Lovett or Leave It - All Quiet on the Western Omelet

Episode Date: October 12, 2024

This week, Kamala talks to Howard Stern, Trump talks to himself, and the Supreme Court talks in circles. Representative Sydney Kamlager-Dove watches Congress like a hawk. Mark Duplass and Zainab Johns...on surf the chopping waters of the internet, and we steer Kamala Harris’s ship to our favorite pop culture ports. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast. Support disaster relief efforts for Hurricane Helene & Milton votesaveamerica.com/heleneHelp elect climate champions votesaveamerica.com/climate/

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello Los Angeles. Welcome to Love It or Leave It. We are 19 days away from Halloween, which means we are 20 days away from a Last Night Was Fun text from someone named Hot Beetlejuice, parentheses, tall in your phone. Tonight on the show, Congresswoman Sydney Kappeliger Dove stops by to talk about life on Capitol Hell. Zaynab Johnson is back and Mark Duplass is here to get caught in the World Wide Web. World Wide Web? Is that how it is?
Starting point is 00:00:39 Wide World Web. World Wide Web? That sucks. Oh, like World Wide Web. World Wide Web? That sucks. Oh, like World Wide Web. Then we wrap it all up with a spin of a wheel. What wheel? We'll see. But first, let's get into it. What a week. Yeah, that's right.
Starting point is 00:00:59 Kamala Harris's media blitz continues. On Tuesday, she sat down for an interview with Howard Stern. To kick it off, she made Tim Walz write a Sibian. And trust me, it got weird. I am only telling you that joke because when I saw it, I had to Google Sibian. Which I realized too late is not some kind of mythological horse. Harris also discussed her love of Formula One racing, special case serial, and going to see you two at the Sphere. Oh my God, have you been to the Sphere? I'm troubled by it.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Well, let me just say basically, everyone should go in with a clear head. You mean don't be high. Correct. Right. You can take the woman out of the prosecutor's office. Seeing you two at the Sphere sober couldn't be me. It makes me anxious just thinking about it. This is the biggest man-made object on earth in which a human being can experience claustrophobia.
Starting point is 00:02:00 What is the Sphere? Halfway through the interview, Stern told Harris that she had his vote. I don't even understand how this election is close. And yes, I'm voting for you, but I would also vote for that wall over there. Rather than a guy who says he doesn't support Ukraine, wouldn't get on that stage with you and say I saw Ukraine this is what and why do my fellow Americans want this kind of chaos overseas if you would have told me eight years ago that Howard Stern would vote for Kamala Harris
Starting point is 00:02:34 because of Ukraine I would have said listen to me I'm not the original love it I'm also from the future like you I was trying to stop Trump but then I honked at 17 year old Phineas crossing the street so now the Barbie movie didn't happen and then I tried to tell Nancy Pelosi to tell Hillary to go to Wisconsin, but all she did was pump me for info on high cap stocks. But there's still time to stop Trump. There's still time to stop him from being elected. All we have to do is, ah, my heart, no.
Starting point is 00:02:56 Tell my mother I got her a magnet on my trip. All right. Then on Wednesday night, Harris cracked open a Miller High Life with Stephen Colbert. But elections I think are won on vibes because one of the old saws is they just want somebody they can have a beer with. So would you like to have a beer with me so I can tell people what that's like? Okay, the last time I had beer was at a baseball game with Doug. Okay, so cheers.
Starting point is 00:03:23 There you go. Cheers. There you go. The Okay, cheers. There you go. There you go. The champagne and beers. The champagne and beers. There you go. Doug wasn't allowed to have any beer though, it gives him the zoomies. The last time I had a beer was at a normal time.
Starting point is 00:03:44 The normal classic beer time. Later in the interview, when asked about Trump's 2020 election loss, Harris said this. You lost manufacturing, you lost automotive plants, you lost the election. What does that make you? A loser. This is what when somebody at my rally said, I thought it was funny. It's accurate. It's accurate. This is what happens somebody at my rally said, I thought it was funny. It's accurate.
Starting point is 00:04:05 It's accurate. This is what happens when I drink beer. Same. When I have two sips of beer, I always start down my list of talking points. Just goofy. She's goofy. That's part of it.
Starting point is 00:04:21 She's goofy and we love her. And that's part of it. Meanwhile, when asked on The View if she would have done anything differently from Biden over the last few years, she replied, There is not a thing that comes to mind. After pausing for a moment, Harris said, I would maybe have handed the ice cream cone to a staffer before answering the Gaza question. Then after another beat, Kamala added,
Starting point is 00:04:40 I also would have adopted one or two more untrainable killing dogs. Louisiana Senator John Kennedy this week attacked Kamala Harris for daring to speak the word tampons at a time like this. The last couple of days the vice president goes on some show called call her daddy or call your daddy or who's your daddy or something. Call me daddy. I like who's your daddy better. Um, and, and, and among other things, she's talking about, uh, about, about tampons. You know, the people in Appalachia right now, they'll give a function about tampons.
Starting point is 00:05:22 Just don't forget women are women and men are people. It's part of the worldview. But also give him a break. He's from a generation of men who were taught to treat tampons like they were radioactive, but in a gay way. Like they come with period blood already on them. I think even now, if we still treat tampons like they're illicit, if men needed tampons, there'd be tampons everywhere.
Starting point is 00:05:42 There'd also be blood everywhere. It would be a real mess, honestly. So it's probably for the best that they don't, like they're illicit. If men needed tampons, there'd be tampons everywhere. There'd also be blood everywhere. It would be a real mess, honestly, so it's probably for the best that they don't, except for trans men who are trained as women, so they're fine. Anyway, Jews invented hurricanes. Or did they?
Starting point is 00:05:56 That's right. This week, Marjorie Taylor Greene continued to spread the conspiracy theory that hurricanes are actually being directed by Democrats and or Jews Which is ridiculous. It's climate change and not a conspiracy causing this next super storm Hurricane Tova Feldstein. Oh, no Right on the heels of hurricane slo-mo
Starting point is 00:06:23 Can you believe the weather we're having? President Biden denounced MTG's dangerous delusions to the press. Now the claims are getting even more bizarre. Congressman Marjorie Taylor Greene, a congressman from Georgia, is now saying the federal government is literally controlling the weather. We're controlling the weather. It's beyond ridiculous. It's beyond ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:06:45 It's gotta stop. In moments like this, there are no red or blue states. Yes, in our climate change future, there are no red states and blue states. There will only be dry states and wet states, and eventually fire states and flood states, and then finally, just Michigan. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis took a moment to denounce conspiracy theories.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Be careful about the nonsense that gets circulated and just know that the more titillating it is the more likely somebody is making money off of it and they don't really give a damn about the well-being and safety of the people that are actually in the eye of this storm. Out of the governor, this applies to hurricane-related posts only woke liberal math teachers are trying to turn your children trans for pedophile reasons. DeSantis' words were carefully chosen to leave room for interpretation, specifically the interpretation that he's still a prick, because DeSantis' spokesperson Christine Puchat warned against online mince information while continuing to disparage actual news
Starting point is 00:07:44 outlets, writing, If you wouldn't believe a New York Times story based solely on anonymous sources, and I wouldn't, you shouldn't believe engagement-based posts like these that make outlandish claims without evidence. Yeah, man, totally. The New York Times reporting on your disaster of a campaign and Patriot 69 posting an AI-rendered image of Donald Trump putting sandbags around a church are the same thing. You can't trust the times, you can't trust the tweets, you can only trust me, Christine Pasha, a professional liar.
