Lifeline - 51. MrRogersTube
Episode Date: April 2, 2023🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/wa...tchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. Thank you so much for your questions! We're celebrating Chris's 43rd birthday and discussing what to do if you think your brother is a loser, other teachers stealing your curriculum, friends dating exes, when your friends crushes are actually crushing on you, and if it's worth it to go into debt for your dreams. 📆 Book 20 min or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline 💃 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Recording. We are recording. We are recording right now. Welcome to Lifeline episode 51? 52? What is it? I don't know.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday dear my brother chris happy birthing day to you
so how's it feel 43 it feels good they got me a cake that's amazing you guys got me a cake i
appreciate it i took a picture of it we'll play it right here it says me a cake that's amazing you guys got me a cake i feel i appreciate it i
took a picture of it we'll play it right here it says life pips it's so fucking sloppy who wrote
that a blind person honestly how did you not get the r that it's so bad you obviously had it
professionally done right why did i mean did you buy like the the squirty shit oh just did it
yourself i was worried that they weren't gonna
do it in time if i asked them to do it so we had a little cake frosting leftover from the live show
and i almost ran out and so i did that i know it's very sloppy but we almost ran up there so
we didn't have enough for the extra leg of the r so life pips yeah um it smells fantastic. I'm going to eat it in a little bit here. And I got a happy birthday from all you guys, from Chris and Anthony.
Not you.
Didn't say it.
Yeah.
And then you got me also a face mask.
Because you're old now.
They want you to lose your wrinkles and shit.
I've never had a face mask before in my life.
But I always see Kristen has face masks and shit.
They're for wrinkles, right?
I mean, I don't know. You're supposed to keep up with it like it's way too late for me to start now no well start it's starting anytime you want i know my buddy andy kozel has been doing him
forever he's been doing like he does them yeah dude that's hilarious but you know he's 65 he
looks great no he's yeah he's 40 something but um but it looks great. I got shows.
Hey, at this point, we'll have done Minneapolis, the special.
So, yeah.
Hell, yeah, dude.
Thanks for coming out, Minneapolis.
It went great.
Yeah.
So, tour tickets at chrislee.com.
I'll be in Columbus and – no, not Cleveland.
I will be in Cleveland, but I didn't announce that yet.
So, here we go.
Oops.
Yeah.
Columbus, Ohio, and Cincinnati, and Milwaukee.
No, that'll be old.
That'll be Milwaukee.
So what am I doing here?
I'm doing Tucson, Salt Lake City, Colorado Springs, Pueblo, and Tucson.
Those are the new ones that we put out there.
Chrisley.com.
When you say Tucson, do you ever think Tucson, Arizona?
No.
Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up. No. Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up.
Giddy up, giddy up. Ghetto Cowboy.
What?
Ghetto Cowboy.
You ever think about that?
What's Ghetto Cowboy?
The song by Crazy Bone?
No, no, no.
Oh, Crazy Bone, my favorite rapper.
Which one's the one that did Ghetto Cowboy?
I think it was Mo Thugs.
It was Mo Thugs.
But who's the one with the deep voice, the bone thug with the deep voice?
I don't know.
Busy Bone?
No. No, not Busy Bone. Busy Bone's the one with the deep voice? The bone thug with the deep voice? I don't know. Busy Bone? No.
No, not Busy Bone.
It's fucking Pat and the motherfucking Interrupts.
What's that guy's name?
I don't know.
I think he's Crazy Bone.
Deep Bone?
Deep Voice Bone.
So the whole thing is you can get the merch here, the lifeline, the purple pen that Matt's wearing.
Look at that hoodie.
It's really nice.
Christ, the way you're doing it.
The worst model on a lazy Susan.
In the pool.
In the pool.
Dude, surfing.
So you can go get that at lifelinemerch.com
or you can go get sessions with Matt one-on-one.
Mattdalia.com.
At mattdalia.com.
This merch though, for real, it looks good on camera,
but I'm telling you
It feels even better
I can't wait to see it on my show
I remember if it doesn't say Michael
She's not the real thing
So yeah dude
I thought the rain was going to stop didn't stop
Still raining when we're shooting this today
Got pissed off I can't get my car washed
Dude when's the last time you got your car washed
I let the rain do it
But I let the rain do it I don't't get my car washed dude when's the last time i get car washed i let the rain do it that's not washing it man but i let the rain do it i don't ever get my car
washed i mean ever i don't do it i i it's gonna rain i know but some point it will rain in la it
but yeah but that doesn't mean that you can't have a nice clean car for like not you know
sometimes it doesn't rain for months it's true the interior of my car folded every car
that i've ever had the interior is a fucking mess folded caved you no no i mean that's true i just
i always wait for the rain it's like every time i fucking get my dog groomed it rains the next day
and then she smells like shit ass again right right right bleep that but she smells like
snatching ass you see me say ass you can't say
anything anymore come on youtube no it's okay which is mr rogers yeah mr rogers tube so um
i feel like i feel like you have to get your car washed a little bit sometimes okay i you know
every time i go drive by one i think i should do that i just i never do it and you don't do it i
never do it i think that uh well what I want to know is people in Seattle,
at that point, I would just get a beater.
I wouldn't even get a nice car.
I mean, maybe I would get a nice big car,
but there's fucking no reason to have a sports car
in anywhere where it's raining because it never looks nice.
You think about that?
I'm thinking.
Like having a really cool, nice Porsche? Dude, here's the thing, though. I'm not the way you think about that. I'm thinking. Like having a really cool, nice Porsche.
Dude, here's the thing though.
I'm not,
the way you are about cars,
I'm not that way.
You're not that way.
The way I am about things,
you're not that way.
Yeah, things are not for me.
Like I'm like,
wow, nice watch.
Never.
I got these glasses the other day.
Love them.
I was actually going to say
those are nice glasses.
Oh, do you like them?
Yeah.
They're not expensive or anything.
I make an exception for eyewear.
I do like glasses.
Because you wear glasses? Because I wear them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotcha. Because I make an exception for eyewear. I do like glasses. Because you wear glasses?
Because I wear them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Gotcha.
Because I need to wear them.
Right, right.
What about contacts, though?
Get the color contacts.
Color contacts?
If you got color contacts and they were like frost.
Yeah, that would be sick, actually.
Dude, you would be so sexy.
What I might do is dye my hair blonde.
That might be my next step in my evolution.
What do we think?
Comment on it.
Let me know.
