Loremen Podcast - S3 Ep72: Loremen S3 Ep72 - The Miner and the Ghost

Episode Date: July 8, 2021

Alasdair Beckett-King and James Shakeshaft head for the haunted heights of Derbyshire’s High Peak. Somewhere between Light Peak and Dark Peak, betwixt spooky and spoopy, they uncover a tale of drunken revelry and unearthly terror. This episode also features parachute petticoats and an ode to The Pub that borders on (without actually being) poetry. P.S. Let’s make “Noon of Night” a thing. Loreboys nether say die! Support the Loremen here (and get stuff): patreon.com/loremenpod ko-fi.com/loremen @loremenpod www.twitch.tv/loremenpod www.instagram.com/loremenpod www.facebook.com/loremenpod @JamesShakeshaft | @MisterABK

Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from days of yore. I'm James Shakeshaft. And I'm Alistair Beckett-King. And Alistair, I took us way up high to the highest of all peaks. Well, no, to a place called High Peak. We did a live stream about this, right? Yeah, we did the live stream, and this is the edited version of that live stream.

Nice. Some of the jokes are from the chat, but that's fine. It's fine for the chat. It's not good for us as professional comedy merchants. Is that how you see us? Yeah. Well. So what's the story?

Oh, it's scary. It's the story of The Miner and the Ghost. Great question from Indy Fresco. When did your end and post your begin? When does your end and my begin i don't know anymore alistair that's like a barely literate pop song anyway when does my end and you begin i would say your ended when they put up the time memorial time memorial yeah since they

erected the time memorial um and then before that was Days of Yore. Yeah, okay, all right. That's good to know. That's good to know. Would you like to hear a story, Alistair? I'd absolutely love to hear a story. This story takes place in the Peak District, which is sort of north, isn't it?

It's kind of, it's Manchester adjacent. Very convenient. Very convenient for the city of Manchester. And one thing I learned, there is a white peak, and this tale, I believe, takes place on Dark Peak. Turns out my wife's half from Mordor. Wow. Yeah.

That does explain why when you go there, you have to carry her. This particular tale, I've got a little soups on tale, a little sort of amuse-bouche tale for you. I love it when you amuse the bouches before you start. This is from the same tiny village of Stoney Middleton. It's right next door to Eam of the Plague Village of Eam fame. Eam is familiar. Stoney Middleton sounds like Tony Middleton,

which sounds like a snooker player, probably. Tony Middleton. This story takes place just up the road from the Lover's Leap Garage, which is the site where, in 1762, Hannah Baddeley, whose beau, Billy Barnsley, I'm glad I've got a pop shield for this, had gone off her,

and so she threw herself off the highest point of this sort of cliffy bit there, 80 feet up. But her fall was broken by a thorn bush and her petticoat formed a kind of parachute. And she survived. Oh, wow. And she realised she'd quite gone off William Barnsley. Yeah, you would.

She lived for two more years. Ah. Was that considered a good innings at the time? Yeah, you would. She lived for two more years. Ah. Was that considered a good innings at the time? Yeah, it was the past. That was probably really, really well done. Did she die of Leap-related injuries? It doesn't say. Or was it completely coincidental?

I don't think she was unharmed from the Leap, if I'm perfectly honest. No. But I don't think that was a direct cause of death for her these stories by the way are coming from this wonderful book tales and traditions of the high peak by william wood william wood william wood of him he says there used to be an inn called the lover's leap kept by samuel mason and direct quote whose heart is in the right place oh and that's the end of his description of him.

I mean, these days I would assume he was a flaming racist, but in those days... His heart was in the right place, end of description. I don't know, what does that mean? Either very clinical, or, I mean, there's a lot more story. His heart is in the right place, as far as I know. There's a road with a little stream by the side of it and if you follow that west just to the bit where the lane goes off to eam you'll find the ball in pub well the ball in actually doesn't need pub on the end like ball

in apostrophe yeah that's where they were kicking it in the olden days. Yeah. Don't look for it. It's not there. The ball-in pub's no longer there. What happened to the ball-in pub? Jumped off the cliff as well? I don't know.