Starting point is 00:08:10 Pasha. That's a cool name. Meanwhile... LAUGHTER Meanwhile, according to a new book by Bob Woodward that comes out next week, Donald Trump secretly sent Russian President Vladimir Putin a supply of COVID tests for his personal use in 2020 as the U.S. struggled with a test shortage. Interesting. So Trump's love language is GIFs. Putin told Trump to keep quiet, saying,
Starting point is 00:08:39 This is real. I don't want you to tell anybody because people will get mad at you, not me. Weird. That's exactly what I told Tommy the one time we kissed, I mean, didn't kiss. Leave this in. Trump has also reportedly kept in touch with Putin after leaving the White House, in one instance ordering an aide away from his Mar-a-Lago office in early 2024
Starting point is 00:09:02 so that he could talk to him on the phone. And yet you hang up first. Overall, it was a week of non-stop bizarre Trump ramblings. Here's the former president at a rally in Scranton, Pennsylvania on Wednesday, imagining one of his supporters blowing up in a car accident. They want to go now hydrogen. They want a hydrogen car. You know what the problem is? When they blow up, you are unrecognizable. If this beautiful young woman is in the car driving, and the hydrogen car, if it blows
Starting point is 00:09:32 up, you are unrecognizable. You have a nice pink side. Stand up, let me see. Oh, I like her. I like her. I like her. I will not allow her to go into a hydrogen car. The race is tied. Can I get in the car? I'd like to get in the car.
Starting point is 00:09:58 While visiting the Detroit Economic Club, Donald Trump had this to say about the price of consumer goods. The word grocery, it's sort of a simple word, but it sort of means like everything you eat. The stomach is speaking. It always does. And I have more complaints about that bacon. He sounds like an unprepared best man giving a speech at a grocery store's wedding.
Starting point is 00:10:23 Trump issued this threat about his opponent. Our whole country will end up being like Detroit if she's your president. He's in Detroit. Everywhere we'll have horrible pizza. We'll constantly have to pay homage to Motown, which we admire, but it doesn't have to be your thing. I was talking about Motown. Trump had this to say about California. In California you have brownouts and blackouts every week.
Starting point is 00:10:51 And blackouts, I mean the place is stone-cold, broke, no electricity. So you have blackouts, brownouts all the time. What an asshole. He has no idea what living in California is like. no idea what living in California is like. All right. For those listening at home, the studio lights went out. Also in Detroit, Trump recalled the life advice he gave his children. No drugs, no alcohol, no cigarettes.
Starting point is 00:11:24 And they'd go out and Ivanka would say, dead, stop telling me that. I said, I'm going to tell it to you every time I see you. I'm going to drive you wild with it. There will now be a one hour intermission so that we can all go home and take a shower. Now we're going to play a game called the six degrees of Trump family cocaine and we'll all name the people we know who have done cocaine with those children. Anybody want to go first? Meanwhile Trump will hold a rally in Coachella this Saturday for reasons that remain politically
Starting point is 00:12:09 unclear. I hope he plays hot to go. Ahara's campaign spokesperson said, Oh no, this is extremely concerning for our campaign. Please do not go to Coachella, California, 24 days before the election. Whatever gay guy they have peddling the generator on that catty bitch machine. We salute you. Meanwhile, Trump supporters are not just getting scammed
Starting point is 00:12:35 by his rallies, some are reporting high dollar scams on true social as grifters run rampant on Trump's social media platform. Amazingly, this is not about the $100,000 watches Trump is selling, or the crypto trading cards Trump is selling, or the Bibles Trump is selling. According to FTC complaints obtained by Gizmodo, elderly truth social users have fallen victim to grifters
Starting point is 00:12:54 losing tens of thousands of dollars before realizing they're scammed. As a Donald Trump supporter, you've marked yourself as scammable. You're on the Paris subway asking people in English how to get to Notre Dame, and you're pronouncing it Notre Dame. You're taking out your wallet to buy a fake Prada bag in Italy,
Starting point is 00:13:08 and your euros are all just falling on the ground. Said one elderly victim, I'm ruined, I'm ruined to think I was once the mayor of New York. During oral arguments on Tuesday, the Supreme Court seemed likely to uphold a Biden administration rule that requires background checks, serial numbers, and sale records for ghost guns. But no ruling as of yet on the ability to purchase... BOO-lits.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Spooky. Chief Justice Roberts seemed skeptical of manufacturers' arguments that they shouldn't have to comply with gun regulations because ghost guns are usually assembled at home and marketed to hobbyists. Justice Samuel Alito, on the other hand, questioned whether ghost gun kits fall under the legal definition of a firearm, asking, and this is real, whether eggs, chopped ham, peppers, and onions would be considered a Western omelet.
Starting point is 00:14:02 When the lawyer representing gun owners and gun makers said no, because those ingredients could be used to make other things, Justice Amy Coney Barrett asked a follow-up, which is again real, would your answer change if you ordered it from HelloFresh and you got a kit and it was like turkey chili, but all of the ingredients are in the kit? As it happens, HelloFresh has a sister company that sells ghost gun kits called GoodbyeFresh.
Starting point is 00:14:24 These kits are about exploiting the loophole. a sister company that sells ghost gun kits called Good Buy Fresh. These kits are about exploiting the loophole. It's obviously a loophole. Everybody knows it's a loophole. It's like building a latte in the Starbucks app instead of paying full price for the latte. I don't care what you call it, I'm drinking a latte and they can try to close that loophole but somebody's going to get shot. Speaking of situations that have gotten out of hand, a woman in Washington state called the police last week when she was unable to get into her home because there were about 100 raccoons outside demanding food.
Starting point is 00:14:56 Soon after, two squad cars arrived, but sure enough, they were just full of more raccoons. The woman told authorities that she'd started feeding raccoons about 35 years ago, and had no issues until six weeks ago, when the raccoon population exploded. Also, by the way, she's lying. Just admit it, lady, the problem didn't suddenly emerge slowly day by day, week by week, year by year. You raised a raccoon army.
Starting point is 00:15:20 You're embarrassed that it now has gotten to the point where you need help, but that didn't happen in the last six weeks. You've been feeding raccoons for 35 years. The problem is not sudden, it's a problem, and you're right to call the authorities, but it didn't sneak up on you. This reminds me of when on Hoarders, a show that I used to watch secretly. The doctor would go into a house with shoulder-high garbage and a cat skeleton under a rotten jack-o'-lantern, and the doctor would ask the person what happened, and the hoarder would say,
Starting point is 00:15:47 it's been a really busy spring. And finally, Ethel Kennedy, wife of the late Robert F. Kennedy and mother to R.F.K. Jr., died at the age of 96. When reached for comment, R.F.K. Jr. expressed sadness that she did not live long enough to see him become president. Then he signed, fired up his trusty chainsaw, and said, Now let's get decapitating.
