Loremen Podcast - Breaking the Lore 01

Episode Date: February 24, 2022

Ahead of tonight's Livestream (Update this has happened now... https://youtu.be/qlnDKuUR43Y) The LoreBois round up all the breaking Lore in a new segment - Breaking the Lore!

James. Alistair. Shakespeare. Becker King. Correct. Yes. Now that we've cleared that up, let's begin. I think it's a while since we did a news round style folklore roundup.

Yes. In as much as we've, I don't think we've ever done that before. No. I thought we could call it Breaking the Law. Oh, Breaking the Law. That's really good. Breaking the Law. Breaking the Law. That's really good. Breaking the Law. Breaking the Law.

Brilliantly combining that song with the Ghosts of Britain music. I'm looking at the spooky ticker tape, showing me what all the latest spooky occurrences have been. Oh, there's so many. We live in spooky times. We do. There's at least three. I think there's exactly three.

First up, let's go to the Quantock Hills in Somerset. Get your bleeping finger ready. Uh-oh. Yeah, as I tell you that... Get the snake, the bleep snake ready to hiss. According to the Daily Mirror, you don't have to bleep that. Oh. I specifically didn't choose the Daily Mail.

A local beauty spot in Somerset the quantock hills was haunted by a rude woman in white ghost who tells people to f**k off oh she is a malevolent spirit this uh the report comes from christine and dave thomas oh go on apparently avid ghost hunters who launched an investigation into the apparition in 2020, according to the Mirror. I'm quoting directly, Christine claims she was shouted at and told to f*** off

by the, quote, nasty evil spirits. I guess it's kind of, it says something about the human condition that even ghosts don't like ghost hunters. I mean, what do you expect?

You're in a hunter-hunted scenario. Like, how do we think foxes feel about fox hunts? They're probably like, I live here. Yeah, they're probably swearing in fox. So I don't know why I would expect ghosts to be keen on ghost hunters. They don't call themselves ghost finders.

Yeah, ghost friends, ghost buddies. I heard it is said to haunt an area known as Dead Woman's Ditch at Overstowie. Overstowie. Overstowie. That's the name of the village. I'm so Overstowie, is what I bet people say in that village quite a lot. You're absolutely right.

I miss the fact that the apparition had been seen in Dead Woman's Ditch. I wonder what put them in mind. Of an angry ghost. In DWD? In Dead Woman's Ditch. Yeah. Next, James, I'd like to take you, and this is more of a angry ghost. In DWD? In Dead Woman Ditch. Yeah. Next, James, I'd like to take you, and this is more of a visual one.

Oh, yeah. So I would invite you to use your descriptive powers, to use the vocabulary, the lexicon at your disposal to try and conjure an image in the mind of those listeners who are capable of doing so. Oh, is this Wales Online, reported on Twitter by at Wales Online. Correct. Major news organisation, Wales Online. Sorry, that's the country. It's not just a series of tweets that are just O's. Is this the official Twitter account of Wales? I guess. Well, Wales Online. So I thought I was just making fun of a Welsh magazine. It looks like I'm making fun of Wales

in general. I'm looking at webcam footage, which is the classic place to find ghosts. From Porthcawl, a coastal town. And what we're seeing is a black and white image of a camera looking out onto, would you call it a jetty? Yes. A pontoon? I don't know what a pontoon is, apart from a card game. A card game, yes. It's a card game. Yeah. We're looking out onto some things it looks like fireworks it looks like someone's let off a load of fireworks that aren't yes mysterious lights streak across the image looking very much like meteorites traveling almost horizontally there were fireworks being fired in weird angles they seem to bounce around what did a spin they've been identified as fairies or spirits by many people.

But apparently, they called in the big guns, the RNLI. R? Royal National Lifeboat Institute. I don't know. That is absolutely correct. The Royal National Lifeboat Institute, who are basically Wales' version of the Men in Black. Anything spooky happens, they call in the RNLI.

And they're like, you didn't see anything. Shut your mouth. and then they hit you with a love spoon is that how they do the mind blanking thing yeah they don't have the Will Smith thing

they just they hold a love spoon up in front of you and you expect a flash but then bang boom right on the nose don't do it again yeah don't do that again

mind you like a naughty cat I'll be off with you I've forgotten how to do a Welsh accent there you didn't see any spirits here. Anyone ask you what it was?

What did they say it was? Well, the explanation is not marsh gas or whatever you might expect. Willows O' Wisps. It's a nighttime video and there's an infrared floodlight lighting up the scene

for the camera, not for our human eyes. And apparently those infrared beams are reflecting off the seafoam, they say, creating the impression of mysterious fairies, which is... Very convenient. I've got to be honest. I'm kind of a camera person and I'm quite interested in light works and I don't understand.

I don't understand how that would happen. But hey, if the RNLI say that's what's happening, who am I to dispute it? The sort of person who'd be asking for a little swift love tap from the love spoon. Exactly. Far be it from me to call them RNL liars. Oh, my word.

I would say that you had set up at Wales Online. I created the whole thing. And created that story in order to facilitate that lovely part. Travel back in time and established the village of Porthcawl. Well, you established Wales. Yeah, I'm that big king. That big Welsh king who created Wales. You remember from the Mabinogi.

