Lovett or Leave It - What a Weekday: A Good Walk Spoiled
Episode Date: September 17, 2024Swifties, engage! It’s What A Weekday! This Tuesday, Lovett takes on the rightwing response to a second assassination plot, Trump’s Taylor Swift rage, the latest pet-eating propaganda cycle, and J...D Vance’s interpretation of love thy neighbor. Spoiler alert: it’s pretty selective! We also take a sneak peek at a clip of Lovett on this upcoming season of Survivor. Will he survive? Only one way to find out! And since you’ve read this far into the description, please go to votesaveamerica.com/vote and double-check your voter registration right now. Tell your friends to do it too! Okay, now get out of here, you crazy kids.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I ordered Levain cookies and I ordered,
I was like, I'm going to a funeral.
I should bring something.
I should eat a bunch of cookies before I go.
So I bought a box of cookies and I didn't realize that,
I just said, oh, I'll buy this box.
I didn't realize it was like you could fit
any number of cookies in the box.
So I just clicked six because that was the minimum.
Then this fancy box of cookies comes and first of all,
it's in a beautiful blue tin with people on the outside.
I was like, I don't think this is appropriate.
It's too celebratory to bring.
Then I opened it.
Just got to draw sad faces on it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Then I opened the box of cookies.
It's so expensive for a box of cookies.
Because I had only ordered six,
it looked like I had eaten two.
ALL LAUGH
And so it was like, well, now I can't bring this at all
because there's nothing to be done.
Like, I... There was no solution.
I was like trying to rearrange the six cookies
to look like more cookies, but it wasn't.
And it's good because you touched it all of them then.
Well, they were in a little bag, but yes, to your point.
And so I couldn't, so I just kept them. You're not a man who has a decorative plate in the home
Oh, I do have a decorative plate in the home
You should have taken them on the deck without what I'm going back calling the this bereaved people in a couple weeks
It's a I'm coming back for my plate. Do I take the plate at the end of the day?
I didn't can't bring on a paper plate. It sounds like you just it self-sabotage the way that made you
Six gigantic which also sounds great.
I also brought, I also had ordered a loaf of bread,
so I brought that.
Okay.
And I got to keep the cookies.
In a way, maybe I'd always plan that.
Yeah.
["Sweet Home Alone"]
And we're back!
I'm Jon Lovett, I'm here with writers Hallie and Lazarus and producer Kendra.
Let's get into it.
What a weekday.
A suspect is facing gun charges following a foiled assassination attempt against Donald
Trump at his West Palm Beach golf course on Sunday.
God isn't done with Donald Trump yet.
The server keeps coming back to the table and God keeps saying, I'm picking at it.
And Jimmy Carter actually, still working on that too.
But you can take James Earl Jones.
I'm done with James Earl Jones.
I'm done.
RIP.
RIP.
One of the best to ever do it.
Had some real interesting opinions about black women.
Oh.
Oh.
James Earl Jones.
Oh, I don't think she means interesting in a good way.
Let's leave that, let's leave that on mind.
50, he's dead.
Remember the Sandlot?
Love the Sandlot.
I love the Sandlot.
My mom always was of the opinion
that when they revealed Darth Vader,
it should have just been James Earl Jones.
And I remember it could be like,
well, that wouldn't make sense.
And now seeing all of the movies,
I'm like, they could have read it.
No, they actually could have gotten out of that.
Yeah, there's no, I just met, he should have been, yeah.
Yeah, when they went back, by the way,
and they put Hayden Christensen's face
in the face of Darth Vader when he removes the helmet.
Did they do?
I believe so, yeah.
Wow.
Isn't it, or no, no, they made him the ghost waving
instead of-
There was a ghost.
There was a ghost, yeah.
Anyway, it could have been James Charles Jones.
But yeah, like why would he be the ghost of that age
when he died later?
And he should have died James Charles Jones.
Look, I think if Love it or leave it, colon,
what a weekday has ever been clear about anything
is that we believe James Earl Jones as a state
should sell the rights to Disney
so that young James Earl Jones
can be put into 1977 Star Wars.
I haven't seen Star Wars.
Oh, come on.
It's okay.
What do you mean you haven't seen Star Wars?
Can you imagine her sitting through Star Wars?
Yes, she's very patient.
I imagine it right now.
She's the only person in this room
that has any kind of recognizable attention span.
I get pictures watching Star Wars. I get this picture.
Picture Sarah Lazarus just sitting down and reading Middlemarch.
So, yeah, I think I can see her.
Yeah, of course. Middlemarch.
It's a summer.
I don't want that for you, FYI. Star Wars?
Yeah.
There's too many now.
Don't start now.
It's over.
Sorry.
58-year-old Ryan Wesley Routh was arrested after the Secret Service noticed him with
a rifle within 500 yards of Trump while the former president was playing a round of golf
and opened fire.
Routh fled without firing a shot. I hate to think what might've happened
if Routh hadn't shouted, four!
To have Routh and rifle in the same sentence,
I'm gonna give you this.
We stumbled a little.
