Lifeline - 22. Ramblin' Man
Episode Date: September 4, 2022🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Ma...tt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. 👉 Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use promo code LIFELINE to get TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS in FREE bets INSTANTLY when you place a five-dollar bet this Sunday! 👉 10% off Pure Spectrum CBD, use code CONGRATS at checkout purespectrumcbd.com 📆 Book 20 min or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. On today's episode, we discuss living in the past, some good responses to a couple of SUPER ANNOYING comments, tips for moving out for the first time, re-training your parents, lettings someone back in under dire circumstances, and a question about conversations from Steve Raymond. 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 More LIFELINE: 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline 💃 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline DRAFTKINGS DISCLAIMER: If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. New customer offer void in NH/OR/ONT-CA. $200 in Free bets: New customers only. Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 wager. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Ends 9/19/22 @ 8pm. Early Win: 1 Early Win Token issued per eligible game. Opt in req. Token expires at start of eligible game. Min moneyline bet $1. Wagering limits apply. Wagers placed on both sides of moneyline will void bet. Ends 1/8/23 @ 8pm ET. See terms at sportsbook dot draftkings dot com slash football terms. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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Hello.
Hello.
Hello. Will you please. Hello. Hello. we're live do it live now how annoying was it when we started let's get up they need to know
about how annoying it was like a seven out of ten 10. So we started and he turns the air off.
He turns the air off and then gets the cameras ready.
Now, why is that bad?
Well, because it's very, very, very, very, very hot outside and therefore very hot inside.
It's 102 degrees outside.
It is today.
And that's awful, right?
And he turns the air off and then gets the cameras ready when he should get the cameras ready and then turn the air off, right?
The air should be going as long as possible until up to the moment we're about to start.
So we get the fullest extent of the air for the longest amount of time.
Correct.
Scientist out of work.
Now, that's the truth.
Okay.
Number one.
Now, look at me.
Look what I'm doing.
I was going to ask who wanted to go first, but I guess you do.
Pure Spectrum gummies.
I eat them.
It helps with my restless leg syndrome.
He's been complaining about restless leg syndrome for fucking ever and guess how annoying it is 10 out of 10 okay but and now it's not annoying right because i take the shit i've been taking
to them whatever it's called what's called pure spectrum okay pure spectrum no thc but
anyway i'm gonna provide a link so i'm to provide a link for you guys under this, and you can get 10% off of this by using the code.
Oh, congrats.
My other podcast.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, congrats?
No, congrats.
All right.
Well, why are you fucking hawking other shows shit on my show?
I know.
I feel bad.
On my fucking show.
Because I'm a brand ambassador, my baby.
Now, I put this under my fucking tongue.
Anxiety levels the fuck down.
I'm serious.
And no fucking restless i don't
understand it's like a magic are you gonna know if it performed well here if you're using the other
code i'm using the congrats code he's using the congrats code that's what i'm saying say life you
should say use code lifeline and tell them to add a code oh so confusing i see what you're saying
i see what you're saying well right now the code's congrats if you want it can't change it it's
the code's congrats guy says or lifeline it's not lifeline okay you know and in other news so worse news
already a lot of you guys uh dm me and you're like hey because i give i'm the one that gives
good advice chris gives whatever the fuck i don't give good advice take pure spectrum cbd for your
restless leg or your anxiety show you give also show, you give fucking stupid advice, you know? Okay.
I give good advice and you seem to all recognize that
and appreciate it.
The problem is sometimes you write to me via DM
asking me for advice.
And let me tell you something,
I'm not going to do that
because that takes up too much of my time.
Valuable time.
And also, this is a fucking job,
not a recreational hobby.
So now that being said, I have decided to give private advice sessions available to you all.
Go to my website, mattdalia.com.
You can book 20-minute or 40-minute sessions with just me, your fucking boy.
Don't say Jesus like that.
No, it's cool.
Yeah, yeah.
You should do it.
You need advice on a lot of things
you can sign up i'll sign up uh yeah and that's the deal so do that now mattdelia.com go schedule
private advice with me will you be fucking boy will you be saying give will you be giving will
you be saying the spin move stuff at all absolutely never okay well you i will make sure i will i
can't guarantee it because that gets into legal
issues but i will make your life more pimpin pimpin i promise oh more pimpin pimpin that's
definitely okay to be you can say that yeah well your honor his life he did make his life more
pimpin pimpin um and also i will say this dude um completely forgot what i was gonna say nice
yes dude too much of that fucking thc not no it's not that that's the gabapentin in effect yes dude word recall is terrible wow dude wow if you take it let me
finish i wasn't gonna make a comment about the cbd i was gonna make a comment about thc
which is not in there right have you ever taken thcs nope boo have you ever Drank an alcohol No Boo I took a sip
Took a sip
I was there when you took a sip
And guess what you did
Spit it out
I didn't mean to take a sip once
There was a rum and coke
Whoa
Whoa
How does
Sucking
Whoa
At an orgy
Whoa
Whoa
At an orgy
On a roller coaster
Oh my god
Oh
Wow
On my taters
Oh
Um Is that on my taters Yeah Wow. On my taters? Oh.
Was that on my taters?
Yeah,
taters.
On your taters,
dude.
Cool.
Anyway,
dude,
I forget what I was going to say.
It was funny as shit.
Again? And now you guys don't get to have it
because you,
no,
the first time.
I don't actually,
I haven't even taken gabapentin
in a long time.
After I got gabapentin.
Gavin Penton?
Gavin Penton.
I was at school with him.
Who's Gavin Penton?
Gabapentin, dude.
The name of the...
Why don't they make
fucking medical names easier?
They don't want to.
They want to make it
so you can't say it
because then you got to pay
the guy who knows
how to say it right.
It adds to like
the separating of
the dumbasses like us
and the professionals like them.
Yeah, definitely.
You've thought that before?
I mean, not like
in a conspiracy way,
but I do think that terms
in general, groups come up with terms to exclude not for any other reason they'll be like
i'm gonna make up this like fancy fucking term so that only we understand it and people outside of
this group won't understand it and they got to come to us to gain understanding i'm smart do you
think that that's why we came up with runk no runk was on this on the fucking fly on the spot
but what i'm saying but people don't know what it is unless they come to us and they say hey
what's runk yeah but you were making a joke you didn't think oh i'm gonna exclude people now
you just said something funny i love excluding people okay well that's your own problem
um i will say though that i was on the road this weekend okay and how was that i have a video out
there it's called the tour report and it's on my crystalia channel but on youtube and it was awesome yeah it sounded honestly you you're
really transparent on text like i can always tell when you're in a shit mood in a whatever mood uh
in like a ditzy mood which is what you usually are in and then also when you're in a good mood
yeah and it was very obvious from before you went out to Dallas.
It was Dallas, right?
Uh-huh.
And while you were in Dallas, your mood was like crazy, crazy good.
Elevated?
Yeah.
I was down before that.
I still have ups and downs, you know, when I'm on the road.
But it was great to get to see my family because Kristen and Calvin were in St. Louis.