Just time and that. Time. 200 yards off to your right, there was a dilapidated cottage nestling underneath a ledge and amongst some trees, this old cottage, all the windows were smashed. Had been smashed by brats apparently. Brats!

Brats! Classic brat behaviour. There is breaking windows, there is putting a bucket of water on a door frame. On a door frame. So that when you come in, oh you, you brats! And there is kicking a ball over a fence into your garden. That's

the triumvirate of brat behaviour right there. And you know what? They've climbed over the fence. Yeah, they don't even come round and ring the door. Climb over the fence. You brats! Yeah. So if I say now, I'm talking about the time that this guy was writing,

which was 1862. So no one lives there now. Okay, that is an excellent get-out. When I say now, I mean 1862. In 1862, no one lives there now okay that that is a excellent get out when i say now i mean 1862 in 1862 no one lives there no one alive although i covered that because i don't think the dead live anywhere do they that's living no no one lives there apart from a ghost who doesn't live there yeah because they're a ghost they don't live yeah anyway oh there's a ghost. Boo. Oh, spoiler, a ghost. It's seen in the form of an old lady, and apparently it's seen crossing the Dell

at great speed to and fro across the Dell, which sounds, that's quite freakish. That's sort of like that. Yeah. You know, in horror films, when they do that thing where there's the sort of, yeah, things move too fast. Yeah.

I think that's why people are scared of spiders. Yes. Because they move faster than you can see. I don I think that's why people are scared of spiders. Yes. Because they move faster than you can see. I don't think you actually ever see a spider move. It looks like stop motion. Yeah. There's no motion blur on them, and there's no motion blur on you scary Japanese ladies

who come out of the tellies and stuff. Yes. That's why they look, as an animator, as a sometime animator, that's my considered opinion of why they look creepy, why spiders look creepy. Have you ever seen Nosferatu? The original? Sometime animator. That's my considered opinion of why they look creepy, why spiders look creepy. Have you ever seen Nosferatu?

The original? Yeah, F.W. Murnau's 1920-something. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. A classic horror film. They couldn't get the rights to Dracula, and so they said, well, what we'll do is change the name of Dracula and keep everything else the same. And it didn't work, and they got in huge trouble, and nearly every copy was destroyed

but luckily some copies survived and we have a classic early horror film to watch but one of the things they do to make him look creepy is they under crank all of the scenes where dracula is running about and doing things like loading his coffins onto a onto a truck so he can travel and so he just zips about doing it incredibly quickly. But the problem is we've got fast forward now and it isn't scary. It just looks like a fast forwarded man doing stuff. The sinister creepiness of Dracula is somewhat lost

when he moves at like speed. But back then... They were like, whoa, how can anyone go that fast? You believe a man can run. speed. But back then... They were like, whoa, how can anyone go that fast? You will believe a man can run. That was the catchphrase, wasn't it? Hello, Kieran is saying exactly. It's basically Benny Hill Dracula is what they did,

unwittingly, inventing both the horror movie and Benny Hill simultaneously. Yeah, both terrifying. Equally terrifying. So this is presumably the technique they've used to make that scary lady. Axolotl Peters just said a joke that I can't possibly pass up on my own because it's too good. Dracody Sax.

Oh, nice. Nice. Can't do it for copyright reasons. You've got perfect pitch. Yep. So exactly the same. So exactly the same as Dracody Sax. In reality, there's no such instrument as the saxophone.

It's just people doing it with their mouths. Little fact. That's a good fact. So the thing that makes this woman scary... Creepy old lady. Unlike spiders, you don't eat three of her in your lifetime whilst asleep. I thought it was every night. As far as we know.

I thought you ate three spiders a night. What? And with this figure. I don't believe that any scientist has ever researched whether you eat three spiders i think that is a made-up fact it's a good made-up fact oh yeah oh yeah as made-up facts go it's right at the top along with you lose 90 of your heat out of your head that's not true yeah uh conkers get also scare spiders conkers scare spiders. Conkers scare spiders. Do conkers scare spiders? Yeah.

