Loremen Podcast - S4 Ep12: Loremen S4 Ep12 - The Ghosts of Spokane

Episode Date: September 8, 2022

Having come into the possession of certain manuscripts on North American lore, James Shakeshaft whisks you off to Spokane in Washington State. Supposedly the healthiest city in the world, Spokane has so many serial killers they need their own subcategories. This episode welcomes Alasdair back from Edinburgh for a whistle-stop tour of a city that will tickle your funny bones while simultaneously tingling your spine. Meet a candy poisoner, a faith healer, the oldest ghost EVER and the Loreboy's annoying alien sidekick Spokey-doke. (His catchphrase is "Spokey-dokey!" and we hate him.) The Loreboys are BACK! Loreboys nether say die! Check the sweet, sweet merch here... https://www.teepublic.com/stores/loremen-podcast?ref_id=24631 Support the Loremen here (and get stuff): patreon.com/loremenpod ko-fi.com/loremen @loremenpod www.twitch.tv/loremenpod www.instagram.com/loremenpod www.facebook.com/loremenpod

Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from days of yore. I'm James Shakeshaft. And I am returning co-host Alistair Beckett-King. The conquering hero. I don't know about conquering. The surviving hero. Yeah, that's like a zombie film. Yeah. That counts as winning.

Just getting to the end is enough. Well, welcome back, Alistair. Thank you. And, I mean, let's just get into it. Let's just get right into it. I've got an American story from America. Ugh. I mean, great.

Go ahead. Yeah, all right then. Just remembered how many listeners we have in America. Yes, most of them. Go for it, buddy. Okay,. Yeah, all right then. Just remembered how many listeners we have in America. Yes, most of them. Go for it, buddy. Okay, pal. Have a nice day. Alistair.

James Shakespeare. How have I not noticed that your name exactly fits the rhythm of Goldfinger for all this time I don't know how have I not noticed and also you're a man

I know just like Goldfinger I can't remember any more of the lyrics apart from pretty girl is that one of the lyrics yeah there's a bit

where it goes what is it he's got he's got a cold finger. Such a cold finger. How are your fingers? Do you have a circulatory issue? No, they're pretty warm. They're all of the same temperature.

There isn't one that's noticeably colder. I'll put that in the different to gold finger column. Do you beckon people into your web of sin? Yeah, but there's a little sign that says, don't go in. I think that's where the pretty girl comes in, isn't it? It's pretty girl. Be aware

of his web of sin. It's really just health and safety, that song. Anyway, right. So, Alistair, we're back. You're back from Edinburgh. I am. We're back in business. I've got a real smorgasbord of things to sink our teeth into this week.

That sounds delicious. Well, it would sound delicious if smorgasbords was a nice word. Yeah. That is the thing that it's served on, right? I guess so. I guess the board is a table and it is a smorgasbord. So probably don't sink your teeth into the table. Nah, guess the board is a table and it is a smorgasbord. So probably don't sink your teeth into the table.

Nah, not the board itself. But do sink your mind into these stories. Well, basically, Alistair, we got sent those books by Kindly Listener from Spokane. No, I've got it wrong already. We're going to be talking about the East Washington city of Spokane. Spokane. That's how it's pronounced. Oh, it's not Spokane after all. No, the E is misleading.

So that's how the word is spoken. Oh, that's a good way of remembering it. Yeah. That's a very good mnemonic. It's another Bond villain now, isn't it? Isn't that what M was short for? Well, I called up friend of the show, the only person I know from Washington State,

Forrest Burgess. Forrest Burgess. From the old Astonishing Legends podcast. Yes, friend of the podcast. And he taught me exactly how to say it, and I'm going to drop in him correcting me on how to say it whenever I get it wrong. Okay.

So listen out for that. It's pronounced Spokane. Spokane. Spokane. Spokane. Spokane. It's spoke like a bike. It's spoke like a bike, and then there's a can in that.

Spoke. Ooh, creating a sort of a rattling sound as you go. Like a clickety-clacker. A clickety-clacker, yeah, like a... Like a clickety-clacker. Like a clickety-clacker. Like a clickety-clacker. Like a clickety-clacker.