And then they met me in Dallas.
And when I saw them, it was great, dude.
When he wears the fucking earphones, it's too cute.
It's too much.
So I was in Dallas and I was in Wichita and it was great.
And opened up with some BTK killer jokes in Wichita.
I bet those killed.
I don't like jokes like that, but you did.
I don't care.
I don't care that you don't like them.
Other people like them.
You're not the only person in the world.
That's how it's going to be, by the way, when you sign up for his advice.
But I don't care.
Yeah.
And so now I have Atlanta, which is sold out.
Hey, would you look at that?
Good for you.
We did it.
And then I have Washington, D.C.
Limited tickets left. and then stockton
california stockton california yep been there wow you have yeah why have you been to stockton just
going through you know i'm a rambling man i used to be a rambling man now i'm kind of more
sedentary but i used to be a rambling man cool just learn the words and uh and when i was a
rambling man stockton was a place i ended up two times a fucking uh johnny cash song when I was a rambling man, Stockton was a place I ended up two times.
A fucking Johnny Cash song.
When I was a rambling man, Stockton was a place I would end up in.
Ended up in two times, not would end up.
It's not theoretical.
I did end up there two times.
When I was a rambling man, I used to, I would end up in Stockton.
When I was a rambling man, I would end up in Auckland.
When I was a rambling man. Wow. Two times in Stockton. When I was a ramblin' man, I would end up in Oakland. When I was a ramblin' man.
Wow. Two times in Stockton. Two times in Stockton would be the name of the song.
When I was a ramblin' man, I wound up in Stockton two times. When I was a ramblin' man.
So I'd be in Stockton and then Oakland. I've been thinking about getting a bulletproof vest.
Oh, okay. Nice segue. I've been thinking about getting a bulletproof vest no okay nice segue i'm thinking about getting
a bulletproof vest and just rocking it dude tupac did it and honestly he looked fucking fantastic
and guess what it didn't matter for him he got shot to death in public he got caught sleeping
he wasn't wearing it oh well if you're gonna here's the thing if you're gonna get a kevlar
vest you gotta wear it all the time you don't like have it on sometimes you don't go halfway with a bulletproof vest
you got to wear it like when you go to sleep only take it off when you shower
showering with the blue dress like i guess under it yeah yeah exactly um yeah dude i want to get
a tan one it would look really cool but you know they're like for style you want to get them for
style well dude i want to also look good a full full black one that's long is the shit with a chrome hearts cross over it.
And then a tan one is also a shit.
A high tan one that leaves your belly exposed so you wouldn't want to get shot in the fucking
stomach.
But a high tan one is good and a long black one is the shit.
That's something that has always bothered me about bulletproof anything.
It's like you got to get the full body everything or else they're just going to shoot you in
the head or hands. So just go out in like the full like yeah with covering up your feet like
get a onesie dude steve navarro with the fucking with the kevlar vest on get a bulletproof onesie
dude see i wouldn't that's the one i wouldn't get we got to show this on the on the thing make sure
you keep these for the show but this is the one These are the ones I wouldn't get. The cloth ones.
I want a full with the plate in it.
Ooh, wee, that one's the
shit, dude. Cloth doesn't work
so why would they be cloth? No, it does. They have like material
that like bounces and it won't penetrate.
What? Yep.
That's $125?
That's it? That is cheap.
That doesn't...
Oh, get a pink one. Those are dope.
That is cool.
Right under.
Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right,
Oh, pissed.
So anyway, I think I'm going to get one, but I don't know if it'll be here in the time
for Stockton, but goddamn, that would be so ill, dude.
I would be cool like that.
There's a pink one.
I mean, the pink ones, you know?
All right, dude.
Now we're talking.
Now I would wear a pink one.
Let's get that.
Chris is being colorblind because he clicked on the only red one that was up there. Of course, and there were pink ones. Those are pink ones. all right dude now we're talking now i now i would wear a pink one let's get this being
colorblind because he clicked on the only red one that was of course and there were pink ones those
are pink ones that's for that look they have it for chicks that's hilarious um i would wear it
though so i'm not a chick so it's not true um i guess we could start okay yeah yeah uh let's get
into the advices what's up matt and chris thanks for what you guys do lifeline fucking rocks congratulations
fucking rips and not enough people know about matt d'alia is confused that podcast is awesome
too coming back later this year baby throw that out there look it up anyway speaking of confused
that's where i come in i'm an extremely extremely nostalgic person to the point where everything I think about and do revolves around the past.
Got to be careful.
Looking forward stresses me out.
The future stresses me out.
I've never been one to have goals or want a career.
Even today stresses me out.
Even today stresses me out.
So I wasn't sure what to do as far as being super nostalgic to the point where that's where I am 24-7 just about.
Obviously, it's comfortable in the past.
You know what happened.
It's easy to go back to it.
And the future is scary.
So I'm 31 years old.
Living like that's not productive.
I need to get my head screwed on straight.
Any advice would be great.
How do I get out of the past?
How do I get to the future?
Thanks, guys.
Well, it's a simple question.
It's complicated, but it's a simple question.
Do you want to be a MAGA motherfucker or do you want to not be a MAGA motherfucker?
Because that's the whole thing that MAGA is based on.
What?
It's looking back and longing for a time.
But it's a trick because we think of the past and it's like oh we think of it as way way rosier than it really was and like he sort of alluded to when
we think of the future it's unsettled it's up in the air like you you know we could all get
fucking shot next day just walking around not if you have the but we know we didn't get shot
yesterday so yesterday's better because we can our memories are fucked up our
memories trick us our memories can't trick us retrospect candy coats everything i've always
said that what retrospect candy coats everything oh you you said that that's me i've never heard
you say that yeah it was me i say it but i've never heard it well i don't say it to you i say
it to sometimes different people why don't you say it to me it's cool is it cool did you make
it up i made it up yeah that was me not john lennon oh well i didn't think i didn't suspect john but now i did because
you brought him up but retrospect candy coats everything and that's something i made up and
if i was a rapper i would rap it in my songs and people be like oh that's interesting well it's
true i mean i'm not i'm just a comedian people look back on the past and remember that's why
when we like break up with someone and then a couple years later we're like, God, I shouldn't have done it.
That was the best relationship
of my life.
No, it wasn't.
You were unhappy, motherfucker.
You're only remembering
the good parts.
Our brains are not perfect.
They're imperfect
and when we look back,
we remember times
as better than they really were
and when we look forward,
we think of,
we get like doom cycles.
Like we think about
all the bad shit that could happen because
it's unsettled it's like entropy second law of thermodynamics you gotta fucking think of it
in a smart way but what was confusing me is that he knows all this he's not confused about why it's
because it's still scary it's still the future is unknown you were scared of what we don't know
that's why a lot of people don't that's why a lot of whites don't like black people because
they're not around them.
Well, sure, but that's a little bit different.
It's about experience versus like...
Dude, I think that, yeah, here's the deal.
Everyone is scared of the future, period.
That's fine.
Feel that.
It's okay to be scared, dude.
