Lovett or Leave It - Walz In Our Court

Episode Date: August 10, 2024

What's better than having an Olympic medal in pole vaulting? At least one thing, that's for sure. Kamala Harris (Allison Reese) stops by yet again to discuss picking the nicest of Vices. Hari Kondabolu and Pete Holmes are good sports, and even better philosophers, and we close out the show by honoring the man of the hour (and hopefully the next four years) Tim Walz with a celebration of dad-itude.Tour dates & cities: crooked.com/events For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.

Hello, Los Angeles! Look at all of you. Hello, Los Angeles! You know, I don't know that I have, I don't have the body for a stool. Remember that when Jacob Elordi was sitting in a stool and could just reach down and pick up a Starbucks cup? Think about how inconceivable that is. Welcome to Love It or Leave It. I'd like to shout out Steve Martin

for turning down SNL's offer to play Tim Walz because he's not an impressionist and thus became the first white man in history to turn down a job he wasn't qualified for. Incredible integrity. Humility. Couldn't be me. Tonight, Vice President Kamala Harris is back

with the inside scoop on her vanilla VP, Pete Holmes and Hari Kondabalu give good sports a bad name. And then we all tuck our shirts into our shorts and dole out some big dad energy. But first, let's get into it. What a week. Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! After announcing Minnesota Governor Tim Walz as her running mate Tuesday morning, Kamala Harris's campaign raised $36 million over the next 24 hours. Hey, that's double high said Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro, finally free to turn the Judaism up to 11.

Not that he couldn't. Harris introduced her VP pick at an exuberant Philadelphia rally Tuesday night. Shapiro, who was also in the running for the VP pick, got the crown fired up. Each of us has a responsibility to get off the sidelines, to get in the game, and to do our part. Are you ready to do your part? He's very good. You can barely tell he's been crying. He's very good, you can barely tell he's been crying. I'll just say again, and I'm not directing this at anyone in particular, and I'm sure there are probably more efficient ways for me to deliver this information, democratic

politicians, you must cut the pauses, you must speak faster. No one has the attention span for one X speech, let alone one X speech with massive applause breaks. Ride the applause, keep it going. Is anyone all? Our brains are broken, it's not their fault. They're doing what people used to do, but it's been a while.

Like, look, the last campaign was during, like we were just, it's been a while. And everybody's gotta pick it up. Anyway, then the vice president and her running mate took the stage. This campaign, our campaign, is not just a fight against Donald Trump. Our campaign, this campaign, is a fight for the future. Yeah!

First of all, love walls his vibe right behind her. He's giving school principal hovering behind the guest speaker in assembly to make sure the kids aren't texting. Kamala also had zingers. Here she is comparing Tim Walls to JD Vance. When you compare his resume Shall we? To Trump's running mate.

Well, well, well, some might say it's like a matchup between the varsity team and the JV squad. So first of all, now that I've incepted you with the fact that the speeches have too many pauses, it's all you'll hear. Now it's all you'll hear. I have to say, this was a tough hit on the JV squad. Why do we give the JV Squad so much shit for the sin of wanting to play a sport even though they're not that good?

Isn't that nice? Shouldn't we want there to be a JV Squad? It's also, by the way, insane that there are activities in public school where you can get cut. I get that there are limits for the away team, all right, but the home team, the home team, the home cheer squad? Sorry, we'd rather scar you for life, Ava,

than let you do a few cheers during the football game because the teen boys and dads want to see a perfectly coordinated dance by only the hottest teenage girls, so get fucked. This is the normal part of growing up, we accept it's absolutely ridiculous. Let's all run up to the sign and see which girl will remember the worst moment

in her entire life in high school. Anybody here get cut from the cheer squad? Do you remember it? Yeah, it sounds like it was pretty scarring for you. I mean, it rendered silent. Then came the man of the hour, and well, what can we say? Walls crushed it. Thank you, Madam Vice President,

for the trust you put in me. But maybe more so, thank you for bringing back the joy. Yeah! And thank you, Nancy Pelosi, for stealing that joy from Joe Biden and smuggling it out of the White House in your Birkin. Yeah! Hear his walls on Donald Trump.

Trump weakens our economy to strengthen his own hand. Yeah! He mocks our laws. He sows chaos and division. And that's to say nothing of his record as president. Boom. You got walls. Hot dish to the face. Walls continued. He froze in the face of the COVID crisis. He drove our economy into the ground. And make no mistake, violent crime was up under Donald Trump. That's not even counting the crimes he committed. Nice.

Tim Walz is like if the Manhattan Project figured out how to weaponize a dad. Walz also played the hits. You know it, you feel it. These guys are creepy and yes, just weird as hell. That's what you see. That's what you see. We gotta lean into the creepy. They're not weird like somebody who wears shoes with built-in toes.

They're not weird like somebody who paints their car and house the same shade of teal. They're weird like a guy with binoculars in a tree outside of your wife's doctor's office. They're weird like a salesman who calls you back after you came in to test drive a car and you say you decided to keep your current car, but he keeps making conversation until you realize he's asking you out on a date. That's the kind of weird. In addition to weird, Wallace had another message for Republicans. In Minnesota we respect our neighbors and their personal choices that they make.

Even if we wouldn't make the same choice for ourselves, there's a golden rule. Mind your own damn business. The slightly sibilant S, that Midwestern business. Mind your own damn business. Mind your own damn business is a golden rule in Los Angeles as well. We respect our neighbors and the choices they make,

even if we personally would never accept a role in the Garfield movie. I don't care if I have big, normal energy." Then Tim Walz took a direct shot at JD Vance, and it was sweet. I can't wait to debate the guy. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! That is, if he's willing to get off the couch and show up. Yeah! Yeah! That is, if he's willing to get off the couch and show up. See what I did there. See what I did there. Also what JD Vance said to the couch. Also, also the fact that he said, see what I did there, just 100% dad, 100% of the time, could not help himself. The pull my finger vice president. Cannot wait, cannot wait.

Republicans have tried a bunch of different lines of attack on Walls, including lying about his military service and hitting Walls on his response to the protests in Minnesota in 2020. Then the Harris campaign on Wednesday tweeted unearthed audio of Trump from 2020 in which he praises Walls for his handling of the George Floyd protests. I totally agree with the way he handled it the last couple of days. I asked him to do that and the whole world was laughing. Two days, three days later, I spoke to the governor and the governor is, I think I'm equality, he's an excellent guy. There it is, the first Tim Walls fact that made me go,

oh no, what did he do? So far, the best insult Republicans have been able to come up with for Tim Walls is tampon Tim based on a Bill Walls sign into law requiring all public school bathrooms to stock free menstrual products for students. This is, yes, they're very frustrated by this, which is in keeping with project 2025, which says if you need a tampon, it means you're not pregnant enough. Also...

Also, one of our writers at Kirk at Julia Claire made this point in a tweet, which is that people being upset that boys might see a tampon seem to forget that boys use a bathroom in their homes that they often share with girls and moms. They have seen tampons. And yeah, I did see a tampon as a kid, and it did turn me gay, but that was only because...

