Lifeline - 65. Four Days After the Splurt
Episode Date: July 9, 2023Hate all the advice? LIFELINE LUXURY is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. NEW EPISODE TODAY! 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 ☎️ You can also call the h...otline at 213-973-8095 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. Today we discuss choosing between someone you get along with vs. someone you have good sex with, how to politely be a coffee snob, how to deal with needing constant validation, how to discuss living in your truck with a potential mate, and how to influence people how are above you. 📆 Book 20 min or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline 💃 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Okay.
What's up?
What's up, dude?
You know, Welcome to Lifeline is the world's greatest podcast,
and you can scientifically prove that, so do not argue,
and say you agree in the comments.
They do agree.
And then say you agree, and then I'll respond,
and I'll say I agree with you agreeing with me.
You know what?
I added a Sunday show in Las Vegas. i'm going to be in vegas soon um i'm going to do it's not
necessarily the don't push me tour i'm going to be out there i'm going to be doing all sorts of
different stuff i'm not going to do my normal tour i'm going to do new stuff and different stuff and
some of the tour but yeah is that interesting yeah but it's not really about anything to do
with what i said but it's cool when about anything to do with what I said,
but it's cool.
When you say new stuff, you mean like Carrot Top,
you're going to have the treasure chest up on stage?
Yeah, it is Vegas, so I'm going to do that, yeah.
You mean just for the Vegas show?
What?
You're going to not do?
Well, it's at a club, so it's not at a big theater,
so I'm doing it to come up with new stuff.
Oh.
I'm not going to do all new stuff.
I'm still going to do some of the don't
push me stuff but i want to give myself a small a smaller audience so i can do test stuff out if i
want to right so anyway i'll be there go to chris leah.com but i'll also be in charlotte
knoxville um and a bunch of different other places uh nashville montreal go check it out
little rock arkansas i always forget about
that one for good reason but i'm gonna be in little arkansas for the first time um got a
question go to watch lifeline.com dude and i forgot the hoodie i was gonna wear the hoodie
today the lifeline merch you mess up my merch.com it's very cool um uh one-on-one with me, mattdalia.com. Book it. Book it, baby.
And also the Patreon, patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury.
It's absolutely killing, and we love it, and it's a good time,
and it's me and Matt bantering,
and we come out with a bunch of episodes a month,
and it's cool, man. It's worth it.
Shaking it up, huh?
Yeah.
What's that about?
This is Magic Mind.
Oh, I love Magic Mike.
No, not Magic Mike.
That's the movie? Nope. This, I love Magic Mike. No, not Magic Mike. That's the movie?
Nope.
This is the movie Magic Mike.
Wow.
It's so much smaller and real physical material than I thought.
Okay, go ahead.
Channing Tatum is so good in this.
This is really good.
I drink it with my coffee and I'm sharper for it.
So there we go.
You want to know a story?
Oh, my God.
And that's the cool thing about those little bottles is that you can...
Here, look.
So bad.
Bad promo.
Look.
Good promo, though.
Well, let me do good promo.
Bad promo, but good promo.
Look.
I go like this.
I'm doing my magic of mine.
So, bitch.
No, I don't like that part.
But that's the cool thing about those bottles.
You can do that anywhere.
You can do this anywhere, too.
Yeah, I guess so. But anyway. But that's the cool thing about those bottles. You can do that anywhere. You can do this anywhere too. Yeah, I guess so.
But anyway, so that's what's going on, dude.
Remember when you did this fake slate?
Yeah, I do.
Okay.
I was in college.
I was in a short film with this like, I was, I guess it was, I was the co-lead with this
one guy.
Making it up, a dream.
And the guy was like super religious
and he like made it known.
Okay.
Which means that if you're in a group of people
and that person's there, no one's allowed to have fun.
Do you know what I mean?
Cause everyone's like, he made it known.
I don't want to like.
Man, that just sucks.
It's totally sucked.
The guy sucked.
Yeah, he sucks.
I don't like him.
And because it was a college thing and a short film,
everybody was like sleeping in one house,
six people in a room or whatever.
King K. Yeah. And that guy was in the room i was sleeping in and he was even annoying like when we would go
to sleep what do you mean like how just like policing everyone's language and stuff oh god
yeah yeah yeah yeah so it was yeah yeah yeah it was we were shooting in maryland and it was
everything about this is awful dead of winter Everything about this is awful. The dead of winter. Everything about this is awful.
It was terrible, dude.
We stayed there for a whole-
The director was Babadook.
We stayed there for a whole weekend,
because I was in it so much, because I'm a star, really.
Okay.
And the director knew that and cast me because I'm a star.
Zinzi, how you doing? we were both acting in this one scene,
me and the religious guy,
at like 2 or 3 a.m.
It was like-
Everything about this awful.
It was like two degrees.
Everything about this awful.
We had a wardrobe on that wasn't like for winter.
I had like cowboy boots and like a vest.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
Okay, so-
Leave.
I would have leave.
And it was all wet.
Water was seeping through my boots.
Oh, that's amazing.
Great.
Anyway, so we're in there and everybody's getting frustrated.
The religious guy's getting frustrated because he's always frustrated.
At least he can turn to God.
You know?
And we're like rushing to do a take and nobody's a pro because it's college.
And the slate, the girl doing slate, who I don't even remember who it was, was like hurrying
and did it.
And I wasn't really paying attention. It was a closeup on him. So it was like in front of him and did it and and i wasn't really paying attention it was
a close-up on him so it was like in front of him and i'm just like getting my shit ready and then
all of a sudden i just hear okay slate and then and then ah and i look over dude he had got his
nose clamped in the slate yeah because it was like and it just got it pinched him right here and he was like
and he was saying all like non-curse words that are replaced yeah yeah yeah yeah eat my shorts
what the flip you know oh my gosh dude that's hilarious and that was honestly i think about
all the time yeah yeah i would too now now that's how you know that god was on your side yeah well
or yeah right exactly or he's praying to the wrong wrong god muhammad's up there just like I would too. Now that's how you know that God was on your side. Yeah. Well, or, yeah, right.
Exactly.
Or he's praying to the wrong God.
Muhammad's up there just like.
Yeah.
Or God's just like, can you stop, dude?
Just stop talking.
Stop trying to get everybody on board.
And then God just goes like this and nudges the little.
Right.
Oh, sorry.
Blew a wind and she's like.
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
Was it all red?
Oh, dude.
It was already red.
So it turned like purple almost.
They needed to do more makeup.
Wow, dude.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
What did the lady say?
I mean, I was dying.
I don't even know if she knew.
Like she was hurrying around so much and the clap, it did make the sound.
So I don't think she was even like.
And he goes, ouch.
