Loremen Podcast - S4 Ep18: Loremen S4 Ep 18 - The Exmouth Summoning

Episode Date: October 20, 2022

"The boatman awaits..." As 90s soul sensation Gabrielle once sang, dreams CAN come true. She also sang, "look at me babe I'm with you," but that is less relevant to this story. This episode's legend comes from James's Spooky Book Of The Month, Haunted England by Christina Hole. It's a tale of premonition and a kind of spooky justice... Get yer tickets for the HALLOWEEN LIVE show here: https://www.angelcomedy.co.uk/event-detail/loremen-halloween-spooktakular-31st-oct-the-bill-murray-london-tickets-202210311830/ Loreboys nether say die! Check the sweet, sweet merch here... https://www.teepublic.com/stores/loremen-podcast?ref_id=24631 Support the Loremen here (and get stuff): patreon.com/loremenpod ko-fi.com/loremen @loremenpod www.youtube.com/loremenpodcast

Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from days of yore. I'm James Shakeshaft. And I'm Alistair Beckett-King. Alistair, this episode comes from the south coast of England. And the story concerns legal proceedings, and I think the author was a little bit worried about legal repercussions. This episode has more redactions than you can... Oh, never mind.

Let's have a listen. It's the X-Math Summoning. Hello, Alistair. Hello, James. I've got quite a treat for you. Have you? Yes. Can you eat it?

Oh, no, it's not. It is inedible. Is it like, now I'm getting flashbacks to getting like a jumper from my gran for Christmas. What a lovely gran. Was it hand knitted with Bart Simpson on it? With a copyright infringing Bart Simpson? Yes. Yes, yes, it was. That sounds lovely. Well, you could probably eat that in a pinch. It's organic. Actually, I suppose technically you can eat paper.

You probably shouldn't. I think you definitely shouldn't, but you can eat it. Right. I've got a tale because it's October. It's a story from haunted England by a friend of the show, Christ in a Hole. Christina Hole. Christ in a hole. Christina Hole. Christ in a hole. And this story, I think it's going to appeal to you because it's spooky, but it starts off as a dream.

And it's very much acknowledged that it's a dream. Okay. All right. But then things get, for want of a better word, interesting. Well, that's fantastic. What are we on? About episode 300? It's about time we did something interesting.

For want of a better word. Every previous episode was just set up for this. So this is from a chapter called Unknown Ghosts from Haunted England by Christ in a Hole. Would you like a quick rundown of some of the other chapter titles? Go on, yes. It is the Book of the Month, The Threshold of Death, Ghosts of the Great,

Traditional Tales, Violent Death, Nice. Quiet Ghosts, Unknown Ghosts, Coaches and Horsemen, Animal Ghosts, and Poltergeist.

And Poltergeist. Poltergeist. And a Poltergrouse which should be under animal ghosts really yes it's a noisy grouse it's a cheeky grouse so unknown ghosts that seems yeah terribly broad well the story before this one um that i'm about to tell you it features a guy called john thomas who lives in Just. He falls down a well and then a ghost appears sitting at the top of the well. And then people go up to see it. The ghost disappears and then they hear the guy that's fallen down the well.

The guy that's fallen down the well has been rescued. Kind of a sort of a ghost lassie in a way. Yeah, a kindly ghost. Well, the story I'm going to tell you, it was originally published in Strange Things Among Us by Henry Spicer back in 1863. Was that a regular periodical, Strange Things Among Us? I think it's quite a big book. I managed to find it for free on the internet, but legitimately for free because it's really old. Now, the annoying thing about this book's index, it's got a contents page, really interesting story names, no numbers.

The contents page doesn't have page numbers. No, it just lists all the things that happen in the book in order. When was it published? 1863. They definitely knew how books worked. They had numbers. They had numbers. And they had the concept of a contents page.

