Lifeline - 15. Runk City
Episode Date: July 18, 2022🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Ma...tt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. Today we have great advice for a NUTTY workplace situation, litterbugs, neighbor stuff, babysitter stuff, and a hilarious caller who's focused on the wrong things. 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 More LIFELINE: 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline 💃 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hello.
Hello.
Hello. Will you please? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?
Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner.
No. Sometimes I feel like my only friend is the city I live in. The city of angels.
Lonely as I am.
Together we'll cry.
That one note was horrible.
Right when I said wow, that note right before that was just truly atrocious.
But I will say, honestly, have you been working on that or no?
Because that's the best you've ever sang.
It's horrible, but it's the best you've ever sang.
I don't ever want to feel like I did that day.
A whole arm went up your ass.
Take me to the place I love.
Whoops.
Take me all the place I love. Whoops. Take me all the way.
Dude.
ChrisLeah.com
You know that song I was singing?
Because it's so good and I sing it good.
I know it.
You know how he says,
I don't ever want to feel like it.
I already know what you're going to say.
What am I going to say?
You're going to say,
it sounds like he starts it with an L.
We're brothers.
We're brothers.
Dude, we're brothers we're brothers dude we're
brothers right yeah and we never talked about this am i right i don't ever want to feel i know you
so well yeah dude why did you how did you possibly know i don't know dude one time my friend said
dude i had a dream the other day about a t-rex and i said oh yeah and you want to know the weirdest
thing i said was it smaller than it than it normally would be and he said yeah how did you
know dude sometimes you just know who you sometimes you just know your friends and sometimes and you
definitely know your brothers yeah that's true so speaking of that was crazy though well i don't
ever want to feel you know what's great i sing better now because of my fucking oh that makes
sense shit is out so if you thought i was good before which you did my shit is amazing now and
i would tell you even more i got the stents out today i went to the doctor took him out
no it's clear as shit yeah now let me tell you even more. I got the stents out today. I went to the doctor, took them out. Nose clear as shit.
Yeah.
Now, let me tell you something.
Crusty and disgusting up there, yes.
Yeah.
But also breathe better.
Not so sure yet, but will maybe after the crust goes over.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I will tell you this much too.
Shit, I forgot what I was going to say.
Hold on.
Okay.
Ah, I sound different in my head. Oh, yeah. How crazy is that, dude? I mean, that makes sense though, right? Yeah, I sound different in my head.
Oh, yeah.
How crazy is that, dude?
I mean, that makes sense though, right?
Yeah, I know, but I literally sound different in my head
and it always feels like I have constant boogers.
Let me see if I have boogers.
Okay, well, fucking disgusting.
I got my haircut today.
I'm looking really nice.
I need to get a gold chain because I got the gold...
I got...
Well, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Because I got the gold watch and I got the gold ring.
I got the gold watch and the gold ring and I need to get the gold chain because I can't have a fucking silver chain with the gold shits because my OCD tells me that you should not mix metals even though fashion would beg to differ.
I took off my shirt the other day and I was probably doing it like sexy and suave and shit.
And I accidentally ripped off my chain.
So I don't have my chain right now.
Oh, so it's broken?
It's not on me anymore.
Do you only have one tattoo?
No.
I got two.
One there.
Oh, and one there.
Both of those.
I mean, only like tattoos in your chest.
Is it sex appeal or what?
So foreign.
Is that sex appeal or what?
No, that is not what sex appeal would be.
I disagree.
I mean, you know, sex appeal is something different than that.
I disagree.
I beg to differ.
I don't ever want to feel.
Honestly, how did I know you were going to say that?
I don't know.
I want to get back to that.
Isn't that amazing?
It's really weird that you knew I was going to say that.
How did I know that?
I don't know.
He's perceptive, folks.
Wow.
Honestly, dude, it's literally gorgeous how perceptive I am.
So talk about gorgeous.
Why do you say that word now?
Worst therapist.
Talk about gorgeous.
Ah, fuck, you're fucking gorgeous.
I don't know, dude.
I just come, I start with new shit and then I run with it, man.
Do you think people know what I'm doing when I do that?
Ah, fuck, you're fucking gorgeous.
Fuck, you're fucking gorgeous.
Well, they do know what that you're doing if they listen to the podcast Lifeline.
Colin Farrell sex tape? Yeah. That's the fucking funniest thing that there's ever been. you, fucking gorgeous. Well, they do know what that you're doing if they listen to the podcast Lifeline. Colin Farrell sex tape?
Yeah.
That's the fucking funniest thing that there's ever been.
I are fucking gorgeous.
Ah, fuck you're fucking gorgeous.
That's how I want to have sex, dude.
He copies me, man.
He's gross in it, though.
It's when he was doing that movie when he had his shaved head in the goatee.
So he looks like the ugliest he's ever looked.
Oh, I didn't know there was actual good footage of it.
I thought it was like mostly hazy and great.
It is, but like he goes down on her.
And like, it's like a closeup of him going down.
And he's like, oh, fucking, fucking God, fucking, fucking.
It's only, it's not gross because it's him.
It would be gross if it was somebody else, dude.
I know, but it's the grossest he can be.
No, no, no, no, no.
Whoops.
If it was him dressed as the penguin with that shit,
that's as gross as he could be.
Well, I mean, that would be just demented.
That would never happen
ah you're fucking gorgeous you're gorgeous um so uh he doesn't do that where's the bad
foiled again by batman you're gorgeous what if you were eating while having sex what if you were
fucking foiled again by batman gorgeous gorgeous foiled again by batman this you know
dude can't even fucking well sound way different in my head you don't sound different at all good
so stop saying it okay so what you're gonna do that's great you're gonna stop saying that
entirely a boss i wish i want to be a boss i know i'm a CEO obviously there's no fucking nobody not news to anybody I'm a CEO but
of what of my industry
of my of my of me
of my of my business which is me
so you're not one I have maybe one or two employees
but yeah
I'm a CEO and I want to be
I want to be a boss in a in a place
though where I go to the work every day
and I say stuff like so what you're going to do
is zip it whoops right I want to that would be so dope if you're a boss and people talking you go
whoops like that would be amazing everyone would really hate you though you know that i know but
not if you were lovable and funny about it which i would be very funny about it might not be lovable
but i'd be very funny about it i don't know if employees would appreciate that they'd appreciate
fucking christmas bonuses i'll tell you that much okay well that's entirely separate i don't know if employees would appreciate that. They'd appreciate the fucking Christmas bonuses, I'll tell you that much.
Okay, well, that's entirely separate.
I don't ever want to feel like I did that day.
Why do you make it always a vibrato thing?
It's not necessarily just a vibrato.
It's also I do runs.
What's that?
It's like when you play with the note, when you're playing with the note.
Okay, well, why? I don't ever want to feel here's an example like i did that day
i know what it is because you said it well i want to know why you do it it's better it makes the
song rip a little i don't like it oh well you're in a minority but if you're going to sing under
the bridge you got to sing it like ketis you don't fucking sing no Oh, well, you're in the minority. But if you're going to sing under the bridge, you got to sing it like Kiedis.
