Loremen Podcast - S4 Ep22: Loremen S4 Ep22 - The Ruskington Horror

Episode Date: November 24, 2022

As a special treat for our 150th episode, we only went and did a LIVE STREAM! It was quite the ride. Alasdair was ever-so tired, poor lamb. (Watch the whole thing here https://youtu.be/WEeaSbYjhUw) Despite the fatigue, Alasdair managed to frighten James with a celebrity* endorsed ghost story from the featureless fens of Lincolnshire. *Sure, it's Richard Madeley, but it still counts. He is on the telly. Loreboys nether say die! Check the sweet, sweet merch here... https://www.teepublic.com/stores/loremen-podcast?ref_id=24631 Support the Loremen here (and get stuff): patreon.com/loremenpod ko-fi.com/loremen @loremenpod www.instagram.com/loremenpod www.facebook.com/loremenpod

Welcome to Lawmen, a podcast about local legends and obscure curiosities from days of yore. I'm Alistair Beckett-King. And I'm James Shakeshaft. And this is our 150th episode spectacular. Yes, they said it shouldn't be done. But we did it. Yeah. With a party hat and two party poppers. Ooh, spoiler alert.

We did it on YouTube in a live stream. Yes, which the whole thing is up there if you want to see the whole shambles in its entirety. And it was a shambles actually, wasn't it? It really was. Let's not try and work out whose fault that was. That could have been down to anyone. I think this story has a pretty spicy ghost.

It's the Ruskington Horror. Well, welcome, law folk, to the 150th episode event. James, would you like to hear the story of a road ghost yes i would now you like road ghosts my favorite format of ghost what is it about a road ghost you like so much the main two is that like the hitchhiker and the uh can't think of a nicer way of saying it than the ghost hit and run. We're more in the second category here. Roads are, I find, quite spooky places. I think because I grew up in the countryside, so all the roads I know are country lanes.

I guess they didn't have roads there and they were sort of brought in as a frightening modern invention. Well, we're going, we don't need roads. A field. Actually, you would need a road. That's the one place you would be saying, can we have a road here, please? Just a little bit of road, please. Today's story is the Ruskington Horror. That's quite a good name, isn't it?

Yeah, it sounds like a baby's biscuit. Like a really bad one. Ruskington is not the town where rusks were invented. It's a place in Lincolnshire. The Ruskington Horror is a nine-part investigation that's been published in the Fortean Times by Dr, to you, James, Dr. Rob Gandhi. Wow. Which is not good advice,

because he only had that loincloth. So you actually... All you're going to get is some specs. Yep. Okay. So as an obligatory joke about that man's name aside, obviously Rob Gandhi is a living person. He's a health statistician. some specs. Yep. Okay. So that was an obligatory joke about that man's name aside. Obviously, Rob Gandhi is a living person. He's a health statistician and visiting professor at Liverpool Business School at Liverpool John Moores University, which sounds like it's got a typo

in its name, but I've checked, it's a real university. He's a lifelong Fortean, but he's not a paranormal expert. He's a collector of people's ghost stories. And he has collected together the tales of the road ghost, the Ruskington Horror. Now, this is crucial. Gandhi did not coin that name. The name was coined by, I think, a folklorist you will have heard of, James. Many of the listeners will have heard of this folklorist. Some of the Americans perhaps will not.

That person is television's Richard Madeley. Whoa. That's not what you were expecting, was it? No, not really. I know sometimes I say TV's this and that when it's somebody with the same name as a television celebrity from the UK. No, I'm not doing that. I'm talking about television's Richard Madeley from Richard and Judy.

Wow. From this morning with Richard and Judy. He's like sort of Noel Edmonds, but without a beard. Yeah, yes. Yeah, he is. But I think that's a little unfair on Judy because that casts Judy as his blobby, whereas I don't think she is. Oh, yeah, I did not intend for that.

