Lucy & Sam's Perfect Brains - Ep 4: Year Delve

Episode Date: April 19, 2024

Lucy and Samuel have created different systems to record every year that they've been alive. In this sort-of-special episode they take turns blindly choosing different years and discussing them in almost frightening detail. It's called a year delve. Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.  Artwork by Sam Campbell. Theme music by Paul Williams and Sam Campbell. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you are interested in seeing a live show, you really need to go to our respective and respectable websites. To buy tickets to see one of my performances, I might be coming to somewhere near you. I'm doing a bunch of different dates. It's samcambletour.com. I have a new tour starting in September and for information about tickets, you can go to my website. It's Lucy Beaubon. I can go to my website it's Lucy Beaumont I can't remember the website it's dotco.uk but if you just google Lucy Beaumont website it'll come up with it okay thank you bye you gotta know your website I got nothing but love for the boys from above I'm talking God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit. The word is good. Are you ready to hear it?

God always finds you if you're feeling lost. Jesus died for you. He was on a cross. The Holy Spirit is the name of the game. It's Lucy and Sam's perfect brains. One, two, three, four, five, six. Oh, I've got nothing but love for the boys from above. Well hello movers and shakers, names in tomorrow's papers. Welcome to... How are you Lucy? I don't know, how do you know how you are? That's the thing, you've got to just...

Stab in the dark. Yeah, I'd say close your eyes and just speak from the heart. How are you? What if you've got a cold heart? You can't speak from it. Do you think you've got a cold heart? Yeah, I think I've got a warm demeanor, but a cold heart. Oh, really?

I think I've got a sunny disposition, but a cold, bitter heart. And there's not enough names for the heart. Do you find that like the brain, we call it the noggin, we call it the mind, bitter heart. And there's not enough names for the heart. Do you find that like the brain, we call it the noggin, we call it the mind, the heart, it's just the heart. It needs more nicknames. Oh yeah, because it's got chambers, hasn't it? It's got chambers. Someone was telling me it's involved with blood. Who told you that? A few people.

Really? My uncle was a senior nurse for years and I remember clearly him telling me if something has to go wrong with your body majorly, then let it be the heart rather than the brain because they know everything to do with the heart, but they don't know everything to do with the brain. I think they can't get the brain out. They've never actually managed to study one because they just can't, yeah, unlock it. Sadly, I think the brain is the thing that is wearing away on me. Your own personal brain?

I haven't noticed any problems with my heart, but I have noticed a deterioration of the brain at an early age, yeah. I have got to ask, would you be open to a transplant? Of the brain? No. What about we just cut a little bit out and put in another bit of someone else's, just a little bit. So you're just getting 15% of a new brain. Yeah. Lorraine Kellis, someone like that. Yeah. She's, she could, yeah, we can definitely ask. It doesn't hurt to ask. She's sparky, isn't she? And she's Scottish. I'm in Scotland right now. Can you believe that? You're not. I am. But there's nothing. I'm looking at you on a screen. I'm in a building. Nothing screams Scotland to me at all. There's no

sign that you're in Scotland. I really am. I mean, I've just been, I've been walking down the cobblesteading streets and I climbed the mountain this morning Arthur's seat. Oh I love Arthur's seat. So you're in Edinburgh then? Yeah. So it is, well because when I picture Arthur's seat, I picture sort of a seat that you know that maybe you sit in, but it is a mountain is it? Yeah it's just the name of a mountain, they've just given it an interesting name. Are you familiar with Henry Frye's Bobby?

Yeah, yeah he, that's a dog who wanted to see his owner and didn't understand the concept of death. Yeah, do you know it's all made up? It's not true. First of all, run us through the story of Grey Friars Bobby and then poke the holes in the story. A guy had a very needy clingy dog. Yeah.

And the guy died and then the dog just stayed at the graveside for years till the dog died basically. But it's all a fallacy. It's not true. Because I've heard that there was multiple dogs so that like different dogs would play Grey Friars Robbie. Because I've heard that it's not true as well and that different dogs would fulfill that role and they'd be like, get that dog down to the cemetery.

