Mark Bell's Power Project - How to WIN the Battle with Alcohol & Addiction - Adam Jablin || MBPP Ep. 884
Episode Date: February 9, 2023In this Podcast Episode, Adam Jablin, Mark Bell, Nsima Inyang, and Andrew Zaragoza talk about how Adam overcame alcohol addiction and is now coaching people to rid themselves of addiction and become t...he best version of themselves. Follow Adam on IG: https://www.instagram.com/adamjablin/ New Power Project Website: https://powerproject.live Join The Power Project Discord: https://discord.gg/yYzthQX5qN Subscribe to the new Power Project Clips Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UC5Df31rlDXm0EJAcKsq1SUw Special perks for our listeners below! ➢https://hostagetape.com/powerproject Free shipping and free bedside tin! ➢https://thecoldplunge.com/ Code POWERPROJECT to save $150!! ➢Enlarging Pumps (This really works): https://bit.ly/powerproject1 Pumps explained: https://youtu.be/qPG9JXjlhpM ➢https://www.vivobarefoot.com/us/powerproject to save 15% off Vivo Barefoot shoes! ➢https://markbellslingshot.com/ Code POWERPROJECT10 for 10% off site wide including Within You supplements! ➢https://mindbullet.com/ Code POWERPROJECT for 20% off! ➢https://bubsnaturals.com Use code POWERPROJECT for 20% of your next order! ➢https://vuoriclothing.com/powerproject to automatically save 20% off your first order at Vuori! ➢https://www.eightsleep.com/powerproject to automatically save $150 off the Pod Pro at 8 Sleep! ➢https://marekhealth.com Use code POWERPROJECT10 for 10% off ALL LABS at Marek Health! Also check out the Power Project Panel: https://marekhealth.com/powerproject Use code POWERPROJECT for $101 off! ➢Piedmontese Beef: https://www.piedmontese.com/ Use Code POWER at checkout for 25% off your order plus FREE 2-Day Shipping on orders of $150 Follow Mark Bell's Power Project Podcast ➢ https://www.PowerProject.live ➢ https://lnk.to/PowerProjectPodcast ➢ Insta: https://www.instagram.com/markbellspowerproject ➢ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/markbellspowerproject FOLLOW Mark Bell ➢ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marksmellybell ➢https://www.tiktok.com/@marksmellybell ➢ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkBellSuperTraining ➢ Twitter: https://twitter.com/marksmellybell Follow Nsima Inyang ➢ https://www.breakthebar.com/learn-more ➢YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/NsimaInyang ➢Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nsimainyang/?hl=en ➢TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nsimayinyang?lang=en Follow Andrew Zaragoza on all platforms ➢ https://direct.me/iamandrewz #PowerProject #Podcast #MarkBell #FitnessPodcast #markbellspowerproject
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, hello.
Yeah, you're good to go.
Yeah.
I think we should just kick this off right away with...
Just jump on in?
Yeah, we should jump right in.
Let's jump right into addiction.
Hell yeah.
I think that's just a great thing to talk about.
So many people suffer from so many different versions of it.
And those of us that aren't addicted, wink, wink, quote, quote, air quotes.
addicted wink wink quote quote air quotes um you know we have a i think i think all of us have a hard time admitting when something's got a you know a hold of us you know in a way whether it's
our coffee or our kratom or our alcohol pornography whatever it might be there might be some shame
around it there might be um things that you just don't feel good or comfortable about.
I don't have a problem with drinking. I only drink a couple times a week. I only drink a couple times
a month. Oh, I've only blacked out a few times from that or whatever the thing is, you have like
some sort of excuse to protect you from it. What has been your experience with addiction over the
years? So I was capped in denial. First, I'll tell you that I'm almost 17 years clean
and sober. July 14,
2006 was my sobriety date.
And, you know, Mark, I could justify
and rationalize anything.
Anything.
Two glasses of wine a day is good for
your heart.
And, dude, I used
to love Flex Magazine, Muscle and Fitness.
Every endorsement spoke to me like, well, if he's doing it, I'm totally fine doing it.
To get honest is probably the hardest part for anybody in addiction.
It's really, really – we were talking about that this morning together.
