Loremen Podcast - Edinburgh Postcard Minisode

Episode Date: August 25, 2022

Alasdair Beckett-King sends an audio postcard from Scotland's own Edinburgh. What does he get up to between shows? Find out here!

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C'est facile à utiliser et vous obtenez vos remises par PayPal ou par chèque. L'idée est simple. Les magasins paient Rakuten pour leur envoyer des gens magasinés. Et Rakuten partage l'argent avec vous sous forme de remise. Téléchargez l'application gratuite Rakuten et ne manquez jamais un bon deal. Ou allez sur rakuten.ca pour en avoir plus pour votre argent. C'est R-A-K-U-T-E-N. The unseen. The empty space. Speaking of which, welcome to Lawmen, Minisoad. Catch up with Alistair in Edinburgh. Hi, James.

Hello. Hello, Alistair in Edinburgh. Hello from Edinburgh. Oh, the views. The views. I'm saying that because I'm in a wardrobe. Staring at cottons. All I can see is some shirts and a pillowcase that I put in here.

Spare pillowcase. You are living. Yes. Well, Alistair, while you've been away, we've had a postbag full of post. Physical mail? Physical mail. Now, you mean email, surely? No, no, no. Physical mail. What?

Actual gifts. Gifts? Gifts with a T, not emails with gifts on them. It's actually pronounced jifts, James. Yeah, we've got a number of gifts in no particular order uh there is a couple of books from spokane or spokane in america's spokane spokane from the looks of it because there's two whole books about the ghosts from there and that was a lovely gift yeah this

is from ellen buckles almost misread that as Ellen Buckles, which would be very nominatively deterministic considering they sent me two books and a bunch of stickers that are really cool. Thank you very much. Yes, thank you very much, Ellen. I'm working my way through those books. They're really good. Plus, we have got something from E.P. Mills.

It's two little zines. Not from the single or album version of Mills, but the EP. The true fans have the EP of Mills. It's a zine called Mothology, which is an entomological A to Z of folklore and myth. Are we talking about Lepidoptera? I don't know if he is a leopard or a doctor.

The order to which moths belong. Myths about moths. Moth myths? Yeah, moth myths. Are we talking about the Mothmen, North East America's fabled Mothman? Is that what we're talking about? No, actually.

Well, he hasn't got that because it's an A to Z, and he's done the first two volumes. So he's got the ant, he's got the bee, he's got the cicada, the devil's coach horse, which is a new insect to me. Funnily enough, he asks if we have any more creepy crawly-based myths and legends, and he should probably check out the last episode, which had the old hodmodod. The hod last episode, which had the old Hodmodod. The Hodmodod, yes. The Hodmodod. So there's some

mythology related to the little snail. Although, do they creep and crawl? They definitely move slowly. I don't know if they crawl. They move sluggishly. They do indeed. They're probably the only thing that moves sluggishly aside from a slug. The snail really dodged a bullet when it came to the naming of that type of movement.

Yeah, yeah, it really did. Unlike whoever invented the lazy Susan's friend Susan. You've invented what? Yeah, yeah, I like to have cakes without moving. Who doesn't? How is that just me? I'm not the only person that asks you to pass things. Unbelievable.

I'm not the only person that asks you to pass things. Unbelievable. And all the way from Germany, I believe the town Werther. Werther. Or Werther. Werther. Werther. I thought you said there, there, like if someone's upset.

There, there. It's going to be hard to give directions to a town called there, there. Oh. You always think you're not there. Where are you? I'm there so no no here i'm here where is here there there where there and so forth is where there i wonder if that's where the original sweets come from the the original the proto where there's originals the beta test i'm not sure about that because the age of the man in the word there's originals advert means that he was certainly alive during the Second World War. And if they were

originally German sweets, this raises questions for me. Hey, listen, some things that came out of Germany between 1939 and 1945 weren't absolutely terrible. You're thinking of Fanta? Yeah, I'm thinking of Fanta, yes. You know what, James? I'm

way ahead of you. I actually met Nicole. What? Yeah, she came to see the show. Really? And she told me that she'd sent a letter. Did she? Is she lovely? She seems lovely.

She was lovely. From her handwriting, she seems amazing. Yep. Oh, she has incredible handwriting, yes. I hadn't seen that. I hadn't got the letter when I saw it, but she came and she told me that she'd sent us a letter. Thanks for checking in on Alistair for me. Really kind, everyone.

Thank you very much. And do you want to hear we got some great reviews yeah yeah please please very brief one from prof is nuts uh the review simply says this podcast is a dog's worth of gold good reference to an early episode there. And this is from also Jeff. The wind, calm embrace, tranquil pools beckon. A twig snaps sharply in the distance. The dish towel, still slightly warm and damp, rests in a heap on a cool stone countertop. Abandoned in haste, it will surely wrinkle.

Now, actually reading that out, I don't know if they've just if they've worked out how to get into my um dulcet safe i don't know if i've said all the code words to um enable some sort of an assassin yeah so i thanks i think that's a poem though i think what someone's done there is they've trolled us or they've trolled me specifically with a poem. Yep. Because they know I'm cultured and I would enjoy a poem.

Fair play also, Geoff. You win this time. So, Alistair, what have you been up to? Well, I have composed a little Edinburgh postcard for you, which I recorded out on the streets of Edinburgh. The mean streets. Actually, they are quite mean. If you're an older person, they're very mean.