That's absurd. There's like the silver nail, phenomena of the death chamber, They had numbers and they had the concept of a contents page. That's absurd. There's like the silver nail, phenomena of the death chamber, other alleged omens. Is that like the 14th Society's version of any other business? Conjectural examples in the cases of Colonel B and Colonel M. I don't even know what this one's called because this is one of those old books where they've sort of omitted the names by just putting the first letter and then a line. Then a long line, yeah.

But it makes it seem like it swears. Yep. The modern fashion is to just say the first letter of a swear word, so you don't actually say the swear word, but you make the person you're talking to think the swear word in their own head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how it works. Like, I've just S'd the bed yes for example or the s town podcast the s town podcast which in the

19th century would just be a town beginning with s that they wanted to keep anonymous yes yeah so there's stories of lord c and and colonel b and flight lieutenant mf there are a load of w's in and Colonel B and Flight Lieutenant MF. There are a load of Ws in my view. The Monk of Payern. Transvision at the hotel. That sounds like an advert for a dance night that you might see tied to a host at a zebra crossing. There's quite a few spooky genres of music.

There's also house. That's a classic location for a haunting. And garage. You can have a haunted garage is there such thing as haunted house music i'd love to include some haunted house music in the episode i think it's beyond my musical capabilities which are zero it's a classic four on the floor but underneath there is a native american burial ground. Soul music, that's also quite spooky, because the soul persists after death.

Exactly. There's loads of spooky music genres. Yep. EDM, there's probably like a meter you can get, like an EDM meter. There's like... Extraordinarily demonic mutterings is what that stands for. So I've got no idea what Henry Spicer wanted to call this story

because there's no even gaps between stories, simply a paragraph gap. And then he's onto something else. This story is about a young undergraduate of Cambridge, Mr. D. That's a rude one. He's gone on holiday to Exmouth. They've given the full name there, so we can be assured the town is not slandered. Exmouth's going to come out of this looking rosy. And, oh, as Henry Spicer points out, as many readers are aware, the River Ex is crossed by a ferry communicating with the Starcross Station

on the Great Western Railway. Oh, that's a nice name, the Starcross Station. It is. It's quite romantic, isn't it?ed station it is it's quite romantic isn't it yeah some of the other less romantic place names around there include cockwood that's seawood sorry yes seawood limpstone and i quite like the sound of this one powder ham probably pronounced powder that's from the second world war where you have to just add water and you can mix yourself up a punnet of ham. No one rehydrates a ham like you, Ma. Of course, a Back to the Future 2 reference.

Well done, well done. For once. Righty-ho. Back to the story. So our Cambridge undergraduate, Mr. D, is on holiday. He's asleep. And between 12 and 1 o'clock is suddenly awoken with the impression that he's just been spoken to by an imperative voice that was saying with such distinctness

that the last word still rang upon his ear. And the voice said, what sort of voice do you think this voice should have? You choose. I guess sort of... This voice should have. You choose. I guess sort of. Oh, that sort of spooky. Yeah, sort of trembling kind of. Sepulchral.

Sepulchral voice. Okay. Go down to the ferry. And he thought, that's a dream. I'm going to go back to sleep. Good for you. That's what I would have done. And then the command is repeated. Go down to the ferry.

The boatman waits oh i've injured myself doing that boy is the coughing part of it or is no that is the urian character is the model's own there was some something about this that the young man thought was impossible to disregard or the fact it's happened twice, and there's definitely a ferry nearby, but it's just the middle of the night. There's not going to be any ferryman there, right? Right. You'd think, especially as the ferry stays in Starcross on the other side of the river, X.

That is the name of the river. That is not having its identity hidden. And he's an X-Meth. If he goes down to the ferry, it's just going to be an empty ferry port, but he can't get back to sleep. Well, not after he heard that out-of-work actor voice speaking to him twice. He walks down to the ferry. To his astonishment, he hears the boatman, whose hoarse voice was heard through the darkness, hailing him impatiently. Well, you've kept me waiting long enough tonight, I think. I've stopped Naya on an air for you.