I mean, it was such a surprise you know but yeah
that's it was a great surprise i always wonder if that happens like that i wonder what the who
the because it's definitely happened before oh yeah i wonder who the biggest star it's ever
happened to it's just like tom cruise you know oh my god the flip and he flips out who would get
the most mad russell crowe dude russell crowe would get quiet mad make sure the person's fired and then
also do other stuff after that to the person like like psychologically oh oh yeah not physically
no no no no he would do physical stuff like throwing stuff but not at the person
but like he would he would go like they would go and he'd go and then and then later on after the day's over he's like i don't think that she's right for the
job like she's good he's australian though she's careless i don't think she's guessing she's
careless yeah and then uh she would get fired and then we'd go home and he would be like at home and
he would just like be online and like he'd be like online dude never been online in his
life dude i heard that russell crowe is so mad so mad at um uh people asking him about gladiator 2
you know how they're doing another gladiator movie? Oh, yeah. And obviously he's not in it because he's dead.
And he's fat.
Right.
No, but he could be the teacher or something.
Okay.
But I heard that he's like, I should be getting paid.
One of his quotes is, I should be getting paid with how much people are asking me about fucking Gladiator 2.
I'm sure he thinks he should be getting paid because he made it so iconic.
It wouldn't be worth anything to remake in the first place if he wasn't in it.
Sure.
He was in it.
You know, oh, no, come on.
Pedro Pascal's in it?
Oh, of course.
I mean, of course, the most of course.
Denzel Washington.
Wait, what?
I heard Denzel.
Yep, I heard that.
Is he the guy that it's about?
I don't know.
Because if it's a Denzel movie, you know I'm first in line.
I don't think it's a Denzel movie.
I mean, why would he do it?
Denzel's getting to the age where it's just like,
although they're doing Equalizer 3 now, right? Dude, there's so many yeah so i guess so many equalizer movies and now this i
gotta see it now i was never gonna see this but now denzel's in it well they have they've got
big actors in it which i thought if they're gonna make a gladiator 2 or whatever the hell it's
gonna be called um i would i would have thought that it would have been the lower tier one.
No, but if Ridley's directing, it's like a prestige sequel.
It's not like you crack. Ridley Scott's done some awful shit.
But people don't think that.
People in Hollywood still think Ridley Scott is like one of the greatest legendary filmmakers.
He's directing, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What has he done lately?
Go to...
He recently did the the the movie
about the fashion people
Gucci
House of Gucci
oh is that good
no
that looked bad
I didn't see it
the last duel
tanked
he literally hasn't been good
since like
the late 70s
it's crazy
Donut King
oh this is
this is producing
yeah
Anthony messed it up
by not doing just what he directed
well yeah
and Anthony messes up
a lot of stuff Anthony messed up he was taking too long to respond to us on text today
so that there's that he also said that uh i said it how he said dead reckoning is going to be a big
hit and i said yeah because it's an established franchise and tom cruise is in it and he said
i said and i said that always make means that something's going to do well and he said the
flash was an established franchise and it bombed and and it wasn't. And it wasn't an established franchise at all.
But he was saying that it's a DC thing
that they tried to establish in the Justice League.
Right, which is not at all the same thing.
It's not, but I understand what he was trying to say.
I do too, but just because you understand it doesn't make it.
He was just crying.
But Michael Keaton's Batman was in it, you know?
A different argument. Yeah, no, that wouldn't count. But Michael Keaton's batman was you know a different argument yeah no that wouldn't that
wouldn't count but yeah but michael keaton's batman in it but uh so yeah you got you were
wrong so anyway so it's all good that you were wrong did you read did you see the marsh explain
alien covenant then what's that that bombed that's an established franchise true but they didn't have
the time already that had already
fallen off though true just because something's a sequel doesn't mean it's going to be a hit
no that's not the only reason but if that had tom cruise in it it would be a it would have been a
massive hit yeah it wouldn't matter i mean remember when tom cruise actually hit a speed bump in his
career no and he was in the mummy oh yeah remember that everyone was like is tom cruise over and he
was just like i'll'll do Mission Impossible 6.
No.
You know?
Yeah.
And then he made Mission Impossible his little thing.
Speaking of which, wasn't Russell Crowe in that?
The Mummy?
Yeah, he was going to be Van Helsing or something.
They were trying to set up the whole universe, you know?
Oh, really?
Yeah, I saw it.
It was so bad.
Dude, I saw it too.
I don't even remember Russell Crowe.
He was like Dr. Frankenstein or something.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
Anyway, yeah, so that's what's up.
I want Russell Crowe to get back into real acting again.
Like when he wasn't just like a movie star that showed up.
Yeah, but there was Gladiator.
There was The Insider.
Yeah, The Insider is like, he looks great.
But that's it though, really.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
He was-
What else was he good in?
Well, I mean, there's the stuff that...
LA Confidential, the stuff that got him over to the States in the first place.
Oh, right, right, right, right, right.
In Australia.
Yeah.
But LA Confidential was big, huge.
I mean, that's what kind of made him a star.
Right, right, right.
Wasn't Master and Commander?
Master and Commander was a big one.
That movie was such a big hit.
It was?
Master and Commander?
Yeah, dude.
That was like the day when you... It was still like big male action stars. I didn't know that that movie was a big hit. It was? Master and Commander? Yeah, dude. That was like the day when you,
it was still like
big male action stars
in historical epics.
I didn't know
that that movie
was a big hit.
Yeah, Peter Weir
directed that shit, dude.
It's a good movie.
God, he's been in everything, huh?
He was really falling off
around Body of Lies
and then that State of,
what is that one that,
State of Life.
Oh my God, State of Life.
Proof of Life.
I think Proof of Life
was a big hit too.
That was after.
Cinderella Man was just like,
that's when he started going down.
Really?
It wasn't big?
No.
How do you know?
310 of Yuma was big.
Because it was a bomb.
Virtuosity, my favorite.
He's amazing in that too.
My favorite Russell Crowe film.
I do love Virtuosity.
I really do.
All right.
Well, anyway,
enough talking about Russell Crowe.
No, this is the Russell Crowe podcast.
Russell Crowe cast?
Yeah.
Crowe cast?
If he had a podcast called Crowe cast, oh my God.
I bet he does, dude.
I bet he does.
And he only had Cameron Crowe on it.
And then the real Crowe.
And the black Crowes.
Ah!
Yeah.
What do you think, Crowe?
Ah!
All right, so let's go into some stuff here.
Yeah, let's do it.
Yeah, all right, cool.
What else?
What, what, what?
We'll talk about stuff for Lifeline Luxury.
We'll go to Lifeline Luxury.
But patreon.com, Lifeline Luxury. Patreon.com. Lifeline Luxury.
All right.
Chris and Matt.
I'm a shitter.
That's good.
I sent a video in a while ago about gambling addiction.
Oh, yeah.
I was shirtless.
And as you can see, I got that shirt back.
There we go.
All right.
No, but I made that video long before I submitted it.