It's really difficult to get honest about what's really going on inside your heart, inside your mind,
and really looking at the consequences, or at least just what life is showing you,
are the result of your choices. Because we can justify and rationalize anything. So
I'm telling you right now, I was capped in denial. I was the guy,
this is just to show you how crazy I am. I was the guy that when I'm in a treatment center,
I had a counselor look at me and goes,
so do you think your life is unmanageable?
And I'm sitting there like taking stock of my life.
You know, like, well, I just got the car,
just got a big order from Victoria's Secret.
And he's looking at me like I'm crazy and slams on the table.
He's like, Adam, you're in rehab.
That's, that's, I can't even tell you, I can't even tell you that my life's unmanageable while I'm in a rehab center with a counselor.
That's the kind of denial I have.
And you say 17 years clean and sober, clean and sober from what?
So alcohol, you know, I'll use some like recovery language.
So alcohol was my drug of choice, right?
Meaning it was my baby.
It was my bop.
I had alcohol with everything.
But at the end, Xanax, Ambien, Oxycontin, Percocet, Darvacet, Uppers, Downers, Laughers, Screamers.
I mean you name it.
You name it.
And what did your alcoholism look like?
Because I think that, I think right now there's a lot of people that drink.
And they are very much attached to their drinking.
But there seems to be this divide.
People love to have this line, I'm not an alcoholic.
So therefore, I don't have a problem.
Like, how do we know we have a problem and should we demonize
that word alcoholic should we be looking at it you know in a real negative context or is it
something to um just kind of examine like maybe I maybe I do have some alcoholism I think it's
just good to yes I think it's good to be open, to not demonize that label.
Look, alcoholism is now considered a disease.
Now, people will debate about that all day long.
Is it a disease? As of right now, the medical community says you need to be four things to be a disease.
You need to be progressive.
You need to be fatal.
You need to be chronic.
And you need to be primary.
Alcoholism and addiction happens to fit all four of those modules. But to actually really admit
that you have an alcohol problem or you're abusing alcohol or you're an alcoholic, it's an internal
admittance. Now, what's great is if you have somebody, like, look how close you guys are in
the family that you guys have built here. I was really taken back at just how much harmony is in the building.
And, you know, do you remember the other night you called?
You have no idea what you said.
You don't remember.
And you got in a fight with your girl. If there's enough evidence, hopefully you can crack through that denial that someone has that they could actually go, yeah, this is a problem.
This is a problem.
And then, you know, let the healing begin.
For you, did alcoholism look like anything in particular or were you just getting like hammered every night or i mean mark i was a maniac it depended on the night you know it
totally depended upon the night so i was a work hard play hard kind of guy right which was a great
justification plus if i can keep the body looking a certain way if i could stay charismatic on my
game if i can um bring home the, if I could show up to the baseball
games and be a good dad, then who are you to tell me that I have a problem? That was my defense
mechanism. But at the end, it was, I would wait for my ex-wife to go to sleep and I would just
pound him. I would just pound them. And I'm talking about,
sometimes I would drive home, pick up a six pack of Coors Light, slam that on the way home. So six
beers, then rinse my mouth out with Listerine, chew gum, pretend like she didn't smell it,
and then wait for her to go to sleep. And then who knows how much I would drink.
And then wait for her to go to sleep.
And then who knows how much I would drink.
Wake up the next morning at 5 in the morning.
Take coffee and ephedrine.
Sweat it out.
Right?
My heart's pounding out of my freaking chest.
Sweat it out.
And then take Xanax and Pepsod AC all day because I need to calm down.
And my stomach was just torn apart from all the booze.
And at the end, guys, I was living on nothing but bodybuilding supplements.
It's the only thing that my body could break down.
I couldn't break down real food.
So I was taking – so I was – this is 2006, but, you know, Metrix bars and, you know, you name it. Like all the old stuff that we – I was living on this stuff.
And I was living on shakes because it's the only thing that my body could break down.
But I need to keep the illusion up.
And drinking like a sailor and popping pills all day long. Damn. When did you start hiding that? Like you mentioned that, um, you know, you drink before you got home. So your
ex-wife didn't necessarily see how soon into your drinking habit did the, did hiding become a part
of it? Pretty early, pretty early. So I would say when I met my ex-wife,
she was the one that kind of showed this is not normal. Like this is not normal behavior.