I don't know why the boatman's from London. I just wanted to make it clear it wasn't the same voice as earlier. It's a different voice, right? Yeah. So it seems the ferryman too had heard a voice, but he just thought it was some bloke shouting at him from across the river. Right. Rather than some sort of dream.

So he got in his ferry, ferried across, and then this guy turns up and he's like oh here you are come on get in the ferry mate that is extremely good of him to do that yeah so they they shipped him across in the ferry to star cross to the train station and then spicer describes exeter exeter exeter was the word that kept continually reverberating, as it were, in his mental ear, like a summoning bell. Now, I don't know if they had station tannoys in those days, but that will probably make a little bit more sense. But he's got the idea to go to Exeter, so he does. And it being only eight or 10 miles, reach that good city at about dawn.

So he gets off at Exeter, and he doesn't know what to do now. There's no more voices ringing in his head, in his mental ear, telling him where to go. So he just sort of wanders around Exeter for a bit. And then he's like, oh, a bit peckish. And he finds a hotel to go and get some breakfast. And then he thinks, I'll catch the train back to Starcross, then the ferry back across to Exmouth, and then I'll go back to bed.

And he orders his breakfast, and the waiter's very slow to bring his breakfast, and he kind of calls him up on it, and the waiter's like, I'm really sorry, but it's very exciting because the Azizis are in town. And so the hotel is full. Oh.

Yeah. You know what the Azizis are. The Azizis. Well, the word has come up several times in the podcast, but I don't think I really know what it means. Is it like a sort of court? As far as I understand, basically, if you had a wrong-un in your town, you'd lock them up, and once a month,

a sort of a travelling judge would come round and do their judging, and those were the Azizes. A bit of a showman. Yes their judging. And those were the Azizes. A bit of a showman. Yes, yes. And those were the Azizes. The Azizes. So they'd just be held in one of those little prisons in the middle of the street that is one tiny little building.

Yes. Now, Mr. D had heard nothing of the Azizes and took but little interest in the subject. Seeing, however, that the waiter regarded it as an event of considerable importance, he good-humouredly encouraged him to continue the theme and was rewarded with a very amusing history of such cases as had already been disposed of, as well as with the waiter's own views

concerning those yet to be tried. So he's kind of gone, oh, Aziz's is it? Which is easy for me to say. Aziz's is it? I didn't realise me to say. Aziz's is it? I didn't realise he was played by Harry H. Corbett. It's nice to hear the Bowie. It was an inflected, it was a Bowie-inspired performance,

but they couldn't get the rights to the songs. So they're called things like Life on M-S City. I think it's an M-dash, I think, rather than a hyphen. Is it? James, that's not me correcting you. I'm just saying that in case one of the pedants comes after you because I wouldn't want that. I'm on your side.

You take no pleasure in that correction. And also, it might not be an M-dash, in which case I've really put a target on my back. So, he's listening. And, you know, when someone's really interested in a topic, and they tell you about it a lot, sometimes it can be very boring.

But sometimes, it can become interesting. Their interest kind of rubs off on you. Hopefully, the listeners of our podcast understand that feeling. And hopefully, any new listeners do. Welcome. Hopefully, the listeners of our podcast understand that feeling. And hopefully any new listeners do. Welcome. Yeah, hello, hello. And so he thought,

you know what? I might go check out these Azizis. I might see what's going on with the Azizis. He's voiced by a big dog. Yes. Uh, we,

he was played by David Bowie for the first part, but, um, couldn't afford him for the whole thing. And now it's just a large dog. They just got a golden retriever. It's pretty much the same. I'll go and get your stick later on my own terms.