Or as they were known in the South, Spokie-Dokie. Ugh, what? Spokie-Dokies. Spokie-Dokie? You didn't know Spokie-Dokie? Spokie Dokies. Spokie Doki? You didn't know Spokie Doki? That's a disgusting word. It sounds like an alien from a 1980s kids show. Spokie Doki.

Quite an upbeat one, though. Oh, yeah. He's so alien. And his catchphrase is Spokie Doki. Spokie Doki. I hate that guy. I hate Spokie Doki. Spokie Doki. I hate that guy. I hate Spokie Doki. I think he was misunderstood,

but he was the schnaff of whatever this cartoon is that we've made up. Spokie Doki. Right. So we're talking about Spokane, a city in eastern Washington state on the Spokane River, and there are human remains dating back 8,000 to 13,000 years ago. Wow. Showing that people have been there that long.

Yeah. Quite a big margin of error there, to be fair. 8,000 to 13,000. To be clear, is that 8,000 to 13,000, or is that 8,000 to 13,000? Because that is too big a margin. That is too big. 8,000 to 13,000. Because that is too big a margin. That is too big. 8 to 13,000. How many people were at your birthday party?

Between 8 and 13,000. So nine. Is two. No, between 8,000 and 13,000 years ago, people have been going there. I see. Or rather, people have been dying there. People have been dying there.

And leaving and having their bones left there. The Spokane River. People are dying to get in. That's just a little out of it for Spokane. And it's named after the Spokane tribe of Native Americans. Spokane means children of the sun or sun people. Great. That's a pretty cool name.

And then we smash cut to European explorers setting up a trading post in 1810. And yeah. Nice monster lads trying their best. What could go wrong? Yeah. After the 1858 Yakima War, the area was, I quote, open to safe habitation by settlers. Oh, that's an interesting phrase.

Just a balanced description of what happened there. Yeah. Doing a lot of heavy lifting, especially considering one of the chapters in this book refers to a place called Horse Slaughter Valley. Wow. All the horrible things you can imagine happened, unfortunately. So it became settled by Europeans,

and it slowly grew until 1889. There was a big fire. It destroyed the entire downtown commercial district. And the main issue was that there was no pressure in the pump. The firefighters couldn't pump any water around because there was no pressure. Human skill in the pipe. No.

No. No. They gave up on the pump. Did they check specifically for that? They did not, actually. Well, I bet it was a human skill in the pipe do you know what they did to try and contain the fire through mud wet mud at it that i think is a better idea they just started blowing up buildings what oh so they thought if we burn all

the like if you would with a forest fire if we burn a ring of the buildings around the building that's on fire we'll contain the Yes, but we've got dynamite. But with dynamite. And this will be more fun. So did that work? They, in essence, fought fire with explosions. And I think if we've learned anything from dynamite, it's no way to build a house.

No, no, no, no. It's no way to explode a fire away. Very rarely does dynamite calm a situation down. Yeah. And fortunately, only one person died, according to records. Well, okay. I mean, it's quite unfortunate for that person, but fair enough. Yes, but considering a whole centre of town burnt down

and the firefighters started blowing stuff up, basically joined in. Yes yes that's pretty impressive yeah um so then the whole place had to be rebuilt and that was a project financed by some dutch bankers who i'm guessing were high on tulip bulb money even though that was over 200 years previously fun fact about about Spokane. In 1910, it became the birthplace of Father's Day. Oh. Yeah.

So how did that come about? A woman called Sonora Smart Dodd, the story goes that she came up with the idea whilst listening to a church sermon about Mother's Day. She kind of International Wednesday'd it. Yeah. She was like, what about the men? And then she came up with it and then it happened.

Well done, Sonora Smart Dodd. You have kept the business of cards featuring fishermen on it going. And sometimes just a tackle box, which is suggestive of fishing. I suppose indirectly led to the creation of the man cave. The whole edifice now must be destroyed. It's gone too far. So if we were travelling back in time to prevent the man cave from coming into existence, we'd have to kill this Dodds woman.

Well, that's a bit extreme. At the very least, we could change the nature of the sermon on that day. Best to kill her just to be safe, James. Come on. You think whatever the vicar talked about on that fateful day would have inspired her? Yeah. So the vicar might have talked about

giving arms to the poor, and then she would have said, what about giving legs to the poor? And then you've got loads of beggars walking around on giant hydraulic legs, kicking over the remaining buildings. Nightmare. Whatever outcome.

