Lifeline - 83. Sell Me This Pen

Episode Date: November 12, 2023

✨ LIFELINE LUXURY is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. New episode just came out on Friday! 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 ☎️ You can also call the ...hotline at 213-973-8095 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. Today we have a revisit from toothbrush guy, a big question about big foreheads, and solving the question about how to put your pants on.  📆 Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline 💃 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:02:03 Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Will you please? Hello? with his dude my special hey how about that look at that the special official i didn't even see it until right now but my specials out grow or die that's really nice thanks dude you can get this on chrisley.com or die. That's really nice. Thanks, dude. You can get this on Chris.com, but you can also get the special on Chris.com. He directed it. You did.
Starting point is 00:02:30 And grow or die. It is awesome. And I appreciate you guys who already bought it and you can go get it now. Chris.com. You can also sign up
Starting point is 00:02:41 for this Patreon patreon.com slash Lifeline luxury. It's Sunday, November 12th. Sundays are for Lifeline. Patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury. It's Sunday, November 12th. Sundays are for Lifeline, but Lifeline Luxury is also Sundays are for Lifeline Luxury, so go get that. I'm on tour.
Starting point is 00:02:55 I got Richmond, Baltimore, Trenton, Philadelphia, and Redding, and Oxnard, California. And Matt has some news. I got a new podcast coming out real soon. I got 10 or maybe even 12 in the can already.
Starting point is 00:03:13 Whoa. Got some amazing. Yeah, man. We want to hear your stories. We want to hear your crazy stories. I am the host. You will tell me your story. We got, like I said, a bunch in the can some amazing episodes already
Starting point is 00:03:25 can't wait to record more if you want to be a guest on the show you got some kind of crazy story you want to share with the world go submit yourself at theprivaterecord.com or email the private record at gmail.com or find us on instagram tiktok or youtube i mean drowning uh yeah that's what's up if you have a question go down the link uh watch lifeline.com or one-on-one advice centers with matt at mattalia.com anyway dude lifeline merch lifeline merch.com we got a lot of stuff going on but uh it's all good my babies and we are here at a lifeline and uh so do you remember the pecking order of glasses that was established yeah well i remember that we talked about i don't actually remember the pecking order of glasses that was established? Yeah. Well, I remember that we talked about it.
Starting point is 00:04:05 I don't actually remember the ranking. I'm not going to quiz you. There's another pair of glasses and it's on my face and they're green. These are green? And I wore it because I'm wearing a green sweatsuit. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. What kind of sweatsuit is that?
Starting point is 00:04:20 Do you know? Lettie. Is it new or vintage? It's new. Lettie. Is it new or vintage? It's new. Lettie. That makes me actually hate French people the way you do that. It's from Lettie.
Starting point is 00:04:33 So those are green glasses? They're green. Green, green, green, green, green. But you're wearing green sunglasses. And I want them because they're green and I like to wear all one color when it's possible uh-huh well your monochromatic mat yeah um well okay that's cool man i got green on too yeah you
Starting point is 00:04:51 got so it's the green episode and look at that that's green too whoa look at this what the heck um well that uh nice hoodie though for real thank you those are really cool those those grow or die hoodies i'd had i honestly had not even seen them until yeah it's an old take on the skater die shit you remember skater die grow or die what nice yeah and then bad so great great a guy a guy who used to uh wear that stuff had sex with his uh girlfriend you know back in way back oh yeah that's great cool yeah love thinking about that wonder what chad's up to um so uh no there's actually a lot of cool grower die merch i go hard with the merch you know i love i like doing it you love merches yeah i do i love merches you're walter merch what's that uh it's just a dorky deep cut joke sorry is that why anthony laughed sorry i made it yeah he's a
Starting point is 00:05:41 dork too just like me what is it on like wol Wolverine issue 75 or something? No, Walter Murch is like a very famous... Walter Murch is introduced in Deadpool. You know what I'm saying? Deadpool's origin story of... Deadpool, no. Apocalypse Now, more like that. So Anthony laughed, so it's probably about the Batman Lego. The Terrifier?
Starting point is 00:06:01 Lego Batman or whatever. Lego Batman. Dude, Anthony loves the Lego movies, especially the Lego Batman movie. Gets so much popcorn when he goes. Yeah, dude. Just loves. Gets two and acts like he's also getting another tub for someone else. Yep.
Starting point is 00:06:12 But he's just getting both popcorns for himself. And also saw it twice in the theater. And the second time he saw it, he didn't admit that he already saw it to whoever he went with. Right. He's like, yeah, no, we should go see it. Sure. Right, right, right. Yeah, he did that.
Starting point is 00:06:24 I'll see it. Yeah, I'll see it. And then pretended like he predicted a part and pretended like he predicted a part. You know what's going to happen here? And it does it. And it's like, I just fucking, I just know it. I know it.
Starting point is 00:06:35 I just know the Lego movies. Yeah. Stripping. Stripping. Look at that. You got green on under there too, man. See? It's so hot.
Starting point is 00:06:45 It's so weird how it's so blisteringly hot. And it's cold outside, which is what's interesting. It's cold outside. Yeah. So anyway, I'm feeling good. You feeling good? I feel good. Shoulder pain.
Starting point is 00:06:57 No back pain. That's it. Okay. Well, that was... I have shoulder pain. Why? No neck pain. A little bit of neck pain no back pain dude for the first time in my life i have well no no in first time in life past six years okay i have no lower back pain what happened oh there's a fly here that's cool i don't know
Starting point is 00:07:19 dude i don't know what happened i guess I just started working out better and different and my core or something. I started doing V-ups, hanging. V-ups? Yeah, hanging with the V, you know, bring the legs all the way up to the face. Kiss your toes. I'm interested. And I have shoulder pain. So that's cool.
Starting point is 00:07:39 And the reason why I have shoulder pain is I've now trans... Okay. is i've now trans i i've trans i've transcended to the i don't get hurt doing physical activity anymore i get hurt just being a dad uh my son calvin i was driving and he said dad i i dropped thing so i went to grab it pain three weeks insurmountable did it hurt right away when you did it oh yeah you should have as a you should be a better dad and what you should do as a dad say i life is hard you can't reach it tough taters i don't care tough taters good luck getting it on your own let's see you try to do that my son understands half of those words actually you know what's crazy yeah that's not true no my son i have a joke on my special about how he's not that good at talking but he's good for his age dude the other day he said um no i would rather have that one and i'm like who told you
Starting point is 00:08:48 rather yeah yeah what about this one as well he'll say i'm like what are you what are you watching like british cooking shows yeah it's unbelievable dude i bet he is everyone watches those shows i can't stand it dude here we are at you know the manchester bake-off everyone watches the british bake-off show whatever it's called crazy and everyone's like oh the hosts are so funny and entertaining it's like no they're not and by the way britain has the worst food yeah but sweet it's about sweets oh and they have good sweets i guess yeah today we're learning we're going to see who can who can make a better tomato and beans. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:27 For breakfast, of course, you nilly wits. Yeah, yeah. You're not going to eat that anywhere past 9 a.m. Beans and a tomato. And whipped cream. Nilly wits, you know. Nilly wits. Here we go, you nilly wits.