We've got to drum up tourism. Oh, I can believe it. I mean, that's sort of what a zoo is, isn't it? Yeah, it is just sort of, um, replacing animals to drum up business, isn't it? I mean, I really feel like zoos shouldn't replicate the environment that the animal lived in. They should be like, you know, why don't you just have like the monkeys in a cafe? Do you know what I mean? That's such a good idea because you're so right, because they can't ever replicate the conditions because they've only got like a small amount of space, haven't they? Like, you're not going to replicate the Savannah, are they, in Chester? Absolutely not.

And it'll always look cramped. That's why I think it should just be like interesting settings like Wetherspoons or something. Oh, I think you're onto something. Oh, like British Home Stars. Do you remember that? Like a department star from the Flamingos. You're right.

Wethers, what animals would you have in a Wetherspoons? Gosh, maybe the seals. Oh yeah, I could see that. Or maybe because it is like sort of you go into the spoons and it's like, you know, the nocturnal animals, all those sort of like the late night creatures. Sloths and bats. Yeah. And also let's have a big, a big barrel full of clothes. And if the animals want to put them on, they can. Don't make them wear clothes. That's wrong. It's not right. It's wrong. But if they want, if just have a barrel and if they want to put them on, let's have that happen. Oh, that, but

let's hope that they do. Like you said, don't make them. But in answer to your question, Sam, I think I'm all right. Today we've taken on a, yeah, would you call this a challenge, a theorem, what are we up to? Call it what you want. We're delving through the years. And people are so cautious of delving, because those billionaires in the submarine, they delve too deep. But we are not afraid to go deep. So I've written down all the years that you've been alive on bits of paper. I've put them inside this red, what is this? Well, it's from the Airbnb I'm staying at where I think it's for dirty clothes, but I've filled it with the years that Lucy Bourbon has been

alive. And we are going to take turns drawing the years and discussing each year that we've been alive and I guess other things that were going on in the culture at that time. And yeah, some of our favorite memories. What is your system? So I've written down all the years and I've got them all in this red bag. And I've got it on a piece of paper and I'm just going to use my finger intuitively to decide which number I should land on. If I need help, I'll try to like evoke a spirit from the spirit world to guide me. I might not need that, but it's nice to know.

It's nice to know, you know, if you can't decide on something, you can, you know, lean on the occult to help you. There's always spirits around who want to communicate. You can always evoke. People always say that. Have you tried evoking? Have you evoked yet? So we've got sort of, yeah, we've got different systems, but it's basically to get to the same. We're both going to win the race, but you're on foot and I'm in a submarine. We're both doing a painting, I've got a paintbrush and you've got a... And I've got mice with like little painting fingers doing it everywhere. You've got mice and a shovel.

I... So basically we're choosing what we've got, we're selecting years at random and we will be discussing those years. This is a good idea. The people who are like, this sounds, this doesn't make... This is a great idea, by the way. Yeah, and I like the way you say it's a good idea

before we've done it as well. I like the way you say it's a good idea before we've done it as well. Okay. Are you ready? Oh, 2011. 2011. Now, yes, wasn't that the year that Djokovic won his, I think 2011, first year that Djokovic won Wimbledon. Can I say, I hate tennis. Really? I hate everyone who plays it and everyone who buys a ticket to support it. Yep.

I think it's, I hate everything about it, what they wear, the noises they make, the fact that, what I hate most of all is the repetitiveness of it going backwards and forwards with a ball. To me, I would prefer to see random public acts of violence than see a tennis. Okay. So I'm going to now pretend that I'm up in the high chair, I'm the umpire, I'm trying to improve tennis so that it can be more appealing to you. What could we do to the game of tennis so that Lucy Beaumont finds it more appealing?

Put the ball up where it doesn't shine. No, they're not putting the ball up their arses. That's disgusting. Okay, get rid of the ball because that's a problem. They both want it but don't want it. That's what tennis is. To say. them because they both want it but don't want it. That's what tennis is. To say.

Make up your mind Nadal, do you want this thing or not? And could they get on with the rivalry? I don't understand the rivalry in sport. It doesn't matter. Why does it matter who wins? Well you won that trophy, you won the prize money so badly and most of all, and I hate to say this, you want those sponsorship deals. We're talking Adidas, we're talking Nike, and many of the other brands that are associated with these games.

But no one's a winner in this life. We're all decaying. This... But it's just to feel that for just a moment, when you lift that big cup over your head, and I think you get an audience with, you know, some big stars go to watch these tennis matches. I have seen Ben Stiller in the crowd at a tennis match. Yeah, I've been. I saw Naomi Campbell.