But that was only because I unwrapped it. They're safe in their little package. It doesn't get on you unless you open it. They're safe in their little package. Doesn't get on you unless you open it. Thousands of attendees began chanting at the Harris campaign in Eau Claire, Wisconsin on Wednesday as they waited for Kamala to arrive. Show me what democracy looks like! This is what democracy looks like! Show me what democracy looks like! This is what democracy looks like!

Eau Claire. The crowd was treated to a hype up performance from none other than Bon Iver. We will rally from the hillside, rally from the plain, shouting the battle cry of freedom. If you would have told me six months ago, I'd be crying at Bon Iver playing battle cry of freedom at a Kamala Harris rally, I'd have said, how do I make fire? Why am I going on Survivor?

I can't believe this is happening. When the crowd started chanting, lock him up during Kamala Harris' speech, not about Bonnie Bear, about Trump, Harris said this. Well, hold on. You know what? The courts are going to handle that part of it. What we're going to do is beat him in November.

And then lock him up, right? Right? Yeah, I mean, sure. Yeah, yeah. We're going to beat him. And, yeah. We're gonna beat him. She can't say it. I get why she has to say that, but... JD Vance also held a rally in Eau Claire as counter-programming to the Harris-Walls rally. Eww, Claire. Here's Vance answering the question, what makes you smile, what makes you happy?

Well, I smile at a lot of things, including bogus questions from the media, man. I mean, look, I think if you watch a full speech that I give, I actually am having a good time out here and I'm enjoying this. But look, sometimes you got to take the good with the bad. And right now I am angry. Okay, I'll, I'll just put you down for angry then. The reporter responded. Imagine being asked as a politician, what makes you happy? And instead of saying my kids, my wife, baseball and Jesus, you say, fuck you scumbag.

That's what makes me happy. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ahead of their respective rallies, Vance and Harris' planes arrived on the same tarmac in Eau Claire. Vance tweeted a photo of himself with his posse on the tarmac with the caption, this entourage reboot is going to be awesome. There we have the picture.

Vance stole my idea for entourage oops, all turtles. I've always said what entourage needed was more guys to take place in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. A reporter asked Vance the softest of softballs, and Vance crushed it as always. Why would people in Wisconsin want to have a beer with you? Well, I guess they'd want to have a beer with me because I actually do like to drink beer. Woof.

Well done Mr. Vance, very lifelike. I do feel for him a little bit because he is trapped in an impossible position. He is constantly being asked a version of, when did you stop masturbating outside of a school? Like, are you cool? Do you have fun? What makes you normal? You can't answer these questions

without seeming like a full-fledged fucking alien dweeb. I like to do all the normal things people do. There's no way out. What would make someone wanna drink a beer with you? I love beer. Beer is fun. I someone want to drink a beer with you? I love beer. Beer is fun. I will have fun having a beer. Show don't tell. Show don't tell.

Tim Walz simply cannot stop undermining JD Vance, even unintentionally. Case in point, the Star Tribune reported this week that Walz's drink of choice is incredibly Diet Mountain Dew, the very same soda Vance suggested the woke mob couldn't handle. It's remarkable that no matter what, we're going to have a vice president who drinks Diet Mountain Dew. It might be a good time to invest in Yellow 5 futures. Also, I just, when I heard that J.D. Vance drank Diet Mountain Dew, I thought,

ew, weird choice. Then I heard Tim Walz drinks Diet Mountain Dew, and I thought, have I not given Diet Mountain Dew a chance? Sincerely, that was my reaction. I was like, literally, two weeks ago, we did a joke about JD Vance and doing the fucking Diet Mountain Dew, we were like, gross, weird, no one would pick that.

Then Tim Walz does, I'm like, I was wrong. I really will have it, I'm gonna try it. On Thursday, Donald Trump clearly seething after weeks of bad headlines about Vance and his campaign held a press conference from Mar-a-Lago. In the press conference, Trump lamented that President Biden left the presidential race. Tell you what, from a constitutional standpoint, from any standpoint you look at, they took the presidency away. And people were saying he lost after the debate.

He couldn't win. Well, I don't know that that's true necessarily. You know, look, we've all been there. Relationship ends. You go no contact for a few weeks, then you see a picture of him, and it's like, was he that whispering? When asked how Trump has shifted his campaign strategy

to take on Kamala, Trump said this. I haven't recalibrated strategy at all. It's the same policies, open borders, weak on crime. I think she's worse than Biden because he got forced into the position. She was there long before Trump went on. It's in other words, time's up for Kamala Harris. Then he held up this cool picture of a clock he drew. For those listening at home, that was a clock as if Trump has some kind of degenerative

mental condition. At one point, Trump says this of the vice president. She destroyed San Francisco. She destroyed California. Trump is of course referring to the mid-90s when Harris and a squad of commandos took over Alcatraz and threatened to launch VX nerve gas at San Francisco if their demands weren't met.

Or is that Ed Harris? No, it was Conn. It was Conn, Larry. Trump also accused Tim Walz of being heavy into the transgender world. She picked a radical left man that is, he's got things done that he has positions that are just not, it's not even possible to believe that they exist. He's going for things that nobody's ever even heard of. Heavy into the transgender world, heavy into lots of different worlds.

Continue Trump. Plus, I don't even think he's attracted to his own daughter. Then... Then Trump added ominously, be careful, Tim Walls, if you die in transgender world, you die in real life. Trump also praised his running mate. And I have to tell you,

JD Vance has really stepped up. He's doing a fantastic job. He's like the son I never had three times. Trump bragged that his January 6th speech drew larger crowds than Martin Luther King's. Nobody spoke into crowds bigger than me. If you look at Martin Luther King, when he did his speech, his great speech, and you look at ours, same real estate, same everything, same number of people, if not, we had more.

Still, Trump was realistic about his lack of appeal to certain voting blocks, but feels confident about others. Some even on the roof. Trump? I don't know. I don't know. Trump, meanwhile, should drill even deeper into those cross tabs.

He's absolutely killing it with retired white male alcoholic step dads who have never used sunscreen. He's got a lock on men who will one day be told to sit down because they do not understand the rules of family court, or women who get too drunk in an Applebee's and then say, oh, you can't even talk anymore when shushed by a couple splitting a romantic lava cake on the 20th anniversary of their first date at that Applebee's.

Trump also filmed yet another ad for the Kamala Harris campaign when answering the question, would you direct your FDA, for example, to revoke access to the abortion medication Miffl-Pristone? You could do things that would supplement, absolutely. And those things are pretty open and humane. This is Trump saying he will try to ban by executive action abortion using Mifflpristone even in states where abortion is legal, exactly as Project 2025 and that which who told me to start a podcast predicted. Trump also dodged a question about Florida's referendum, which he'll be voting on as a

state resident. Are you planning to vote on Florida's abortion amendment right now? Well, I'm going to announce that. I'm going to actually have a press conference on that at some point in the near future, so I don't want to tell you now. Can't tell you now. He's got to save some bullshit for the next press conference. He's depleted his body's strategic bullshit reserves.