I had some friends that are fans of yours that were like, submit it.
It'll be on the show.
And I was like, all right. I've submitted it before. It probably that are fans of yours that were like submit it it'll be on the show and i was like all right i've submitted before it probably won't be yeah here you are sure everyone submitted a lot of videos and then it was on father's day and i
was like fuck i need to rectify this so between the time i actually recorded that video and now
this is spans months i have started a company with my friend and i make a quarter million
dollars a year roughly and i haven't gambled and gambling wasn't really about money more than it
was about maybe i was drinking so i'm good at poker online and i would drink and get home and
get on my phone and like yeah put 200 bucks tablet and sometimes win like $5,000 or lose it or whatever.
Keep going, keep going.
You know how it is.
I do.
But to run this company and be successful as we are,
I had to put drinking on the back burner.
With that, the urge and the need to play poker online
or to gamble has diminished completely.
I have no urge.
I don't care.
I've been addicted to multiple things historically,
different drugs and stuff.
And I knew that alcohol was a substitution
and then gambling on top of that was another one.
And removing the drinking
and just being hard pressed about removing it
took away that like potential loss
of money with gambling and stuff like that.
So I'm good good just so you know
but to answer questions chris yes i did try to stop when i was drinking and i couldn't stop
gambling or drinking so it took the measures of the initial thing to stop and no matt i didn't
bet 50 or 60 thousand dollars like you thought in the last video, I said that I had made 40 to $60,000,
uh,
profit in two years playing poker.
I probably bet 10 grand over the course of two years and made 60 grand.
So it was like good,
but sometimes the swings would be like 800 or a thousand or 2000 and I
wouldn't have money for what I needed.
So yes,
Chris,
I have lost money that I've needed,
but that's all done now.
And I'm in a place where my family's fed. Everything's good. I have no need. I have lost money that I've needed. Right. But that's all done now. And I'm in a place where my family's fed.
Everything's good.
I have no need.
I have extra money.
No need to ask for more money on gambling.
And no need to drink.
Yeah.
So I think I'm in a place now where maybe I'm fortunate or maybe I just have a good
head on my shoulders to walk away from it.
But just wanted you to know.
Cool.
Your advice was spot on.
And I'm good.
Thanks, bud.
Thank you, guys.
You know what? Yeah. just wanted you to know cool your advice was spot on and i'm good thanks but thank you guys you know
what yeah just uh yeah uh stay awake and don't get too comfortable but i will say though we were
just talking about this man like so weird that uh addiction it just permeates into other stuff if
you don't keep yourself in check you know like if you have that is very true yeah if you have a
gambling addiction and then you get get you you you just stop gambling and you don't like do the recovery work it could you know morph into
uh drinking or uh or or sex or online or porn or whatever it is um blasting hookers in an alleyway
whatever the the thing is you know what i mean that yeah um but yeah that that that is uh really um
you got to get to the root of it which i you know i i always think you know it's just about
what happened to you and when you were younger and what you got you didn't get what you needed and
and you're using these things to cope and some are not so healthy and gambling is not so healthy
and drinking is not so healthy um but yeah i i uh but that's good
dude you got your shirt back and that's great and it sounds like this guy's super successful
it sounds like yeah when i was in rehab man everybody also had addictions with other shit
too it was like and i mean i'm talking about like you know there were people in there for
what they thought was a sex addiction that they which which was but then they realized that it was and
you know this guy's one guy's addicted to uh violence like there was a guy who was addicted
to violence and there was a guy who was addicted to like you know these intrusive thoughts of you
know i was in rehab and one time the guy a guy said to me uh um you ever get like thoughts about
like killing people and i was like no no no you know and he was
like yeah he's like i've always had a fantasy of just like holding somebody's head underwater in
a sink and like just and like just killing them that way and i was like huh oh my god i was like
huh that's an interesting thing to bring up as somebody you don't know extremely i was like ah
i just i just fucked too much but yeah that's i mean, he, he, I knew him really well because it was,
I was there for a little while.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, and I was like, what is it about that?
And he was like, just the intimacy of like them
almost being able to get out, but they can't.
And I was like, that's, that's what makes me upset about it.
Yeah, no shit.
Not.
Also, if I told you what he did for a living,
you'd be shocked.
I'll tell you off air.
Okay.
But it's unbelievable.
You're like, oh, oh, you're out there.
You guys are out there yeah
maybe i don't want to know yeah well i'll let it i'll let it i'm gonna tell you no matter what so
yeah but um so anyway so that kind of stuff is like addiction is it it's very uh pervasive right
so there you go it's like uh spilled water it'll always find the crack you know you gotta make sure
you don't spill the water bruce lee addiction is like spilling water i made him english at the end it just gets into my
all right all right next one hey matt and chris love your show i listen every single week
discuss it with my sisters every single week oh cool guys um you guys have the same
exact humor as me and my sisters do.
And we're all around the same age.
So you reference a lot of the inside jokes that we had growing up and movies and stuff.
So it's really cool to listen to you guys every week and share that with each other.
I am submitting this video about episode 62, Love and Life.
Matt, you sang this song, Love and Life.
You mentioned that you can't remember where you heard this song from.
I believe I know which song you're talking about.
It's from a movie from the 90s called House Guest with Phil Hartman
and Sinbad. This is it.
Oh my God! oh my god dude and let me know dude that's it oh my god dude oh my god is that really what it is yes dude i couldn't i couldn't hear what she said love and and Life, House Guests with Phil Hartman and Sinbad?
Yep.
I mean, I've watched that movie many, many, many times.
I know, so it must be that.
I know.
That movie is fucking hilarious, right?
Yeah, dude.
That movie is very funny.
All right, let's see.
When Sinbad's in the dentist, has to act like he's a dentist.
Yeah, that part's so funny, yeah.
But we can't play this on here.'re gonna get demonetized right here we go
well the two of the funniest people dude i know truly ever look at hartman
dude that's crazy that you've been seeing that so much forever and that's what it's from
how loving life loving life okay whoever i don't
think she said her name write to me on instagram and i want to thank you that is amazing dude you
did it thank you she did how the like how she even said it growing up with the same thing same
inside yeah yeah maybe one of her sisters was like what's that one thing this goes like love
and life and her sister was like oh it's from houseguest how did she giving her sister the credit but how did she she's a genius but how did how do you
remember that that's so weird that that but we remember weird stuff though i know i know i know
but this it just reaches it just shows goes to show you how massive this podcast is yeah number
one podcast in the world yeah it is um wow that's crazy she really did do it that was it literally
been trying to figure that out.
Yeah, for a long time.
Way over a decade.
Oh, dude, you've been always sending voice notes.
Love and life.
Dude, and you and Chris, everybody always thought it wasn't a real song.
Yeah, I just thought you were making it up like an idiot.
No, I mean, I do that.
Wow, that's so bad.