And I didn't want to lose her, but I wasn't ready to be honest and take a look at this.
And that's when the hiding started. So I would say probably five years before I got clean and sober
is when I really started to hide
things I mean I was the guy
that I would drink the beer in the fridge
and fill it because she wasn't a drinker
and I would fill it up with water
you know just anything
to get away guys anything to get away
with it anything to get
away with it
do you think you were getting away with it oh anything to get away with it and do you think you were
getting away with it oh yeah i mean it's a great question i never really thought i was an alcoholic
i thought an alcoholic is or okay i thought an addict was chris rock in new jack city remember
that right that's an addict and i thought an alcoholic was a a bum on the street unshaved stinky you know holding a
a bottle you know with a paper bag over it mumbling to himself petting a cat that's not there
that was my definition of an alcoholic but you're a high functioning exactly there's no way i'm an
alcoholic do i party hard you could add so right right? Work hard, play hard. I party hard.
It's 5 o'clock somewhere.
All this nonsense just to justify my behavior.
And as I got more successful, it's very interesting.
You tend to find your circle.
Everyone I knew was drinking and partying hard.
It was kind of like their release where we do this.
You know what I mean?
Drinking was their way of justifying their existence and their success.
So when you're surrounded by that, you know, it's just confirming to you that you're doing the right things.
Like this is how we're supposed to celebrate our success.
It's got to be Apollo Patron.
Hope you guys are enjoying this episode. We continue
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Enjoy the episode. By the way, how early did drinking start for you? Really early. So drinking kind of goes into my story in which even my body transformation.
So when I – I grew up the fat kid.
I was the heavy kid.
My dad, who I love, you know what I mean?
He used to call me El Chubbo.
Not meaning to hurt me.
You know what I mean?
I'm a kid in Jersey in the 80s
he wasn't trying to hurt my feelings or anything
when I was growing up
I'm sorry
El Chubbo
here's El Chubbo
and there was a movie growing up called The Goonies
and there would be this kid called Chunk Shuffle
and they would ask me to do
it bothered me deep down
and the reason I'm bringing that up is
when I moved down to Florida,
I made this quick shift into like I am so sick of looking like this.
I'm sick of it.
And I saw Stallone in Rocky III, right?
Shredded.
Shredded.
And I remember thinking, guys, if I could look like that,
all my problems would go away.
Like everything i feel
like so that was that was the goal sylvester stallone and rocky and my mom would buy me flex
magazine and muscle and fitness and in four short years i went from being the fattest kid in the
class to the best built kid in the class i went from yo adam how many oreos did you eat last night
to hey hey man how much can you bench the The girls liked me. But with the muscles also came, as you guys know, a different skill set.
So I was able to hang out with the older kids.
The older kids were already experimenting.
You know what I mean?
I probably had my first real drink like, oh, I can't wait to actually try this and have fun.
Not like sipping wine at a bar mitzvah or anything.
Not that.
Like I can't wait probably around 14.
Whoa.
And it fixed something inside of me that I didn't wait. Probably around 14. Whoa. And it fixed something
inside of me that I didn't know was broken.
It fixed it.
So now, all those
insecurities, all those fears,
the class clown, make you
laugh with me instead of at me.
That guy left and a
sweet, I was still sweet, but a confident guy came
out. And now my insides
matched my outsides. The outsides
looked like
a part. You know, like, oh, he's a good-looking
guy. He's got a body. But insides, I felt
I was insecure. When I
drank, all the insecurities
went away. So I would have to say
14, 15 was the way I really
enjoyed it.
Was the first one in my high school
to get a fake driver's license from
Delaware. It was terrible, but it worked. Went to Arizona State University because Playboy and
Penthouse Magazine said it was the number one party school in the world, which it was,
and I dominated there. So it was like, it kind of all went hand in hand.
Did you recognize that maybe your reaction to alcohol was different?
Like looking back at it now, do you believe that your reaction and the way alcohol felt to you when you were 14, 15, do you think it like sat with you different, hit you differently than it hits other people?