I might dye my hair blonde like kurt cobain blonde
you know what i was doing i saw there's this app called lenza is that what it's called anyway you
put your thing in you could change everything i was i heard a guy talking about online so i got
it because i want to do a joke and just send pictures of myself to everyone actually i did
i made this on it did i send it to you i don't know let me send it to you guys, and this is where you can post it. And so I wanted to – yeah, look at this.
You'll see, audience.
It'll be up here now.
And so you can make your – everything different color.
You can make your cheeks smaller.
Like chicks use it for – you know what I mean?
It's called a lensa?
Yeah.
But chicks use it for like making it look like they have more of an hourglass figure and stuff like that.
Like they post stuff and they look – Yes photoshop yeah it's terrible but like look what
you can do you can do like all sorts of things it says uh falling in love whoa that's just a
filter what i want yeah no to be looking at no shit so um i did was messing around with it i
put my hair and my hair was pink on it and like, ooh, maybe I should fucking dye my hair pink.
And then I realized I looked like that shooter that shot up the movie theater in Aurora, Colorado.
Oh, yeah.
He did, yeah.
James Lipton.
James and the Giant Peach.
Dude, I knew you'd like that, man.
I knew you'd like that.
It's so stupid.
Why do you like stupid shit like that man
i've always it pisses me off when i when i'm laughing and i say that's so stupid people are
like what do you mean like you're laughing and i'm like no yeah that's why i'm saying that's so
great like that's so stupid it's so funny it's just the dumbest the dumber the joke the better
you know dude especially if black people are like you are like denny my the guy the comedian who opens for me on the road he was like you stupid
man and i was like man that's such a compliment it is yeah yeah yeah i love it we're black me and
you nice is what we're saying nice you got alfred's coffee now what do we agree on that
it's bad what'd you get amazing it's a regular hot coffee? No, it's not. It's the vanilla latte. Oh, wow.
The world famous vanilla latte that I get from there.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Well, that's good, man.
Yeah.
I didn't know that you were going to do it.
We've been thinking about maybe doing an extra episode or something like that a month for
Patreon.
We were thinking about flirting with a Patreon thing here.
We're not sure if we're going to do it, but we do want to maybe do a Patreon.
What are your ideas, man?
You know?
What are your ideas?
Write in if you want some more content a Patreon. What are your ideas, man? You know, somebody, what are your ideas? Write in,
if you want some more content or whatever,
we may do it.
We won't take anything away,
but we're probably going to,
we may add some stuff into a Patreon.
Would you be down for that?
We don't know.
Yeah, what it is now
will always be what it is now.
We would add extra stuff
and I know you already said that,
but I'm saying it better.
No, but it's a poetry.
What I suggest is
you tell us what you want and then maybe we'll consider doing it.
But yeah.
Cool.
All of our ideas are pretty boring.
So give us some good ones.
They're like, yeah, 40 extra episodes a month.
Yeah.
They might not be doable, but something.
Yeah.
Wow.
That was that.
That sounded so much like a fart.
I don't know.
I don't know.
But so we'll see what happens.
Nice.
Oh, those are shoes.
And now they're on the table off of learning English.
We eat.
What's up?
I don't know.
What's up with them?
Oh, wait.
Who makes those?
Balenciaga.
Nice.
I knew it.
I actually knew that.
I thought you'd like it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
People are going to probably think you, you know, is Balenciaga out of the woods yet with
their whole scandal?
Oh, yeah. With the good. Cause that was real dumb and i like where am i lindsey so oh do people say
stuff to you no okay hey why are you wearing that dude nobody says anything to me they're afraid to
come up to me on the street i'm always walking like this oh that's bad to do that it's very
unfriendly no people so people don't talk to me i mean you look i hate when changers talk to me so
i was going like this.
I mean... For those who are only listening,
I'm grimacing.
I'm sticking my jaw out a little bit.
Sometimes when people start...
When people approach me anyway,
they get closer,
and I go...
That's bad.
I buy a sling blade.
So...
All right.
So, well, let's go.
Let's get into it, guys.
I'm losing my voice.
I need to...
Yeah, you sound congested, too.
Well, it's just that I'm really...
I'm very cool.
I'm not congested.
Am I congested?
No.
It's just early in the morning.
What's up, guys?
Going for you.
So I live with my brother.
He's 21.
He kind of makes the best roommate in the world because he never leaves his room.
But also, he never leaves his room.
Right.
So all he does is play Xbox.
He Uber Eats every meal.
I can't get him to do anything.
We own the house together
so there's a lot to do around the house.
A lot of things to fix up
and just maintain.
That's weird.
I'm kind of worried that he's going to turn into a loser
if he keeps this up
but then again he's also only 21
so how do I approach this?
Do I let it ride out?
Do I have a sit down with him?
Yeah.
Do I do nothing at all?
Let me know.
Thanks, guys.
That's a really good question.
Hey, man, you got to leave your room.
No, dude, I think that's what you might have to do.
You're in your room too much.
No, you don't say that.
Start with him leaving the door open a little bit.
Like baby steps? Yeah, baby steps. Like with him leaving the door open a little bit. Like baby steps?
Yeah, baby steps.
Like Calvin, leave the door open a little bit.
It's a good thing.
You're a good brother to actually worry about that because that is a real thing.
People, dude, people.
Complacent.
Some people just, I mean, I know you're saying this is what your brother does, but it turns
into a habit and these people just don't leave their room for like forever.
Yeah.
Like I've known people who get addicted to games and they
they like don't they go weeks without leaving their home we have a third brother did you know
that yeah yeah he's still he's still in the room playing so somewhere yeah it's just uh it's it i
think that honestly you uh he's 21 it might be okay but here's the other thing too is like covid
messed it up for a lot of people like so now for for the past three years, I'm sure he got used to doing that because he had to.
And now he's fucking stuck.
So it's a bit of a cycle of like, you know what I mean?
He's addicted to the lifestyle.
He's addicted to the game.
You know what I mean?
The actual literal game if he's playing video games.
Wow, COVID fucked up so many people's lives.
Remember all our friends that lost their minds?
Yeah, actually.
I'm addicted to the game, dude. I'm addicted to the game, dude.
I'm addicted to the game.
Okay.
So unsympathetic to those people who lost their minds, you know?
What, because of the Tupac thing?
Yeah.
Addicted to the gang.
I think Bill Clinton, what you just did.
No way, dude.
I was listening to Tupac the other day.
God damn, he really is so good.
