Loremen Podcast - S3 Ep63: Loremen S3 Ep63 - April Fools' LIVE

Episode Date: April 8, 2021

Those mischievous Loremen celebrated April Fools' Day the only way they know how: a live stream! Listen in for tales of impossible frogs, the dangers of 'lad banter' and, of course, dead body hijinks. Think of this episode as a sort of Bank Holiday Weekend at Bernie's. *MOOIE WARNING KLAXON:* Mooie warning. Loreboys nether say die! Support the Loremen here (and get stuff): patreon.com/loremenpod ko-fi.com/loremen @loremenpod www.twitch.tv/loremenpod www.instagram.com/loremenpod www.facebook.com/loremenpod @JamesShakeshaft | @MisterABK

Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from days of yore. I'm Alistair Beckett-King. And I'm James Shakeshaft. And on April Fool's Day 2021... You know how to spell it. What? I can't remember if that's the catchphrase. James and I got together to do a live stream with a group of hand-picked select oddballs in the chat. I looked up a story about an impossible frog.

And I just warned people not to play practical jokes involving corpses. On the subject of warnings, if you are frightened by spooky shadows in graveyards, be aware this episode contains... Mui warning. A mui warning. And if you don't know what a mooie is you probably are one yeah if you've got three friends and two of them aren't moois you're the mooie hello hello just before we went live, my cat jumped onto the shed. Fingers crossed it was my cat because it really was. I've never been in the shed when that's happened before and it's very loud, very scrabbly. And I don't know if the cat is still up there or if it's not a cat.

Yeah. If you know what I mean. We know what you mean. You mean a... Baby zombie. Zombie with a baby, yeah. You never see a zombie jump, but a baby zombie. Yeah, right on right on you yeah like a face hugger but but a baby well with that new zombie baby smell well we've already got a movie warning in the chat people are speculating

that the creature on the roof is in fact a movie i think they're weirdly silent yeah i don't think they scrabble they're too dignified alistair, how's your April 1st going, April Fool Day? So what I did out of respect for the tradition of April Fool's is I looked up one of my favourite hoaxes from the past. I really like stories of entombed animals. Are you familiar with any of these, James? Do you mean like the pyramids? No no they are animals which are found inside rocks inexplicably i think like the the young earth creationists are quite excited because it means like uh oh there was this you know millions of year old rock but then inside it there was a twix right so it can't be that old a new twix yeah not a million year old twix not a million year old twix don't be absurd in the 18th century in a sandstone mine

in nibro sweden two quarry workers two miners were cracking great lumps off the sandstone and one rock cracked open to reveal a frog that was alive what apparently a living frog their supervisor came around his name was Groberg They called him over to investigate And he sort of poked it and prodded it And it seemed to be allowed But it seemed to be quite sluggish And this is where the story becomes quite unpleasant

According to an article in Scientific American He lost his patience And beat the creature to death with a shovel Which is very sad for the frog And is sad for science I think it's sad for that man That he got so upset with a shovel, which is very sad for the frog and is sad for science. I think it's sad for that man that he got so upset with a frog. It is sad for him. Later that day, according to the same article, Groberg regretted his action.

And this is an amazing quote. He regretted, I'm going to try and do a Swedish accent, being the slayer of that extraordinary animal, which might have lived for many hundreds of years within its stony prison. Also, the biggest problem I have with it is the idea that you could beat a frog to death with a shovel because if you hit a frog once with a shovel, you haven't got the corpse of a frog. You've got a stain, is what you've got. Where's it gone?

Oh, right. Yeah, you've got a horrible mess, but you haven't got... Apparently, he recovered the body and it was given to scholars who studied it. What was he trying to get the frog to do, though, that it wouldn't do, that made him so angry? Was he like, why won't you hop? A 4,000-year-old

frog? I just... I don't know. Explain yourself, frog. Various frogs like this have turned up, but only one of them is still extant. There is one frog in existence that was found inside a rock, and it is in the UK, in the Booth Museum of Natural History in Brighton, or to give it its more precise name, the Booth Museum of Natural History, and one really suspicious frog-based exhibit. There is a flint nodule containing within it a mummified frog cracked open by some quarry workers

in lewis lewis that is of course the town lewis not the isle of lewis or the tv show that you used to love yes the formerly non-alt-right tv show lewis lewis and the problem with that frog in a rock frog in a rock is that it was given to the museum by one Charles Dawson. Chuck D? Not that one. Different one. He's fairly well known because throughout his lifetime, he discovered, according to Dr. Miles Russell of Bournemouth University,

he was an amateur archaeologist who discovered 16 amazing finds. Wow. On a par with the frog including he found a 2000 year old Chinese bronze bowl in a medieval site in Dover explain that in a Roman ironworks he found a Roman statuette which appeared to be

made of cast iron, something that the Romans didn't have the technology to do most famously and I think you and the listeners will be familiar with this he discovered what he called Ioanthropus dorsoni, more famously known as Piltdown Man, the legendary missing link between ape-like creatures and, friend of the podcast, humans.

