Lifeline - 18. The Blastage Zone
Episode Date: August 8, 2022🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 👉Thank you adamandeve.com. Get 50% off and free shippin...g with our code: LIFELINE 👉Thank you Betterhelp. Get 10% off your first month by going to betterhelp.com/lifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. In today's episode, we talk about getting people's over-texting under control, horrible pet nicknames, moving on after tragedy, and a friend and family relationship drama that Chris can't grasp. 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 More LIFELINE: 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline 💃 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hello.
Hello.
Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. do it live so we always have robot this robot we always have this we do this podcast we've
been doing it we're almost we're almost wow fucking it up so hard episodes in and uh look man yeah you have often have too many
drinks this is really really where you jump the shark there's too many fucking drinks on the table
it's good because i don't have to get up if i want to drink there's milk on the table when's
the last time you fucking drank a glass of milk years okay so you don't need milk you've also
it's fucking i don't two percent i don't even's fucking 2% milk. I don't even use milk in my coffee.
I don't milk using my coffee.
I don't milk using my coffee.
So I'll put the milk down.
Yeah, and we'll get rid of a lot of these cans.
People can't see my coffee, which I also have.
You know what they can see?
What's up?
We told you, we promised, and it's true.
Look at this.
We've got the Lifeline merch finally out.
If you are a fan of the show, if you support the show,
you know the spin move mentality
we got the hoodie here we got the t-shirt here we want to show you the back that's where we
hung it up right here this is what the back of the hoodie looks like check it out matt's
well we they already see the back of the hoodie that's the whole reason why we did this okay but
they can't hear you now right because of your talking but when it's on you it's different but
this is why i did it like i pulled the muscle so uh and then we got these two we got the hoodie version and the uh let's try to not have this mess up the actual paint
okay there we go and we're good but also show them the back of yours i'm gonna i'm gonna show
them okay we'll do it faster um so we have that we have the thing and then we have this this is
my favorite though dude that might be my favorite too look how sick that
is that's fucking bad about it it's cool dude and it's so hot in the studio so we'll probably end up
taking these off yeah it's actually so hot on it but uh you can check out how nice it is before i
do that yeah we yeah and it's where do you get them where do we get them mine lifeline merch.com
lifeline merch.com you can find it out on my instagram bio and all that
stuff you can go in there but you can find it find it you know what how about this find it
all right find it if you want it so bad fucking find it lifeline we're here and uh so that's
what's up and we're excited about it it's been a long process we wanted to get the designs down
because we didn't want it to just be some shitty shintzy shit and uh i'll tell you what usually
when you know i'm a part of designing any kind of merch i
i land on the thing that we agree on and then i'm stoked about it and then it comes and it's like
80 as good as i thought it would be this is like exceeds my expectations here's the deal looks good
and the reason why it took so long is because matt wasn't sure the whole time and then when
we fucking delivered i said matt just trust me we did it and now fucking okay but i like to think the way i did it
right it's good had us making sure that it was going to be great all right well we're chilling
we're having a good time here uh we're downtown la that's where we do it and we were in downtown
la and i stopped to get a fucking coffee bean and tea leaf you know how i do and um i uh i got down
to the i got down to the coffee bean tea leaf i saw about three people on the street and when i
saw them they all said hi to me and that's very weird and the only thing i know about that so
here's the thing if somebody says hi to you you're walking down the street anywhere yeah then nice
people right if you're downtown la that's how you know they're crazy yeah i mean
everybody's crazy downtown la now no but it's sad though it's actually sad it's definitely sad
it's also it's just fucking it's never ending so like you get sort of jaded by it anybody that
asks you for anything you're just like nah nah right nah whereas normally you i at least i am
open to giving people shit but every fucking half block somebody's coming
up asking me for something usually an autograph usually a picture with me in it no no usually
fucking whatever a kiss on the forehead wow the fucking pope yeah yeah i'm the pope speaking of
the pope i've been watching the tutors why are you clapping about you watching i've been watching
the tutors i saw fucking five episodes in two nights and how is it does kristin like it she watched the beginning of the first episode and then was on tiktok and
then went to bed and then the second night she didn't want to do it because she went to bed
now i'm pissed dude but it's all good i did fucking spin move back downstairs watch the
whole thing and i'm down to fucking watch it and watch it instead
of her watch it with her i'll watch it with a friend wow you watched the tutors with a friend
dude you have mental problems well no it's good you know why it's good and i will tell you this
okay here's the deal i get it's not very it's not as thought-provoking as a show like that should be. Okay. But I wondered why...
It's just...
It's watchable.
First of all, the guy, Jonathan...
Is it Jonathan Rhys-Myers?
Jonathan Rhys-Myers, yeah.
He is so obviously not Henry VIII.
It's unbelievable.
And I heard that he was like,
I'm going to do the part
and then wouldn't put on the fat suit
and wouldn't dye his hair.
Oh, dude, I hate that.
Which sucks.
But also, it's like,
who cares if they look like the
people in history i guess it adds to it you agree no i fully agree oh you do fully agree that it
doesn't matter what they look like when people get so caught up in like with ray with jamie
fox everyone's like he looks just like him anthony hopkins and nixon he looks just like him who
gives a fuck they're acting i know me i know suspend your fucking disbelief exactly exactly
let me play richard nixon i'm not a crook the other thing i hate though is the is when when there's like a
let's say it's in uh an american movie but it takes place in france and all the american or
english actors do a fucking french accent 100 agree with that 100 just either do it in french or don't fucking bother do it in
french honestly or honestly no accent yeah or even just pick an accent i don't give a fuck
it's better than just they didn't speak in french accents they speak they spoke in french
be a fucking boston dude yeah and be like oh i think that the tiger got him yeah that would be
good yeah like in fucking gladiator if it was just like some dude that was just like oh i think that the tiger got him yeah that would be good yeah like in fucking
gladiator if it was just like some dude that was just like oh from fargo right yeah that'd be good
too oh oh oh one of the gladiators died so any accent as long as it's not the place where they're
actually like taking place yeah like do like be joaquin phoenix and go like this when you want to kill a guy. Do that.
Okay.
Do that.
Oh, no.
Oh, he died.
Right.
Okay.
Oh, no.
That's like an Armenian person from Minnesota. No, no, no.
It's from Fargo.
I know.
If you didn't call me off before I finished, it's an Armenian guy from Minnesota.
It's not though.
Okay.
It's just a guy from Minnesota.
Oh, okay.
There's no Armenians in Minnesota and everyone knows that.
That's why what I said was so good.
I get it. But anyway, what I said was so good.
I get it.