If you go to someone's house and they've got conkers in the room, it's because they think that they're keeping spiders out. Wow. Oh. Is it like the way that cucumbers scare cats? Is that true? I don't want to encourage people who put videos of that on YouTube by watching too many of them. I was watering the garden using a hose,

and my cat was very fascinated with the hose, which was green and moving. Like a... A snake that was just throwing up. A projectile vomiting snake. Maybe the cat was concerned and was looking to administer CPR or basic first aid. I'm glad you've released him from his circular prison,

but he does not seem well. Oh, awful. So, yeah, this little flickering lady is flickering across the dell. When people used to live in the cottage, at night she would strip the bedclothes off the bed with people still in it. So kind of doing the old whoop trick. The magician's pulling on the tablecloth.

The old whoop, yeah. Leaving the candlestick exactly where it was. So she'd pull the sheet out from beneath you. Pull the sheets out, and I'm guessing the duvets, and you're still there in your bed, but now you're terrified. Did they have duvets in the 19th century? I thought they just had coarse woolen blankets, I think. She'd yoink your bedclothes off you as soon as terrify you.

Whoop. Wow. And it says in the recounting that she assumed various forms. Annoyingly, none of them are listed apart from old woman. And apparently she mostly would appear in the format of a middle-aged woman. Classic format. It's the standard format. I'll just have your basic middle-aged woman, please.

It's the standard middle-aged woman. We're going to future-proof it, so we're going to do this in middle-aged standard format. I'll just have your basic middle-aged woman, please. It's a standard middle-aged woman. We're going to future-proof it, so we're going to do this in middle-aged woman format. Yeah, a lot of people sniff at it, but actually, in terms of fidelity, you can't get better than standard middle-aged woman format. It actually lost out to VHS because they wouldn't put porn on it. Technically, it was a higher-quality format.

They still use it in the industry, mate. But I don't know why it sort of became australian um and with a lindsey petticoat i had to google that it's a type of petticoat that looks like it's made out of curtains really solid thick petticoat which is probably also what helped save old um hannah baddely parachute petticoats parachute petticoats yes as she was an unofficial nickname and a mobbed cap i did not know what the heck that meant so i googled it and i i think you're on your own and not knowing what a mob cap is really i think everybody you'd be like i would have known it was one of those little white hats that West Country serving maids wear in period dramas. And they say things like, Oh, the Lord, he's fallen off his horse.

Oh, the young master, he'll be so upset. Get the doctor. Get the doctor. Yeah, stuff like that. You know the character, but you just didn't know what the hat was called. So yeah, anyway, she's got one of them on and boots with very shiny buckles. Oh, the ghost's wearing shiny and boots with very shiny buckles. Oh.

Yeah. The ghost is wearing shiny buckles. Very shiny buckles. She would apparently glide through the keyhole and go in and out through other small holes in the wall, which... Oh. That's kind of... Like Eugene Tombs. Just...

I don't know if she would... Yeah, if she sort of syruped down and in and through. I don't know if she would, yeah, if she sort of syruped down and in and through, or if she just shrank down really little and then just walked her and then grew back up again. That's much less scary. No, if she, I'm imagining her

grotesquely distorting to fit through a small hole. Yes, but really quickly as well, really quick, too quick. She's got some real cinematic moves on her, this lady. Yeah. And around there, her existence was fact like no one doubted that she existed everyone was terrified to go past there and there was there was no debate as to whether it was there and so 60 years before this book was written and this book was written in 1862 so we're talking around 1802 maths fans the landlord

of the of the ball in we ball in steven and he's done that thing again where he's just missed out the name steven dash w he's just said a letter and then done a dash playing a hangman maybe that was it was they did they like hang playing hangman in the old days? Yeah, they loved it. Combination of spelling and murder. Yeah, so Stephen S, ends in W, was the landlord with his wife, Blandy. Of course, short for Blandino. What? How is that not the name of one of your relative's gangster mates from East London?