Can't possibly tell you how he's voting on the Florida abortion amendment now. That's what the next press conference is for. He's at this press conference. This one's not about that. In other news, a Texas middle school banned all black outfits from their students' dress codes, citing concerns about students' mental health.

Texas, as usual, keeping their eyes on the prize by protecting kids from the biggest threat they face, moody looks. Said the school's principal in a letter to parents, all black clothing has become more associated with depression and mental health issues and or criminality than with happy and healthy kids ready to learn.

When asked if they were planning any other ways to make sure kids were mentally healthy, they simply shrugged their shoulders and said, guns. It's another classic case of not understanding to make sure kids were mentally healthy, they simply shrugged their shoulders and said, guns? It's another classic case of not understanding the difference between correlation and causation. They don't get sad because they're wearing black. They're wearing black because they don't even have the words to describe the ways in which they feel trapped

by the conditions placed on their existence or because they're chic. I just wanted to know that whoever corrected my original spelling of the word chic, that's crazy how I spelled it. Because I spelled it like a chic, like a religious figure. And I knew it looked wrong, but I couldn't fix it. I sound things out. I once put in a speech for Hillary Clinton, she was referencing Seoul, South Korea.

I wrote S-O-L. Oh. Isn't that nuts? I shouldn't have been in that job. I was too... I was too young. Fuck. Speaking of depressed people who wear a lot of black, we turn to news from Europe. All right.

Sure. Three Taylor Swift concerts in Vienna were canceled after Austrian officials said they'd arrested two men over a planned terrorist attack. A dissident radicalized sect called the 1975 has claimed responsibility. Yeah, I don't like their politics either. Meanwhile at the Olympics, a Belgian triathlete became sick following a dip in the Seine. Rumors swirled that the polluted river had itself made her fall ill, though it wasn't clear if that was the case.

Yeah, said France, it could have been any of the polluted European urban sewer gullies that they spent 750 meters gargling through last week. Triathlete Claire Michel said subsequent testing showed it was a virus, not E. coli, that gave her vomiting and diarrhea. Yay, she went on to say, holding a bucket on the toilet in case he had another double a clop, which is Dutch for double whammy. According to Google Translate. Still, officials report bacteria levels in the sand have fluctuated during the games,

causing them to cancel pre-triathlon test swims and delay the men's triathlon by a day. Fortunately, the levels of fecal bacteria in the river were reportedly very good on the day of the individual triathlon competition. Having the right mindset can be so powerful. I'm a real glass of fecal bacteria half-full guy myself. According to a new study, New York subway riders were exposed to exceptionally high levels of air pollution. In response, Mayor Eric Adams has already deployed an additional 57,000 cops into the tunnels.

Combat the issue. The study also shows exposure to air pollution can cause fluctuations in affect or mood, which increases the long-term risk of mental health issues. Hey, I'm sulking here. And finally, eight female sea lions, outfitted with cameras, are now broadcasting previously unknown sea lion habitats under the ocean. And you can catch all the exciting drama this fall on Big Brother after Bark.

Up next, Kamala Harris is waltzing on sunshine. We'll be right back. Hey don't go anywhere there's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. Well folks we have done it again. Somehow the toughest book in politics, The Woman of the Hour, the great not-white hope of the Democratic Party. Please welcome the next president of the United States, its vice president, Kamala Harris. Hi. Hi. Good to see you. I'm like your morning Joe, you know? You just come out, you just, it's a safe place, you come.

Yeah, I come and we chit chat. We chit chat a little. Yeah. Madam Vice President, it's so great to see you again. Thanks for fitting us into your busy schedule. Oh yeah, you know, I love coming to talk to you, John. Can I tell you something? Okay. I don't know where I am.

Or what this is. And that is the context in which I thrive. I know I said this the last time you were here, but once again, big week, big announcement. Oh yeah, you caught that Insta live? Yeah, it's true. I started watching this nature show about tiny animals. And it changed the way I see the world.

You have no idea how big we are, John. Relatively speaking, of course. No, I meant Tim Walls. I meant Tim Walls. I'm talking about Tim Walls. Oh, right, right, I meant Tim Wall. I meant Tim Walls. I'm talking about Tim Walls. Oh, right, right, right, right. Tim. Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim. Tim, I love Tom. Isn't he great? Now, okay, imagine how huge Tim Walls looks next to an Etruscan shrew. It's the world's smallest mammal. Okay. Weighs less than a jelly bean.

And that was my first reaction too. But tell us a little bit about how this process went. How did you choose walls? Well I'll tell you John, there was a time, okay, and it was about two weeks ago when I would have told you that, you know, all white guys were the same, right? Interchangeable. There are two kinds. Doug. Not Doug. But,

you know, then you start talking to them, right? You start noticing all the little differences. Some of them are from Pennsylvania. While some are from Minnesota. Some of them ride tractors. Others enjoy films. There's a great deal of diversity within your community, John.

Yeah, they say no two are exactly alike, except Mark Kelly because he does have an identical twin And for that reason is why he is out Adults should not have twins John That is for children Grow up. Okay, two of you know Yeah, Republicans are saying that you bow to progressives by choosing walls. What do you say to that? Bitch Yeah, Republicans are saying that you bow to progressives by choosing walls. What do you say to that? Uh, bitch.

Have you seen this bitch? He looks like a butter sculpture of a guy who does butter sculptures. They want to paint a Midwestern veteran who owns guns and loves hunting. Okay, as a radical leftist, he looks like the man at the hardware store who tells you you're buying the wrong kind of sandpaper. Okay? And then you realize there's different kinds of sandpaper.

You find out Tim's a big early supporter of gay rights and you're like, for real? That's real real the guy looks like if his son came out to him he would stand up silently load his fishing gear into his truck come back three days later and then pretend like the conversation never happened okay so you go girl yes Tim Walls does look like he knows his way around a football stadium. American football, okay. Right, right, of course. None of this British stuff, soccer pride.

But progressives do like him. Bernie Sanders was even urging you to pick him. No, that's true, yeah. Bernie called me and he went, you know, Come along, the American people want a president they can have a bowl of soup with. And then he hung up before I could say anything back to him. bowl of soup with." And then he hung up before I could say anything back to him. And you could tell from the hang up sound that he was calling from a payphone. Weird. And yes. Interesting. Okay. Progressives are excited that Tim has backed policies like child tax credit, okay, free school lunches, abortion rights, automatic voter registration, and universal background checks. But you know who else likes those things, John?

Who? The overwhelming majority of normal ass Americans. Yeah. The kind of people who have garages, shit like that. And that's a great point. I mean, what's their line of attack here? You know, oh, pink old commie Tim Walls fed too many hungry school children? Fuck that piece of shit, am I right?

There's also been some reporting that you picked Walls because you were worried that Pennsylvania governor John Shapiro, the other finalist, was too ambitious that he would steal the spotlight. Me? Afraid of a Josh? No, not afraid of a Josh? All right.