But anybody who's heard of Piltdown Man should be aware that Piltdown Man was a hoax. Was it a monkey sewed to a fish? Or am I thinking of something else? It wasn't quite as bad as that. It was a human skull and an orangutan, which literally means man of the forest. An orangutan, an orange man's mouth, deliberately created to look like the missing link and conveniently provide scientists with a colonial mindset

with evidence that humanity actually arose in Europe. Oh, right. That didn't happen. That's his vibe, right. That was the vibe at the time. So basically this guy is like Murder, She Wrote. It's like that Murder, She Wrote theory where Jessica Fletcher is the serial killer.

And so every time he would turn up weird and mysterious items would appear. Clanking as he walked with a big coat on. Isabelle de Groot did a fairly recent study that concluded that he's responsible for the greatest scientific crime ever committed in Britain in the form of the Piltdown Man. But what made him clever, and this is what you might appreciate as a connoisseur of hoaxes, is that it wasn't always him who found the stuff so he obviously wanted the praise

but often he'd be like oh, oh, James why don't you dig over there, what's that what's that over there by that rock oh, it's a Happy Meal the Romans didn't have the technology for Happy Meals that's incredible isn't it, the little wind up toy of the pig from the Lion King

yeah, they didn't have the technology for only four mcnuggets oh what a rotter that's one of my favorite hoaxes i don't know if i'd call him my favorite hoaxer because he did real damage to friend of the show science he sounds like a almost a prankster yeah you're right actually this is bordering on a prank. I've got a few hoaxes, practical jokes, you could say. Practical jokeses? Practical jokeses. There's always been something that's caught my eye. In Your Friend and Mine, Law of the Land,

Westwood and Simpson's Law of the Land. Lovely book. At the back, there's an index. That's where they always are. And what has always caught my eye is in the P section, there is an entry called Practical Jokes with a subcategory involving corpses and or gibbets. And a subcategory of that subcategory, warnings against.

I've got a picture of a gibbet. You asked me to find a picture of a gibbet. Yes, a gibbet. Just in case anyone doesn't know what a gibbet is, because some people don't know what a tray bake is. This is a gibbet. I'm very upset because Red Queen Liz is accusing my Swedish accent of sounding a little bit South African. So I'm going to demonstrate what my South African accent would sound like. And it's certainly different as I show you this picture of a gibbet, which is from a book called Death's Doings. Death's Doings?

That's how South African would say it? Death's Doings. This is the most lighthearted picture of a gibbet I could find as a very cheeky skeleton holds a cat and nine tails and a man who kind of looks like he's into it hangs from a gibbet. It's a fun picture. So yeah, after

hanging someone, they put them in a sort of a human-shaped cage and hang that up. Beginning of Willow. Val Kilmer at the beginning of Willow. He's been gibbeted at that point. And that used to be a real thing. And people used to go and look at them, these mouldering

bodies. Because they didn't have reality tv that's true in burpum in what what in burpum in sussex burpum in sussex in 1771 a highwayman named jack upperton was caught hanged in horsham and gibbeted in his hometown of burpum and apparently the following Sunday, the whole village came out to have a little look. Just look. It must have smelled as well. Like just an actual dead body.

Yeah. It's so odd. That seems so odd. What do you do once you've seen the dead body? What do you do? Just go home? It's meant to be the warning, isn't it? To say, like, don't follow in his footsteps

and become a highwayman because you'll end up famous. That'll be you, kid, in show business. And what could be worse? They didn't take it down or anything. It just slowly decayed over time. And the gibbet as well. So gibbets were sort of self-cleaning. Well, yeah, they just dropped down.

And apparently by the 1880s, the whole area was overgrown and you couldn't really see the actual gibbet anymore. It was just a stump. It was thought to be a haunted area that if you went to try and find it you'd get lost and turned around. Oh, how did it develop that reputation? I don't know. Well, it had simply been formerly the hanging place of a mouldering corpse.