I was like, why don't I listen to him more? You know he's my favorite. You know that. damn he really is so good i was like why don't i
listen to him more you know he's my favorite you know that of course yeah i'm like why don't i why
don't i listen to him more oh dude it pisses me off so much how you are about getting out of a
car when a tupac song is playing it used to be like nothing made me more mad about anything you
ever did than that he used to never get if we arrived somewhere and it was time to get out of
the car when a tupac song was playing he'd have to
wait till the song ended
to be paying respect to Tupac
Dweeb
Dweeb okay
didn't Bill like yell at him
once yeah dude of course because that's
so annoying he was like we gotta go to
fucking dinner and I'm like I can't there's the
Tupac song I gotta wow
dude and he was like everyone's
fucking waiting for you everyone was in the car like this yeah looking looking at me in my car
and i was like i can't and then finally i was like fine i turned it off i felt so bad so so
so that made me feel bad during the whole dinner well he should have made you feel bad because
that's idiotic that was the first time i ever did that in my life this is the first time i ever did that malaf why are you southern right there but dude it's so
he's so good dude dad uh so wait this guy though you gotta you you have to talk to him about it
and even if obviously you should start by being like hey like let's do this let's do that let's
do that and even if you have to guilt him into it doesn't matter still do it if he's not coming out
of his room even when you ask him to or tell him to to tend to real life shit then you gotta have a real talk
like man-to-man talk and be like yo i know you're young you're 21 but that you're not 12 you're an
adult now you got to act like one you got to live in the world you can play your video games in
downtime but you got to also live in the world with other human beings more than anything else
we're social animals you can't just be alone all the time the guy'll just be like i don't have to leave but he does why because he's gonna get
mad depressed he's probably gonna have start getting like health problems and shit because
you need to be outside to be healthy you also need to be in communication with other people
in person to be healthy that's a real real thing. You need to do that.
It sounds like mumbo jumbo bullshit, but you need to be social.
And not on your fucking headset while you're playing Holy Warcraft
or whatever the fuck it's called.
Holy Warcraft, dude.
Holy Warcraft.
World of Holy Warcraft.
The worst title of any.
Actually, Holy Warcraft is kind of the shit.
Holy Warcraft sounds sick, yeah. I would go see a movie with Holy Warcraft. Yeah. Who's he? Who's Holy Worldcraft. The worst title of any... Actually, Holy Worldcraft is kind of the shit. Holy Worldcraft sounds sick, yeah.
I would go see a movie with Holy Worldcraft.
Yeah.
Who's he?
Who's Holy Worldcraft?
Yeah, no, that would be a good...
Two tickets under Warcraft?
That would be a good video game, Holy Worldcraft.
You're the Pope?
Yep.
Yeah.
And you have to use a gun even though you don't want to because it's sinning, but you
have to.
Right, right, right, right, right.
But also, the Pope is hospitalized.
You read about this? Because he's so sick? Yeah, because... Yeah, because... With that drip with the jacket is hospitalized. You read about this?
Because he's so sick?
Yeah, because...
With that drip with the jacket?
Dude.
Dude.
It's not real.
How fucked and fooled did you get, though?
I did.
I fully, 100% thought it was real.
AI duped me, dude.
AI duped you.
We're all so fucked.
You got to zoom real close in and look at the hands.
We're all so fucked, dude.
I know.
Life's over.
Yeah.
We might as well all phone it in, i know life's over yeah we might as
well we're not even here right now dude it's not even exactly it's just that this is the tip of
the fucking iceberg ai is here just to fucking ruin everything i mean think about like presidential
like speeches i know like i mean we're just we're done we're done we're done
you know what i i the video i watch these videos um of all these boomers like they get scammed
online oh yeah it's kind of like catfish but it's an online show scam fish i think you know you love
it i love it and these old people their brains are it we as younger people are like oh they're
so dumb they're not dumb their brains are just not ready for what the internet had to offer right they're not they're
brain like they're not their brains are done for me right and they can't do it they cannot right
figure it out that that is a scammer that the person on the other side of this is not that
super sexy man with the fucking stubble beard who's like looking at the camera with the rose
like it's some guy in nigeria yeah
just like on a headset doing this to 20 other people at the same time yeah dude you know
man would you i'd be i bet i would get i would be so i bet i would love that job okay well real
real quick okay my point was that's going to be us with ai like we are so not ready to have a world where ai is so prevalent we're all
going to be like those old people who are fucking idiots right scammed by nigerians like the kids
are going to grow up and just be like they're going to literally see a video and they're gonna
be like well who knows if that's real they'll be their default is like and ours is like not that
yeah ours is oh that's i saw a donkey you fucked a donkey i swear to god you know like
the black mirror right wasn't that the one where he fucked the pig oh right yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah that's the first episode yeah okay i mean you know it's the first episode okay dude i saw
that show rabbit hole don't know what you don't with keifer sutherland in oh i saw an ad for it
i don't know the show though bro you know you see that fucking ad for that show and i'm like is it 24 basically you know i see that i'm like oh dude my nights are they're done for
now i'm gonna watch the whole thing that's rabbit hole so basically it's kind of like that like
getting too close to me yeah dude with the eye with the ai and all this and like they put stuff
in and they they scam people that way and um and i watched two whole episodes and i and i don't have a fucking
dude it was so bad dude oh really it's so bad that even i can't watch it it's so bad that um
what do you call it i was watching it and they try to it's a little bit like 24 in the in the
suspense style not the keepers in it so yeah 24 yeah yeah if he wasn't in i wouldn't think that but right um
but dude it literally they try to have humor in it which is so weird if you think about it
like yeah okay yeah but they try to have like banter oh yeah where they're like it's very
30 years ago that kind of thing yeah dude it's like you make they're like they're like
that's not the face you're supposed to make if you're doing this and like not that's not a line but like that's the
style and you're just like oh they're bantering it's like fucking george costanza should be
yeah what's it about though you don't even know dude how could it exist and nobody knows what
the show's about it i watched two episodes so he basically um gets a job to try and he has to like get two people together and have it look like they're colluding so they can take a picture of it.
Oh, okay.
So he does this whole fucking thing where he's like, all right, we're going to pick the person up and pretend we're a cabbie and then drive them the wrong way.
And then, you know, pretend like somebody dropped something.
They pick up and give it to the other one.
They snap the shot.