At that age, I would just say the only thing that was different about me was I didn't know when to say when.
But it looked like we were all having a great time.
It looked like it was affecting me the same way if it was the three of us.
But at 1 o'clock, I'd say you guys would say, okay, it's a night.
And I was like, what do you mean?
Like we're still – there's still plenty of booze and where do you have to go?
So that would be the one thing that I would say was different with me.
I didn't know when to call it.
Do you feel like you had a higher tolerance than some people?
I had a guy.
There was a friend of mine from college who could just go shot for shot for shot for shot.
And he'd be 15, 18 shots deep and people would be done and he'd be like, I'm still good.
Were you like that kind of guy?
I definitely drank competitively.
I mean, I don't want to make it seem like i would have beaten him but at the same time there was
there was a little machoism to it yeah no doubt about it uh i just felt more comfortable drunk
guys and i felt remember the thing we were talking about i mean we'll get into the podcast about that
touchy feely you know you know, worried about.
Well, other people tended to start opening up when they were drunk.
So I started feeling even more comfortable around them because normally when I meet them, there's a wall up.
You know, and I'm like this sensitive guy that wants to see how you're feeling and how everything's doing.
And now I can finally talk to the real person because they had a couple of drinks.
And they're ready to talk like a normal person.
I'm really bad with small talk, even to this day.
You know, I can talk about the Jets and, you know what I mean?
Like, I get it.
You know, we can talk about LeBron.
But at the end of the day, like, I really want to know the person.
Yeah.
And it kind of sounds like, I'm wondering for you, when did the alcoholism start becoming something that was actually affecting your life negatively?
Because from the way you make it sound, right?
You're successful, you're making money.
I don't know what your job was prior, but you seem to, again, be high functioning.
Everything was working well.
So why did you end up, like, why did you end up going to rehab?
What spurred that for you?
It's a great question.
So one of the things I didn't mention were my hangovers were legendary.
You know, my body was getting sick.
There's no doubt about that.
And I was covering it up with success and running the family business.
And we were, let's see, the number one lace manufacturer in the world,
like Victoria's Secrets, La Perla, Hanky Panky.
Oh.
Yeah, we were the number one.
And it was a family business.
I was third generation.
I was telling Mark this morning.
I had two really big shadows to fill out.
We were talking, like, you know, my grandfather,
who really started the business, he was Joe Montana.
And then my dad came in and he was Tom Brady.
You know what I mean?
And I just was – I didn't know how I was going to live up to these two icons.
What led up to the intervention and the drinking is – what we're not talking about was my behavior.
My behavior when I would drink.
How I was acting with my ex-wife i'm never physically abusive but i mean i was full of shit so eventually when i was
drinking i would let that anger out and i was and i just i would just had it and then not just that
but when i was drinking i was i was getting sloppy um then'm hanging, I'm hung over the next day.
I'm not feeling well.
I'm,
you know,
I'm constantly taking before,
you know,
saunas and steams were like,
now it's like,
if you don't saw on a steam into a cold plunge,
you have no idea how to be fit.
You know what I mean?
Like I swear,
but,
but I was,
you know,
sauna every day just to,
just to sweat the toxins out and see what I,
what I wasn't mentioning was i was getting more miserable
i was getting i just didn't see what life was all about you know and i just wanted that next drink
everything was planned around you know how we would we'll plan our lives around our workout
what's important to us everything was planned around drinking you know i mean it wasn't drinking i had to squeeze
its way in i had to plan you know so i had to have it everywhere i would have i would have it
hidden over here i mean it was it became an all-consuming job and then the i'm just curious
too about the escalation to the xanax and other stuff that you're mentioning when did that stuff
start coming into the picture okay so i started taking Xanax because my ex-wife hated my drinking.
And there was no way that I could get through life without drinking.
You know what I mean?
That was my baba.
That was my coping mechanism.
But when I found Xanax, oh, hey, that kind of gives you a nice little sedated feel.