Sorry. Is that from when, before we replaced it, Bowie with a dog, but we were still throwing sticks for him to fetch. Yeah. Yeah. I think we kind of got the idea that we were going replaced him, Bowie with a dog, but we were still throwing sticks for him to fetch? Yeah, yeah. I think we kind of got the idea that we weren't going to keep David Bowie for the entirety of this story,

and that we would therefore have to replace him here with a big dog. So we kind of got him to do dog stuff. Yeah. David Bowie, stop chasing squirrels. Yeah, David Bowie, stop dragging your bum over the carpet. Bowie, stop that. Hit over the carpet. Bowie, stop that. Hit Bowie's nose with a newspaper. I just want to nuzzle your crotch for a short time.

I don't know which one that is now. Anyway. Let's go and see the Azizis. Yeah, so he goes to the Azizis. He goes to the Azizis. He goes to see the Azizis. And as he gets in, I'll allow Henry Spicer to take over again. The case just commencing seemed to create unusual excitement.

The prisoner at the bar, who was in the dress of a carpenter, I guess that's sort of white overalls rather than Jesus, who's the only sort of carpenter I could think that had a distinct outfit. He's the only carpenter I remember wearing a dress. Apart from a lady carpenter, you daft sexist. Yeah, that's true. That is true, yeah. I can't think of a single female carpenter,

apart from that one out of the carpenters. Apart from Karen. Yeah, apart from Karen. Or, to be honest, just a carpenter that wants to wear a dress. Come on. Yep, yep. No, I've learned several lessons. It's 2022. It is. 2022. This time. Yep. Yep. No, I've learned several lessons. It's 2022.

It is. This time it wasn't 2022. No, it's 1863. 1863. So the chain of evidence against him, though circumstantial, was complete and a conviction seemed inevitable. This prisoner's got no defense, as an American would say, or defense, as I would say. Yeah. Defense, as an American would say, or defense, as I would say.

Or defense, as Harry H. Corbett playing David Bowie would say. Yep, yep. Or as a dog replacing David Bowie would say. The dog, the big dog that we got to replace David Bowie would say, yes. Everyone's saying, have you got an alibi? He quietly replies. Now, what voice should I use for this one? I think this guy's actually innocent, so I think you want a voice

of an honest, earnest voice. Like your own voice. It's impossible that I could have committed this crime. Classic James Shakespeare voice. That sounds like an even bigger big dog. Now, I'm going to do it as a normal person. The circumstantial evidence is overwhelming.

We've got paw prints all over the crime scene. It must have been you, dog carpenter. A dog would make a terrible carpenter. Yeah, constantly chasing the bits of wood. Yeah, constantly distracted. But this human carpenter says, It's impossible that I could have committed this crime because on the day and at the hour it took place, I was sent for to mend the sash line of a window at Mr. GM's house. At M, there is one

gentleman, he added after a pause, who could prove that I was there, but I don't know who he is, nor where to have him looked for. Yes, I know he could prove my innocence for a particular reason that would remind him of me. But there, I can't help it. The Lord's will be done. And the poor fellow with a sigh appeared to resign himself to his fate. Same, they're never going to find that guy, I think. They could have done something. Like, ring up Mr. GM.

Yeah, they could have asked him this question earlier. Yes. Pre-Aziz's. Pre-Aziz's. Pre-Aziz's. And all this time, Mr. D had been listening with profound attention to the progress of the trial. And when the prisoner concluded his sad and hopeless address, he started and looked earnestly at him. And he started to have a memory. He knew Mr. GM.

What? And he had gone to pay a visit to his friend at m and mr gm was away but he really wanted to have a chat with him so mr d decided to await his return and for that purpose had gone up to his friend's library meaning to beguile the interval with a book which is a lovely turn of phrase are you beguiling the interval in there? Are you beguiling the interval with a wordle? So he goes up to the library to get a book. In there, he finds a carpenter fixing the sash window,

and he starts to have a chat to him. And this is testament to Mr. D's personality. The carpenter says something so interesting that Mr. D wants to write it down. So he gets his pocketbook out, but he hasn't got a pencil. And what do carpenters definitely have? Behind their ears? Stuck behind their ears, a cigarette. Also on the other ear, a pencil. A pencil, yeah. He gives him the pencil.