It's normal to be scared.
It's okay to be scared.
You would be weird if you
weren't scared you know what you'd be a fucking mouse or a frog right just you're a human it's
okay to be scared make your body take the steps forward one at a time dude and you're wearing
that hat that says life rips life rips life ripped yeah isn't the slogan he thinks he thinks it's life ripped life rips
it continues to rip you know what rips now you know what rips now you know what rips now now
keeps coming motherfucker right that hat was cool but when you put that fucking skull and bones
fucking hand on it it upgraded you didn't used to have that you don't think of the things that
you could be doing that you could be doing
and you could be doing some bomb ass shit and guess what you're gonna have in your life pain
and that's gonna suck too but your memory's gonna candy coat it and you're always gonna go back to
imagine if we all lived hundreds of thousands of years we'd be like man remember it was like
in fucking 14 you know 60 that was so fun we didn't have technology to ruin our lives and
you'd be like forgetting about all your friends that were beheaded yeah you've seen the tutors
or got like some virus and died exactly dude those fucking four waves of the fucking uh the
sweating disease or whatever the fuck they had in the tutors wow and it's not something but yeah
no they had the four ways of the sweating four waves of the sweating disease okay it happened during the i saw the you know when i watch the tutors right yeah which is
basically just instructive and educational the tutors well i google it afterwards and i see what's
true but but we'd be like oh man remember the time it was so great we didn't have to worry about
nuclear weapons you had to worry about famine you had to worry about candles setting a whole town on fire. You had to worry about losing seven children before you had a fucking son because your wife couldn't give birth because all you were eating were fucking taters.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I mean, the life expectancy was like 12.
Yeah, dude.
And the reason is because it was so hard to get past birth.
The reason is because it was so hard to get past birth.
Exactly. Yeah.
So my point is make your body do the physical things about moving forward,
and then you can make your mind do it.
But take the steps.
Try different things.
Dude, I feel you.
Retrospect, candy coats, everything.
But here's the thing.
But that's not real, bro.
The way to shift it around is this the
past you're being tricked by your own brain the past sucked the future at the very least might
not suck it's possible that the future won't suck the past i promise you fucking did okay
vote for me because it was life and most life is fucking hard and shitty the future
could be good
okay
that's it
yeah think about all the times
you cried in your life bro
maybe you won't cry tomorrow
yeah
and that's in the future
maybe you'll never cry again
fuck yeah
alright
let's do it
oh my god
it's
it's Christian McAlea
I love this guy oh dude this this crazy happenstance that i'm
submitting to a video for this wanted to ask you guys oh man when it comes to talking to new people
and in social situations how do you know when next to speak to them? And in what order you talk when conversing appropriately between two news new people?
Hope that you guys are doing well.
And best believe that I'm listening to every episode of Lifeline.
Dang.
Dude.
Okay.
This is, what is his name?
Stoney Raymond, right?
Steve Raymond?
Stoney Raymond.
I don't know.
TikTok, everyone's got a fucking silly name.
This guy, how does he do this?
I don't know.
Okay.
He's a good actor.
He's like acting.
Yeah, but like he must have a little bit of this in him.
Yeah.
The CNC on this motherfucker, dude.
Yeah.
How does he act so insecure?
So.
Yeah.
Over the top, but also real.
Yeah.
It's unbelievable.
Yeah.
It's the funniest kind of shit.
Like it's the Jim Carrey shit.
Like he's going so overboard, but it's that funny.
Yeah.
He's taking chances.
Do you know him?
I mean, that guy's hilarious. No, we've only conversed online, but i'm a huge fan of his he's on tiktok he's got like millions of
followers oh he does yeah yeah yeah steve raymond he's hilarious oh stovie raymond is the thing on
his thing that's why i the thing on his thing okay anyway stove raymond so anyway dude this guy is
talking about how do you know when to talk next first of all if this guy was really like this guy
this guy would have a lot of fucking um you got real a lot of problems oh yeah you gotta you gotta breathe first of all breathe more i feel
like when every time he makes a video you need to he's almost gonna fucking pass out you know i mean
like when you're doing adr and you're just like gotta do a quick breathing thing you realize
how fucking hard it is in 30 seconds you start seeing spots. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what, dude?
Have you seen Love on the Spectrum?
No.
These guys are amazing, man.
They got to learn how to go on date, and they got to learn how to talk to people.
And they'll just be like, yo, you look very nice today.
I think I'm falling in love.
Oh, they're autistic?
They're autistic, yeah.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
And then the girl is like, oh, that's in love. Oh, they're autistic? They're autistic, yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah. And then the woman,
the girl is like,
oh, that's really nice.
Do you have a dog?
And it's like,
they don't know what to say to each other,
but it's very sweet
and very nice
and very pure, right?
And they're saying what they want
and what they think is right
and like...
I mean, I think that's quite charming
and good
because a lot of people
think too much about it and come off as cool and collected like they don't want to seem overly whatever.
Fuck that.
A hundred percent.
People are just like, you know, dude, what do I say?
I'm going to do this.
I'm going to wait six days.
Just like.
Right.
Yeah.
Be the way you want to be.
Don't be fucking cool.
Yeah.
Being cool sucks anyway.
And here's the other thing too.
There's fucking seven.
How many billions of people are in the world? How eight billion not quite eight billion yeah yeah i know oh okay
and that there's somebody for everybody there's probably at least five people for everybody i
mean at least dude so get out there and be cincy and find a cincy person find an insecure person
find somebody that matches your rhythm of talking right that guy's hilarious yeah although i don't
know anybody could ever match that but no people would never be entertained by it that's for damn sure yeah
i'll tell you what if i was a chick i'd give you a shot yeah i mean that's so fun dude plus i need
i need a nice man you know okay i do i don't need a fucking guy that's all you know how much work it
is to be cool bro well that's why it sucks it's it's not real i know it's it's you have to if you
have to work on it, it's not authentic.
Right, right, right.
You know?
I wish more guys were like that, honestly.
And I know that that guy is a good actor and shit.
I wonder how much he's like that.
I don't know.
Because to be able to know how that works, you've got to either be like that or really observant.
And it's one or the other.
He's also been very cool to me online.
I'll throw my shit.
I like that guy a lot.
All right.
Well, we like that guy.
Follow him on TikTok.
He's fucking funny, dude.
You sent me a lot of his shit.
I think it's Stovey Raymond, I think.
Steve Raymond.
It's Stovey or something.
You keep adding an I-E or a Y.
It's Stove Raymond.
Okay.
Okay.
It's Stove Raymond.
All right.
I like when shit's cute, I guess.
Thanks, Toby.
All right.
Next.
Hey, Chris and Matt. My name is Stephanie. I like when shit's cute, I guess. Thanks, Obi. All right, next. Hey, Chris and Matt.
My name is Stephanie.
I'm a huge fan of your show.
Chris, I've been listening to your podcast for forever now, but I need some advice.
So I work in an industry where I'm surrounded by people all the time, customers, people
that work there, just people in general.