But anyway, so I watched the Tudors and the only reason why I watched that show is because
Eric Griffin keeps telling me about this scene where there's a guy whose job it is to catch,
how do we not get fucking age restricted for this or demonetized, catch the king's um spillage when he oh
yeah and he just sits there with a when he does the cum job thing and he goes like this and then
over he goes like this and he goes like this and folds it and he leaves that's his whole role
that's his job worst role worst acting real role of all time you know oh yeah i was in the tutors i played uh jonathan
reese myers's fucking cum jobby collector and uh come jobby dude it was a great experience uh yeah
oh wow dude that's amazing just just this and it shows it shows you it like one one it shows one
thing where you play the neighbor and according to jim right and then one thing where you're just like and then a doritos commercial and jonathan reese and then jonathan
reese myers was like and you're just like thank you sir thank you sir and the next thing is a
doritos commercial where the bag is like spitting and shit and you catch it yeah yeah yeah oh wow
best fucking acting reel of all time yeah so um so yeah i'm watching the tutors
and i'm fucking hell into it dude i mean i'm into it i can't believe you're into that you're always
into shit that's like really dumb for dumb people i know but i but i i think that it's actually like
because here's the thing when television or movies try to be too smart i'm fucking out that's for
dumb people i think i think this is a better version of game of thrones there i said it but it's not similar the tutors is based in a true story and if there's
no dragons and shit i know that's why why are you comparing them because it is the same kind of they
walk they walk the same and they talk the same and shit okay and they yell at the same times
okay how many episodes of fucking each other how many episodes of game of thrones have you seen
three seasons really yep guess how many dragons i've seen you just like one
you just dropped a fucking bomb yeah dude i dropped bombs man didn't expect that so um
well by the way i was walking downtown before we get into it i was walking downtown just today
and another guy one of the guys who said hi another dude walked by me and he was walking
by and i was paying the parking meter and he looked at me and he just he looks at me and he says i'm innocent and kept walking that reminds me i used when i
used to live in new york i was chilling at fucking washington square park and i was just reading a
book guy comes up to me he's like kind of nervous you know where this is going no i think he knows
this story but yeah yeah uh he walks up to me and he's like, he's just like, hey.
And he's kind of like nervous to me.
He goes, hey.
And he kind of stumbles on his words.
And then he stops stumbling on his words and he finally says, I have AIDS.
Oh, yeah.
You told me that.
And I was just like, oh, that's not a good icebreaker.
You know what I mean?
So I have AIDS.
Can I have some change?
All good that you have AIDS, but don't leave me with that.
What was he trying to do?
So I have AIDS.
I was wondering if you have representation I'm an agent in Hollywood
um no I think you just I if I remember correctly I mean that kind of is all I remember
but uh I think you wanted uh and we dated for a few months and that was that yeah so all right
so you have too many drinks and I'm dripped out in gold and it's all good dude well it's hot right
I know so um all right let's do you want to get into the show or what sure
we'll get into the show go to get your lifeline merch we got it all we wore it and we you saw
mentality uh comfy too all right cool matt comfy a reggae artist
luke here from the uk i love the podcast and chris i love your podcast as well
so i just wanted a bit of advice on me and my partner
we're emigrating to Australia in a couple months but in the meantime we're moving back into my
parents and she lives with my sister and I just wanted a bit of advice really you know how we
carry on doing the horizontal with them two in the house There was one time when I first brought my partner back,
I left my belt on the floor and I had to make up some story.
My mum fell for it because, you know,
your boy's got acting in his corner.
It looks like it.
So, yeah, just a bit of advice on how we keep it moving in the old parents.
Thanks, guys.
David Brent.
Well, I think...
Jesus, man.
Save the blasting for when your parents are gone, if possible.
And if you can't...
If they don't leave, if there's no blastage possible...
Save the blasting.
When you...
If there's no blastage possible when they're gone, right?
A professor.
I think that what you need to do is have is have the the quiet blastage where it's
like you kind of just like wow tight-lipped making sure it's just like the efforts are contained
and you're just doing it slow you're not banging the bed against the wall right because that's a
big one you're trying to do the quiet blast the bed out from the wall yeah in the middle of the
room yeah only fuck in the middle of the room. Yeah, only fuck in the middle of the room. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
If that's the floor, that's the floor.
If it's the ottoman, that's the ottoman.
And don't leave your belt on the ground.
So here we have save the blastage right here.
We've saved the blastage for when the parents are gone.
If the parents are here, we're going to do quiet blastage.
Worst professor of all time.
Jet propulsion laboratories.
Yeah, dude, I think that there's a lot of crazy cool places to do blastage though
you could do car blastage you could do fucking yeah actually get a motel are there motels in
britain i don't know try to do the blastage outside the house if they're always at the house
you know yeah illegal but yeah or watch like if you have a tv in your own room watch it real loud
right right but don't watch sex scenes because then it'll sound like it's...
No, watch like fucking Saving Private Ryan, you know?
Wow.
Sad blastage.
Right, right, right, right.
Oh, is that the same guy that he shot him in the first place?
Oh!
Wait, you're kidding me.
He let him live and then he shot him?
What?
That's crazy.
It came back around.
Oh!
Oh, this is my favorite part when the guy stabs him
when he's laying right over him
and looks him right in the eye.
Oh, dude, imagine saying that.
Yeah.
Wait a minute,
is that Vin Diesel?
That's the guy from Fast and Furious.
Hello, here he comes.
Just a minute, Mum.
No, Mum,
we're just watching
Saving Private Ryan.
Oh, that guy's looking
for his arm, isn't he? So, yeah, dude,yan oh that guy's looking for his arm isn't he
um so yeah dude i think that that's what you do you save the blastage for when the parents
ain't home because the parents gotta leave the parents gotta leave don't they they do sometimes
well i mean yeah i mean i guess if they're old which they probably are because he's not it's
not like he's you know he's i mean he's obviously at least in his late 20s they're below 75 based
on the way he looks.
But when they get older and older, the parents stay there.
But the good thing about that is they lose their hearing.
So they lose their hearing and then blast away.
But also, you're an adult.
So you reserve the right to participate in blastage whenever you want.
Here's the other thing, too.
You cannot get kicked out because you're already moving anyway.
So you can pretty much do what you want.
Right.
And if they say, we don't want you to be blasting in here.
We don't care if you're listening to fucking Saving Private Ryan.
It's absolutely manzu.
And then they'll be like, well, mom, guess what?
We're moving to Australia anyway.
Come on, partner.
Let's go back in.
Yeah.
Let's watch fucking whatever that movie is with Paul Rudd and Tom Hanks.
What's that?