Throws it for him and he bounds after it. And he says, oh, you can keep it, sir. And it's one of those carpenter's pencils, you know, with the square sides that are really, really lovely to write with. Very, very reassuring to hold in your hand. Only carpenters are allowed to buy them. Exactly. And Mr. D is like, I can prove this man's innocence. So he gets himself sworn in as a witness,

recounts that story, produces the pencil from his pocket, and the carpenter gets off. I mean, the pencil doesn't really prove anything there. It's a carpenter's pencil. It's got square sides. So that proves that he has a carpenter's pencil. If the other guy had said, I gave him a pencil. Yeah, and Mr. D is vouching for him. Yeah, but it's his testimony.

It's his evidence that this happened. The other guy didn't say that he'd given him a pencil. For some reason, he's really vague. That's what I'm saying, James. If he had said, I gave him a pencil, and the other guy said, look, here's the pencil, that would be compelling. Him having not said that, the pencil doesn't prove anything. Well, it does.

It doesn't. Well, it did. It doesn't. It doesn't tell us anything. All right, carry on. That's it. That's't tell us anything. All right, carry on. That's it. That's the end. All right.

The guy got off. The guy got off. I'm sorry I ruined that with pedantry. Well, good, good, because he sounded innocent. But Henry Spicer sums it up by saying, It is difficult to meet a sufficiently authenticated case of this description otherwise than with the simple confession that God's ways are not our ways. Or to sum it pedant about a pen, so it's ways are not our ways. No.

Or to sum it pedant about a pen, so it's what it should say underneath. It should say the pencil didn't actually prove anything there. And an em dash is the name of the long version of a hyphen. Probably scribbled in with a particularly fat pencil. Would you like to hear Christ in Holes assessment? Yes, yes yes please uh today we should perhaps suggest telepathy as a possible explanation but if so it may be that we're merely using modern and more scientific words to describe what amounts in the end to

very much the same thing yeah one of them scientific words telepathy. Nice one, Christ in a hole. So, questions? That's the end of the tale. It raises many. It raises many questions. But I do have

actually a little side tale also from Haunted England by Christ in a hole. This is from The Threshold of Death and the introduction

One other dream may be recorded here, if only for the sake of its sheer glorious pointlessness. So basically, a chap called Joseph Wilkins in 1754 was an usher at a school in Ottery, St. Mary. I'm sorry to interrupt you so early on in the story. What's an usher in a school? Don't know.

They say, kids sit down. Yeah, but it's not like, you there, Jimkins, I'll take you to your seat. There you go. You sit down and now another child. That's an incredibly inefficient system. Are you with the headmaster

or with the headmistress? So he dreamt he was going to London and decided to visit his home in Gloucestershire first. And he goes there and he finds the front door locked so he goes around the back. No one's downstairs, so he goes up to his parents' bedroom where he finds his father sleeping, but his mother's still awake. And he says to her, Mother, I'm going on a long journey and I'm come to bid you goodbye. She

was very frightened and answered, Oh dear son, thou art dead. At this point, he woke up and subsequently thought no more of the matter yeah yeah yeah a few days later he receives a letter from his father begging him if he was still alive to write at once and if he was already dead whoever reads the letter would answer it and it went on to say that even if he lived he would not be spared for long for his mother had already seen his wraith the mum had been lying awake with her husband sleeping beside her all the things that he dreamt happen had happened to his mum she heard someone try in the front door she heard someone come in the back door walk up the stairs it was her son saying i'm

about to go on a long journey and then he disappeared i'm about to go on a long journey we are getting bowie to do the pointless side story and nothing happened to the guy he lived a long normal life told that story oh right so it was just a kind of astral projection just goes to show sometimes just ghost to show oh oh lovely stuff well done oh that is very nice it just goes to show just goes to show. Just goes to show. I think that's another way of, you know, pointing out that God's ways are not our ways. They are not our ways.