It's hard.
Routh and rifle.
Yeah.
Really inconvenient for you.
Routh the former roofing.
Routh the former roofing.
Routh the former roofer with a rifle. Routh the former roing route, the former roofing route, the former roofer with the route, the
former roofer with the rifle route, the former roofer broke him route, the former roofing
contractor from North Carolina had voted for Trump donated to Tulsi Gabbard, Andrew Yang,
Tom Steyer, better work and Elizabeth Warren and tweeted a Nikki Haley urging her to join
a Vivek Ramaswamy ticket.
Ralph also had expressed support for President Biden.
When a man on hinge lists his political views as moderate, this is what he means.
I miss when would-be assassins had simple, clear motives that made sense, like,
I love Jodie Foster.
In an interview with the New York Times in 2023, Routh said he had traveled to Ukraine
and wanted to recruit Afghan soldiers to join the fight.
One problem, Routh was in his mid-50s and had no military experience.
I know we're all thinking this,
but why the fuck was this guy interviewed
by the New York Times in 2023?
Well, he and his wife, an anthropology professor,
had recently opened their marriage
after she had met a museum docent named Annabeth
at a friend's book launch.
No, that's not why.
It was a piece about randos trying to fight in Ukraine,
even though they were unqualified
and or nuts and or full of shit.
Ralph also appears to have been arrested in 2002 after barricading himself in a Greensboro
in North Carolina building with a fully automatic machine gun.
And the ticket for that is $72, which doubles if it's your second offense.
So they take it pretty seriously.
Florida governor Ron DeSantis said Florida would be conducting its own investigation
into the foil plot.
Thanks FBI, but these alligators with magnifying glasses will take it from here.
DeSantis cited the investigations into Trump as the reason.
I look at the federal government with all due respect to them, you know, those same
agencies that are prosecuting Trump in that jurisdiction are now going to be investigating
this. I just think that that may not be the best thing
for this country.
I mean, what are these agencies supposed to do?
Investigate two criminals at once?
We haven't seen Ron DeSantis in a while.
And I just forgot how charming he is
and his great stage presence.
I want to say whoever is advising him on his hair color,
it's too harsh.
His hair color?
Whoever's dying it.
They've got, it's, it'd be too much of a decision. It's too, it's too harsh. His hair color? Whoever's dying it, they've got, it's too much of a decision, it's too harsh on me.
It needs more, not highlights,
but it needs more of the gray that we know is-
Right, a variety.
Some pepper.
Yeah, this is, we're going, this is how Trump's begins.
He means like, I gotta cover the gray,
and it's like, no, no, you look,
you're starting to look cartoonish.
Yeah.
But I guess that's what he wants anyways,
to be a cartoon of a man.
Yeah, I just, you know, I don't think,
I don't think they have the best taste
and I don't think they have access to the best talent
when it comes to-
Not like us.
Not like us.
Not like us, baby.
Not like us.
When I look at some of what's going on with the looks-
Yeah, the looks are tough.
On the right, they're just,
they're not setting their best.
They're pressing the same button and the button's all fucked up.
It's all sticky when you touch it.
Republican lawmakers very quickly decided to blame Democrats,
with Florida Congress and Mike Wall saying this on Fox News.
This rhetoric against President Trump,
this narrative that he will be the next dictator,
that he is the next Hitler coming,
it has got to stop.
Enough is enough.
And when you have this narrative coming from the left,
from media, from elected officials even,
that Trump has to be stopped by any means necessary,
it shouldn't surprise anyone
that these people are being radicalized
and taking action like this.
Of course, the person most famous for saying Trump could be America's Hitler is
JD Vance. So take it up with that freak. And of course, Democrats aren't saying to stop
Trump by any means necessary. I've literally not heard a Democrat say that. They are saying,
stop him by the one legal means available. That's it. That's our plan. The one legal means
available. That's what we're all focused on. Donald Trump is a threat to democracy in part because he encourages political
violence, which is a threat to democracy. Our problem is not with even Donald Trump as a person.
It is the threat that he poses, which is the same threat that any form of political violence poses.
It's a threat to democracy when some narcissistic wackadoo takes a shot at Donald Trump, and
it's a threat to democracy when Donald Trump encourages the overthrow of the US Capitol.
It's all part of the same big fucking threat to democracy, and we're allowed to talk about
both of them.
It's frustrating to me.
Oh no, a crazy person did something awful.
Now we can't tell the truth about Donald Trump.
Nice try.
In a now deleted post, Elon Musk wrote on Sunday,
and no one is even trying to assassinate Biden,
Kamala, followed by a thinking face emoji.
For the first time in my, I don't know.
We'll just do it.
We can cut it.
For the first time in my life,
I feel like saying, go back to Africa.
Jesus Christ.
I didn't write it.
Whatever I'm doing, I don't know if I can, even in this guy, it feels so strange write it. Whatever I'm reading, whatever I'm writing. I don't know if I can even in this guy,
it feels strange saying it.
Anyway, it's interesting that Elon included the thinking emoji.