No, no, no. But that also implies that Noel Edmonds is married to mr blobby that's true so do you want to explain who rich and judy are for anybody who has not heard of them because they're almost as legendary as noel and blobby they are a husband and wife presenting duo yeah who got big in the 90s and have just sort of rode it out. They've just ridden it out, yeah. Richard of Richard and Judy, he is Alan Partridge. He's Alan Partridge. And I don't think Steve Coogan has ever really acknowledged

the fact that Richard Madeley is Alan Partridge. There are online quizzes where you have to work out whether a quote is a Richard Madeley quote or an Alan Partridge quote, and it is very tricky to work out which is which. Unless it's about the Ruskington horror, I guess. So in 1998, someone called in to tell a terrifying tale about an incident on a road in Lincolnshire near Ruskington. And years later, Rob Gandhi had gone in contact with all the people who were telling stories and sought out more tales of road ghosts from yellow bellies. Are you familiar with the term yellow belly?

Is that an Americanism? Not as in coward. Okay. Just Richard Maynard going, come on, cowards. Tell me your stories. I've got a Rob Gandhi. No, Rob Gandhi was the one who sought out yellow bellies. But a yellow belly is a term for someone from Lincolnshire.

Oh. What's that got to do with Lincoln Green then? What's with all the colours in Lincoln? Great question. Well, according to visitlincoln.com, there are as many theories about the origin of this term as there are yellow bellies themselves. So I've checked.

That means there are 776,654 theories, which on the website they've only got about seven. So that was a lie. Good, good. That was a lie, visit Lincoln.com. The most likely one, to my mind, is that the Lincolnshire Regiment wore yellow waistcoats as part of their uniform.

Right. So that seems plausible. Or that Lincolnshire stagecoaches were painted yellow. That's another good theory. Another theory I'm quoting from the website here is that the rural deaneries in the Diocese of Lincoln used the name they had when they were Saxon woppen takes. I don't know how you say that word. The fen area was ello belly or ye ello belly oh meaning out of the boggy hole absolute nonsense because you don't say ye you say thee that is true that is true nobody

pronounced it ye so that's not true and the boggy hole sounds like where the thing that birthed blobby the blobby hole the least convincing theory i think is that lincolnshire's fen dwelling ancestors were susceptible to developing a yellow fungus on their stomachs in damp weather again this is from the website visit lincoln.com the people the people were covered in yellow clearly not true um another theory is that the residents suffered from a malaria-like illness, which turned their skin yellow. Again, visitlincoln.com is sharing this information. Revolting. So whatever the reason, that's why they call people from Lincolnshire yellow bellies.

And Rob Gandy got in touch and found several stories of road ghosts. The first of them is the story that kicked the whole thing off. It's Kevin Whelan's story from 1998. The one he told to the man himself, Richard Maidley, on This Morning with Richard and Judy. In January 1998,

Kevlar, Kev Whelan, Kevin Kevlar Whelan, that's what his friends, me and James, call him. Yep, yep, yep. Keep wheeling, wheeling. Kevlar, the Kevster, was driving home to Sleaford. It was about two o'clock in the morning. And as he was approaching the turnoff to Ruskington, he saw something white up ahead.

Now, James, you drive. I don't know how to drive. You see something white. You might think it's a plastic bag in a tree or car headlights or an owl. Yeah? Probably an owl. Probably an owl. I'd like to think it was an owl. Exactly. He didn't think anything of it. But as he drew closer, it appeared larger and larger. Classic perspective. That's it. If you want a podcast to explain the passage of time or perspective, this is it.

But it was in the middle of the road, and it appeared to be like a glowing light pointing towards him, and above that light, a floating face. Oh. It was Greek-looking with dark hair and olive skin. Okay. And it was so clear he could make out the teeth and pitted skin of the face.

And the nationality. And the nationality, which is that he was Greek. And it held up his left hand, which probably had some souvlaki in it, we don't know, as a warning to go no further.

Now, this lasted for about 40 seconds, apparently, before Kevin's car went down into a dip and the spectre disappeared. In his own words, after that,

he bombed it home. Nice one, Kevlar. A classic Kevlar. Kevlar! Keep wheeling, wheeling. Because of his surname. Brilliant. Yep, yep, yep. His surname was wheeling for people who weren't paying attention. So that was the first appearance of the Roskington Horror. There have been many more.

Mm-hmm. Christina Lee tells the story that her father used to tell. He was stationed at Royal Air Force Cranwell. Is her dad Christopher Lee? I can only assume so. Because he was also in the Air Force. Yeah?