I don't know. Her name was Blandino. Blandino? She's been named by an absolute lad. What, did she do card tricks? What did she do? She was a bantzmonger, I'm guessing. Oh, it's Blandino.

No, she was French. Fair enough. And apparently it's a French name, and it means, like like really nice and beautiful. Oh. Blandino. Blandino. Blandino.

Who knew? But yeah, so a local in that pub, old Tom Loxley. Ah, what? That's his real name. Do you want to know his nickname? What's his nickname? Cock-eye. Oh, the sailor man?

Yeah, cock-eye. He was a topper. Interesting. Which meant he liked to drink.ed. He was a topper. Interesting. Which meant he liked to drink. Ah. He was a miner. He shouldn't have been drinking then. He was in there.

James, you missed my miner joke. I'd like to wheel back and do my miner joke again. Whoa, I'm sorry. He was a miner. Shouldn't have been drinking then. Nice. Continue with the podcast now that you've acknowledged my joke. You're welcome.

One November night, he was seated with his brother toppers round the cup and glass covered table at the ball in they were having a good old time they were having a laugh and a fun time blandy was there blandy was noted at being very good keeping the conversation everyone was having a great time they were laughing apparently there were there were roars of laughter that made the pewter dishes tingle on the shelves i really like this guy's turn of phrase thus hours flew on angels wings until the sable face clock had announced the noon of night that's nice james you can't build up a reputation for hating poetry and then start

whipping out purple prose like that and saying you like it. It's... Come on. It's talking about a pub. Oh, of course. Yeah, and you're quite... That's just very accurate.

That is a lovely passage. The noon of night. I like that. Is that midnight? Midnight it means. It means midnight, the noon of night. Midnight, all right, yeah. The noon of night.

Nobody calls it that. Stop trying to make noon of night happen. I'm going to make noon of night a thing. Nope. I'm going to do it to do it If you're out with me Around 11.30 It's all I'm going to be Rubbing your hands together

Also I'm going to be Really really tired Yeah you've got two kids You're not allowed out At that time now I'll be knackered I will be knackered I'll be looking for a bed

If they wanted to Appeal to Parents with young children, they should have a pub bed. Pub bed? A pub bed. So you can just go in and have a quick nap. Yeah, so they've got the bar and then the lounge area,

the saloon area, and then the nook sometimes. And then a little pub bed, which would be disgusting. It would be horrible. Yeah, if you think how bad a sofa gets. Yeah. Have you seen what the toilets look like and then just a bed you're just gonna crawl into that bed it was the noon of night that's where we got to cockey knew that he had to walk home past the cottage the haunted cottage and he's getting a little bit worried and his mates were trying to rally him up and kind of

winding him up a little bit that he was going to get scared by the ghost yeah and blandy said cheer cheer up cheer up cockay not afraid a woman nor her spirit certain that was a french accent that was beautiful beautiful and he says nor the d hyphen l neither with another court a lads you reckon daniel in there who was he afraid of nor the daniel not afraid of daniel i think we can say devil on the podcast he's fine to say cockey anyway and then the host is like yeah come on come on we shouldn't be talking about it's a bit you know we don't want to be winding up a ghost also that's his neighbor if they can get in through those little tiny gaps they can probably hear it people in his pub slugging him off and then uh mrs blandy blandino says tis sad my share that a woman whose spirit still wonders the deal came to an untimely end

and i think the point she's trying to make there is, wonder what happened to her to make her this ghost. Oh, you're weaving in a little bit of mystery into the story. No one really knows why she's a ghost or who she is, because she's taken many forms. She doesn't like a maid bed. We know that much. Or she is a up-and-coming magician that just needs to practice. Nothing is more terrifying than a magician who needs to practice.