Naomi Campbell? I didn't know she played. No, she was just watching. She was watching. Oh, yes. Oh, how far away were you from her? I walked past her. She had massive platform boots on and I had flat shoes and I honestly, I went up to her knee. It was unbelievable. So you could have sort of headbutted her knee if you wanted to? I could have, yeah, oh yeah, I could have done anything to her knee. I don't think she would have felt it.

Yeah. So why were you at that match? I just was invited. I just wanted to go and see what it was all about. And you were disgusted. I was disgusted and I really didn't like the people. Most of the people that go, I didn't see anyone I liked. Really, are they all a bit,

oh, a bit, oh, I went to the Crompington Academy. I don't know where they come from, but they're not people, they're not my people. They're not my people. They're not my people. I do. I like a bit of tennis. I like the rivalries. I like when a total underdog manages to do quite well. When you say underdog, they've been trained, haven't they? They're not like, you know, a road sweeper.

You've got a good point. They have. Yeah. They haven't just come out of nowhere. They're like, oh my goodness. And I also know you are right, I don't like the way they treat the ball boys. Yeah, how do they treat them? I think they cut off their tails when they're born. They keep them in cages and they don't have great diets. No, to keep them small and make them better. They have to bend the knees though. They must be giving them something to keep their joints supple. Everything they eat, they throw on the floor so that they train them to be good at picking things up.

A ball boy won't know what a plate is and won't understand cutlery. Oh God, yeah. Save the ball boys then. Release them into a McDonald's ball pit. Oh, that'd be nice. Oh, what about a big swing and they can just swing above it? Just looking down. That's a great idea. That ball boys are on a big swing above the, I've been on a big swing above Amsterdam. Have you? Yeah, it's like a tourist attraction.

I've never been more, have you ever like gone on a tourist attraction and you thought this is actually so scary and I feel like I'm going to die, but I've got to present a brave face. Yes, I have, yeah, I have. Not very often, but just once on a farm, on a children's farm, it was like a tractor ride that I said to everyone, we're all gonna die. And this tractor. It's horrible.

In Amsterdam, we went to the top of a, yeah, it was like just on top of a building, there's this swing and you swing out over the building. Whoa. And when I'm on it, just before swinging, I am thinking, well, yeah, this is hell. Oh my God. I mean, like most people just get stoned in Amsterdam. Yeah. I'm surprised that that's popular, the swing thing. I just felt, and they're photographing you at the same time. They're like, yep, we'll get a nice photo. And it's, I don't like being photographed when I'm like terrified. And do you think we need more photos from other,

cause it's like, yeah, like when you're on the rollercoaster, I'd like to get photos of people when they find out the price at certain like places. You know, sometimes when the price and you're like, whoa, really? I'd like a photo of that. I'd like a photo of like, you know, those moments where you can't remember if you've

locked the door or not. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I'd love a photo, I would have loved to have captured, I had this really bizarre situation where I couldn't find my mobile phone and so I rang it from my house phone and then I found the phone because it went off, so I got it and then I saw I had a missed call and I could see it was a local number, I didn't recognise it, so I got it. And then I saw I had a missed call. And I could see it was a local number. I didn't recognize it.

So I rang it back. And then my house phone started ringing. So I went and picked up my house phone. And they put the phone down. So I pressed 1471. And the computer voice, she said my mobile phone number but in a different rhythm so I rang it back and my mobile went off. My daughter got both phones and said this has to stop like she knew what was going on.

This must end. This torment must end. But if that could have been photographed, I think it could have been really, really special. So I've got another one from 2011. It was the International Year of Chemistry. I had no idea. It was so successful that they never brought it back again to every year, just that one year. And was everyone, I remember in 2011 doing any chemistry. But then I think we all do chemistry a lot, don't we? Like, isn't it like,

like just breathing is chemistry, isn't it? Is it? I thought chemistry involved different potions and sort of, you know, billowing smoke and a Bunsen burner and all this kind of equipment. I thought you needed a microscope and a Goldran. Well, this is why it should be longer than a year in 2011 because I didn't, you're right, I'm wrong about biology. And it was a year long commemorative event for the achievements of chemistry and its contributions to mankind.