Starting point is 00:09:43 I imagine eating beans and a tomato at past 8 a.m. Are you crazy? No, you're Nilly Witts. All right, here we go. We've got Nigel Nigelwurst. Wow. What's the... Well, it's not Nigel Nigelwurst, so what are you asking me about now?
Starting point is 00:09:59 What's the lady? Who? Paul Hollywood. Let me tell you about Paul Hollywood. He's one of the hosts. Paul Hollywood. Let me tell you about Paul Hollywood. He's one of the hosts. Paul Hollywood sucks. But he has the greatest name of all time. I'm sure he's great.
Starting point is 00:10:11 That's not his real last name, dude. Dude, why not? That's my last name. Look him up. I don't even know who that is. You're Chris Hollywood? I guarantee he's a guy with silver hair. Paul Hollywood.
Starting point is 00:10:22 Oh, well, there we go. Look at him. I'm right. He obviously had silver hair. He doesn't suck. Come on, look at him. No, he doesn't suck. You're right. Come on. Take it back. Who's the other there we go. Look at him. I'm right. He obviously had silver hair. He doesn't suck. Come on, look at him. No, he doesn't suck. You're right.
Starting point is 00:10:27 Come on. Take it back. Who's the other guy? The other guy does suck. Noel Fielding or whatever. All right. I'm going to get thrashed for this because people love that guy.
Starting point is 00:10:36 This guy? He's never made me laugh. People love this guy. He's fine, but look at his hat. Yeah, the hair. It's okay. No, the hat. What hat? That one. Oh, that's not good. But yeah, no, he's fine but look at his hat yeah it's okay no the hat what hat that one oh that's not good but yeah no he's fine he's just like i don't i don't know anything about these guys so i've
Starting point is 00:10:51 never seen this there's a woman that hosted two right the three there's three yeah yeah it's so so so popular and i've been made some people like more than one person has been like you gotta let's watch that let's watch that. Let's watch that. What? What is it called? The Great British Bake Off? Yes. And I'm just like, actually, the woman is my favorite one. That's right.
Starting point is 00:11:10 I forgot. She's like the, she gets mean and it's funny. Is that the guy from that show? The long hair guy? So big. Yeah. The Mighty Boosh or whatever? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, people love that.
Starting point is 00:11:20 The other guy from the Mighty Boosh is hilarious to me. I don't like this guy that much. I don't know. It's probably because I've seen this too much. I'm not into competition cooking shows. What is The Mighty Boosh? You don't know what The Mighty Boosh is? Even I know what it is.
Starting point is 00:11:34 I've never seen it. Yeah, The Mighty Boosh is like a really, really, really famous popular English. From a long time ago, though. It's pretty. It was like, honestly, to me, my recollection is, it was one of those things that became viral before things became viral yeah it was it was like aughts right what like in the middle yeah yeah wasn't there something where he was on like a boat or in a lake or something old greg thing yeah isn't that what that is the old greg thing people love that old greg i don't
Starting point is 00:11:58 know what old greg i saw like a clip of it or something yeah yeah yeah that that thing was very very viral people thought it was so funny and i watched like 10 seconds of it or something yeah yeah yeah that that thing was very very viral people thought it was so funny and i watched like 10 seconds of it and i was like i think i'm just not british forget the other guy's name but he's funny people love it though yeah people love british people are are just they're on a different like wavelength though sometimes yeah not in a bad way people assume because they also speak english that like they're really a lot like us. Nope. But not a lot like us.
Starting point is 00:12:27 Like every single British person will say Fawlty Towers is like the all-time best thing. Have either of you guys ever watched Fawlty Towers? Fawlty Towers? When I was nine.
Starting point is 00:12:36 I watch it like this. Oh, really? Really. I like Absolutely Fabulous. Imagine watching something like that. We're going to piss British people off today. It's all right because they're eating beans and a tomato.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Yeah. Isn't that right? Well, if you're listening to the podcast before eight, you are. Otherwise, you're being a nilly wit. A nilly wit, yeah. Why would you eat beans and a tomato past half seven? What? Or really, why would you eat beans and a tomato at all?
Starting point is 00:13:01 Well, they do that in British. Remember when we were in London? It's because they have no other food, yeah. Remember when we were in London? And we we were going for we were like let's go get some breakfast we got up early because we were jet lagged yeah we got up early went and we were like i'll get oh they only have beans and tomato beans and you were like well you were like we were like i'll get a tomato they're like what do you want beans on the side we're like on the side like a tomato is the main part of the meal it was though what else was there it was like a
Starting point is 00:13:23 one of the the one of the main things was like a fucking, you know, a sausage thing that was like plastic. Yeah, they'll do links. Yeah. And they do fish, right? Fish and chips is their thing, yeah? For breakfast? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:35 Fish for breakfast, dude? They got limited options, dude. Why, though? It's a place. Yeah, it's true. You can just get the stuff shipped there. God, that's so true. Also, they're Britain.
Starting point is 00:13:44 I know. it's great there I don't know now it's hard to get stuff in Britain because of Brexit though but back then yeah there was no excuse no excuse Brexit stage left you know what they say Brexit what what what did you say
Starting point is 00:14:00 it's so fucking stupid I didn't even hear what you said he said Brexit stage left. Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow. Oh, man. And you all laughed? Wow, you guys all suck.
Starting point is 00:14:12 Because it's so stupid. I laughed because you guys left. I have no idea what you said. A follower! A follower! Dude. An absolute follower. Oh, dude.
Starting point is 00:14:22 Brexit stage right. All right. Wow. You didn't even hear it and just laughed like a dumbo just a big dumbo just heard laughter and started going
Starting point is 00:14:31 that's what Mike that's what Calvin does dude that's also like it's butthead you're butthead you know you're just butthead dude
Starting point is 00:14:39 nah man you almost spit out your drink it was funny wait wait hold on a child a child works for us you almost spit out your drink. It was funny. Wait, wait. Hold on. What? A child.
Starting point is 00:14:46 A child works rough. You almost spit out your drink. Who did? You did. You spit out your drink. Oh, so you laughed at that. And it was funny. You laughed at me laughing, not the Brexit stage left joke.
Starting point is 00:14:53 Oh, you mean? Yeah. Oh, wait. You're realizing the thing he said a whole minute ago? No, he said I laughed and I didn't even hear it. And then he said- No, I said I don't even know what the hell you're talking about. Yeah, right, right, right.
Starting point is 00:15:03 Like, I don't get the joke. So, and you laughed at it. He laughed at it, yes. But I laughed at you laughing. That's not what he said, I don't even know what the hell you're talking about. Yeah, right, right, right. Like, I don't get the joke. And you laughed at it. He laughed at it, yes. But I laughed at you laughing at it. That's not what he said, dude. Doesn't matter what he said. No, no, no, no, no. But this goes back to what we were saying earlier.
Starting point is 00:15:12 I'm right about this. I am right about this. Dude, he said, dude, this is crazy. Am I autistic? He said. Well, yeah. He said. That's fine, though.