That's a wine. That's not a guy. Listen, Josh Shapiro, okay, is great. He fixed that highway in 12 days. 12 days. Woo! 12, that's awesome. Okay, so his speeches sound exactly like Obama.

Who gives a shit? We all have an Obama impression. Not me. I do not have one. I have never even tried. Good boy. But look, if you were in caving to the Antifa Socialists, what was the deciding factor here? John, this ticket is about a lot of things. Defeating Donald Trump, protecting, yeah. Protecting American democracy, restoring reproductive rights.

But from day one, this ticket has been about something very near to my heart, and that's vibes. And Tim Walz brings a lot of things to the table. But one of those things is vibes. And I think that's undeniable. I feel like I've been drinking a spiked hot chocolate all week. Yeah, the vibes have been off for too long, John. America needs a vibe shift more than JD Vance needs an eyeliner tutorial.

And for some metaphysical reason that no political scientist can explain, Tim Waltz, the 60 year old piglet holding former high school teacher from Minnesota, is the man with the vibes to make that happen. I mean did you see the video we put out of our phone call where I told him he was my pick? Do you see that chemistry? It's a great video, I think we have a clip. So let's get out there and get this done, okay?

Let's do it. Do the work in front of us, let's win this thing. That's right. All right, buddy, I'll see you soon. Take care. Thank you. Okay, bye. Shoot, they cut out the whole 20 minutes

where we yapped about hot dish recipes and cleaning supply selection at Marshall's. Let me call my team real quick. I think the vibes came through, but we'll let you get to work. Vice President Kamala Harris, everybody. Yeah! Oh, Kamala is the new pussy hat.

Thank you, Vice President Harris. Thank you. Coming up, Vice President Harris. Thank you. Coming up, Hari Kandabalu and Pete Holmes get the bronze in the Golden Room. And we're back. Please welcome to the stage two guys who are definitely in the running to be my vice president. It's the hilarious Hari Kandabalu and the hysterical Pete Holmes. Come on out. Welcome. Good to see you. Good to see you both. Thanks for having me. I don't like they use the same superlative. We're both hilarious. Or what did you say? No, no, you were hysterical.

Oh, what is he? Hilarious. Oh, hysterical's a little better. Yours is slightly gendered, yeah. I don't know if I'm- Like ladies? Yeah, well, you know. Freud?

Like, yeah, you're, you know, it's because of, you know. I liked it. Faint and couch. Right, exactly. Thanks for joining me in this riff. Okay. Come on, that's what I'm here to do. I really meant it.

And I appreciated it. We're being sincere. Sorry, Harry, we're talking. Yeah, Yeah, I see that. I see that. We're riffing on Freud. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it doesn't. I had a thing, but it's a real, it's dead now. Speaking of dead, do you think that people spoil movies because of the Freudian death drive? I do. Because everything's meaningless? They want to destroy. There's just an instinct. If you hear somebody hasn't seen something and you have it and then you say,

oh please, I'm gonna go see it. You're like, oh god, I want to tell them what fucking happens. That little part of you that wants to destroy it. You know about that? Is that the same instinct that when somebody's an alcoholic and you keep offering them a drink? Is that like the same kind of-

Sure, yeah. Do it, do it. What's worse that's gonna happen? Do it. Yeah, no, that's, yeah, I mean equally destructive thing spoiling a Star Wars movie. Your kids will be more interesting. Take it, take it. Yeah. No, that's yeah I mean equally destructive things spoiling a Star Wars movie more interesting take it take it. Yeah Does drinking make kids more interesting? I think they have more of a story I'd imagine I Think they're fit for stand-up at that point. That's right. It's true Pete

You host a podcast called you made it weird a hysterical podcast hysterical What are your thoughts on Tim Walz branding Republicans as weird? I thought of my dad, who if you say something's weird, people are like, oh, it's not extreme enough. You should say they're insane or they're criminals. No, weird is worse than any of those. You go like, what a bunch of willows. Like, that's my father.

Huh. Oh, he's right. They wear the red hats and they're in the parking lot and they're fucking weird. He's out. I thought it was genius. And you know it's not just like a, whoops, I said it. There was a lot of marketing and a lot of research behind that.

Well, he said it on Pod Save America in February. So when he was a guest on our show a couple months ago, he said that to Tommy. And you all fucking biffed by not catching it. So how about that? I mean, the thing is, weird is our thing on the left. That's always been our thing.

Our cities are weird. It's part of who we are. It just feels like almost like creepy. Yes. Creepy feels appropriate. Nah, too strong. Creepy is too strong? Nah, Tales from the Crypt is creepy. They're weird. I think that there's good weird and bad weird.

And we're obviously talking about bad weird. They're bad weird, like make you uncomfortable weird, not enjoy a tonal music weird, you know? Uncomfortable weird, you mean creepy? Yes, I'm comfortable with creepy. I was just, I didn't want to just immediately disagree with Pete who is wrong on this, but yeah. He's wrong on it, yeah.

Creepy is creepy. Creepy's bad. And there is Good Weird. Good Weird is a bar that's an arcade that's a strip club. Portland. Yeah, Portland. That's, yeah. We want Portland Weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, Trump is creepy.

He does creepy things. Weird relationship with his daughter, right? Yeah. The other guy, come on. I mean, just the couch. The whole thing. It's a creepy energy. It's a creepy energy.

Yeah, that's wrong. You can't drive right at it. I think there's a sweetness to weird. It's a creepy energy. It's a creepy energy. I, that's wrong. You can't drive right at it. I think there's a, there's a sweetness to weird. There's an, there's a, Oh, you don't like it. No, no, I do like it. I think it's the right thing to, I think weird is great. I don't, I, I hear you that like, wait, wait, wait,

we like weird. We're the ones that welcome all the weirdos. I totally hear you. But there's something about the way Tim Walls describes them as weird. You like him and hate them and you don't hate the weird people we like. Right. That's all.

You two are both fathers. Yeah. Are you relieved to see Tim Walls, America's new dad out in front? Yeah, it's time we have dad energy at the podium. I like that. Yeah. Isn't it interesting though, it's a specific kind of dad energy because obviously all the previous presidents have been men.

They've mostly been dads and yet they don't have dad energy. I agree. But Joe Biden is a very caring and loving parent. I remember the Republicans put out of his great grandpa energy. Yeah, he has great. He has grandpa energy. That's totally right. Because there was a clip that came out of voicemail.

Did you mean great grandpa or great grandpa? Oh, I meant great grandpa. Like he's very old. He has both great grandpa energy and great grandpa energy. Okay, there you go. And because he is quite old. Yes. You has both great-grandpa energy and great-grandpa energy. Okay, there you go. And because he is quite old. Yes, yes. You could say he has great-great-grandpa energy.