What's it on? Paramount Plus. Okay snap the shot What's it on Paramount Plus
Okay
Which I like
I like Paramount Plus
I do too
But
You know why
American Animal's on
Paramount Plus
It is
Yeah
That's a movie
Why don't you ever
Say movies on it
Paramount Plus
American Animal
It's the only place
To stream it
In it's finest form
Yeah
Yeah
So
Also the Beavis and Butthead
Movie's on there
So that's good too
I have to watch
What
The old one No the new new one That's not a movie it's a series no it's a movie it is i have to
fucking hilarious okay cool so anyway uh it's a bit off the rails this podcast so um he does that
and then at the end of the first episode i'm not ruining it because the first episode is a pilot
it's what it's about um you find out that the guy that he tried to set take the picture with and the
woman they die and everyone thinks it's him because he did all this because he did all this
shit and it's like was i set up by the dude and then at the end of the episode he goes home and
the god this is so weird the guy who he took was in the picture that was dead
is now at his house all tied up and he was like look at i'm eating an apple what that's not good
thank you we're gonna go with another idea but thanks for coming in so do you want to buy it
20 million so dude that's the every episode would cost $3 million. So dude, and then the second episode is just like more of that.
And I'm just like, you know what?
I actually can't do this.
It sounds a little too heady.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But also that with Kiefer Sutherland, that doesn't sound like the right mix.
Yeah.
Kiefer Sutherland is like for dumb shows.
I know.
Like dumb minds, you know?
In the good way.
I know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Popcorn.
But this is maybe that, but just biting off a little bit more that it can chew, you know?
Okay.
Okay.
Well, don't watch Rabbit Hole.
Watch American Animal on Paramount+.
Yeah, you got to talk to your fucking loser-ass brother.
Okay, what's next?
Oh, wow.
I'm losing my voice.
Great.
Hey, Chris and Matt.
Love the podcast.
Chris, we saw you in Lakeland.
You were phenomenal.
Matt, you're awesome.
Thank you.
My name is Amanda.
I'm a middle school art teacher.
Cool.
I work in a K-88 and here's my problem my
classroom next door neighbor is the elementary school teacher this guy has no boundaries he
comes in my classroom all the time unannounced he gives me way information more information about
his personal life than i would ever need and recently i found out he's been stealing my
lesson plans so the first time i called him out and he just like acted like it was a coincidence
he had no idea and then i found another one of my projects that he's doing.
And the issue is that his fifth graders this year are going to come to me next year and
be like, we've already done this.
So I'm just wondering if you have any advices.
What should I do?
Let me know.
Thanks.
Okay.
That's the kind of situation you got to rat his ass out.
You got to rat his ass out.
You confronted him.
He didn't want to confess. He doesn't want to change. You did the right thing by confronting him. Yeah. You got to rat his ass out that's you gotta rat his ass out you confronted him he didn't want to confess he doesn't want to change the right thing by confronting yeah you gotta rat his ass out go
to the principal straight up doesn't matter and if he's like how could you do that to me he's like
what do you mean no you didn't stop when i confronted that's a rat yeah you gotta rat his
ass out unless you say yo i'm gonna have to fucking go above you if you don't stop so you
think she should talk to him one more time and say that i don't like being a rat but he that guy's putting her in an awful position that's what i'm saying
you can't she can't win without an appeal to authority if you're just going to keep doing it
right uh nobody's going to know if she doesn't say something and then she's going to look bad
because or rather she's going to have to do extra work right and she does have to say something
because honestly it's directly making the kids dumber.
It's also directly affecting her work and making her do more work in the long run.
So say if you don't stop, I'm going to have to rat you out.
And then if he still does it, rat him out.
Yeah, or rat him out, honestly.
Yeah.
I mean, I wouldn't.
You already gave him a shot.
Yeah, exactly.
That's what I think.
You're not in any sort of wrong.
Dude, that wouldn't. You already gave him a shot. Yeah, exactly. That's what I think. You're not in any sort of wrong. Dude, that's wild.
If you want to do extra, like, give him the benefit of the doubt, you can warn him one
more time.
But yeah, I would definitely not.
You already did.
I want to know how you prove that someone is stealing your lesson plan.
Talk to the kids.
No, I understand.
But how do you know that?
I'm sure it's kind of the same shit.
There's curriculum. Okay same shit you have.
There's curriculum.
Okay.
So you're asking how do you prove it?
Not how do you prove it, but how do you even know?
How are you so cocksure he's stealing the lesson?
But how do they differ?
How much do they differ to where it's like,
do you know what I'm saying?
I'm assuming she has more than just like a hunch though.
But what I'm saying is.
Crazy guy, dude.
I gotta clean my, oh, it got dirty.
So what I'm saying is easy guy dude clean my we got dirty so what i'm saying is though is like in a lesson plan uh like you have to go over what world war one world war two fucking if
it's history and then he's going over world war one world war two how do you how you say you stole
that you understand what i'm saying i do but that what is the lesson plan because it's more specific
than just world war one it's a specific lesson and exercise and class project right so he's stealing exactly what those things are right so
what i got yo i had them do a poster board of fucking you know the spanish inquisition right
this guy's doing a poster board of the spanish that's not what it is that's not what they're
doing but yeah how do you know that because she teaches k-8 she's not teaching about the
spanish inquisition you know what's the spanish inqu-8. She's not teaching about the Spanish Inquisition, you know?
What's the Spanish Inquisition?
Yeah.
What's a bayonet?
Well, you can impale someone with it.
What?
Yeah, no, they're not learning about that yet.
If at all.
All right.
Okay, so do that.
Yeah.
Hey, Chris.
Hey, Matt.
I just want to get your guys' opinion on your friends dating your ex-girlfriends.
What you guys think about that?
Is that crossing the line or whatever?
Kind of confused right now just because I have that going on in my life.
One of my friends is letting me know that he's going to be in a relationship with one of my ex-girlfriends.
let me know that he's going to be in a relationship with one of my ex-girlfriends.
And
is that like bro code or
what?
Let me know what you guys think.
Chris, I'll see you April 1st in Minneapolis.
Hey. Peace.
Sick. I'll be there too. Sick, sick, sick.
Chris.com. Dude, fucking get over it.
I have a specific opinion about this, but go ahead.
I think you should get over it, bro.
Try to get over it.
It's not doing nobody any good. I think you should get over it, bro. Try to get over it. Because there's nobody any good.
Of course, try to get over it.
If you can.
Yeah.
Right.
But if it's really...
Here's the thing.
If it was a very recent relationship, then there's a real issue with what's up with that
friend.
That's not a good friend.
No, it's fucked up.
Uh, and it, but assuming it's been ample time, if you're still upset about it, that's kind of on you.
It's still very annoying, but like you got to roll with the punches and let it go.
If it's been like two years, bro.
But also here's the thing.
It's good for you.