I'm getting really sick of the comments that they make on the way that I look and how young I look.
Oh, God.
I'm 22, almost 23.
I'm 4'11", and I weigh 100 pounds.
I'm very much aware of the way that I look.
I just really hate when people go out of their way
and make comments like,
are you old enough to work?
Are you still in high school?
And where are your parents?
So it's getting really old that people take time out of their day
and say stupid comments like that to me.
I know I should be thankful that I look as young as I am, but it's starting to get old and I never know a comment to say back to them.
I hope you can help.
Dude, how was she so eloquent the way she was speaking?
Don't act like she's so young she shouldn't be able to do that.
That's not what I'm saying.
Like, there was no stuttering.
And it was like she was like... She's very calm and collected. That's why she's so young she shouldn't be able to do that that's not what i'm saying like there was no stuttering and it was like she was like she's very calm and collected it's why she's got a job yeah very good at talking to people so now you're saying she's too young to have that job
no i mean that is so so annoying dude when people it's like they think they're the first person that
ever saw you and they they're it's like they don't think it through. Like, oh, she's probably heard this a gazillion fucking times.
Filter. Use filters, guys.
You're not that clever, motherfuckers.
Stop talking to this person like nobody's ever seen her before.
People have seen her,
and they've made the exact comment that you are going to make
that you think is fucking funny and is not.
Okay?
That's addressing everybody else.
As far as you...
I was going to say they should call into Lifeline, yes.
Yeah, they should.
But as far as you just say they should call into lifeline yes yeah they should but as far as what you can do i mean that it's hard coming up with like a blanket response
to the for this kind of shit because sometimes you know the tenor of the way people say things
are sometimes more acceptable than others you know no uh so it's hard to be like you know the
worst is when someone's like
thinking they're really
fucking funny and clever.
That is the worst.
I'm sure some people are like
maybe actually being genuine
and not thinking about being funny,
but still it's annoying.
Hey, like so concerned.
Hey, hold on.
Right.
Where are your parents?
Right, yeah, exactly.
That's probably very
actually uncommon,
but yeah, I don't know.
What do you want to tell her?
I'm going to go look for your parents.
What? What do I want to tell her? Yeah. her yeah oh well if they're commenting on how you look you comment
on how they look that's how it is tit for tat dude you're at a job that this happens okay all
that warfare i know why she would be hesitant to do that though because they could report her yeah
but she could do it first and are you kidding she's a young woman she could get i mean she
could get motherfuckers fired left and right but they're not people that work they're customers she's talking about dude customers
life to her and say shit that it really bothers her about her appearance oh god that's actually
really shitty even phrasing it like that yeah that sucks dude i mean it's you know it's fine
it's it's really not you're taking a little bit too far.
No, dude, like 20, 30 times a day, someone would be like, you're so small.
Imagine that.
Nobody's saying you're so small.
That's how she's obviously hearing it.
She said she's 4'11 and weighs 100 pounds.
Then she is so small.
Okay, see, this is the problem.
I didn't know that until now.
And that's not the first thing I'm saying.
She said it though.
She said it.
So you weren't listening.
I was thinking of the tutors at that point okay well that's but i think i i think that um
you say you you know oh well you look like a bird okay so now what and they and she's and they say
well i'm sorry what and they say that's offensive and i say well you're talking about how i look
young and where are my parents and you talk about how i should still be in high school you look like
a bird now let's move on and do this work right i think tit for tat yeah right i think she could
maybe say something like like oh how cute you think you're the first person that came up with
that that's good that's so good oh you think you're like the first person that ever thought
of that thing like great now can we move on yeah like maybe condescending be patronizing they've done it to you feel free to do it back yeah don't do it in a way that sounds angry but be angry and let
them know yeah how about this say plausible deniability how about this say where are your
parents this is what you can do too go ahead say i'll be i'll be heard go say where your parents
oh you look so young where your parents dead that'll be 1995 that's a good one too that's
that's amazing really good one that'll be amazing yeah yeah yeah they go like this oh sorry they turn into stovi raymond and they give you more money they give you double
the amount that you requested that's a good one yeah yep yeah cool so yeah think of the version
you have for all of them think of the version that you can turn around and make them feel really bad
look the whole thing about spin move mentality is dude have fun with it man have fun with it dude
qbc but have fun with the whole thing with spin move mentality is have fun with it, man. Have fun with it, dude. QVC. The whole thing with spin move mentality
is have fun
with it, right? Not only do you need to...
You don't necessarily need to do a spin move,
right? But you can also
simply
feel the mentality.
We have hoodies.
We have
shirts.
That's the back do we have
how low can we go
for this
Chuck's saying
it's too low
but I'm going
I'm going lower
Chuck you know
one
one
how many do we have left
we don't have that many left
so you be lucky
God you've been doing that
for so fucking long
for
you might
think you'd have them for 100 you are
not that's my favorite part yeah you are not getting them for 80 you are not the pause
getting them for 40 you are can we go low you are not so loud getting them for $40. You are, can we go low?
You are not getting them for $10
right now
for a limited time
only
for
simple payments
of 12 cents.
Dude, spin movementality. Alright, next one. Of 12 cents. Dude.
Spin movementality.
All right.
All right.
Next one.
Hey, Chris.
Hey, Matt.
Huge fan of the podcast.
Chris, you're looking really fresh today.
Love the fit.
Love the hair.
Super funky.
She's talking to me?
Love it.
She said Chris.
Matt, you have really nice hands.
Wow, dude.
And I don't know if anyone's ever told you that, but I just really felt like you needed to hear it.
That's a kink.
But I have nice hands too.
I need some advice because I'm moving out for the first time.
I'm moving out of my parents' house.
I'm going across the country to a writing program in a film school.
Really excited, but I've never moved out before.