The fucking, the one that came out,
the spy one that came out recently.
Bridge of Spies?
Maybe.
Yeah.
Tom Hank and Paul Rudd.
Tom Hank, you know?
Tom Hank is in it.
Tom Hank?
Paul Rudd's? Because only one of them is in it.
Tom Hank.
Not all the Tom Hanks.
So, all right, cool.
All right, yeah.
Okay, cool.
We got it.
We figured it out.
Thanks, Tom.
Here we go.
What's up, Matt? What's up, Chris chris jack coming to you from chicago nice hoodie um looking flying the life rips hoodie
oh yes got a question for you so i've been seeing this guy i'm a gay baby and i've been seeing this
guy and we've been on like five or six dates we always have fun on the date he's dope i want to
see where it goes yeah but he's starting to become a bit of an excessive texter like i'm getting a text right when i wake up i'm getting
a text at 11 a.m i'm getting a text at 2 p.m 5 p.m and it's like i work full time i kind of got to
stay focused during the day and also i just like want to not talk sometimes yeah of course so how
do i break it to him that i like him but you know i i can't be doing this all day texting let me know
i know how to do it i know how to do it just say you don't even need to say that say uh
sometimes i can't text even if i want to i'm at work i don't see the text or i have to read it
and then respond later so you can be like you can make you can frame it like you don't mind the barrage of texts
but you are letting him know
he won't be able to respond
all the time.
So you're not making it
personal to him,
you're making it about you
and how often you're available
to text back.
I have a great idea.
Oh boy,
I can already tell.
I can already tell,
it's a bad one.
No, it's not.
If I ever had a good idea,
a lot of times we do silly shit
but this is for real, bro. I think I have a good idea. You're known as a guy who had a good idea a lot of times we do silly shit but this is for real bro
i think i have a good idea you're known as a guy who gives a good advice whatever quote unquote
vomit but like wow so rude put your red receipt read read read whatever it is red receipts put
your red receipts on for him okay this way he knows when you see the text okay and tell him listen i can't always respond
you know you text a bunch if that's your thing i'm not always going to be responding because
i have to work yeah right yeah and i'm obviously the fucking you know you're acting like a girl i
know you're a guy but you're acting like a girl right but don't say that it's a head trip okay
but but i'm gonna put my red receipts on.
So you know when I get the...
This is out of respect.
You know I got it, I saw it, and I will respond when I can.
Putting on the red receipts is going to change the dynamic of it.
How? I don't understand how.
Because the guy's going to fucking see that he sent it and that he read it,
and he's going to get used to the fact that the guy doesn't respond as soon as he sees it.
And then he's going to... Because, dude, I i mean i respond to people sometimes fucking eight hours later oh dude i am so bad i will sometimes just not respond until they text
me again then i'll be like oh right you texted me before like dude i'm so bad at it also you could
just have a conversation and be like dude the greatest thing about being gay is we don't have to deal
with shit like this you're being a straight girl guys don't give a fuck dude i'm gonna i'm a dude
and guess what we're we're we're chilling we're gay we're missing out by you texting me all the
time we're missing out on the best part of being gay not having to deal with the woman yeah well right that's super sounds really
misogynist in the negative way women are great obviously okay but in the negative ways that
women are and a lot of fucking men are negative in a lot of ways but we're not talking about that
right now we're talking about right now you're acting like a woman right the best part of being
gay is i don't have to talk when i don't want to dude we can just chill okay and fucking hang out
watch saving private ryan or whatever it is and not have to talk to each don't want to do it we can just chill okay and fucking hang out watch saving
private ryan or whatever it is and not have to talk to each other bro what if this is a guy who
leans more to the feminine in that way obviously there are many men like that yeah but then he's
got to find another dude that's going to be more that's not a fucking deal breaker is it texting a
lot just be like look i don't text that much that's it okay if the other guy deals with it
nice then good well that's what i'm saying then's on him. If he has a problem with that,
then fucking,
that's a weird problem to have.
If you're going to be gay,
you need to be all the way gay
and still be a dude
and also fucking be able to be like,
look,
dude,
we're bros.
At the end of the day,
we're bros.
Now,
you know what I mean?
Whether you're top or bottom,
it's all good.
Maybe sometimes I'm top,
sometimes I'm bottom.
Maybe we mix it up.
Whatever it is,
I don't know what your kink is,
but one of the fucking things that's a pro about being fucking gay is that we're dudes and we don't have to
fucking do this shit all the time right yeah we don't have to do this shit all the time yeah yeah
okay well there you have it yes got out of that who's a handsome guy that guy yeah it was a good
looking guy i'm sure the fucking boyfriend is a good looking too okay what do you guys think about um do not disturb thing in general on the iphone thing i have almost every single person i know
on do not disturb yeah but that's still i never get alerts on my phone anymore i have to look at
my phone to get a text that's good you know uh but no that still doesn't save i mean he could
say i have my shit on do not disturb i think you should let the guy know all the reasons why he doesn't,
not that he doesn't want to text.
He should frame it as he doesn't see texts.
He's not good at texting.
It takes him a while to get back to certain texts, all that shit.
Everything's short of you text too much and stop it.
I also sometimes get like, I'll wake up in the morning,
I'll get eight texts and I'll check them because I'm hazy and foggy.
I don't even remember that I got them.
You do that too?
Yeah, absolutely.
I always have more than eight because I'm really popular, but yeah.
No, but I have eight because I only sleep for like an hour.
I'll sleep for an hour and I'll wake up, I'll have eight.
But if I sleep for eight hours, I'll have almost 250.
Yeah, I'll have like 260.
I have like 300, I think.
Like 310 or something like that.
I think I have about 380.
I'm honestly about 400 texts every morning.
I think I've had, there's been a bunch of times where I've had about 380. I'm honestly about 400 texts every morning. I think I've had,
there's been a bunch of times
where I've had 1,000.
I'll have like 2,000 or 3,000.
All right, next one, dude.
You want to read it?
Okay.
I mean, you know, robots.
I, female, 21.
Oh, okay.
I, F21, and my boyfriend, M21. I, female, 21. Oh, okay. I, F21, and my boyfriend, M21.
I, female, 21 years old, and my boyfriend, male, 21 years old, currently live together
and have been together for about four months.
To explain why we are living together at the four-month mark-
That's quick.
We started out as roommates, but then started dating.
Oh, my God.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
I have to say, my boyfriend has never been good at pet names.
Oh, boy.
Some early ones were Little Stubster.
Little Stubster.
That sounds like a fucking...
Honestly, that sounds like a sitcom in the 80s with one of those short black dudes that never grew up.
And Sour Meat.