Mmm, for ages. And in the 1880s a local was cutting wood for himself one March evening and... Cutting wood for himself, presumably not a euphemism of any kind. He was cutting his own wood, if you understand my meaning. Of an evening. And he heard a bunch of people approaching and he hid. Why? And he heard one of them say...

Sorry, why did he hide? Because he was cutting his own wood. Yes. Why else would he hide? And he heard an old man saying, Somewhere just near here is where the last highwayman was hung in chains. And it is said his ghost walks these paths at night. And our hero went,

And here he is too. And the group of people ran away. That is quite a good prank. That's a good prank. Yes. Although if his trousers were around his ankles, they might just have been reacting to... That's his excuse for why a group of elderly people

ran away from him when he was in the woods. You know, it was my witticism. I did a prank. I said a funny joke. Another one happened in Wally. What-y? Wally. Wally?

I'm going to have to ask. Where's Wally? In'm going to have to ask. Where's Wally? In Lancashire. Of course. Is that near Wizard Whitebeard Town? Yes. It's near Walleye on Walloo and all the things that... Almost exactly the same.

Blimey not. For American listeners, where's Waldo? For listeners in every other country, a different name. What's he called in France? I don't even want to think about it. Who are the gentlemen de la strapie top? I'm going to find it out now. Like you're going to be able to pick him out in France.

What's Wally called in France? Who are Charlie? Charlie. That's disgusting. I feel sick. This was a story that was told in the 1890s in the catchment area of Wally Workhouse. Oh, that's one of the good workhouses.

Yeah. Yeah, you want to buy in that area if you want to get into that workhouse. Yeah, let me just get my Lancashire. Get me my Lancashire in order. He's doing a Lancashire accent again. Aye. It were wally workers

and it was snowing hard a chap went to workers and he was asked to be put up for neat workhouse master said nay lad i've nowhere i can put thee i can't have this up with and we'll see about it but there's no way for thee but mortuary well he says nobody will hurt me there all right i'll give thee a couple of blankets and i can make the cell as comfortable as they can. So he laid down on the stone floor and he wrapped himself in blankets and they were very cold and very draughty. And he suddenly thought,

young chap in young coffin, he's not feeling cold and he don't feel draught. So I don't see why we shouldn't change places. However, I'll give you one blanket and I'll have t'other. So he laid down in coffin and fell fast asleep. we shouldn't change places. However, I'll give you one blanket and I'll have t'other. So he laid down in coffin and fell fast asleep. Next morning,

Workhouse Master came along and went to the bundle on floor wrapped up in blanket and says, Now lad, here's the porridge. No answer. And he says, Lad, porridge. Here's the porridge.

And the voice from coffin said, If he won't have it, I will. And they found Workhouse Master three days later, five miles off't Shavit, I will. And they found Workoutmaster three days later, five miles off Imp Barn. He'd also run away. I have to say, James, that accent was better than my Swedish accent and a delight to listen to.

Lots of compliments from the people in the chat. It was very much enjoyed. You've just got to imagine you've got two tongues and a loose larynx. However, I have no idea what happened in that story. I really look forward to listening back to it in the podcast to have any idea what you just said. Basically, a man was... The only bed was given to him was in the mortuary.

He thinks, oh, that coffin looks warm. Removes the corpse from the coffin, gives it a blanket for humorous reasons, gets in the coffin, goes to sleep. In the morning morning the workhouse master comes down with some porridge for him kindly like he's let him stay what turns out to be a an actual corpse fiddler and he's given him free range in his mortuary all night long and he goes to give the bundle on the floor who he assumes is the man the porridge and the bundle is a corpse doesn't do anything and then he's a voice from the coffin saying, I'll have the porridge then, mate.

Terrifying him because he thinks it is the skeleton. And he runs away. As you said the word corpse fiddler there, I had that horrible moment. You know the way in the 90s TV shows would have a certain word they were waiting to be said? And as soon as you said corpse fiddler, I just visualised those words flashing and like confetti falling and someone... I probably get gunged. Gotchered. Someone in the

chat wins a prize, yeah. If you had corpse fiddler on your card on your lawman play along at home card you have won. And there's various other stories of people when there were gibbets. A group of lads would be down the pub, they'd dare each other to take soup to the

body that had been gibbeted. Oh, lads, eh? Bloody lads. You know lads. Bloody lads. Lads. This is like the original WKD advert. I know what it's like.