Starting point is 00:15:22 But you're autistic. This is right? What's right? Because he said, I laughed, and I don't even know what, what was it? I said, I laughed and I don't even get the joke. I laughed. I don't even get the joke. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:32 I thought he said, I laughed. I don't even know what you said. Okay. So I'm supposed to know that he laughed at me laughing. That's not what he said a minute ago. He initially. Yes. It was clear.
Starting point is 00:15:42 No, dude. It was very clear based on what he said that he was laughing just because other people laughed, which is a version... I don't remember his exact words, but what he said was, I'm laughing because other people laughed. That's why I said follower in the first place. The other one that happened before the show
Starting point is 00:15:57 was more clear, and I was more right about that one. No, you were wrong about that too. You got to tell him if you're going to talk about it. I'm going to. Mako said, Chris said, what's the answer to sell me this pen? And I said, what?
Starting point is 00:16:10 But meanwhile, just to insert real quick, just to be clear. Because I knew exactly what he meant. But go ahead. But I said, that's not a question. And then you said, yeah, but you know how on Wolf of Wall Street, Jordan Belfort makes a guy sell you your pen? And I said, yeah. No, I didn't say that. And you said, so, but you know how on Wolf of Wall Street, Jordan Belfort makes a guy sell you your pen? And I said, yeah. No, I didn't say that.
Starting point is 00:16:28 And you said, so you know what he means? No, I don't know what he means. At the end of the movie. Yes, got it. That one. He goes around at his seminar and says, sell me this pen. I know that. So then what the fuck are you confused about?
Starting point is 00:16:38 Because he said, what's the answer to sell me this pen? Because he's going around from guy to guy. Seven. Shut up. He's going around from guy to guy, asking. Shut up. He's going around from guy to guy asking them to do it right, the right way. And then the person doesn't know it.
Starting point is 00:16:49 The person doesn't get it. The person doesn't get it. I know that. Shut the fuck up then if you know. Because that's not... When he says, what's the answer
Starting point is 00:16:56 to sell me this pen? I think... Here's why you're dumb. That's it. Yeah, I know. I know. And that's okay to think that. But it's also not okay to not think more things after that.
Starting point is 00:17:10 That's how we make sense of the world. Somebody says something and you think beyond the literal meaning of every word one at a time. Your word is your bond, dude. Your word is your bond. And if you're not saying the correct thing. You know what it truly is, actually, what I'm realizing it? It's an insecure thing because i think there's something that he knows that i don't know that i should understand so what are you talking about like is there an answer to it that i'm not privy to yeah there is there is a response that he's looking for that is correct
Starting point is 00:17:43 that is what he meant that's what he was asking for that is correct. That is what he meant. That's what he was asking about. Jordan Belfort is looking for a specific... What's the answer to I'm at Target? That's not something. But Jordan Belfort specifically... So Jordan Belfort said I'm at Target. There's an answer to it? It's not the person asking you, fucking moron.
Starting point is 00:18:00 Let's go to the fucking lifelines, dude. Everyone listening absolutely knows i'm right but i don't think they do dude they absolutely do they all know what's implied by that question if they know who jordan belford is if they know what some of this pen is bro that's and i think you do too which is even more annoying no i know what do you think hold on hold on what do you think jordan belford is doing what do you think he's looking for when he says sell me this pen to and and each person that he does it to tries to sell him this pen and jordan buffett's like no that's wrong goes to the next how would you sell me this pen what do you what does that mean how would you sell me this pen that what's the answer to how you would sell me this pen
Starting point is 00:18:40 yeah that's the same thing he's saying just what's the answer to sell me this pen oh my god dude like as if semantics is the problem yeah it's just like that's what i'm saying every you know you know you you know so what is the answer then we didn't know that's why we were talking about it we didn't remember if there's an answer then what is it we don't know but it's out there that's why we asked we don't know we wouldn't have asked there. That's why we asked! We don't know! We wouldn't have asked if we knew. We would have just said, hey, you know how Jordan Buffett says some of this, Ben? This is what he's looking for.
Starting point is 00:19:16 Now I'm way more hot than it already was. It's hot. It's already hot. It's so hot. Okay. All right, whatever. We know where each person stands. Hey, Chris. Hey, Matt.
Starting point is 00:19:21 My name is Victor. I am from Serbia. Added an accent. I'm a big, big fan. I try to show your clips to my Serbian friends all the time. Hey, Chris. Hey, Matt. My name is Viktor. I am from Serbia. Added an accent. I'm a big, big fan. I try to show your clips to my Serbian friends all the time, but they never understand
Starting point is 00:19:29 and they never laugh because of the language barrier. That's okay. So I just usually end up watching them watching the clip. That's okay. That's cool, though. You're still trying.
Starting point is 00:19:38 Waiting, checking if they like it. So I don't see care. But I do have a question. Watching TV shows and movies about mafia there was always this mafia boss who speaks in a really low volume that i understand that's a dominance thing but they say the vaguest shit and the people act as if they understood what they said now that could get really confusing in a real life situation but it would look like a guy begging for his life please please save me and the mafia boss would be like the spears and the cat and they would be like thank you thank you and i'm like
Starting point is 00:20:08 no you didn't hear him you didn't understand him so is it lazy writing like what is your take on it thank you guys so so much this guy would agree you two would get along great yeah this guy would agree with me the answer though is obvious what it's it's implied in any mafia there there are they're their own group with their own language the mafia boss yes doesn't say things outright because he doesn't want to have to have it in any way be able to come back around him the whole point of being brought up slowly in the mob through the ranks is you you learn what things mean within your group of people yeah and so the mob boss isn't going to go around being like, kill him on Friday. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:20:51 He's going to say, take care of him before the weekend, whatever the fuck it is, you know? Exactly, which is why in the real world, and not in mafia movies, there is no answer to sell me this pen. Oh my God. And thank you very much. Well, worst lawyer in history.
Starting point is 00:21:03 And that, your honor honor is where i rest my case yeah uh well that i just answered his question that that's not that's still not good writing though because let's face it there's been enough movies about mafia i frankly don't think so you know you don't think so you should no i think 50 to 60 percent of movies should be about monsters yeah i mean i do like a lot of mafia movies but that yeah i think they should insert mobsters into every into into 50 to 60 percent of movies i don't think they should make i think but like avatar would be cool if like they were like right flying by and i was like you know you gotta you gotta connect up the the dog to the fucking guy in there and then they're
Starting point is 00:21:41 connecting and then they're flying around and that's the person oh so you okay you would like mafia people in the world of every movie well i'm not just like adding separate scenes of mafia bosses being like take care of the thing actually that would be really funny if they just cut to two mobsters talking about avatars i would i would yeah that's a good idea we build on it you know and it's like to be like ah you ever see the fucking blue guys walking around and then they gotta to fucking, you know. Get the fuck out of here with blue guys. It happens. And then cuts back to.
Starting point is 00:22:11 Weatherfly. Yeah. That would be good. In romantic comedies with Dylan McDermott, you know. Yeah. I do. Hey, fuck it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:20 You see that guy married? They did not. Get the fuck out of here. Okay. Well, Avengers. That guy's big and fucking green, you know? Yeah. People wouldn't even notice in the Avengers, you know?