And with the way my body is wired and with my addictive habits you know i started popping
xanax like tic tacs i found oxycontin percocet and darvaset from when i tore my acl you know
and i wasn't i never thought i was a pain addict but you know you know once you start getting those
things in you you know then i started taking that stuff so i don't feel my injuries in the gym
you know and and back in the day you take like a little no explode and a couple of percocets
and i'm telling you like i would i great workouts wow i yeah i was crazy and then after my heart
would be pounding out of my chest so i would take a xanax You have to remember in the morning, I'm taking coffee and ephedrine to sweat it out.
You know, being an alcoholic and an addict
and somebody that wants to appear fit
and be highly functional
was an all-consuming, torturous job.
With no spirituality, mind you.
I hope that comes into the show.
No spirituality, no higher power,
no really what is the meaning of life, what is
the purpose, just how do I get through the next day to the next one? Paparazzi family, how's it
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You went to a rehab center
and was that first go of it,
was that successful?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I got blessed in that department.
Now, I didn't know anything about recovery, guys.
So this whole thing was a foreign concept.
But I had the most torturous 10 days in treatment, the first 10 days.
And I thought I had – in my intervention – let me explain it this way.
In my intervention, my interventionist was like – he lights up when he sees that I'm willing to do this.
I'm willing to go to rehab.
And when he mentions 28 days,
I freaked out. I was like, 28 days? Imagine I'm telling you you're going to leave for 28 days in the middle of the day out of your life. Where am I going to go for, where are we going to tell
people that I am for 28 days? How am I going to vanish? And my family was very concerned,
very worried. And they were like, listen, we got it all covered. Don't worry.
We'll say you went to New Hampshire to work at the family business there
or you just had a child and you spent time.
So they had all of the excuses covered for me,
and it's very healthy for me to admit, think about this.
Everyone that I love has now intervened in my life,
and I'm still worried about what other people are thinking about me.
Just so you can see where my mind is at.
The 28 days is not sitting well with me.
And finally he goes, okay, what about 10 days?
How about 10 days to see if you even have this thing?
And I was like, 10 days I can do.
And I went in with this idea that I was going to be the most dedicated,
disciplined rehab patient they've ever seen.
And they'll see within a few days, there's nothing wrong with this guy.
It's obviously his family.
It's the pressures of the family business. It's the stress.
Like there's no way this guy has a problem.
And that was the way I went in.
Like nobody's going to outwork me in rehab.
Yeah.
Okay.
went in like nobody's gonna outwork me in rehab yeah okay like and everything I was being taught was backfiring me backfiring on me you know things like there was there was a poster mark
there was a poster with make the appropriate face with the appropriate emotion here's happy with the
smiley face here's a frown for sad here's a weird one for confused I was always smiling
you mean I would smile at you when always smiling you mean i i would smile at
you when i wanted to kill you i would smile at you when i was depressed i was i was always you
know i mean i was full of shit so obviously a lot of alcoholics and addicts right and this poster
wasn't made for me so obviously a lot of alcoholics and addicts have a problem with honesty and showing
the proper emotion at the proper time so there was that there's a couple stories that i could
take you through which really opened me up spiritually, you know, really was.
And I started realizing that I was just like all these guys there.
And the reason I'm bringing that up is within those 10 days,
I had a panic attack that now I know was a true spiritual experience,
but something in me died, guys, something.
And that feeling, I've said my a true spiritual experience, but something in me died, guys. Something in me, and that feeling,
I've said my blood pressure over 180,
like something in me died,
and a part of me was reborn.
And I didn't know if that part of me
had to wear a yarmulke,
if I had to be baptized,
if I had to make a vow of poverty.
I didn't know what this guy looked like,
but I knew he was sober.
When I jumped in with both feet into that guy, I never looked back.
And that's why I think it worked the first time.
I truly had a spiritual transformation from within rather than trying to modify my behavior.
Do you think some of that was maybe amplified by sharing your story?
Because I know like a lot of times in rehab or in AA meetings,
sharing your story because I know like a lot of times in rehab or in AA meetings you are just just letting go of of the things that you've done and the things the things that you are and
your behaviors and stuff like that you think that had a huge impact on huge huge impact I mean
sharing your story and then relating to somebody else, listening to somebody else and realizing you're not that different.
You're not that unusual.
Other people feel this way.