You don't fucking sing it like fucking-
No, that's where-
I'm not a fucking cover band, dude.
I bring my own shit to it.
Okay.
I bring-
I'm an artist.
So excuse me if you want to be Mr. Fucking, you know.
But I do.
I'm a crazy artist, you know?
Okay.
I sing it good, though, at the top of the show.
That's fine.
So I got the nose surgery.
The stents came out.
Feels amazing.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Got a machine head.
It's better than rest.
Bad.
Is that that song?
No, it's a different song.
Same guy, though.
So why would you do a different song when we were singing this one?
It's called a medley. But it's not a medley when we were singing this one? It's called a medley.
But it's not a medley
because it's both of us.
It's called a medley of Bush.
Gavin Rossdale medley.
You know Gavin Rossdale's-
Medley of Bush fucking orgy.
You know Gavin Rossdale's gay?
No.
I didn't even know that either.
Doesn't matter though.
I don't see color.
Oh, that's not color.
I don't ever wanna- either. It doesn't matter though. I don't see color. Oh, that's not color? I don't ever want to.
So breathe in, breathe out.
That's the most 90s song of all time, dude.
Love it.
Bush is the most 90s band of all time for sure.
You got a machine head.
It's better than rest.
All right.
So provocative to call their band Bush.
That's like calling their band schlong.
Schlong, dude.
Yeah, dude.
So fucking like, remember when, that was when bush was created for the fucking p word oh dude um have you heard are
you familiar with the bench long no you know okay yeah uh but i will say uh uh i can breathe better
and it's amazing and i hope it keeps going you know it's very crusty and disgusting up there
dusted and busted but um yeah it's good and uh i feel good and he said the swelling will go down
i gotta go in tomorrow he's gonna clean it up nice dude he's gonna take the suction in and just go
oh disgusting disgusting yeah i told you did you get the cotton out well that that was out day one
oh really yeah that comes out the next day ouch um and then
fucking ouch did that hurt uh no not at all i actually i actually i heard that it was going
to be so either so awful or feel great what people have different they're like people say
it's the worst part of the surgery is getting those cotton parts out the fuck out of here
but i believe those people no no no like doctors say oh yeah and um and then i i literally didn't know he did
it yet oh i didn't feel it yeah it was just really weird because i wasn't numb i was like did you do
it and he was like yep oh i was like oh it's done because i expected something had you taken the uh
codeine or no it wasn't because of that no yeah, yeah. I did take it, but I mean like.
I mean, I'm tough too, so I don't feel a lot of stuff.
Yeah.
So it's all good for me because I don't feel shit stuff because I'm tough.
But that same doctor did this.
The thing that doctors clinically consider the third most painful thing that is like a common medical procedure.
I mean, obviously like-
What?
Getting shot 80 times would be more painful.
But it's childbirth, kidney stones, and the thing that they had to do to me.
What?
Which is remove a tonsillary abscess while you are-
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I didn't know that that's what you had.
Yeah, tonsil shit is just-
I still had my tonsils at the time, and I had an abscess growing on my tonsils.
It was closing off my throat.
I fucking got sick like immediately overnight.
Luckily, I was at mom and dad's house.
I had to sleep there.
I couldn't even get my car.
I went there for dinner, felt fine.
By the time dinner was over, I had 103 fever and had to sleep there.
What?
Passed out, woke up at 7 a.m.
Dad was like, I'm not fucking going to work.
I'm driving you to Sean's because I already had the fucking
sinus surgery
with him.
So the infection
was up there.
That's why I had
the surgery.
After the surgery,
it moved,
dude.
It was living.
It was living it up
in my head,
dude.
And it went down
to my tonsils.
And then it created
an abscess back there.
And I go in there
and I can't swallow.
I have 100 and 300
and four fever.
Sean,
dude,
we get there.
Sean clears out his entire doctor's office. Other patients makes him leave, makes dad leave. Dad was like,
I don't want to go. He's like, you can't stay in here. I've seen people fucking pass out from this
shit. And I was like, what the fuck is going on? And he's like, I was like, well, what if I like
waited a day? He's like, dude, if you waited a day, if you waited an hour, you might be dead.
I was like, what are you talking about?
He's like, I got to take this thing out of your throat right now.
Did he put you under?
No, he didn't have time.
He gave me one fucking Vicodin.
Gets these fucking horse dick sized like silver fucking rods.
And like a big fucking long mirror thing.
And he just starts fucking going to work.
Got aen head.
It's better than the wrist.
What if that's what he was doing when he was doing it?
But dude, so I'm in the chair and I just see blood going.
Oh my God.
And he's just like this.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Dude, if he did that.
But dude, the blood was going.
I don't ever want to feel like I did that day.
Wait, how amazing would it be though if that's what he was doing?
Because you'd be in so much pain, but you'd still be like, God, he's really fucking awesome.
Yeah.
I mean, that would be the shit.
But here's the real reason I brought up the story, though.
Okay.
I'm Batman.
It's because of the toughness of me.
He warned me.
He said, before he did anything, he said he said matt i wish i could say something else
but this is going to hurt so bad really and i was like do it because i was in so much pain already
yeah so i was like do it make this stop and as he was doing it i was thinking as it's good he said
that because it hurts but it doesn't hurt that bad because you were ready yeah i was so ready
so that was like the opposite of what he did for me when i fucking sprayed ants up my nose and i
passed out right yeah exactly all right well but thing, that thing, moral of the story and the story, that's what killed
George Washington.
Oh shit.
Yeah, dude, I'm tough.
He's tough.
He won the war and shit.
First president general.
I'm tougher.
I survived it.
Wow.
Wow.
Anyway, got a machine hand.
So, since you're...
All right.
So, let's do...
Let's go.
Let's do it.
Here we go.
First one.
Brent Morin.
What's up, guys?
Dan here from North Carolina.
Got one for you.
So, where we live, we've got two wooded lots on either side of our house.
We're tucked back in the woods a little bit.
Cool.
People drive down our road in our neighborhood and I guess think, no, no one lives here.
I'm just going to litter all the time.
Super frustrating.
The other day, I go out my front door, cars driving by.
As they're passing through, a bunch of papers and napkins fly out the window
naturally vrm uh but what can you do go and pick up all the shit one of the items though was a
receipt oh with her name on it oh papa john's 40 pizzas 40 days fat fuck yeah so i'll look her up
on next door of course she lives in the new neighborhood that
our old neighborhood is next to.
Bro, this guy's like the fucking
casual Liam Neeson.
I will find you. I will
kill you. I will find
the Papa John's you want to.
I will ask for the statement, and I will
find you, and I will kill you.
All right. What do you think of that?
I don't know if you did anything rad yet.
You got to wait.
Well, go ahead.
Yeah, she lives like a quarter mile away.
So I killed her.