It's like, oh, so he does know about thinking.
Musk deleted the post then said,
well, one lesson I've learned is that just because I
say something to a group and they laugh,
doesn't mean it's going to be all that hilarious as opposed to on X.
Damn, yeah, I guess not everyone has as awesome
a sense of humor as the people who need to get through this.
Elon management 101, everybody is a replaceable cog
in the machine that serves me meeting
without getting fired.
That is one of the most revealing and depressing things
I've ever heard anybody say. I'm glad I've never had to say anything like that.
The people I pay to hang out with me are actually the least likely to laugh at
my jokes because of how much they respect me.
Isn't that right?
Kind of.
I actually think it is kind of true.
Yeah, we're past that point.
We're not going to laugh just to make you happy.
What would that even look like?
What's crazy about that is like, no they didn't. Like it's like he did not say that out loud to anyone. He's not around anyone. He's just doing KenaMean in a windowless room at the basement.
He's like everyone laughed. I'm like, are they there? Who's they?
Who's they? It's like, both are pretty sad,
but let's take him at his word.
The pathetic yes-men goons surrounding Donald Trump,
Elon Musk at this point are just,
of course they're laughing.
They're just trying to get through the day.
You pay them all.
They're just gonna drive home in their Cybertruck
and their foot's gonna go down a little bit farther.
Yeah.
A little heavy.
I hate those cyber trucks.
I just, I laugh every time I see one.
It never gets less funny.
I take the bus.
Yeah.
We're bus buddies.
I've never seen a movie and I can't drive.
Yeah.
I don't know if you know this,
but stay tuned to Sarah Lazarus' new
Trad Life YouTube channel. So anyway, after he tweeted his excuse that people in
the room laughed, he also posted, turns out, this is a quote, that jokes are way less funny
if people don't know the context and the delivery is plain text. For those who don't understand,
the context was assassination. Yeah, man.
No one's ever written a joke in text before.
Yeah, there's never been a funny tweet.
Never been a funny tweet.
Can't be done.
In a Monday interview with Fox News Digital, Trump himself blamed Biden and Harris for
the attempt on his life, saying of the Palm Beach gunman, he believed the rhetoric of
Biden and Harris and he acted on it.
Their rhetoric is causing me to be shot at when I am the one who's going to save the country and they are the ones that are destroying the country,
both from the inside and out. Trump is right. Browse seems to be only the latest violent
extremist to be radicalized. Some would say activated by Harris's call to cut taxes for
first time home buyers and restore the earned income tax credit. Trump then added of Democrats,
quote, they use highly inflammatory language. I can use it too far better than they can, but I don't. That's right, everybody. The Trump
who jokes about gun owners killing Hillary Clinton refuses this week to condemn threats
of violence in Springfield, Ohio, encourages and now says he'll pardon the January 6th
insurrectionists, promises a bloody mass deportation, threatens to deploy troops against protesters
on American soil. And you asked his defense secretary if they could just, quote, shoot protesters in 2020. The guy that said all that, that guy,
his phaser is still set to stun. I do think Trump is telling the truth that he could be more
inflammatory. Sure, it's kind of hard to picture, but when Simone Biles says she can do an even
crazier flip that no one's ever thought of. You take her at her word.
Speaking of inflammatory language, Dady Vance spoke to Georgia's Faith and Freedom Coalition
on Monday and had the stones to say this after rallying every racist in America against immigrants
in his home state.
I do think that we should take this opportunity to call for a reduction in the ridiculous
and inflammatory political rhetoric coming from too many corners of our politics.
We cannot tell the American people
that one candidate is a fascist, and if he's elected,
it is gonna be the end of American democracy.
Yeah, man, totally. Here's Trump.
You know all about that. Take away our energy,
if you can believe it. No fossil fuel.
Destroy our second
amendment. Attack the right to life and replace American freedom with left-wing fascism. Left-wing,
we're going left-wing all the way. Fascists, they are fascists. Some of them, not all of
them, but some of them, but they're getting closer and closer. We have to win this election.
Here's some more of JD Vance. While we're disparaged by the media
and disparaged by the Democrats
as people who want to force our faith on other people,
I think I speak for every single person in this room saying,
we don't want to force our faith on anybody.
What we want is to recognize and to have motivate us the
faith that is I think the source of all great truth in human history and
especially in this country. That we want our public policy to be motivated by the
wisdom of loving thy neighbor. Yeah, no, totally a loving thy neighbor vibe from
JD Vance over the past week as they make up a racist conspiracy theory
about legal immigrants whose only crime is going to a town in Ohio because the businesses
said, hey, come to our town.
We have jobs for legal immigrants like you.
They did it.
They did what he asked them to do.
And now he is making up a story about how they are eating neighborhood pets.
I don't like this guy.
This is white Christian supremacy.
This is just like a bald example of their hypocrisy, where he's like, love thy neighbor, and also, I, Judy Vance, should be in control of who you consider your neighbor, including your actual neighbors.
Like I should be, I will tell you to turn against
your actual neighbors in your town.