Starting point is 00:22:34 You're right. All right. Sounds cute. That's okay. Hi, Chris and Matt. Massive fan. I have a question. So I like to work out.
Starting point is 00:22:43 That sounds annoying, but I do. And sometimes, let's say I'm on a trip with people, and I'll get up earlier than everyone else to work out before the day's activities. That's crazy. And sometimes I get comments like, oh, my God, you're crazy. Or don't you want to just sleep in? Can't you just miss one day? And it's so annoying. And I need a quick response that's funny and witty
Starting point is 00:23:12 to just like snap at them. So let me know. I'm a massive fan. I saw you at Laugh Factory a couple months ago. You're so hilarious. And Matt, thank you for keeping Chris in check. I think that that is extremely annoying. And I think that it should be, I don't know exactly what it should be,
Starting point is 00:23:31 but it should be something about how you don't tell them what to do just because it's the way you do a thing. Like, that's so annoying because it's like, why do you care if I'm working out? They're upset with their sleep in all you want because they wish they did they think so yeah definitely everyone wishes they were healthier you know that's such an extreme way to show them your abs uh-huh go like this here's why i didn't go like this oh or or say you're lucky i don't make you do it with me. What will you want? You want to shut the fuck up about it and let me do it?
Starting point is 00:24:08 Or I'll wake you up and you do burpees. I mean, dude, that's so annoying. Yeah. You should... Also, just, you know, people are lazy slobs. That's really annoying. Piece of shit. I don't know what to tell you besides maybe get new friends. Yeah, because here's the and ah that's really annoying shit i don't know what to tell you besides maybe
Starting point is 00:24:25 get new friends yeah because here's the here's the other thing that's super annoying when somebody's just like yeah why don't you come work out with me like what that's your version of it and you don't do that right yeah oh i mean unless you do but it's like dude you know what just yeah say here's what you should say do you realize realize when someone does that, say, do you realize how annoying that is? That's as annoying as me hounding you and trying to force you to come work out with me. Obviously, you don't want to do that. And obviously, I don't want to make you do that. So why do you want to make me do your thing?
Starting point is 00:24:58 I would do that. I would do that. That's the tit for tat. That's what they deserve. If they say it to you and you've already said it, like answered answered it and they do it again then you wake them up next time you work out yeah yeah if you're on a trip yeah dude i thought i don't wake up early in the morning but you know it when i i was at my last trip i went on i worked out i dude i love it man it's awesome i don't bug anybody about it yeah that's the thing if you're not bugging anybody why are they bugging you and nobody even do it after the trip like after
Starting point is 00:25:28 they're back home and you're back home at 7 a.m call them every day and say hey come work out with me it is why don't you want to work out with me i mean so it was so extreme you know every day for a year outside of their apartment it is weird that people uh work get up man people get i they get what dude say the thing otherwise no one knows what you're saying i'm processing i cannot imagine waking up earlier than i need to so i can get a workout in i i i if i had a nine to five i guess i would have to try and do that because i have kids and i don't want to not see my kids before they go to sleep. Yeah, that's definitely right. I guess that's it.
Starting point is 00:26:07 But dude, some people are just single with no kids. Yeah, but you know what that's about. They want to wake up and get it over with. And it's like, if it's part of your routine, you roll out of bed and get it done.
Starting point is 00:26:20 Okay. Then you feel good the rest of the day. You're not like, I got to fit in and work out. Yes. But some of those people still go to sleep at like midnight. Okay. Then you feel good the rest of the day. You're not like, I got to fit in and work. Yes. But some of those people still go to sleep at like midnight. Yeah. I don't understand.
Starting point is 00:26:33 I need a minimum of nine hours of sleep a night. Yeah. You're such a. Dude, I don't. I. If. If I got nine hours, I would be so fucked the whole day i would just be so groggy what bro i don't know i really would be yeah how much you get six sometimes a little
Starting point is 00:26:52 less and i feel better anything over seven and i'll have like a headache that's not good dude you're gonna die early well i i mean i don't know what to say yeah you are supposed to get it fluctuates from person to person obviously but you are supposed to get it fluctuates from person to person obviously but you're supposed to get at least seven yeah dude if I can get 11 oh my god I wake up and it's dope bro I wake up and it's like bro I think I like fucking I just feel like I'm on a different planet you feel good if you get 11 hours of sleep? Oh, yeah, bro. I mean, came absolutely busted. Just so good. Like, not good.
Starting point is 00:27:29 So good. Explain that. That doesn't even really make sense to me. I feel like I've recharged. Like, completely full 100% rechargedcharged i can open any apps in my body i'm just ready to go are you a human i'm an iphone i'm the iphone 15 yeah i mean that makes sense that's what literally happened you recharged um i got the new iphone okay well that's boring we're not gonna talk about that okay i didn't
Starting point is 00:28:03 set it up yet i got three days ago that's how crazy i am well, that's boring. We're not going to talk about that. I didn't even set it up yet. I got it three days ago. That's how crazy I am. Oh, dude, that's good. I like that. You know why? Because it makes him... He just shivered in his boots. Why does he hate that? He's just the least...
Starting point is 00:28:12 Dude, honestly, I've bought things at my house that he does not live at. Right. He'll come over, see a box somewhere, and not... Dude, like this for real. You're talking to me. You're me. The box is over there. You'll be... Yeah, yeah. Talking, what's going on that's because he's like it's like a it's like a boiling man a fucking heroin addict and like the fix is over like over there and he just wants to get it over with and get in his body
Starting point is 00:28:41 box is it what the fix is opening a box yeah the fix is and then setting it up though it's not just opening the box he has set up that's great you gotta have kids what do you call the thing that's like the intermediate for your sound system i forget um you know i'm talking about right a receiver receiver yeah he set up a receiver at my house yeah i did you get something complicated you don't even need help just invite chris macko over and let it make sure the box is in sight. Hey, come over for a loaf. Yeah. A loaf? Yeah, whatever.
Starting point is 00:29:06 I don't know how they're doing Brexit. Oh, I see. So you got to help me set up my phone now. Yeah, dude. Invite him over. Next week. All right. So anyway, our next one.
Starting point is 00:29:19 Oh, Chris coming out of Texas. My name is Dylan. Got to talk fast because I'm at work. What's up, Dylan? Love what you guys do. Keep on doing it. You've been with me through my days, and it's amazing. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:27 Check this out. Now, I went to go get a sandwich. Elaborate after this, okay? I want you guys to talk about it. What the fuck? Why can't people make sandwiches? Now, I come a little bit out of Italy myself. Northern Italy, my grandfather came down.
Starting point is 00:29:39 We love sandwiches. That's just what it is. Yeah. Why can't people make fucking decent sandwiches? We go buy a sandwich, make it right. Make it fucking right. Yeah. So if you ever had a fucked up sandwich, please, let's talk about it.