Have you read a single sci-fi story, James? Whatever happens is going to be worse. So just kill her. Safe. There's no way she's one of our ancestors. The vicar does a story about butterflies. It all gets out of hand. She invents tsunamis.

Around this time, the late, what I'm going to term the late 1900 noughties. Ooh, bit cheeky. Because I can't think of a better way to say it. The Union of Industrial Workers of the World, the IWW, or Wobblies, was founded. They didn't go with EW.

No. That's weird. They went with Wobblies. Wobblies. They started doing free speech fights to highlight the unethical job sharks. That's a great name. It's a cool name. It's a cool name.

It's very hard to give your enemy such a cool name, Job Shark. They were like the agencies that would get people in to do sort of, you know, big bits of manual labour. Oh, I thought it was another Bond villain, Job Shark. And they bribed the foreman to, like, get rid of entire crews so that they would get the commission of hiring in a new crew and all this sort of stuff. It's a good thing there are no exploitative labour practices these days. Yeah, well done, Wobblies. You sorted it right out. There was a big stunt in September 1908 in which the feminist labour leader, Elizabeth Gurley Flynn... That is a very patronising name for a feminist. Yeah, it's an unfortunate name.

She's pretty badass if you look her up. James, it's not important how pretty she is. Get on with the story. It's not important how badass she is. Please, stop talking about anything. Stop talking. End of the podcast. Is it possible to do a podcast without

talking? Just try it. Hey, anyone who's really annoyed that I've talked about feminism, don't worry. Spokane at this time had his very own Bluebeard, Charles Bluebeard Gillum. He was a Canadian from Ontario. You feel like the name would have warned some people. Well, he's got a lot of AKAs.

So Charles Gillum, James P. Watson, Richard Hurt, name would have warned some people well he's got a lot of akas so charles gillam james p watson richard hurt walter andrew watson harry m lewis so we don't know what happened to his first wife probably murdered them right walter andrew watson wow that's how i would pronounce his his initials that is your real name it's not it's not his not his real name. His second wife, Marie Austin, he took to Spokane. I'm getting it wrong again. Spokane. Sorry, Forrest. He took to Spokane.

Spokane. On honeymoon, took her out for a romantic moonlit rowboat ride, murdered her and dumped her body in the lake. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. No, come on. And his next wife, Agnes Wilson, he took to Spoken also on honeymoon.

And he took her to the falls on Havermail Island, pushed her off. Disgraceful. Terrible. At least seven women from Spoken he married and presumably murdered. The facts of this case are very grim his 19th wife 19 yeah thought he was unfaithful so she hired a private detective who when he was out broke into

this like he had a special case that he wouldn't let anyone look in and it was full of like rings and marriage deeds and he so he got arrested for bigamy but then he kind of confessed to the murder of his wife number 18 and managed to evade hanging by confessing and telling them where the body was. He did a rotten deal that he would get life but he wouldn't be convicted for anything else. And then once he was in San Quentin, he confessed to like 28 murders. Ridiculous. I just, like, how can you have that so many subterfuges going?

I'm really bad at lying. To, like, be able to lie to the tune of getting married 19 times. Yeah. It seems like a lot of admin. How many vicars are there in Spokane? Yeah. Because I feel like at least some of them should have been suspicious. Yeah.

What's your again? When he's filled out his loyalty card in a year. because I feel like at least some of them should have been suspicious. Yeah. Let's hear it again. When he's filled out his loyalty card in a year. Yeah, I'm getting all this stuff from these lovely books that were supplied to us, and I was reading one of them on the train. It's got a good introduction. It really sets the scene. You know, it says, like, Washington has an extraordinarily high number of serial killers.

And when you're underlining that sentence on a crowded commuter train, you've just got to be really careful who's looking over your shoulder. There's so many that the book is broken down into, poisonous serial killers and serial killing axe murderers. I think you've got a problem if you need to break down the nature of your serial killer. Yeah, I look, I don't want to go out on a limb here, but I can't stand serial killers. Big talk.