Dude, this guy needs to get his head checked.
Ew, hi, Sour Meat.
That's just like a straight-up boner killer.
Why would you do that?
Oh, man, Sour Meat. One of my nicknames for him in comparison is Little Bird. That's a cute one. I mean, so sweet. ew hi sour meat that's just like a straight up boner killer why would you do that oh man sour meat
one of my nicknames
for him in comparison
is little bird
that's a cute one
so sweet
yeah yeah little bird
hi sour meat
hey little bird
hey shit fuck
mcgillicuddy
anyway about two weeks
ago he starts
calling me
tony pizza
tony pizza
dude the guy
are you dating
what
this doesn't even
this doesn't even...
This doesn't even make sense
and he uses it more often
than my actual name.
This guy is an alien
masquerading as a human being.
He is obsessed.
Pet names like
Tony Pizza
and Sour Meat
and also Little Substar.
Go.
It honestly bothers me
that he can't even bother
to find a somewhat
nice nickname for me.
I have had a couple
of conversations with him
about it,
but he says he just can't
think of anything better? What do I do? Is this going to become a bigger problem or should i even address
it i hate being tony pizza dude i would i would hate being tony pizza too you know at the best i
would love being tony pizza dude are you shitting if your name was tony pizza krista was calling
you tony pizza as a pet name come on i don't know man it's kind of weird your name was tony pizza that's cool but this is a pet
name like a term of endearment from your loved one no dude no no if you're having sex with someone
and all of a sudden you're like yo i'm tony pizza right you can say it about yourself but imagine a
woman saying it to you hey come on down to tony pizza's jeweler okay hey come on down by the way
you know the best part about this is he used to eat as a kid Tony's pizza.
Remember Tony's pizza?
Yeah, he definitely has that.
And that's why he's getting that.
And he's calling her Tony Pizza because when he was a kid, he would eat Tony's pizza.
An association with it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What I think is you absolutely have to address it.
You have to say, look, the names you have for me are fucking disgusting.
And they make me feel disgusting.
And you're stupid if you
think they're good wow you can't think of anything else other than little stubster such a fucking
fucking sad meat or whatever sour meat sad meat would be better yeah sad meat sad meat would be
way better sour meat is only disgusting dude this guy sucks dude break up with him i want to know who this guy is very
badly also he's 21 to be fucking 21 and have that this guy's creative as shit honestly to be able to
do that i mean dude little little stubster is one thing that's just sour meat is incredible
but tony pizza is the most unreal fucking name to the... Remember when we had the fucking...
Remember when you had the stupid...
What do you play?
The fucking baseball?
Yeah, baseball.
The stupid fucking...
No, the...
What?
On virtual baseball.
What the fuck do you call it?
Oh, oh, oh.
What's that called?
You do it every day.
You do it every day.
Fantasy baseball.
Fantasy baseball.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tommy Sandwich.
Tommy Sandwich.
Remember that?
I do remember Tommy Sandwich.
Because I said...
Because I was saying like kevin bacon
is like basic that's the word his last name is bacon just the first name and a food pizza yeah
so wait hold on first let's go in order little stubster is fucking rude no straight up but
straight up it's rude there is an argument that little stubster is kind of cute in a way
there's an argument it's like calling somebody little chubby boy little Stubster is kind of cute in a way. There's an argument.
It's like calling somebody little chubby boy.
Little chubby girl.
That's kind of cute.
No, dude.
Okay.
Anyway, sour meat is just like.
Yeah.
Sour meat is like a bad guy in the fucking comic book.
Dick Tracy.
Spawn.
I said spawn.
Okay.
So I was saying it's something a little slightly better, but it's okay.
That's good.
So then Tony Pizza.
Oh, no.
It's sour meat.
Yeah.
In a vacuum, but it's okay. No, it's okay. So then Tony Pizza. Oh, no, it's sour meat. Yeah, Dick Tracy.
In a vacuum, Tony Pizza is fine.
But as a pet name for your fucking girl?
Tony Pizza.
Tony Pizza, dude.
Would also be Dick.
These are all Dick Tracy.
Honestly, these are all Dick Tracy backers.
Yeah, yeah.
Little Stubster, fucking sour meat, and Tony Pizza.
Dude, this guy is honestly just a big Dick Tracy fan.
Yes.
And we just figured it out.
Yeah.
This is unbelievable.
Just bring it up to him and be like, yo yo what the fuck is with your naming capabilities right we ever have kids and you you're gonna name what are you gonna name them dude right
astronaut cosmonaut right right right like you gotta fucking figure out the the the right
this is alarming dude i agree call me little teddy bear call me fucking you know what i mean
just starship troopers call me anything but fucking i love how he says he just can't think of anything better go online you fucking idiot
he's just lazy dude we don't hope he does it during sex break up with him i hope he does it
during sex i'm i firmly believe break up with him no yes dude this guy's a creative guy this is the
kind of guy who will sell a company for a billion dollars and fucking fucking in 15 years ted bundy
was creative call him ted bundy Call him Ted Bundy. Call him
Ted Bundy. Yeah, actually
you know what? Yeah, think of a better way to do it. That's it.
Throw it back in his face by calling him
really shitty stuff. Tip for tat. Like smelly
armpit. Yeah, small dick. Hey,
small dick. Hey, small dick Johnson.
Small dick McGee. Okay.
Smelly armpit Johnson. Wow. Yeah.
Hey, stinky shithole.
Stinky shithole. Alrightithole all right guy this podcast has
gone off the rails what's the next one hey christopher and matthew my name is adelaide
and i am a huge fan so i want to start with that um but i wanted to ask you guys a question
so i'm super mixed always have been always will be and i've always had a problem with how people address that
though oh i'm consistently walked up to and asked things like what are you or where are you from or
what are you mixed with so i guess my question is like how do you respond to people like that
this is a daily thing for me so any help appreciated okay have a good one i think for me
whenever somebody asks me where i'm
from or like what my ethnicity is i honestly find those conversations so boring that i think maybe
a good thing to do is just say like like ask do do what happens there hey what's going on where
are you what are you boring but okay you're boring me oh wow yeah are you black or white boring me oh and it'll stop
yeah that's really i mean it'll stop um i have to be i have to be honest so when i saw her i
thought wow she's like the most 50 white and 50 black like you remember that seinfeld episode
where they couldn't tell if the person was white or black no actually and they were like we don't
know what it is that's what george is like i can't tell fucking what the fuck he is you know this
is exactly what's every episode you know she can't yeah yeah but she yeah and she even she's not doing
herself any favors by having a the blonde the hair blonde but that's okay though do what you want live
your truth but what is your truth but that's what people want to know but they don't deserve to know
that whoops right okay but they don't deserve to know that unless she i don't know is it a weird thing to be like where are you from
it's annoying it is annoying because you know here's the thing when i saw her i thought
wow i wonder what she is oh you did yeah i did yeah did you no it was the first thing i thought
but then i immediately thought she probably gets that all the time yeah so i would not ask her that
at least from john yeah you never ask somebody that here the deal. You never ask somebody something that is clear.