And then hearing that other people are worse is probably helpful.
My brother's kind of mentioned like somebody will go and he's like,
okay,
I feel fine about saying what I'm about to say.
Cause that was,
that was fucking wild.
I was just talking to your brother.
It was like two old friends that just found each other,
because we speak the same language.
But there's that.
And also, guys, what they were teaching me was how to be human
and how to actually really live.
And everything that I learned there, it just hit my heart so much.
Like you have to understand, I was just – I had become into such a fraud.
I really thought life was about what I showed you on the outside.
So it was the car and it was the success and it was the money
and it was how the body looked and it was how I sounded
and it was how beautiful my wife is and it was like that.
And I forget about actually
being there for my daughter? Was I the dad that looked like he was there for his daughter?
Everything was everyone's opinion of me. I wasn't there. I wasn't there. So something was happening
me, Mark, like you were saying in this story that I became part of like the human race again. I became part of something, um, something
really, really enriching. And I became fully alive rather than a man half dead. And, um,
it's brought me to this point right now. In the world that we're in right now, it seems like a lot
of particularly young men are very confused about kind of like what they want to be,
how they want to be it.
There's a lot of maybe undue social pressures that people put on themselves via social media.
They're not sure.
They want to try to become something, but they're not sure kind of how to get there.
Do you think that some of the things that you learned in rehab would be beneficial?
And is that some of the stuff that you're trying to teach now?
A hundred percent.
To a lot of young men, period, whether they are addicted to something or not.
A hundred percent.
What I learned in treatment is still, you know, 50% of the foundation of what I pass on to people that I coach either one-on-one, in
groups, or really just in a basic conversation.
So this morning, Mark and I went on a walk, which I loved, by the way.
A couple 10-minute walks strung together.
A couple 10-minute walks.
Walk through it.
Walk through it.
We got to change it and and the reason i'm bringing
that up is just to be honest and open with somebody that you know he doesn't i feel like i
know him like i told you guys i feel like i know you because i watched the podcast uh religiously
but just to be open and honest with somebody that you could bring that kind of spirit into
the conversation,
letting him know,
Oh,
like something occurred to me that I was thinking of your mom.
I've never met you,
but I know your mom passed away.
And I know,
you know,
I remember what a big deal that was within your family.
Like those little things about caring about somebody else,
listening,
how to open up,
how,
how to speak.
These are things that everybody needs.
These are things that everybody needs, These are things that everybody needs,
especially how to start believing in something bigger than yourself,
have a higher calling,
just the foundational principles of how to be a good human
or the first 10 days of rehab.
The spirituality aspect,
because there are many people who don't believe there's any sort of higher power and they're doing fine um there are some people who do believe in that so what
does spirituality and god look like and what did that look like for you in rehab so let's let me go
a little bit before yeah is that okay i used to mock the idea of God. And it used to piss me off. And when my favorite athlete won a fight or caught a touchdown and they're thanking God and they're doing this whole thing in the end zone, I'd be like, get the fuck out of here.
Like, you know, that wasn't God running the route 500 times this week.
And that wasn't God.
You know what I mean?
And would you thank God if you got intercepted?
Was there a reason it pissed you off at the time?
I think because I wanted to believe.
And it just seemed so Disney World, Mickey Mouse, Wish Upon a Star bullshit.
It just seemed like, you know, really?
Like, really?
You're going to thank God now?
You probably saw some of what your family did and the work that they put in. you know, really? Like, really? You're going to thank God now?
You probably saw some of what your family did and the work that they put in.
You're probably like,
I don't believe that has anything to do with God.
They did the work.
They found the right sources, resources.
They put in the hours.
They then made the money.
They then created the brand
and passed it on from one generation to another.
Yeah.
Pick yourself up by your bootstraps.
You know, all – it's just what I was saying.
And somebody else could look at it and say, I'm so grateful that this has been in my family heritage.
And thank God it's been here the whole – you know.
Yeah, not me.
Right?
Somebody can look at it a different way.
Yeah, exactly.
Right.
And I was wired where I was very cynical, very cynical.
And it's really interesting when you – I think that's the greatest gift that I ever got.
The greatest gift was the wall that I had was so high and so thick.
