Loremen Podcast - S4 Ep20: Loremen S4 Ep20 - Do Go On UK Tour

Episode Date: November 3, 2022

Well, it's something a little different this week! Matt Stewart and Dave Warneke of Do Go On join James for a whistle stop tour of British folklore. These hilarious Australian podcasters are embarking on their own UK tour (dates are here: dogoonpod.com/live-shows) and James kindly shares the snippets of folklore, history and Telly Savalas trivia that every visitor simply must know. Our very own James is actually going to be joining Matt for a live recording of Who Knew It with Matt Stewart in Bristol on the 17th November. "Come along! It should be a real fun time." - James Shakeshaft, 2022. Loreboys nether say die! Check the sweet, sweet merch here... https://www.teepublic.com/stores/loremen-podcast?ref_id=24631 Support the Loremen here (and get stuff): patreon.com/loremenpod ko-fi.com/loremen @loremenpod www.youtube.com/loremenpodcast

welcome to lawmen a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from days of yore i'm james shakeshaft and i am alistair beckett king and alistair yes this is a bit of an odd episode this time isn't it it's very weird because i'm not in it not at all it's not at all not even now even this isn't me no we've i've replaced you for this episode with two australians outrageous matt and dave from the do go on podcast and various other podcasts in their do go on network they're coming to the uk to do a tour and I thought I would give them a little pre-tour briefing on the folklore of the various places they're going to come and visit. Very thoughtful of you. Welcome to the podcast, Dave and Matt. Can I say your full names? You're not under any sort of witness

protection or anything, right? Yes, we are, but they are aliases, so it's fine. You can call me my full name, Matt Redacted, if you like. Yes, so we've got Matt Stewart and Dave Warnicker. I hope I've said that right, Matt. I like it. Well, it's not how I usually say it, but it's how I will say it now as my witness protection alias. So thank you so much. What is the actual pronunciation? Look, I say Warnakee. Warnakee.

But then a German exchange student that I went to uni with told me that it should be Warnakee. Oh, my God. Oh, right. That's it. That seems a bit much. Right. And then apparently it means caution corner,

like watch out for the corner. Didn't you just stub your toe in a corner this week? You're right. Actually, I did just break my toe this week by stubbing it on a corner. The prophecy has come true. I ignored that girl all those years ago. You are basically massive podcasters, right? Well, depends how basically you want to get.

We're basic podcasters, is how I say it. And stand-ups and, I mean, you've got to have a third threat. Is it dance? Is it acting? Singing? Chess. Chess. I'm actually terrible at that.

That was the first thing that came to mind. I'm so sorry to everyone that thinks I'm good at chess. I'm a great sleeper. That's true. You can sleep anywhere. I can sleep for a long time, like really well. Oh, that is actually something I'm genuinely a journalist of. Is it weird that i can't think of anything i'm good at no me neither i can eat quick and you can eat slow i can eat slow we're really yin and yang it's it's actually

we're horrible uh for us to go out for a meal together aren't we matt sits there for about two hours whilst i eat the same i don't know about you, but I find the time when you finish the meal to the time when you pay for the meal to be the worst time in the world for me. That's their responsibility now. I think maybe, I know this is a show about folklore, mainly English folklore, British folklore. Yeah. One of the best bits of Australian folklore involves a diner

and dasher in the 80s. Oh, true. Yeah. I don't know if you ever saw this video of a man who got done trying to run from paying a bill. No. You might know him as the succulent Chinese meal man. He was just trying to enjoy a succulent Chinese meal.

And I think, yeah, now this is right. I'd say maybe up there with, you know, the bun yips, Ned Kelly. That's right. Shane Warne. Shane Warne. Shane Warne and then the succulent Chinese meal man. Yeah. For people who aren't familiar, definitely do yourself a favour.

Next time you're on a computer computer go to youtube.com or .co.uk I've don't have any preference there you'll be redirected but yeah yeah yeah type in

succulent Chinese meal and watch probably the greatest Australian that's ever lived yeah makes me tear up watching it I've watched it a lot

he was just trying to enjoy a succulent Chinese meal and dine and dash and then he was arrested and a camera crew captured it all. Oh, wow. I think our national anthem is awful. And just the audio of that exchange, you know,

with a bit of a beat underneath it, I think I'd salute that. Have you got lyrics to your national anthem? Yes, written by a Scottish man. I don't think Australia wasn't even a federated country when he wrote it. And I don't think he'd ever been. Oh, really? That's great. The opening line, Australians all let us rejoice for we are one and free with golden soil.