There's a song called Love and Life, you know?
Dude, it's my favorite song.
Now I know how to listen to it.
Now you can listen to it in the car and stuff?
Yeah, dude.
Love and life, love and life.
I can set my alarm in the morning to it.
Wow, so 90s, that whole thing.
Wow, the whole thing when they were doing that.
Yep.
Oh, wow.
Remember that?
Oh, dude.
Everybody did that in like,
it was the most Chevy Chase thing in the world, you know?
Oh, wow.
You know what?
Fletch sucked.
Okay, next.
Fletch did suck. did suck and also so did
everything chevy chase ever did except the vacation thing like that's his thing but dude he's not
oh really guy really yeah i like him in that paul simon video but that's nothing
it's not it's just him goofing off something is nothing yeah all right cool speaking for
harman all right in caddyshack what what the fuck did you just say to me isn't chevy chase and uh i don't i actually don't know i don't know probably
makes sense but it's robert rodney dangerfield robert dangerfield rodney dangerfield um bill
murray uh that's who i'm thinking of never mind okay jackie mason's in it i mean a bunch of people
so many comedians perry mason i bet chevy's also in it jim belushi's in it. I mean, a bunch of people. So many comedians. Perry Mason. I bet Chevy's also in it.
Jim Belushi's in it, right?
I don't know.
John, sorry.
Perry Mason and Jim Belushi.
All right, cool.
Next one.
So Australian.
What's up, you guys?
This is Patrick from San Diego.
Before I get started, I just want to say thank you for doing the podcast.
You two are some of the funniest people I know.
Hell yeah.
And I even used to listen to love line a
lot when i was younger so for you two to come together and kind of recreate that has been
amazing uh my question today is about my girlfriend she is the absolute love of my life
but sometimes she can get a little carried away with her obsessive tendencies and uh superstitions
to be particular.
She gets in the car the other day and tells me that she's been researching superstitions.
Oh, no.
And that she would like to start following the one that says that you're not supposed to whistle indoors.
Because you don't know what type of entities you may be summoning with your whistling.
That's not.
Yeah, that's not something.
I mean, I am a very musical person. whistle all the time right so i felt a little you know taken aback by this statement yeah um
deal breaker please let me know any advice you guys have for that particular thing as well as
i have any advice you have for living with somebody who has those kind of obsessive
tendencies and may you know lean into them yeah uh more than you do
um let me know you know thank you look here's the here's the here's the here's the deal if you
are prone to being superstitious don't know go into the world and look for more hundred percent
they always get in the way don't google it they're not genuine they're not genuine like
you don't go get someone else's superstitions you have your own ones that you wish you didn't have yeah but you have them
and you hate them and that's that's how it is though you got to have a strict rule sweetie
don't go looking for more problems you're not going to google fucking you're not going to google
superstitions i mean like oh there are no more more they're gonna have a bunch of them after that yeah and whistling indoors is fine dude oh no i know but it's just it's just so silly and that's
a big problem and she needs to i call it the nipping in the bud what you want to do is you
got to just if you really want to just make it stop, you want to say it's exactly like fill in the blank about a thing that she hates.
And I'm sure you can find it, whether that's like religion or any kind of like groupthink or kind of illogical thing that she isn't into.
All you want to do is compare it to that and say they're the exact same thing.
And that could
work because also you're not lying it's not like a strategy to like gas no yeah there's no that's
just true you know i mean so don't walk on the try to make it try to make her understand that
it is completely empty of meaning entirely that's not gonna help uh and and... I mean, look, you're not going to change her
mind, but you have to at least change
her mind about what you do.
Also, exposure therapy, so just whistle more in the
house. It's not going to do that.
Only in houses where there's demons that will be
bad, though. You don't want to just whistle.
You want to make sure that you have the kind of
whistle that brings out... Summons?
Yeah. You got to
really nip this in the bud. If you don't,'t be loving life loving life we can't even call it actually
we could call it love and life part two this episode no we can't we could but we're not we
could franchise love and life we could make it a universe yeah the love and then make the love and
life podcast yeah we would actually be so big it'd be like like Marvel. You're like DC. So yeah, I don't know.
I mean, that's horrible,
but she's got to get help for that
because that sucks.
And that's a mental...
It's OCD, really, is what it is.
That's a very...
I've got to be honest.
I've never known anyone who's like,
I'm a superstitious person.
Let me go out into the world
and I'm like a vessel for superstition.
Let me just like find other
superstitions and then i'll like live my life according to those that is she's gonna eventually
just never leave her right that's a recipe for being an actual recipe for disaster is a agoraphobe
what is that agoraphobia um so they're afraid of agorahills stupid don't ever fucking say that to me again both laughs um so so yeah i i that's
being obsessive about that shit is i don't it is so weird that she would want to go out and find
more because the truth is frankly i hate that stuff so much exactly that i don't want to know
more stuff. Yeah.
Right?
I'll turn off a TV show if it's going to be like triggering for me and my OCD or something
like that.
She's playing with fire.
Ask her why she's playing with fire.
Why would she be playing with fire?
Honey, why are you playing with fire?
Sweetie, listen.
I don't understand why there's a bunch of fire around you playing with it.
Let's discuss.
And then get into it.
And then you could be, love and life, love and life.
Now that's a real song,
I could sing it.
See?
Yeah.
I knew it all along.
I feel so vindicated.
That's my wife.
That's my wife?
The woman
who said what the song was,
we're married.
Oh, okay.
Really?
Not now, we're married, yeah.
Already?
Now, after she...
That's like basically
you went to a ceremony.
I haven't asked her yet.
I don't know her name yet.
But it's official.
I don't know where she is.
I don't know anything about her,
but we're married. Okay. Cool. I know where she is i don't know anything about her but we're married okay cool so i wonder where she is yeah me too actually i love
you guys love the podcast uh chris i will see you in hamilton in september yeah we're excited
um so i'm looking for your guys's advice on how to tell my parents it's time to put down a family
dog um he is 19 years old.
I love him to death.
I have him tattooed on my arm.
I'm 28, so he's been around for my entire life pretty much.
But he is blind.
He's deaf.
He has dementia.
He doesn't have any teeth.
He attacks everybody because he doesn't know where he is or who we are.
He barely eats, so he's like skin and bones. Yeah, of course.
Oh, my God. And, yeah, the quality of life is just like not that
great anymore but my parents are in complete denial um i no longer live at home and i have
my own dog so i've been trying to kind of like tell them what i'm seeing from the outside but
they're just like complete denial yeah and i don't want to be the person that's like pushing
to kill the family dog but i also know that like it might be the responsible thing to do to put him down and his quality of life isn't
that great right now so yeah I'm just looking for advice on how to kind of make them see that
um yeah I'd appreciate it okay so let me ask you a question why is it responsible to kill the dog
what why is it responsible to kill the dog well that's going to be baked into my advice so let me just make it all of this okay so you clearly love this dog and everyone knows that especially your
parents you literally have the dog tattooed on your arm you grew up with a dog the dog's basically
a fucking family member to you specifically at this point not that it's a competition but you
could make a case that you are the most attached this Remind your parents how deep your love is for this dog, how much you want it to live
forever, even though that's unrealistic, all of that.