They get asked it all the time.
Right?
Like for me, like, dude, how big must your dick be?
No, that doesn't.
They do do that though.
That doesn't happen at all.
Yeah, they say like, dude, does it weigh down on your test?
They go, does it weigh down on your test goals?
And in the first time when I was like, what do you mean?
Oh my.
And they say, because you're obviously.
And I go, okay, yeah.
Right?
That's most conversations
how they start for me i'm gonna i don't think that happens but it's okay you're not anything
that get the anything that anything that's obviously asked of someone a lot yes is going
to annoy them if you also ask it curb your fucking curiosity because we all know that what the truth
is people ask because they want to fill
the fucking air they don't actually give a fuck really the worst they're not going to remember
when they walk away so why ask the annoying thing just don't fucking ask that in general people stop
asking people that it's so boring and annoying who's excited to be like ah yes somebody asked
me about my info white black and a little bit mex. Then you got to tell them like it's not.
Nobody likes that.
You guys, they say, what is, where, what are you from?
What's the question she gets?
What are you?
And then she says, what's your favorite movie?
And they say, oh, and they answer.
And they say, good.
Now we're both boring.
Spin out.
Yeah, that's good.
Now we're both boring.
You need to match your boringness.
Spin move.
And so I think that, yeah yeah i don't know man but yeah
i think that it's just really good it's one of you know what dude it is it's one of those things
you got to just fucking sometimes charge to the game though right meaning well like it's just like
the your thing it's gonna suck man it's just one of those things you got to charge it to the game
that's game tax yeah or i guess you could to answer and just be so clearly annoyed by it.
Yeah, exactly, dude.
Exactly what I was thinking.
I'm mixed.
I'm white and black.
My mom was white.
My dad was black because it's never obviously the other way around, but yeah.
And then say, you happy now?
Like that.
Yeah, are you happy now?
Yeah.
You know?
I think that uh yeah i mean
that's what i do when people are like dude is the top you know does that is the top of your
penis is no no but they're like is it often raw and red and i'm like why in the first beginning
i was like why and they're like because when you walk forward obviously the top of it drags on the
ground behind you and i go no it's not actually i you know i make sure that i fucking scoop it around
my leg and i tie mine up so it's not facing up right and so they're like wow and then i go yeah
and so that's how i that's how i combat that question but i still go like this when they go
like this is your the top of your and i go right i wrap and i cut them off as i wrap it around my
leg and they go oh okay okay okay okay it's all good man and that's just not what they were gonna ask you and shit
is the top is that i wrap my dick around my leg i was gonna ask you if the top floor is 10 or 11
all right cool here we go let's do it chris wow what's up my babies going skydiving my girlfriend
and i mean what the fuck is he wearing my wife now in a straight jacket couldn't get his belt off together for four years i mean we used to have sex half wearing
everything look at his fucking look at his headphones dude only one of them is on his it
would be like his fucking glasses are like this hey what's up one leg in his shorts hey what's up? One leg in his shorts. Hey, what's up, man? My question is kind of obvious. How do you wear stuff?
All right, go ahead.
Every day.
I'm sure that's however your relationship goes.
His hat isn't even on right.
I know.
Like once a month.
He's talking about having sex.
Okay. I know that's irregular for any young couple but it seems to me like
she's falling out of sexual attraction so comfortable talking about anything this guy
yeah i want to know what you might think of what that reason is the most comfortable guy the reason for that right about anything oh
he's the shit this guy's the shit oh my god i've never seen somebody more comfortable in his own
skin talking about anything because he's talking about his sex life and he's on like they were
they were like his friend was like do you want to blur your face out and he literally goes like this
why would i do that yeah right yeah
but the thing is that she's on the rest of your clothes what do you mean i'm putting a half of it
it's definitely not that she's not attracting you anymore because the way you are being is
so attractive literally you could be a fucking one yeah this guy cleans it up yeah if you're
if you're that confident it just doesn't matter what you look like uh but let's say that you need to know the
answer i think they're just like most things there's a way to ask that without being like
hey why don't you want to fuck anymore for instance right how do you uh like is there
something i could be doing more like i feel like we used to have more sex is our passion dwindling if it is what can i
do sort of like recharge it like what what are the things that you need uh and then once the
conversation is going your partner will eventually tell you the deal you know like if you make it a
safe place for her to say whatever she will tell you the thing if they're look it's totally possible
that it's nothing her sex drive just has waned there's nothing to do with him yeah but like if it if there is an
underlying reason that uh she's sort of nervous about sharing i think opening up a space like
that communication that kind of shit she'll be able to have a safe zone to say that shit
oh man that's incredible i just can't believe how i honestly think that that guy's
the most comfortable guy i've ever seen in my life he's comfortable he would just walk up to
his wife and just be like in front of her family why don't we doink doink why don't we doink why
don't we have sex here here's the deal i don't know if you guys know but uh we don't have sex much wow um
hey mom at thanksgiving hey hey her mom and hey her dad yeah anyway could you pass the gravy
maybe once a month it's all good but pass me half the gravy i'll only use half what what what do you
what is your advice dude you i mean here's i have advice which is similar to yours but i also think that this
kind of stuff just comes and goes in waves like i have a lot of old friends that have been married
for a long time and they're like yeah sometimes you go a year and it's not good sometimes you go
two years it's not good sometimes you go a month it's not good but then you go and you have like
a string of fucking months or a year that's just great it's true you know it's part of commitment
it's part of being with somebody it's part of uh marriage you know and uh and i just think that right now
you're in one of those moments you know sometimes the shirt's half on you know as they say as john
lennon said john lennon said sometimes your hat's tipping off the back of your head and you're only
wearing one headphone yeah the headphones thing was what did it also what was around your chest
also where was he it was
like i think he fell out of a plane hit the ground and immediately started recording the video
so my wife it's all good but we don't have sex we have it like once or something a month
so basically what do I do?
And then he stopped recording
and he just goes,
oh my God,
he didn't realize how much pain he's in.
Right, he broke his back, you know?
So wait,
I think the one other thing
I want to say before we move on
is I don't think you should be assuming
without bringing up with her
that it's some kind of attraction level thing.
It's not an attraction level thing.