Was he stationed at Royal Air Force Cranwell? I don't know that well. Let's just assume he was Christopher Lee. So he was stationed at Stone's Throw from Ruskington and the same stretch of road that we were talking about before. One night, he and four of his airman pals took a shortcut across the fields back to base, rather than walk

the long way round. You know, lads. Fly guys. But they get the job done, James. I don't actually know when this happened. I don't know if this happened during the Second World War when these people were risking life and limb, or whether it happened in peacetime when they were living it up on our taxpaying dollars.

I don't know. So I don't know how to feel towards them, warmly or resentful. All of a sudden, a pale ghostly figure descended. Descended, James. Presumably appearing to get larger as it did. Yep, yep, yep. And it held out a hand in a warning gesture. Well, our brave boys in their flying machines were not brave enough to keep going so they turned tail and headed back

towards the road which they decided was the safer path after all. Less ghosts. Apparently Christina's father always wondered what might have happened

if they'd gone further over the marshy ground. Did the ghost save them from something? In both cases the ghost seems to be trying to communicate a warning of some kind.

That's ghost number two. Yeah. Or second encounter with same ghost if you prefer. Ghost number one part two. Yeah. Now for part trois. Tres. kind that's ghost number two yeah or second encounter with same ghost if you prefer ghost number one part two yeah now for part trois trez the female taxi driver there must be other female taxi drivers but this is one of them it's 2003 it's the spring a taxi driver is passing the

turn off to rustington having just dropped off a fare in sleaford so i didn't expect you to gasp at sleaford there well it was the same place that you'd said earlier. It's the same place. This is all literally the same place. It's kind of the premise of the podcast, actually, James. Oh, yeah. They're always about the same place. I'll try to get over it.

Yeah. So, Sleaford. It's about 1am and a figure ran out in front of her car. And she saw the figure turn to look at her through the windscreen or windshield to our American cousins. Thank you. Mouth wide open as if screaming, but no sound came out. Fwoom!

Car went straight through. And she didn't feel any kind of impact, but she was sure she had to have hit whatever it was that she saw. So she stopped and looked about, couldn't find anything, couldn't find anyone. In a state of absolute terror, she phoned into her office, who then called the police.

The police came out, nothing could be found. She was so shook up, James, she couldn't drive back. She had to get a lift home in the police car and she quit her job the very next day. Oh. So that's why there aren't more female taxi drivers, probably.

Yeah, because of this ghost this time. Because of a sexist ghost. It was like, stop being a taxi driver. Shame. Yeah. There can't be any more examples, surely. I have yet one more. What? I have one more ghost for you, or one more encounter with the same ghost.

Part quatre. Cinq, no. Cinq, no. Un, deux, trois. Quatre. Quatre. Four. Four.

No, cinco, no, un, dos, tres, cuatro. Cuatro, cuatro. Four. Charlie Connolly, author, broadcaster, pedestrian, had a very strange encounter in Lincolnshire in 2007. He was researching his book, And Did Those Feet? Walking Through 2,000 Years of British and Irish History. Of course, the title is referencing Jerusalem, the William Blake poem. And did those feet in ancient times...

The answer is no. They were Jesus's feet, weren't they? Question is, did Jesus come to England? The answer is no. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, he didn't come to England. His uncle Joseph brought him here. What was I saying?

Ah, yes. So he was following in the footsteps, quite literally, of King Harold's march from Stamford Bridge to Hastings. And he found himself on the A15. Well, James, the A15 is the very road we have been talking about, upon which the Ruskington Horror makes itself known. He's on the way to your friend of mine, Sleaford. Calm yourself, please.

to your friend of mine, Sleaford. Calm yourself, please. Now, he had miscalculated how long the walk was going to take. So he found himself unintentionally walking. At the end of the day, sun was going down. He was still on the side of the road. You can imagine it. Cars passing.

What are you doing? Yeah. The lights flickering. Who. What are you doing? Yeah. The lights flickering. Who do you think you are? King Harold or baby Jesus? Yeah. The locals all covered in yellow mould, spilling out through the windows of their vehicles as they pass.