That is a frightening prospect. So Blandy's basically saying, I wonder why she haunts this area so terrifyingly. Great question. And Cock-Eye says... Good question, Blandy. Another drop more, good landlady. And I'll ask her that question this night, said Cock-Eye,

now almost incapable of sitting in his chair. He's so drunk he can't sit. Can I just say now, can I just put on the record that I think this guy's testimony is unquestionable from this point onwards. This guy's account of whatever happens, and I don't know what it's going to be, but I think it is going to be God's truth. Everyone goes off to go home. It's near three o'clock in the

morning aka the witching hour well past night's noon it's sort of night's afternoon now which doesn't night's afternoon that's not sound as spooky yeah the moon shed her silver beams on the grim rocks that rose around like towering battlements that's a bit fancy so he's making his way across and as he's staggering on, apparently at every successive step, he became more and more subject to peculiar and impressive sensations. Fear, deep and undefined, began to creep around his heart as he glanced frequently around him.

Forward, however, he bent his way, but as he approached the cottage, the haunt of the ghost, pun, he beheld in the centre of the shadow of the cottage a figure, a human form, a kind of shadow person, and a cold sweat overspread his brow, and his heart rattled in his bosom. Sorry, did you make yourself laugh rattled in his bosom sorry did you make yourself laugh by saying the word bosom that sounded an awful lot like you went and his heart

rattled in his bosom it was very much uh reading around the class in english at school situation there everyone's throwing paper airplanes oh bosom bosom um it was the next because i looked onto the next line and it's what he had an attempt to cry this word almost choked him and the word is spelt h-o-l-l-o so he attempted to cry hello Hello. And in his imagination, the glance of the ghost met his eye and he just did what you would do in this situation, fell straight down on the ground, face down. Yep. But the shadow-like woman seized him by the ankles

and dragged him at racehorse speed backwards down the dell. On and on they went, quick as thought, and the sensation he felt in this most horrible predicament was the deadly coldness that preceded him from the hands of the ghost. A chilliness crept from his feet to his body and froze his very heart within him. And after suffering this sensation for some time, the scene closed on his recollection. suffering this sensation for some time. The scene closed on his recollection. And then the dawn the next morning,

the landlord of the ball inn goes to have a little look around, you know, just a little walk around in the morning if you want to go. Yeah, why not? It's lovely. And he goes, he sees the little stream running along the side of the dell. On the edge of that stream is cockeyed and his feet are in the stream. He's probably weed himself then. I don't know if it's feet because it's meant to be hands in water

causes you to wee yourself. If you wee yourself with hands in water, think what feet will do. Oh gosh, that was the selling point for foot baths. Foot spas. If you wee yourself when you put your hands in water just think what a foot spa will do. Don't fall asleep.

He'd fallen dead drunk, and in tossing around, his legs had become immersed in the stream, and he had the impression of the icy hands of the ghost. It was it. He'd fallen in the stream, and he dreamt it was a ghost. Or did he? Don't toy with my emotions, James. You'd often relate his adventure,

and he became, from that time time a sober and worthy man. He literally did the classic 1940s movie thing of seeing something weird, looking at a bottle and flinging it over his shoulder and saying,

not another drop. Never again. Wow. Mmm. Ah. So that's the story of the miner and the ghost.

Good old cockey. Good old cockey. Good old, blandino. And of coursekey. Good old cockey. Good old... Blandino! And of course, not forgetting... Blandino! What a name. That's a cracking tale.

Chilling though, right? I'll tell you what. I think the creepy old lady who moves in fast motion and sucks through door holes, sucks herself through keyholes. I'm going to try and phrase that a third way. Zips through keyholes i'm gonna try and phrase that a third way zips through keyholes is i think one of the scarier spirits we've encountered on the podcast let's kick it off with a bang then are you ready to score me yes i am let's do it supernatural it's flipping

high she whips the bedclothes off when you're sleeping in that very cot what what i actually rhymed there that's how freaked out i was you turned me into a poet james she's an x-files monster she's horrible she doesn't have any motion blur as we've established which makes her look unheimlich yeah it's just slightly wrong she's ray harryhausening her way across the Dell. Yeah, the summit off. She's a Mui. She's a Mui. She's basically a Mui. Mui warning. She'd be Mui.