While I speak out of the other side of my mouth
about these Christian values, it's embarrassing.
And at least I'd be sure everyone watching this,
you already know that.
It's just so insane to see it so clearly.
And again, I'm from Ohio, so this doesn't shock me in any way,
but yeah, it's disgusting.
You ate cats, right?
Oh yeah, that's none of anyone's business.
I would eat a cat if I had to.
It just didn't come up.
Well, you never have to.
I never had to.
Did it make you do that on the island?
Let's keep going.
Hey, don't go anywhere.
There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
You know what's shockingly nasty, and I did not remember this?
Insomnia cookies. Not good.
No, I ordered them the other night. Bad.
I would say that, I don't know, there's one that just opened near us.
Crumble cookies.
Ugh. They're too damn sweet. They crumble cookies. They're too damn sweet.
They're disgusting.
They're too goddamn sweet.
There's no distinction between the flavor of any of those cookies.
It's just sugar cookies.
It's not good.
Anyway, ahead of his second brush with an assassination attempt, Donald Trump had his
mind on important national matters, lashing out at Taylor Swift over her endorsement of
Kamala Harris.
Trump wrote, in all caps, on True Social on Sunday, I hate Taylor Swift over her endorsement of Kamala Harris. Trump wrote, in all caps, on True Social on Sunday,
I hate Taylor Swift.
What?
Oh, guys, guys, hey, hey, we don't need the alarms.
I'm just quoting Trump.
I'm not saying that, I'm not saying that.
Stand down, Swifties.
Swift hadn't responded to the post,
but then the Swifties had been activated.
The hashtag, I love Taylor Swift,
was trending by Monday morning. Said Travis Kelsey, I hashtag love spending time with Taylor Swift.
I hashtag could see myself loving Taylor Swift, but I'm not there yet, but want to get there.
I don't know if he loves Taylor Swift or not, but it's funny to think about not being at the point of saying it while people are hashtagging it on the internet.
I wonder if they're there yet.
Do you think they're in love?
Let's all go around.
You think they're in love?
You know, I don't presume to know people's private lives.
I'm gonna go no.
What do you guys think?
I think Ben Affleck and JLo have more.
Okay.
Yeah, I get to that.
I think they've said it.
I don't know if there's substance behind it.
Oh, wow.
That's an interesting take. That's an interesting take.
That's an interesting take.
Yeah.
Isn't that a funny, it's a funny thing that,
like in a culture where people say I love you all the time
in ways that are like pretty embarrassing
and not true and silly, like people that have just met
will say it as they're leaving a party,
people will say it at the end of a Zoom.
But inside of relationships,
it has such importance.
Even in times where it would be easier to say it,
people still don't. There's this real kind of ethic,
I think a lot of people have around saying the word,
even if they would say,
lie to get around things
in small ways like we all do in other settings.
I think it's interesting.
I think it's like we all have this feeling and desire
for what feels like real love.
And I think a lot of us have it, like, yeah,
like love is used so frequently that it's like,
when you're in a relationship, it's like,
you want it to mean something more
than when you're leaving a party.
Yeah.
It's sacred.
I mean, that's beautiful.
Yeah. It's sacred.
I mean, that's beautiful.
Yeah.
It is sacred.
I hope they are in love or will fall in love.
I do too. I do too.
And then I hope she turns the... I hope she turns all her fans against Donald Trump while she's at it.
And then, do you see that Billie Eilish endorsed Kamala today and directed people?
What about Phineas?
Phineas too. Thank God. Phineas too. All the Phineas heads out people. What about Phineas? Phineas too.
Thank God.
Phineas too.
All the Phineas heads out there.
We got Phineas everybody.
Meanwhile, the Springfield woman responsible for posting
the fake rumor to Facebook accusing Haitian immigrants
of eating pets admitted she had no evidence of the claim.
Guess that cat's finally out of the bag.
The to-go bag.
All right.
In Lee's original post, she alleged her neighbor's daughter's friend had seen Haitian immigrants eating her missing cat in the neighborhood.
Who's laughing now?
Said Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend.
He added, ow, my testicles, my giant testicles.
Springfield's Clark College closed its campus and will hold classes virtually this week after receive threats of a shooting and a bomb threat over
The weekend police also responded to bomb threats against two local elementary schools as well as City Hall
Even if you believe the racist lie Trump and Vance are spreading walk me through the logic of this
I don't understand. I do not understand
Even in a broken fucked up world where people believe this bullshit enough to be motivated
to support Donald Trump and JD Vance,
I do not understand the mindset of someone
who sees this on the news and then tries to ruin
a bunch of kids' days.
Like, who wins because of that?
I don't, like, I can't get in the head of a person
who would do that.
It's just racism.
It's just raw racism that's being activated.
Like, there is no coherence to it because it's like,
yeah, it's a dead ideology they're trying to awaken.
And this is it.
It just comes out like in this horrible way.
But then, do they believe the kids at the school
are Haitian?
No, that's the thing.