Yes, I was definitely worried that one of his grandchildren would have a kid before November. Oh. Because then we have a news cycle about a great-grandfather in the White House and it's like, no, no. Gilf. Yeah. It's weird to have an ancestor as the president. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty high up on that family tree. But there was this beautiful

voicemail that he left for Bo when Bo was really struggling that Republicans put out as being incriminating but really caught him just saying we got to think I love you we got to figure out what's because he was in the middle of a drug abuse crisis and it's just this moving thing of like not you just like the best thing you would ever hope a father could say which is like I love you, we got to figure out what's because he was in the middle of a drug abuse crisis. And it's just this moving thing of like, not you just like the best thing you would ever hope a father could say, which is like, I love you, even though you're doing these things and having this horrible experience. And that's causing all these negative consequences. I love you, and we got to get your help. And I don't know what to

do. And it's like a very moving thing. Anyway, that's dead energy, but just not the same. It's I never thought it was fair. I still don't think is that they go after Bo Biden because I'm sure there have been tons of kids of presidents in the past who had fucked up lives that we just didn't know about. Like John Adams and then his grandson, John Quincy Adams.

What the fuck happened to that Middle Adams? Yeah, what was that guy up to? How did that leap happen? Loved ketamine. The first to discover opium. Gentlemen, the Paris games have begun. And it's become my entire identity. One thing I've noticed is that I absolutely

could do the synchronized high dive if somebody just asked me. I'm with you. I also do believe that vaulting is just running really fast and then you just put your arms down and then you go up. Yeah it'll put you up. If you're running with a very long noodle all you have to do is stop and plant it and it does the rest. Right. The noodles should get the medal. Yeah. Yeah, like how the horses should get the fucking medal.

The horses should get the medal. They don't give it to the horses. Yeah. But I do believe I could do that. I think I could shoot. The turkey guy made me think I could shoot. Yeah. I played Duck Hunt.

I definitely feel like, yeah, we've played Duck Hunt. We've played Duck Hunt. Lethal Enforcers? Oh, hell yeah, Lethal Enforcers. Cheers. I have a, oh, I've played that. We've played that. Lethal enforcers? Oh, hell yeah, lethal enforcers. Cheers. I didn't know what you were doing. I didn't know we were cheersing. I'm very disappointed in the US only getting five shooting medals.

Like, you would think, what was this all for then? You know what I mean? At least it was the one thing out of our culture. I'm like, well, that's what we're good at. And here are a bunch of golds. Just five? I know, it sucks. Don't you think that there are these,

sometimes you'll find out there's just a new event added and you're like, that's low hanging fruit. I could do that. We should be trying. In the same way that I feel like more people should be making shorts that they could submit to the Oscars. Like that feels like that feels like the one to go for. No, you made your point very beautifully.

I also think if I got up at 3.30 AM and swam for 12 hours every day, I could be in the mix every day. These are just the idiots that were so stupid. They didn't know not to give their life to the chlorine waters. No, I backed. I think you'd be stupid not to start trying to become an Olympic swimmer tomorrow. There was, um, there was somebody talking about this thought experiment, probably on Tik TOK. That's where all my information comes from at this point.

Brainfell out the back of my head, but that basically if, if there was a, uh, if you were in a groundhog day situation, is this your perfect day? How far into it are we for you? I pinch a fly perfectly. Bless you. Damn it. You keep trying. Most times they do. Next time you come, you put a little dust in. You got to set it up. But if you were in a Groundhog Day situation,

and the way to get out of the Groundhog Day situation was you had to beat Garry Kasparov at chess, would you ever do it? An infinite number of days, an infinite amount of practice. Every day you sit down, you play Garry Kasparov, win or lose. If you lose, you reset. Could you ever win? I mean, it's so hard,

because initially you gotta spend at least a few years like getting over the fact that it's so fucking boring. And that's like, that's just, I don't wanna do this. Like every day is like, I don't wanna do this. And eventually you're like, all right, let me do the thing. I don't wanna get to CIA, black ops on this, but I wouldn't play chess. I would only probe him for things that really upset him,

so that when I play them, I go like, oh man, Suzy didn't want to dance with you. And then he's on tilt. These are poker terms. Plays poorly, I win. Who's in an infinite loop now? Not you. Maybe Gary Kasparov.

I've thought a lot about, like, when people talk about going back in time and killing Hitler, and everyone says they're gonna kill Hitler, it's like such a direct thing, and they probably won't, because killing a human being is not an easy thing to do. What I've always said is go to Austria when he's a failing art student and buy his shit. Like, that was what he needed.

What he needed was grant money. You know what I mean? That's very interesting. I thought you were gonna say when his parents were conceiving him and push his dad at the... Right. Like when he's like,

Nice, nice, nice. And you go, ah, ah, the waste of the seed. The seed has been wasted. And it's sizzling on the ground because it's so evil. Right. So the Olympics. The seat has been wasted! And it's sizzling on the ground because it's so hot. So the Olympics. I'll just say that. I'll just say that.

Well, I guess the question is right, like... That voice is very... No, it's good. It's basically Bill Burns. It's a little different. You rarely get a Hitler's dad impression. I actually can't think of a time I've ever thought about what Hitler's dad sounds like, and I guess he just sounds like Hitler.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes Hitler would be in his speeches like, father? Well, like Hitler's dad's watching it on television and being like, my boy. That's right. He's an angel. How many more years until the Germans stop being a punchline? At some point, I'm sure we stopped making fun of the Mongols, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. That was thousands of years ago, right? Yeah. Yeah. So we're in the middle. We're in the prime. Yeah.

We're right in that sweet spot. No, this is the sweet spot because we're at the point where we can be pretty sure that anyone directly responsible is dead. Right, right, right. So it's just a crime of their society. Right, right. Right, when people make fun of us about the genocide.

Right, sure. We're going to lose Italian first. It's a me, Mario. We'll be like, art kids are going to be like, dad, Nintendo was racist. And we'll be like, it was a different time. Like that, that's over. Yes. Yes.

Oh, I love spaghetti. Why is this OK? We're all like, oh, Luigi, come and give me a kiss on the lip. The pizza boxes. Yeah, pizza boxes. Oh, Luigi! Come and give me a kiss on the lip! The pizza boxes, the pizza boxes. Like, no, no, no, we drew a caricature of an immigrant 150 years ago, and all the pizza boxes have to have that immigrant on it. A specific version of an Italian immigrant must be on the bar.

There he is. Captures that whole entire group of people. And they're like, think of your mama for the picture. He's like, ah, mama. Now for the segment we call the More Olympics. Oh. Oh. More Olympics.

Yeah. I look good in that. Yeah, it's good. Yeah. My hand is too big. And I'm the same guy as Harry. Yeah, it's good. My hand is too big. And I'm the same guy as Hari. Yeah, my hand is white. So yeah, there are some issues.

There are some issues with the graphic. And we weigh the same? Yeah, you do. I'm much bigger than you. You do weigh the same. You do weigh the same. Morally, we are equal, though. Again, this is a podcast.