That is not a good assumption to make.
I'm telling you right now, dude. Okay, but it's not a good assumption to make. No, it's some kind of attraction level thing. It's not an attraction level thing. That is not a good assumption to make. I'm telling you right now, dude.
Okay, but it's not a good assumption to make.
No, it's not good.
It's bad.
It's not good to make any assumptions.
Yes, but that one is specifically bad
because it'll fucking change the way he's acting.
It'll dry her up.
And it'll make him resentful and be fucking weird.
And that'll make it even worse, whatever's going on.
Yeah.
So.
Yeah.
Don't assume
anything honestly ever yeah really yeah okay all right cool
next one next one next one hey guys um my question is is it ever okay to move on
after your spouse passes away my fiance fiance passed away in December and I
get a lot of people telling me that like they hope that I move on and I find somebody else someday.
But like, I just don't feel like that's appropriate. Like his family doesn't get
to replace him. So like what gives me the right? So I'm just wondering like what your take would be.
And if you were in my shoes, what would you do?
Oh, and if you are going to move on, what's the appropriate length of time before you move on?
Thanks.
Here's the deal.
First of all, that's terrible.
And I'm so fucking sorry that that happened.
That's unimaginable.
And just my heart goes out to you and his family.
As far as moving on, I don't think that you should put a hard and fast rule on yourself about that.
If you don't feel like doing it, then you definitely should not.
If you start feeling like doing it, you got to lose this idea that it's inappropriate.
It's not inappropriate unless you feel that deeply on the inside.
But there's no rule that says it's inappropriate until X amount of months or whatever years.
That's just not a fair way to treat yourself.
And I also think that the thing that you mentioned about his family doesn't get to replace him,
but, you know, and so neither should you.
I don't really agree with that because I don't think that, you know, when you have a child,
you have either just that child or more children.
And you're right.
They are irreplaceable as that individual child.
But people all the time get married and divorced, have long relationships that end amicably often. And so I think that you should give yourself the leeway.
he is gone and you are still here. And I think because of that, and I think he would say this too. And I mean, I'm assuming even his family would agree. You deserve to be happy in this
one life that you have. So I don't think you should put some hard and fast rules on yourself
for you're not allowed to, you shouldn't do it. It would be a bad thing to do. It's not a bad thing
to do. If you don't feel like doing it then don't but don't make yourself
not do it because of some rule that you perceive to be some kind of moral code it's don't put that
on yourself it's enough that your fiance has passed away that is plenty don't add to your
troubles yeah don't i mean she's asking when is an appropriate amount of time there is no
appropriate amount of time it's whenever you feel like but i think that like your parents or her their parent who is it their parents
or i think she's talking about his parents yeah yeah i mean it's tough man i mean i i don't know
what the right uh answer for it is i don't imagine it's easy at all i'm really sorry that this happened. I think it's just a slow process that's very, you know, you take your steps as you can and hopefully it feels okay when it does.
And if it does, then that's some sort of a blessing in your life.
You know, I don't think there's any real answer here.
You're right that there's no right answer, but I believe that there is a wrong answer.
And that wrong answer would be that you can absolutely never move on that is
not fair to yourself and again you're you remain you have a life and you need to live it that
doesn't mean get back out there it's time to move on that is bullshit and anyone that's sitting
there telling you you have to move on come on get pull yourself up by the bootstraps get yourself out of bed that's horseshit if it takes you six months 18 months fucking five years it doesn't matter but
at some point if you start to feel like getting back out there and maybe meeting someone do it
absolutely just do it do not hold yourself back because of some perceived morality that you feel
like you need to put on yourself that that's not that to you. And also just objectively, it's not right.
It's not right.
But I get that you would feel that way though.
It's a heartbreak and you're probably emotionally
just fucking crushed and it's going to take a minute,
but don't add to the troubles.
Yeah, that makes me sad.
I don't have much to add to that.
I mean, I don't even know what I would do.
I think it's just...
And I think, sorry, but his family is one thing, but they're going through a different thing. much to add to that i mean i don't even know what i would do i think it's just um and i think you
know sorry but his family is one thing but they're going through a different thing i'm sure there are
online communities of people who have lost romantic intimate partners uh suddenly or not
so suddenly it doesn't matter but before their time you know you're still very young uh so i
think that give yourself all the time that you need, but also maybe seek out
people who have gone through similar things. I know just from personal experience that
obviously this hasn't happened to me, but other things that have been traumatic, finding
other people who have gone through the exact same thing, who understand it in their version,
but understand it in a broader way, maybe hearing their stories or even just like reading
about their stories you don't even need to talk to these people if you don't want to uh could really
sort of help a lot i think yeah you know yeah my heart goes out to you man i'm i'm i'm sorry to hear
that it's brutal but we love you and uh take care of yourself first and foremost
matt you are much better looking than chris okay well i've been running
for years it looks like a way of getting rid of stress and anxiety and like decompressing and like
it's my outlet that's what i do there's this family in my neighborhood that um when they see
me running they turn the little five-year-old loose and little five-year-old tried to come out
of the street and play tag with me when i'm doing my sprints and like i'm not a babysitter like this
has been going on for months i started off really nice about it you know i'd wait for the kid to get tired and try and finish up my run later but
like the kid is like he sticks around for longer and longer now i've let this charade go on for
so long i try to be too nice about it and now i'm at this point where i don't know them i can't set
that boundary because i don't know them but this kid comes out in the middle of street and i'm
babysitting while i'm working out like it's so stupid get out of my stupid face do i need to perform like spin moves or something like do i
need to throw like hot flaming toilet paper balls in there yes i don't know i was gonna say that i
was gonna say that that'd be weird if yeah that would be weird if you were gonna say that i mean
he's running by and they do this he said he's got a workout routine that involves him running
back and forth past his neighbor's house.
And when the five-year-old sees this happen, he is loosed upon this poor guy.
Put him to fucking work.
Get him, you know what I mean?
Working out.
Have him go into your house and take care of, like, do the dishes, make your bed, whatever the fuck.
Like, put this motherfucker to work.
That's so annoying.
It's annoying, yeah.
I mean, like, you know, it's one of those things that's annoying, but it's, like, cute cute so you're like oh fuck but the parents are annoying right yeah but are they watching him because if they're not watching
him then you should have a conversation with the parents and be like yo i'm trying to work out and
i don't know if your kid you know i'm gonna run into your kid i don't want your kid to get hurt
i'm working out you know i push fucking crazy weight you know make up whatever the fuck he said
the parents are setting the kid loose yes exactly so you got to go over there and knock on the door and say hey look your kid's fine i don't
mind him being out here when i am but like obviously it's a fucking free country you do what
you want but you can't leave him with me i don't give a fuck about your kid right and i just want
you to let you know yeah yeah i'm not gonna watch him so if anything bad happens yeah guess whose
fault it is right only yours i'm not watching you i'm not going to watch him. So if anything bad happens to him, guess whose fault it is?