When you're out in the lads, you've had a few soups, and things start to get a little bit crazy. Let's go and pretend to feed a corpse some soup. Yeah, some stew and a bouillon chaser. They go off, but one of them would know a shortcut to get to the jibbit first and would get there and hide. And the person would come up and would hold the soup up to the corpse and then the other, the japester, would go,

oh, blow on it, it's too hot, or something. Yeah, yeah. And the person in question would invariably went mad from shock. Yep, yep, that's how most good pranks end, with one person going mad from shock because of hearing the ghostly words, I don't like minestrone, or something like that. Oh, cream and mushroom, oh.

Is it cream and mushroom or cream of mushroom? It's a non-vegan one, so I never eat it. Cream-o-mushroom. Cream of mushroom. So how do you cream a mushroom? I don't know, ask that guy in the woods. With a spade, someone said. That's how you cream a mushroom, you cream a mushroom with a of mushroom. So how do you cream a mushroom? I don't know. Ask that guy in the woods. With a spade, someone said. That's how you cream a mushroom. You cream a mushroom with a spade.

Because it wouldn't give you the answers. Tell me. Tell me, you... The fungus, it's been 4,000 years. How did you get here, mushroom? I've been asking you for over two minutes. Smash. That mushroom could have lived for another couple of hundred years.

It's sort of a case of the goose that laid the golden egg, but more the probably an ordinary frog that still got smashed. Just a quick frog. Someone looked away and then looked back. Like a cynical person might say that a frog hopped on a rock and that that was what happened. But I don't think you should be using cream as a verb. As a noun, I'm happy.

As it moves into verb territory, I'm anxious. You cream a tomato as well. I wouldn't. The classic Heinz is a cream of tomato soup. You've never seen me cream a tomato and you never will. So I'm now getting down to the subcategory of warnings against practical jokes involving corpses and orgy bits. And also for us, I'm going to need to put a movie warning out there. You'll see why.

All right. Movie warning. Movie warning, everyone. If you're not prepared to engage with movie content, for your own sake, step back now. So this happened in Netherbury in Dorset. How have you managed to hit such a run of ridiculous names? Netherbury? Come on.

Netherbury. This happened in Bumfruit. How are you doing it? have you managed to hit such a run of ridiculous names netherberry come on netherberry this happened in bumfruits why how are you doing it and there was a rich man and he lived near a church and every night a local village girl would go to the um not the lobby what's it called we go to the lobby the lobby of a church what's the lobby you know the bit of the i don't i thought i think i've been in a church. Where you'd put the church's concierge. The foyer? The church foyer.

The reception. The reception, yeah. She would sing her songs. And this really annoyed the rich bloke who lived next door because it's just annoying having a girl. She, presumably, she wasn't very good at singing. I live between three churches and sundays are a nightmare that's just so he like i think you've praised him enough guys between the three he knows first of all he knows everything so

could we praise him with a less expensive sound system maybe do we need amplification considering he's everywhere at all times well this guy had a very similar vibe to you. This infuriated him. And maybe you could use this as a method to get them to stop. I'm going to. What he did was one night he wrapped himself in a sheet and went down to the graveyard to pretend to be a ghost to scare her off. And when she saw him, she said,

Oh, hello, Mr. White Ghost. And hello, Mr. black ghost behind you oh mr black ghost behind you is chasing mr white ghost and he ran home and apparently all his skin fell off what from shock he was literally scared out of his skin i mean that's a new drinking game wow so his skin fell off from shock. All of his skin fell off. Disgusting. Was he okay afterwards?

He didn't have any skin at all. Yeah, so did he live? Can you survive that? Because I don't think you can survive that. What, no skin at all? Yeah, because it's your biggest organ, isn't it, your skin? So you can't live without it, can you? No, I guess not.

Think of just the lint situation. Because he was already wrapped in a sheet. Oh, it would stick. Oh, it would stick something awful mucky so probably died then i agree basically don't pretend to be a ghost is another story to back that up from your friend and yours the palatinate county of durham yeah a small town or village i'm not sure which, called Tudhoe. Tudder. It's not pronounced Tudhoe. You have revealed yourself to be an outsider, James. It's pronounced Tudder.

Tudder. If you say Tudhoe in Tudder, then you're in trouble. You may as well say Prudhoe in Prudder. No way. Or Coxhoe in Coxer. Well, I wouldn't do that. Well, in Tudder, some farmers were having a dinner for the harvest and they ran out of booze. So they sent one of the sort of stable hands who was a little bit,

he wasn't one of their mates. He was just like, go on, you go and get it. You go and get the beer. The one you probably sent to get tartan paint or a long stand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Skyhooks. The work experience kid. But they actually did want that beer. Yeah.