My question is, what's the best thing to do here?
Do I shame her on next door?
Do I send her her receipt back in the mail and say, change?
Do I spin move onto her front porch?
Wow, that would be amazing.
And confront her.
I don't know.
Those all sound pretty bad.
So hoping you guys have something better.
Getting chased by the cops.
Love the show.
Sore, sore.
K.
K.
Yeah.
By the way, BRM is Blood Red Mad.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
He knows them all.
He knows them all.
He's got them all.
He's legit.
He said those are all bad ideas, but I like the idea of bringing it back to her house. Yeah. He knows them all. He knows them all. He's got them all. He's legit. He said those are all bad ideas,
but I like the idea of bringing it back to her house.
Right.
But maybe he could hand deliver it.
And be like, you left this at my house.
Dress in a suit just to really confuse the shit out of her.
Right, with a rose.
Yeah.
I would like to give you...
Oh, you dropped this.
What?
What?
Yeah, you dropped this right at my house.
You drove by and you thought my place was the trash can.
Yeah.
And then do a spin move.
You know what he should do?
He should do it in person.
He should do all that.
But he should take a trash can with him.
And he should say, do you see me?
And do you see this?
Do we look the same?
A magician.
Do we look the same? Yeah magician. Do we look the same?
Yeah.
And then when she says no, he could act confused and be like, well, then why did you treat us exactly the exact same?
Yeah.
Wow.
You know what I mean?
So fucking much work to do that.
But what he should do is go over there and ring the doorbell.
When she opens it, take trash and just drop it out of front door.
Yeah.
And she'd be like, sir, what are you doing?
And he says, well, exactly what you did.
Yeah.
Exactly what you did.
Yeah.
You threw a receipt from Papa John's out of my front door.
So what I'm doing is, they say the same thing, bye.
And then fucking.
Who the fuck?
That's so gross, dude.
Who throws trash out their window?
Dude, I've never once done that.
Oh, wow.
Really?
Why would you throw trash out your window?
Throw it away when you get out of your car well it's if it's super gross and like you you don't want it to get all
over your car i understand i understand okay in like an emergency if like your fucking kid threw
up in the car okay talking about a little bit back it up a little bit though you know what i mean not
not if your kid threw up like i'm saying like if you have, I don't do this, but like if I had a wet cup that
I finished and all the cup holders were full with something.
No, never.
I would never do that.
Yeah, I wouldn't do it.
I would open the window, dump the liquid out and just throw it in the back and throw it
out.
But then still it would get wet in the back.
Who gives a shit?
It dries.
But I understand it.
Okay.
But it's fucking rude and shitty.
It is rude and shitty. Okay. So he understand it. Okay, but it's fucking rude and shitty. It is rude and shitty.
Okay, so he should send it back, bring it back, whatever.
I think, I mean, what he should really do, if he has the time and gives a fuck, is send it back in the mail with a note.
Yeah, fair enough.
Yeah, I would say that's a good move.
It is interesting how much that irks him.
It must happen to this guy a lot, actually.
Clearly, yeah.
But he said it did, though.
He said people treat it like it's a, you know, after he got done bragging about that he lives on a fucking, you actually. Clearly, yeah. But he said it did though. He said people treat it like
it's a, you know,
after he got done bragging
about that he lives on a fucking,
Right, it's like a beautiful
biggest state.
You know, we've got acres
and acres upon acres
and whatever, I get it,
but you know.
Yeah.
Yeah, it sucks.
So I guess, yeah, that's it.
Mail it back to her.
That would be really interesting.
Yeah.
With a really heartfelt
like lip, man.
It really sucks.
Yeah, yeah.
I can't believe what you did.
I'm trying to get over it.
Me and my wife
are having a hard time.
That would be great, dude. We're going to get over it at some point.'s okay it's really hard it really it's really you know dealing with this would be one thing but dealing with it while
she's in bed with cancer really is hard right right right you know you're just adding to our
problems right right right yeah so go ahead yeah all right pause pause it, pause it before it starts. Okay.
I love her.
Oh.
Hey, Chris and Matt.
My name is Brittany and I'm from Newfoundland, Canada.
I've been a huge fan for a long time.
I've been listening to Congratulations since 2018 and I've been a member of the Church of K since it started.
Yeah. And I'm your biggest fan, Matt.
Yeah. Anyone who says otherwise is dead to me
yeah okay dead wrong well it's both of us but yeah um but i'm looking for advice because
the other day my house caught on fire while i was in it with my cat we did get out and no one was
hurt um saying that so casually but like that's what happened and um i've had like
really really great people around me because my friends are amazing my co-workers are amazing my
family is amazing and they've all been helping me so much and it's been i mean jesus like it's been
so overwhelming like the love that i've received um which isn't a complaint it sounds like i'm
complaining about it but i'm not what i'm struggling with is accepting the help and
not feeling guilty for it like i feel like i have to like tell everyone like you you shouldn't be
helping me like don't help me but that's like insulting and i just I don't know how to accept it to myself that like it's okay to accept help.
And again, I know this is like such a silly complaint to have and it's, I'm so privileged to have such wonderful people around me.
It's great.
And I am so grateful because I do need that.
And I do feel loved.
But I just don't know how to accept that other people want to help me.
And I was just wondering if you guys have any tips around like accepting help
and yeah, just accepting help.
And I know that you both were raised Catholic,
so you can relate to that Catholic guilt thing.
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure that's where a lot of this comes from.
But yeah, just any tips
i would really appreciate i feel like and thank you guys so much for all the laughs and yeah yeah
thanks i feel like uh my version of this is like i did it today dude i caught myself like
i was getting my nose stuff done and then afterwards i went to a cafe and i sat down i ordered some food
and these two women walked in and i just decided uh they fucking hate me oh like that i do that i
talk about my podcast i i always think somebody hates me when they walk into a room i'm like all
these people all fucking they don't like me i'd have to like make them like me which is so much
work and stress and like mental fucking bullshit and it's all me because half the time
honestly a lot of the times they'll walk up to me and be like hey man big fan or whatever the
fuck yeah or also you have no idea who you are exactly it's so egotistical to walk in and think
somebody hates me so so um so i did it i was like oh this chick hates me and i was like dude no they
don't man why am i fucking thinking of this And it's just like this stuff, like,
I mean, that's a different thing
than what you're dealing with,
but that's all something you're putting on
and you don't need to.
Like, dude, it makes people feel good to help you
and you'd do the same for them.
And it sucks that you feel that way.
And it's a weird thing to complain about,
but then you're adding the double stress of,
oh, fucking, but now I feel bad
I'm even complaining about it.
Like, dude dude just like let
people help you because this sounds so fucking but like because you matter dude like you just
matter as a person you're just a you're a person that people love and besides that you're just a
person your fucking house caught on fire which is the worst thing yeah you know like it's the worst
thing so just fucking let them do it you owe it to yourself and them to just
let them do it yeah i mean she's great i love her i've known her for a while just online and stuff
um uh and yeah she seems sweet yeah she's great um and that's terrible that happened but i think But I think the truth is you – think of it this way.