And wealth for toil. Our home is girt by sea. Famous use of the word girt there. Wonderful use. In primary school, all the kids are like, what is that? What does it mean? It means surrounded by, I think. Yeah, surrounded by sea. Famous use of the word girt there. Wonderful use. In primary school, all the kids are like, what is that? What does it mean? It means surrounded by, I think. Yeah, surrounded by ocean.

Which is such a funny thing to put up right up top in things you're proud of in your patriotic song. Just be like, you are trailing off early. They're padding. Any landmass is ultimately surrounded by sea. Yeah, there wasn't a lot to write about back then, but that was pre-Dynan Dash. Yeah, that's right now.

Succulent Chinese meal. Evidently girt by camera crews. Yes, that's right. But you guys, you're not staying in Australia forever, are you? You're coming to the UK, right? We're coming, yeah, we're coming really soon. We're going to be there in November. 2022.

2022, you are correct. Oh, my God. You do the Gregorian calendar over there as well. Oh, yeah, big time. Greg's one of the biggest calendar people over here. Oh, I'm a big Greg guy as well. Dave's more of a Pret-a-Manger guy. Oh, yes.

To be honest, I love them both. I'm famous on our podcast for we've been to the UK together twice now, Matt, and I've never had a meal in the UK I didn't love. That's right. Oh, wonderful. Your food is the greatest. I reckon I'm running at about one in three. Is this purely Greg's?

No, all the Greg's are the winners. I've had- Yeah, Matt has three meals a day. One's Greg's and that's the good one. Yeah, I mean, I think if I told you where I was eating, you'd be like, yeah, of course, your meals have been awful. I think the worst one I had, and there's probably no surprises here, but it was at the airport hotel and it was a room service pizza.

And I think it included a full jar of oil in the middle of it. That means they liked you. Let me tell you that I ordered the same pizza in the room next door and I loved it. Absolutely loved it. Your cuisine is something about it. The baked potatoes, the pies, the sandwiches at the pharmacy, fantastic stuff.

Hey, you know what? We've got caramel over here now. I don't know if that's genuinely Australian, but the adverts are telling us it's Australian. I heard of it first when an English person sent me a picture and said, hey, we've got your chocolate. And I don't think I'd heard of it before that. That sounds like a ransom.

Yeah, they sent a letter with chopped out Cadbury's letters. Wait, you've got my favourite chocolate bar, haven't you? Isn't it called like the Saucy Nana or something like that? What's that one? That's one of my dance moves. I am. Do you know the one I mean? I'm trying to think.

It's a Cadbury's brand. Cadbury's Saucy Nana. It's maybe not saucy, like a brittle Nana. No. I'm trying to think of what you could mean. Saucy Nana. Gosh, that sounds. I'm trying to picture a box of Cadbury favourites.

I'm Googling it. I'm Googling it. I'm Googling it. Oh, it's a perky nana. Perky nana. The Cadbury's perky nana. What are you talking about? I think they've lied to you again. Oh, it's probably nana.

It's probably nana. I've never heard of this. It's a perky banana nougat. Oh, okay. Yep, yep, yep. It's on sale here in Australia. The perky nana. You're right. I've never heard of the perky nana. I love it. I. It's on sale here in Australia. The Perky Nana. You're right.

I've never heard of the Perky Nana. I love it. I love nanas. I love nanas. You love perkiness. Yeah, I love perkiness. You type in Perky Nana here and it auto-fills to Perky Nana lumps and you think that sounds dangerous.

Well, Dave, you've got to realise you are revealing more than you know because autocorrects personalise to your browser. Oh, and the king site, like the big version, is called the Mighty Perky Nana. Oh, that is. This might be, I mean, yeah, Australia is, you know, big-ish in terms of land anyway. I think London's got a similar population to the whole country,

but maybe it's, is this a Queenslander thinger thing or feels like a wa thing to me western australia yeah wa is like half the country it's one state yep yep and in um early sometime mid 1900s they had a vote to secede from the rest of austral that vote won. Oh. But the Queen just never ratified the decision. Oh, that's embarrassing. She never got around to rubber stamping. She never got around to it and then it's gone now. Yeah, that chance is gone. That opportunity is gone.

What if it's still sitting there dustily on Charles' desk? Maybe. We all know he's got a lot on his desk. I've seen the videos. He doesn't like clutter. He hates clutter. The man hates clutter. No.

But he hates to declutter himself. Yes. Yeah, he's got people for that. He's a king. Imagine if he was served a succulent Chinese meal. He would be too annoyed. Get this rice away. Get this pesky rice away.