Yes, Brian Blessed. Brian the Blessed, yeah. And my third roundup for you. Returning to the Daily Mirror, because I think they've nailed it with the headline, Ghost Busted, Man Find for Pretend to Be a Ghost. A lot of people sent me this one. In this year, over this past year,

I've been sent that story a number of times. Well, I can see why. It is well within your wheelhouse. Is it a crime to pretend to be a ghost? I don't understand why this guy's been fined for making spooky noises, says the Daily Mirror, and, quote, throwing himself backwards. That's not legal, is it? That's not particularly ghosty.

No. He was waving his arms and going, woo. Woo, and saying woo. That's what the police spokesman said. Yes, he was saying woo. The court heard that he'd been drinking with friends, and then they went to this cemetery and started to play football, and then witnesses reported the group engaging in rowdy behaviour,

and one of them throwing their arms in the air and saying woo. That doesn't sound that much like he was pretending to be a ghost, actually. No, it sounds like he was mostly playing football. He was fined £35 in order to pay £20 victim surcharge and £20 in costs. That's actually very reasonable for court costs, 20 quid. Yeah. I honestly thought lawyers charged more than that. I thought they famously charged a lot more.

Unless it was just sort of straight in, ghost, bang. You know the way on TV judges have gavels? Yes. Tung, tung, tung, order, order. Are you aware, I think most people are aware now, that in British courts, judges don't use gavels. Right. That's auctioneers.

Ah. But they've got a similar desk, and so every production designer for every TV show has gone, eh, close enough. That's pretty similar. It's like in the marriage vows in Britain or in England, you don't say, I do. Don't you?

You say, I will. I will. It's a weird sort of, that's approximately correct. Like if a surgeon had knitting needles, you'd be like, yeah, that's pretty much what you have. Yeah. That's similar to another object that someone who does a similar job would use.

You know what? Actually, while we're here, just put a break on breaking the law. We have a lot of American listeners and this is something I really need to clear up. Listen up. Daddy Shake Shaft's talking. Sorry for interrupting you

to tell people to listen up, James. Carry on. That's okay. No, no, no. I appreciate that. Listen up, it's Daddy Shake. Question time. Hard question. Right. American funerals. Are they really that al fresco? that's okay no no no i appreciate that listen up it's daddy shakes question time hard question

right american funerals are they really that al fresco do you know what i mean everyone's naked no i mean outside they're always outside come rain or shine yeah and it always is rain yeah that's usually a pathetic fallacy yeah but like they have chairs set out and stuff. The main focus of the funeral seems to be graveside. Yeah. Whereas in the UK the main focus

of the funeral is in a church. Yeah. And then there is a bit where they, if it's a burial where they put, where they bury the coffin.

Yeah. They usually slide it out through those sort of tubes that builders have on the sides of buildings that look a bit like water slides. Oh, they do look fun.

Yeah, they do. Just pop the coffin out one of those. From the top of the church tower. Yeah. It's a bit like water slides. Oh, they do look fun. Yeah, they do. Just pop the coffin out one of those. It's from the top of the church tower. It's a whole game we play. Yeah, that's how we do it in England. It's like bat the rat, but really disrespectful. And if you can hit grandma with a love spoon, you inherit.

Yeah, that's what I want to know. Are they really that outside? Well, write in and tell us, please, American listeners. Yes, please, please. Are American funerals as outdoors? Outdoorsy, yeah. As so-called Hollywood would have us believe. Thanks, everyone.

Oh. Thank you. And while we're here. Yeah, while we're here. This whole thing was just a pretext to let you know that we're doing a live stream. The whole thing, including the invention of whales. I travelled back in time and created whales.

In order to do a pun, in order to make you feel, you the listener, feel less duped into listening to an advert for a live stream, which is what this is. That is this evening, Thursday the 24th of February. Or last evening, if you're listening to this on Friday. At which point it will be too late. Yes. You'll be able to watch it archived.

Oh yeah, I forgot about that. If someone hit you hard enough with a love spoon you might be able to convince yourself that it was live. But if you want to catch us live get involved in the chat. Mm-hmm.

Go to youtube.com forward slash lawmen podcast or twitch.tv forward slash lawmen pod. Just pod that time. At 8pm Greenwich Mean Time. Gumpt. Gumpt. Gumpt. tv forward slash lawmen pod just pod that time at 8 p.m greenwich meantime so we hope to see you there uh 2022 oh 2022 yes yes of course we really need to put a year on it these days so james yeah that's all i have to say but i'm going to ask you one question

that might give you the tiniest tiniest hint of what we're going to talk about. Have you ever found yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile? Yes. Follow-up question. Did you ask yourself, how did I get here? No. I mean, that seems like you've really not been paying attention to your driving. The reason I ask that is I'm going to be talking to you about talking heads. Ah, righty. You see what I'm going to be talking to you about talking heads.

Ah, righty. You see what I was getting at there? Yes. It was laboured. It was laboured, but like the RNLI-er pun, it caused me great joy. Well, I'm looking forward to that. I'll see you later for it then. Bye.

Bye.