Big talk. I know this is cannibals all over again, but I really hate serial killers. Sorry, that is a further subdivision of the serial killer chapter. No, I hate serial killers because I love murder mysteries and serial killers ruin murder mysteries they do don't they murder mysteries are all about who did it and why

and serial killers kill 19 people and why do they do it because I'm a horrible person who loves to kill so that's not a motive you're just a maniac how can you have a story about that motives are things like oh the deeds to

the castle were locked in the the ionic temple that's a motive you know and it killed him and that's a motive you can't just be ah i really like chopping people up that's not a motive you're so boring that doesn't bode well for this next section of the podcast well then what do you think about just to to add just to get in before you say that uh female poisoners who who murder multiple husbands much more sympathy much more sympathy for female poisoners stuck with terrible husbands before divorce was an option you're the reverse sonora smart dodd there this is not that sort of poisoner. This is... Yeah, there's no extenuating circumstances as far as I can see for this one.

Okay, picture the scene. It's 1924. It's a bad part of town. And then it's night time as well. Okay, alright. I'm really getting some ambience here. It's quiet and the noise... No, the silence.

The silence, you never guess what what's it's about to be shattered is it bang oh what's happened a gunshot rings out i'm clutching at my hat that i would be wearing because it's 1920 something four it's the night of april the 17th no less and john craven the tv presenter not that one uk listeners from blue peter Not John Craven from John Craven's Newsround. Oh, from Newsround, yes. Newsround's John Craven. Or latterly Countryfile. I don't think we would name a show Countryfile now.

For SEO reasoning? I think the suffix file has had its day. Countrygate? That works because they have gates. Yeah, exactly. They love them. Or Countrystyle, because they also have styles. But then you know that the review is going to be like style over substance.

You're going to have a snooty review. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just leaving yourself wide open. Yep. No, John Craven has been shot by his 15-year-old son. Where does it say his name? Where does it say his name? Where does it say his name? Where does it say his name?

Hold on. Sorry for the background noise. Right, to my council. Ringo. I thought it was Louis. Philip John. I now no longer can see his name anywhere. It was Louis or Louis.

I don't know. L-O-U-I-S. Americans tend to say Louis, don't they? When there's an S at the end. Louis. Yeah, his 15-year-old son just shot him because he was a poisoner. Wow. And the 15-year-old son had had it up to here with him poisoning people.

Dude, I'm sick of you poisoning people. Cutting the throats of cows. God, you're so embarrassing. And poisoning a hundred dogs. He poisoned a hundred dogs? At least. What could the dogs possibly have done to warrant that? And the reason that Louis gave for shooting his dad, he really liked one of them dogs.

So that's why he did it. That's a sad story. I think the kids, I think the kids justified. Now, see, the kids's why he did it. That's a sad story. I think the kid's justified. Now, see, the kid's got a motive. The dad is just a maniac. He wants to poison 100 dogs. He allegedly had prepared a poison box of candy for a would-be lover that had spurned him,

and he was on his way to go and give out that candy before he got... Blah! This son's a hero. He did the right thing. Well, you'd think. I'm afraid I've already put my money on the roulette square. For right thing.

For right thing, yeah. Well, I've spun the roulette wheel. Oh, it's ended up in the you'd think square. Oh, no. I can't believe I'm sitting here in a James Bond style with Job Shark and James Jakeshaft facing me. And it's very tense. I'm raking in all these chips. He rakes them in.

Because that wasn't the end of someone's reign of poison terror. Yeah. From November of that year, a new series of poisonings started by an unknown figure dubbed the Strychnine Fiend. Good name. These poisonings were just like John Craven's crimes. They involved boxes of candy left on doorsteps, cars and other places where unsuspecting people who should be suspecting, to be honest, people would pick them up. I'm not into victim blaming, but if you see a box of sweets on a car. Leave it there.

Don't eat it. Don't eat it. Strickening fiend. Beware of that marshmallow. It's a harsh mellow so does that mean that daddy craven might have been innocent or are you saying we've got a copycat situation daddy craven just before he got shot he'd just come home from church he'd been at a prayer meeting uh by a and also apparently famous Spokane.

Spokane. Great prophet and faith healer, Dr. John Lake. DJ Lake. He was a very famous sort of holy man who was reckoned to have healed over 100,000 people in Spokane alone. How? Didn't happen. Putting his hands on him and thinking about it for a bit. How many people lived in Spokane at that time?

He healed 100,000 people. It says here, during this time in Spokane, the city's Chamber of Commerce advertised that it was the healthiest city in America because of him. It said that he would heal people of cancer and of having missing eyes. Right, so that is, if Wikipedia can be trusted, he has healed more than half the people who live in Spokane.