But, so, guys, I thought I would give you a bit of a whistle-stop folklore tour for your tour that you're doing because you're coming, you're gigging in a bunch of places around the UK, right? Do you want to give me a rundown? We are starting in, and this is geographically not the way you should tour the UK. Tell us where we've gone wrong here. We're going flying into London, straight up, first show in Birmingham. Okay, I think this is going to be linear. i believe the next one will be south of that yeah

then we're heading to london then we will drive to glasgow okay drive yes oh i guess i've driven in australia and yes it's big there's not much in between but there's a there's too much traffic the first time we were in the uk we we were doing a 90-minute drive between venues and we stopped off at like a roadhouse on the side of the road for like a pub meal. Fantastic. I loved it. And we were told the public on the way out what we're doing

and they said, oh, we're driving to Manchester. And he said, what now? You're not going to stay here overnight. We've driven 40 minutes, James. You're going to need a bit of a lie down we have signs that say tiredness can kill so we drive from birmingham up to glasgow and then we drive back down to leeds so lots of time in the car yeah that's a one-on-one time between the two of us which is great fun then manchester okay that's not fun you'll go past the highest bit

of motorway in the uk highest Ooh. Highest above sea level. That is fantastic. Yeah. We'll need a lie down after that. Bring a hanky, you'll get a nosebleed. There's a bit where the motorway goes round a farm because the farmer wouldn't sell their land. Oh, I love that. Or something like that.

Oh, and there's no rule where they can just compulsory acquire it. Evidently not. And then from Mantis, we're driving over to Bristol. Oh, yeah. Brizle. The big bridge. What is it? The big suspension bridge.

The Clifton Suspension Bridge. Clifton Suspension Bridge, yes. We're very into that. Love that. By Isambard Kingdom Brunel. What a great name. And Cheesy Chips. Famous for Cheesy Chips in Bristol.

Am I right in saying that? I think, as far as I understand, that's quite a southern thing because I'm from near Oxford and we had chips, cheese, beans. Oh, I like that. That's your classic. That sounds great. Do you call that a CCB? Does anyone call it that?

No, just chips, cheese, beans, beans. I don't think you've saved any time. CCB, chips, cheese, beans. That was a very polite shutdown. No, we call it the chips, cheese, beans. Chips, cheese, beans. And we finally finished our tour with a big show in London. Oh, London's buzzing London district.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Are there any CCBs in London or is that exclusively near Oxford? No, I think it's, yeah, it's a more rural take because I guess you need the fat and the carb to just kind of keep you going outside of the urban and built up areas. They've got Brick Lane. Is lane is a brick line the curry strip yeah but manchester you got the curry mile in russia that's much bigger than a lane oh yeah and they've got neon signs it's like a sort of curried vegas it's wonderful say i love your country i love your cuisine love it Love it all. I've looked up Birmingham in my big books of folklore.

The Folklore Myths and Legends of Britain, which this is the absolute Bible. It's got such illustrations of that man with a sword. Wow. This is like a 1970s book. It's an absolute classic of British folklore. It doesn't have Birmingham in it. It doesn't have Birmingham in it at all.

Did Birmingham exist in the 70s? Birmingham, I'd say, is one of the most 70s places that exists. I was assuming there'd be a chapter on Aussie biting the head off a bat, at least. Yeah, that's right. You'd think. No, it runs straight from Bilston to Binchcombe. I mean, I don't need to tell you that.

Bilston gets a shout out, but Birmingham is skipped. I think Bilston's got a picture. Hand drawn. I'm sorry about that. Why is that? Is Birmingham, is that a relatively new city or something? It's an industrial age city. So for Britain, yeah, it is kind of new.

It's quite newfangled. It's from the 1800s. So we're not too sure. We'll see if it sticks. I mean, the only thing I could tell you about Birmingham, it's worth looking up the Telly Savalas. I know the name Telly Savalas, but I don't know what it means. Was he Kojak?

He was Kojak. Okay, that doesn't help. The guy with the lollipop. Okay, it's still not helpful. Okay. There's a film with 8.2 out of 10 on imdb that's huge yeah it's called telly servalis looks at birmingham i don't know if it's an art film it's just like a close-up of his face as he's shown pictures geez he's got a great name though and he's an he's an american man

i'm showing matt a picture a picture of tellyalas with the lollipop in mouth. Right. What a strong look. That's a great look. Tully Savalas, such a great name. I wonder why he was looking at Birmingham. For money, I'm guessing. Okay.