So I'm going to be going to vancouver british columbia
i'm wondering if you guys have any tips for like moving out to the city or to a bigger city
moving to the west coast um kind of like networking getting into the entertainment industry
anything that you could possibly offer me hell yeah i will take um any stories from like when you guys were moving out in your
early 20s yeah um huge fan bro i just love that she's fucking moving up dude this is exactly where
that first guy needs to be dude living in the future but not so much but she's a you know
honestly women live in the future way more than men you know that they're better at planning their women are like long-term thinking
what is it gonna be like when dude kristen is just like i can't wait till we die together you
know what i mean it's just like dude let's have lunch yeah yeah you know it's so crazy dude i
can't literally kristen kristen will literally be like when we're old and our kids are out of the house and just how amazing is going to be when they come over for our last
thanksgiving right it's just like what the fuck yeah yeah but dude she's um yeah i first of all
vancouver i love vancouver besides the rain but i was gonna say that so don't jump on me right
but besides the rain dude oh my god i don't know where you're from if you're from a cold area that's fine it's gonna be cold as shit but let me tell you it rains a lot
besides the rain but dude christmas in fucking vancouver is absolutely awesome dude the lights
the beautiful coldness all of it i flew in a van i've been to vancouver a few times and one time i
flew into vancouver and got in a cab go where I was going I rolled down the window
and the air was hitting me in the face and I was like this sounds like horse shit and I swear to
god it's not I was like intoxicated by how fucking fresh and crisp the air was I like felt high wow
dude I felt high from the fucking air in Vancouver so what a fucking did did us fucking so many
doobies before that and didn't realize I didn't even i mean yeah right dude just just on the car like this
um whoa dude are you serious right now hey uber guy
i've been known to do fucking some doobies i'm the doobie brother out of the two but i did not
i did not i did not
it's just the air in vancouver but we should talk to her are we hot boxing in this weird
colored cab because it's a weird color because we're not in america and they don't have yellow
ones what wow um okay so advice though but she needs advice not her opinion about the city she's
gonna be fine but also the way you're being you're definitely gonna be fine yeah yeah um you're gonna be fine trust in your you know what dude trust in yourself but
i would say but not to be too overly cautious i know but trust in yourself but don't be too
trusting of other people because everyone else is trying to get ahead too you're out in the big city
you're a very kind person it's very obvious and obviously you're a go-getter that's clear but don't blindly trust other people who seem to have your interests
at their heart very good trust me they have their interests very good and let me tell you another
thing too about vancouver especially don't take a wrong turn yeah yeah dude the the fucking opiate
addiction and the fucking heroin forget it i say heroin like that because like i'm like a rapper what are you what word are you even heroin heroin okay i don't do that dude
oh even though that's the word not when that's not how naz says it heroin i mean heroin is a
got heroin in your veins oh okay you know still a bird so um what it's a bird heron
herring yeah but that's not what he's saying right no it's not yeah does nazar about birds
no heron and a blue jay so um yeah so you take a right turn dude and seriously it is the it is the
fucking you gotta be careful you step on a syringe so basically always wear shoes watch where you're
going and don't trust in too many people too much but trust in yourself and bro i can't wait
till let me tell you something i know you're probably gonna gonna want to get home to your Don't trust in too many people too much, but trust in yourself. And I can't wait till Christmas.
Let me tell you something.
I know you're probably going to want to get home to your family for Christmas, but ride out the van.
I mean, not if she's not Christian.
Well, she could be Jewish, you're saying?
She could be a lot of things.
I'm just saying she might not be Christian.
Buddhism?
You can be whatever religion you want.
She can, yeah.
It's up to her, but I'm saying most people.
Okay.
She's probably.
But it's beautiful that
time of year is your point yeah so right out that holiday a lot of people go home for the holidays
okay dude like you're trying to like not dude i'm just saying it's not about christmas it's about
the time of year that's all you're getting pissed no i'm not getting pissed i'm just saying
she wants to ride out december there it's gonna be cold but it's so nice yeah yeah it is so nice
and vancouver has starbucks across from starbucks's yes and i go in both and tim hortons tim hortons
too yeah i wonder where she's from but the thing that you said about don't make a wrong turn that's
true but vancouver is very safe because they have safe places to do those drugs they're not like
wheeling and dealing on the streets addicts go to a safe zone and get a clean needle.
Right.
So it's like not as fucked up
as say Skid Row
in downtown LA.
That's why there's so many Starbucks
because they have them
in Starbucks.
Yeah, let me get a tall
mocha thing there
and then
hair on.
I'm sorry I say it
because I'm like
and then call it out they're like nas
all right okay you're gonna do great congratulations on moving out going to the big city stud what's
up guys my name is daniel my dad's 63 and he's an accountant uh he saves every penny he earns
which is fine i've learned a lot from it cool uh but anytime my brothers or i spend money on
something that he thinks is unimportant oh god wouldn't say he's disappointed, but he kind of disapproves.
So I guess the question would be, how do you guys handle trying to teach your parents things, even though they seem like they're kind of already set in their ways?
Fuck yeah, dude.
Yeah, let me know.
It's tough.
It's so tough, dude.
It's so tough.
I mean, we deal with that. I don't think you can teach them anything i think the only thing you can sort of get them to understand
is is that you are your own person and the way you do things has validity to you so therefore
it has validity in general so they shouldn't be so uh looking down
their nose at you like that that you're a fucking adult and you're clearly a rational one so if you
want to buy fucking i don't know rims on your car and your dad's like oh here we go this he's
treating like a child yeah yeah and that's not right that's shitty dude so you could i don't
know what kind of guy your dad is but you could at the very least just be like look dad like just because you don't want to do it doesn't mean that it's
absolute a bullshit thing to do i want to do it i make my money the way i make it it's my money i
can do what i want and it's a thing to do in the world relax fucking get the stick out of your ass
and you want me to be happy don't you like isn't that your goal for your child like that's the
thing about it is like what makes you happy like sometimes i spend money and i'm like i shouldn't
have done that and i'm like but it makes me happy though and it makes me happy and because i'm happy
that's good and you're gonna die what are you gonna do with that money when you're fucking dead
no i mean not everybody in the world has died but they're gonna i said you don't know that
no everyone who has been born is going to die has everyone who's been born died not yet so then that
doesn't work but they're
going to i didn't say they did die you don't know that yes i do give me a version of the future that
somebody alive now is not going to die anthony hopkins what about him he hasn't died yet
he hasn't died yet the guy who played he's gonna die the guy who plays the first who's that guy
not give me an example of a person who isn't going to die give me an example of someone how someone alive
now could possibly not die a few days ago i would have said mikhail gorbachev but he died so
there's there's one in your favor there's one in your favor you think is not gonna die
how could a living person not die i'm just saying you don't know with like uh what's the trend trend what's
the fucking movie that johnny depp did the transcendence what's that fucking one transcendent
trend what is that one transcendence yeah transcendence google it instead of just thinking
he's just sitting there like this just fucking you got a computer transcendence you don't know
about that you don't know about uh synchronicity and what the fuck's gonna happen but he did die his his consciousness lived on but he his body died got you on a technicality also that's fake that's
a movie using like meet joe black meet joe black brad pitt's character didn't die i mean look he
brought up bicentennial man so different so different so different he brought a bicentennial
man he wanted to look up. Yeah, hell yeah.
He's like, oh, movies?
Oh, I like this other movie.
Yeah, dude.
Thank you.
There you go.
Like I stinking ass said.
Look at that.
Look how dumb his face is there.
I hate movies that the poster is just one big picture of the actor's face.
You know what I don't like too?
When movies give a character a
name and then center that name in a tagline like what yesterday dr will caster was only human
who the fuck is dr will caster dude because that's johnny depp motherfucker like we already care
about him yeah like what the fuck so that's fucking hilarious like don't center the name
that means nothing to me yeah that poster
sucks that poster is way better yeah but some fan made that i guarantee you think yeah dude or it's
a foreign thing please show it on the video on youtube because polish polish shit german shit
latin american shit all those posters are always better american posters are just like
some photoshopped face of matt damon and unrelated to the movie and then another photoshopped face of Matt Damon unrelated to the movie, and then another photoshopped face
of Jeff Bridges unrelated to the movie.
And it's just like, this is true grit.