And while he was out, one swore apparently swore a deep oath to scare him near near a place called nicky knack field and nicky knack field nicky knack field is where they grow the nicky knacks which is like the little porcelain shepherdess and stuff like that and those those sort of crystal animals that my aunt has to main export of the region is 90s crisps there's knickknacks opposite that there's what's its meadow space raider hill quaverfield and the frisp lagoon and of course the nerds and dweebs mine so one of them went out all right in a sheet to scare the person, pretended to be a ghost, and never came back.

The servant turned up at the farm, terrified, said he'd been walking back with the beer, and he saw coming towards him a white spirit looking all scary, and behind that white spirit, a black spirit. Wow, that's kind of arguably the same as the last story. But OK. Yeah, and he called out, Black spirit, get the white spirit, and ran away. And when they went out looking in Nicky Knack Field,

all they found were a few tatters of sheet, and I'm guessing dust. Some speculative dust. If need be, proof be, need be. Cromwell123 is asking, Do people misunderstand shadows? But it was night time you see. Yes. So you can't

have a shadow at night, can you? Actually you know what? Night's a kind of shadow. Yeah. This has got very sort of late night student house chat. But that's a warning to you. Don't pretend to be a corpse, a ghost. Nope. Don't mock the gibbeted. Don't pretend to be a corpse. A ghost. Don't mock the gibbeted. Don't mock the gibbeted. It's not fun.

Don't mock the gibbeted. James Shakespeare Lifehack. Don't mock the gibbeted. And also, Night's a Kind of Shadow. James Shakespeare observation. I think that could go on one of their motivational quotes. That's the thing with your comedy. The observations are there, but they are quite general sometimes. It's very

observational. Around this point in the proceedings, the lawmen known as Alistair had to pop out for a highly professional wee. Seamlessly edited out of this podcast version. James, those were cracking tails. I'm ready to score them. Okay, first up. What are your categories? Easy win.

Naming. Naming. Wally. Being April Fools, I want to check whether these places were real, because I feel like I wouldn't. I wouldn't do that. What was it called? Knob Butter? What was it called? The Palatinate County of Durham. Whiddle Hampton. Netherbury. Nicky Knackfield. Netherbury.

Nicky Knackfield. Burp Ham. Burp Ham? The worst flavour of ham? Brampton in Huntingdonshire. You're getting nothing for that, obviously. Wally. It's five out of five just for Nicky Knackfield. Nicky Knackfield?

Nicky Knackfield? Never heard such nonsense. Brilliant, then. Supernatural. Supernatural. Well, you were clever because there were two actual ghosts, weren't there? You were clever not to choose us because, like, if I'd been in your shoes, I would have just picked pure hoaxes like my frog in a rock.

Frog in a rock. And you cleverly squeezed two ghosts in. So I'm giving you a three out of five. Two for the ghosts and one for the cleverness. Oh, thank you very much. There you go. Ah, I'm supernaturally clever yeah well done all right number four gibbets three perhaps third category perhaps number i just very much the

example there of pride coming before a fall what's the next category the third one gibbets gibbets gibbets or gibbets oh it's a horrible idea isn't it just just leaving people but i mean i've i'll be honest i've let washing up sit for a while in my time and that's bad enough like an old bowl of cornflakes that you just leave imagine if that if there was a dead human in there a dead criminal the worst kind of human a dead a dead highwayman or woman a dead highway person would be the gender neutral version of that highwayman woman so how many gibbets were there you told me about four stories so was there a gibbet in every one of those stories there was a gibbet that crumbled to dust in burpum yep burpum i hardly know sorry it doesn't doesn't really work it was it was just

a mortuary and a coffin in wally okay maybe a half because that's somewhat charnel related there were two more people going mad from from being scared at a gibbet yes yes of course the classic soup prank yep yeah those were two different gibbet based stories that i found so i'm just three that's all the that's three and half of a little a little stump there so three i'm afraid it's gonna have to be three gibbets um i'd love to give you more let's imagine it was five and then over time the process of putrefaction has crumbled away withered it to a stinky rotten three and the addition of too much soups yeah has also sort of washed it away which

brings us to the final category soups and stews soups and stews soups and stews well in a sense you are making a sort of a horrible man soup with a gibbet aren't you you've got a little sort of strain in it yeah almost like when you've got fancy loose leaf teas and you have a little cage for them dipping them into the tea it It's like a little man's stock. Yeah. A little high woman's stew. There's that little sort of bundle of herbs in a muslin that you put in a stew.