It's racism, but also combined with the intrinsic laziness
of the GOP, where we're not even gonna look up like
a church, a Catholic church maybe
that Haitians frequent.
We're not going to look up the community center.
We've seen the name of this college.
Let's just go with that.
Yeah, just Googling what's in Springfield and calling them, unfortunately.
Despite Springfield's mayor and Ohio's governor denouncing this bullshit, on Sunday, Vance
reposted a video that he claimed to be African immigrants in Dayton, Ohio, grilling a cat.
Which is fucking disgusting.
I hate when people post a cooking video without the recipe.
Boo!
Boo!
By the way, like, I do think there's something serious happening here.
There's always been conspiracy theorists, obviously the internet and social media helps
inflame and metastasize that.
And there have always been right-wing kind of paranoid, delusional or just mendacious
people preying on the racism and fears of the right to spread bullshit and help their
side.
It is shocking to see the kind of barrier between the Cooke's and the actual leaders
of the GOP completely breaking down.
It is inconceivable to me that Paul Ryan, who I did not like, would participate in this.
If you go back and look at the rhetoric, even of Sarah Palin in 2008, even at her worst,
doesn't compare to this.
And she was fucking terrible.
Like something really is breaking down.
Like Ted Cruz is sharing completely manufactured fake affidavits accusing ABC News of giving
the questions to Kamala Harris because obviously she won the debate because she knew in advance
they were going to ask about immigration.
Because it was moderated by her sorority.
Oh yes, yes we all, yeah, who went to a different school 12 years later or whatever.
But like, to just spread a baseless rumor and then to try to prove that you're not full
of shit, even though you have admitted you're full of shit by posting a random video of
random people purported to be a video of a cat, which by the way, it's not from a different
part of Ohio, immigrants from a different part, like it's just all despicable.
Vance also made the press rounds on Sunday
and boy was he on message if his message was,
I'm an unlikable, insane person.
I trust my constituents more than I do the American media
that has shown no interest in what's happened
in Springfield until we started sharing cat memes
on the internet.
Yes, the national media refused to spread a rumor
pasted to Facebook, which we now know is untrue.
Let's take a look at what other things
people are posting on Facebook.
My God, they crucified a minion.
Why is the media not talking about the fact
that this minion died for our sins?
My Lord and minion savior.
This minion, have you heard the good news? The minions are dead. The minion died and our sins. My Lord and Minion Savior. This minion, have you heard the good news?
The minions are dead.
The minion died and was reborn.
It's hard to crucify a minion
because part of the whole part of crucifixion,
what makes it work, is you have to break the kneecaps.
Okay, nope, Kendra, fucking good on her.
Wow, I did not know that's what you were going with that.
Kendra, what the fuck, Kendra?
What the fuck?
Ah, the thing about the red direction.
What the fuck was that? It What the fuck? Kendra, what the fuck was that?
It's a harmless image of a minion.
That's the problem.
Minions don't have knees.
Yeah. Also, by the way, canonically.
We're all thinking it.
Yeah.
I mean, it comes to mind.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
What the?
Unbelievable.
Crown of thorns.
Actually, the reason we know that minions can't be crucified is that there's actually clear
differences between the gospel of Matthew and the gospel of Luke on this question.
Unbelievable.
Just immediately jumped out at me.
I'm sorry.
No, listen, Kendra, I say this with love and affection.
You are the strangest person I know
who is allowed to walk around.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Does anyone disagree with me?
No.
Zena got crucified, and it really stayed with me.
Zena the warrior princess?
Yes, Zena the warrior princess.
Okay, we got it.
Now we're all there, all there.
And it really stayed with me.
I didn't know you were crucified in that show.
Yeah. Yeah, there was a whole... It must have been sweet. There know who you were face-finding that show. Yeah.
Yeah, there was a whole Jesus subplot on that show.
Let's move on.
I'm trying a little bit.
While on CNN, Vance also showed a little too much leg.
Not metaphorically, metaphorically.
But it wasn't just a meme.
If I have to create stories so that the American media
actually pays attention to the suffering
of the American people, then that's what I'm going to do, Dana.
We tell ourselves stories in order to live.
A quote by Joan Diddy and Vance.
The idea too that he is using this to draw attention to the suffering of the American
people, the Haitian immigrants who are in Ohio are there on temporary protected status, which
is a legal form of immigration.
That status has been in place since the Haitian earthquake in 2010.
It is an immigration policy that was included in, as we all know, the 1990 Immigration Reform
Act bipartisan bill signed by George H.W. Bush.
Now, of course, we all know that because JD Vance has been drawing attention to that very issue
Over the past two weeks
We all know that when he's talking about
Eliberating the suffering of the American people what he'd want to do to make life better the reforms he'd make to the actual immigration system
At stake the ways in which he'd help build affordable housing the way in which he'd cut the taxes and make life more affordable for the
Middle-class people in Springfield, Ohio.
Oh, wait, he hasn't said a fucking word about any of it.
Nothing, not one policy proposal, just a bunch of mendacious bullshit attacks on Kamala Harris
and Joe Biden in order to whip up an anti-immigrant xenophobic racist fervor.