A year long event. A year long, yeah. A lot of things only get a day, you know? Yeah. Like it was like, oh, this is, you know, pancake day, whatever. Yeah, oh, this is, you know, pancake day, whatever. Yeah. Getting a year is, I mean, those chemists must have been over the moon.

Oh God. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to think where I was in 2011. I, I was living around Indrapeeli. I was working, I was making animations for this company. Oh wow. Cause that was your previous job.

I mean, I, yeah, I was doing it out of school. I can't remember how I got the job, but it was like outside news agency. They have these big screens and you'd have like two Red Bulls crash together and then the price would fly out. That sounds good. Well, I'd get in trouble. I'd try and get a bit to, do you know what I mean? Like I'd add arms to the Red Bull cans and they'd be like, we don't want arms, we don't want any legs, no features, just crash together, have the price come up. You wanted to put your stamp on it really, didn't you?

I did, yeah, I was like, let's have the meal deals, let's have them interact, let's have, you know, storylines. People don't like to think out the box, do they? No, people are so comfortable in that box and I live outside the box. I can still see it in the distance, I know it's there. I'm not completely out there, but yeah. I didn't even know there was a box there. I think I'd be leaning on a box and never, I'm like, oh, I have no idea. I was leaning on that. I didn't know what that was.

Lucy, you've been standing on the box the whole time. whole time. All right. So were you doing stand-up at this point? I think I'd just begun, yeah. And I was considered weird. Were you? The first gig I did, I was reading Silence of the Lambs. So I had that book and people were like, what is going on with this guy? Did you know it was strange? Were you just being authentically you? I hadn't got up to the bit with all the murders yet, so I didn't know what was going on. But it's an insane world, isn't it, to be thrown into. Like I was 18

and suddenly you're just like meeting all these people. You're like, there's no way I would be put together, you know, with these people in any other situation. Oh, I mean, when I hear about people starting at like 18, I just think, oh my God, that's incredible. Because what was I? I started in 2010. So how old would I have been? If I was born in 83 and I started in 2010, how old was I? Email us at lucyandsamspreffobrace.gmail.com if you have any ideas of how to solve this equation. What were you talking about when you first began? When I first began, I had someone with me. I was a double act. Really? Yeah, I had a stooge. I had this guy and he just looked weird and he knew he looked weird, but he could drive and he was a lot, without being, he was a lot, a lot bigger than me.

Okay. And he just used to stand behind me and we didn't reference he was there, but he would just sort of mimic me. He drove me there and back and then he started to get a bit cocky and was trying to get more laugh, he was trying to like do more things behind me. I didn't know what he was doing. Causing trouble. Causing trouble, yeah.

And then I thought maybe I should go it alone. But I just took things out of a handbag. I just, my act was I just had stuff in a handbag and I'd take it out and show the audience. So you have this big oath behind you and then you'd sort of reveal things from a bag? A handbag, yeah. Yeah. Would you know what was going to come out of there or this was sort of surprising?

It had like a pizza flyer in there. It was a real one. It was such a mad pizza flyer. It was from Hull, from a takeaway in Hull and it said, oh, I fancy something nice. And then it had a floating halal kebab. And then it had a gangbang burger. You could buy a gangbang burger. And then on the back,

it just had all the emergency numbers. Fire brigade, the police, NHS one, one, one. And so you'd procure that from the bag? Yeah, just talk them through it. And we always worry like, hey, where's the bag? Yeah, have I once left the bag somewhere? I was, it was such a weird thing for someone to find. It had really odd, you had to pour him in.

That was the act really. Yeah, it's hard. It's funny too. I mean, I wonder if I was better back then than I am. I had some good stuff, I think. Well, I'm not sure. Maybe I was. I had one good bit I think about, because I grew up in a small country town and I said, we didn't have a newspaper.

They would write all the news on a pig and the pig would run through the town. They had to cut off one of its legs because it was running too fast and old women couldn't finish their Sudoku puzzles. I thought it was all right, you know. It was really good, yeah. How would he be introduced? It's time for Lucy and the man. They just wouldn't, it meant no.

He wouldn't even be referenced in that. Oh no. And to be honest, I'd forget he was there sometimes. I can't believe this. So that's 2011 and also Osama bin Laden was with, I mean, I say we, they got him. Well, it is we, we all did it to him. Yeah, I feel sort of. We're all part of it.