If it bothers you because you still like her or whatever, then it's good anyway to act
like you don't care. So to act like you don't care so
either act like you don't care or don't care either one is good but why is it good for him
to act like he doesn't care because it certainly isn't good for him to act like he cares well it
unless he's like you know what fuck my friend i don't want to have anything to do with him and
that's bullshit of my ex i'm not speaking to him ever again well yeah i guess you could also do
that that's good for him well yeah but i'm saying if you like
want right to engage in friendship warfare you know like some suns and machiavelli shit yeah
uh but yeah i mean obviously the best uh route is just a bye yeah bye bye
what if he did that oh wow the clicking of your rings bye bye what else is there no so konnichiwa whatever the fuck no that does i think that's hello
um that's hello um so also it should just be mushi huh too long mushi mushi yeah mushi
she's mushi dude mushi mushi mushi how do you know it's moshi so you spell it mo moshi moshi
moshi moshi i like moshi well sometimes it sounds like that because i say it fast you know uh yeah
all right look so i think that honestly the time is a big factor like if it's yeah a month that's
bullshit of him you know because also if it's a month it's also longer than a month that's the
thing they've been lying to you for a little bit you got to know that well no here's the thing though if it's been a long
time and like you said your friend came to you and was like hey i wanted to let you know yeah then he
kind of did it right he did do it right he came correct if you found out about it and then the
friend was like ah i'm yeah i'm sorry man i wanted to tell you but didn't know how like that that's shitty but if
the friend was even had the not courtesy but like your friend respects the wherewithal if he comes
to you and says look i know you guys had a relationship but like her and i know each other
and i don't know what's going on but like i really want to take her like you know whatever on a date
or i really want to start dating her and i just want to let you know you know it's not like he's asking you he doesn't have to ask you but he's doing the right thing by
coming to you and telling you that this is what he plans on doing i don't think that you have
very solid ground to stand on to be legit pissed unless again unless it was very recent uh and i'm
talking like within a year i think a year is a year is a good benchmark yeah um but you know
it's a tough thing i don't care if my buddies go out with my exes but like
i don't know it is weird though i'm kind of like a real real strong guy i'm like stuff doesn't
bother me like i'm a stonewall you know oh nice okay well yeah i'm a real man i mean like i know
it's cool to like show your emotion but like when i need to bro yeah i can just be a fucking stonewall okay well that's
actually not good nothing bothers me it's not good i could see someone i'd love get murdered
in front of me honestly go about my day if i need to right okay because i i've you're a terrible
person no it's like you know jason stayed them in the beginning of movies that's what i'm like
i'm familiar oh right before he gets like talked back into caring about stuff 100 i don't do that mate
no that's not for me i just murder like and then like a little chinese girl arrives oh yeah and
he's like you remind me of my daughter she died yeah ah fuck now i'm all conflicted and shit
wow worst script worst script ever what the fuck now someone kidnapped her ah for fuck's sake
fucking god damn it well imagine if there really was a script like that time to go into the
basement and fucking hit the button and have the walls all open up and have there be fucking 165
million guns that i haven't used.
Jason's ad-libbing again.
You're blowing it.
We have the shot already.
We shot that scene and you're blowing it.
He doesn't need to say it.
All right.
Saw Rambo the other night.
Which, what Rambo?
Last Blood.
Last Blood?
The last one.
The very last one.
Wow, where Stallone's like 74.
Dude, you know I love Stallone.
Yeah, I know that.
He's a bud he is a
bud of yours okay yeah love stallone he was gangster in that movie he's a fucking rambo
of course he was but it's more gangster 75 and he's just dude he's barely he's so talk about stone cold like me yeah okay dude hey no you know what i do no no
what's what are you okay oh okay okay
dude he pulled out a guy's heart in the movie come on cut it out cut it out or pulled it out
cut goes like this with the knife and then goes. Why? Pulls it out.
Because he wanted the guy to know that that's how it feels.
That happened to him first?
Well, metaphorically, it happened to him because he lost someone that was like a daughter to him.
That's so stupid.
Because people talk about broken hearts.
It's not literal.
It's not like when your daughter dies, you go, ah!
You know what I mean?
Ah!
My heart broke.
It was for him, though.
He said, this is how it feels.
And he was going like this.
And the guy was just like, ah!
Because before that, he took fucking bow and arrows.
And he stuck up.
OK.
OK.
Good acting.
Way far away.
That was good acting.
How I did it?
Yeah.
Because I was a mime?
Yeah.
It was good.
You think it was good?
Stop making me have to repeat it. Yes, it was good. Because of i did it yeah because like i was a mime yeah it was good it was good stop making me have to repeat it yes it was good because of can you just say because of how i
because of how your body did and the sound effects and all that it was clear yeah okay so he's like
that and then he goes and then he fucking hops down walks across the barn and goes this is how
it feels and he just goes he's giving the worst H-J of all time.
And then he goes,
and he goes,
and he goes,
and I'm watching it with,
Dave, is Kristen awake still?
No, it was Sam.
Of course not, because that was happening.
Sam Sheik?
No, Sam, my videographer.
Oh, Sam.
And he says, take a bite.
Dude, if he took a bite, it would have gone from a movie that I simply had seen to top
10 movies of all time I've ever seen.
Right.
If at the end he goes, and eats the heart, come on, bro.
I don't know if that would be good, but okay.
I understand that you would love it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's already ridiculous.
It cut the heart out.
Yeah.
If they really went for it. Dude, there's too you would love it. All right. Yeah, yeah. It's already ridiculous. It cut the heart out. Yeah. If they really went for it.
Dude, there's too many Rambos.
And then all of a sudden, like after that, a Mexican dude, it cuts him and he goes, adios
mio.
Like the greatest movie of all time.
It's like an SNL sketch?
Yeah.
All right.
Well, I don't even remember what the question was.
Yeah, I don't either.
But that's definitely, you should not eat somebody's heart.
I think that cut someone's heart out.
Oh, the boyfriend. That's the answer. Girlfriend that's the answer girlfriend all right yeah and then if he
does that to you he could do that yeah if he does that to you be like this is how it feels and then
cut his heart out take out but this time take a bite out of it okay but now if the guy takes that
advice and does that then you were liable culpable so take it back we do the thing in the beginning
of the thing was like we're not you know like therapists.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
So I think we're good.
I think we're good.
All right, who's next?
Hey Chris.
Hey Matt.
What's up? Love the show.
I think you guys are really funny
the way you interact with each other.
Hate sauce.
So my issue is
Everywhere I go
I'm like a magnet
for other guys staring me down.
Oh.
I'll just be going about my day
and I'll catch eye contact with another guy
and I'll wonder,
hey, why are they staring at me?