Starting point is 00:16:08 In other news, an old woman's skeleton has been found in Central Park? What the fuck? Damn it. Is that you, Ethel? All right. Up next, a member of Congress is here. All right, we'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere.
Starting point is 00:16:34 There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. Please welcome to the stage, LA's own representative Sydney Comley or Dove. And we're back! Please welcome to the stage, LA's own representative Sydney Commalier-Duff. Hi. Right here is great. Right here is great. Welcome.
Starting point is 00:16:56 Thank you. I'm stressed. Why? I don't know. New crowd, new crowd. Oh, they're harmless. Okay. They're-
Starting point is 00:17:04 Only because I can't see them. This is, this crowd. Oh, they're harmless. Okay. Only cause I can't see them. This is, this is a good, this is the resistance. Okay, I love it, I love it, I love it. Woo! I would say, actually say, this is the resistance, parentheses, white section. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:17:21 Yeah, I got that, yeah, I got that, I got that. I just don't wanna, yeah, it's a big, it's a big tent. Big difference, yeah. Big tent, big tent. Yeah, I know,. Yeah, I got that. I got that. I just don't want to... Um, yeah. It's a big... It's a big tent. Big difference, yeah. Big tent. Big tent. Congressman, you sent us a veritable Lipton's factory worth of scalding hot congressional behind-the-scenes tea. Hot tea. And so we're going to use that to process the actual harrowing reality of this election in a segment we're calling... Kongos is in session. Sure. Ooh, I like thatos is in session. Sure.
Starting point is 00:17:45 Ooh, I like that. Yeah, fine, fine. All right. Pack a haul. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, Kongos. We're getting a pedi. You know, I've never had a pedi, Kira.
Starting point is 00:17:54 A pedi, a mani pedi. I've never had a mani or a pedi. You never. Now, as the electioneers, our tension's getting higher in Congress between Trump supporters and the more normal amongst you. What's it been like watching the MAGA virus take over in the House? It's been insane.
Starting point is 00:18:08 I mean, we have seen fisticuffs happen. A toupee was almost released from the head. Um, there has been, and that was just to elect the speaker that they wanted. And then we've had Chip Roy actually say on the microphone, Republicans have nothing to run on. We have done absolutely nothing. Amen, Colonel Sanders. We have spent weeks fighting for the rights of stoves and refrigerators and dishwashers, and we don't spend any time fighting for the rights of young women, young boys, public education. I don't know, like, has your refrigerator called 911 recently?
Starting point is 00:18:52 No. Yeah, mine neither. It does, it's, although I think it now can. I don't know why people... Hey, cats! Maybe 988, if you call 988. And I don't know why we want the fridges to get smarter. I feel like it's like, OK, my fridge can connect to the internet, but can't you just focus on making ice? Like, that was what you were good at.
Starting point is 00:19:11 Yeah, that's what I was saying. Yeah, mine grumbles. Mine grumbles, too. Yeah, mine's grumbling, too. And it's like when IHOP's like, no, no, no, we're a burger restaurant. It's like, really? Because other people, you need to do burgers, too?
Starting point is 00:19:21 Leave burgers to other people. You're pancake people. My fridge makes ice. It doesn't need to talk to the toaster. That might be true. That might be true. So you know, I will say in my natural resources committee, I went in for a hearing, true story,
Starting point is 00:19:32 and we ended up having a discussion on mining for asteroids in outer space. Now I don't know if this is a real issue for anyone else, but rather than talking about climate change, we were talking about asteroids. Oh, yeah. No, I don't know. That's interesting to me.
Starting point is 00:19:54 Like, I don't think the hearing, I don't think, I think you're right. Like, we should focus probably on the boiling of the oceans. Correct. Because by the time we figure out how to get the like, tungsten out of the, you know, place between Mars and Jupiter that has a name that I can't remember, it'll be too late. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:14 They were trying to sell asteroid rights to Shell and, you know, Chevron. It was really that kind of a thing. Oh, of course. Of course. What's the Kuiper belt? That's further away. It's not important. There's the, I think it's just called the asteroid belt.
Starting point is 00:20:29 Does it have, just the asteroid belt, just the belt of asteroids. The Kuiper, the Cooper, Kuiper, Q, I think it's like K-U-I-P-E-R, but I think it's pronounced Kuiper, further away. We're never getting those things. We'll be long dead. We'll be long dead.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Long dead before we get the good stuff out of that, you know? Correct. Do you have any Republican colleagues that kind of let their hair down behind the scenes? Well, I took the toupee off. Yeah, other than that. That are like, I'm sorry, I gotta go out there and say the dumbest shit, but I hate this fucking guy. Oh, we have. So when they threw Kevin McCarthy off the plank and we had to go through this three-week process to elect Mike Johnson, we would go to events and Republicans would come up to me
Starting point is 00:21:13 and say, I just wish all of those Freedom Caucus people would get on a submarine. I wish they would just go far away. Was this during the time when the submarines were going like this? I know. Or just general? It kind of was. I see. It kind of was. So they would come.
Starting point is 00:21:29 I said, you know, don't cry for me. Do something. I mean, these are my people. I've already told them that blank, blank. Yeah. It's like, you ever, like, it's really uncomfortable if you're ever at, like, another family's function, and then they are fighting.
Starting point is 00:21:44 And then someone pulls you aside and you can you believe my aunt and it's like don't do that. Don't do that. That reflects poorly on both of you. Yeah, your aunt sucks. But you suck for talking to me about it. Correct. Like you should talk to your aunt.
Starting point is 00:21:56 You should talk to your aunt. Leave me out of this. Leave me out of this. So we have that constantly. Oh, I can't believe this is happening. Oh, I just, I wish you would do something but I know you can't. And I would say yes, so why don't you do something? Well, I can't believe this is happening. Oh, I just, I wish you would do something, but I know you can't. And I would say, yes, so why don't you do something?
Starting point is 00:22:08 Well, I can't either. Okay, then shut up. STFU, yeah. Yeah, yeah, which is an acronym. Do you? It is. On the other hand, so the Republicans who are behind the scenes are like, I'm sorry about my friend,
Starting point is 00:22:21 and then there's the friend. Yeah. How do you work with somebody like Clay Higgins who posts something as vile as this? So I'm not going to read it, but this was a, just as, I don't know, textbook racism, I think you would just like buy the book, hitting all the racism marks,
Starting point is 00:22:41 hitting every branch of the racism tree on the way to the ground, you know? So my blood is activating right now. the racism marks hitting every branch of the racism tree on the way to the ground, you know? So my blood is activating right now. It was about the Haitian immigrants in Ohio. It was despicable. So we have a member of Congress from Florida, Sheila Sherfliss McCormick, who is Haitian. And this, he posted this, we gathered on the floor, members of the Black Caucus, our chair,
Starting point is 00:23:05 Steve Horsford with Sheila, and some of us went to him, I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, because he does have an accent, so he was saying that. I guess I got into your feelings. So we had, yes, I can't, I don't know what I can say, because I wanna say. Whatever you want. Because I want to say motherfucker, you know?