With their yellow stinking bellies. Luminous yellow spores coming off them as they talk. So just normal Lincolnshire stuff. And then after a while, things got quiet. I want to say eerily quiet. Yeah. He noticed all the traffic had vanished, but he wasn't completely alone because up ahead,

he saw a couple walking towards him. They were walking in the middle of the road, dressed quite unremarkably, although a little lightly for the time of year. The woman had a coat over her arm, apparently. He said hello to them. They said nothing in reply, so possibly Londoners. They passed him and he thought to himself,

oh, maybe their car has broken down up the road and they're going for help. Well, I better turn around and tell them that there's no help in that direction because I've been walking for ages and there's absolutely nothing. And he turned around to call after them like a good old bloke like a

blooming good bloke yeah i mean great guy blooming great guy good bloke i'm guessing they were still there they were not there actually gasps yeah as he turned around there was absolutely no one there and he knew there were no roads for them to have gone down no paths no buildings there wasn't a house for miles explain that uh fell in the bush there were no bushes probably it's lincolnshire it's flat oh it is famously very famously flat i suppose they could have gone into a bog but both of them but even then james he began to ask himself as he walked on why was the woman carrying her jacket over her arm on a chilly October evening? Why hadn't their breath fogged as it came out of their mouth as Charlie's breath had fogged? Why were they walking in the middle of the road? Why did the traffic stop at that moment?

Yes. And crucially, it was only when he got in touch with Rob Gandhi, shouldn't do that, you only got a long cloth. It was only when he got in touch with Rob Gandy that he came to realise that his mysterious time slip had occurred slap bang in the middle of the Ruskington Horror focal point. Oh. He didn't even know that that area was haunted when this happened, James.

Oh, my word. But did he think they were Greek? There was no evidence of them being Greek, although just a smell of sort of ouzo wafted over to him, perhaps. He could hear the sound of plates being smashed and other national stereotypes of Greece. Yes. Because I know all of them.

I don't just know three things about Greece. They were knocking up some Doric columns. Yes, they were. Inventing voting? Yeah, absolutely. Democracy. The two people, they were initially a voting yeah absolutely democracy being they the two people they were a series of initially a series of city states togas togas there you go of course well actually a togas roman the romans won too but did romans wear them because greeks wore them because

every time a greek came into school wearing some new bit of like no fear gear next day all the roman kids dressed the same yeah yeah yeah but with knives because they like fighting yeah my favorite uh formation of romans was the turtle where they all get under their shields oh yeah just just just chill it's just all the lads together under a shield we can make a den let's just crouch down the war's over for us so that's uh that's a fair whack of ghosts for you there. That is. But there are many, many explanations for why this area is so spooked up, James.

Go on. First possibility is High Woman. Right. These were busy roads, and back into old 18th century, they were thick with highwaymen. Local places are nicknamed things like Hangman's Haunt and Hangman's Hollow in the Ruskington region.

Those names do not appear on any maps, but the locals will use them, apparently. To just confuse people. To confuse people. They'll say, first of all, take your jacket off, put it over your arm, off you go. There you go. Keep going until you see Hangman's Hollow. Which is the kind of place I imagine a hangman would be gibbeted near

to the site of their crimes to deter would-be robbers. I guess, would it be easier or more difficult to hang or gibbet someone over a hollow? Probably easier. Yeah. You don't need to build your gibbet as high because the ground's lower. Build them on the ground, then push them over the gibbet instead of hoisting. Yeah. Time's over.

Yeah, easy. Little suggestion for you there, Lincolnshire? That said, even though we were talking about a dip in the ground, of hoisting yeah time's over yeah easy little suggestion for you there lincolnshire that said even though we were talking about a dip in the ground lincolnshire if it's famous for one thing it's being green but the second thing it's being flat we're talking about fens here so james i'm showing you a picture of dunstan pillar which is a very very tall construction it's it's on land i emphasize that it's been built on land what do you think it is is it one of them things that they make bullets in what they made bullets in in the past

how did they make bullets to a shot like so to make spherical bits of lead so right at the top they melt lead and drip it down and and at the bottom would be water, and it got to a certain speed that it would turn into a sphere. A perfect sphere, because nature loves a sphere. And is that how they made bullets? That's gorgeous. I think I've heard it, and I've never dared look it up on the internet,

because it's too nice a story. But I'm guessing that's not what they did in there. No, because otherwise I would have heard about it. Yes. It's a lighthouse. It's an inland lighthouse oh there's no water there's no water but the area is so flat and the the bogs and the fens are so dangerous that to help people guide themselves they built an inland lighthouse to prevent high womanism and to protect travellers. It was built in 1751. So perhaps the Ruskington Horror is the spirit of a hanged high woman