But moving up to Glasgow, I've got some stuff. Although it's in an industrial city, it does date back to the sixth century. Wow. Oh, this is something I love about English people. You say sixth, like sixth. Sixth. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. What do you say? Sixth. Sixth. I think I've been called out for before saying it wrong. How do I say it? Sixth. Yeah, that sounds right. I mean, I like it. I love these differences. I also love how you call, we call them bucks parties,

you call them stag do's. Oh, stag do's. What do you call a woman's one then? Hens. Is that still a hen, dude? Yeah, it's still a hen. We call it a woman's one. So the sixth century,

I don't know how I could say that any differently, genuinely. Their patron saint was a little lad called Kentigern. That was a normal name back then. Kentigern. Kentigern was his name. I don't know where the first name ends and the second one starts. It doesn't. That is his first name.

I don't know what his second name is. So he was cared for by St. Serf. S-E-R-F. So does it get pretty gibberish-y from here, James, normally? This is, I think that's the most amount of gibberish there is, and the rest is just weird leaps of logic. We can't call your culture gibberish. That's very rude, Matt.

I'm sorry. To be fair, it's to be fair it's accurate yeah so kentigern was taken under the wing of st surf uh along with a bunch of other sort of trainee saints and st surf really liked kentigern so he gave him a nickname mungo that sounds like someone who has who solves crimes, don't you think? Yeah. Who are you going to call? Mungo.

Mungo. Get Mungo on the line. It means dear friend. Okay. Mungo does. And fun fact, it's Hugh Grant's middle name. No. Well, it's Hugo John Mungo Grant.

Wow. I love that. Yeah, and that is going to get you through one of your pub quizzes that you'll no doubt be in in the UK. Oh, yes, we've got to experience a pub quiz over there. I've tried one before and honestly had no idea start to finish what was going on. Like, absolutely.

Brilliant. You're in. I could not. None of it made any sense. There was a lot of questions about Ollie Oaks. Oh, nice. Yeah. That's either the TV show Holly Oaks or Ollie Oaks,

the spirit of the woods. And I'm not sure. I'm still not sure which it was. No, neither are we. So unsurprisingly, all the other sort of kiddie saints were a little bit jealous that he'd got the nickname of Mungo, aka dear friend. As it says in this account of the story,

when a robin was accidentally killed, Mungo was blamed. Okay. I've got a feeling the other kids, I think they killed that robin on purpose. It's difficult to accidentally kill a bird. Yeah, especially a robin. They're small birds, right? Yeah. I feel like you could accidentally roll over in bed

and land on an eagle or something. They're big. But a robin, what are the odds that you'd fall on it or something? A friend of mine accidentally killed a bird with his air rifle and he put it under a rock and said the cat did it. Okay. The cat shot it. They've got no thumbs.

They can't, they can't aim. This sounds like a very similar story. Sounds like he might be Kentigern reincarnated. But what Mungo did is he took the bird in his hands and prayed over it and it came back to life. Whoa. Absolutely. Big time.

Big time God powers. Okay. Well, if that's a miracle, because once I was in a car with some friends and we accidentally ran over a bird. Did they blame you because you were the favorite they blame me yeah but we got out we're like uh because it was you know it was on the ground but twitching so like we've got to finish it off it's the humane thing so one of my friends oh so you backed up the car and had another go no one of my friends went and got a brick from a yard that he saw nearby and he stood over it and he's about to he's he lift up the brick and he's about to bring it down the bird hops up walks and then flies away oh wow that felt

a little bit miraculous that is either miraculous or it was making a bit of a meal of it the bird yeah it was like trying to get some sympathy laying it on a bit thick yeah he was hoping for a chip and then you pulled out a brick yeah like a you know a cliched soccer player footballer yeah adding a bit extra mayonnaise on top of the performance there yeah maybe that's what they should do it's like magic sponge or brick no i'm good i'm good yeah right actually i'll. I'll just run this broken leg off. I kind of always assumed it just flew away somewhere to die in peace, but maybe it kicked on. I don't know.

Tough love. Yeah, that's true. Stiff upper lip. That's a classic British thing. It's good to hear your friend didn't chase after it with a brick. No, no, come back. Come back. I'm doing the humane thing here.

Yeah, that's right. Come on. Accidentally caught and bricked to death a bird. But Mungo's prayed. He's brought it back to life. He has. That's not his only miracle. A queen lost a ring.

He evidently sent it back to her via salmon, in the mouth of a salmon. Oh, that is one of the funniest and best things I think I've ever heard. That is fantastic. That's made the coat of arms of Glasgow, because he's the patron saint of Glasgow, St Mungo. Wow. And there's a robin on the coat of arms and two salmons with little rings in their mouths.