This is true grit.
Look at that.
The Blu-ray cover is so inactive, dude.
Dude, that Blu-ray cover sucks.
Just faces, dude.
Look at the chick with her hair.
Like, at least get a still picture of her.
Well, that sucks.
Of course, Morgan Freeman's in that movie, know yeah is that morgan freeman it's just
all like someday we will all transform wow dude so true all right next one dude oh wow okay that
that but well how about this i will i will go to say find a blu-ray cover that's actually good
yeah i bet you number one isn't just based on the poster of the movie. A number one bad fucking art, Blu-ray post.
Because Blu-rays were only around for like three years, you know?
Yeah, dude.
So true.
But wait.
Just to wrap up that fucking guy before you start the next video.
Oh, yeah.
You're your own person.
You may not be able to teach your parents anything, but you can at least get it into
his head that he was once your age and he can remember that.
It's not that fucking long ago.
So just get it through his head that you are your own person.
You have the things that you like that are willing, that you think are worth your fucking
money that you made, not his.
Fuck him.
And it makes me happy, dude.
It makes me happy.
Yeah, right.
If you ask your dad, what's the number one thing you want?
Happiness for my son.
I don't give a fuck. Dude, if Calvin isn happy i'm not happy i want him happy i don't care if he wants to grow up and be a fucking train conductor i don't even know if that's a
good job but i'm just saying i would never see him because he'd be on the road a lot but what
i'm saying is if calvin was a train conductor to be perfectly honest yeah that is true they
have cool outfits yeah hats but my point is whatever then bad example you know working at
kinko's and no shame if you work at kinko's, you're trying to get by, whatever.
But like no one would wish that on their son, I guess, right?
Because Kinko's will probably be out of business soon.
It already is.
It's FedEx now.
There you go.
So, right?
So if you work at Kinko's, pretty much.
You're done.
You're living in the past like that guy, right?
The first guy, yeah.
First guy.
So, yeah, dude, just happiness, man.
It's what makes you happy.
Happiness, man.
Yeah.
Great.
Okay, great.
Great.
Next one. Bing bong. Bing bong. What up, y'all? Great. Okay, great. Great. Next one.
Bing, bong.
Bing, bong.
What up, y'all?
This is Luca Magnata, the homie that was asking about asking a girl out at work.
Oh, yeah.
I ended up getting to meet her just in passing.
And honestly, wasn't really my vibe.
You know, part of the reason I had said that I was potentially interested in asking her out is because i just was going based on just looks right and looks on everything do that you got
to get to know them a little bit um and just wasn't my thing so i didn't ask her out um but
here's a separate question my brother and i do a podcast about movies we talk about movie news and
like we review movies and stuff like that it's really fun for us we look up to you guys we you
know we're inspired by your guys's podcast um what are some ways that we can make our podcast more
um entertaining or successful or interesting what are some ways that you guys have found
helps you when you're having a conversation like being entertaining and also being yourself
i don't know just some advice on having a podcast that you started with your brother where you talk about movies so thanks guys peace do it naked well no people yeah no people are you have
to remember that people are subscribing to not necessarily the actual uh idea or the content
it's you yeah 100 so let your you come through as best as possible and it's a lot harder for some
people you know i think for comedians,
it's generally easier because they're already figured out who they are as a performance
wise. And for people who are not comedians or performers, I think it's a lot harder. So
it may take you a little bit longer to catch your groove. I don't know how long you've been
doing this podcast, but yeah, think that uh people are subscribing to
you ultimately uh so that's what you gotta uh focus on having that come through i was gonna
say something similar which is like you almost if it's your brother especially you guys have a
rapport that you know brothers and sisters siblings brother and sister, whatever, they have a rapport that is common among siblings, but their specific rapports are not similar.
They're very unique.
Every pair of brothers, pair of sisters, brother and sister has a unique bond.
And whatever that is, try to tap into that.
It's almost like try to do it as if the cameras or microphones are not there.
Because people will want to tune in
to see a unique bond.
People like whatever you want to call it,
realness, authenticity.
They want to see or listen to people being themselves.
And when you have a unique bond
with someone in particular,
they want to see that even more.
So again, I think just sort of echoing what Chris said,
don't talk about the movies.
Yeah, but that's the fucking background noise.
It's actually about you two
and how you guys vibe with each other.
So assuming you guys do have a unique bond,
which I'm sure you do,
make that front and center
and lead with that every step of the way.
Every time there's a question
about what direction to take the show,
lead with the unique bond that you guys have. Not the kind of movies that you're going to talk about
not whatever whatever whatever it's always gonna should always start with the bond that you guys
have also how about that's great that you realize that the girl's not for you see this is the thing
about you know not realizing you this is the thing about living in your head you know what in
addiction we call it magical thinking it's like like you think that you see someone and you create this scenario that doesn't necessarily exist that you want to.
You play out like this movie, you know, like, oh, I saw her.
She was in the corner.
You know, we're supposed to meet or whatever the fuck it is.
And then you meet somebody.
I'm glad you let reality sink in.
Yeah.
the fuck it is and then you meet somebody i'm glad you let reality sink in yeah that maybe this isn't right because a lot of people especially like you know addicts or me or whatever
they might be like oh this means something i need to you know i need to talk to her because of this
or whatever it is nothing means anything there are no signs stop it with that shit nothing is
meant to be things happen and when they're in front of you and they
seem good or are good you follow that path what senilist and no no i don't mean that from like
no matter what i just mean that things out in the world there's no deeper meaning to them
you make of the world what it gives you what it offers you and you take it or don't
okay senilist and it's okay okay absolutely not um but yeah i
mean i think that's that's like uh there's that joke in jerry seinfeld's book that you know when
we were kids sign language yeah i remember it he talks about how he doesn't have the problem with
dating anymore because he just stopped approaching people because he can see it someone a beautiful
woman and then he can see play out their whole trajectory right or like they're getting starting
to get into fights they're starting to like oh gotcha butt heads and like they hate each other
by the time they're dying it's like you know if you don't live right then in that moment
you can see ahead a little bit foresee maybe what it would be like to be on your 10th date
and it might be all right it might be what's happening there you playing a trick on yourself
oh boy it's an nihilist so yeah no no i'm not and we're going to talk about that after the show okay
cool wow gonna lay me out hey chris matt thank you guys so much for all you're doing here i'm a huge
fan so my wife and i've been trying to get pregnant for about two years now and we've had no luck
we haven't gone to the doctor or anything like that because we just don't want to know that if
you know what i mean yeah still young as crap i'm 26 but my wife
is 30 and she feels like we should start talking about other options young as crap um the big one
is adoption and i would love that kid with all my heart don't get me wrong i i want a kid so bad
there's nothing that i want more than to be a father oh um but i just feel like having one of
my own might be a little different uh i i like a dick saying that, but any advice you guys have at all would be great.
A lot of people feel that way.
Yeah, I understand.
Don't feel like a dick.
Yeah, you want to go ahead?
I mean, I actually think about this sometimes because obviously Calvin is mine.