or indeed a high woman's victim. Or the ghost of a light. Or the ghost of a dead lighthouse. The next possible explanation for why there would be general spooky business in this area is that the knights templar were involved oh the knights temple i'm shaking my head because these rascals are always up to generally spooky business there is one there are so few knights templar ruins in the united kingdom but lincolnshire has got one of them,

and it's called Temple Brewer Preceptory. Temple Brewer what now? Preceptory. It's... TBP? TBP, Temple Brewer Preceptory. Wow. It's a 13th century tower,

which was once part of the Knights Templar church, or preceptory. And I think it's still there. The inside of the preceptory is covered with you know it strange symbols oh no and i don't have any evidence but i'm pretty confident that the monks were up to all kinds of spooky stuff you know like in films so let's just get really ken russell-y kind of business in there is that why they were called the knights templar because they made a lot of temples i I think Templar, yes.

I'm going to say yes. They're just busy, busy templing. Yeah, they loved to temple. Because it's like Kevin Kevlar temple. Templar, Templar, Templar. They were just absolute legends. Nice. So during the This Morning investigation,

that is the investigation, the folkloric investigation carried out by the television program This Morning with Richard and Judy in 1998. Not when you did your research. Not when I did my research, no. You cheeky rascal. They spoke to

the psychic Shirley Wallace. If friend of the show, Lady Wallace, was irritating, psychic Shirley Wallace is... Well, here's why I'm annoyed. She said it was ley lines. Oh, ley lines. French for the lines, as we both remember.

French for the lines. She said, okay, she said that ley lines crossed under the area causing a vortex or doorway to other worlds to open up. It's just

that, isn't that? No, it's not. Right. A doorway to Greece. The other world was

Greece. And the guy going, no, no thank you. He was saying, watch out,

it's Greece. Careful. Greece ahead. So watch out, there's a little bit of Greece on the road. You go,

it's all right, there's actually quite good towers. Oh said, watch out, there's a little bit of Greece on the road. You go, it's all right. These are actually quite good towers. Oh, no. I'm in the Acropolis. I've misunderstood the meaning. So, wait a minute. The sidekick,

Shirley Wallace, did she have to differentiate herself from the standard Shirley Wallace? I think you have misheard me. Psychic, not sidekick.

Like mental powers. Psychic. Not loyal sidekicks, Shirley Wallace. So she claimed that a number of spirits were bound to the earth there. And perhaps we might draw the inference that they were responsible for the sightings. She did a cleansing ritual at that time to help the spirits move on. Thanks, Shirley. But it obviously didn't work because the ghosts are still happening.

So, you know, well done. Well done for being a liar, I think.irley i got i went a bit farther i just don't like what i don't like their lines but she's bringing down the good name of sidekick shirley wallace and standard shirley wallace third possible explanation is witches yeah probably of course there's loads and loads of witches um Both of the callers to the This Morning show told tales of general witchery in the area. I have to add a quick

sidebar here. An article from Folklore by Ethel H. Rudkin about Lincolnshire witches gathers together local beliefs about how you sort of catch and deal with your witches. There's a local saying, which is that the witches there are as black as the devil's nutting bag.

Whoa. You heard me. We know the devil loves nutting. The devil loves nutting. Especially on a Sunday. And now we know what colour his nutting bag is. Ever so dark. So an example of a witch in the area being captured comes from bayard's leap

which you can find this story in friend of the show law of the land oh lovely bayard was the name of a blind white horse who well it was sort of picked to uh to play his part in ridding the area of a troublesome witch i'm not sure it was a voluntary thing i feel like he was somewhat press ganged into this basically they placed old meg which was the witch's name uh it was a voluntary thing i feel like he was somewhat press ganged into this basically they placed old meg which was the witch's name it's a classic witch name as in meg's tea room old meg was popped up on by the white horse's back and either grazed on the arm or stabbed to death we don't know which it sounds like they'd already caught the witch well but it's like an exorcism if whatever the witch version of an exorcism is right i see to rob her of her powers

they gave her a little graze on the arm or a little stabbing to death we don't know which a lot of grazes in internally a lot of grazing right into the middle of your body during the grazing slash stabbing we don't know, she dug her witchy talons into Bayard, the horse, causing him to leap high, high into the air. And when it landed, it made deep, deep hoof impressions,

which could be seen for many, many years. And the area is now marked with a set of horse shows to show where they put an end to Old Meg. A set of horse shows? They put a set of horse shoes. Oh, I thought they did like a song and dance number or something. And now sidekick Shirley Wallace.