And all of a sudden,
now I'm in this dominance game of staring contest.
And I'm like, this is so stupid.
And I always look away.
But then I feel weak.
No, no, no.
Like I just got dominated.
So it's like lose, lose. I keep got dominated. No. So it's like,
lose,
lose.
I keep staring and I'll probably wind up in a fight.
And if I look away,
I feel weak.
No.
So I'm just wondering,
what do you guys do when that happens?
And no,
they're not staring because of the sweater.
I don't usually wear this.
All right. Thank you.
Yeah.
You,
you keep looking.
You never break that eye contact,
dude.
I'll tell you what right now,
dude,
when people stare at me,
I was joking around. I said, I would do that too. I would not do that too. When people stare at Dude, I'll tell you what. Right now, dude, when people stare at me, I was joking around.
I said I would do that too.
I would not do that too.
When people stare at me, I fucking look at them.
This is my advice to you.
If I ever give good advice, this is the advice that I give to you in Lifeline.
Look at them.
And when they're looking at you, imagine yourself eating them.
Consume them.
Eat them.
Eat their.
yourself eating them consume them eat them eat their imagine eating their face working your way down from the neck to the shoulders then eating their chest and tummy imagine like pac-man eating
their you know cock balls take some time at the cock right i mean to eat it just fucking make it
nice you know just eat right and. And then all the way down.
And as you're watching them, you get lost in this world of, I'm eating this motherfucker.
And you don't even think about the fact that you're there staring and you'll win because they'll be like, uh, uh.
Who are these people engaging in staring contests in the world?
What if this guy, he doesn't know, but he's walking around just like well that that was one of my two thoughts is like maybe it's in your
head now so you're engaging it and you're triggering it like i one time i thought this
guy was following me when i was driving around and because i thought he was following me i like
started kind of following him okay and then he stopped and he was like why the fuck you follow
me i was like fuck oh that's hilarious you know me? I was like, fuck. Oh, that's hilarious.
You know?
Like, what a dumbass, you know?
Look, maybe this guy here, look at me.
Like, maybe this guy is doing what I'm doing.
Like, be looking at me.
Watch.
What's up?
Like, that's, you know, you never know, you know?
The other thing I thought is maybe people are, like, attracted to him.
Yeah.
Like, man. Maybe he's like, maybe, honestly, maybe his prototype is a gay guy's dream and he's just
actually honestly a gay guy i know rather well looks exactly like him and it might be like you've
not realized it but you've dipped into like gay looking territory oh you know he does look pretty
clean and nice very the sweater i know he doesn't always wear the sweater but if he's wearing
shit like the sweater made me think that he had a really manicured beard
maybe like like edge out like get edgier you know that looks sloppier
yep and i bet it'll happen less get some fucking get a neck tattoo
you know what i mean maybe do it like me as long as it's the right thing yeah
because nobody thinks i'm gay and dude and that would be okay
if i was i think i'm gay people used to think
i was gay way more than they do now i had a guy one time get in the cab with me in new york
when i flagged it down i got in and this dude just opens the door slides in with me he's like
where do you want to go i was like get the fuck out of here wow even if you were gay like to sit
that's so forward and surprising hey we want to go to be like wow my house
yeah no it might have not been the right move even if i don't yeah i don't uh i've the the
amount i've been hit on by gay guys is so little yeah you don't seem very gay okay yeah i was gonna
ask that because i mean i'm talking about it's been so minimal.
I can't even believe it.
Maybe you're really ugly to gay guys.
No.
Because I've been hit on by guys.
Okay.
But I don't think I seem very.
I mean, maybe I do.
I don't know.
No, but I'm a good looking.
I got some shit going on.
No, I don't think gay guys would like you.
What?
Yeah, I think gay guys would like me a lot more.
You think though that it's probably because I'm. Gay probably comment and talk about who you like more all right so now that you said that it's
gonna be fucking they're gonna say you but it i'll take it a gay city like i straight up and you know
i know we joke around a lot but like i'll i will i would be really good at doing all the gay stuff
so now you can't say it but we can't say it on the podcast
but you know what i'm talking about so you're saying you would be good at being gay bjs so
and also just kind of taking care of okay so are you gay no but if i if i was i would really
go into it you'd be killing it you'd be killing it yeah dude because you know me man oh all of a
sudden oh i got you know i started getting tattoos i got all the tattoos right no yeah
addict mentality yeah yeah bro i mean the other day i was there's another one too oh i started
shopping getting stuff i couldn't stop oh god what a terrible thing i told you how bad i felt
after i was shopping i didn't realize you spent too much well what's too much i don't know probably what you did
maybe yeah yeah i don't know but i just like and in my head i was like i'll buy it i'll wear it on
stage it's okay and then i like i left and i was like what am i doing i got green pants those
pants were actually kind of cool they are gangster dude yeah they look like the riddler though kind
of which is fine but which is fine but i didn't get the jacket that goes with it then that would
have been terrible and there was also a hat with a big question mark on it.
All right.
Well, yeah, maybe.
First of all, what I would say is definitely you looking away is not you backing down and being weak.
You looking away is spending your time better.
Spending your time doing something else rather than looking at dudes in the eyes.
Why would you want to do that?
You're not gaining anything.
What if the other guy looks away you oh you won you're a fucking loser either way
dude you should go like this you should keep looking at him and when he looks away even though
he doesn't see you he hears you go yes dude i described that really good and funny oh okay well
glad you thought so about the thing you did. All right, next.
Me.
Hey, Chris.
I'm your brother, Matt.
Matt.
Yeah, what's up, Matt? Question.
I love this guy.
What do you guys do when your friend likes a girl,
but the girl actually likes you?
Oh, no.
Oh!
Came. Came so hard at the end
that was the last guy on the planet that looks like he would have a nose ring too
that guy killing it
you know the guy that reminded me of is Chris Moog
Marco
oh Chris Moog
oh yeah
Chris Moog
well
we love Chris Moog that is a chris mugg i don't do that's a that is a good question
i think you don't do anything unless you have feelings for the girl then then everything's
way complicated but if you just happen to know a girl likes you and if you're just trying to
get horizontal no no if you have no i'm just saying if a girl happens to know if you happen
to know a girl likes you
but your friend likes that girl and you're the only one that knows both of those things
bye i see what you're saying i don't necessarily disagree with that like don't get involved but
if you have feelings for her then there's a whole tangle coming and you better fucking straighten it
out with your friend before anything happens yeah because that's like that's direct falling out shit yeah so yeah if you don't
have feelings for her don't no harm not found don't say shit but if you do you're gonna want
to address it with your buddy before anything happens yeah damn it's crazy that is wild how
that shit happens that happens all the time yeah five years ago the same people five years ago i
would have fucked the woman and also the man.