The fact that there's a graphic at all is genuinely shocking. All right. Here's how it works. Full respect. Full respect. We're in the middle of an international, gigantic sporting event and there have been some ethical quandaries raised. And so we're going to explore them in this segment. First off, is it morally defensible to make Olympic athletes swim in the River Seine knowing it's full of human poop and hypothetically could give them diarrhea and vomiting if bacteria levels spike too high? They trained for this. They knew what was gonna happen.

If you can't dodge a turd, you don't belong in our games. Well, at some point they knew it was gonna be in Paris. It was gonna be, they could have backed out. I'm like, I'm not swimming in that. Nobody's making anybody do it. Didn't they say they were gonna clean it in time for the games and then they just didn't? Yeah, classic French.

The scent will be ready for the Olympics in about three to six months. But from now. But they have a pool. They couldn't have figured out a way to use the fucking pool. Yeah, use the pool. Use the pool. Use the pool. Because Katie Ledecky does 1500 meters in that thing. So they clearly do races of that length.

So use the... Can they not? They couldn't come up with a way to use the pool. Yeah, but this is funnier though. It is funnier. It is funnier. They were well aware this is hilarious, that we're gonna, I mean, I feel like there are athletes who are playing with COVID,

you know, and we've accepted that. So if some athletes end up with typhoid, is that really? Yeah. Well, on a more serious note, that's fucked up. Yeah. I don't like it. Get in the pool. I mean, just give everybody kind of like a good kind of penicillin shot.

Get in there. It's like we have the cure for these things. And also it's like, I got terrible, terrible food poisoning in Mexico and I am sure it was probably equivalent to what you would get from the River Seine and there was no medals. Yeah. Yeah. You deserve one. Yeah. Is it morally acceptable to root against the athletes from North Korea?

And then as a follow up, is it OK to root for them? Here are some North Korean ping pong players taking a selfie with their South Korean and Chinese counterparts. and it's very cute. That's a high angle bro. High angle respect. Everyone's going to look great in that picture. Let me handle the face issues you don't have. Yeah, we don't, you guys don't have to worry about holding that camera up for many years. That's what I'm saying. Tight. I think this is great. I don't. I root for the North Koreans.

I absolutely root for the North Koreans. Because it's like, this is it. There's consequences. But there's that. But I just mean that this is an experience. They go home to something, and it's not good. This is good. Well, I really look.

If you're an American shot putter, for example, right? And you don't win, what's the worst that happens? Oh, no, I'm not going to be part of the professional shot put league for example right and you don't win what's the worst that happens oh no I'm not going to be part of the professional shot put league whatever right it's a waste of time right whatever yeah if you're North Korean and let's say you're expected to win because you happen to be good at it and you don't win that might be it that might be the highlight of your life and the last moment right and I feel like we have to support them because it means something that we don't give a shit about shot put, we don't give a shit about any of this.

This goes away, we care about gymnastics until next week. I mean, that's how it works. How fucking dare you? I know all about gymnastics and not just the last six days. I will know more, I will continue to remember it happens and all of my favorite athletes including the ones that I saw and some of the ones I didn't see. The USA artistic swim team moonwalks upside down to Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal.

These ladies broke out the moonwalk. What? Yeah. Upside down. What? Take a look. Oh. That's impressive. That's cool.

So smooth criminal. I think it's fine to use it now that he's dead. Thoughts? Why do it when alien and farm did a better version? Wow. So if you want to listen to Michael Jackson, guilt free, two words, weird Al, you're good. Just listen to eat it. Just doesn't eat it.

Yeah. If you're not laughing or under 40 fat. Oh, eat it is fat. Eat it. No, no, no. Eat it is different from fat. I'm fat as bad. Eat it is beat it. He loved body shaming. That's that's another thing. Shots fired. Yeah, we're going for you. How about penitent Al? We'd like to see that. As if Weird Al Yankovic fears being canceled.

He lives in a different ethereal plane. The man can imagine that, the idea of him being canceled. Never. Not possible. Not today. Not today. What do you think? Smooth criminal?

Yes or no? Well, I don't know if you're willing to put your head underwater for an extended period to listen to Michael Jackson, that seems fair. Why not? Your head's already in the sand. Nice. Nice.

Do you guys get the issue? People worry he's a pedophile. OK. So the head in the sand thing, are you aware that that's an expression? Because that was fire. I think now that he's dead, the songs are back. Is that not right?

What's the harm? No, that's it? We never get to listen to them again? They're such good songs. Are you fucking kidding me? What about Elvis? Can we not listen to Elvis? Smooth Criminal isn't the Moonwalking song, though. That's an important point as well. It is. Yeah, it though. That's an important point as well.

Yeah it is. That's my issue. It's not the people who say he, ah, bo-reh-bah, it's the wrong song. What was the Moonwalking song then? I don't remember, does anyone know? It's not Smokey. Billie Jean.

Oh man. That was awesome. You're gonna go home and just look at yourself in the mirror and be like, I knew it. Like I want you to, I want you to. I want you to just kind of, I just. Billie Jean's a very creepy song. Of course it is.

People always tell him. The creepy fucking guy, but he's dead so the songs are back. It's also unrealistic. Like, the kid is not my son. It's like, yeah, we know. We know. We know.

What about The Girl Is Mine? Paul McCartney's like, the girl is mine. And he's like, ah, ah. Very weird. The voice was questionable. Speaking of dicks, is it morally tolerable to have watched French pole vaulter, Anthony Amarati's now infamous defeat by dick moment,

seven times and then four more times? We have the clip. Yes, there's the pole doing. The only thing that would have made it better is if loony tunes added though. Utter perfection. What's the real win though? He has that the rest of his life. Absolutely, absolutely. Gold fades.

That's incredible. You know what I mean? Gold fades, dick hit in the pole, stays a lifetime. Here's the thing, what would you rather do in 20? That. Are you kidding me? The rest of your life you can go up and be like, you see the Olympics? Well, I'm just, the thing is though, if you wear your medal to the bar, you'd be like,

Oh, this Paris 2024. But with this, you got to find the way back to the conversation and show people the clip. Are you kidding me? TP baby, tight pants. That's the medal you don't take off. That's true. That guy, that's true your back I that's your okay he's he has the gold around his his it yes he kept he won the gold before he got to the games yeah yeah yeah yeah God gave him the gold yeah that's right God if it was small it'd be it'd be we should it would be me yeah yeah then we like why we making fun of this guy with this small penis? Well, that's, we wouldn't have made, he would have won. No, that. No.

Yeah. He would just be a guy that won a medal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, good call. That's exactly my point. Do you wanna be just a fucking guy that won a medal? Or do you wanna be the guy with the Hong Dong? You got that Hong Dong, Hong Dong. He was offered $250,000 by a porn site for an hour long cam sesh.

What did he say? It's not on the card. 250 seems low. I could get a more than that. Yeah. For someone that lasts forever? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

At least two cents. And he lasts forever? forever. I don't understand your moral calculation here. If you listen to a song by Michael Jackson, what happens? So you're saying that other people that might abuse people and make music would know that after their death, their estate would continue to be enriched based on their music. I just want to try and understand what the moral harm is of listening to a Michael Jackson song

that only gives money to his estate, which is not him, which is a legal entity. So it's really, what do you have against Paris Jackson, is what you're saying. Right. Or blanket.