You couldn't – nothing could get through it. And then when I needed this power and I needed this spirituality
and I needed this word God and how it came through in my life to make a non-believer a believer is
freaking huge. It's huge. So I came in cynical. I came in like, this is a bunch of nonsense.
I came in like, oh, okay. So what, like, you know, I think a happy thought like Peter Pan
with Tinkerbell, you're going to give me that and everything's going to turn out good. And when I
started realizing a lot of those principles is yeah, yeah. You know, and we all teach it in
different ways now about positive mindset, about personal development, about keep, you know what I
mean? But you know, this God thing, give me a break. Can I share your story of what really cracked the code real fast? Okay.
Day four in rehab. I'm a Jew from Jersey, right, that now lives in Florida. I'm sitting across
from a Catholic priest named Father Ron Bersha. Sweet, loving guy. He goes, Adam, you know, do me
a favor. Can you extend your arm out? So I extend my arm out, Mark. And he reaches out and he goes like this.
He goes, do you see what I did there?
So I'm looking at my arm.
I look at the father.
I'm like, father, I'm sorry.
I don't see anything.
He goes, oh, okay.
He does it again.
He goes, Adam, do you see what I did that time?
Now I'm uncomfortable.
I start using comedy when I'm uncomfortable.
I'm like, father, I'm Jewish.
I don't know.
Maybe there's a disconnect between you and I.
He starts giggling.
He does it again.
He goes, you see what I left on your arm that time?
Now I'm like, okay, Father, I heard about you guys and little boys.
He turns the lights off, all right?
And he takes a UV light out.
And he puts it on my arm. and I see all of his fingerprints glowing in the dark room.
And he goes, do you think that you could start believing in the power that you can't see, taste, touch, none of the five basic senses that has been all around you, guiding you, protecting you, and brought you here to me?
And I'm watching all of these fingerprints glow.
And I'm like, of these fingerprints glow.
And I'm like,
father,
I can believe I can,
I can,
I can believe.
And he turns the lights on and they all go away.
And I think it's like a magic trick.
I'm like,
do it again,
do it again,
do it.
And,
and he does it again. And the fingerprints are glowing.
And this Catholic priest literally downloaded me into the matrix and, and made me start opening up and realizing, you know, I don't know how all of this works.
I don't know how we can FaceTime each other.
I don't know that there are whales speaking underneath the ocean right now.
There are planes flying over with using radar technology.
They're not even they're not even really looking at where they're going.
I have no idea how this show
is going to truly be transmitted. This is like Star Wars. The worst part is Andrew doesn't know
it. Once I figure it out, I'll let you know. Right? Yeah. I don't even know how when you
turn the lights on that it works, but there's a power greater than that's at work. And once I was
able to open my mind, all these other things started making sense you know
I started becoming open that's why I was trying to tell you about the work that you guys do
I love how open you guys are you know me I've I've watched from a bodybuilding show
to running he said remember when we did the bodybuilding show? Like we, right? Like I was, I was, I was with you. Like I'm a part of it. Right.
Right. So, so we did a bodybuilding show and then we did knees over toes and we
did that flexibility thing that you're doing and we like you guys, but you're
very open. And I think that's the best definition you can give some, when
you're open, so many things can come in.
When you're closed, forget about God.
I mean, if I was still closed, I would still be six small meals a day, pre-workout.
Sleep wouldn't be that important.
Think about how many new ideas have happened.
So being open is what really transformed me.
You mentioned you were Jewish. Were you, you mentioned you were Jewish,
were you a practicing? No, no, no. Not even as a child? None of that when you were a kid?
Because I'm curious about like your, like the way spirituality happened with your family and
you growing up to, I don't know if now you're Catholic or exactly what you do now. I consider
myself a fulfilled Jew, meaning like, i believe jesus was the messiah
okay you know what i mean like that that's those are my personal beliefs yeah but i still love
my jewish faith you know um but having said that if you take all religious content it's like we
were my mom's from israel uh the holy land i would go there every year to see my family
every year now for me family. Every year.
Now for me, as a cynical little boy,
it's like, you know, this place is smaller than the state of New Jersey. It's made out of stone.