No kidding. This is spectacular. I love that so much, because I was thinking this is a real come down as a miracle. You're like, oh, the queen lost a ring, and I thought you were going to say, oh, and he got her a new one, but sent it back virus smashed her in with a brick it was but you you did say a queen it was from those days when there was a lot of royal families

knocking around everyone was the queen mate that isn't the end of mungo's story and he features in the founding of glasgow cathedral so mungo went to visit a holy man called fergus and upon greeting him fergus died wow okay now it doesn't say here whether mungo had a brick but fergus remained dead oh right so maybe the life that he gave he'd given some life that he didn't have right to. Oh, yeah. Maybe he had to take it from the next person. A one-in-one-out policy. The reason Fergus died, there was actually a reason.

He'd been told he would die when he had seen someone who would convert the district to Christianity. And so evidently Mungo was that guy. I hope he got a bit of warning, though. He might have been like halfway through, you know, he might have been playing Monopoly I hope he got a bit of warning, though. He might have been halfway through. He might have been playing Monopoly with his family or something. Oh, my goodness. Got the doorbell.

Went up. Oh, it's Mungo. He's going to convert the... Dead. We're playing Monopoly, Fergus. Mungo, you've ruined another Christmas. If that was on the cards, you'd assume he had his affairs in order, at least. His Monopoly-based affairs.

That's right. You'd be silly to be starting such a long board game knowing that you know your death is going to signal a positive thing and so what mungo did is he popped fergus's body on a cart pulled by two wild bulls and he said wherever it stops that's where god wants him to be buried okay that's not the first time this has come up on our podcast. There was another story in Norwich where they popped a body on a car and were like, wherever this stops, bury him.

Yeah, I love that kind of belief. Like, as if God really wanted him to be buried in that spot, he'd just pick him up and float him over there, surely. Why is he putting his power through these bulls, these wild bulls in a car? Yeah, what if they just pull up to, like, the McDonald's drive-thru or something? Like, they're just going to start digging. Yeah, what if they just pull up to like the McDonald's drive-through or something?

Like they're just going to start digging. Yeah, that's what – and yeah, they did. And where they stopped is where Glasgow Cathedral is now. Oh, that's sick. Buried him there and that became the cathedral. I do love those kind of stories. That's fantastic. I'm keen to go to the cathedral.

Is it far from town? I've not looked. James, come on. Probably. What kind of tour guide are you being right now? Probably Uber it. Okay. James, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to jump in a cart, attach a couple of wild boars and see what happens. They'll take you where you need to be. That's right. Let God's will be done. I mean, that's your Glasgow hits, really. That's made me very excited.

That's good. And you're going to Manchester as well, right? Absolutely. Again, Manchester, it being a sort of modern industrial, 1800s industrial city, there's not that much specifically about the town. But if you get the chance, nearby in Bickerton in Cheshire, there is a cave on Bickerton Hill, which is known as Mad Allen's Hole.

Okay, we've got to go there. I'm glad we're recording this because I'm not taking notes. There's so many things I want to see. Mad Allen's Hole. But this has gone straight to the top of the list. And that's in Bickerton, did you say? I mean, you have me at Bickerton. But this has gone straight to the top of the list.

And that's in Bickerton, did she say? I mean, you have me in Bickerton. This was occupied by a hermit who shunned society after being prevented from marrying the woman he loved. He apparently lost his reason when both sets of parents objected to the marriage. Oh, wow. Not just the bride, the would-be bride. So Mad Alan's own parents said,

he is not good enough for your daughter. We called him Mad Alan for a reason. Alan, back in your hole. He moved into the cave and he says he lived in the cave for 70 years. Wow. So, he must have already been at least sort of almost 20. That's a good innings for a caveman. Yes, it is.

Back then as well. Yeah, that is. Back then as well. Yeah, that's great. I'll be happy to make it to that sort of level. The madness must have sustained him somehow. Well, that's Manchester or near Manchester. Did you explain why it's known as the hole? It's just a cave. It's just because it's a cave.

It's a cave. It's a hole in a hill. They probably didn't need any sort of, we didn't need to back over that. It's good to have an inquiring mind. I love a positive spin. Thanks so much, James. And why do they call it Mad Alan's Hole? Is it because Alan lived there?

Was he angry with the parents or is he crazy mad? To be honest, I don't know. He was well within his rights to be both. Yes. James, before we move on to the next one, can I just ask you quickly? Yes. There's, you know, the great English tradition of Devonshire tea, scones. Oh, go on.

Dave and I, I know this is like a tedious internet thing as well, but I'd love to finally get an English person's opinion on this. Mm-hmm. Okay. Jam then cream or cream then jam? For me, I go with the Cornish version. Damn it. Which is jam then cream.