Starting point is 00:29:52 Because this is absolutely ridiculous with these kids getting hired and they have no idea how to make a sandwich. It's sad. It's interesting, yeah. Love you guys. I know you're working hard too. Later. Thanks, bro. It's true and it is weird every
Starting point is 00:30:06 time i've made my own sandwich i think why is this as good as a sandwich that i can get at a restaurant that's not how it should be well wait what i'm saying i make a sandwich and it's like that's great good i don't know like what the fuck i'm doing i'm just being like that's probably good that's probably good that's probably good right and then i bite it and i'm like but then i'll think about like you know what like what he's saying you go somewhere but you buy a sandwich and sometimes it's like this isn't good enough to be a thing that is sold at places oh nobody gives a shit about their job yeah but well obviously some sandwich places are the fucking best yeah they care or they just know what they're doing or keep an eye on employees so what he's saying and i agree with something's
Starting point is 00:30:49 going on something's going on at some of these places the scene in avatar at some of these places where it's like what are we doing why are you why are you even in business as a place it is weird i never really thought about that because dude when i make a sandwich no first of all nope and i'm telling you right now no place can make a better sandwich than i can make myself well sure that's okay okay you know what you like yeah i know yeah okay yeah but also if i make a sandwich for anybody that ever came around they'd go like this yo that was good really oh yeah what's interesting about that is i've never seen you make a sandwich for you or anyone else because you're always telling other people to do it yeah but they know how that's basically you making it you want me to make you a sandwich
Starting point is 00:31:36 kristen dude i um you want me to make you a sandwich mom yeah sorry i stepped on it you fucked it all up i should let you do it but um let me call my mom over uh so no uh yeah i could make you a fucking bangarang sandwich cool that you would be like and the next time you'd be like oh yeah no make the sandwich really oh yeah yeah oh hey dude i'm telling you the truth you're being weird about it and it's making me think maybe it's not the truth oh well i'll stop talking about it because it's true oh okay now i believe you anybody anytime someone says i'll fine i'll stop talking about it now they're being completely honest and everything they've already said is true just so everybody understands that so listen so you can uh yeah i that is actually i've never really thought about that but that's
Starting point is 00:32:22 a good point it's actually so easy to make a sandwich good. It's probably the easiest thing to make good that is of some sort of skill. Yeah. It's so easy. It's really easy. And you go to like, first of all, if you're a sandwich place and you make a sandwich that's less than an eight go to business it's crazy shutter the business yeah i agree yeah shutter your business but there's places like restaurants that have sandwiches those are i would say not good
Starting point is 00:33:00 90 or 95 of the time because if you're at a restaurant ordering a sandwich, that's just not their thing. That's not a thing to get at a restaurant. You know? I'm thinking. You'd get like a dish. Sometimes there's like a French dip or something at a fancy place. I guess so.
Starting point is 00:33:17 That's really good, you know? But French dips are better at like, you know, delis and shit. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. The sandwich place uh it's just bonkers it's bonkers that a place make a bad sandwich and it happens so much like and places like quiznos that's what i was just gonna say fucking terrible yeah yeah and that's what you do yeah oh man every sandwich from quiznos is bonkers shit i I disagree. I think that about Subway, though. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:33:45 Subway, you could get a good one. You're, sometimes you're just so wrong. It's nut rages, dude. It is complete nut rage how wrong you are. Honestly, Subway and Quiznos is bad. Sure. I can get a thing I like at Subway. That's how I feel about Quiznos.
Starting point is 00:34:03 That's it. What do you get at Quiznos? The fucking barbecue shit thing. Fuck, fuck. What do you get at Quiznos? The fucking barbecue shit thing. Fuck, fuck. Dude, you know what I hate more than any other flavor is barbecue. It's not good. Oh, really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:14 Oh, everyone loves barbecue. No, not me. Yeah. Oh, nice, dude. I like the kind of food barbecue almost the most. I don't prefer it. I love it. What does that mean?
Starting point is 00:34:23 Like you don't like barbecue sauce? Yes. Yeah, that's what he means. That's what I mean. Or like a... Oh love it. What does that mean? Like you don't like barbecue sauce? Yes. Yeah, that's what he means. That's what I mean. Or like a... Oh, Mr. What-to-fucking-sell-me-pen question. You couldn't deduce that? Well, you said...
Starting point is 00:34:32 You said, I don't like... Wait, what did you say? A car, a car, a car. An absolute car. A dying bird. Yeah, I don't like barbecue flavor is what I should say. Barbecue flavored chips is a thing and that's disgusting. Any kind of barbecue flavor.
Starting point is 00:34:56 If you're making chicken on a barbecue, okay. But I don't want you to do that brushing on it with the barbecue sauce. Okay, so you just don't like barbecue sauce Barbecue sauce See And you don't like You don't eat ribs You don't like ribs
Starting point is 00:35:10 Chili No I don't like ribs Chili First of all Here's the thing about the ribs Is dude I don't want to be Come out
Starting point is 00:35:17 Looking like I was in World War II After I eat Chili's baby back ribs There I did it But dude I don't want Do the barbecue sauce part That's the whole reason you were doing it No no no no no I already did the barbecue sauce part After I eat. I get that. Chili's baby back ribs. There, I did it. But dude, I don't want. Do the barbecue sauce part.
Starting point is 00:35:27 That's the whole reason you were doing it. No, no, no, no, no. I already did the barbecue sauce part. But you gotta do it all together. Nah, that's like a theater dork. I just did parts of it as I wanted to do it. But I don't want to. Dude, it's.
Starting point is 00:35:38 Oh, fuck. It's so annoying eating fucking ribs, dude. It really is. It's like, dude. First of all, it comes out out it looks like a dead body it's it's half of a fucking being and you're sitting here you got to break it off it's all over it's it's like you get it here you know what i mean yeah you do and then like and then afterwards the worst part is when they give you the fucking wet nap shit. It's not enough, yeah. It's this big.
Starting point is 00:36:07 It's enough for one and a half fingers. It's this big. It's the size of Anthony's penis, and I got to use it all over? Dude, and it sucked. You know what the worst is? Giving someone a wet nap. This shit drives me nuts. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 00:36:22 When somebody gives you a wet nap, it's the first thing they give you. When you, at an airplane, when you sit down and they're like, for what, dude? For what? You're acting like you're doing me a nicety? Get clean hands before you eat is why they do it.
Starting point is 00:36:42 Not so you can save it for later. Fuck that, dude. Because I'm chilling. Get clean hands before you eat is why they do it. Not so you can save it for later. Fuck. Fuck that, dude. What? Whoa. Because I'm chilling. Okay. Then say no.
Starting point is 00:36:51 I do. Okay. I go, no, I don't want that. Why are you so confrontational about it? It's not their idea. It's just like part of their job, you know? They didn't think like, that guy looks like he wants a wet nap. They go like this to the person next to me.
Starting point is 00:37:03 The guy always takes it. It's so cool to take that shit. It really is, man. And they just take it, and then they go. Before they even go down, they say, you don't need this. I don't want one. When the guy takes it, you should say, get real close to him. Say, why did you take that?