If it happened to someone you loved, you would want so much to help the person it happened to.
And you would be touched if they let you help them.
So think of it that way.
The people that are wanting to help you, you're making them feel good
by accepting their help.
I'm bad at accepting other people's help as well.
But when I realize
accepting their help makes them feel better,
I'm not doing them a favor
by getting out of their way
or like not accepting their help.
They're not extending the offer
because they're secretly hoping
I don't fucking take it.
They want to give it to me.
They want to help.
It makes people feel good to help.
So let them.
And then also receive the help so you both end up benefiting.
It's a good fucking thing.
You like to help people.
Let them help you.
Everybody ends up benefiting.
And it's fucking great.
Especially if you have chick friends.
Chick love to do that shit, dude.
Chicks love it.
Chicks love it.
Dude, one time, I think it was, yeah, it was Kristenristin she was like i wish you were because i don't remember it might have been it might have been cassie before i don't know i think it was kristin
though she was like i know it was kristin for sure it doesn't matter i remember no but i remember but
i want to get it right though okay she was like i wish you were sick and i was like what and she
was like i just like love to take care of you all day. Wow. And I'm just like, so chick.
Like, chicks love that shit, dude.
And dudes do, too, if they're fucking bitch, if they're bitchmates.
You know what I mean?
So if you have bitchmate friend dudes, then great.
And if you have chick friends, then great.
They want to help you.
No, I, one time in the middle of the night, I got a call from someone I really kind of don't know.
Not, didn't know that well, even at the time.
I mean, everything is taken. And she was like not i don't really know why i called you this is not someone i was romantically involved with at all this is someone i was only kind of
friends with she was like i'm in jail i got arrested can you come pick me up are you fucking
shitting me and i was like yeah i'll do that when the the hell was this? This was years ago. Did you ever tell me?
I don't know.
No, maybe not.
You don't know her.
Chris knows her.
Why did you call you?
I don't know.
I think she just thought I would be the one that wouldn't judge her.
Whoa, dude.
I wish you called me.
I would have done it.
I would have loved.
Just a stranger, you know?
That sucks, dude.
You know what?
Give her my number if it happens again.
Man, I would love to show up.
You know when they say people are like, like yo last night was a movie yeah you could
say it after that was a but it's like a fucked up independent movie but like last night you can say
like this last yo last night was a movie it's like a movie i think i think she could actually say
last night was a play her it was a play oh yeah you know yeah right right right yeah what do you
want like oh i'm here to pick up my friend.
Yeah.
You don't even barely know her.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
In a white tank top.
Let her sweat it out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We threw her in a drunk tank.
Yeah.
Really?
Has she been drinking?
I don't know.
The papers here say.
You know, a bunch of prop papers and shit.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was a play.
But I don't even really talk to her anymore.
Well.
But I got her out of jail.
She's a convict.
And it made me feel good.
It made me fucking feel good.
Right, yeah.
And that is the point.
People like to give help.
You know what she was in jail for?
Yeah.
What's it about?
Drinking and driving.
Drinking and driving.
Wow.
Yep.
Well, okay.
So let people help you
yeah let them
you matter
thanks Brittany
what's up man
Chris
my name's Shaq
quick question
um
the illest guy in the world
so my wife and I
got married in October
and we live in a townhouse
and
and when I
pause it
pause it
and when
and the thing is
I really don't want to
join Boyz II Men
but my
my look my face and my glasses and also my chain and the hat and particularly the way my hair is behind it.
My wife says, you have to join Boyz II Men.
And I'm just like, God, but that's not me, you know, and I can't even really sing.
But she's like, but look, did you look in the mirror?
And I do every day and i get what she's saying so my question is should i be the fifth member
of boys to men and perform with them always on the second show at the mirage after the comedian
dude they do they perform every fucking friday saturday on the second show after whatever comedian is there.
Dude.
That's so weird.
There's nothing more voice to men than that, dude.
That's so weird.
You've been so rude to the guy, but...
What?
He looks so much like...
Not about that,
but now you're just talking about the Mirage.
You know what I mean?
It started out good,
but now you're talking about Las Vegas.
So here's the thing.
I just married my wife,
and sure,
but the thing is,
I wonder if when she tells me
to take out the trash,
it's like,
how hard it is to say goodbye
to yesterday.
Anyway.
That was bad.
Yeah, yeah,
because I probably didn't know
what song I was singing yet.
Anyway, go ahead.
Where every time we play music.
Here we go.
Or watch a movie or something, she'll call the cops
on us because they say it's
too loud. It's never even that loud.
Oh, that's hard.
We wanted to be cordial, so I went over to her house
and knocked on her door.
She never came to the door.
Anytime, she never comes to the door.
I've done spin moves in front of her
red doorbell, so she knows I'm capable
of doing those kind of moves. But, yeah. to the door i've done spin moves in front of her doorbell so she knows i'm capable of like doing
those kind of moves but yeah i don't know what to do at this point she keeps calling the cops on us
they say they're gonna fine us if we keep doing it but it's like all hours of the day it could
be like 3 p.m wow and we're playing music that's not right where does he live like She's calling the cops on us. So, yeah.
I've thought about signing her up for Scientology and that kind of stuff. Just so she's getting a bunch of mail coming to her house.
Just mild inconveniences.
Yeah.
I can't think of anything.
That's so weird.
I need y'all's help to get me out of this pickle so I don't have the cops coming to my door banging on it every single day.
That's crazy.
I appreciate it.
I'm seeing Chris in Atlanta in September.
Can't wait.
Me and my brother are going to come see.
And I guess we'll make friends with that guy from a few weeks ago who's moving here.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Douche.
Oh, yeah, hell yeah.
I'll be in Atlanta.
ChrisLeah.com. God damn it. I always forget i'll be in atlanta chris leah.com god
damn it i always do that up front atlanta chris leah.com it's almost sold out go to chris leah.com
i'll also be in washington dc i want to get to your problem sir but uh be in washington dc and
then also uh dallas and then also uh wichita so anyway next question uh no i honestly think you
should write her a note what an asshole she won't come to the
yeah that's the biggest shit that it's like all right at least fucking man dude it's not like
he's got a gun waving it in your face his fucking soundtrack his music is too loud you know what i
mean like not even too loud what right right right i mean right well even if it is though it's like
how is that the first step dude well yeah that's on their door and say hey can you
turn it down can you move it off the wall like there's there's solutions here also if she's not
black if she's white just play the race thing yeah well 100 do that yeah uh it's also it's
probably it's a white lady thing to do to call it probably white if she is white i i applaud the
dude for not making it about that but you know what i mean that's that is yeah that's so annoying uh that that uh is so
annoying and uh but definitely get get crafty and get silly with it you have to because i mean
she's doing everything legal but it's still shitty you know so you got to get crafty with it how is
that the first i can't believe that dude fucking cops? Well, noise pollution is a real thing. But knock on the door, dude.