Only yours.
I'm not watching your kid.
I got weights that I'm moving around.
I don't want your kid to get in any sort of pain.
So you got to keep an eye on your kid.
If I'm running by your house on the street, it's not your property.
I'm fucking, you know what I mean?
And keep running.
Don't stop.
Just keep running.
They're doing the thing where they're just like, oh, yeah, he'll watch him. You know what I mean?
If I'm doing some shit inside or the kid, he's not going to let the kid get taken. No. Right. Well, I think that's the thing. they're just like oh yeah he'll watch him you know what i mean if i'm doing some shit inside or yeah you know the kid he's not gonna always gonna let the kid get
taken no right well i think that's the thing you need to be clear if your kid gets kidnapped i'm
just gonna let it happen i'm not doing anything i'm not watching this kid it's not my responsibility
i don't know where you got the fucking idea in your head that it is but this is not my fucking
thing i'm just letting you know i'm not watching your kid and And I'm not just not watching because I'm oblivious.
I'm purposely not watching your kid.
I don't want to do that.
I'm working out, not fucking babysitting.
Like, dude, I understand he doesn't want to set the boundary because he doesn't know him.
But they're being crazy rude and irresponsible.
Well, it's just they're probably just got their head up their ass.
You got to be like, dude, I don't know if you've heard about the zone.
But when I work out, I get in that.
I can't fucking see shit around that. so if your five-year-old's
running around playing with my weights he's gonna get hurt and i'm in the zone dude so it's not
gonna be my fault you don't want your kid to die because i'm in the zone it's about him like
running off getting into some other thing right right right you don't want your kid to get taken
because i'm in the zone yeah okay but just blame it on the zone doing the zone i'm just saying dude
the fucking you know i don't know you know the husband's probably out of shape you'd be like your husband's out of shape he's probably never
or very rarely been in the zone he probably hasn't been in the zone since high school i live in that
zone right when i'm out here with the zone yeah i live in that when i'm running back and forth
that's exactly where i am and guess who's not in the zone anyone else your kid definitely but
anyone else so familiarize the parents with the zone step one first and then be like step two let your kid let them know that you inhabit the zone step three let them know their kid will never inhabit the
zone and therefore this is not going to work i mean the kid might be in the zone but he's not
going to be in my zone he's got to grow up and be in his own zone well he'll grow up eventually be
in his own zone but nobody's in any zone at five right there you go except like the shitting in
your pants educate them about the zone the shit your pants zone right that zone is something that kids do but educate them about the zone
and then also say look you know that's not gonna all right okay good cool
so basically uh this one's another written one so basically a good buddy of mine is seriously
dating a friend of my sister hold on a second a good buddy of mine is seriously dating a friend i can't ever do this
hold on so a good buddy of his is seriously dating a friend of my sister's okay i get it
it's like steve levecchio wow i mean i'm dating all the way back i'm dating lauren levecchio
use more current friends but okay uh her and my sister are part of my guy's friend group of six
dudes i recently found out that his girl
went on a date with someone else behind his back because her dad forced her to that's in quotes by
the way i only found out from my sister and i swore i wouldn't tell him if i tell him i essentially
ruined my sister and her friendship because my sister wasn't supposed to tell anyone and then
there's beef with me and my sister and her and my sister and the whole christ the whole tris group is going to be affected okay that's not a word
oh but all i know is if i were a group what does that mean i don't know tris whatever the fuck
but all i know is if i were in his position i would need to know this makes me so mad because
my guy has no idea and plans to marry her i want to tell him so bad but i don't know
what the right thing to do is uh i think you have to do i mean you need to get to her somehow
whether that's through yourself or you don't want to blow up your sister's spot and you want to
maybe make your sister say to her friend hey this guy's really serious about you and we're all like a really tight friend
group i'm not going to say anything but i think you need to like he's gonna try to he's gonna
keep pursuing this and wants to turn into something lifelong like he needs to know and i think that
you need to talk to him about this tell him about this give her the option to it's never good to be like hey
dude your fucking girl's cheating on you you want to talk to the girl first and give her the chance
to do it well they they went out they hung out because the dad wanted them to whatever that's
all about that's in quotes i think he's implying that he doesn't believe it oh okay gotcha okay
and then that that's all that happened she went on a fucking date with
someone else is what happened yeah how old are they that's a that definitely you know i mean
it sounds like they're like fucking 19 it sounds yeah they sound like they're in their late teens
honestly i agree so like he wants to marry her but also it's not gonna marry her anyway you know
what i mean just let it play out i think maybe start talking shit about her too to him to your friend wait who the guy that's writing should
talk to his friend and be like ah dude i know you want to marry her i don't know that's a good idea
you know yeah maybe i don't know i mean you don't that is a bad spot for him yeah but you run the
risk of saying hey look dude you know uh if you involve yourself you run the risk of saying, hey, look, dude, you know, if you involve yourself, you run the risk of ruining your friendship with the dude.
The guy could be like, oh, fuck off, this and that.
You know what I mean?
Well, you don't need to be too forceful about it.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Obviously, they'll be forceful no matter what.
But like you run the risk of getting involved and then having it backfire on you.
It could totally be the kind of thing where it's just like i mean dude if it was a hangout
and that was just that oh wait i got the advice okay but i got the advice the advice i got the
advice the advice is this tell your sister you need to talk to your friend and confront her
about this and tell her that she needs to tell
my friend who she's dating that she dated someone else behind his back hold on hold on hold on tell
your sister there's somebody i can't do this dude see that's pissing me off because it's so hard
okay do it again say it i i'm suggesting that this guy talked to his sister okay who's friends
with the cheater okay and the cheater told his sister
that she can't tell anybody.
And she told the guy that wrote in.
Okay?
So he's not supposed to know.
So he needs to talk to the sister
and say,
you need to talk to your friend
or else I'm going to.
And that can't happen
because the sister's going to say,
no, you can't do that.
And he's going to say,
well, you better then
because I'm going to if you don't do it.
So you're forcing the sister to confront her friend who's the cheater about cheating.
Okay.
And then.
So you don't get involved.
Exactly.
I see what you're saying.
And then the threat over her head is, I'll fucking, I'll do it if you don't.
And that'll make you look bad to your friend.
Okay.