Okay. Music to my ears, James. Absolutely. I regret asking. I presume you've talked about this before. You've got your reasoning. I'm presuming, Matt, you are inaccurately saying that the cream is a substitute for butter. Yeah. I think mainly, I just, I think I'd always heard of it as Devonshire tea. I just

thought, you know, you trust the people who came up with it to do it their way. I also think you just get that beautiful colour pop of the red jam off the cream. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And I like how you sort of dollop it on so you get like every bite is a different taste adventure. You know, you're on a journey there. Every bite is very inconsistent. I appreciate a lot of what you're saying, but it's fundamentally wrong. Thank you.

This is great. It's a Cornish cream tea to my mind. That's where I heard of it first. Okay. And, yeah, you use your jam because you want it to grip to the scone. That's right. It's a spread after all. Exactly.

Exactly. Thank you very much, David. I think of it more as a conserve. So, you know, I apologize, James. I couldn't tell you the difference between a conserve and a preserve. Oh, yeah. But those are definitely words. That's all I apologise, James. I couldn't tell you the difference between a conserve and a preserve. Oh, yeah. But those are definitely words. That's all I'll be able to know.

I don't know if I saw a preserve as another spread. Yeah, you've got a preserve, or it is preserve. I said it in a weird way. Yes, now that you say preserve, I'm thinking about it. It's like a lot of the things I'm saying, what I consider as normally will sound very peculiar to you. For instance, the word data. Data. Yeah, I think I say data, what I consider as normally, will sound very peculiar to you. For instance, the word data. Data.

Yeah. I think I say data, I guess. Yeah, data. And I think to you, data is like an art movement, right? Oh, with a D, dada. Yeah. Dada-ism. Dada-ism.

I see why you say data. I just can't bring myself to do it because it's the consistency, and I appreciate that. Right. But we're the land of Sean Bean. Oh, I did a – the first time we did a live Do Go On podcast in Edinburgh, probably in 2018 or something, I told the story of Sean Bean. If I'm thinking of the right – he's the cannibal family?

No, that's Sawney Bean. Okay. Sean Bean's the actor who I don't to be honest i've heard a lot of rumors about him um he was in golden eye 006 trevelyan oh okay so london london the big smoke. What a place. The capital city of England and the United Kingdom. That's one of the few, like a lot of capital cities, not the ones you'd think. Like in Australia, it's not Sydney, it's Canberra. Yes, that's a pub quiz. That's classic pub quiz territory.

It's not in America, it's not New York, it's Washington, D.C., stuff like that. Yes. Yeah, Washington Detective Comics. not in america it's not new york it's uh washington dc stuff like that yes yeah washington detective comics but is europe's more of a i guess because europe's a lot of older cities or something they it is does it tend to be more the biggest most famous city is the capital like is paris the capital of france yes yeah i guess so that's point. The newer ones, they seem to think like we're going to make it a capital. We don't want them getting distracted by fun stuff, so we'll just put it somewhere else.

Yeah. And then we'll put all the cool stuff in different cities. I think apparently in Australia, Melbourne and Sydney both wanted it and they couldn't decide, so they sort of picked a spot vaguely in between the two. Even though it's much closer to Sydney. Yeah, which is fair enough so i feel like they should have just given it to sydney if if if it's still up for grabs i reckon i'd just change it to sydney now what if perth won it though oh that's true take it away and having their own different country yeah what would their country

be called was it going to be a different country or just like a different i think it was going to be a different country and i guess that would have been the next vote new australia yeah that's better australia australia 2.0 oh but then you could rebrand as classic australia yes like zealand did and that that did really well right yeah so right i've got my other big book of folklore the law of the land i've got it open on the london page i could tell you a little bit about the tower of london oh i'd love to hear about it there's bunches of ghosts in there it's thick with ghosts you've got the princes in the tower the two little children that richard the third is supposed to oh yes and berlin she was beheaded there she was one of the henry the

eighth ones and there's a ghost of a bear oh's cool. An army man thought he saw a bear there once. Someone doing sort of a night watch. And do they think that the bear was killed within the tower? I guess they presume there must have been some sort of bear baiting or something. And what number of Henry's wives was that one? I think that was a mistress. Yeah, mistress bear. Unofficial.

Yeah, Baloo. Or did you have Rainbow over there no I don't think so no tell us about Rainbow Rainbow's it involved Zippy

it was like a puppet based thing so there was a human man and he was best friends I know Sooty it's a similar vibe to Sooty but much more

nightmarish okay the things were bigger Zippy was a quite a big puppet it was very loud mouthy yeah no more like that kind of thing upside for the human jeffrey uh downside for zippy he was so cool because he had a zip on his mouth so if you want to shut him up you zipped his mouth shut oh that is not marriage.