Come on, knock on my door.
I know I get it.
But also, like, she's, like, it sounds like she's, like, just some woman that lives there.
And she's probably.
Fuck her, dude.
Well, she's obviously scared of.
He should kill her.
He should kill her.
No, I don't.
Wipe her out.
Okay, so it's going to be of the disclaimer first.
But.
No, but he should, like, write her a note and, like, be a human kill her. No, I don't. You should wipe her out. Okay, so it's good we have the disclaimer first, but. No, but he should like write her a note and like be a human to her and be like, look,
I don't know how we got off on this foot, but like, can we just like have a conversation
about this instead of like immediately going to the fucking police?
Yeah.
You should actually knock on her door and be like, ma'am, before you make the biggest
mistake of our lives, don't do it, baby.
No, no, no, no, no.
Is that Boyz II Men?
That's Boyz II Men, yes.
Don't call the cops.
I think you need to establish, even though she won't come to the door, you got to figure out a way to establish a line of communication with her and represent yourself as the human that you are.
And sometimes people just lash out and do the extreme thing.
And then they're like that sort of that kind of behavior crumbles under the
realization that they're doing it to just a human being.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
No, I totally agree.
So I think maybe if you can somehow, even though she's not coming to the door
like a fucking complete asshole.
Yeah.
Like write a note to her like even if you have to
write like several like make it your mission to establish a line of communication with this woman
and and i think that if you can exhibit you're just like just what you did with us that you're
just like a fucking human being uh i think she might actually be reasonable yeah i mean it could
be but also you are also the brother,
the D'Elia brother that hasn't seen Fear Thy Neighbor,
and that is a fucking show that I've told you about
that people wind up dead there.
And it always takes place in Atlanta.
So I'm just saying, dude.
You think he's going to die or the other woman's going to die?
No.
In the show, he would die.
Oh, really?
Well, yeah, because it's always the person that's like,
what's the problem that dies? Oh, really? Yeah i'm sorry did i like because they don't know i
didn't know what i was doing and then all of a sudden they were on my front lawn with a fucking
ak whoa uh yeah dude uh but also get silly with it and get you know do things that you can be
creatively like you know uh uh uh what do you call it?
Like fuck her life up
in like the ways
that she's fucking yours up,
you know, because I mean-
Yeah, that could escalate though.
It could escalate,
but it can't if you're like,
well, that wasn't me.
Right, yeah.
Yeah, true.
I didn't do that.
I'm sorry.
Left the fucking,
all those boys from NCDs out.
That's not going to stop the thing though.
That's not going to stop the cops.
No.
That's not going to stop her from calling the cops rather. Yeah to stop the cops. No. That's not going to stop her
from calling the cops rather.
Yeah, it might not,
but you might get the hint
if you wink, you know what I mean?
It wasn't me and then wink.
No, I think honestly,
you got to just show her
the human that you are
and like make her hostility crumble.
That's, I hate people like that.
Me too.
That's like the worst fucking shit.
I feel so guilty like in hotels when people are being so loud and like, I remember once
I called the front desk because it was like 3.30 in the morning and it wasn't even like
a Friday or a Saturday.
And it was so, they were so loud playing music.
And I felt so guilty calling because I was like, I should just go over there and fucking
say something.
But the reason why I didn't, well, I don't, I think the reason why I didn't is because I didn't want them to be like, oh, Chris D'Elia.
And then fucking that was a whole thing.
But that's what I made it about instead of being a fucking real man and going over there.
I just called security like a bitch.
I think sometimes – yeah.
For me, a reason I would call in that instance is if I got up and did it, I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep.
Right, right, right.
If I just rolled over and fucking called the front desk,
I would be able to fall back asleep.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, dude, yeah, we'll be quiet.
Can we take some pictures?
Me like this in the pictures.
Just so asleep.
You just join the party.
What's up, Chris and Matt?
This is AJ from Auburn, Washington.
I just need some advice from you guys.
My fiance and I have been together for about four years.
We have a toddler together.
He's two and a half, same age as Calvin.
It's been real cool to watch him grow up together.
And I need advice on babysitting.
I've been looking into alternate methods of babysitting since we have no family around.
We've probably only gone
out together three times since he's been born. And that could put a strain on your relationship.
And we're doing relatively well considering, but I'd like to spend more time with her. And I think
it would make things a lot better for us. But she's concerned that a babysitter would do something to the kid, which is understandable.
And he can't speak full sentences yet. So I get it. But she's absolutely not down with it. So I'd
love to hear your guys' opinion on this. Thank you. That's a good one because I don't, well,
also, well, first of all, don't you know people?
Like, don't you know people that would do it?
Yeah.
That's the thing is go to people that you know that might do it.
Yeah.
Or, I mean, you should handle this in general because what the fuck do I know?
But I feel like if there's a way to like contact or connect with vetted.
Yeah.
There are apps that you can use that they're vetted and shit.
So that's your,
I think that's your second best bet
is if you don't have somebody
that you know that like you trust.
Also get like a nanit thing,
like video.
Yeah, you could do that.
But also, I mean, you never know.
So that doesn't stop somebody
from kidnapping your kid,
which is that's what she's scared of.
Whatever.
Right, okay.
But yeah, I'm of your wife's thought like i don't like like kristin is
like we'll just use the babysitter that comes with the hotel and i'm just like no and and she's like
they're all vetted and they use them all the time and i'm like yeah but i don't fucking know this
person yeah they're not watching my kid in fucking room 205 yeah you know like i just don't i don't i don't like that at all and i
uh just feel like well i'm lucky i have a nanny that we trust and she she babysits most of the
time and we're near grandparents you know so my mom and dad will watch him sometimes
but yeah man i i wouldn't use i wouldn't use an app i wouldn't use an app i wouldn't use an app. I wouldn't use an app. I wouldn't use somebody that I didn't
know and trusted.
I just, I don't think, or
if somebody I knew
a friend that had a babysitter that they trusted,
I would do that. But yeah, man,
I'm with your wife on that,
dude. I'm sorry to say, like,
bro, that's your kid,
you know, and he's a little bit more trusting,
which he's probably right.
Nothing's going to happen.
But still, I wouldn't be able to have fun on the date.
A friend of yours or a friend of your wife's, even if it's like, can you just do us a favor one night?
Like watch the kid?
Like fucking, they'll do it.
Yeah, true.
Yeah, true.
Just ask a friend.
Yeah, I guess.
They don't have friends, I think.
They have no friends in the area.
Oh, did they just move or something?
I think he said something.
He's like,
we didn't just move.
We're actually losers.
That's the thing is that we're so boring.
Anyway,
ask,
ask.
Oh yeah.
That's done.
That's fucking tough.
Yeah.
What are you gonna say?
I was gonna say,
ask someone that you know with kids,
but they do have,
they do have,
yeah, they do have apps for that that vet the people.