Starting point is 00:37:15 Like confrontation. I'm going to. Next time. Lean over and point at him. Next time, I'm going to ask him, why did you take that? And if he says, I wanted it, I say, no, no, no. Why? Why did you want it? say, no, no, no. Why? Why did you want it?
Starting point is 00:37:27 Break this down for me, please. He's going to be thinking, God, we've got four and a half more hours. Yeah, dude, especially when I'm on my way to Orlando. That's a long flight, my baby. Well, you know what's weird is when they give it to you and then people fucking are putting it on their face. Yeah, dude. What's that? What the fuck, dude?
Starting point is 00:37:43 I only wipe my ass with it. On a plate? Yeah, dude. What's that? What the fuck, dude? I only wipe my ass with it, but I don't. On a plate? Like lifting the arm thing so you can get closer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Sir, sir, sir, sir. You're like.
Starting point is 00:37:59 In their face. They hear you go. They hear you go they hear you go dude fucking planes are too they jam back people it's so tight dude you're just like this with the person next to you yeah dude yeah they got the nerve to be like, they got the nerve. It's crazy. Like the nerve, the fucking gall. Yeah. The sack to be like, can you lift your chair up? We got to land.
Starting point is 00:38:31 Dude, are you, like, that's the difference of me getting beheaded if we crash. You know what's my fucking least favorite thing planes do now? Is they try to shame your ass for having the exact number of carry-ons that they tell you you can have when you buy your ticket. They're like, their flight's really full. Oh, yeah. So if anybody's willing to check their bags that they have on, because, you know, if there's no room, you're going to have to check them anyway.
Starting point is 00:38:57 So you might as well do it now. It's like, no. I'm playing by the rules. I'm fucking doing exactly what I'm supposed to do. Dude, airlines are so shitty, bro. Do it better. Cut out 10 seats or even four and just make a little more room for people's fucking bags. Dude, the last plane I was on, they said, we can't take off.
Starting point is 00:39:18 I swear to God, we still need 16 more people to check bags. Dude, what? 16. It's such a shitty policy, dude. Like, you can't do the thing. Like, you can't say everyone gets two bags. And then if a flight's full and everyone has two bags, there's no possible way you can fit all the bags. That's a shitty policy.
Starting point is 00:39:40 How about this? Don't bring the fucking wet naps and fit another bag. Right. Just leave all the wet naps and fit another bag. Right. Just leave all the wet naps behind. No wet nap left behind. All right, let's get another one. No wet nap left behind. Hello, Chris and Matt.
Starting point is 00:39:57 It's Sofia all the way from Mexico, and I need help with a co-worker. Hi, Sofia from Mexico. He's the IT manager. He's probably 45 years old, and he's very kind, but he's creepy. There's something weird about him. And I'm 27 years old. And every time he sees me, he takes a photo of me and I don't want him taking photos of me. And for example, I'll be very focused at a meeting and he will take a photo.
Starting point is 00:40:15 He will send it through WhatsApp and he'll be like, why so serious? Or I'll be printing and he'll take a photo or I will be with more people and he will take the photo. But it's very obvious that I am the focus. I am in the middle of that shot. And I really don't want him taking photos of me. And I don't know what to do. What if I go to HR and they fire him and his three daughters suffer from this? Or what if they don't fire him and he'll be like, but I send the photos to her because that's why I think he sends them to me.
Starting point is 00:40:42 Or they don't fire him and then things become very weird and awkward every time we have to work together. So I don't know. Maybe there's something like a funny comeback. I can tell him or I don't know. Please help me out. What should I do? Or am I just exaggerating? And it's not that bad because I've asked around thinking this was like his way of being funny
Starting point is 00:41:02 and he doesn't take photos of anyone else. It's just of me. So I don't know. What should I do? I hate to break it to you, but whether he realizes it or not, he is flirting with you. And that, frankly, fucking sucks for you.
Starting point is 00:41:18 I'm sorry, I missed the beginning. Did she say it's her boss? It's a co-worker. A co-worker, not her boss. She said co-worker, I think. Did she say co-worker in the beginning? Yeah. Because that's a big difference. If it's a co-worker. A co-worker, not her boss. She said co-worker, I think. Did she say co-worker in the beginning? Yeah. Because that's a big difference. If it's her co-worker, just
Starting point is 00:41:29 straight up say, why do you always take pictures of me? That makes me really uncomfortable and I don't want... You don't have to say I don't want it, but just like ask. The best... Put him on his own heels because frankly, taking a picture of someone frequently without their consent or even like knowledge that you might be doing so is putting them back on their heels.
Starting point is 00:41:52 So it's like you're kind of just like. Yeah, true. It's like he can't not expect that. That's fucking shit. Dude, I'm so wary of even getting someone in the background of a photo that I'm taking. of even getting someone in the background of a photo that i'm taking if it's all people i know and like we're all in a public setting and like i anybody who's in a picture that i might be taking i want them to know or at least have signaled to me that it's okay for me to do that that's he's trying to fucking flirt with you and that is the worst way to do it yeah yeah he is he is
Starting point is 00:42:23 yeah he likes you which is so annoying annoying because it's. Yeah, yeah. He is. He is. Yeah, he likes you. Which is so annoying. Which is annoying because it's at work. But yeah, I would, I think, I mean, in America, that would be, the guy would go to like, you know, prison for nine years. But I think that you, I think that you should start by saying something to him. Yes. Yeah, for sure. Going directly to HR is like, it may not be necessary.
Starting point is 00:42:43 You don't want him to get fired. Because maybe it's, hey, dude, it makes me uncomfortable when you take pictures of me. Exactly. And then he says, oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. It never does it again. Exactly. You know what I'm saying? It's totally possible. He doesn't realize.
Starting point is 00:42:54 Obviously, it's possible. He doesn't realize he's making you uncomfortable. I mean, he could be bad at reading signs. He could be like, oh, this girl likes me. I mean, he could be like completely. Yeah. And sometimes all it takes is, yo, don't do that. And then people are like, oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:43:07 Yeah. Then my bad. Especially because it's at work. He's not going to want to get fired or get reported in HR. Yeah, for sure. True. That's why I was like, is it boss or coworker? If it's boss, it's a whole different thing.
Starting point is 00:43:20 It's way stickier. It sucks way more. True. But if it's a coworker, yeah, absolutely. Just bring it up with them directly. And be like, even if you don't have to ask, because honestly, who cares what the answer is? Just tell them, I'm not really comfortable
Starting point is 00:43:33 having my picture taken if you don't mind not taking my picture. And then if he does anything in retaliation, then you definitely go to HR. Of course, absolutely, yeah. But it's possible because he's already the kind of guy that's taking pictures of you without your consent he might do something like oh i'm sorry oh in america he would do that but in she's in mexico so it might be like
Starting point is 00:43:55 you're the daughter of a motherless goat you know what i mean like that's yeah but i'm not making but that's in mexico mexico they do crazy shit okay like. Like honor? Yeah. You're the motherless goat. Okay. Well, in any case, he might say something defensive. Whatever he says, even if it fucking is total asshole bullshit, just let it go by. Because the point is you want him to stop taking your picture. That's all that matters. He can be as defensive, as childish as he wants in response.