All right, everyone in the chat thinks I said horse shows instead of horse shoes. So based on that, I'm going to do a quick retake of that line. Yep. Yep. Yep. So Bayard leapt in the air and that, and,

and when he landed, uh, he made, I'm doing it much worse this time around. When he landed, he left, when he landed, he left deep impressions in the ground.

And that area is now marked with a set of horse shoes to show where they put an end to the witch. Hmm. They should put it like a little show on with horses. Stop saying horseshoes. All right, stop. Everyone in the chat, stop saying you did. I'm not saying I didn't. You're just saying it again.

I'm not on trial here. I wasn't arguing. This isn't a horse trial or as alistair calls them horse trials if i had genuinely believed i hadn't said it wrong i wouldn't have done a retake would i the chat so think about that why don't you think about that before you attack an innocent man he's gonna huff off i He's going to huff off. I'm so tired. You've confused me. Okay. Now, Rob Gandhi doesn't think the witch explanation is a valid explanation.

But you have to admit that Bayard's Leap is very, very close to the focal point of the Ruskington Horror's, I want to say, attacks. The Ruskington Horror's appearances. And so, inevitably, people associate it with witches. A couple more explanations to go. It could be the ghost of people from a disappeared village. According to Lincolnshire Life, there are over 130 deserted medieval villages

in the county of Lincolnshire. Is this still selling? They're still trying to sell the place? Come and see 130 deserted medieval villages. the county of Lincolnshire. Is this still selling? This is still trying to sell the place? Come and see 130 deserted medieval villages. Come to Lincoln. These people didn't want to be there. One of the deserted villages in Lincolnshire is called Dunsby, or Cold Dunsby.

If you enjoyed that place name, other nearby place names include Ashby-de-la-Londe. Oh. Heckington-Fenn. fen oh that's an exclamation strubby strubby strubby strubby british comedy fans will recognize boothby graffo oh that's where that is yeah that's where the comedian boothby graffo takes his name from mannequin oh yeah m a double n a k i n which is like a name for a witch i think like a witch's little poppet mannequin comedian Caboose B. Graffaut takes his name from. Mannequin. Oh. Yeah, M-A-N-N-A-K-I-N, which is like a name for a witch, I think.

Like a witch's little poppet. Mannequin. Hello, Mannequin. It's the name for a thing in a shop that they put the clothes on. Yeah, but spookier. Thompson's Bottom. Hey.

Sot's Hole. Wasp's Nest. And, of course, Martin. They abandoned Martin. Not all of those places are abandoned. Those are just other other nearby place names i'm guessing wasp's nest is i would hope so obvious reasons but the locals there have spent so much time chewing up paper to build their little houses

but someone just left a pot of jam on the outskirts of the town the next morning they're all gone the remnants of cold dunsby are 0.2 miles away from the Ruskington turnoff. So basically, slap bang in the same place. Most people think that the Black Death is usually the cause of the abandonment of these villages. Basically, everybody died. But it might not have been the case for Cold Dunsby.

Did they get yellow tummy? It wasn't caused by the general revolting state of linkage in people's tummies. It was caused by Lord Cary, who evicted the last remaining occupants of Cold Dunsby in the mid to late 16th century so that sheep could move in to be farmed. Oh, okay.

You know, for farming purposes, not just taking their jobs. They weren't there with their removal vans sort of looking... I mean, they would look sheepish no matter what. Can't help themselves. But we don't know. Perhaps there is a plague pit where the cold Dunsbians relatives ended up before that happened. Who knows? Although the family who took over from the Carey family in that area

were called the Death family. So that's quite spooky. Just a spooky name there. Yeah. I don't think that's a very good explanation. I'm going to finish on Rob Gandhi's preferred explanation for the general mysteries of the Ruskington Horror, that the sights, the spectres, the visions,

the hallucinations are caused by the land itself. So Rob Gandhi's hypothesis is that the landscape is the culprit. This area is so flat, so featureless, apart from the occasional lighthouse or night Templar preceptory, that when driving it it you could enter into a sort of trance brought on by monotony. Essentially this argument is that the area is so