And those people do not want to get sued.
Yeah.
I mean, if I had a kid, I would let anybody fucking watch my kid.
You would not?
I would let anyone watch my kid.
Anyone?
Yeah.
Like?
Just go ahead.
Mailman?
Yeah.
Hey, thanks for the mail.
One second.
I got to run to the grocery store.
Do you mind?
Yeah, basically. Yeah. Okay, cool. He just mails your mail. One second. I got to run to the grocery store. Do you mind? Yeah, basically, yeah.
Okay, cool.
He just mails your kid.
All right.
Hey, Delias.
Hey, I was making this video.
She has a question.
I'm pretty sure you guessed.
How can normal guys get normal dates and relationships
without having the the fastest cars the
biggest houses the biggest comics legs that were the biggest cocks you know
don't turn it into an asshole how do we get decent girls you know that bright
outlooks you know died without like mega amounts of money magic tricks and changing our own personalities
um i like the way you guys put stuff together you guys are a family unit it's pretty tight
hell yeah you have good work i like chris's ferrari okay well it's solid it's solid the
ferrari okay thanks for listening guys yeah man i mean i mean it's our. It's solid, the Ferrari. Thanks for listening, guys.
Yeah, man.
I mean, it's our podcast, bro.
You're listening to us.
Dude, he just died in the middle.
I like Chris Ferrari.
So that was the third one that he liked about us, by the way.
Yeah.
You know, big fan.
You guys are a family.
I love the podcast.
I like Chris Ferrari.
Anyway, thanks for listening to my podcast uh i mean dude i mean so many guys say this kind of shit uh i i can't recommend a dating app because i've never been on one i've never been on one either but say that they're helpful
that's good yeah yeah but um the thing guys get in their head about like, I'm not fucking rich.
I'm not like fucking this and that, whatever.
So I got to like put on a thing.
That is the exact wrong step.
You don't go outward into another identity that you think other people want.
Yeah.
You turn in and lean into the identity that you already have.
Because it's not about confidence in the swagger sense.
Are you lonely?
But confidence in the person is exuding comfort with who they are.
That is the most attractive thing.
Are you waiting for someone?
Why are you saying that?
Because that's what I'm saying.
I could do it. You don't want to. Well, anyway, the good advice that? Because that's what I'm saying. Like, I could do it.
You don't want to, but...
Well, anyway, the good advice that I'm giving
while you're doing that...
Is your man in the bathroom.
Yeah.
I think that, honestly,
my friend once said to me...
Well, actually, he didn't say to me.
I heard him say to another guy
that was talking to a girl.
And he said, after the girl left, he said,
what did you say to that girl?
And he said, I don't remember.
And he said, and then I said to him,
why did you ask him what he said to the girl?
Because he does that a lot.
And he says, because I want to know what to say
to make girls like
me. And it is not about
what you say.
It is about who you
are and you need to work on that
internally. Dude, girls, look,
everyone wants money because it makes life much
more comfortable. But what
girls want more than money, most
girls, is like a good, loyal
dude, right?
And if that's what you are, even though you're a paraplegic and you barely moved in the video,
it's, you know, the girls will sniff that out, right?
They'll sniff that out.
You die every however long, right?
But you come back to life.
Narcoleptic.
It's fine.
Play the part where he passed out.
Amazing, dude.
Go back and play the part where he passed out. dude go back and play the part where he passed out
please dude
it's so funny
it's in the middle
I was making this video
actually
well we'll find it
I'm pretty sure you guys
how can normal guys
get normal dates
and relationships
without having like
the fastest cars
I mean this guy
doesn't move at all
the biggest cocks
oh his hand's moving
the biggest cocks
slid it in there
without turning into an asshole watch when he dies I would get decent girls who you know doesn't move at all. Oh, his hand's moving. Biggest cocks. Slid it in there.
Turn it into an asshole.
Watch when he dies.
I would get decent girls who, you know,
have bright outlooks.
That's so weird.
Bright outlooks.
That's a good thing.
I know, but...
Died.
Mega amounts of money.
Magic tricks.
Die, dude!
Change your own personality.
All right, cool.
Look, man, magic tricks. You you know that was the third this guy
his his shit his lists fall apart at number three you know i mean like what do you want to eat um i
have a turkey sandwich uh potato salad car parts like what dude like dude you can't pick three
dude the three every time you got to the third
thing yes i really love you guys your family you guys are hilarious chris's car
well how do you get chicks without having money a great personality magic tricks.
This guy can't do three things.
You should stop at two.
Oh, shit.
Just be yourself.
I mean, he's clearly
a fucking confident guy.
I mean,
I'm assuming
that's not working,
but that's like a...
Chalk that up to a streak, dude.
You're going to be fucking fine.
He's handsome, too.
Yeah, he's a good looking dude.
You're going to be fine. Just don't think what other things do i need yeah yeah you have everything that you need yeah i mean yeah trust me right oh man that was fucking funny that
guy what's up chris and matt i love the new show i wish there was more of it to binge because it's so good.
Cool.
I have a little bit of a tricky one for you guys.
So we got a new girl at work like maybe a month ago or so.
And they send out like a work email that has a picture attached.
And it's kind of like a professional type of job.
And so I noticed that she was attractive before she even started there.
Wow.
So then the girl starts.
I work in like a separate part of the office kind of by myself, so I don't run into a lot
of people.
So I can get bonus in peace.
And long story short, we haven't had any interaction.
We've never been formally introduced.
Wow.
As far as I know, she didn't even know I existed.
But then I woke up one morning and I got a follow from her on Instagram at 3.30 in the
morning.
Ha.
Oh.
So I guess my question is is is that like a sign that
she may be interested or is it just kind of like an innocent coincidence maybe not 3 30 in the
morning in the area and she's just trying to make friends i don't know i'm unsure if i should proceed
with any what happened well don't proceed with anything but just know that because man these chicks be calculated you know what i mean don't ever pursue a workplace relationship yeah don't proceed with anything but just know that because man these chicks be calculated you
know what i mean don't ever pursue a workplace relationship yeah don't don't do that i agree
with you i agree with you but my point is she would have thought better oh i shouldn't follow
him at 3 30 in the morning i'll follow him you know he's one i want to follow everybody i work
with but i want to follow also did she follow other people she worked with that's what i was
going to say like look at that if you want to if you want to follow. Also, did she follow other people she worked with? That's what I was going to say. Like, look at that. If you want to, if you want to know
if it's a sign or not, look at the other people that you know from work that are on Instagram,
see if she follows them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that that's a cool sign, but don't run with it.