And say, as that person who loves our dog so much, I see it in pain and it's never going
to get better.
In fact, it's only going to continue to get worse, which it has been doing for a long time now.
And as someone who loves the dog,
I have to put forth the idea
that I think it's the better thing to do
to put the dog out of its misery.
More humane.
It's more humane.
And in fact, what you're doing,
now this is where you gotta be really careful,
but in plain English to you, not you don't this is where you gotta be really careful but in plain English
to you
not you to them
they're being
extremely selfish
they're not
actually caring
for the dog
there's a threshold
there's a tipping point
where at some point
it's like you're
keeping the dog alive
just for you
and the dog would rather
be out of its misery
that is where you're at now
for sure
what you just described
is well beyond any dog
that I've ever put down
and I've had to put dogs down
that I love very much
because their life sucks, dude.
It's like they're in hell
and ending their life
would take them out of hell
and into vast nothingness
that is like way better than hell.
What about if I'm, well, okay, so let me be devil's advocate.
Alive isn't better than everything.
Let me just, that's the point.
Vote for me.
Alive isn't better than everything.
Vote for me, governor of California.
I think that, okay, let me play devil's advocate.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, if the dog didn't like his life so much,
why doesn't it commit suicide?
Only because it doesn't have thumbs what could jump off a building not if it can't get into a building it could poison itself not if it can't obtain poison you see what i'm saying you need
to get hang it's up no needs thumbs yeah it could buy a gun no needs car needs a car to get it
yeah that's not why but yeah yeah no i dude car dog can't shoot itself
because it needs to drive right to the gun store uh yeah okay so all right you're you're completely
right too what about let that guide your uh approach like you are absolutely correct that dog
hates living right now why doesn't it's only alive it's only alive because
your parents make it be why doesn't it walk into oncoming traffic maybe they live in a rural area
or it's blind and it can't it doesn't know where it is that usually hearing is deaf exactly there
you go maybe it's hearing's gone how about you next time you go over run the dog over and pretend
it's by mistake it's like the sopranos i don't know what happened i don't know nothing yeah or do it
and say there it's done it never needs to happen again i don't want to talk about it and then play
love and life love and life yeah dude you're in the right it is a righteous decision to do that
it's it's not a good one not an easy one so yeah they. They'll respect you if you really come at them like, look.
I don't know.
Then again, if you just think animals are there to make human lives better,
then I guess they should just hold on to it until it expires on its own.
Get it taxidermied.
But if you're asking, I mean, she's not asking this.
She knows what the most humane thing is.
It's just about the approach.
You want to approach it from a place of making sure
that you are repeatedly reminding them
that they don't love the dog more than you do.
You're coming from a place of love.
Also, you can offer to go do it,
so they don't have to do it.
Dude, when I was...
I don't know if it's about the act of...
Okay, yeah, I get it.
But yeah, that's a good idea.
I can do 10 pull-ups now. I'm sorry a good idea I can do 10 pull ups now I'm so
Sorry what?
I can do 10 pull ups now
That
When I started back working out
I could only do 4
Okay
So that's fucking
A huge improvement very quickly
Absolutely heartless though
You know what I mean?
We were talking about
Someone's family dog dying
And that's tragic
I'm just trying to add some levity dude
But yeah I do feel for you
That's rough That sucks That's rough rough No No that's tragic i'm just trying to add some levity dude but yeah i do feel for you that's rough yeah that's that's rough rough no no that's heartless okay now that was the most
heartless thing that ever happened on this podcast by the way okay next good luck what up matt what
up chris coming to you live from the home depot i'm just on lunch break right now i just came
across a video that i was in episode 21 so much coke i was asking um budgeting questions on how
um i should budget once i transfer to texas tech so much and um was asking um budgeting questions on how um i should budget
once i transfer to texas tech so much and um matt gave me the advice of getting a job and
one thing i didn't mention was i had a job at the time which is the same one i do here at home
depot um but i'm just so bad at giving detail but uh so yeah i'm somebody told me there
just checking in on that.
I'm good.
But I have another question for y'all.
So this girl that I've known basically my whole life goes to Texas tech, um, and is
in our friend group.
She had just recently told me her feelings that she has for me.
And uh, like she wants to like, I guess start a relationship or something.
And I told her, um, that i wasn't ready for a relationship and i guess i just want
more advice on how to go about this whole situation because obviously y'all know better
so thank you well he obviously hit it already no i don't think so i think he hit it you don't
think he would have said that he's he leaves details out i mean fair enough but if
he's not saying that part he's a moron because that is essential that is an essential he hit
it already otherwise he wouldn't be saying he'd be like should i i don't know you know or he just
does not attracted to her at all i thought that that's what i thought okay like he's just not
really like right that's not really it's also college, bro. But if you want the thing to say,
like the best thing to say,
because...
And I'm assuming at least a little bit of it is true.
And if a little bit of it is true,
when it comes to either hurting
or not hurting someone's feelings,
it's okay to say something that is like a little bit true.
But I think you want to not...
You want to say that you don't want to mess with the friendship.
Yeah. You've known someone your whole life and now she wants to start a relationship? I think you want to say that you don't want to mess with the friendship.
Yeah.
You've known someone your whole life, and now she wants to start a relationship?
It's a completely valid reason to be like, well, I don't want to rock that boat.
It's good.
It's also dead wrong to just be like, I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship.
That's stupid.
Yeah.
Just be like, I don't want to mess up the friendship, dude.
If you think you might, just say, sweetie, let's test out the fuck.
Let's give it a test ride.
Let's test out the horizontal mambo.
Let's see if we like it.
You know, I'll push inside you.
We'll thrust in and out for a while.
I'll go splurt.
Whoopsie daisy.
We'll wear a rubber.
And then we'll see what happens.
She's just like, never mind.
You know what I mean?
I thought you were different.
You know what?
Look, I'll get on top a little bit. You get on top a little bit. We on top a little bit we'll do a little fucking lazy republican and we'll hang out we'll have a good time is the lazy republican the lazy republican is where you both lay on your
side and she's you're both facing the same way and you're just kind of you're just having sex
and making passive income that's the lazy republican you know like this yeah you know same-sex marriages are wrong right um yeah yeah i don't know you don't believe in abortion do you hey fuck but light right this so
oh yeah fuck but light yeah the worst dirty talk dylan mulvaney's a man the worst dirty talk ever you know that you know that's what it's
like oh shit dude um yeah so i just uh yeah so i just either test out the horizontal mambo or tell
her you don't want to ruin the friendship those are the only two things if you're going to test
out the horizontal mambo though say let's just test out let's give it a try let's give it a whirl i'm just say oh make the whole thing your whole point be about but i don't want to mess up the
friendship even if you do want to like try it out or even if you don't at all that is the thing to
stick to because i'm assuming again that that is at least partially true dude sweetie doll come here
come on sit down there sweetie, let's test it out.