Starting point is 00:44:29 All you need to do is convey that you don't want that to happen anymore and just so you know that is not rude of you at all no it's not rude yeah that is not even remotely rude in any way it's a boundary i guess yeah well wow you know uh that sucks dude god that sucks We've gotten to a few things like that. This is why dudes are annoying. Guys at the workplace, stop. Stop. And the gym. Stop it. Just stop it.
Starting point is 00:44:56 Guys are just kind of annoying in that way. Yeah, it's really weird, man. And then they get bunched up, too. They get all balled up, dude. When you approach them about it sometimes. So be prepared. But God, man, I don't envy that with women. That's terrible.
Starting point is 00:45:10 That's so annoying. Because as a man, you'd be like, yo, bro. But as a woman, you have to worry about, well, maybe he'll stab me. A number of things beyond even actual violence. There's a number of things to worry about. It totally sucks. All right. Want to do the next one?
Starting point is 00:45:24 I take pictures of Anthony all the time. Chris, you're my heart. You get me. Matt, you're a wise, wonderful soul. I love you guys so much. Thank you. So I've been living on the Jersey Shore for the past four years. And I go for walks on the boardwalk a lot.
Starting point is 00:45:36 And I see the same man every time for four years. And every time he walks by me, he's so chipper and kind. And he gives me a good morning, says it the same exact way every time and just recently it's been starting to bug me oh and i'm like that's probably like so rude and so deeper but today i just decided i'm gonna beat him to it so i saw him walking from a distance and i yelled over like hey good morning and it just made me giggle and i was like thinking about the whole idea of like saying hi to strangers and i'm a recovering people pleaser so i feel like i used to always think like i had to smile back and like say hi or like give someone a smile and be kind and like i know there's value to that but at the same time i'm in my 30s now i'm tired i'm like
Starting point is 00:46:14 i don't feel like wasting my energy on like faking a smile to a stranger but then if i don't am i like so rude god that's weird i just want to see what you guys thought of that. The whole thing is actually so benign, but also deeply rooted in pleasing people. Wow. Here's the problem with all of it, and there's only one. You're thinking about it too much. Full stop the end.
Starting point is 00:46:41 Wow. Whether you smile or not. That's a good one. Does not matter. Whether you smile back or not. Does not matter. Whether you smile back or not does not matter. It probably doesn't. And I'll tell you why it doesn't matter. Even if someone smiles at you and you don't smile back,
Starting point is 00:46:56 even if, which they're not going to, but maybe in some cases someone will be like, what an asshole. Within three seconds, not only will that person forget about the interaction they will completely forget that you exist when we're worrying so much about this people pleasing stuff because i do it too so i can relate but we're what we're also what we're actually doing is elevating in our own minds our sense of how much we actually matter to people yeah we don't matter at all to strangers well they don't give a fuck about us not really they want us in general like
Starting point is 00:47:31 well-being they care about but yeah they don't specifically care about us as individuals so after they've passed us and we're no longer in their line of sight they're not thinking about us whether you were rude or not and by the way it's not rude to just not smile it's not rude to just it's only rude to be rude so if you're not being rude they're not going to remember you good morning fuck you yeah that would be rude that would count you know they might remember you in case you did if you did that isn't that interesting though yeah it's interesting yeah like so you know sometimes people will come up
Starting point is 00:48:08 and say you know that they're like either a fan or like something to me like or just hey you know and i'm always like i'm i'm always appreciative always, but then sometimes I'm like different levels of in a good mood. Of course. You know? And occasionally I walk away and I think, I hope I was enough nice enough that the, where they don't think I'm a dick and I didn't ruin it for them. Like the idea of me,
Starting point is 00:48:41 you know, I, I, I think about that sometimes. And I'm like, it's so weird because i don't i i genuinely am appreciative whenever somebody comes up to me and says something nice but also like i don't owe them anything and and as like a like a person even, I don't mean as someone who's a fan,
Starting point is 00:49:05 you don't really owe somebody, a stranger, any of your time. No, you don't. But if she were to just not say shit, I mean, 95% of people would think she's an asshole. If he said, you know what I'm saying? More than that. If he walked by her and said good morning yeah she didn't do anything yeah she said something that i personally disagree with she
Starting point is 00:49:32 called it a or implied with so many words that it's a waste of her energy to smile back or i don't feel like that is an expenditure of my energy to the point that i'm like gonna miss that energy yeah the course of the day right if somebody smiles at me i will i will i will always smile yeah me too and i will do so because that actually makes me feel good i like walking by a stranger having like a really brief non-interaction with them just exchanging some kind of vague nicety because i like believing that people in the world generally in like a vague broad overview way care about other people i feel that way and it's it makes me feel good when i'm led to believe other people feel that way as well that's just me though i don't know i guess i guess yeah if i say good morning to someone that i'm walking by like a
Starting point is 00:50:23 neighbor and they just keep their face straight and keep walking, I'll definitely think, well, what a fucking asshole. So, yeah, yeah. But also, sometimes it takes more energy to not do the thing, for me at least. Right. Well, that's kind of what she's implying. I mean, she's putting so much mental effort into this.
Starting point is 00:50:41 She's thinking about it too much, full stop, you're right. It's almost like what you're saying is it's less energy, ultimately, to just say it back, because then it's like you're done with it. You're's thinking about it too much full stop you're right it's almost like you'll what you're saying is you it'll be it's less energy ultimately to just say it back because then it's like you're not thinking about it yeah yeah that's good so just save yourself the energy of having to like recap it and go over it over and over again and just yeah just say good morning yeah think about it as a exercise for yourself you're doing it because saving yourself further i was going to say that because this is and I was going to say this in the beginning of when she started talking, this is the thing I thought of is that all this says more about
Starting point is 00:51:11 you than it does about him anyway. Oh, yeah. So, yeah. A hundred percent. Back to that in my head. But yeah, that's, yeah. So just say it. So yeah, do the thing that's going to require the least amount of energy.
Starting point is 00:51:21 And that thing, counterintuitively, is doing it back, leaving it where you find it, and then just going about your life and not thinking about it anymore. How interesting. And you know what? It's just like, oh, no, that's the worst point. No. Okay. You'll see. Next one.
Starting point is 00:51:38 Okay. What's good, Matt? What's good, Chris? I have a question for you guys. I'll get right to it. Last time I was in a really long-term relationship, it lasted for 10 years. I lived with my ex for about nine of those years. Stayed single for maybe three months before I hopped back into another long-term relationship.