Some of them may have been very clumsy, and they may have lost more than one eye. I think they're double counting. I think he's got a large congregation who come repeatedly and are healed repeatedly. Quite small ailments as well, like paper cuts and splinters and things. I've got a little sniffle. I've hurt my knee.

And then they're back again a couple of weeks later. Yeah, it's once or twice a year you'd get the full missing eye replacement. Sorry, just to go into a little bit on Reverend John G. Lake. Sorry, just to be clear, the population of Spokane is only, according to Wikipedia, 230,000 people now. Yeah, because Dr. Lake died. If he was so good, why did he die? Explain that.

Faith healer, heal thyself. Yeah, exactly. Also, we've got 100 dead dogs out there on the street that you did nothing about. Massive stack of dead dogs. He had a column in the newspaper, Spokane newspaper. Spokane newspaper. Spokane. Yeah, not newspaper spokane newspaper spokane yeah not the spoken newspaper that's the radio yeah that's a podcast in which he said the spirit of god is just

as tangible as electricity is you handle it you minister it to another you receive it from god through faith and prayer your person becomes supercharged with it now i think only one of those things applies to electricity that you can get supercharged with it. Now, I think only one of those things applies to electricity, that you can get supercharged with it. I don't think you can or that you should handle electricity. Nope, nope, nope. This might explain why inspiration has needed so much healing. Yeah.

The thing is, I don't want to blow this case wide open, because the author of the book that I got this from has slightly done it already. They posit that perhaps the actual strychnine fiend was the boy Louis. The kid who shot his dad. The kid who shot his dad was the strychnine fiend. The strychnined. The strychnined. Doesn't really work. I keep, am I putting an extra syllable in strychnine?

I think it's strychnine. Strychnine. Or strychnine. Strychnine. I think Americans and British people say it differently, don't we? We've at least got that wiggle room. Although there's like a 30 minute bonus episode of me and forest talking about the pronunciation of all these words and i've clearly forgotten them yep i think it's strict neen in british english but strict nine in american english according to the cambridge dictionary website

so he shouldn't be the strict neen fiend he should be the strict nine find that's the other thing this book kind of just brushes over a lot of the ghosts. It just tells you these very macabre stories and says, and there's some hauntings around there, but it doesn't really go into the details. Yeah, not describing the full pyramid of dogs. Also, I find it very difficult to find any corroboration for a lot of these stories.

The only real Spokane ghost story that I can see corroborated in a lot of different places involves a Dr. Hahn who was quite into electroshock therapy and wasn't actually a doctor. So I think you can see where that's going. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Well, we'll just wind up the contraption. Unlike the Reverend G. Lake, I'm not going to handle that. No, no, no.

Leave that to DJ Lake. On a slightly more upbeat, spooky story, it's the birthplace of Bing Crosby, you know, from White Christmas. Yeah. My favourite Christmas thing is the him and David Bowie bit, if you've ever watched that. No, what is that? I always pop that out around Christmas.

I think it was in 1977. It was filmed about a month before Bing Crosby died. And it was like a Christmas special. And it's like Bing Crosby in some sort of English castle. And it's got a bit of a crinkly bottom vibe. I do like those Christmas specials where they're in a fake living room talking to the audience. Yes, it's that,

but it's a castle and the doorbell goes and Bing Crosby goes and opens it and it's only blooming David Bowie there. I'm David Bowie, I live down the road.

Still played by Harry H. Corbett. Does Bing Crosby's doorbell go Bing Crosby? It doesn't bong, it bings. That first singer to be named after, a text message alert. I do actually know what he was named after. What was he named after?

A cartoon character called Bingo from Bingville. Okay. And he really liked it, and his neighbours started calling him Bingo from Bingville, and the name stuck. There is a Bing Crosby theatre, which has a couple of ghosts. It's got the ghost of a spurned lover and a former stage manager. Not the ghost of Bing Crosby. Bing Crosby's ghost haunts the nearby Crosby Student Centre,

specifically the Crosbyana Room. The Crosbyana Room. Is that a room full of a miscellany of Bing Crosby memorabilia? Yes. Yes, it is. Well done. You cracked the code. Yep.