Zip it. And you literally would. And then there was another one. There was George, who was a pink hippopotamus, who was a bit more caring and he was a bit more of a sort of calming vibe.

Now, those two were like puppets, like quite big puppets, but hand puppets at the end of the day. And then there was Bungle. Bungle was a full-size man in a bear costume. Like End of the Shining sort of thing.

And you're thinking Bungle may be the ghost. It may be the ghost of Bungle. I really feel like this could be a new podcast where people from different countries and cultures describe kids' TV shows from their childhood. What are we talking about? Humphrey B. Bear? Humphrey B. Bear? Humphrey B. Bear.

Johnson and Friends? Is that an Aussie one? What was the B for in Humphrey B. Bear? Bear not been bear. Humphrey Bear Bear, you reckon? Yeah, that's. He didn't talk as well. That was a man in a suit or a person in a suit.

I guess we don't know if it was a man. We'll never know. But they would only be able to whisper to the human. That's how they communicated, I think. Like a sooty vibe. Yes. Oh, I might be confusing memories. And he didn't wear pants.

Yeah, same as Sooty, probably. None of these bears did, and I think they thought that we never noticed. Yeah. But we knew. We knew. So I've Googled Humphrey B. Bear. First question, why was Humphrey B. Bear cancelled? Oh, no.

Guess it's the trousers thing. Yeah, put on some pants, mate. What have you done, Humphrey B. Bear? I just want to know what the B stands for. He's a tall, shaggy, honey-loving bear. Terrible news. The B in Humphrey B. Bear does stand for bear. No. You're kidding. Humphrey Bear Bear. He's Humph, shaggy, honey-loving bear. Terrible news. The B in Humphrey Bear Bear does stand for bear. No.

You're kidding. Humphrey Bear Bear. He's Humphrey Bear Bear. What we tend to do on this podcast is we cast judgment on the tales. Fantastic. We have a few different categories, and you need to score them out of five. As I presented the story, I'm going to present the categories to you. So first up, naming.

Naming. We had some great names. So first up, naming. Naming. We had some great names. Tally Civellas, for example. Yes, from America. But yeah. I can't think of that guy's name, but it was like Kirk Scarve or something. Kentigern, aka St. Mungo. That's fantastic.

Yeah, I mean, it's hard to go past that. Mungo. Mungo, basically, for short. It's so funny. I've listened to a bunch of episodes recently, but I listen to them going to sleep, and I don't think I've ever got to this point. Your voice is so beautiful and relaxing.

Oh, you're one of the snore folk. You've got it. Is there a whole portion of the audience that are? Yeah, there's the law folk, and that's subdivided into other break- snore folk and chore folk who are the ones that do it when they can't hear it because they're hoovering mostly people define themselves by how they don't listen to the podcast have you ever had that feedback i've heard that on uh do go on if um certain people are listening while driving down the highway they can can only hear Dave and Jess. My voice is lost under the engine.

Matt speaks at the same tone that a car puts out. The anti-noise of a car. Yeah, a little bit. I think mine is in a similar register to an engine. So if anyone's cruising, you know, maybe driving from Leeds to Manchester or something like that, some normal drive that people would do. Or pulling over for the night in between. Yeah, of course.

They're going to just be hearing Dave talking to himself right now. With some long gaps in between. Just because you're really thinking about what you're about to say. Because you're really thinking about what you're about to say. I would advise you as your laureate to give me five for Mad Alan's hole. Oh, of course, Mad Alan. I forgot about Mad Alan. I should have been taking notes here. Which Mad Alan brought up more questions than answers

in the best possible way. I'm going to give a full five marks to the names. Now I understand what's happening. Just names in general we're giving a score to. Names that we've discussed on this episode. Supernatural. What do you reckon? Oh, well, the fact that a fish was able to swim some rings to a queen.

Like, the queen needs to be in the water for this to even be possible. You think the queen would need to be downstream? It was a salmon, which, and I guess that's the thing about them, they are the all-terrain. Oh, they can, you're right. They go upstream, they go up in the air, straight into a bear's mouth. There's no bears in England, apart from obviously

the ghost bear in the tower. And in rainbow. But supernatural, a bird was brought back to life. Oh, that's true. Doesn't get much more supernatural than that. It sounds like that's more common than I thought. Oh, that's true. Doesn't get much more supernatural than that. It sounds like that's more common than I thought. Yeah, that's right. You could threaten them back to life. And then what about the same man, Mungo, killed a man

and then converted everyone to Christianity? Despite being a murderer of sorts, he still managed to make everyone a Christian. Good lad. And also, I mean, the warthogs delivered a body to where God wanted them to. Wild bulls. Wild bulls.