Starting point is 00:52:06 I'm 32 years old. He's 31 years old. And both of our leases are up and we've decided to take the jump and move in together. It's the most mature relationship I've ever been in. And so I'm not like too worried about compatibility and we've been together long enough that we know how each other kind of lives, like how he does the dishes, the cleanliness factor, like compatible on all fronts. My issue lies with those three months that I was single. I very much for the first time in my life learned to enjoy me time and I'm finding myself already getting irritable with like the littlest things, little ticks that normally wouldn't bother anybody and normally wouldn't bother me. Little tics that normally wouldn't bother anybody And normally wouldn't bother me
Starting point is 00:52:44 And I find myself worried About if we live together not having enough Personal Space How would you go about dealing with that? Thanks so much, love you guys, and Chris Sorry you had such a bizarre time in Montreal Cheers
Starting point is 00:52:59 Oh, oh, she's talking about Because I got heckled But it wasn't It was nothing That's sweet of you to say thank you I knew she was Canadian do you know Yeah I think two things about this
Starting point is 00:53:17 You want to go first You go first I I think Here's This is not really an answer to a question but it's my takeaway you feel those things that waiting to move in is not going to make those things yeah go away yeah yeah you're what i'm saying is if you want to be with this person for a long time you're going to have to deal with this at some point because at some point you are going to live together so might as well do it and see how it plays out and if it becomes an issue create and he'll he'll understand this if he's a good partner
Starting point is 00:53:56 if you say like look i really uh i'm realizing how much i value and kind of need alone time and yeah moving forward i would like to you know fit that into our life together that can mean me leaving it can mean you leaving home for whatever it is you know like but you know i think it's important for our overall health as a couple for me to have alone time he will absolutely understand yeah i think uh i i think you know i don't know i mean people make it work it's tough to do like 10 years in a relationship and then jump back into another one it's like somebody might be like well then how do you even know who you really are if you've never been alone and stuff but it's like that whole being alone thing, that whole having time to yourself and wanting that,
Starting point is 00:54:52 I don't think that ever goes away. Like you're not going to, like just because you do for, like say five years go by and you don't live with him and then you think, okay, I got it all out of my system. Like that's just not how it works. You're not going to get it out of your system yeah i think you're just growing up you're 32 now and other things are important to you and maybe this relationship the first one ending was a catalyst
Starting point is 00:55:14 to change right and and that's how you realized it um also 20 to 30 oh my god i know i know i know i know yeah because when you're 22 you don't want alone time. You just want to be with everybody. And when you're 32, you want alone time. When you're 22, you don't fucking know any fuck thing in the whole fuck world.
Starting point is 00:55:32 When you're 32, you know some- Dennis Farina. Fucking things. Yeah. Right. So, yeah, I think that it's more about growing up
Starting point is 00:55:39 and less about having your, uh-oh, am I missing out on something? i think that you're just realizing who you are through the midst of what's happening in your life um really this other dude if he's worth any weight if you just say like yo i'm realizing in my last relationship i didn't have me time i need to have me time and he's anything other than like oh okay yeah he should want that yeah i mean maybe it's like i understand if someone said to me i might in the beginning be a little insecure about it like well why does she want to
Starting point is 00:56:13 spend all her time with me but like then the next thought is oh wait i'm an adult she's an adult she's telling me what she needs okay great not me if someone said that to me early on or that you about immediately propose marriage to them Because I want I want to be alone too I need a lot of alone time Yes exactly Yeah And then
Starting point is 00:56:33 Will you marry me Separate for a few days To have alone time And then Will you marry me In six years Yeah that's That's
Starting point is 00:56:42 Good You know We do a lot of silly stuff on this podcast, but when we buckle down, we really can give people some good advice. Yeah, especially me. Especially me, I was just going to say. Should we do one more?
Starting point is 00:56:57 Sure. Give the people what they want? A model. A mugshot. Hey, Matt. AI, dude. Big fan of both of you. Quick question today. Growing your hair both of you. Quick question today.
Starting point is 00:57:05 Growing your hair out. You both have longer hair. I'm growing it out from a buzz cut. I look better with hair. My wife thinks I look better with hair. I'm just not patient, and I keep buzzing it off because it's one of my quirks with dealing with OCD. It's a deeper. But, yeah, any advice for growing it out?
Starting point is 00:57:25 Thanks. I mean, you look for growing it out? Thanks. I mean, you look good. I only know you like this. Yeah, he looks good. But he's saying he wants long hair. Then just fucking wait it out, bro. Dude, yeah. Your wife likes it better too. That's the thing. When you get the urge to cut it, just remind yourself, but my wife
Starting point is 00:57:41 likes it better when my hair is here. And that's my wife and I want her to like my hair. Also, he likes it better when my hair is here and that's my wife and i want her to like my hair also he likes it better he said right but i'm saying if obviously his own willpower is not oh got it yeah allowing for him to i'm saying let it be about her uh put it about her and maybe you'll have a little bit more uh courage to wait out, dude. Because right now... You pussy. You're pussing out. Every time you go to buzz your hair, go back and play this clip. Don't be a fucking little wussy baby man.
Starting point is 00:58:16 Okay. Okay? Right. Don't be a fucking little wussy baby man. Just let your hair grow. Or every time you go... Look in the mirror in your eyes and say, I'm a wuss
Starting point is 00:58:25 you know because that's wuss behavior dude and i'm not for that man yeah you're a little wussy baby you know what you know what you're doing uh you're keeping it you're keeping it real dry for your wife man are you or are you not a little wussy baby man right yeah it's honestly comes down it's as simple as that it's as simple as that if you buzz your hair before it gets long again you're a little baby man put a little wussy baby man and you need diapers yep you need diapers and you need little toys yep that are made out of whatever material that you can bite so that you don't swallow it get one of those things that you tie around like this yep and yeah Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get a pacifier because you are a little wussy fucking baby.
Starting point is 00:59:08 Yeah. Okay? And sit down on your bottom with your legs out and sometimes fall over. Yeah. Yeah. And don't use your hands to stop your fall. Right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:18 Yeah. Hit your head and then cry. Hit your chin and cry. Yep. And bite your lip. Yep. Have too much blood come out because, yeah. And, yeah. chin and cry and bite your lip yep have too much blood come out because yeah and yeah shit and then also in your diaper and then uh spit out only milk yeah you're a baby yeah you are a little
Starting point is 00:59:34 wussy yep baby man and these are the things that you should be doing instead of sleep in a crib yeah honestly get a crib you might have kids if If you have kids, take them out. Yep. Because they're older than you. Yep. You get in the crib. Yeah. And because now you are the baby. And that's who you are now. Sweetheart, hey, I'm cutting my hair.
Starting point is 00:59:55 Good night. I'm getting in the crib. Yeah. Yep. But will you put me in there? Yeah. And cradle me? Change me?
Starting point is 01:00:01 Yeah. Get me a changing table? Just like this? change me. Get me a changing table. Just like this. You put diaper on just because you cut your hair because you're a wuss.
Starting point is 01:00:11 You're a little wussy baby. So there you go, man. Don't be a little wussy baby, man. And your hair will grow and everything will be fine. We believe in you, man. Yeah, you can do it. All right.
Starting point is 01:00:21 So that's it. Appreciate you. My special Grow or Die is out now go to chrisaleah.com and check out the special it's Sunday what else you gonna do dude watch it
Starting point is 01:00:30 go to theprivaterecord.com and submit yourself as a guest for my new podcast The Private Record yeah and then other than that I will be in Baltimore
Starting point is 01:00:39 Trenton Philadelphia and Reading Preach love ya bye bye broken Trenton, Philadelphia, and Reading. Prish, love ya. Bye-bye. Broke it.

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