There we go.
Oh my God, there we go.
That's nice.
And like, sweetie doll, here we go.
And turn around and oh, and there we go.
And oh, and there we go.
Yeah, that's not going to work out.
Oh my God.
Just did the biggest dipshit move of all time.
Just so fast.
Bitters, friends.
Oh, wow.
Japanese the way you exhale. i wish i i wish i remembered wow i mean yeah on second thought just say the friend thing don't test it out you know yeah this
is not going to go well and i'm it's been brought to my attention that that is even if that's not
how it goes it'll be close enough to what he just did that you want to you want to avoid that you know yeah um yeah okay that's not a good look um
even if that it takes four days for you to realize after the splurt it's still basically what i just
said exactly that's just sped up yeah yeah so don't do that and four days after the splurt say
the that's what we should call the episode will that get flagged
four days
no right
four days after the splurt
I mean splurt
you think splurt
has a necessarily
sexual connotation
could be a water park
splurt
what will you think
splurt is just like
Anthony
I don't think it'll get flagged
you don't
four days after the splurt
yeah no I agree
there's no way it'll get flagged
here we go four days after the splurt
okay relax
but everyone knows
relax like it's amazing you know what I mean I think it's amazing like you're so excited about four days after the splurt I Yeah, no, I agree. There's no way it'll get through. Here we go, four days after the splurt. Okay, relax. But everyone knows. Relax like it's amazing.
You know what I mean?
I think it's amazing.
Like you're so excited
about four days after the splurt.
I wish I named my new special
four days after the splurt.
And I will tell you this though,
four, the-
I wish you named your son that,
your second born son.
Four days after the splurt, Dalia?
Hi, Calvin,
and four days after the splurt.
So stupid, dude.
All right, cool.
What a good one.
Yeah.
What's up, y'all? Dig a chat. His dick took it. His dick took it up his dick took it i'm just calling in today looking for some advice um so i'm not technically from here um i was born in bosnia oh shit but i
came here when i was three months old my whole family is from there oh yeah dude um so i've
lived here for 25 plus years um i love my culture embrace
it and all that that's cool i speak it fluently just as well as my english pretty much um but
the thing that keeps happening to me um that's kind of annoying is whenever i get introduced to
new people um the person introducing me will always be like they they start off with, oh, meet my friend, blah, blah, blah. He's from Bosnia,
right? And the people will always be like, no fucking way. Like, and they'll try to ask me
questions about it and just kind of make it super fucking awkward and weird. Um, so I guess my
question or the advice I'm looking for is how do I deal with this shit? Um, do I just kind of just
how do I deal with this shit?
Do I just kind of stop being an asshole and just deal with it
and just move on from there?
Or
do I be super dick about it
going forward, have fun
and just put on this super
shitty heavy accent
and act
like I'm fresh off the boat or something?
Yeah, you know
when I was seven years old I break neck of bear using my bear legs.
Well, that would be good.
Yeah, yeah, you know, I still drink.
I drink milk from dog.
It's good for you.
You know, I don't know.
I get it.
But, yeah, let me know what you guys think,
what I should do going forward. Let me know. Love the show know what you guys think uh what i should do going forward let me know
love the show love you guys take it easy peace thanks he has no accent but he does have that
one he does have that one thing that the bosnians and czechians have the l words begin like
yeah which is very cool sounding i i mean dude here's the deal man
just don't say you're Bosnian
you were there for three months
here's what you do it's very simple
you're American
hey here's my friend so and so
he's Bosnian
and that guy's and Anthony just dropped something
and it pissed me off very much but it's all good
so you know here's my friend
so and so he's Bosnian
you step forward and all you have to so and so he's bosnian you step forward
and all you have to say is i'm not bosnian yeah i was born there three months in bosnia dude yeah
also or turn to your friend and say why do you always do that also it's not here's me if someone
says hey uh here's my friend i don't know his name alex. He's Bosnian. Here's me. Oh, cool. Hey, what's up, Alex?
I say, what was it like during the war?
Give me a full account every single day.
I want to know your exact experience and the experience of your loved ones.
And tell me it in Bosnian.
Tell me it in Bosnian right now.
And start now.
That's what I do.
Anytime I meet someone from Bosnia.
So it sucks that your friend does that, sets you up like that.
Because then I would be really disappointed.
No, no, no.
Do it with an accent.
Harder accent.
Harder accent.
But yeah, here's the thing.
I actually get it.
Is Bosnia in a language?
I get it being a problem.
I don't know.
I'm sure there's a specific dialect.
Lalo, lalo, lalo, you know.
Drowning.
Arnold Schwarzenegger drowning.
I don't know.
I'm sure there's a specific dialect.
Lalo, lalo, lalo, you know.
Drowning.
Arnold Schwarzenegger drowning.
But like, I actually completely forgot what I was going to say.
Nice.
Which is all good and I'm pissed.
Yeah.
Oh, I get why you see it as a problem.
But trust me, this is actually a non-problem.
Because all you got to do is say, no, I'm not.
If your friend says that. Or no i'm not and then when you're alone with your friend later say hey why do you
honestly why do you do that when you know it's not true how about this dude i've been to bosnia
that's a fair question whoops
how about that's a fair question i'm just saying okay how about this i've been to bosnia for three
months more than you so stop saying that unless he's been back to your friend yeah yeah yeah or
anyone really because nobody's been also why does your friend even say that's so but he's saying
multiple people do it yeah why are they doing that what the fuck dude stop telling me you're
bosnian maybe don't start maybe don't even let anybody know that's what he does hey what's up dude i'm alex by the way i'm bosnian so anytime you ever meet
anybody tell them i'm bosnian no and then he calls it and does that no he said anytime you
hey i'm alex i'm bosnian anytime you introduce me to someone uh don't ever introduce me as bosnian
which is what i just did to you and then these people are breaking that rule and so he called in
shit fucking magic mind, dude.
I feel good because I took it.
Cocaine.
Okay.
Woo!
Let's go.
All right, next one.
Let's go, woo!
Nickel Skitch.
Hey, guys, I just have a follow-up from a video from last week.
Skinny upside down head.
It was about a guy and his friend was on the phone with him and he was distracted.
Yeah.
And I know, you know, Chris, you were saying that you really liked that guy.
But then you said maybe he's boring.
But you really liked that guy.
And Matt suggested that maybe you marry him.
So he's actually my little brother.
And I just want to give my blessing
and say I think that would be nice.