We are all part of our own consciousness. And the only time you should look into see it, the only time you should look at someone's else's bowl is to see if they have enough. Oh, that's such a lovely analogy. Who told you that? I feel like I read it on a wooden sign at an Airbnb. That's where I get most of my stuff. I do sometimes like replay those things and they help me.

The two that have helped me is Don't Look Sideways and Not My Monkeys, Not My Circus. That one I love. Oh, so that's like saying like, I can't be dealing with that. It's helped me more than like, you know, live within your means. I repeat to myself, not my monkeys, not my circus. As you walk across the road without looking sideways, not my monkeys, not like that. Someone told me like the key to like keeping young and healthy is like keeping your nose out, like keep your nose out of other people's stuff that isn't your business.

Yeah, they're not your monkeys. Just... They're not your monkeys. They're not your monkeys. They're not your circus. I went to school with a guy and he, I mean, I hope it's true. He was, he said, he grew up in India and he said they had this water that was very precious and that thieves would often try to steal the water. And so the family, they had two monkeys and they tied knives to their hands to protect the water. Oh my god. Yeah. So I mean, I don't know what the saying there is, you know, not my water supply. But

yeah, I do think it had a bit of a grisly end. I think the monkeys did stab each other. Not my monkeys, but they were my daggers, but it helped with my water supply. It's not succinct, is it? It needs work. That's why if you are going to have a nugget of wisdom, you've got to workshop it. You can't just, yeah. On Taskmaster, you know the story I told about there was a man who his wife couldn't have children so he got her a monkey.

It was like a sailor or something, right? Yeah, he was a sailor and he went to sea and he brought a monkey back and she dressed the monkey in baby clothes. And then the story that my mum's always told me is the monkey bit her nose off and she bled to death. But someone got in touch with me on Instagram who'd watched the show to say, because it's a really well known story on Hesl Road, which is a fishing community in Hull. And she said, my auntie had a corner shop and she knew the lady who died. And she said it wasn't her nose.

The lady tried to breastfeed the monkey and then the monkey bit her nipple off and that's how she died. Wow. See, that's what happens with these stories. One minute it's a nipple, the next it's a nose, you know? Yeah. I can understand it. Which bit? So obviously she was barren and wanted desperately to have a child and then she's got this monkey

and when she looks at it sort of from a certain angle she goes, it's like my baby. And then just wanted to, yeah. And when you've got, I mean, I'm not a mother, don't, you know. But do you, is breastfeeding, like is it sort of, is it, whoa, I've got to tread carefully here. Is it nice? Is it nice? Yeah, is it something that you like look forward to

or like you feel a real connection? You do in the beginning. Because for me it would feel good, like putting like a headphone into, or like plugging your headphones into your laptop. It's like going camping for more than three nights. Everyone loves camping. Yes. But if you had to camp for three to six months, do you know what I mean? Yeah. Okay, so I would like to breastfeed, but yeah, I just want to do it once. I wouldn't want to do it

more than that. You would like to breastfeed? I want to do everything. But yeah, don't want to be locked into any contracts. But you would like to just to know what it was like? Yeah, from both sides. I want to be the, you know, the fisherwoman and the monkey. Let's just say that. And the sailor? And the sailor, he's the guy who's watching from the doorway, right? Yeah, but he might be on the other one, who knows?

Latched on. Where were you living in 2011? I was living, oh my God, I was living in a bed sit in a nice area in East Finchley in North London with, it was the cheapest flat share I could find. In fact, there was nowhere cheaper in London. I got it from one of their websites, there's like flat share websites. And most of the women who were living there were nice, but there was a couple of fruitcakes.

Oh, there always is. Yeah, yeah. And nothing ruins a bowl of cherries like a cockroach. Yeah. I had the smallest room in the whole house and the room, it was one of those like box rooms and it was so small you couldn't even fit a single bed in. So my dad made me a bed base.

A custom bed. He made me a custom bed but he made it in the same sort of structure as a sort of, you know, decorating table. You know, like a decorator's table where you put wallpaper on. You just like pull out. It's almost like an put wallpaper on, you just pull out, it's almost like an ironing board, basically. Oh yeah, I like those. Basically, it swayed, it moved.