Oh.
Yeah.
You're just sounding more and more gay as the show goes on.
Good.
Why?
Because you said because I went shopping?
No, because you said you fucked a guy five years ago.
But it's all good.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah.
If you don't have feelings for her, just leave it entirely alone.
uh yeah if you don't have feelings for just leave it entirely alone if you do and you plan on acting on it definitely talk to your friend first because that shit gets
so sticky so fast yeah talk about staring contest like that is not i don't if i have so if i was in
a situation where i liked a girl and the girl liked someone else which i suppose has happened
before right never happened to me not to me but i to be honest i don't remember a time where that's happened i'm
sure it's happened right to you too no not not me but uh if it's happened to you i could maybe
remember it but um so i i i don't imagine what i would do like i guess if i liked a girl and she liked
someone else and was my friend i guess that would it would be a thing that i would be like i would
have to get over right yeah but who cares because if someone doesn't like you then well that is of
the mind that i am like who gives a shit like if somebody doesn't like me then i'm like oh well
then what do you care i don't like them who else but also like if someone doesn't like you who do you care that they end up
with like they're not you're not gonna end up dating them so like they could end up dating
somebody you'd never met or your fucking second cousin it doesn't matter but you're talking as
a cool guy that has options okay fair enough you know what i mean like some guys are just like
right but that mindset the girl I like.
But that mindset
is important either way.
You're right.
And helpful either way.
You're right.
And it helps
to have that mindset.
So, you know,
whether you have
tons of options
or zero options,
it helps to have that mindset.
Right, true.
But she is the girl I like.
How about this?
How about this?
I saw her first.
Oh, the worst, dude.
I saw her first is actually genuinely sexist because it's taking the agency away from the fucking woman like it
only she's just like there yeah and whoever actually literally laid eyes on her first
that's all that matters like what about what she wants yeah that counts that counts yeah yeah uh That counts. That counts. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, no.
It's just don't let it get sticky.
If you have no feelings in the first place, then who cares?
It does seem like he has no feelings.
Yeah, but he is calling in, though.
True.
So he might have feelings.
All right.
Well, next one.
I like him, though.
Yeah, he is.
I like his angle.
I like his nose ring.
Hey, Matt and Chris.
So do to Cole.
What's up, dude?
This past week, I was staying at a resort with my girlfriend.
Of course you were.
Who was attending a conference with her coworkers.
Uh-oh.
And I hadn't met her coworkers yet, and I was not attending the conference.
This guy's such a good voice.
And so during the conference, her coworkers kept asking her, like, oh, when are we going to meet your boyfriend?
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy. And an inside joke developed between them where they would refer to me as something that's not my name but starts with the first letter of my name.
So, like, a different name entirely or, like, a noun, a random object.
So my girlfriend told me this, and I'm like, okay, whatever.
I don't care.
Yeah, of course. But then we were at a party on the last night of the conference and I finally met everyone and we're all sitting down at a table and they start this inside joke where they're calling me by something that's not my name.
That's so annoying.
And I didn't laugh because I didn't think it was funny.
Also, why would you laugh anyway?
And like, you know, I wanted them to like me, but I'm not going to laugh at something in which they're making fun of my name just so that they like me.
But like, it got awkward after that.
So I don't know.
I just wish there was something that I could have said that would have been funny, but then also would have put them in their place.
Because like, if you want to talk to me, call me by my name.
And if you're not going to i'm not going to talk
to you wow so deeper i know what you guys think we're getting to the root of the problem his dad
called him boy a lot you know hey boy i don't know what do we think i mean i think first of all
let it go bro it's not as serious as that at first i kind of was like with him and then i was like oh i'm deeper
yeah i'm with him until he starts caring that they called him that it's not that you shouldn't care
that he called you about that but you don't have to laugh and you shouldn't feel like you have to
laugh because all that is is annoying it's also and they shouldn't expect you to laugh because
it's not you're not on the inside of that joke yeah and also it's not funny yeah
there's nothing funny about it you have to laugh i mean i have a feeling like if it got awkward
if it got awkward then he wasn't just not laughing right he was like fuming he was like
my name is steve and they're calling me sax okay
my name's not socks my name's not simba okay that me Saks. Okay. My name's not Socks.
My name's not Simba.
Okay.
That's great.
Great.
I'm glad everybody's having a great time except me.
Anyway, I'm Steve.
Or he goes, funny.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
I mean.
I guess I'm just.
My name's Sunset now, huh, guys?
What it might have been is like.
So awkward. It wasn't so awkward but his
girlfriend was like why didn't you laugh when they said that you could why because women like
to complain and then also have the you make it about no no because she wanted it to go over and
everybody be friends with everybody and it's a deeper you and uh yeah i don't know man just let
it go and let it go. Let it go.
And it's not my name.
He was just like, and they're not saying my name.
And I just don't think it's funny.
And it got real awkward.
And so like just fucking fuming.
Just don't laugh.
Didn't eat at all.
Hasn't slept in days.
The whole time food just piled on.
Yeah, it's good food.
God, I wish we could see a video of it oh me too i wish try to take a video of it next time yeah it's gonna happen it's not
gonna happen again no no no no not with this world famous podcast oh not with the reaction that he had
i don't think they're gonna do it again yeah true right right right you know they're all scared
you know he has a great voice though you should have like a radio show or
something that guy's got a good voice you know what do radio fine do radio his voice is fine
you know that thing he's got a face for radio yeah that's not what i meant okay don't take it
this guy seems sensitive i don't want him to think he's ugly so i was on he calls into fucking bad
friends so i was on another podcast and they told me to do radio.
Is it because I'm ugly?
I mean, it's fine.
I just got real awkward after they said that.
I was in my car just alone, kind of like.
All right.
All right.
Matt and Chris.
Jubilant.
I needed places.
Jubilant.
Even the shirt is jubilant.
I absolutely love this podcast.
The painting too.
It is never not funny.
Thank you.
And the energy between the two of you is immaculate.
So I recently made the decision to pursue my doctorate in experimental psychology.
I'm currently 28 years old.
How sick is that?
And need another seven years of school.
Wow.
Very cool.
I went back to grad school late.
Wow. Very cool. Um, I went back to grad school late. So taking out student loans right now at this particular point in time is dumb. Okay. However,
that being said, I feel like I finally found the path that I want to go down. I love what I'm
studying. I'm good at it. And there is a demand for this particular field, but I cannot seem to
get over the fact that it means I have to slide into even
more depth than I am currently in just to finish this.