He offers absolutely like he has been bloviating about this for two weeks.
He has not said a fucking word
about what he would do to make life better
for people in Ohio.
And by the way, he has been their senator.
Their governor is a Republican.
It is a Republican-run state.
He discovered this problem in the last two weeks.
Oh, there's this massive problem
that nobody's paying attention.
You weren't fucking paying attention to it
until you started sharing memes two weeks ago.
I'm sick of talking about this.
They're gonna ban abortion.
Here's my, I don't think it's a conspiracy.
I just think that's just where I think we're at.
I think that he knows they're not gonna get elected.
And so this, from here on out,
it's just going to be opening as many doors as he can
rhetorically for white supremacy.
Anyway, sorry to say that. I'm just sort like, yeah, this is just going to be this.
I just don't think he thinks they're losing.
I think he is a mad, angry, terminally online person.
Like the fact that the last time he did a round of Sunday shows,
it was after his misbegotten launch,
which ended up being focused on his previous comments about Childish Cat Ladies,
which again, they didn't understand how detrimental it would be because they are so online and
so broken.
He now has two weeks where he introduced this incredibly stupid and vile storyline, which
made Trump a joke when he used it in the debate.
And so now he's trying to do cleanup again on the Sunday shows to try to spar with reporters
I do think for him. He's not good at rallies can't buy fucking doughnuts to save his life. He is actually like
Combative interviews with mainstream journalists is probably one of his best settings. He is a very smart person
He is a very sophisticated operator
He knows what he's doing
He can be like an intellectual Zamboni for Trump coming up behind him and
cleaning up the scrapes and the mess and the ice. And so like I do think they're trying
to use him in this way. I just, they're also, I think, trying to, I think they're also trying
to convince themselves that this has now shifted the topic away from Trump failing at the debate
and onto the ground they want
to be arguing on, which is immigration.
But I think the idea that, oh, we're not talking about abortion as much, we're stuck in this
immigration conversation, I think is there some truth to it.
But this is not the immigration topic they want.
This is not about the border.
This is about legal immigration.
This is about a made up and racist conspiracy theory.
I think they have an argument they could be making on the border, but he doesn't get to
make it here.
He's trying to pivot back to it over and over again.
So I do think we just have to be calling it out and saying, this is despicable.
They like the chaos at the border.
And by the way, the reason JD Vance wants to talk about all this weird stuff is because
they know that their agenda is deeply unpopular and we just have to get.
I'm sure we will see this, whether it's Walls at a rally or Kamala Harris at a rally or in interviews
starting to like, cause they haven't really been out there on this yet.
Yeah.
I had a question on that because I was like, I understand the value of just letting this
play out to a certain point, but like they do have to go to Springfield at this point.
Like to me it's like you, one of the, or both of them have to show up and make a statement
and do something just because this seems like it's going to continue perhaps for another week and it's already so dangerous.
Yeah, I think you want I think I whether or not they go there.
I mean, Trump is going to go to Springfield.
I don't know what the exact right way to do it is and whether you need to go there or not.
I do think they need to be up at rallies basically calling out the game, like basically saying this isn't true.
This is a vile
way to drum up chaos and hate, that's what they want to do, but we actually
want to solve the crisis at the border, we actually want to reform our
immigration system, and by the way we want to do all this other stuff to help
not just people in Springfield but people everywhere, and they do not, they
do not have an agenda for you, so that's why they're out here, you know, drumming
up all this bullshit.
If you're sick of this bullshit from Donald Trump
and JD Vance of this endless noise and fighting and chaos
and cruelty and arguing and divisiveness
and trying to pit people against each other
and you'd like some middle-class tax cuts
and abortion protections, we've got a great candidate for you.
And let's put all that, let's get,
we're all sick of this, we're exhausted by it.
I think that's what we'll start to hear. And I think that actually is the thing
that will move us on from this.
Like JD Vance can't move on from this topic.
He's lying and he has to defend it.
The thing that'll close it is Kamala Harris and Tim Wall
is kind of mocking it and putting it in context.
And then we can get to the next fucked up,
insane new cycle coming our way.
It's just gonna be, every week it's gonna be a new nightmare.
Yeah. And that's the latest political headline
On Sunday the stars turned out for a moderately entertaining evening at the Emmys hosted by Eugene and Dan Levy
The ceremony may have been shot for a television audience
But the host made sure their eyebrows played to the back of the room and I say that with so much love as a fellow
Big eyebrowed American and by the way, you know what Canadian?
Can it? Are what? Canadian?
Can it, are they still Canadian? I think they're still Canadian.
Well, I'm a fellow big-eyebrow Canadian, so also,
they look great.
They do look great.
I also think it's, I'm also really happy that
Eugene Levy and Dan Levy and myself and Sarah,
we made it through the thin eyebrow years.
Yeah. Which not enough, there was the thin eyebrow years, it was a dark time through the thin eyebrow years. Yeah.