That's one of those things was like, oh, that's a good sign, but don't run with it. First of all,
even if she didn't work with you, don't run with it. Just know that it happened. And then maybe
if you see her next time, say, hey, you know what i mean maybe do a magic trick well no
if you didn't work with her then he could pursue her if you felt like it i know but i'm saying
not right away you look too eager you got to chill a little bit i don't believe in that no no but i'm
saying no okay if you want to respond you right do it right away who gives you shit no i know but
i'm saying but matt this is this is from i guess i'm thinking about with the workplace thing yeah oh yeah okay then yeah i mean
yeah totally yeah but yeah i guess if it will if it wasn't if she had nothing to do with work then
yeah you can write her whenever it doesn't matter yeah but just be careful with the work thing yeah
i mean beyond careful yeah dude wow i saw i'm still thinking about that guy before him um i just uh
i just think uh it's a train wreck dude it's a train
wreck it's a train wreck if you're trying to date a person i mean look if she pursues you
forget what i said yeah but like don't pursue her uh if she's fucking following you at 330 who knows
she's could be a fucking wild card it might actually pursue you but don't yeah if she's a
wild card and she does pursue you though you gotta't. Yeah, if she's a wild card
and she does pursue you though,
you got to be extra careful
because of that.
Because if she's going to
throw caution to the wind
and hit on someone
that she's working with,
definitely don't go with it.
Don't go for her.
I think it might be safer though,
especially if there's
a written correspondence
preceding it.
Oh.
Oh, you're saying
because you have proof?
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Unless she comes up to you
and says, hey, what's up?
Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he should say, Unless she comes up to you and says, hey, what's up? Of course.
And then he should say, what?
Yeah, yeah.
DM me.
Go like this.
Now, let's.
I know you follow me because you follow me at 3.30 the other morning.
Yeah.
Write it to me on there so I have evidence of it later.
Hitch at 3.30.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Careful.
Yeah. That's it. Yeah. Careful. Yeah.
That's it.
Hey, man, Chris.
This is Dennis.
Love the show.
Love the show.
Love the brother dynamics.
I got a couple brothers myself, so I think it's freaking hilarious.
Straight to the question.
How do you guys deal with situations where, like, your girlfriend or your wife, whatever,
forced you to be friends with, like like their co-workers' husbands?
Oh.
It's kind of weird.
Co-worker.
It's pretty out there.
When you're friends organically, when you meet friends organically, your husbands or
their partners or whatever, you usually have like shared interests because you go find
people that are kind of are similar to you.
But when you work with someone, you're kind of forced to be friends, right?
Yeah.
So their significant others or their husbands aren't normally the same type of people that
you normally hang out with.
Anyways, situation came up a couple years ago.
My wife had a coworker.
It was close to Halloween.
So they're like, oh oh we should go to winchester
mystery house so we went it was like a double date and uh the husband's kind of kind of a mean
kind of meathead or something and then uh he tried to pick on me i was like oh whatever dude so i
started blasting back but after like 30 minutes of like awkwardness it became okay but other than
that like i just want to see how you
guys deal with that stuff i don't just suck it up and just do it and i've been doing it for like
13 years yo i've been with this girl for 13 years my wife um but it just happens every like every
other year she's like oh let's make a new friend well anyway let's see what you guys your angle on
it thank you guys so much.
Bite that bullet, dude.
Bite that bullet and fucking just go and just be like, ah, ha, ha, ha.
Yeah.
Ah, ha, ha, fucking funny joke, dude.
I fucking love this guy, by the way.
Yeah, he's cool.
And not just because he's wearing my merch.
That's hilarious, dude.
Because I guess I never thought about the difference between like you and people always talk about like oh you're you're significant others friends significant others and like how you don't
choose their them to be friends friends with them but you have to like be friends with their husbands
and shit because you're gonna see them um that's hard enough i'm really i'm really lucky all of
kristin's significant all of of Kristen's friends' significant others,
they're all like, I think all of them are like super fucking cool and fun to be around, which is crazy, bro.
It's crazy.
Her friends are awesome and their significant others are,
like I lucked out.
Like I would hang out with them alone, you know?
But I never thought about the fucking co-worker thing because you don't choose who you work with.
So already it's like not somebody that your wife would even really choose to hang with.
They're just trying to relationship build.
And then their significant others, that's so in the weeds.
That fucking sucks, dude.
You got stuck with a meathead.
That sucks.
You got stuck with a meathead at a magic house.
You know what I mean yeah of all day like you probably you probably don't even want to go to the haunted house and like you gotta go with this fucking dude that's like so removed from who you
are that's hilarious yeah bro wow that's so funny you know what now that i'm talking about it look
at the fucking funniness of it because that that sucks, dude. Yeah, that's true.
That sucks.
You got to do it.
You can't not do it.
You ever have one of those days where it's just like, oh, all right.
Like you go, you're late to fucking work or whatever.
And then you get out, a bird shits on your car and you trip.
And then the fucking coffee comes out and it falls on you.
And then you got to go to work with like a stain on your shirt.
At that point, you just chuck it up, dude.
You're just like, ah, fuck.
Oh, okay. It's funny now yeah you know oh i gotta go to a haunted house with some fucking somebody my wife barely
likes person that they're married to that they probably barely like i don't even know this
motherfucker gotta go to a haunted house with a meat head. With a meat head and you're fucking sitting there and there's a... And he's like, you don't even fucking bench, huh?
Just an actual nightmare.
He's dressed like fucking some meat head Regis Philbin or some shit.
It's Halloween.
Oh, right.
And just Superman probably.
Yeah.
Anyway, yeah, dude.
That's really funny, dude.
And that sucks.
But if it's once every... He said once every year or a couple years that's not so bad dude just swallow it and remember
look down at that sweater dude life rips bro that's fucking funny man wow 13 years huh
that's so long holy shit yeah good for him wow
what's up matt what's up chris i got a question for you guys today about a gym partner
of mine. I've been working out with this dude for two years now. He's an awesome guy. I've
been seeing a lot of results and I'm making great progress with him. Overall, he's just
the man. The only issue is about a year in, he started bringing around his cousin who
is an absolute fucking asshole. I mean, the dude is just the most arrogant, cocky person,
makes fun of everyone in the gym, what they're putting up,
what I'm putting up, which is ironic.
He's 5'6".
Is this the guy that the other guy went to the haunted house with?
24, so tiny, right?
But just curious what you guys think.
Kind of ruining my gym experience.