Or blanket. I couldn't remember the kid's name. That's right. Well, you are asking a culture that we don't know what to do. It's not Michael Jackson. I don't mean to get too serious, but it seems like an interesting podcast. It's not trauma. Sexual abuse is a trauma, but one of the worst parts of it is the gaslighting, is it didn't

happen. There's no consequence. People know that in families. You have to, a lot of people have Thanksgiving with their abusers. And when you play Michael Jackson at a wedding, it's like, look, we all know this person. We all think this person's a rapist,

but look, we're all gonna dance. It's that, it activates that wound. So it's not the Michael Jackson estate, it's the one in six women that have been sexually abused that are uncomfortable. But I can still listen in the car Yeah, you can at least you can listen in the car. Okay? By the way, I think it's weird at a wedding. I think you're making a good point

Yeah, I think it's that it's the culture of like it doesn't matter It didn't as long as you're rich and powerful and catchy you can do whatever you want But yes, but I think he should have been held accountable when he was alive. Yeah, sure. And we could push Hitler's dad off his mom. I honestly think probably if you just held Hitler's dad up for 15 minutes, it's different sperm.

Ooh, that's very interesting. Just 15 minutes. Change his breakfast. Yeah, or just like, just put a package in the hallway he has to walk around. Just that little jostling is going to be a different spur. If he had pancakes instead of an omelet. No Hitler. No, it just slightly worse Hitler.

Fire the gun. Thank you. Harry and Pete. Check out Harry's special vacation baby on Hulu now. Listen to You Made It Weird, which I plugged at the beginning. Oh, there you go. You are a proud. I've enjoyed every moment.

When we come back, we're all your jatties. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back. We're back! We're back! You're doing great. Project 2025 is the buzzy, ominous phrase you've probably already heard.

Over at Strict Scrutiny, the trio of badass constitutional law professors is breaking down the full 900-page project into a four-part series within your Monday episodes. Host Melissa, Leah, and Kate scoured all the fine print for you because lawyers are sick freaks who love that shit, but not creepy. Stay informed about the far-right agenda and its real life implications for tens of millions of Americans as we head into the election cycle by listening to strict scrutiny wherever you podcast or on YouTube. Also hot dogs? Lake Michigan, a rich history of corrupt politicians. Chicago has it all and Love It or Leave It is coming back to the Windy City on August 23rd at the Vic Theater.

Great plug, John. Join me as I welcome Marcella Arguello, Liz Winstead, and Allison Reese to debrief after the DNC and talk about whatever new deranged thing we assume JD Vance will have said between now and then about women and or die amount and do. Get your tickets now at crooked.com slash events. All right.

It's fun. All right. Please welcome back to the stage the incredibly funny Alison Reese. Hello. Hi, Alison. Oh, yes. Hello for the first time. For the first time, Alison.

Good to see you. Hello. All right. How are you? Hi. Hi. I have a hat now. I like both ways.

To toast our boy Tim as if we haven't done that enough this evening, we wanted to close out the show with a segment we're calling Dad Vibes Only, in which we will celebrate the most dad-like quality we love and see... What? What the fuck? What about this is Dad Vibes? I think it's saying no New Balances, no Fantasy League, no service. So I am stopping non-dad vibes from entering. You have to have dad vibes to get in. And you're the secret service. I get it.

All right. Yeah, let's spin it. Pete, it's landed on you. What's your dad vibe? Yeah, you know, this is going to sound like a bit, but this is the first time I'm sharing this. Now that I'm a dad, just overnight, I've become very interested in whether or not

people break down boxes before they put them in the recycling. Like, I had to talk to other men in their 40s. I was like, that's the thing, right? I'm obsessed with the thermostat. I'm obsessed with breaking down boxes. And yeah, I don't know when it happened. Do you have a box cutter? I use scissors. See, here's the thing.

You realize why the box cutter exists. You just have a box cutter in a drawer that is for this purpose. And all of a sudden you're like, the what I have been doing is so fucking stupid. Really? You take out the box cutter, slicey, slicey, slicey, gone. Scissors you're like, the what I have been doing is so fucking stupid. Because you take out the box cutter, slicey, slicey, slicey, gone.

Scissors you're fucking around with, box cutter, man. It's called box cutter. It's the anteater of handheld knives. Exactly, exactly. It reminds me of, somebody actually told me a joke where it's a dad and he's dying, and it's a joke. It's just a joke. You don't like that? You're gonna hate where it's a dad and he's dying. And he... It's a joke. It's just a joke. You don't like that? You're gonna hate where it goes.

I'm just kidding. No, it's a classic setup. Throughout history, we've told joke deathbed jokes. It's a genre. It's a dad on a bed. He's on his deathbed, and he goes, my daughter, daughter, are you here? And she goes, father, I'm here, I'm here. It's okay, I'm here.

He goes, wife, wife, are you here? She goes, yes, sweetheart, we're all here. We're'm here. He goes, wife, wife, are you here? She goes, yes, sweetheart, we're all here, we're all here. He goes, son, son, are you here? And he goes, daddy, I'm here, I'm here, we're all here. He goes, you're all here? They go, yeah, we're all here. He goes, why is the kitchen light on? Ha ha ha!

And I relate hard. Nice. Overnight I became, those are my dad vibes. Dad vibes, dad vibes, dad vibes. You think we work for the electricity company? Am I right? Just send the check, huh? Nice. Overnight I became... Those are my dad vibes. Dad vibes. Dad vibes. You think we work for the electricity company? Am I right? Just send the check, huh?

Just send the check! Let's spin it again. What if this is a true random wheel and it lands on me again? Allison, what's your dad vibe? My dad vibe is I now hunt for whenever cups are left out around the apartment, and there's a lot of them, and all of them, I go, whose goddamn cups are these all over the apartment?

But the part that's not dad vibe is that all the cups are mine. That. That, and if someone's watching TV and I like it, I stand off to the corner. Just an agreement about the show, you know, not really participating or enjoying it. Just being like, yeah, that's happening there. And then leaving when I feel there's a good break. Not the commercial break, but a break for me. Yeah, a break for you. A break for you.

Do you ask what's happening? All right, let's... That is a good one. I didn't know it was one until you explained it. And I'm like, that's a dad thing. Yeah, it is a dad thing. That's good. All right, let's spin it again.

Who it is? Who's it gonna be? All right, what's your dad vibe? I started wearing hats. Yeah, I never wore hats, because my hair is the best thing, my feature, yeah. It's without a doubt, my hair.

What? But I just don't feel like it's important anymore to look good. Oh, yeah, yeah And so it's just like, let me put a hat on. Like, does my hair look good today? Yeah, but who cares? Let me put a hat on it. If I could wear a mask, I would. What?