They're all cobbly and very difficult. If you haven't warmed your calves up as well, ooh, yeah. Yeah. Also, there's a bin strike on, so they are filthy. Absolutely. I support the strikes. I'm not going to scab by picking up even the smallest piece of litter. In fact, I've been littering in support of the strikes. I'm not going to scab by picking up even the smallest piece of litter. In fact, I've been littering in support of the strikes.

Good lad. But it is horrible. Is Newtown going over to the seagulls now? Yeah, yeah, we can't go. You can't go into Newtown. If you're out in Newtown with a chip, you won't be seen again. All children carried off. Sunil went there with a chip three days ago.

He hasn't been back since. So here is my Edinburgh postcard. Oh, yes. I don't know if you can hear the sound of the rain on my umbrella or the hustle, nay, bustle of Edinburgh, the capital city of Scotland. But this is Alastair Beccan King, field reporting, sending a little postcard to James Shakespeare about what it's like to really commit to something and actually go to the Edinburgh Fringe.

I thought it was about time, so just talking about Arthur's Seat, the rugged crags of Arthur's Seat to actually get out there and climb it. But then it did start to rain, so I'm going to go to the museum instead. I was just standing with Deputy Lawperson Eleanor Morton, and we saw star of the stage and screen, Ian McCallum, walking down the narrow streets of Edinburgh. And actually, the street was so narrow. I was so tempted to block the way and say, you shall not pass, which I think he would have loved.

I think he would have seen the funny side of it. I didn't do it. And now I live forever in regret that I did an inconvenience at National Treasure for my own amusement. But that's Edinburgh. Edinburgh is a city of dark deeds, monsters, ghosts and ghouls, horrible little goblins. And actually it's been a while since I've seen Chris Kentroff, but I hear his show's going really well, so that's good. I'm walking down

a very damp and drizzly Chambers Street, outside the National Museum of Scotland. That was the sound of a child. And I am mounting the steps of a child. And I am mounting the steps of the National Museum of Scotland.

Where in lies... Oh, this is not actually the way in, sorry. Oh, back down the steps. Oh, yeah, yeah, so I know it was the way in, it was the way in. But no, there's a big load of steps, but they don't want you going up the steps. I'm standing in the entrance hall of the National Museum of Scotland, where there is the skull of Moby, a sperm whale,

which is pretty massive, to be honest. And it's also the site of my annual Edinburgh Fringe joke. I always try and make a joke while I'm here. The information panel for the whale is labeled Washed Up Whale. And what I do is I point at that and I say, the people who write these things just didn't have what it takes to become whales themselves. It's my little Edinburgh Fringe joke. Always washed up in the fourth on Easter Monday in 1997.

It was very easy to start out in 1997. There were only about 10 whales going in those days. I have a quick addendum. Ray, my previous message about the whale, I'm aware that I said I was looking at the skull of Moby, and listeners may have thought I was referring to the musical artist Moby. I wasn't, just to clarify. I'm here on the top floor of the museum

because I had heard that the miniature coffins of the strange little puppets that were found in Arthur's seat could be seen here in the Museum of Scotland. And it turns out they can, but you actually have to pay ten quid to see them. So I'm just not prepared to do that for the podcast. So I'm just having a look at the replicas that they did for the ITV drama Rebus. Ian Rankin's Rebus in 2005. They made little replicas and they're on display as well but you don't have to pay anything to see those. The coffins are about 15 centimetres long

and only about four centimetres wide and mostly square. Some of them are coffin-shaped. They've got rigid, stiff-looking figurines. They almost look like peg dolls. But again, bear in mind, they're just a prop off the telly. Very creepy, though.

A very helpful tour guide named Alan showed us them. He also likes Rebus. He thinks Ken Stott was the better Rebus. And I have to say, no shade on John Hanna, but I agree. Ken Stott embodied the role better. I'm not certain that this is, strictly speaking, folklore. But this is where my journey ends, looking at little objects that were made in 2005 for a TV show.

If you recall the episode about the Mr. of the Office Seat Coffins, there is much speculation about the purpose for which they were created. Were they representative of the victims of Burke and Hare, who Alan was quick to remind us were Irish, not Scottish? Or were they just a weird thing that someone did, as is my favourite theory? People do weird things all the time, don't they? Ten quid, no way. Not paying it.

Not paying ten quid. Not paying ten quid for that. Right, OK, some points. Yes? So, yeah, I didn't go to Edinburgh because I've stayed here with my wife and two children. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes. Lazy. Lazy. And getting the most of my Disney Plus subscription.

So, you're fine. Yeah, that was a little bit snide. I'm sorry, James. And getting the most of my Disney Plus subscription. That was a little bit snide. I'm sorry, James. That's okay. It's okay. I'm glad you're doing something, seeing replicas of some things. And it's probably best I'm not up there because if I saw that big whale with that sign, I'd just be like, you and me both, buddy. You and me both.

Try and feed it a dram. Oh, Paul. I promise never to mount your skull in a museum with a sarcastic plaque next to it I promise biggest head around when we build lawmen world the theme park you I will never mount

your enormous vastly oversized head on a stand and have little Scottish children look at it biggest head most people had seen.

Hi, I'm Alistair Beckett-King, comedian and aristocratic time traveller, and I want to tell you about Fairy World and Magic Town. It's a new podcast all about folklore, but without any jokes or slanderous remarks. From me and my co-host, Neil Ion. Yeah, and I'm Neil Ion, and I will not be silenced From me and my co-host, Neil Ayan.