Which not enough, there was the thin eyebrow years,
it was a dark time for the big eyebrow community.
And we made it through, we held it together.
And now everybody's jealous of our big bushy eyebrows.
Right.
Yeah, Andy Rooney, table for one.
Me, I'm Andy Rooney.
What?
A timely reference.
Shogun, one of the most Emmys of any show in any single year with 18.
Fine, Jesus, I'll watch Shogun.
Didn't realize Shogun was short for show you have to watch or the Emmys will shoot you with a gun.
I haven't seen it, but thankfully my years in the industry have honed my ability to fake it.
I'll show you right now.
Hallie, ask me a question about Shogun.
Well, what do you think of him starting the finale with a-
I gotta go to the bathroom.
I gotta go to the bathroom.
Listen, little showbiz behind the scenes.
We did three takes of that.
The bear won four awards in the comedy categories
and was anticipated to take best comedy,
but in the end, the bear got clowned by Hacks,
which snatched the award for best comedy.
In the end, Hacks just had that special something
that set it apart, and that special something was jokes.
ALL LAUGH
Shout out, by the way, Jen Stansky,
Travis Helwig, former Hallie of the show.
She's part of the extended Crooked Universe. Yeah, Jen Hallie of the show.
She's part of the extended Crooked Universe.
Jen's part of the extended Crooked Universe with Paul and Lucia, so congrats to them.
Hell yeah.
I loved, I thought, I was very happy.
Like, I think the bear is great, but I think it's time that comedy stands up for itself.
We need jokes, we need hard jokes.
Like, I love the bear, but just because it's 30 minutes doesn't make it a comedy.
And like, comedy's really fucking hard. We show that, I doesn't make it a comedy and like like comedies really fucking hard
Yeah, we show that I think we make it look pretty hard
Like this season of hacks was so good So it's just really glad to see it to see it win
I think it's great baby reindeer also took home four wins for limited series included the coveted Emmy for baby is reindeer
I haven't seen the show. Sounds cute though.
I actually have seen it and it's not cute, but it's good.
It's really good.
It's good.
It's dark.
And I really like that the creator of baby reindeer pointed out that it's the opposite
of formulaic.
People say that, like, oh, you got to take a chance on risky stuff.
And then what they're talking about is a procedural,, but get this woman. You know, it's like not that risky, but like Baby Reindeer is genuinely not formulaic.
Like even once, even you watch the first episode and think, boy, this is a strange premise,
you buckle up.
That's like, it gets, it goes, gets so, it's really interesting and where it goes and what?
Their TV shows are better.
Oh, you like the Brits?
Yeah, the Brits.
They're just doing it.
Hey, hey, now, I don't I don't listen.
We do OK. We do OK.
I haven't seen a single dragon coming out of that country.
We got dragons up the yang.
That entire show was filled with Brits.
I know, but it's it's an American.
But yeah, it's got American vibes.
Yeah, American vibes.
I love it. got American vibes. Yeah, American vibes. I love it.
Jelly Roll performed,
I am not okay for the in memoriam segment.
An appropriate choice since those featured in the segment are not okay.
They are in fact dead.
Fans notice some late great noticeable absences from the reel,
including Shelley Duvall, though she's used to getting the acts. Boo boo.
Tease.
Love Shelley Duvall.
I'm Shelley Duvall.
I've had a hard life.
Presenter Candace Bergen jabbed Dan Quayle of her famous critique of her character, Murphy
Brown, for being a single mother.
He joked, joked Bergen, today a Republican candidate for vice president would never attack
a woman for having kids.
Pretty good one.
But JD Vance responded, hey, I won't suffer these insults from you coastal elites, before
ordering a Philly cheesecake al dente and asking to catch she or she and the other workers
are synced up.
Weird guy.
And finally, this Wednesday, I, Jon Lovett, will be making my reality TV debut on Survivor. Spoiler alert, I didn't drown.
Yay!
I haven't been this nervous for something to come out since the thing coming out was me.
Never referred to myself as a thing before.
But you saw it.
And we have a clip.
A lot of people think of Survivor as a test of endurance, as an experiment in deprivation.
But in the end, it comes down to a vote.
And you call it a jury, but really that's an election.
And so for me, I think of Survivor more than anything
as an experiment in democracy.
Now are those real skulls?
Yeah, previous contestants that didn't make it.
Previous contestants that didn't make it.
Well then you gotta keep yours, that's exciting.
I don't know if I believe that you believed
that whole spiel or if you just knew that you needed
to come up with a real good excuse to be away
for seven weeks and make it sound excellent.
Oh.
Why Kendra?
Yeah.
What an easy thing to not say.
Sorry.
No, I do genuinely believe that. I really did. That was part of why I wanted to go on Why Kendra? What an easy thing to not say. Sorry.
No, I do genuinely believe that. I really did. That was part of why I wanted to go on.
And it's been really fun. Like I, I, this morning I did a bunch of interviews with like affiliates all across the country talking about survivor and democracy and vote save America and pod save America.