Spoiler alert, Mui warning. She's a Mui. She's a shadow creature. Because the other thing that happened to my mate, when he experienced the Muis, he would often just wake up in a random place. He would wake up in a random bathroom. Yeah.

In fact, there's a water connection there. Mm-hmm. Yeah, were his feet over in the bath? I don't know about that bit. He probably wouldn't have told you, considering he would have weed himself. Okay, so, Supernatural, what are we talking? We're talking a creepy five out of five. It just has to be.

I know in lockdown I'm getting lax with the scores and I'm handing out fives like nobody's business, but this is a creepy five creeping at you across a moor. Mm-hmm. Mm. Yeah, you look into a room. Yeah. Because you thought you heard a five in there.

Yeah. And you look, there's no five in there. And then you step into that room and the door starts to swing shut and behind the door there's a blooming five. Yeah, you open the medicine cabinet, having not seen a five, and then when you close it, four! Dunk! There's a five! There's a five right there. It's five!

It's five out of five. That is a five. Next category. Category the second, naming. There have been some cracking names. Obviously, blood nail, blood nail. Yes. It's a name you can say without any consonants. Kick off with a B, and then you just sort of oscillate your way to the end.

You just need a B in confidence, and you can say that name. We've got the devil, or rather the D-O. Could be Daniel. We've got Daniel. Probably the devil, though. Don't invoke his name. We've got old Tom Loxley. A.K.A. Cock-Eye.

We've got Keyhole Granny. Yes. William Wood. Williamley. A.K.A. Cock-Eye. We've got Keyhole Granny. Yes. William Wood. William Wood. The Ballin'. Those guys, they were ballin'. Yeah. The Noon of Night. The Noon of Night. Yeah, the little side story, the Lover's Leap Garage. The Lover's Leap Garage.

I think I'm knocking points off for the Lover's Leap Garage. That's what it's called to this day, the Lover's Leap Garage. By the what it's called to this day, the Lover's Leap Garage. By the way, Dog has just handed me a note. And it makes the valid observation that I should be deducting points for redacted names. And there were a few of those,

James. So it can't be a full five. I think we're going to go for a four though, because Cock Eye is a hilarious nickname. I hope you're happy with that. By the way, Dog, that really hurts. Well, the chat is not happy with that decision. That has gone down very poorly. But luckily, by the way, dog,

it's taken quite a lot of the heat from me. By the way, dog, you've really upset me. I think it's a valid point. I think it's a valid point. I've always been more of a cat person, by the way, dog. Several people are scoring it themselves as five out of five. That's not how it works. You have no authority. No, I'll themselves as five out of five. That's not how it works. You have no authority. No, I'll take

the four out of five. Okay, it's a four out of five. I don't care what everyone says. I deserve it. I hope it makes me very happy. Yes, what a sad little life, James. Next category. Petticoat Parachute. Petticoat Parachute. Petticoat Parachute.

Petticoat Parachute. Petticoat Parachuteetticoat parachute. Petticoat parachute. Petticoat parachute came to town, falling off a cliff. It's got a bit of a musical vibe about it, doesn't it? It's one of those things that a spurned lady flinging herself off a cliff. Tragic in the moment, but about half an hour later, already a hilarious slash romantic tale. Yes. It very quickly enters legend legend she's saved by a

thorn bush in a petticoat which sounds very uncomfortable frankly if she was floating down and then the petticoat thumps out yeah then she just starts to drift alice in wonderland style yeah she has time to see the thorn bush coming and be like look to camera in a wily coyote Coyote style-y and be like... And then the parachute function is going to be pierced by the thorns. Yeah. So she's going to just be picking up speed. Well, no wonder she didn't make it more than a couple of years after that.

There's also the petticoat on the ghost, the ghostly petticoat. Okay, the ghostly petticoat. She's zipping around using that petticoat. So you think she might be sort of creating a billow effect to... Like a squid. Moving like a squid. Using the petticoat. She's zipping around using that petticoat. So you think she might be sort of creating a billow effect to... Like a squid. Moving like a squid. Using the petticoat. I'll tell you what, I'm doing an excellent mime of that.