And I know that if I keep this mindset,
I'm not going to get through this program.
I have a very,
very long road ahead of me.
So I could use some motivation if you're up for it.
And any words of wisdom you have to offer in terms of reframing this in a more
positive mindset,
longterm, I could really hear right now too.
So thanks.
Love you both.
All right.
Let's just say you're $15,000 in debt now.
And if you take out student loans to finish this seven-year program of experimental psychology, I think is what she said, right?
Then at the end of that, you'll be thousand dollars yeah i'm just right we don't know
and then let's say you don't do it and in seven years you've paid off that fifteen thousand
dollars but it's just seven years have passed and you aren't shit yet that you want to be
it's always better to be,
once you graduate,
you can get a fucking sick ass job as someone with a degree in experimental psychology
and pay off 50 whatever thousand dollars it is
way easier than you can probably pay $15,000 off now
because you have a fucking degree
in a fucking sick department.
Like you can do shit with that degree.
And also,
in seven years if you don't do it, you're going back and be like ah what is debt who cares money's just money like i i should
have done the thing that i wanted to do as far as i see it you don't have a choice you have to do
that it's in front of you it's what you want to do it's what you can do and all you got to do is
go deeper into debt to get it like it's worth it that is worth it that things cost good things cost valuable prices for a reason
and this is just the cost of doing business to get what you want in this department do it
good things cost valuable prices um i think a jeweler you know, I think that the energy of which you started talking about it to the energy of which you ended in the video was drastically different.
And it's because of one thing.
You became a little bit negative while you were talking.
The positivity that you radiate and the jubilant nature that you have is what's going to propel you and get you through all of everything that you need to
and i don't know what the market's like in the job uh search of experimental uh psychology she
said it's like a it's a it's a market that like needs people to have degrees well i've had
experimental psychology right or psychiatry and um you know i know that the the people out there
you would have you're at least your vibe would have i would have really been it would have been
welcomed um because not everybody's like that there are a lot of good people that go into this
field because at least the people that i've i've uh yeah that's that manner isn't a given yeah yeah
yeah exactly um so i you know yeah i think matt's point is probably the best point i mean um the alternative
is a school i mean that sucks man you know and i don't know how easy it is for you to pay it off
per month or whatever it is per year but it'll be easier once you have the fucking degree that's
for damn right and if if the job is in demand and if it's going to be in demand and whenever you're
done then and if you think that that looks promising, then I say you do it. Yeah, dude.
Yeah.
Remember when you called me a jeweler?
I just didn't appreciate it.
And I didn't laugh.
And I don't know.
I don't know what it's going to be like.
That's okay, man.
I don't know what it's going to be like moving forward with you as my brother.
It'll be fine, probably.
I can't believe I'm 43.
You want to try some of this cake or no?
Sure.
Live pips?
Yeah.
Live pips.
But don't we fly high.
Look how I do it.
I'm looking.
A little bit further with the fork.
An infomercial. Oh see yeah just like that we're able to make a nice clean piece of cake how much would a thing that cuts cake really efficiently be a thing that there's an infomercial for oh yeah
what's good is that we have plates you know i'm talking about no oh yeah we don't
oh that's the piece I want, too.
I was going to grab it from you, but it's all good.
Where's my piece?
Was it good?
Yeah. Well, here's the thing about you.
You don't usually like things that are good. You like
shitty things. This is good
or this is like the kind of shitty thing
you like?
You're going to like it. So it it's not good you don't like it
no yeah okay i knew it yeah okay uh all right here here here here let's see if i'm right all right
let's see if i'm right oh wow stab it in the back of your throat
wow that's sweet.
That's good though.
Yeah.
It's pretty sweet.
Too early to eat that, but it's good.
Yeah, it's 6 a.m. right now.
Yeah.
And then you got me this.
This is so heavy.
Yeah, it looks heavy.
It's like a bulletproof vest.
I need to get one of those.
A bulletproof face mask?
Why don't they have those?
Oh.
Yeah, I thought it was going to be like...
Come on, bro.
Well, you're not supposed to open them
until you're ready to use them.
They're all like fucking squirty.
They're supposed to be.
He said, try it on.
Oh.
Hey, look.
Squirty, you know?
Try it on.
Swat right up.
They're like wet naps and shit, right?
Dude, I thought that was a... I thought it was like a COVID face mask
No
Oh wow
Anthony dude
This entire time I was like why'd you get him a face mask
Anthony
That's so stupid dude
Wow Anthony's laughing
I'm getting pissed off looking at you open that
Dude it's so hot
Don't put it on your...
You got sunglasses on.
Yeah, so I'll have to...
Well, now my hands are all wet.
Can you do it?
Shit, Keanu.
I'm going to break out.
I'm going to break out.
We have a fucking red rash.
It's special.
Oh, my God.
Oh, Hannibal Lecter, straight up.
Okay.
This straight up does nothing
all right there's no way this yeah there's no way that does shit
it smells really good though okay well now you have 29 enjoy them yeah
yeah dude it looks bad it even looks disgusting on your hand when you have the liquid on it dude
this thing sucks dude you got all over your face now.
It looks like you got fucking C-Jabby all over there.
I got to wash my face.
All right.
Yeah.
Well, let's end the show.
Thanks, everybody, for coming on the Lifeline.
We love you.
Happy birthday, Chris.
Thanks.
And then also, come see me in Ohio.
Hopefully, the rash will be gone by then.
ChrisDelia.com.
MattDelia.com if you want one-on-one with me.
Privacy guaranteed.
And we got the new merch, the LifelineMerch.com.
And if you have a question, click the link below.
Or what's the other way to do it?
Ask Lifeline.
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Ask Lifeline?
WatchLifeline.com.
Thank you, everybody. Hopefully Chris doesn't have a rash for his big special ask lifeline ask lifeline watch lifeline.com uh thank you everybody
uh
hopefully Chris doesn't have a rash
for his big special
coming up in a couple days
and
and next time we see you
he will have shot
his special
oh and look here he is
do you want to say something
before we go
yeah I got a little bit
of that stuff in my eye
and now I can't like
really see on the right
you can't see
okay
now we can't see
so
I'll be blinding
so much rash when I shoot this.
So foreign.
Okay.
We got the new merch.
Buy your purple before it goes out of stock.
Before it goes out of business, guys.
You know, that's going to be the hot seller.
All right.
Love you guys.
Hot seller in the basement.
See you next week.
See you, guys.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?