He would be a beautiful couple.
So, you know, support it.
Great.
And that's it.
What's happening?
What happened?
And what's happening?
You gave his brother advice. it great uh and that's it what's happening what happened and what's happening uh you gave uh his
brother advice uh and the advice was so like or the your feelings about his brother were so like
glowing and positive that i made the joke well if you like him so much why don't you marry him okay
and then he just called in to give you his blessing and you're gonna throw that again and
it's gonna piss me off so i'm marrying his brother or you are you you're marrying his brother
i already have a wife yeah well i don't think yeah that's the problem okay well we can talk
about it later but i don't think that's gonna be a problem i mean the guy's brother
who you don't even remember so your brother called into the show or what so you
know what's one of the worst things in the world when i think about it too much is i think about
arranged marriages and it's so sad the fact that it still happens is crazy let's see if i could do
it oh no no one no one does that what well you just did i wanted to see if it would hit the
camera oh okay so now you. No one does that either.
So hold on.
So the fact that it's still a thing, where are arranged marriages?
There's a lot of them in India.
India.
Okay, what you're going to do is you're going to say it after I say it.
Middle East.
Yeah.
In Oklahoma.
But in other places in the world too, but they're common practices.
I wish marriages were arranged in America.
You do wish it?
Yep.
Only arranged. You couldn't choose why because then at least we would understand why everybody is so fucked up
it'd be because of that well people still understand that though why you're saying the
reason is because of marriages no no no no no no because of the arranged marriages no i know you're
saying if the arranged marriages were a thing we could blame all of our fucked upness on the fact that they're arranged marriages.
I'm saying...
And as a politician, I would lobby to remove arranged marriages,
and then I could be a politician.
So you want there to be arranged marriages,
so you can take them down and be a hero.
Yep.
Okay.
So what were you going to say, though?
No, nothing.
You said you think about arranged marriages all the time.
Oh, yeah, I think about it all the time.
I just think about how much that completely sucks it does suck you know people
like selling their like literally like they sell their daughter who has now become a woman or
needs to get married to become a woman dowry is yeah dowry oh this is why i was thinking about
there's some crazy things going on this There's this crazy thing going on in India
where women are getting married to Indian men
who are abroad at the time.
There's like a term for them.
Okay.
And they get all this money
because the parents think it's a good marriage
because he's like out of India.
He's making money in Switzerland or wherever.
He's not even real.
So they give a lot of dowry.
No, he is real.
But he keeps the marriage, takes all the dowry and money in Switzerland or wherever he's not even real so they give a lot of dowry no he is real but he keeps
the marriage
takes all the dowry
and stays
in Switzerland
after they get married
and like
lives a totally different life
and there's no recourse
because they have nothing
to get
to
to get him on
and it's like a huge
like thousands
and thousands of women
and families
have been scammed
by these people
yeah
nothing dumber
yeah it's crazy, dude.
So dumb shit leads to more scams.
Stop doing dumb shit.
You get easier, more scams.
We don't want that.
Imagine having to marry somebody you didn't want to marry
and then just every day after work,
your shit job, a lot of people have shit jobs,
they got to go back and hang out with a person
that they don't even like. Who is terrible to terrible to them surely because in a society where there's arranged
marriages i can't imagine that like right neither person wants to be there at least if you're the
woman i know it's like some of these places are second-class citizens but at least if you're a
woman you can then when they're at work you're chilling i mean if that's how it works if that's
how it works and then when they come home it sucks like're chilling. I mean, if that's how it works. If that's how it works
and then when they come home,
it sucks.
Like here comes fucking.
I think it sucks always though.
Well,
why is it better
if they're going out
because they can watch
The Bold and the Beautiful?
Like why is it better?
Because they can watch
The Bold and the Beautiful.
Oh, okay.
Well, then yeah.
Because they can eat stuff
that they want.
They can chill.
They do their day.
They go out and do errands.
I bet,
I guarantee you actually
that there are areas
in this country
where arranged marriage is still a thing.
It's just not.
Where?
I don't.
I'm not saying I know.
Up in the northwest like in like forest areas.
Like where all the neo-Nazi skinheads are?
Yep.
Okay.
That's a good guess.
Yep.
Okay.
Because you'd think, oh, somewhere down south and this and that.
Nope, dude.
Where all the neo-Nazis are, dude.
Yeah.
It's weird that there's so many neo-Nzis are dude yeah it's weird that there's
so many neo-nazis in washington what's up with that it's because it's super liberal though too
that makes no sense well there's super liberal people and nazis yeah that's what i'm saying you
can't have one without the other because you have that little blue dot in the middle and then in the
outskirts it's all red thanks man you should You should be on CNN with how they have the map,
the guy with the map, you know?
You should see how their skinheads.
And on the outside of that, it's all red.
And that's where you get the neo-Nazis.
Yeah.
Because in the blue dot in the middle,
that's where you get everybody interested
in all everyone's rights.
And then outside of that,
that's where the neo-Nazis come in.
Anyway, back to you, guy with the too big head.
Because everyone always has a too big head on
that too big head yep two live crew are we gonna do another one so already right moran hey what's
up gents uh my name is wyatt from reading pennsylvania his voice is jonah hill see you
soon hell yeah i last saw you back in 2017 in tallahassee and uh i actually went and saw you
completely by myself so So hell yeah.
I love that.
I had the time of my life,
man.
So, so thank you.
That's cool.
And Matt,
big fan of Matt Lee is confused.
Some of your acting work,
man.
So seriously been a true baby all along for the Dalia brothers.
But my issue tonight is in regards to asking someone out.
So I have this girl I really like. Every time I'm with her,
I seem to really hit it off.
Don't really see her too, too often.
Really only like friends,
events and parties
and things like that.
The only thing is,
is that she is the sister
of one of my really,
really good friends.
So if I was going to approach that
and ask her out,
how would I do that?
I'm sort of thinking something along the lines of like should i ask her brother um should i sort of tell him it's
going to happen um you know how do i should i approach him first i approach her first you know
that sort of thing uh trying to sort of figure that out um he's not too too protective of her
or anything like that but he's someone that would want to be in the know if something like that was going on
so yeah
that's really all I got hopefully I can
follow up with you guys eventually depending on what you say
and hope to
hear back appreciate it thanks
what a nice guy reading I'll be in Redding
Pennsylvania yep I'll see you
there in Redding Pennsylvania if you think
he's the kind of guy that would
want to be in the know
and you're good friends with him, obviously say something to him.
Just be like, yo, I was thinking I'm going to ask out your sister.
Yeah, exactly.
He mentioned something that I think is something that men don't think about
ahead of time until this kind of thing happens to them.
But he said, should I ask him or should I tell him?
And it's like it doesn't have to be that black and white.
I know it's a conundrum, but you can tell,
but also show the person your respect.
You don't have to be like,
hey, dude, I'm dating your sister.