Starting point is 00:23:28 You know what that motherfucker is? That's the motherfucker of a safe district. Okay, thank you. Oh my God. Nice. So he was doing all this and we said, take this down. And then Byron Donalds found his black self and he went to Clay Higgins and said something
Starting point is 00:23:51 and a couple of other people said something. We tried to ask for a minute on the floor to talk about it. Of course, the speaker wouldn't let that happen. We had to finish voting. And then afterwards we had to gavel down and then gavel back in. It's all procedural and Mike Johnson said well he we all prayed in the back and he took it down so we don't need to talk about it but you said what you said
Starting point is 00:24:14 so we had to confront him and then he was walking around the floor afterwards I guess I guess I heard somebody's feelings. He kept saying that and it was like, you know you should come to my house. You should come to my house after six o'clock and I can share with you all my feelings. It's really disturbing and the cousins, the friends, say oh I'm not that kind of Republican.
Starting point is 00:24:44 I would never say that. But they don't stand up and sanction that person or call that person out or check that person. You know where I come from, if you do something wrong, you get checked. You get checked by the people who love you because they're wanting you to be better. So find a backbone.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Yeah, find a backbone. It's a bummer. It's a bummer. Let's get it off the screen. Okay, let's get it off. Get off the screen. How jacked is Marjorie Taylor Greene in real life, and is Lauren Boebert taking her life in her hands in this feud?
Starting point is 00:25:13 How who-hut? How jacked is Marjorie Taylor Greene? She is jacked, so I am so... I am so curious. I say this every time I see her, and one day I will tell her, what is going on with your split ends? Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 00:25:29 Oh! Oh! Wow. And why all the spray tan? But I don't, I keep it to myself, you know. A safe district. But she's really jacked. She is jacked, and she's a petite thing,
Starting point is 00:25:42 and she's always surrounded by her people, and she's incredibly oblivious and she's always surrounded by her people and she's incredibly oblivious to the real world, yes. And Lauren Boebert is in my Natural Resources Committee, so when you first start your committee, you have to vote on the rules, how the committee is gonna behave. And so she introduced this rule that said
Starting point is 00:26:03 we can bring guns and grenades to our natural resources committee. Grenades? Grenade explosives. To the natural resources committee? Correct, correct. And so they voted to pass that. I raised my hand, I said, I'm sorry, do I really want to be on this committee?
Starting point is 00:26:21 Is there a precedent for why we should be bringing explosives to the committee? Well, can you get them in the... Oh my goodness. And so now we can bring guns and grenades and everything to natural resources. I'm so sick of these salmon. Boom! You know. Right. It's like, what? Right. I mean, it is a way to get at deeper veins of ore. I know. I know. So she's a little out to lunch.
Starting point is 00:26:48 She's kind of, you know, recalibrated since she had to switch districts. And then there was the Beetlejuice thing and hubba da hubba da hubba da. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think we're getting enough buses for the 2028 Olympics or should I work from home? I'm worried about it. You should be worried about it. The worried about it. Don't worry, there'll be buses. There'll be buses. How many buses? I would, uh, yeah, don't wait on the buses. Okay. Get the scooters, get the scooters, watch on TV. Is it dispiriting being part of the least productive Congress in a hundred years? Don't you loveiriting being part of the least productive Congress in 100 years?
Starting point is 00:27:25 Don't you love that? We have been the least productive since 1859 when the union was dissolving. It is horrible. We passed 77 bills. We have passed 77 bills this legislative session. Half of them were on these refrigerators and stoves and appliances.
Starting point is 00:27:42 So when you go home, you tell your appliances that Congress is working for them. It's very dispiriting. And we had to pass a resolution to continue to fund the government four times. You should only be doing that once a year. Right, or properly many times. You know what I'm saying, right?
Starting point is 00:28:00 Sort of a reauthorization for like five years so you can focus on everything else. Yes. But you're not really doing anything. No, we're watching people fight on the floor and then reading allegations in the paper that end up in the ethics committee. Yeah, we're doing all fun things in high school.
Starting point is 00:28:16 It'd probably be better if Democrats took back the House. We are gonna be taking back the House in November. Yeah. Yeah. And finally, you were attacked by a hawk while visiting Los Angeles. Yes, in Silver Lake, outside of my district, so it was not an angry constituent.
Starting point is 00:28:32 But I was out and about running errands, and I thought there was a mean child playing dodge ball with my head. And I got out of the car, and boom, and I thought, who is this and boom and I thought this is this child you know let me get them and a bird flew above me and I thought oh that bird's in trouble there's a bad child and then at the bird came at me again kind of close out though okay yeah aggressive aggressive appearance over
Starting point is 00:29:02 lake and then I realized that it was a hawk coming for me. And I was like, I've been voting for all of this shit to protect you. And get a life. And so I run up the wrong stairs and I call the person I was coming to see and I was like, I know I'm not in the right place, but I don't know how to get to you.
Starting point is 00:29:23 And there's a hawk. And she said, put the phone down and run, run as fast as you can. And I was like, what is going on? So I did, I dropped everything and ran down the stairs, I put my purse on my head and I was screaming, I looked like, like tippy-head when it was for real. And the bird was chasing me to the front of the street.
Starting point is 00:29:44 And then I finally get in my, the place and she said, oh yeah, oh yeah, that hawk is bad news. Do you, do you think that was your friend being nice and suggesting that it wasn't something you did, that it's a hawk that menaces other people? Or do you think there was something specific about you that drew the attention of the hawk? Well, I was like, you know, black lives matter. Right. that drew the attention of the hawk? Well, I was like, you know, Black Lives Matter. Right, so, yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:30:07 I found out the hawk was a mother, a recent mother, and they thought that she was protecting her babies, and she had attacked other people in the neighborhood. She scratched, you know, a neighbor's face and had hit someone else, so she was a very aggressive mother. So I was grateful that she just grazed me. She was like, ooh, too much hair.
Starting point is 00:30:31 I don't know what's going on. I don't know what happened, but I was scared. I didn't have PTSD. I had to go back to that person and I was like, I don't know if I can come back. I need to take medication. She was like, oh no, the bird's gone. Well, we talked to a animal specialist.
Starting point is 00:30:44 You said the only way to cure PTSD from a hawk attack is immersion therapy. Bring in, bring in the hawks. Congresswoman, what, so we're in the fight to take back the House, in the fight to keep the Senate, we're in the fight to elect Kamala Harris. How you feeling? I am feeling hopeful. I am feeling hopeful. I am less hopeful about the Senate, but I am very hopeful about Congress.
Starting point is 00:31:13 And I'm very hopeful about the White House. I think as long as we all continue to talk to each other, and not just like-minded people, but to everyone, and tell them what is at stake, and everything is at stake. Every single thing is at stake. If she is not elected, the next president, whoever is the next president,
Starting point is 00:31:36 will be nominating three new people to the Supreme Court. The next person has the responsibility of protecting government and the person who was in the White House before has already shown us a manifesto that wants to get rid of most of government and we can't afford that. Yeah, yeah I think he's terrible. I think he's honestly I think he's just terrible. I have a question for, I think he's just terrible. I know. I have a question for you.
Starting point is 00:32:08 OK, tell me. You had up questions all night. I know, but I have another one. You have a real? OK, come on. This is my last question. OK, OK. Which is, what's a great restaurant
Starting point is 00:32:14 to try in your district? Oh my god, so many. Well, John and Vinny's has come to town, so I love that John and Vinny's has moved south. Ooh, Sunday gravy is super great. Sunday gravy, I want to try Sunday gravy. Oh my god, you gotta go, you gotta go, you gotta go. Oh my god, the lemon pasta's amazing.