No DNA test needed.
You got to fucking, you know.
I'm so nervous.
I mean, you see the fucking face.
He looks like me and my dad. I'm so nervous like so there's no way it's not mine but um so but my point is i i do think about that
sometimes like what if i adopted a child and it just it didn't look like me or and and and i wonder
how much of that is ego-based and how much of that is uh just evolution-based to where you
feel like you created this life with you and your balls and how right let me just move to it but it
starts with your balls and it all started with a pair of balls that's how the Bible begins.
Here comes Adam.
And so, yeah.
So I wonder how much it would... You've tried for two years.
That's a fucking sure as hell.
And also, though, it is hard to get pregnant sometimes, dude.
Sometimes you just aren't busting at the right times and you can't seem to get to bust at the right time.
You get like four days, though, from busting.
Sometimes women have shorter windows.
It doesn't mean anything's wrong.
Yeah, but semen or sperm lasts for two days, right?
But maybe he busts and his shit goes away,
does the job quick
and he's not in there for the same time period.
If he busts, then the splurt lasts for two days.
And if you're in the window and the splurt's chilling
and the window opens, the splurge goes,
oh, hey, look, the window is open and they run in.
Two years is a long time, so maybe something is going on.
He said he doesn't want to go to Dr. Y.
He doesn't want to find out what could be bad or whatever.
But I would say you're fine.
You're 26.
You don't need to go to the doctor right away.
I would say it's only 24 tries though.
That's not that many, dude.
I guess so.
Keep splurging.
It's a lot, but it's not crazy.
You just keep splurging.
Get her to fucking roll around with the knees up or whatever the fuck i mean i don't know worst
doctor ever but have you got her to roll around with her knees up but take two of these call me
in the morning but the truth is you got it if if it's if you're starting to think that way but
other you don't go you don't start thinking about adoption as an alternative without exploring yourself and her self to the end you got to go to a fucking doctor
buddy yeah you have to go to the doctor it doesn't mean something's wrong it could be something super
simple you could have a low sperm count and he could give you some cbd you know what i mean 10
code if you go to the link and it's congrats you hit type in congrats but but you could you know
it could be something like that it could be like oh i see the problem yeah right easy fix take this pill once a
week and yeah fucking fun like you don't even know you're thinking about oh my god you're you're
infertile or all this scary shit dude that if that's true you can think about adoption but
there's no reason to be thinking about that now yeah don, don't suppose. Don't suppose anything, dude.
You're not a doctor and a doctor is a doctor.
But do go to the doctor.
You definitely go to the doctor.
You don't want to live with this like, maybe I'm this, maybe I'm that, maybe nothing's
wrong, maybe this is wrong.
You don't want to live in that constant state of doubt.
Just go, get some fucking answers.
I'm sure it's not even that bad in the first place.
And then once you get the answers, you go home and do some bust a bust and lead to a little wow and uh pablo francisco and honestly the the
the last resort can be adoption and that's fine and that's a beautiful thing or ai so well you
never know how the future what it it holds, right? Again?
You're going to pull up
a Johnny Depp poster again.
Transcendence is real.
Synchronicity is real.
But yeah,
just don't fucking think
the doctor means
the worst possible thing.
It doesn't, dude.
It does not.
It does not.
People don't like to go to doctors.
I get it.
He was probably pricked
with a thing wrong.
They couldn't find his vein
or something when he was younger
and now he has trauma.
Okay.
Such a bad therapist, you know?
Why are you coughing so much, dude?
What's going on? Talk about doctor. I'm all good. Damn, dude. All right. he has trauma but okay such a bad therapist you know why are you coughing so much dude what's
going on talk about doctor damn dude all right all right next next hey matt and chris i'm hannah
and i'm from georgia and i need some advice my mom is an alcoholic we don't get along
or have a relationship really and she has cirrhosis of the liver. She's not doing great.
My siblings really want me to build a relationship with her because she's not doing great.
We don't know how much longer she's going to be here.
And I'm really against it because I don't want to give her the power to hurt me again.
I already was hurt when I didn't have a mom to help me pick out a prom dress or sign a lease on a car.
when I didn't have a mom to help me pick out a prom dress or sign a lease on a car.
So I don't want to give her that power to hurt me again if she's only going to disappear again.
I don't know what to do. Do I just suck it up and be at the hospital with them because that's what my siblings want?
Or do I say, screw you, I'm fine without you and i don't want to get hurt again help uh this is the
kind of thing i would love to be able to ask questions about uh making me want that fucking
private session with her but for for for what you're giving us the amount of information that
you've given us i think first of all that's fucking painful and i'm really sorry that that's
your experience with your mother that's not fun uh i know some people who've had similar experiences with one parent or another and it's
just it kind of colors your whole life and it's sad and it's fucking really really difficult so
i'm sorry you got to go through that but uh don't i would advise you to not do anything just because
your siblings are saying you should they have their own relationship with their mother.
That doesn't mean yours should mirror that.
It doesn't mean that yours, you have your own unique experience with your mother.
That doesn't, they shouldn't be able to tell you exactly how yours should be or how you
should operate in your relationship with her.
You have been hurt by her in a number of ways, clearly, and you're not ready to open yourself
up to being hurt again.
And that totally makes sense. That being said, if she's actually close to dying, I would give it more
consideration than I'm initially inclined to advise. Because I don't think that it's worth
the fear of her hurting you again. I don't know if that's worth spending the rest of your life
knowing that you could have maybe tried to open up some kind of line of communication with your
mother again but she's gone too early that you that you know i feel like the best yeah
that's a very good point but i also think that you know it's not just about you ultimately it is
but here's the thing it's not just about you
it's about your siblings too if you do care about them and you love them you need to consider them
but ultimately you are the most important to you so the whole deal is you may not
know what's best for you at this moment and to live in regret with not giving your mother another chance might be something that
you might experience for the rest of your life.
Between the two things, letting your siblings down, and also you might not know what's best
for you right now, I would heavily consider being there for everyone and being with your
mom through her final moments.
But only you know what's best
and you are most important so if that supersedes all of it then i understand you're not being there
i definitely understand you're not being and i don't think you should feel bad about it did i
miss something did is her did she say her mom's actively dying she says she has cirrhosis and
it's not going well okay uh i i i mean maybe i don't know how bad it is you know she's maybe she can't
even really have a conversation but it might be if she's up and able to talk and communicate and
totally lucid it might be worth having this specific conversation with your mom just tell
her like look you know i want to be able to be here for you and i want to have a better relationship
you know before you might leave this earth.
But like, you know, the truth of the matter is you've really hurt me over the years.
You know, your disease has not only alienated one of your children, me, but it's totally ruining your body and leading to very possibly your death.
So like, you know, can we meet somewhere in the middle here so we can both get what we want?
I know.
I mean,
your mom doesn't want to have you alienated either.
She's got this disease that got in the way.
She's got her own fucking demons,
whatever.
I'm not making excuses for her.
I'm just saying like,
she doesn't want this either.