Peace.
Yo, I'm going to fucking date your sister.
Right.
And then we start to go,
or you do both.
You could ask and also tell.
You could say, I'm going to date your sister.
Right.
That's technically still a statement, though, because you didn't use the words.
But you did.
I'm going to date your sister.
Yeah.
But yeah.
You're going to doink your sister?
You could just be like, hey, I'm really into your sister.
I really want to ask her out.
And because you're such a good friend, I didn't want you to like hear about it somewhere else.
And like, I just want to make sure I told you.
That isn't giving him the opportunity to say,
you can't do that.
Not that he would do that or can do that.
But like, I think that's what's in a guy's head
when they say, should I tell them or should I ask him?
Like, it's like, you don't need to pick one.
You don't ask because you live in a free country.
It's a free society.
You can do whatever you want.
And, you know, you don't have to tell
because there's like a sense of confrontation there
or something.
Just like say it in a nice way, but do say something
because it's not because he like reserves the right
to know what his sister's up to.
That has nothing to do with it.
He doesn't.
But it's like, there is a certain thing if you're he said he's
really good friends with this guy yeah that would be kind of just weird if a good friend of yours
yeah like asked your sister out and you had no idea that it was gonna it's just like weird
you're asking for like some weird kind of thing to happen yeah so to avoid weirdness i think it's it's the best thing to do um
did he specify if his really good friend is a guy or a girl no but i think it's a guy i do too but
um if it's a girl that doesn't change things does it uh i don't i don't think it changes that you
should say something no it's the same the same answer for sure yeah but i think maybe he wouldn't have called in for
advice if uh because he's sexist and because i was just gonna say and the reason for that
is because the guy who called in who you said is oh he's so nice he's actually a sexist he's got a
lot of problems yeah he's a male chauvinist he's a sexist and um's what's up with him. No, he's being very respectful. I think that's good.
And yeah, you should say it to him.
But, you know.
Oh, okay.
Well, there's no reason to be that much louder.
I mean, coming.
No.
Oh.
I didn't.
Okay.
Yeah, Matt's right.
And I'm right too.
And I would have said that even if Matt didn't say it.
All right, man.
What happened?
You just stretched?
Did you just give up now?
I stretched, and I got really, really, really fucking good, a good stretch, and I yawned
hard.
So you feel like you're going to-
I'm like loose, dude.
But I've been pretty loose this episode, to be brutally honest with you.
Yeah?
You seem to be honest.
You seemed a little down at the beginning of the episode.
Really?
A little bit low.
You know why I'm saying that?
Because I didn't talk about my deadlifts and stuff oh that's not why but it is i i made a conscious effort to i'm like a dude i'm not because you're like you're throwing
a wet towel on yourself yeah dude so whatever you asked for it you asked for it you're gonna
so this is what you get now you're gonna you're gonna be in a bad mood because i don't know
okay cool that's all good all right well i't know what to talk about my body. Okay, cool. That's all good. All right.
Well, I apologize.
Feel free to talk about.
No, I'm just going to get more tattoos and I'm going to keep working out.
It's going to be fantastic.
And I look good.
Okay.
I'm 43, but I look good, dude.
You're 43?
Damn.
Yeah, only for a while.
You're old, dude.
Well, you're what?
I don't even know.
I'm literally.
Oh, yeah.
You're going to be 40.
Literally 13.
What? It's crazy. I'm 13 years old. You old gray in your beard and a beard nuts yeah it's like that movie jack that's so fucking stupid to not say benjamin buttons you know dude jack is the better example
jack honestly benjamin buttons back off no here's the thing. Jack off. Benjamin Button ages backwards. I know, but that's the- Jack ages more rapidly.
I know, I know.
Oops, I was saying it.
I know, I know.
That's really different though.
And I don't like people being like,
oh, they're similar.
Like, that's not similar at all.
Also, Benjamin Button was a book before that.
It's also a love story.
It's a love story.
It wasn't a book, it was a short story.
It was a love story.
And I read it.
I read it backwards, so it made sense.
Wow, a vaudeville comedian.
Hey, Benjamin Button, I read it i read backwards so it made sense wow a vaudeville comedian hey benjamin buttons i read it backwards it makes sense from the direct from hey the writer from the director
of memento memento memento it wasn't even who directed it that's david fincher movie not a
christopher nolan movie so dork booyah booyah and oh let's see oh yeah booyah i know that i'm saying
benjamin button from the same directors as Memento because they're both going backwards
even though that's not the same guy
yeah okay but you didn't know
somebody out there didn't know and I said it for them
okay
so it's all good
hey you know who wrote me
the director
do you care about this the director of Speak No Evil
Anthony remember you told me not to watch that movie
because of how horrific it is?
Yeah.
What?
What?
He wrote to you?
So I talked about it
on my podcast
because it's one of my
top 10 greatest movies
of all time.
Yeah.
And he was like,
dude,
thank you so much.
It made my day.
Somebody sent it to me.
He wrote me in...
What's his name?
I forget,
but he wrote me in December
and I didn't see until yesterday.
And I wrote him back.
I was like, oh, my God, I just saw this.
Your movie's amazing.
Christian Taftrup, that's what it is.
I see a few of his movies.
I followed him on Instagram.
His last name is just a bunch of letters.
A bunch of made-up words.
His last name is just somebody got Scrabble and put them in no particular order, and that's his last name. just a bunch of letters. A bunch of made up words. His last name is just... Somebody got Scrabble
and put them in no particular order
and that's his last name.
Is this a word?
I say no.
Have you seen that movie, by the way?
Speak No Evil?
Yeah.
No.
No?
No.
It's fantastic.
Oh, it's a Danish movie?
Yep.
They make the best movies.
No, man.
Yeah, they do.
No, man.
Every time I see a Danish movie, I'm like, okay well that's your opinion yeah i mean it's a dude and it's
wrong that's just your opinion man uh okay all right all right so you got a guy that wrote to
you and said good job congrats man it made me really good literally all the time okay uh all right that's it for this
episode if you want more uh guess what get some lifeline luxury in your life lifeline luxury i
was gonna say he cut me off patreon.com lifeline luxury white line uh i will be in charlotte i
will be in little rock arkansas i will be in vegas coming up soon I added another date and a bunch of different places
Montreal Edmonton go to chrislea.com Nashville if you want to if you also want to go to
madelia.com for one-on-one sessions with me no one else just me just the two of us or if you
want someone else on your side of the screen just three of us or even more you get three you get
four four of us but yeah if you have a
question for the show click the link in the description below or just go to watch lifeline.com
or leave us a message at the hotline at 213-973-8095 and please oh please do not forget
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just like that uh go to lifelinemerch.com for all that.
Also, leave a comment, dude.
I said that, dude.
Leave a comment.
Agree with me.
Tell Chris he's wrong.
Thank you.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.