Just got it there. It features gold discs, a replica of Bing Crosby's Oscar. Would that not just be a replica of any Oscar? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fun fact, when those Oscars were given out in 1944, because of the rationing of metals, the guy that won best supporting actor his Oscar was

just made out of papier-mâché oh really or plaster of Paris or something he knocked the head off it by accident and a life-size cut

out of Bing himself even by the standards of student accommodation that room sounds grim I just love Bing Crosby's ghost hanging around while they make noodles

just a stirring tomato puree into some noodles that's probably a meal that room sounds grim. I just love Bing Crosby's ghost hanging around while they make noodles. Just stirring tomato puree into some noodles. That's probably a meal. Bing Crosby. Oh, no. I can't believe it's come to this. Things sure have changed since my day. Bing.

That's the sound of the microwave. He gets excited every time. Oh, it's just a super noodle. In that room, you hear the sound of drumming occasionally, Bing was quite a drummer. Oh yeah, yeah. It's really what he's known for, isn't it? Being a drummer. Also, that means he's got a ghost drum kit. So there's not a real drum kit that he's using. He's bringing his own spiritual drums. I've looked at far too many pictures of the surprisingly small room. Why don't you haunt a larger room, Bing?

You played the Carnegie Hall. Stop hanging about in this weird closet. Sad dreams. By the way, do you know his granddaughter is none other than Tasha Yar? From TNG? From like the first series of Star Trek, The Next Generation.

She was a good character. Shouldn't have left. She'd never have left. It was a mistake. I thought I upped the stakes by killing off quite a major character in the first series. I think I messed with the formula.

She has been Crosby's granddaughter. Well, good for her. Yes, good for her. What's the actress's name? Something Crosby. Denise Crosby. Denise Crosby. Blah, blah, blah.

Don't go in to a mysterious blackened sludge. Which is how Tashia dies. Yeah, I remember. Who could forget? To be honest, not many people have watched it. Because if you're the sort of person that's watching Star Trek TNG, you're the sort of person that remembers stuff that happens in teleprograms. So that is a Quistle Stop tour of spokane washington america

north what they call it united states i think they call it the usa usa well thank you very much uh it sounds dreadful yeah far too many serial killers way way too many how can you have so many serial killers in the healthiest town in america Oh, I've got one last ghost. Oh, all right. Yep. Slip him in. Slip him in before the scores. On July 25th, 2008, a hunting party of adults...

Why would you mention that? Well, because they saw the ghost of a prehistoric raptor dinosaur. They saw a dinosaur's ghost. They saw the ghost of a dinosaur. Wow. I think that's the first non-human ghost we've had on the podcast. No, we've had some animal ghosts. We had the sad, sad pigs.

That's the first dinosaur ghost we've had on the podcast. That is the first prehistoric ghost I think we've had. I wonder though, did it look like a raptor from the film Jurassic Park? Because that isn't accurate to what raptors look like. Or was it like most ghosts and it had a roof, like an Elizabethan roof on? Holding its head underneath. Holding its own little raptor's head in a claw.

That's what the big thumbs are for. Yeah. It's not for cutting your belly. It's for holding its own head. In the afterlife, yep. So there's, you know, there's science on this podcast as well. It's tall tales. Yeah, it's not all nonsense.

Let's get to them scores, shall we? Let's do it. First category. Naming. Names. Well, there's Spokane. Spokane. I believe so.

Bloomin' hope so, because I've said it like that a lot. That is decent. Who else have we got for me? DJ Lake. I like him. televisions john craven yes star of country file and strychnine fiendishness oh the strychnine fiend great name sonora smart dodd yeah yeah yeah job sharks and what was the name of the girly feminist elizabeth girly flynn elizabeth girly fly. That's hilarious. Bing Crosby. Okay. Yep. Bingo from Bingville.

Bingo from Bing Bing Bing. Yep. The many names of Bluebeard. Yes, there were lots of them, although they were all rubbish. He was all rubbish. The Wobblies. Forgot about the Wobblies.

The IWW. All right. I think it's a three. And the Wobblies are carrying most of that. Alrighty then. Alrighty then. In which case, I'll bring you along to my next category. Thank you. Supernatural.

Okay, Dinosaur Ghost. Dinosaur Ghost. That's pretty supernatural. Dinosaur Ghost. I'm also pitching my new cartoon series, Dinosaur Ghost. Dinosaur Ghost. Dinosaur Ghost. Elizabethan Dinosaur Ghost.