boring that your mind invents a ghost because you're in Lincolnshire. Wow. And it's like I'm sick of how flat and boring this place is. What if a Greek man was here? Oh my goodness! Saying no, wait. He's like that's a greek swear word what are the worst swears not that bad okay it's what a greek might say if you tried to

go into him with your car in the area we're talking about there's a sharp turning in the road and it has reflective signs designed to alert drivers to slow down because there's a little turning in the road and And basically, Rob Gandhi's theory is that the brain is sort of in a trance and then it spots the light. The switch from the trance-like state to the hyper alert state, the brain interprets the danger and it conjures up the image of the person running out into the middle of the road or the ghost. And then when there's nothing there, they go, oh, well, you know, it definitely was a ghost then because I didn't hit anything. And probably Greek.

It just felt like a sort of Greek moment when I went through that thing. But Rob is open-minded enough that he leaves open the possibility that the seductive tedium and monotony of Lincolnshire allows people to enter a hyper-aware state in which they actually do see the ghosts that are really there. Wow. Like when people go in those sensory deprivation tanks. And they start to see Greek people, yeah. And they're like, there's a Greek guy in this tank with me. That's weird. So Lincolnshire is a sensory deprivation tank. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah. It's actually quite good for you. Not your tummy, though. Oh, no, no. Saying it too long and your tummy goes all mouldy. Oh, disgusting. So that is the story of the Ruskington Horror and its many possible explanations. That is absolutely terrifying. Are you ready to score? I'm ready to score you. Oh, okay. All right. I'm a little bit nervous. First category. Go on. Are you ready to dispense some scores?

Yes, absolutely. My first category for you is supernatural. Ooh, yeah. Big time ghosts. Yeah. So many. You could say there were four ghostly incidents. Well, there were four stories, but there's more than four. There's four ghosts, but there's also a witch.

Well, there's five ghosts because one of the ghost stories featured a pair of ghosts. Yes. So from those four stories... Four stories. You've got five ghosts. Five individual ghosts. We've got Hanged High Woman. We've got the Knight Templar.

We've got Ley Lines. Ley Lines. We've got horse shows with all the entertainment value they bring. Yes. So, supernatural. Massively. Come on. Massively. Come on. Massively.

It's got to be a five. I've talked myself round. Thank you. There's no way around it. It's a five. I agree. Absolutely. Second category.

Category part deux. Naming. Well. Rob Gandhi. Don't. Leave him alone. Thompson's Bottom. Thompson's Bottom.

Wasp Nest. If you give this anything less than five, I'm going to be like, oh, Hackington Fen. That's unreasonable. Wasp Nest. If you give us anything less than five, I'm going to be like, oh, Hackington Fen, that's unreasonable. Martin. Oh, Kevlar. Kevlar. Kevlar Whelan.

Kevlar, the Templars. Wasp's Nest, which is how I would pronounce what's next during this recording, where I'm really quite tired and struggling to say things. So, James, what's next? I can't even say it. I just say, I fail to say wasp's nest then it's got to be a five it's a hot five it's a hot five for names there's so many names and they were almost

all wonderful yellow and yellow bellies we didn't even mention yellow bellies we didn't even mention the yellow bellies the yellow bellies um people are assuming that rob gandy's name is spelt differently to how it's actually spelled g-a-n-d-y-Y, not G-H-A-N-D-I. Bob Gandhi would be fine. That seems more playful, but to Rob Gandhi, it just seems cruel. Are you going bobbing for Gandhis, James? It's like you biting Gandhi's bald head. Yeah, the trick is to suck.

Oh, wow. And then you get to keep the glasses. Is that how you bob for apples? You have to suck the apple out instead of biting it? I've not actually ever done it. I've literally just come up with that life hack right there. Wow, we actually saw the genesis of a life hack. I'm going to try it out. I'm going to get a load of Gandhi and apples and see if I can do it.

Wow, that's incredible. My next category for you is explanations, because there were five of them. There were five of them. And I like to win. Yes, yes, you do. Yeah. Yes. What do you mean by the word but?

You definitely said that one of them made you angry it did make me angry because you hated it so much i because i hate ley lines yes you hate ley lines just like just a normal boy who hates ley lines is that because you were burned with the dowsing rods yes i was burned with dowsing rods not like in a as a child i wasn't branded with dowsing rods. I just... I've told you my dowsing rod story, right? In a previous episode. Yeah.