Starting point is 00:32:30 I love lemon pasta. Ooh, is this salad just good? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ms. Lala's super great if you like Mediterranean. Okay. I got so many for you. All right, thank you. Summerville is opening up, that's Easter Ray's new place.
Starting point is 00:32:40 Ooh. I like celebrities, What can I say? We all do. It's Los Angeles. Yeah, yeah. Do you want anything else? Alta Adams. They have great cocktails. Nice. You know when people say a place has great cocktails, sometimes I'm like, okay. No, no, they're good. Delicious pizzas there. There's New York pizza.
Starting point is 00:33:00 All right. Let's calm down. I'm just... We're having a nice time. Let's not ruin it by saying things we'll regret. Congresswoman Kamala Khurdav, thank you so much. You come back, Zadep Johnson and Mark Duflox. And we're back. The internet. Can't live with it, can't take a dump without it. Yes, I've seen a doctor. And yes, what? And yes, I saw that doctor dancing to Addison Rae's Diet Pepsi on TikTok.
Starting point is 00:33:34 Here to give a thumbs up or a thumbs down to the most deranged parts of the algorithm this week, please welcome Mark Duplass and Zanev Johnson. Come on out. Oh. Hi, everybody. Come on out. Oh, hi everybody. Come on out. Where do you want me? Wherever you want. Come on in. Come on in. Here's great. Does it matter where we sit? No, it doesn't.
Starting point is 00:33:51 It does. You're in the wrong seat. Well, I'm here now. You're in the wrong seat. I told you they'd be up on us, right? Yeah, you didn't say they were going to be this up on us. No, it is. It's an intimate venue.
Starting point is 00:33:59 It's an intimate venue. Like a person currently neck deep and quick to the point where they're like, oh, I'm going to be in the wrong seat. I'm going to be in the wrong seat. I'm going to be in the wrong seat. I'm going to be in the wrong seat. I'm going to be in the wrong seat. I'm going to be in the wrong seat. I'm going to be in the wrong seat. I'm going to be in the wrong seat. I told you they'd be up on us, right? Yeah, but you didn't say they'd be this up on us. No, it is. It's an intimate venue. It's an intimate venue.
Starting point is 00:34:08 Like a person currently neck deep in quicksand might have a hard time posting a Yelp review of their jungle tour, so too am I struggling to assess how bizarre social media has gotten of late. Mark and Zaynab, I'm gonna tell you about the most painfully online subject matter recently trending on God's own internet. For each one, I'm gonna assign each of you a pro or con,
Starting point is 00:34:24 and you will do your best to defend or rebuke that trending topic. In a segment we're calling, For Whom the Hell Scrolls? (*bell dings*) (*audience laughs*) What is he doing there? I don't know. (*audience laughs*)
Starting point is 00:34:38 I don't know, because it's his internet now. He's in the middle of his robotaxi event right now. He's in a robot of his RoboTaxi event right now. He's in a RoboTaxi event right now? What's a RoboTaxi? He's selling RoboTaxis now? Oh yeah, he's selling RoboTaxis. All of you guys are going home in a RoboTaxi tonight. You get a RoboTaxi and you get a RoboTaxi and you get a RoboTaxi.
Starting point is 00:34:58 You know, I have such a visceral outrage when I see either the Waymo cars moving now around LA or the little robots that carry the food from the restaurants. And it's not, it's like, it's that I hate the idea of having to like acknowledge their existence because of their physical, the inability for me to ignore the fact that they take up physical space in the universe. They're like, if I'm walking on a sidewalk, no matter what, I want to keep going straight through the robot, but I can't because it is there.
Starting point is 00:35:34 Have you ever tried? The robot will go around you. Yes, but you gotta, I'm, yes, but I'm moving too fast for these little, these little monsters. Here's the thing, you do have an option, though, when the robot is crossing the street and you're turning right in your car. You technically can go through the robot at that moment, if you would like to. Yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:35:55 But you know those things are just little. I'm also haunted by every Black Mirror episode, where it's like the robot, the picture gets taken, the license plate, it goes back to HQ, and I got a letter in the mail, I'm dealing with that for six months. Also there's somebody in their apartment like, where's my burger? Yeah, and sometimes that's me.
Starting point is 00:36:14 And do you, you don't want to be responsible for that. No. Mark, your new show, Penelope, explores concepts of mental health, growing up and living off the grid. Grid, overrated? Yeah I think the grid is properly rated you know? Yeah. Like I think that like we're getting really good things out of the grid. I love
Starting point is 00:36:40 the grid. You know? Like the grid is the grid, the grid brought me like some really nice leftovers today because I kept them in my refrigerator, you know, and that was nice that the grid brought me that. But what's bad about the grid and why I made Penelope is I do think we're all having trouble sitting alone with ourselves for more than seven seconds without pulling out our phones. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:06 And I had this time in my life where, from when I was like 19 to 21, my friends called me the Indigo Boy because I would travel around in my van. With lesbians. With lesbians, yes. And I was a singer-songwriter. And I would go days without speaking to people in between shows. And I would just sit with myself. And it was very formative to who I am. And think we're missing that so that's part of why I
Starting point is 00:37:28 wanted to make that show. Yeah, I like that. I love the grid but it is nice to leave it. Yeah, I used to go on like long hikes by myself and I wouldn't tell anybody where I was going and I would love that and then I saw like 128 hours. What's the name of the movie? It's actually called 127 hours, but you saw the sequel. What happened in that last hour?
Starting point is 00:37:51 Inquiring minds want to know. Now I text. I'll share location. No, it's good to share your location. Do you share your location? I do share my locations with my entire family and no one else. That's good. I like sharing my location. I like the intimacy it creates with my friends. Who do you share with? I have a few friends I share it with. And I like it. It's like, where are they? That's where they are. That's where they are. Here's where I am. Does that ever cause political problems because someone lied to you. They said they were going with Fred and they were really with Amy.
Starting point is 00:38:25 Well... And that happens. No, I think that it also, it prevents that you can't do the I'm on the... With the friends that can see where you are. Like my friend Spencer and I, we share our locations. And I'll be like, I'm on, I'll be like, I'm 20 out. And he'll be like, you're not 20 out. You're like 30 out.
Starting point is 00:38:42 Like maybe if you drive like a maniac, you're 26 out. And then you'll say it was 20 out, but you're 30 out. You're fucking 30 out. Like maybe if you drive like a maniac, you're 26 out. And then you'll say it was 20 out, but you're 30 out. You're fucking 30 out. That's like, to me, that's like sweet vulnerability discrepancy that you and Spencer will joke about later. The bad one is like, I'm at Greg's house, and Spencer's like, no, you're at my girlfriend Amy's house. Sure, yeah. I think if you're blowing up several relationships,
Starting point is 00:39:04 you shouldn't have your location turned on with various people involved. at my girlfriend Amy's house. Sure, yeah. I think if you're blowing up several relationships, you shouldn't have your location turned on with various people involved. No, and that's smart. And that's the kind of thinking that goes into Penelope. That's right. That's right. Who's off the grid, but young, too young to be off the grid.