So then she's got to fucking talk to her friend about cheating and then she's got to
confront her and then so that he can be confronted fuck it's too hard it's not hard you fucked me up
i didn't fuck you up i wasn't saying anything you looked confused i okay well i agree with you i
guess okay good i don't know who's who dude there's too many friends and shit let me just
finish it like this then have Have the person write in.
It's other person writing in.
The guy who wrote in, talk to your sister and say, look, if you don't confront your friend about this, I'm going to.
Your sister will be like, no, no, no, you can't.
And then you can be like, of course I can.
That's why you have to.
I get that.
And if you don't, I'm going to.
And then so therefore, you wipe your hands clean you don't
your sister's friend doesn't need to know she told you it stays among them in her friend's mind okay
and then she can with that information go to her boyfriend and be like because you gotta want to
put the pressure on and box them all in right so he can have this domino effect by doing that
and ensure that the fucking cheating friend confronts his cheated on friend with the truth.
Right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Go make a disclaimer.
Dude, if you're not the guy, don't write in.
What's happening here?
No, I totally get it.
I know somebody who actually met somebody once.
But he's in a bind.
At a Denny's diner and the waitress was telling him.
Dude, this is like if.
Don't do back in new jersey mike levecchio said the thing about i don't i i fucking haven't talked to them in 20 years i
don't remember who was friends with who i'm pissed off at you it's all right i don't get it there's
too many i can't do this anytime someone says this is my brother's fucking friend sister's mother i
don't know i'm done well then you're an. Maybe I got to fucking need ginkgo biloba. But the second somebody says to me, hey, dude, this is my friends.
Boom, I'm out.
If it's not your friend or your sister, if it's your sister's friend, okay.
But if it's your sister's friends, then boom, I'm done.
Any more than two, I'm done.
You're a straight up idiot.
You're a straight up idiot.
I try hard.
That's why I can't follow shows like fucking Game of Thrones.
Congrats on being a straight up idiot.
It's all good.
Well, I'm sorry, dude. Next one. I'm sorry I can't give you advice on that one. Because I don't know shows Like fucking Game of Thrones Congrats on being A straight up idiot It's all good Well I'm sorry dude Next one
I'm sorry I can't give you
Advice on that one
Because I don't know
Who the fuck you did
Okay great
Okay next
Hey Chris and Matt
What's up
My name's Tori
What's up
And I have a little
Problem I need some help with
She killed somebody
But I need some advice
About how to approach
This guy
Yeah
I have a crush on
Yeah
And I mean I have a crush on him for
no reason other than physical and i see that's how that works the gym and it's hard for me to
think of a way to approach anyone in the gym because no one wants to be talked to don't do
that yeah of course or i also see him like in the elevator he'll be getting off and i'll be getting
on and i always feel like it's
when i'm looking my worst feeling my worst but i just need to like rip the band-aid off and be
you know say hey or something i just can't think of what to do to break the ice so i need your help
um it would be so appreciated love the show thanks so much well you see him in two different places
the elevator to the gym and the gym though yeah
so kind of the same kind of the same place yeah you're kind of fucking making it like it's two
different places elevator is way better than the gym yeah right right yeah yeah but what but i don't
know man i mean the second you try to think about what you're going to say you're kind of already
here's what you say here's what you say uh it's easier for a woman toward a man at the gym because
the the thing that is the biggest no-no ever yeah don't talk to a a woman toward a man at the gym because the the thing that is the biggest
no-no ever yeah don't talk to a man hitting on a woman at the gym it's not gonna work the other
way around is still kind of dicey but it's not nearly as fucking bad yeah but anyway uh i think
in the elevator next time you see him make like a she's cute and she's being cute and laughing at
herself take that same exact vibe and say
oh this is so weird but you know i didn't want to do it inside the gym but we always run into
each other here and i thought why not just tell you like i actually have like a crush on you and
it's silly but i just want to let you know and like maybe you want to hang out sometime that
would be no way that's like fucking old-fashioned shit. Just be like, yo, what's up?
How you doing?
My friends and I are going to be somewhere.
Why don't you come meet up with you and your friends?
Don't like it.
Why, though?
Playing it too cool.
She got to be honest and earnest.
Her vibe is the honest and earnest cute thing.
Yeah, I know, but she also has to be alluring and shit.
She can't be like, I have a crush on you.
Why?
Because the guy's going to be like, got this.
You need to make the guy be like, oh, that was cool. That was an interesting
situation. Huh? What's that girl all about? You can't play
all your cards, bro. Boo!
You can't play all your cards.
Okay. Well, you can't play all your cards.
I think what I said is
great. If you want to take a bigger
chance, do what I said. If you want to play it all cool
and shit, do what he said, I guess. No, don't play it.
It's not about playing it cool. It's about getting the guy
to be intrigued with you. All right, maybe don't say crush but be like oh man like i feel like
we've run into each other a lot of times in the elevator uh i feel like maybe i don't know yeah
be cute and shit don't be like cool yeah no i'm not saying be cool but be like yo um hey i uh uh
i see you in here all the time
you should get some friends
I'm meeting my friends
because you don't even know
if you like the guy yet
you just have a crush
she likes him
but you don't know though
the guy could be like
fucking terrible
and at which point
she could hang out with him
for an hour and leave
and never fucking do it again
I know but if you meet up
with friends
if you say my friends are coming
you should come
and then you know
if he shows up
he's kind of interested
I think that that's a move
okay well you just say look my friends are hanging out with this at this place come with your friends
if you want if he shows up then you know he's interested if he doesn't then maybe he still is
but still you know that you've got the gym and you can see him all the time yeah i think yeah i mean
i think we disagree on this one that's not the worst thing do you think i should say hey i notice
you you have a you know I think you're cool.
We should hang out sometime.
Oh, she should be like, oh, I'm kind of like embarrassed.
And I would never do this at the gym.
But like we run into each other all the time.
And I don't know.
I just, I thought you were cute.
Maybe we could like go get a coffee sometime.
You'd like that?
Oh, yeah, dude.
Just straight honesty and not creepiness.
Always the best.
If she can pull that off.
Yeah, but that's very hard to pull off.
But if she, all she needs to do is take the vibe that she took to that video.
Okay. That's it. Is she saying the gym is in their building i don't know i'm confused by that too i thought i thought maybe she meant the elevator is just at the gym
but i thought she's saying the elevator at their building then you can say and she sees them at
the gym oh then you could say and honestly the best thing is is that the gym in the building
the gym in the elevator and my apartment are the same place if we end up hitting it off
we could still live here
and we could always be together
yeah well that
now that would be bad
that's something that you like to say probably
that would be real bad
alright cool
well look
that's what we have for this
this today
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