So like, I do think there's something to it, which is like, especially since the pandemic, I think like there's something about Survivor that's so like unabashedly earnest and positive and
like not cynical that I think is really nice and that I really liked.
You can't ironically crawl through the mud.
Yeah, you can't ironically crawl through the mud.
Or poop in the ocean.
Nope.
Nope.
There's only one way to do that with your whole fucking heart.
I have a question and you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but why did you pack knits?
Yeah, bad luck. Why didn't you go lid-n-s?
The sand?
Cotton. I was like, you're gonna be sweating.
The sand's gonna stick.
Knits on an island.
Such an important point.
Uh-huh.
And something to think about for the next time I go on Survivor.
Great. to think about for the next time I go on Survivor. Anyway, that footage you saw was
the last piece of footage they had before
I January 6th, the Tribal Council.
Look, obviously, I can't talk about what happened in the show,
and you will see it as it airs.
But I will say that I did great in the challenge where we had to
track down and kill the enigmatic Colonel Kurtz.
That seems like a book reference. Lazarus, you know that.
It's both. Well, one is a reference to the book Heart of Darkness.
The other is a reference to Apocalypse Now.
I can't remember where he's a Colonel.
I think it's Mr. Kurtz in the novel,
so Colonel Kurtz would be a reference to Apocalypse Now.
I know.
I'm not seeing that. Damn.
Vietnam's not my thing.
Yeah, it was no one's thing.
-♪ HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HA Yeah, it was no one's thing. Famously. Famously, no one's thing. Of course, there is an election coming up that is almost as important as the Tribal Council.
Today, Tuesday, is National Voter Registration Day, September 17th.
So please go to votesaveamerica.com slash vote.
You can get information about your polling place, how to get a mail-in ballot, how to
get out and be part of the democratic process.
Again, 49 days.
Please sign up.
Do a couple shifts.
I'm going to do some shifts this weekend
for some candidates in California.
You can come say hi to me.
I'll talk about that.
I'll post the details on Elon Musk's health site
or perhaps Instagram.
You're one of the people that's been volunteering
and helping to reach 3 million voters
this election cycle already.
Thank you.
But I know a lot of you have not signed up
because this podcast is surprisingly popular and
It still makes no sense makes no sense to us, but it makes sense to you So please do me a favor pause right now for one second go to vote save America comm slash vote sign up
We just we we just I can't look imagine looking at JD Vance's fucking face
For the next four years as your vice president who has already said if he were in Mike Pence's shoes
He would not have certified the election. So everybody we got a couple more weeks to for the next four years as your vice president, who has already said if he were in Mike Pence's shoes,
he would not have certified the election.
So everybody, we got a couple more weeks
to put these people behind us.
So that's votesaveamerica.com slash vote,
just to check if you're registered
or to send to somebody in your life
to make sure they're registered,
and everybody go to votesaveamerica.com and sign up.
I can't keep asking and you can't keep not doing it.
So just fucking do it.
votesaveamerica.com, this ad has not been authorized
by any candidate or candidates committee, it. So just fucking do it. VoteSaveAmerica.com. This ad has not been authorized by any candidate
or candidates committee, obviously.
And that's our show.
This was a fun one.
Sarah, Kendra, Halle, thank you so much.
As always, see you on the other side of the premier.
Tune in, it's gonna be a whole new world.
Yeah, cause now you'll actually know what happens.
I've got my suspicions.
Okay.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no guessing.
No guessing, no guessing. Oh, right, no, no, no. No guessing. No guessing. No guessing.
See you sluts on Saturday. Oh, leave it, just love it, oh, leave it
Respect it, oh, oh, sex
Love it, oh, leave it, just love it, oh, leave it
Straight, straight, tight
Love it, oh, leave it, just love it, oh, leave it
Respect it, oh, oh, sex Love it or leave it is a crooked media production. It is written and produced by me, John Love it and Lee Eisenberg.
Kendra James is our executive producer, Chris Lord is our producer, and Kennedy Hill is
our associate producer.
Hallie Kiefer is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre,
Will Miles and Mahana Del Shiki are our writers.
Evan Sutton is our editor, Kyle Seglen and Charlotte Landis provide audio support, Stephen
Colon is our audio engineer, and Milo Kim is our videographer.
Our theme song is written and performed by Shure Shure.
Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of our visuals,
which you can't see because this is a podcast,
and to our digital producers, David Tolles, Claudia Shang,
Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote,
for filming and editing video each week so you can.
["It's Love It or Leave It"]
-♪ It's love it or leave it.
You know what holds up?
I was in Chicago this weekend for a wedding,
and I was craving Entenmann's chocolate donuts.
Which I haven't had since I was like 10 probably,
but we got a box and they are still so good.
Do you mean that there's the-
The chocolate frosted.
Chocolate frosted white donut.
Yes.
Oh yeah.
Cause they have those, when I was a kid,
they had the box of six that had the-
Perfect for a funeral.
They had like the vanilla with the little crumbs cookie and the chocolate little crumbs. They were so good
They rock and then they had the soft bake ones
Oh, wow
That takes me back