I can't give you five. I cannot give you five. Why? Four why? Because you discounted one of them. Yeah, I did. Your very own self. So it's going to be four.

I angrily accept the four. Good. And now it's time for the final category yeah aka chat agree the suggested by the law folk in the category and i can't remember what it's called it's the bridget madley one what was it you could you couldn't you couldn't made leader okay i'll say i'll say it i'll do it with a flourish it'll be great file category and this one is the chat agree from the law folk in the chat the law the law folk in the chat the law folk in the chat. The law folk in the chat. The show folk in the chat.

Final category. You couldn't madelead up. Oh, lovely. A.k.a. Lie lines. Nice. Or nay lines. Good category titles suggested from the chat.

You couldn't madelead up. You couldn't make up a floating Greek man. I don't think you would make it up. You wouldn't make it up, even if you could make it up. If you were inventing a ghost, you wouldn't add, also, he was Greek. No, he's of the time as well, because he's from the late 90s, and he's going, talk to the hand. If it had been a decade earlier, he might have been voguing. Or wearing a T-shirt saying, I'm with stupid.

I'm with the stupider ghost. My next thing that I'm going to do, as soon as this livestream ends, is look up all the footage of richard madeley talking about this very subject yeah this the very idea of richard madeley really doing an investigation into this the very idea of richard madeley full stop is a bit much i think it's got to be five out of five five out of five for you couldn't made later it couldn't be a better crossover than madely and a field report who's his agent you want to get madely on he's probably a little bit harder to get than cantrell yeah that's true i think avenger deer suggests a

contemporary greek ghost might be dabbing yes and i did that which is which is not dabbing. That is not dabbing. That's swearing the oath of ghost allegiance. What is dabbing? Can you do dabbing for me to show me what it is? I believe it was that one. Isn't that what I did? There. Is that it? No.

Your other hand. No, get your hand off your chest. The hand does not need to go on the chest at all. What? That hand goes off into the background. No. Well, thanks very much for coming, law folk. Oh, wait.

People are getting the word score. I think, did we forget to score that category? Some people are saying that you gave it a five. I'll just prompt you to give me a score. So do you have a number for you couldn't make Lear up? I said it wrong. I said it wrong. Do you have a number for you couldn't made Lear up?

Yes, I give it the number Horse Shows. Ah, damn you! I mean five. Now it has to stay in the edit. Now it has to stay in. Mwah! Alistair, there's a bit of the recording that i cut out yes james from the episode but i think i'm just gonna play it now um all right did i say noel edmonds or mr blobby i meant to say

mr blobby so i just say no edmonds you said no i said no edmonds people in the chat if i say the wrong words correct me so i think i think you'll find I actually managed to record your own petard. But I shouldn't make my mistakes in a recorded and live-streamed medium. That was my error here, wasn't it? That was one of the errors, yeah. Well, for more mistakes like that, sign up to patreon.com forward slash lawmanpod and you'll get to hear all the outtakes and extra bits that we couldn't cram into episodes. Too incoherent for TV.

Too incoherent for podcasts. When did they discover or invent Elastic? Great question. Great question, James. No one knows. Let's throw it to the chat um anyone knows when they went to the last elastic when did they think i like string i like rubber can we get these two together a really stretchy string because it is going to make children's halloween masks way more manageable i think the exact changeover from the creepy victorian masks

that are just a sack with a demon's face on it to the cool plastic ones. Elastic, that's the secret. With a demon's face on it. With a demon's face on it. But it's not as scary. No, no. But yeah, I guess at some point someone went,

I like this string. I want it longer, but not all the time. Bethan Briggs Miller suggests the 1940s for elastic. I don't know if that's based on any information is it one of them is it like radar it was helped by war we've got facts here but based on the confidence of the capitalization the first elastic bands made from vulcanized rubber were patented on march 17th 1845 by stephen perry of mrs perry and co oh nice so there you go perry and co 1845 for elastic bands we've also got someone saying after jesus times thanks ropes of sand it was after jesus times wasn't it yeah

because otherwise you'd be able to explain away quite a lot of his miracles do you think who's using elastic for those miracles lazarus so he went down and twonged. Yeah, just poinged him. Just poinged him around the place. Fair enough, yeah. Yeah, yeah.