Starting point is 00:39:17 Well, she's 16. She leaves behind her life, and she heads out into the woods. And it's been really fascinating listening to people who watch this show because some people really feel like this is everything that I want. I hate my phone. I want to get rid of it. And some people feel like, wait a minute, what about this girl's parents and what is she doing out there? And I feel like personally, I don't know how you guys feel like, the nature of discourse around the fact that we have 500 TV shows and movies on our queue,
Starting point is 00:39:49 like we take things in and then we forget about them immediately. So I actually wanted to like increase the electricity of the idea by about 20% so that it could actually land with someone and create some kind of discourse other than, did you see it? Yeah, I saw it, but I forgot because I'm watching the Menendez thing now.
Starting point is 00:40:05 Yeah, I actually liked it. It's a 16 year old and not a, you know, if it's an older person, it's like, you know, you hear older people like, I remember when I had to memorize phone numbers, you know? But like a person that, as I look around at everyone who would say that, sorry. But a person that's... This guy has a rotary phone in his pocket.
Starting point is 00:40:30 First of all, she's so funny, but you're a young crowd. Such a funny person, but she's joking. That's what's funny. But a 16-year-old has only ever, their entire life has been with the internet, and most of it with social media and streaming and stuff like that. So for them to make that choice, I do think it's more. It's weird, like when we started writing the show
Starting point is 00:40:55 like two years ago, we were like, oh, this is kind of like a novel idea. And then in the last year, all these articles have come out where these teens are choosing these like chosen Luddite societies and they're getting their dumb phones and they spend a week together in nature and and so I don't know I feel like maybe something is happening a little bit yeah I went on Survivor in part to get away from my phone and then I got out first but they didn't give me my phone back so
Starting point is 00:41:20 I got what I needed out of it so you got the best of both worlds for sure because I could still eat food you know you got Surviv best of both worlds. For sure, because I could still eat food, you know? You got Survivor on the grid. Yeah, I was on the... I was totally on the grid. Fiji's on the grid now. And that's the cool thing about it. All right, you know what? Let's play the game. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:37 First up, we have the viral cake theft. A TikTok user took us on a harrowing multi-part journey recently when she accused us of a swanky New York restaurant of everybody's... I dropped a card. Anyway, he basically made a cake. The restaurant served tiny slices and then he couldn't get the rest of the cake back. Let's show a clip. This high-end New York City midtown steakhouse, took the cake back into the kitchen, cut all of us meager slices of cake to eat, and they had just eaten the rest of it for themselves.
Starting point is 00:42:13 So... basically, he took to TikTok to say that this restaurant ate the other half of this cake he made. And the question is, should you come to the internet with that problem? Like, is that, you know? Mark, you say yes.
Starting point is 00:42:38 Zaina, if you say no. Oh, good guy. OK, let's go. Let's go. I'm going. Okay, let's go. Let's go. You should absolutely take all of your cake problems to the internet. There are very few empirical truths. This is one of them. But let's face it, the restaurant fucking ripped these people off. And they did it in an aggressive way.
Starting point is 00:43:01 You eat the whole cake, that's one thing. It's kind of like, oh, maybe it disappeared, maybe there was never a cake pudding. You eat half the cake, that's saying something. That is saying something. I want you to know specifically, like I want you to see the fork and time marks. That needs to be punished. Internet is the place. You say no, Zaynab. Oh, I'm arguing for, okay. You're so good at it though. You do not go to the internet about a cake, okay? Especially if it's a homemade cake. Because whoever made it could just make it again. Y'all probably had a big ass birthday party and those people working at that restaurant regardless of how high end it is, they have lives too and it was probably stressful.
Starting point is 00:44:02 Next up, Ryan Murphy most recent season of Monsters, who tells the case of Lyle and Eric Menendez, the two brothers convicted of the gruesome killing of their parents in 1989. As with every semi-attractive murderer, the actual Menendez brothers, allegedly eating half of his friend's birthday cake, god damn it, found the missing card. The brothers subsequently got a new crop of supporters and since it's 2024, those supporters made a ton of thirst traps and fan cams about the brothers. Here's one now. All right.
Starting point is 00:44:38 The question is pro or con, is it okay that people are thirsting over the Menendez brothers if it gives them an outlet for whatever weird part of the human brain makes them do stuff like this? Uh, hmm. Zaynab, you're in favor of this being fine. Mark, you'll be against. 30 seconds on the clock. You want to go first? Yeah, sure, you'll be against. 30 seconds on the clock.
Starting point is 00:45:07 Yeah, sure, I'll go first. You can totally like, listen, everybody loves a bad boy. And what's more bad than murder, right? And I give back my time. All right. Well, a tough act to follow. Mark, kick it away. Hmm. Well, there's a gray area here, right?
Starting point is 00:45:42 Right, so like these guys, they definitely killed someone. So if you're gonna crush on them and thirst trap them, maybe take it to something that was like 50-50. Like maybe they did it or maybe they didn't. So maybe this is like some bad boy energy, maybe it's good. You know, if you're gonna crush on somebody, it should be like, maybe it's OJ Simpson, you know? Right.
Starting point is 00:46:03 Because you know, it's 50-50, right? Sure. That's a view. That's a view you can have. OK. And that's the view. That's my take. Powerful words.
Starting point is 00:46:13 Powerful words. What's in between a pro and a con? Powerful words. All right, and finally, a peculiar mocktail champion by Dua Lipa went viral this week. The ingredients, Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapenos. We are all going to try it. And then we are gonna just pro and con this bad boy together.
Starting point is 00:46:34 Okay. I am not gonna try it. Oh, here's one. I have a third one, hang on. Okay. Ooh, it's happy. Why is it so big? I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 00:46:42 Why did you make larges? I mean, this is. It's a lot. It's why it feels. I'm going to say this calculation on my part. What? I think it smells good. I think it smells good, too, because I like jalapenos.
Starting point is 00:47:03 So anybody want to try this? I've never had a Coke in my life you've never I've never had a coke really and you're not gonna have one now well why why would I okay market I was right you're not gonna start with a diet coke here yeah all right hi what's your name Julia okay you're gonna taste it with us all right you're gonna count for Zainab. All right, let's taste this thing. Here we go. Cheers to Dua Lipa. For those of you who can't see, we're tasting. Oh, okay. It's interesting. It's interesting, I think it is worse than Diet Coke. I think adding the pickles made it worse,
Starting point is 00:47:41 and then adding the jalapenos made it worse. Yeah, like, it described a bouquet of flavors as it applies to wine, and a good bouquet, it all mixes together, and this is just three separate bouquets sitting next to each other in great discomfort. I don't like this drink for the same reason I don't like soup. And I'll explain. I drink... A liquid is supposed to help when something is spicy. Wait, hold... What? Is that the...
Starting point is 00:48:15 That's the definition of a liquid? No. I didn't say it was the definition of a liquid. I didn't say it was the definition of liquid. I said, for me, a drink is supposed to help on something spicy. When I have a spicy drink, where do I turn? To food? To help? Don't like it.
Starting point is 00:48:32 Soup. What are we doing here? You know, it's not a drink, but it's a liquid. What part of the meal does it replace? No part of the meal. I'd rather have a salad or nothing. Let's cut the soup thing if it's not crackin'. How did you like it?