Wow. That's a very good squid. Sorry, I got distracted by how good I was at mime for a second there. It happens. No, that will definitely go in the podcast. I aim to transition the podcast into a fully shadow puppetry-based podcast by the end of the year. So it's a podcast that consists of people going,

is that a real squid? No, we've come to see shadow puppetry. Yeah, it takes Plato's Cave and moves it one step forward so that there's a second cave where people are just hearing vague descriptions of the reactions of the people who are watching the shadows on the wall. It's very profound. It's more, it's like a Plato's Cave reaction

vid. Plato's Cave reaction vid, Schrodinger's cat unboxing. Let's just do them all. All the classic thought experiments. Let's do it. Don't forget to ring that like bell, unless you're one of Pavlov's dogs.

So, a harsh scoremaster at this point would say, well, we've got two petty codes. A petty scoremaster? I think that would be petty, so I'm going to make it a three. Okay. That's my offer to you. Okay, three. Okay, three.

And now the final category. Final category. Okay, I'm psyching myself up for it. The category of pub. This is a very very pub story it's pubby isn't it like it's very possible that what happened was a man became extremely drunk yes it's possible that's the entire story yeah a man got so drunk that he couldn't sit on his chair and then he fell in a stream. Yes. Like a sceptic might say, that's what happened.

But yeah, an accurate person would say, that is what happened. You and I know the ghost dragged him into that stream. Because he'd been... I've got to go out there and report this to the authorities. All the evidence we have says old man in a stream. Old cockeyed, not the most reliable of characters in the first place. And we've got two pubs as well. You've got The Ball Inn.

And the Lover's Leap Inn. And the Lover's Leap Inn. The Power of Pub. We've got The Pot Follers, The Pot Fellows, His Brother Toppers, Hours Flying By on Angels' Wings, A Cup and Glass Covered Table.

And then you've got the classic pub thing of like, they're having a pub challenge i'll go i'll go and have a word with that ghost and find out yes why she haunts this dell he didn't you just see if i don't and he blooming had a go at doing it but sadly fell in the street classic pub confidence classic dutch courage there it's five out of five yes five out of five for pub because if there were no pub, none of this would ever have happened. And I also spent ages looking up to see if I could find out the actual

landlord. Oh, you should find out his real name. Couldn't find it. All the records start around 1811. That's when yore ended. Oh, that must be when it is.

Yeah. That's when the modern era began and yore ended. Oh, it turns out. I like that we've answered that question. Yeah. And listen to the genuine note of surprise in our voice that that is tied up nicely.

Yeah, that's really... What's going on there? Genuinely tied up nicely. Yeah, that's... That never normally happens. That's not... Should I laugh at bosom again? If you enjoyed listening to that as a podcast, you could just decide to give us money.

Yes. That's the system we have. Yeah. You don't need it. Yeah. I mean, what are you doing with it? We see you in the street, riding in your carriages. Jingling your money bags. cockney funerals so if you want to give us a

little bit of your money go to patreon.com forward slash lawmen pod or if you just want to do it once then go to ko-fi.com forward slash lawmen no pod no. No pod on that one. No pod needed. And you can either buy us coffee or you could buy yourself a t-shirt. What we've basically done is we've become confused when seeing a pearly king there. I realise now what's happened. I can't tell the difference between overdressed cockneys and rich people oh i'm just doing some little tests at the moment but there's actually something quite exciting coming up soon t-shirt wise i mean bearing in mind that most of our listeners have all old pearls and buttons and badges and bells are they pearly kings and queens as well oh yeah yeah i'm confused again i'm confused you might need a T-shirt to go underneath your pearly waistcoat.

Just maybe, I guess that helps with minimising chaffage. Oh, the chaffage. Oh, imagine the between the thighs on a pearly king. Ouch! Isn't that the title of your autobiography, James? Between the Thighs of a Pearly King. Yes, brackets, ouch!