He's the main ghost. We're leaning heavily on the Dinosaur Ghost there. Bing Crosby, the famous drummer, manifesting himself through drumming. Yes. Yeah, of course. Of course he did. Wearing a ruff, which does make it a little bit difficult with the sticks. But that's why he's not playing the violin.

Yeah. Just miscellaneous ghosts related to the other deaths. I have to say, not only do I not believe that Bing Crosby is drumming in the hereafter. In the student accommodation. I don't believe that he's there in a student flat drumming away, like the mysterious fifth housemate in The Young Ones. A student flat that's been turned into a shrine to him. Yeah, it's weird.

No, I don't believe that. I also don't really believe that they saw the ghost of a raptor. Or you think they saw a real one? I have to take the evidence at face value. On the face of it, that's a couple of pretty good ghosts. Yeah. So I'm going to go with a four. Yes.

Because you've got a famous ghost and you've got a dinosaur ghost. I want to score it lower because I don't believe it, but a dinosaur. Come on. Come on. Come on. It's a dinosaur. Come on. Come on. Come on. It's a dinosaur. Why would you make it up? You couldn't.

In my third category, it doesn't have a pithy enough name, but it's Poisoned Candy Myths. Oh. I don't know what would be a funnier name for it. But I was basically trying to Google Halloween candy scare. Yeah. Obviously that's just, that just gives you all Halloween candy. Oh, yes, yeah. The old strychnine fiend

or strychnine find leaving those poisoned sweets around reminded me of the tales you would hear around Halloween time of poisoned sweets. Yeah. Razor blades in your apples. And drugs.

Oh, because famously people who buy drugs love to give them away for free to children. Anonymously. It reminded me that in the 90s, do you remember Nerds, the sweet? They were banned. Yes. Because they found glass in them or something. Did they actually find glass in them? Because I remember eating them with fear every time again that's difficult to google

because at the moment there's a big nerd scare because a lot of them are anti-feminist incels actually most of them are fine but sometimes you'll get one where there's something wrong there's a type that is available in california that is full of thc which is cannabis drugs is it yeah and it's actual nerds brand as far as i can tell really it's a it's a legit because it's legal there and it's like parents be careful your kids might get these really cool sweets that'll get them high yeah yeah watch out kids these this is where you don't want to buy them from. Yeah, look out for the fun and excitement that comes with these abandoned, forbidden sweets.

Don't use this voucher code for free shipping. The rumours of Halloween candy, it's complete modern urban legend. There's no truth in it at all. But James, loads of police departments share this information. Surely the police wouldn't be easily duped by a scare.

The thing that will happen is that there'll be some copycats by kids who just want to cause a bit of fun, have a bit of devilment. Yeah, it's the same thing as when people reported mysterious clown sightings. People start dressing up as an evil clown.

As mysterious clowns. Once you hear, yeah, once people hear that it's happening, they start to do it. The closest thing that happened was, this is according to Wikipedia, in 1959, a California dentist gave out candy-coated laxative pills because he was a dentist, so he didn't like sweets. I just don't understand why dentists i always assumed it was an act because if everybody's got good teeth you're out of a job exactly why did why do dentists hate sweets so much like don't you not enjoy doing fillings the thing that people pay you to do

i suppose because they've got a scam that you have to go see him every six months so you're always going to come back so if you lose your teeth you're not going to come back i see so they want to keep you with some teeth they need you with a baseline level of teeth yeah and they don't want to do any work they just want to they just want you to come back keep paying your money every six months and then and for them to just count your teeth yeah yeah tap tap tap so i had lots of teeth out when i was a kid um just for for a laugh i think um not because they were they were rotten or anything. But every single time, I'm always slightly sad that my dentist doesn't trust me

because she says, sit in another chair, has anything changed your teeth? And I say no. And then she counts my teeth to see if I have the same number of teeth as I had last month. If one of them had come out,

I would have said during the pre-sitting conversation where you say, has anything changed? It is the sort of thing you'd mention. Imagine if I tried to cover that up from you, someone who has a list of my teeth. Oh, oh, I have a list of my teeth.