Starting point is 00:48:52 Julie? It's not different than a Bloody Mary. It's not different than a Bloody Mary. Yes, we're on, I feel like you're right. We're on the road to Bloody Mary. It does need alcohol. I do agree that., you're right. This would be a definitely a drink if it had an alcohol. I think bourbon, I would say bourbon, Diet Coke, pickle juice and a little jalapeno. I'm not angry. You could be there.
Starting point is 00:49:13 I'm not angry. I'm not going to, I'm not going to order it because it'd be better without two of the ingredients. I feel like, yeah, you, you take out the Diet Coke, you put in some Bloody Mary mix, you take out pickles, you put into vodka, you take out the jalapenos. Put in a little Tabasco or something. Yeah. Yeah, you're on your way.
Starting point is 00:49:30 Yeah, you're on your way. I mean, that's a whole new drink, but yeah, it's okay. It's a no for me. It's a no for me. It's a strong no for me. And you know, I think that what's happening here is we've come to trust that those who are excellent in one arena might be excellent in another arena. And maybe that's not such a good idea.
Starting point is 00:49:55 Right. Like for instance, it can turn out that somebody that has a rocket company can also have the dumbest opinions in the history of planet Earth. Like that's possible to have two things can be true at the same time. John Glenn. John Glenn, for example. Yeah, John Glenn. Obviously speaking of John Glenn.
Starting point is 00:50:12 Fucking John Glenn. Zainab, how are you doing? Pretty good. Thirsty. She's doing a lot better than the three of us who drank some of this beverage. Do you have a plug? A plug? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:27 Where are you going? Are you touring? I threw the cart on the ground. Oh yeah. How is that with that? Sure sir. What are we doing suddenly? Well I just got back from filming upload season four.
Starting point is 00:50:37 Okay. Yeah, which is the fourth and final season and it's so funny that earlier you mentioned Luddites because we kind of covered Luddites a bit in our previous seasons and so yeah I just did that and that's wonderful I can't it's like such a good season I can't wait for people to watch it and now I'm back on the road next week I'm in Philly and then Detroit and then St. Paul and then Amsterdam and then Geneva and then Paris and then London wow Austin and then Geneva and then Paris and then London. Wow. And then Austin and then Houston and then I can't remember the rest. Being uploaded is the opposite of going off the grid in a sense.
Starting point is 00:51:11 Yeah, if you don't know the show, it's like in a close future, and people can, instead of essentially dying, you can upload your consciousness to a virtual heaven that is run, that's owned by like big corporations. I'm in. I want to stick around. I'm fine with whatever. You want that? Yeah I'm in. Yeah. 100%. Why not? It's a new experience. I play an angel which is a customer service person and first season I lost one of the people whose consciousness I had. Like I literally, my character lost it. So just keep that in mind. Yeah. There's still human error. Yeah for sure. I'll take my chances. Maybe that's
Starting point is 00:51:55 where we are right now. You're either nowhere or you take the 2% chance you get lost. That's worth it. Yeah. Yeah I'm in. Wow. Sort of a side at the end with the deep philosophical implications. I'm here for it. Con. When we come back, we'll spin a wheel. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back. Love it or leave it, and there's more on the way.
Starting point is 00:52:27 And we're back! This fall, it's not just the presidency at stake, the future of the Supreme Court is on the line too. But before you start to spiral, tune into Strict Scrutiny with three law degrees and plenty of opinions. Melissa Murray, Kate Shaw and Leah Lippman are breaking down every case and every decision so you can head to the polls ready and confident to cast your vote. Listen to Strict Scrutiny every Monday. We're so glad they're part of the network. It's an amazing show. Wherever you get your podcasts. Also, we're now on YouTube.
Starting point is 00:52:52 Strict Scrutiny is now on YouTube. Also, every day at Crooked Media, we're trying to build a progressive, independent media company at a time when trustworthy editorial voices are more important than ever. That's what you get at this show. A trustworthy editorial voice.
Starting point is 00:53:04 You know, it's part of it. We're committed to that mission, but we can't do it without your support. And the best way to do that is by subscribing to Friends of the Pod. We're offering 25% off new annual subscriptions. Why are we offering new annual subscriptions for 25% off in October? Because we want you to fucking sign up now, all right? Before your fair weather friends all go away in January and February, you keep paying attention, you keep the hose turned on.
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Starting point is 00:53:45 Have you listened to Termin- Anybody here a subscriber? Fuck. Uh- No, she raised her hand. Oh great. It's a podcast, you have to applaud. Thank-
Starting point is 00:53:54 Have you determined online? Polar Coaster? They're good shows. Yeah, they're great. Okay. Right? Yeah, I'm sure they are. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:03 What am I doing? All right. All right. Please welcome... Did you have a warm up comic before the show started? No. I do it. This is the warm up. I warm it up at the beginning. All right. Please welcome Congresswoman Kamala Yardav back to the stage to join. Welcome back. Good to see you. Missed you. All right. Kamala Harris all over the news this week and I demand more because everybody is watching the blitz unfold the Kamala Harris media blitz unfold. Everybody's got an opinion about where she should go. We're going to pitch our own a podcast at Gossipy Suburban Book Club.
Starting point is 00:54:43 We want to see Kamala visit to seal the presidential deal. It can be real, it can be fictional, it can be whatever you want it to be. In a segment we're calling Women Be Blitzen. Beautiful. All right. Let's spin the Blitz wheel. I would love to see her shopping like that.
Starting point is 00:55:02 Yeah. Yeah, she walks by the Republican store and is like, big mistake. Doesn't make any sense. Oh. Naneb, you're up. Okay. Um... What the f***? Okay, there we go. I was going to say, I was going to say that
Starting point is 00:55:16 I would love to see them just old fashioned door to door. You know, like just, just Kamala just at my door. Like, hey girl, right? Like, and then Trump like, I'll knock, but you know, whatever. But then it hit me, I would like to see Trump go on Hot Ones. He should go on Hot Ones, because the hotter the wind gets,
Starting point is 00:55:38 I just wanna see him, I wanna see him versus the hot sauce, you know? I wanna see him sweat and the toupee kind of start to float away. And then he'll be like, I'm still the best. You know, like, I just want to see that. And Kamala, I want to see her on, oh, any wrestling show. Any wrestling show, WWE, WWF, all the W's of threes.
Starting point is 00:56:04 Any wrestling show. Because she needs to like touch that base. I love that. I love that. Kamala versus Trump eating hot wings reminds me of the opening scene of Indiana Jones, of Raiders, where she's just drinking that guy under the table.
Starting point is 00:56:23 You know that like, you know that like Trump, it's too hot, it's rigged. And then she'd be like, just like, just like this is fine. I'll use it to brush my teeth. All right. All right. What color does Trump turn when he's getting hot?
Starting point is 00:56:36 Cause he's already orange. He's already orange. He turns purple. He goes purple. Yeah. Congresswoman, it's your turn to pitch. Jesus, okay. I think she and Walls should do a turn on the show,
Starting point is 00:56:51 The Bear. Oh. There is a big convention coming to Chicago and they have called in these great chefs to prepare a menu that is reflective of all of the states that are gonna be participating at this major convention. And so she is responsible for putting together a menu
Starting point is 00:57:09 that really represents the best of each of these states. So it allows her to talk to the base. It allows her to connect using food because we know she likes to cook. And Tim Walsh is Midwestern. And so he's able to do whatever Midwesterns do. Beautiful ellipsis there. Midwestern.