No. We're just two simple men who trained a dog to impersonate David Bowie. We could not comprehend the vast complexity of the world's creator. If you want to use scientific terms, like training a dog to be David Bowie. So that's the end of the tale, the double tale. Very spooky and quite, seemingly quite well-researched. Like they sound like things that might actually have happened this time.

It's not my work, Christ in a Hole's work. Christ in a Hole's work, well a hole's work well done christina so you're ready to score me or something i love to score you or something let's do it then okay category number one numero uno okay wait are you just saying number one or is the first category numero uno no it is is i'm just saying it in a in a bit of a funny way right okay okay are you saying you think spanish people talk funny james no i was saying it in a bit of a funny way. Right. Okay. Okay. Are you saying you think Spanish people talk funny, James? No, I was saying it like I say about the card game. Okay.

You were thinking of the card game. All right. What's the first category? Naming. Naming. Well, there was a distinct lack of names. There were D's and there was Mr. GM. It was the town of M.

Yeah. And there was X mouth. We don the town of M. Yeah. And there was X mouth. We don't know what X stands for. We don't know what it used to be. No, we know what it used to be. We don't know what it is now. Yeah. We've got Starcross, Cockwood.

Starcross is really good. And Cockwood, yes. The Limpstone. The Limpstone. Powdered Ham. Powder Ham. Remind me what Powder Ham is again? Powderham.

It's probably pronounced Powderham. Powderham, right. Okay, it's a place name Ham is again? Powderham. It's probably pronounced Powderham. Powderham. Right. Okay. It's a place name, is it? Yes. Right. I see.

Annoyingly, when I saw it, I was like, oh, Exmouth. That's on the South Coast. That's pretty sure. Is it? Could it be in the county of? No. It's not in Dorset. No.

It's next Dorset. It's in Devon after all that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We've got Henry Spicer. We've got David Bowie. We've got dog David Bowie. All right.

I think it's a three because you had three really good names. And powdered ham. And powdered ham, yeah. Christ in a hole. Can't use her. We can't use her. Nope. She's already been used.

Exempt. You have to wait for that to recharge. Maybe next month, once the tariff rolls over. Oh, it's a Christ in a hole rollover. Yeah. Yes, it will be for one lucky person. In which case, we'll move on to category two, supernatural. Really high.

Mm-hmm. We've got a ghost. We've got a man who is a ghost himself and witnesses to his astral projecting. Mm-hmm. Two witnesses. One witness. The husband was asleep. One witness and a sleeping witness.

Yeah. That's not really a witness. Still, any witnesses is impressive. Yep. They were moved to write a letter. Imagine being moved to write a letter nowadays. That's got to be something that's pretty special.

No, I wouldn't do it. You wouldn't get an email out of me just because I saw a ghost. Would it be just a WhatsApp? You okay, hon? At best, yeah. It would be

one of the animated GIF replies of a ghost. I wouldn't even bother giving any information. Fair enough. Just be my way of saying, you're about to die. Sorry.

The other story also has two witnesses. Two witnesses to the second story? There were, yes. Who, what the? Well, there's the guy who was woken by the horse voice, and then there was the other horse-voiced man, the boatman. They both heard a mystery voice.

Maybe the carpenter was as well. He just didn't bother mentioning it because he really left out a lot of important facts. Yes. He was really not making any effort to not be imprisoned. For murder. For murder as well. I'd forgotten it was murder.

Pretty sure it was murder. We're probably talking about hanging. And he was just like, oh, well, I didn't do it, but I'm not going to defend myself. There's probably someone who could say I'm innocent, but I have no idea how to find them. Here's an unamated gif. That's what I'm seeking to get out of me.

No, that's lazy of him. And also the ghost in the well was a similar kind of spirit, a helpful spirit. Oh, yes. Trying to reveal that something had happened. Ghost Lassie. It helped. Yes, yes.