And if there's a way for you to figure out,
you know,
if you stay in your lane and,
and approach it in a way that you're careful but also
caring to your mother and to yourself it's possible that that could open up some kind of relationship
with her that is positive before she goes and then you know not to sound crass but like end her life
for you on a positive note would be i think extremely valuable to you in your situation um yeah man we like to
keep this uh podcast sometimes with some levity but i'll tell you that was a serious one yeah
so i like the serious ones yeah no i like the serious ones too i mean we should talk to you
know the producer about maybe you know maybe some more funny ones whatever um i do feel i do feel
uh i do feel for you you know obviously addiction is rough it's it's
stronger than your mom and it's stronger than your family and it fucking sucks but uh you know
uh let us know i guess yeah follow up if something changes let us know for sure
yeah and that fan was working hard up there did you see that it looked like she was gonna fly away
jesus christ all right she got one of those spinny hats on. Yeah. All right. Next. Oh, hey guys. Oh, he's cute.
It's Mal and Bogey here. What a cutie. Yeah. We were just watching videos of Cal and he has to
kiss his face every time. So do I. Yeah. That's a boy. And So my question today is, I had this little man when I was 24,
and everyone's favorite thing to say to me is,
but you're a baby yourself, and you should have waited.
But you're only 20, in your 20s, you should have enjoyed it more.
I'm like, this is what I want to do.
So just wondering what some of my responses should be
and what I should say to them because it's kind of getting old.
It's so cute.
But yeah, thanks guys.
Really appreciate it.
That baby is so cute.
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
I got to get this straight.
I know what she said, but I got to say it out loud.
There are people in her life.
Those people are miserable.
That tell her she should not have had her son because she's only 24 i don't know what
they say specifically that but yeah she was leading to what people were saying that uh oh
but what about living your your youth you know uh now you're a mom or something like that you know
fuck those people are miserable oh also do they have like like dude i mean i i love the way i did
it i have you know but if i could have had kids earlier now that i have calvin i'm like well that Do they have like, like, dude, I mean, I, I love the way I did it.
I have, you know, but if I could have had kids earlier now that I have Calvin, I'm like,
well, that would have been fucking fantastic.
You know, I don't understand these people that are like, there are people that show
up and they're like, Hey man, I've had a great week, dude.
I got away.
I was away from the wife and the kid.
And like, I'm just like, what?
I never want to be away, dude.
Yeah.
I bring them on tour.
I don't understand these people's
lives there's two different types of people like this man there's people that are just born to do
that shit which you are you had your child you're living dude it's also awesome to be young with
your child yeah you know like we're both very young i'm only 42 and like i get to be with calvin
and i could run around and shit and my knees don't hurt i mean you know and i and we we tackle each other we have a good time and he
learns the you know sounds like you need another therapist the do's and don'ts but no i'm joking
but like you can this is great this is the best time of your life i just can't believe there are
people that say that first of all just to be absolutely as clear as possible not that you
exhibited any doubt here but those people are
100 in the wrong fucking titanic assholes okay they're also projecting they they are miserable
and i'm glad it doesn't seem to be you know any skin off your back but like what you can say to
them is something like excuse me you're an asshole or if you don't want to be that direct confrontational you can just say
why in what world would i not want to have this son in my life right now like what what are they
even positing that like it would be better if like you shoved them back inside and this never
happened like wow what if that's what they meant put him back in there he's here and he's a
beautiful fucking boy what are you talking about yeah say that like what are you what could you possibly mean she's so nice
you could see she smiles so much and she's like oh wow and she eats it dude don't eat it anymore
don't just be like you see this baby yeah this is great yeah yeah yeah what are you talking about
this is so fun i get to be young with this motherfucker yeah okay well you don't need to
say mother let's go in the sandbox dude don't project your bullshit on me don't project your oh i didn't live my youth
to the fullest your sad life on me and do it with your fucking beautiful smile if you want you can
even say something like you know write a note it sounds like with a smile if you want it sounds
like projection like do i seem unhappy i'm not unhappy at all i'm over the moon happy yeah i
love my son.
I love my life.
What about you?
What happened in your life that you feel like you can just say that willy-nilly to me?
You don't know anything about that.
Like, I seem happy because I am happy.
What about you?
Turn that shit around.
I don't know.
Mom said to me recently, she was like, maybe get Cal on a better schedule or something like that.
And I said, nah, we got it it it's like sometimes just that's enough you know like nah
don't say that yeah but that's different that's mom trying to be helpful that's not the same thing
this person whoever she's counting in her life they're trying to actually they're trying to be
mean is i don't think i how could you justify that i don't think they're always trying to be mean is i don't think how could you justify that i don't think they're always trying to be
mean i think that they have their own shit going on and they do think well i think they're not
trying to help i think that they're asking because they want to figure it out themselves sometimes
because like what did i do wrong it's definitely about them dude it's not about you yeah well i
mean most of the time it's about them yeah but that's just so fucking annoying they're just like
they're literally thinking like hmm well i didn't get to have enough blowjobs when i was in my 20s what about your you know what i
mean interesting yeah i didn't get to go do all those retreats that i wanted to go because i
what about you and she's like my life's different than yours yeah i mean i i did the retreats i
gave the blowjobs i wanted to that is that is astounding people did no not gay i'm saying
her dude that is astounding people ate my box as much as i wanted you that is that is astoundingly not gay i'm saying her dude that is astoundingly my box
as much as i wanted you know whatever it is annoying and shitty and absolutely fuck those
people yeah i backed it up as much as i wanted to already yeah okay you know i'm saying i got you i
got you i got you i did the horizontal as much as i wanted to and i have retreat i done retreat i
have retreat also also i have my child. Look at his smile.
Look at my smile.
We smile so much.
We're basically the mask in the first purge.
Our faces hurt.
We smile so much.
Yeah, dude.
Ouch.
Just go like this.
Go like this.
When they say that, go like this.
Ouch.
And when they say, what?
What's wrong?
I'll be like, my face hurts because I smile so much.
That's how happy I am.
Ouch.
My face and my baby's face is basically the first mess from the first purge
that's good perfect and then they go like they'll go like this and they go like this do you see what
you're doing you're projecting spin move out of there i knew that was coming lifelinemerch.com
get your spin move mentality shits uh go to the link fucking pure spectrum get your legs to stop moving chill
and absolutely
fucking get your anxiety
at an all time low
and be happy
dude I was at a wedding
the other day
and I was looking around
and I was like
why am I so awake
dude I think that's the answer
I'm telling you right now
10% off
use code congrats
hit that link
and you know what's up
dude if you have a question
why don't you finish it
take a message
alright yeah
and if you need some
private advice,
get some more details in there,
like that second to last one,
I would have loved more details to advise
a little bit more specifically,
a little bit more tailored
to the person in the situation.
Go to mattdalia.com,
private advice sessions with me and not him,
so it'll be even fucking better
and more focused on you.
And if you have a question,
click the link in the
description below or go to white's life go to white's life and go to watch lifeline.com
thanks guys hell yeah love you all