Starting point is 00:57:31 I just think Kamala Harris giving instructions to Tim Walz, then Tim Walz says, yes, chef. We're done. 312 electoral votes. Count it. Here we go. There we go. That's such a good idea. All right. Let's see what's next.
Starting point is 00:57:45 It's the wheel. Yeah, it's not really. Listen, the wheel. What does it do? It's getting less dramatic. Who's the dog? It was almost a dog. I'm the dog.
Starting point is 00:57:56 Mark, you're up. OK, so I would actually like to see Ms. Kamala Harris go on $100,000 pyramid, okay? Because I've been on this show. I've been on the celebrity version of it, because I am a celebrity. He's name dropping. Something happens to you in the speed with which you are required to respond that all politics go away. And your it takes over. The frontal lobe kind of disappears. And I just believe in my heart that Kamala,
Starting point is 00:58:36 unplugged as it were, Kamala unhinged, is what people are looking for right now. They want to see that she's such a good politician. She's so good at speaking, but they want to see that little frenetic, cat-like visceral energy. I believe she shows that. That's the 2%. We're good.
Starting point is 00:58:53 I like that. I like that a lot. I like that $100,000 pyramid. It was $10,000 at the beginning. It was $10,000. We have inflation. Yeah, I know. Shouldn't bring that part of it up, I guess. Yeah. All right, I think let's see who it lands on next.
Starting point is 00:59:17 The dog. Oh, it's you. It's me. So, the beeping. First of all, I think people have no attention spans and you have to go to where people can't turn off the screens. I think Kamala Harris should record
Starting point is 00:59:34 the airplane safety instructions for all the airlines while getting in little bits of information along the way. Like, here's what I'm gonna do, here's what you do if we crash, here's what I'll do if I'm president. Just like walk everybody through it, just because it's one place
Starting point is 00:59:49 where people can't turn off the screen. The other option I think is only murders in the building. It's a perfect, she would absolutely fit into that world. She could be a fourth member of that group. I think it would totally make sense. Can't you see it? I can. She don't need to go there though,
Starting point is 01:00:04 because you know New York, they don't need her. She's already good there. So she got to go somewhere else. Okay. Well, I just think it's like good to get, I think I didn't do a good job. No, you did. It just, it needs to be like.
Starting point is 01:00:19 Listen, I realized I was the only one that wanted to see Trump somewhere. So, as soon as Mark started, so I was like, oh, I think I did it wrong. No, yours was good. Yours was good. Only murders. You're right. We already have New York.
Starting point is 01:00:32 But other people outside of New York see it. Yeah. And it's a great theme song. I like the music. It's a very... We need her on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Exactly. We need that Pennsylvania.
Starting point is 01:00:43 That's smarter. That's smarter. Or like any of the Marvel shows that Sunny in Philadelphia. Exactly. We need that Pennsylvania movie. Oh, that's smarter. That's smarter. Or like any of the Marvel shows that shoot in Atlanta. They go there. Yeah. There's some painting. You know, today we were recording advertisements. That's part of it.
Starting point is 01:00:54 And you sell out, man. Yeah. Yeah. OK, so you know blank Melellon University named after Andrew blank. Okay. Okay. How do you say that name? Carnegie Carnegie.
Starting point is 01:01:18 I went there. Right. Wait, you went there. I went to Carnegie Mellon University. That's what they say, right? They say Carnegie Mellon. And they wear tartan, so yes. So it is Carnegie.
Starting point is 01:01:29 Everybody made fun of me. I'm sorry, Tommy made fun of me. Yeah. Let's call Tommy. Yeah, Carnegie. I mean, you know, if you're lazy, you say Carnegie Mellon. You know what happened? What?
Starting point is 01:01:40 It was Dale Carnegie, the guy who wrote the How to Win Friends and Influence People. That became more popular than the university and it took over. That's true. That's what happened. Oh, he influenced too many people. Dale. A lesson.
Starting point is 01:01:56 Blame it on Dale. Or they just ain't got the right PR people. See, it is Carnegie. Is Carnegie Hall? That's what I think. Well, I is Carnegie. Carnegie Hall. How do you get to Carnegie Hall? I've definitely heard Carnegie Mill and I've never heard Carnegie Hall. But it's the same fucking guy! That's why this is such a great topic. It changes when you get to New York. It's the dress all over again. Yeah. I think Kamala should do one of those Netflix roasts. Okay. When we come back, we'll end on a high note.
Starting point is 01:02:40 And we're back because we all need it. Here it is, this week's high note. Hey, love it. For the last couple of years, my partner and I have struggled with unexplained infertility. And as hard as that is, which is incredibly hard, it's made even harder when you're watching the news and you see that people are actively trying to end IVF,
Starting point is 01:03:08 which is possibly the only way that we could have children. And, you know, it's made even more difficult by, you know, my partners on binary and so these attacks against trans folks and trying to use them as a wedge issue. It just adds on to what's already such a difficult thing. And so my high note is that we finally got our first positive pregnancy test. And that was a couple of weeks ago. We've been monitoring, things are going really, really well.
Starting point is 01:03:40 And so, you know, we have our fingers crossed, but that's our high note is that after years of this difficult journey, we're finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks. Hey, John and everyone. My high note is that in late 2019, I decided I was going to go back to school and finally get my degree before turning 40. And now, month before turning 40, I have my Bachelor's of Science degree in Computer Science. So, hooray! But it's just in time for the largest tech employer in my area to announce 15,000 people to be laid off despite getting 8.5 billion dollars from the Biden-Harris administration. So instead of wallowing in the fact that I'm not going to get any student
Starting point is 01:04:26 loan relief, I've decided to go back to my old stomping grounds of southeast Michigan where I used to be an OFA volunteer back in the day and encourage people to go out and vote and to vote their conscience this year. So there's something. Have a good one. Thanks everybody. You shared a high note tonight. If you want to send us a message about something that made you feel hopeful, send us a voice memo to lowly high notes at crooked.com, L O L I high notes at crooked.com. Or if you're a friend of the pod subscriber, which you should all be, you can put one in the channel there. Also, there's like what?
Starting point is 01:05:03 27 days until the election. Everybody signed up at Vote Save America. I know how many people listen this show. I know how many people signed up. There's a big difference. How many people here have signed up for Vote Save America? Mmm a lot of hands went up later because you knew it was free to raise your hands. Please sign up at vote save America dot com. That is our show. Thank you so much to representative Kamala Gurdow. Thank you so much to Zaina Johnson and Mark Kupras for 23 days until the 2024 elections. Have a great night and have a great weekend. It's good shootin' time Lovin' or leave it is lovin' or leave it Hoffman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles, and Mohanad El-Sheikhi are our writers. Evan Sutton is our editor,
Starting point is 01:06:05 Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer, and Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by Shure Shure. Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast, and to our digital producers, David Tolles,
Starting point is 01:06:19 Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can. It's Love It or Leave It

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