It's got a French name. So I won't ask you to Google it. It's like a human bay leaf there. Yes, exactly. And of course, Beefle Geefle is pointing out that the mashed frog is not exactly a stew, but certainly in a pickle. If it was on your plate, it's more soup than it is steak. It's more of a dip, really, isn't it?

It's more in a sort of crisps and dip area than a soup per se. And there was some porridge. Is porridge sort of a breakfast or could you... Does porridge count as a soup? Is porridge a soup? It's kind of an oat soup. Yeah. I mean, I had porridge for breakfast this morning

because I'm half Scottish and it's mandatory. Is cereal a breakfast stew? Yeah. I think it's a five out of five. Yes. Soups and stews. An infusion of highway person. Well, what a disgusting but instructive episode this has been, James.

And what you can do is you can go back to recording and listen to the little message that I gave people while you were dans la toilette. What? Have you pranked me in some way? Oh, no. I did do an impression of Jeremy Beadle as you left. Right.

But then realised that not many people remember who that person is. Yep. Or will have ever known who that person is. All flesh is grass, isn't it, James? You can be the most important man of your times as Jeremy Beadlewald. And... I thought that was one of his catchphrases. All flesh is grass.

Yes, you've been framed. Beadle's about all flesh is grass. Where've been framed, Beatles are bow, all flesh is Christ. Where he would prank members of the public and remind them of their own

mortality. Yeah, he'd sort of hide behind gibbets. Ah, Jeremy. What if you

tried to prank his corpse? James, I have to be clear on behalf of the lawmen, we are not

advocating you pranking the corpse of Jeremy Beedle. That is not something we're asking listeners to do.

We've warned against it. We've warned against it. We have warned against it. We couldn't have been more clear. Let's just get the apology ready now. I'm so sorry about what happened while not accepting any legal responsibility for whatever hilarious prank happened to Jeremy Beadle's corpse. Yeah, I'm sorry if anyone was offended by the pranks that were committed.

I'm sorry if you felt like you were exhumed, Jeremy, and put on a bus with a I'm just napping sign. I'm sorry if that was how you felt. I'm sorry if you felt it was in bad taste to staple a beard and a policeman's outfit. We'd better go, because we're going to get in some serious trouble. You've been listening to Lawmen Sort of Live, brought to you by

me, Alistair Beckett-King. And me, James Sikshuft. And the word corpse fiddler. If you've been following our folklore or fake lore quiz, you can find the answer to that by watching the live stream that you have just listened to on twitch.tv forward slash lawmen pod. Or I was actually teeing you up there, James. Oh, that was pretty slick. I'll try that again.

Or you can join our Patreon and you'll get a special little bonus episode of Fake Law. Where do we keep our Patreon, Alistair? Patreon.com forward slash LawmenPod. And you see the way I said that right after you set me up for it? Did you notice that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just doing a sort of Scooby-Doo noise. said that right after you set me up for it did you notice that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah just doing a sort of scooby-doo for the end of the episode should we explain what the movies are

for people who may not remember the one episode where you explain what movies are a movie uh it was a shadow creature that haunted a friend of mine when he was a child and then when he told some of us about it when he was a teen the moois seemed to move on and start to haunt other members of the group so this is the danger of course of moois that speaking of moois can bring on a mooi incident incitement of mooi oh i do have a couple of other things to pick up from this episode, though. I await your apology for the teeing up of the endorse it. Yes, you clearly set me up for an endorse it joke.

You said, Netherberry, endorse it, and I was so distracted by that name that I didn't do the correct joke. By the buried nethers. Let's just, in a laid-back, off-the-cuff way, do that now. What, Netherberry, endorse it? Endorse it?

Oh, wait. No, I did it wrong. One person says endorse it, not both people. On paper, I know how that joke works. But it isn't. But you've lost that bit of paper. Yes.

Where have I lost that paper? Endorse it? Of course I would. I bloody love the place. Thank you. Oh, final bit of business. When you were talking about smashing frogs. Yes.

Is this some sort of meta thing to do with your xenophobia of the French? Was that part of the subtext or the meta text? No, I'm never intentionally anti-French. It just comes out. Anyway, smashing frogs. Seems like they would be. They just have a certain wayFrench. It just comes out. Anyway, Smashing Frogs seems like they would be... They just have a certain way about them. I don't know. A 70s documentary about the best French people.

Smashing Frogs. I was trying to add to that riff by thinking of an example of a really good French person. And that long silence was me trying to think of a French person that I liked or admired in any way.