A human ghost Lassie. Yeah.. Yes, yes. A human ghost lassie. Yeah. Played by David Bowie. The dog. I think it's five out of five for Supernatural. Yes, I think so too. It's very good. Did you have a voice wake you in the night saying,

Give him five out of five. And I just went straight back to sleep, paid no attention to it. Get on a ferry. The boatman awaits. That's a pretty cool turn of phrase. That is. Anyway, I've still got five out of five.

I'm just doing a victory lap now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Third cat. I want to go, I want Moon Age Daydream as my category. Because it's named after a Bowie song. Yeah. And there's all this a Bowie song. Yeah. And there's all this talk of dreams and so on. The dreams do happen during the night.

Yeah. A moon age daydream. The age of the moon. Is night. Is night time. Yeah. That's how we describe night time, isn't it? The dusk of the day is the dawn of the night.

Is it the noon of night? Yeah. All right. You've caught me out with the noon of night before. So I'm on the back foot so i'm after points for the dream aspect yeah and the bowie niss yeah okay we sort of shoehorned in yeah i'm not sure where that came from but um he does creep in now and again and he's played by in this case it was a split role half played by by Harry H. Corbett, half played by Big Dog. By Big Dog, yeah.

Which is a newcomer to the podcast, the Big Dog. Yeah. Harry H. Corbett is a regular. In a way, I could have called this category David Bow-a-woo-a-woo. That's way better than David Boney, which is all I could come up with. The only other things I had is, there obviously is actually a song by him called diamond dogs oh yeah and the cover of that had a half bowie half dog hybrid painting oh yeah

um he did do a song called cat people and i suppose dogs in a way are cat people because they just love them they love chasing after them that's a stretch uh and a song called five years which is how many dog years there are to a human that's that is a lie you've just lied now i think it's uh i think it's pretty good but it's also a little bit cheeky because you've clearly just combined two things together so it's a four so what's your final category? My final category? Who's Aziz is Aziz? Alright, it's a strong opening for that category. Oh. Who's Aziz

is Aziz? Who's Aziz is Aziz? Who's Aziz is Aziz? Aziz, you're Aziz. Well, I mean, I enjoyed the Aziz's, but it was only a small part of the episode, I think. Most enjoyed the Aziz's, but it was only a small part of the episode, I think. Most of the story didn't take place at the Aziz's. But it was the culmination.

It was what the voice, the voice was leading him to, ultimately. Exeter, Exeter, Exeter. And then he had to go and meet a waiter who gave him the last little bit of the clue. But the Aziz's were the whole crux of the matter. No, I think there was a setting, the setting for the story to unfold. Okay, here we go. I'm reaching into my pocket and I'm pulling out... Yeah, what?

A pencil. Is it a square pencil? It's a square carpenter's pencil. Proof, if proof be need be, that should be a five. That is proof. If proof be need be, it's five out of five. Yeah. How can I argue with such a convincing argument as a pencil?

Such a lovely pencil. We've got a triangular pencil. Those are pretty satisfying. And you wouldn't want to write an essay with one of them rectangular. So all in all uh five out of five was that because of the pencil yes five out of five well done yeah i have to say james i think we learned a lot about David Bowie, considering this was a 19th century story that doesn't feature David Bowie. Do you want more of this?

Hey, if you want extras, you can sign up at patreon.com forward slash lawmen pod. Yes, there's loads of bonus episodes on the Patreon. And you can come and see us live at the Bill Murray on the 31st of Halloween. I mean, October. 2022. Come see us at the BM in A in L. Yeah? Murray on the 31st of Halloween I mean October 2022 come see us at the BM in A in L yeah or on youtube.com

forward slash lawmen pod why I probably shouldn't ask that question the lawmen live again. Four out of five is how a dog would say that. That sounds like a dog that's playing Tommy Cooper. From what I've seen, he looked like he was being played by a dog in a human costume. Yes, a sort of puppet played by a dog in a human costume. Yes.

A sort of puppet controlled by a dog, yes.