Oh, wild bulls. Oh, yeah. Is that still supernatural enough for you now? You know what the bulls are, not warthogs? I didn't know England had wild bulls. Probably don't anymore. Neither did I. This was 1,800 years ago.

I don't know. They can say anything. They can say they had, like, Sky TV. All I know. I'm not doing the research, to be honest. Take them at their word. We had a bunch of ghosts. I'm thinking this is pretty supernatural.

Yeah. I want to do a ghost tour when I'm over there, Dave. Would you do it? I'd love to do that. James, you want to take us on a ghost tour? Well, you don't have to take us. You want to join us on a ghost tour? There'll be a ghost tour in Oxford if you want to come over to Oxford.

Is that in between two of the places we're driving? Given your route, yeah, probably. Yeah, because we are going all over. Is this the Oxford famous for the university? Yes. I imagine that's a beautiful town. It's very, very old. Yeah, full of supernatural stuff there.

Oh, it's thick with it. And what do you think about this, Matt? Out of five? I scored the last one. What do you think? Out of five, how supernatural? I still don't know if I fully understand the game, so I think maybe it's better if you do it.

But, I mean, my instinct is saying five again. I'm a very positive person. I would say you're right. Okay, fantastic. Five, absolutely. High five for that, yes. Yeah, yes, yes. And then normally we'd have a sort of bespoke category.

What about maddest character, Mad Alan? What a guy. Yes. I don't know. I think Mungo might have been even madder than Alan himself. I think Fergus might have been fuming as well, if we're going with that. He's the one who got killed to start Christianity?

Presumably midway through a Monopoly game, as far as we can tell. Honestly, I'd feel relieved. Oh, yeah, it's a long game. It is. It's too long. So for the madness of characters, technically we could have had some slightly at least angrier ones.

So I'd say it was probably a three. Yeah, I feel like Mad Alan really got me excited for the anger. Then everyone else is pretty. Level-headed, really. Yeah, pretty nice. Pretty chill. Which I liked. I liked their vibe.

Yeah. Yeah. Keep calm and carry on as you do. Stiff upper lip. Be more a George than a Zippy. Yeah. Beautifully said. So, well, thank you very much, chaps.

I'll pop a link to all your things in the description. link um to your all your things uh in the description and um yeah if you are in any of the areas nearby and remember these guys are prepared to drive for up to 90 minutes without a nap yeah that we are we're wild i wait till you tell we tell you about the flight over you're not you're not staying away you're not going to stay away from that. Oh, yeah. I'm flying the plane. I'll be awake. It's cheaper.

We're still in the air. Time has lost all meaning. I believe we've thrown through a vortex and are now in yesterday, like in the miniseries, The Langoliers The Langoliers I don't really know

how it's said This pilot's awesome Yeah I love him too So honest Well yeah best of luck on your trip over and yeah

check these guys out I'd say Thank you so much we'll see you in Oxford for the ghost tour Thanks so much for having us James You're welcome

you're very welcome thank you very much. We'll see you in Oxen for the ghost tour. Thanks so much for having us, James. You're welcome. You're very welcome. Thank you very much for coming on. So they're blooming lovely blokes, weren't they? You know, I was a little bit annoyed at being sidelined for a pair of Aussies, but actually, they're bloody good blokes, as they would say. They would say that.

Because they're Australian. Yeah, so if you want to go check them out go to do go on pod.com and there's links for their various tour dates in there and if you don't know if you want to do that i want to hear more episodes of their podcast that's also where you'll find them same place yeah so the tour is basically first half is them going to be doing like one of their podcast recordings. And then the second half, straight up hilarious stand-up. What more could you ask for?

It's like one of our live shows, except with jokes. Speaking of it being like one of our podcasts, I'm going to do the Bristol one. Representing the law boys. Representing the law boys. I'll bring my Alistair Beckett King puppet wait have I been a puppet all this time no I've got one

for I do various corporate appearances and pocket the money myself because I had to shell out for the puppet yeah yeah yeah

you're in hocks with that puppet for a while but once you've paid the puppet off it's all gravy yeah once I've paid the puppet off, it's all gravy. Yeah, once I've paid the puppet masters, the

John Huntsman creature laboratory. Is that a take on Jim Henson? Is that a knock-off Jim Henson? It's meant to be a knock-off, yeah. I love the Morpids. And Frigilrack. Tahini Street. But, I mean, none of that's going in.

No. No. Just edited it out, so what was the point?