Stop it. First of all, you do have great hair. Thanks. But we're not going to sit here and let you be like, that's my best quality, to kind of like a backhanded insult to yourself. Absolutely not. We simply don't accept it.

We don't. Tell him. We don't. Tell him what it is. Oh, wait. You can't, you can't. You can't. Well, we both know, so you tell him.

We both know. It's your Facha. You have a great face. Get out of here. What? You got a handsome, symmetrical, pleasing, pleasant face. Man, how did you know I'm recently single? Well done, Pete.

This was a fishing expedition if there ever was one. You're so thirsty and I love it. I'll add to your hats thing. Any women want to be my third or fourth priority in life? Anybody? I'm a father. So hot. With an inconsistent career.

White undershirt t-shirt that I'll wear in public. I'll add to that. I know I already went. But just because we're all jamming. Sauerkraut. I'll just eat it straight. Oh, very good. That's a dad.

That's a sort of German dad. That's a fucking dad. Nein! Ha! The gisum it sizzles! That would have been a good boy! Because it's evil, that's how you know it's evil. Well, yeah, that's how you know it's evil,

because it's sizzle. All evil things sizzle. It melts through the ground like alien blood. Let's spin it again. Yeah. Yeah. If it sizzles. Here it is. Here's my dad vibe. And it is this.

I know that no-show socks are now uncool. I now know this. I can't. I know it. Yep. Everyone cross your legs, millennials. They're not cool. It's just it gives it the Gen Z-ers. They know it. Yep, everyone cross your legs, millennials. They're not cool. It's just, it gives it the Gen Zers.

They think it's uncool and it is the equivalent of the socks that our parents wore when we were this age. And yet, when I go to put on the socks that are, you know, of the moment, de rigueur, I don't speak French, hot now, I feel strange. Like if I wear ankle socks, I'm wearing no-show socks right now. And if I wear socks like the ankle socks

that are the fashion, I feel silly. I can't help but feel silly. And it's like, that's how you end up, and whatever I am wearing is the equivalent of a Hawaiian shirt and fucking pleated khakis and New Balances. Everyone's like, oh no, News Balances are dad shoes. No, they're not.

These are dad shoes, because I'm the age of a dad. Sure, I'm childless. Thank you. If you want heavily discounted socks of high quality, the J.Crew Factory website is something else. That's what I'm, I've gotten way into socks in recent years. J.Crew Factory?

I'm also imprudent with my money. And so if you wait at the right time, it'll be free shipping on the J.Crew Factory website. The sound. Maybe 80% off potentially. You're getting a $20, $30 pair of socks worth $2 and they have to pay for the shipping? The sound of vaginas drying up.

You know what's interesting about our rapacious capitalist system, I'll tell you. It's that at first there were outlet stores and those were stores for the leftover stuff that they didn't sell in the proper regular stores and those were extra and those went to the outlets and then the outlets became a thing and then the companies started making clothes specifically for the outlets. Now you can go and buy J. Crew factory socks on the internet that are meant for the outlet

that were meant for the real store. I got a pair with rockets on them. That is so cute. Rockets, I got a baseball one. Penguins playing hockey. My God. You're telling me that's one of the best things about capitalism.

I'm not a supporter of capitalism, but you're telling me I can get these socks for $2? I want all my socks to be the same. I want all my gym socks to be exactly the same. I want all my gym socks to be exactly the same. I want all my life socks to be the same, and I want all my formal socks to be identical. I want to open a drawer in the dark, and I want to know exactly what I'm pulling out,

and I want to know exactly what the function is. I do not want to deal with options. Life is too complicated. How old are you? I am 41. Yep. That's good, yeah. Because I'm agreeing with you harsh. Okay.

And those things show up right at the four zero. Yeah, yeah. I was tempted, maybe my comedic instincts were like, oh, I should make fun of you. I'm with you. And ever since I've turned 40, I'm obsessed with socks that stay up. Oh, they gotta stay up.

If a sock starts to slide down, I'm like, who the fuck are you for? That's right, that's right. Oh, they gotta stay up. If a sock starts to slide down, I'm like, who the fuck are you for? That's right, that's right. That's such an important point. I can't handle it, I can't handle it. Also, it feels like a special treat, because you're walking around every day

and nobody knows what's really going on in your feet, right? Yeah, this became, by the way, this was a segment about what is something about you that has dad vibes. It turns out 100% of the energy you're putting into the world is the energy of men in their 40s. Just dad energy. And Allison? You know, I'll say this. You guys, I feel like made fun of my hat, my socks, but no one's made fun of my overalls yet. And that's the most dead thing about my outfit right now. I think, well, I feel like you're queer in the overalls.

I just think that they're good. I don't think that's those. I see what you're saying, but Tim Walls would not wear those. No, no, I think that like a lesbian bartender would wear those. You know what I mean? In the best way possible. Yeah. With nothing but respect.

I'm in the middle of auditioning multiple kinds of, I bought one kind of boxers from a few different brands to sleep in so that I could land on one ultimate pair of sleeping boxers so that I could buy a hundred of them. And I hate it because right now- Do you like love Excel spreadsheets? There was a time when I would, listen I spent some time in an Excel spreadsheet now and again, wouldn't be afraid of it.

Did I once compare the Chase Sapphire and the Amex Blue based on what percentage of my income was going towards gas, towards groceries, towards restaurants, towards travel, and to discover where you would hit the line in which the Amex Blue was a better cash back card than the Chase Sapphire? No.

I've done that. I've done very good. There's a dad inside all of us. And I think that's where we have to leave it. All right, we come back. We'll end on a high note. And we're back. All right, here it is'll end on a high note. And we're back. All right, here it is, this week's high note.

Hi, I love it. My high note is that earlier this year in May, I was awarded tenure. I'm a psychology professor in the Midwest, and I'm just so excited to finally be the only kind of professor that you could ever see yourself being. But really, I'm very excited to get to continue teaching my students. And this year, I'm developing resources so that they can know how they can vote in November. Just so excited. And that's my high note. Love the show and can't wait to see you on Survivor. Thanks, everybody who sent in a high note tonight. If you want to leave us a message about something that made you hopeful,

send us a voice memo to lowlyhighnotes at gmail.com. Or if you're a Friend of the Pod subscriber, you can leave it in the Friend of the Pod Discord in the Love It or Leave It channel or the High Notes channel. And then maybe you get to hear it on the show, you know, or maybe not. But probably. But probably. But probably. Don't get as many as we used to. Submit those high notes. Alright.

That is our show. Thank you so much to Alison Reese, to Hari Kambbalu, to Pete Holmes. There are 86 days until the 2024 elections. Have a great night and have a great weekend. Love it or Leave it is a crooked media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, Chris Lord is our producer, and Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles and Mohanad El-Sheikhi

are our writers. Evan Sutton is our editor, Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support, Stephen Colon is our audio engineer and Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by Shure Shure. Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast, and to our digital producers, David Tolles, Claudia Shang, Nia Kelman and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast, and to our digital producers, David Tolles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can. Love it or leave it. It's love it or leave it.