When I sat in it, it swayed. It wasn't stable. It was a bad time in my life. And I didn't have any money and I didn't have any block. I had moved from Hull just with two bin liners of stuff and I had nothing. But I really liked, I was fine until my mum came to visit me and she came and sat in my room and cried and cried about the state of my life.

I thought things were alright. Yeah, sometimes that's no good when people point things out. They go, hey, this reality isn't okay. And you go, oh, no, you are right. Before a certain age, it doesn't matter what you do, does it? Everything's exciting and there's no pressure. Yeah, but you don't feel like you know that you're sort of like, well, I'm flying this spaceship and it's off course.

You don't know. I wish I could go back and just say, just do whatever, have a really great time. That's how I feel. Now I'm 40, I think. Oh God, I was so worried about things and I should have just lightened up a bit. Yeah, I wish I could just blast that

through my younger self. Lighten up. Yeah, you should just get stressed. The day you turn 30, you should get your stress license and now you're allowed to be stressed. Yeah, but then I did get to an age where I lightened up too much and I really needed to myself now to say, come on, take things more seriously. You're taking the piss now. Yeah, you want to just, I mean, although I do feel with stress, don't you feel like we all should feel a little bit like, you know

There's people who are just like yet too blessed to be stressed Like I think there's only so much stress in the universe and where we all need to share Do you know what I mean? Like yeah, if you have none someone else is like going red and they're like they're freaking out Yeah, the taxi driver I have to do Doesn't feel any stress because he doesn't care what people think about him and he doesn't want a lot of money and he hates all aspects of life and he was, he said, he asked me what I did for a living because he commented, he, you know, he thought I lived in quite a substantial size house which he thought was mad. He made it quite clear that why would you want to live

in a substantial size house and he asked me what I did for a living and I didn't want to say, I thought I can't say I'm a comedian because it'll just blow his mind. So I said I was a writer and he said do you write Mills and Boone or 50 Shades of Grey? Whoa! What? What? Mills and Boone or 50 Shades of Grey. Whoa! What did you say? I said, I write romantic novels and he said, what about, and I said to people with arthritis, shut him up.

Sorry, you write romantic novels about people with arthritis? Yeah, he's a misogynist, there's nothing else that could say anything, we didn't talk to each other for the rest of the day. Yeah, there are certain words that'll just shut these people up and arthritis is a huge one. Well, that's about it for this episode. We only really did sort of scratch this. We only really did 2011. I thought we'd do like a few. I thought we'd maybe do maybe 10 years or something.

I think we can probably come back to this. We've got, you know, you've got your bit of paper, I've got my bits of paper. We can do a few more years in the future. I think we should just come back to this. We've got, you know, you've got your bit of paper, I've got my bits of paper. Yeah. We can do a few more years in the future. I think we should just come back to 2011. Do you reckon? Oh yeah, we need to talk about Kevin came out in 2011. Yeah. Yeah, didn't mean either. Well, yeah, I think the, yeah, we need that, yeah, year delve. Is that what you'd call it? Year delve,

life delve? Yeah, but it's not, it's 2011. It was mostly, listen, I'm going to put my hands up. We mainly focused on 2011, but it was a great year. It's a year of chemistry. If there was another year that more than 10 people said we should do, I think we should do it. What if 10 people email saying, yep, more 2011? Then we have to carry on.

I think we should just repeat the same stories as well, 2011. Okay, well, email Lucy and Sam's perfect brains at gmail.com. With any sort of requests and we're happy to do birthday messages for your nephew. Well, I think it's been a great episode. I think you were right. You said it would work and you were right. Did I say that up top? I was like, this is a great idea.

Yeah, you said it's a great idea and it has been a great idea. Prophecy totally fulfilled. If you weren't fulfilled by this prophecy, nothing will ever fulfill you and you need to, you know, what you're doing is not right, it's wrong. Oh, I've got nothing but love for the boys from above. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks.

Visit heartandstroke.ca Hello, it's Rob Orton here. Now I've got a podcast called the Rob Orton Daily Podcast. It's a short poem or story or amusing on a particular subject every single day. What if you commissioned Picasso to paint your house and he just painted it white? Would you be annoyed? Wouldn't it be good if you could pour miracle grow onto other things such as pizzas? Have you ever thought about what a beach might be like if it was made from digestive biscuits?

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