I just remembered. I actually got into a fight in a Western and spat three of them out onto the floor. I'd completely forgotten. I got a new one. I did have one come in, but that is a standard Wisdom 2 situation. That's what I want as my category. I've got to be honest, I've forgotten what the category was.

Yeah, me too. Five out of five. And for the record, that should be a question mark in the spreadsheet. Hey, kids, leave those sweets alone. Is that the category? I think so, yeah. Don't go in to the sweet givers

house drugged candy okay then my final category is unexpected dinosaur ghost didn't see that coming well

no I didn't see the ghost coming, I didn't see the ghost coming and I didn't see the category coming either. I'm kind of annoyed because you really leave me with no option. Obviously, it's a five out of five. The dinosaur ghost was completely unexpected as much by me as by the hunters who saw it. Was it one that let off his gun by accident?

And this was, he's done it so many times that they're just like what Jeff come on why have you let your gun off this time he's like I was

I thought I saw a ghost of a dinosaur yes the velociraptors you know from Jurassic Park it does feel like he's being pressed on

I don't know what did you say a ghost it could be a person don't shoot them Jeff it was a dinosaur ghost I. It was a dinosaur ghost. I think it was a dinosaur ghost. Is it dinosaur ghost season?

Quickly changing the poster on a tree. Jeff, we're all adults here. You can level with us. What happened? It was the ghost of a dinosaur. What kind of dinosaur, Jeff? The raptors from Jurassic Park. The raptors from Jurassic Park.

They're not even called that. They're called velociraptors, which means fast raptor. It's fast thief. Speedy thief. Is that it? Oh, they'd be great on a D&D team. A little raptor. Has no one done it?

Surely we are going to get messages about dinosaur D&D. D&D&D. D&D&D. Dinosaurs and Dungeons and Dragons. Let's do it. Well, James, I'm rolling a D20. Oh, this has got to be good.

It's five, which is a terrible score with a D20, but in the context of this game, a huge achievement. Well, I enjoyed that. It's good to be back, James. It's good to have you back.

Do you want to do a Patreon plug? Yeah, let's do a Patreon plug. See if we can rope them in. Giving us some money for this. There is what could be a very interesting Patreon episode. If your interests are two middle-aged men talking about the differences between the way English people pronounce things and the way American people pronounce things.

Wow. It's me chatting to Forrest Burgess of Astonishing Legends podcast and me mispronouncing the word Spokane multiple times and him exhibiting massive patience. Trademark restraint. Yes. You can access that via patreon.com forward slash lawmen pod. That sounds right up my alley, James.

And enjoy this tale from Spokane. Was it? Washington. Did they say the P in was it? I don't know. I've turned over by that point. How do Americans talk? Cause. The beer. They by that point. How do Americans talk? Coors.

The beer. They talk about that. They do? Coors was advertised by John Ratzenberger, the guy from Cheers. You know that guy? He's also in the Pixar films. Every single one? Every single one of them. And that has messed up the algorithm.

Because I was looking on YouTube and you youtube was recommending me john ratzenberger films oh so it's noticed that john ratzenberger is in all these films which are super popular and has decided you know what it is the common thread it's the ratzen factor it's the ratzen factor people love right wing hollywood personality john ratzenberger that's why they're watching these films. And I thought, that's ridiculous. They're just all Pixar films.

And then I scrolled down and it had Anthony Daniels films. Oh, well, he's in them. He's in them, but it's not the common thread. He's the guy in the C-3PO suit. Very, you know, they're both great, but it's not the reason people are watching the films. Both great, him and the suit. I mean, John Ratzenberger is very funny,

but he's on the Trump train, so I don't like him. Oh, the Trump train. I mean, I'd like to see the Trump train, but I imagine it stinks. Were you not getting Ratzenberger hits because you'd been Googling previous popes? Was there a Pope Ratzenberger? I think there was a popes. Was there a Pope Ratzenberger? I think there was a Pope.

Wasn't there a last Pope Ratzenberger? Was he? Yeah. Did he have a Boston accent? Like, yeah, okay, yeah, I'm the Pope here. I don't think he was called Pope Ratzenberger. Pope Ratzenberger. Pope Benedict the XVI, which is one of the sports models.

That's got the sunroof, right? Oh, no, he was Rat Zinger. Ah, forget it. And I always thought it was like the worst KFC, the Rat Zinger burger.