Don't know if I should just go alone or switch gyms
or something like that not really
opposed to either but uh yeah uh chris been rocking with you for a long time man matt love
you it's great to see both you guys doing well and and being successful so oh yeah thanks for
taking my question cheers cool dude what a normal cool fucking chill no pretense dude love it with
the patagonia hat you know his fashion dude i will tell you what dude uh what i would do if i'm being real i don't even know what i would do so yeah oh i know what
i would do i would tell the guy like yo bro i like working out but like your cousin annoys
the shit out oh yeah i would definitely that's what i would say yeah 100 i would say yeah so
like if he's gonna be around that's cool but like i don't want to work out with you if he's gonna be
wrong that's what i would say yeah and i would say it and I would enjoy saying it. Yeah, me too. Because I want you to know that this is now, oh, he's somebody that
affects everything. This is your cousin who you bring around is one of those dudes that affects
everything, right? So now I'm going to lay off, dude. I wash my hands of your cousin so i'm gonna go put up what
i put up in a hefty way and i don't need a spot dude thank you for all the knowledge but i ain't
coming around your cousin yeah yeah yeah and also it's good to let him know his cousin sucks he
should know that yeah i mean you don't have to say your cousin sucks but like to be like yo bro
that guy is not for like calvin goes like this the other day i was like he i was like hey buddy you want me to help you with that and he said no
and i said what about teamwork and he said he said teamwork he said teamwork is not for me
dude that's a hundred percent your cousin is not for me yeah take that calvin mentality yeah so yeah that's uh wow hi chris and matt um love the
love the podcast i'm trying to be fast because i just found out i have to do a minute long
or under um but i have this guy friend at work um and he has a girlfriend that's really jealous of
me oh boy and this girlfriend's mom also works where i work whoa and like since so they they all work together but the girlfriend
just quit and the guy just became friends with me so now we're friends but then the mom of the girl
has been like spying on us and telling her daughter hey they're like flirting and hanging
out 24 7 i could care less like i literally don't care to be friends with him i'm just friends with
him and that's hilarious like i don't hang out like alone with him yeah and so basically
so she's been messaging me saying i'm shady and to never talk to them again and the mom
she doesn't like her boyfriend having friends at all like Like, she's in control of him. But anyway, I just want advice on how to, like, do I stop being friends with him?
Or do I just say fuck it and just lean into it, you know, and just say screw it.
Like, I don't care what she says and just, because I don't like that she can control his life, you know.
Anyway, that's my question.
I love you guys.
Bye.
Aw, sweetie.
Here's the two options.
Just fucking block her
and then do whatever you want
and who cares
about this fucking asshole?
That's the third option.
That's cool.
Go to HR, dude.
If you all work together
and somebody's making it
uncomfortable for you,
you can go fucking tell them, dude.
You can go tell them.
Yeah, but then you're kind of
like the neighbor
calling the cops.
Okay, but I mean, what's option two what's option option two is fucking spit all over his cock oh
my god don't do that 100 don't do that why not dude you want troubles let's make waves baby babes baby no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no forget it like that's so annoying oh well you know what i'm gonna do if you're gonna keep telling me
that i'm trouble i'm gonna turn around in front of your boyfriend and show you what trouble is
young young young runk runk dude
dude a rock away ha lean back lean back that's her afterwards wiping up okay okay that's so
annoying dude people are so annoying that's true that is extremely particularly annoying
um block that fucking idiot and never ever think about her again.
And fucking the mom,
the mom is the most depressing.
Fuck the husband or the mom, dude.
The mom is the most depressing human alive. I know.
Oh, really, dude?
Where's your husband at?
Show up at Target
while he's getting shit for the family.
Yonk.
Da-da-da-na-da-na.
Yonk.
Da-da-da-na-da-na.
A samurai.
A samurai.
Da-da-da-na-da-na. Yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk-yonk- A samurai. A samurai.
So uncomfortable to get head that way.
Yonk.
Get in there, dude.
Why lean back?
It's gangster.
Oh, okay. That's what Fat Joe does
during Lean Back
you could do that
you could also
block the woman
and not do that
because
she's not into the guy
so
sucking his dick
and fucking him
a lot
wouldn't
be beneficial
to her life
Lean Back
runk wouldn't be beneficial to her life. Lean back.
Runk.
Dude, that song's so fucking stupid.
It is, yeah. You know, dude?
Do the rock away.
Yeah.
Well, I'm sweating after that, dude.
Yeah, I'm sweating too.
I just, it's like, just everybody fucking relax, dude.
Everybody relax.
There's so many fucking crazy people in the world.
You know what's interesting about people?
People make everything worse, dude. Everybody relax. There's so many fucking crazy people in the world. You know what's interesting about people? People make everything worse, dude.
Everybody makes everything worse.
Everything that they're afraid of, they make it fucking come true.
I know.
Everything that they don't want to happen, they make sure it fucking happens.
This fucking idiot woman is making everything that she's afraid of, everything bad that
she doesn't want to have happen, make it way more likely to happen.
Exactly.
Nothing would happen ever if if if this
fucking if they just left it a fucking long but some fucking asshole and her mom gotta fucking
stir some shit up and then runk yeah runk it's gonna be fucking deep throat central if you don't
calm down stop dming man yeah i mean dming saying she's shady that's that's like the most fucking
trashy i'm shady dude i haven't done
shit this girl obviously doesn't give a fuck i know she didn't even give a fuck she didn't
want to be friends with the guy she's not i know dude they're gonna fucking runk it up dude yeah
runk runk it up for real bro runk runk it up pump it up oh i wish i did it with that song instead
that would have been way better well lean back what song is that pump it up by Oh, I wish I did it with that song instead. That would have been way better.
Well, Lean Back was good.
What song is that?
Pump It Up by Joe Budden.
The only good song that Joe Budden ever had.
And he talks so much shit about fucking rappers.
It's ridiculous.
Okay.
He's a hater, but we love him though.
He's got a great podcast.
I'll tell you that much.
Okay.
Do you guys want to do more?
I don't know.
I guess we could be done.
I don't ever want to feel
Thank you very much.
Like I did that day.
Take me to the place I love.
Take me all the way.
Wow, that went with it.
Take me to the place I love.
Take me all the way.
A car.
A car.
A car that drove by.
Dude, my nose hurts.
Thanks, everybody.
Thanks, everybody.
We love you.
Well, hold on.
We're not going out yet.
We got to figure out where I'm going to be.
I'm in Dallas.
All right.
Well, in the meantime, if you have a fucking question like these beautiful people who called in,
click on the link in the description below or just go straight to watchlifeline.com.
So now what's going to happen is everyone's going to click out of it and they're not going to know where I'm going to be.
And that's going to be bullshit because you already did the fucking thing.
But I will be in Dallas.
Let's runk it up.
I'll be in fucking Wichita.
Let's runk it up.
I'll be in Atlanta.
Let's runk it up.
I'll be in fucking Albany, right?
Albany.
Yeah.
I'll be in Boston.
Runk, runk, runk.
Let's be in fucking Lakeland. I'll be there. I'll be in Boston. Runk, runk, runk. Let's be in fucking Lakeland.
I'll be there.
I'll be in,
where else?
Let's see.
Runk City?
You'll be in Runk City?
It didn't even come up.
The internet isn't working.
Hey, yes, dude.
Washington, D.C.
Runk it up.
Just a whole bunch of cities.
ChrisLea.com
and we got the new colorway,
the Life Rips colorway
that came out.
It's absolutely periwinkle.
He's on his periwinkle shit.
It's absolutely ridiculous. We got fucking merch coming out soon, too.
We do have merch coming out, actually.
We have Lifeline merch coming out, and you guys are going to like it a lot.
It's sick.
Yeah.
So thanks very much for listening, and you guys are great.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.