Like, you know what I mean?
Like the air conditioning doesn't work right.
I miss cable television.
I can't watch my cartoons.
I'm like, this is the chosen place?
I couldn't wrap my head around all this spirituality,
God mumbo jumbo.
But I was bar mitzvahed and I was taught the beauty of the Jewish religion
without being religious.
Growing up in New Jersey and New York, I got to be honest with you,
Christmas time just looked like more fun.
Big Christmas tree and Santa Claus.
We have no Santa Claus.
We have a dreidel.
You know what I mean? Santa Claus. Come on. I want and Santa Claus. We have no Santa Claus. We have a dreidel. You know what I mean?
Santa Claus.
Come on.
I want a Santa Claus.
But you get eight crazy nights.
Thank God for Adam Sandler.
I was too old.
You know what I mean?
I was too old.
We do get eight crazy nights.
And I'm just using the differences of religion and growing up because that was a great question.
I wasn't pro-religion.
I wasn't anti-religion.
I mean it was – I was definitely proud to be Jewish.
Yeah.
But I wasn't like – I wasn't wearing a Jewish star and most people think I'm Italian anyway and they don't really see what religion I am.
And they don't really see what religion I am.
But having said all of that with religion, my family now is just very grateful of how open I am spiritually.
And we talk about things that are very deep and very meaningful.
You know what I mean?
I love the temple, but I love the Catholic Church.
I love to be informed. I love to be informed.
I love to be informed.
And I think the grateful thing that I have in my heart is that openness.
It's just that openness.
It starts with just opening your mind a little bit, a little bit.
But no, I really had no foundational.
This is, like, listen, in the bar mitzvah, I didn't even know what I was reading.
Baruch atah onayah lehid.
I don't know what the hell, I don't know what this means.
So my relationship with whatever we want to call this, you know, because I don't want to turn anyone off from the show either.
It's fun. So if you want to call it a higher power, God, spirituality, life force, whatever that is, I can tell you that my relationship with it now is sincere.
It's from here. It's from here.
It's from here.
It's not like something I had to memorize.
At some point, you probably really needed to adopt it anyway
because you got isolated, you got put into rehab,
and then you got thrown out on your ass, I think, too, by your wife, right?
Yeah.
And so the combination of those two things,
you being by yourself, probably, I think, too, by your wife, right? Yeah. And so the combination of those two things, you being by yourself,
probably led you to, like, I need to grab on something.
So maybe it kind of forced you to be more open.
No doubt.
I mean, that's probably the best part about rock bottom, right,
is when you could throw out all your old ideas and your old beliefs
and whatever's keeping you stuck,
rock bottom is a great place to be like,
I got no place else to go.
You know what I mean?
And my way got me here because honestly I was,
I love this show so much because of how much it opens my mind in every area.
That's one of the reasons I love the power project it opens my mind
like you know for years you have to understand i thought it was six small meals a day and it was
i was brainwashed you know i mean or i brainwashed myself and then for a while we all did the same
thing and then dorian yates came around and then it was like oh okay wait we're doing it wrong it's
one then the bro split came.
Do you know what I mean?
And it's two or three warm-up sets and it's one max set, you know what I mean?
And Arnold's ways for the birds, you know what I mean?
And like to have a new idea was like, whoa, you know?
Just to show you how my mind works.
So to be open, to be, that's, it informs my fitness.
It informs my nutrition, know i mean keto vegan whatever
like it informs it but most importantly spiritually yeah you know i'm open i'm open to learn i would
like to hear what your beliefs are i'd like to hear what your beliefs are you know i i like that
i'm the sensitive guy that thinks about you know mom or whoever you – like I like the fact that I feel like his mom, whoever you pass away, and my grandmother are right here.
I may sound like a lunatic.
I could care less.
I could care less.
You can't prove that they're not here either.
Curious about this.
When you left – when you got out of rehab because you mentioned like the people that you worked with, all your friends, drinking was also part of their lifestyle.
Like the people that you worked with, all your friends, drinking was also part of their lifestyle.
So when you come out of rehab, how did you – what did you do to stay out of alcohol, pills, et cetera?
Because if everyone you knew, that was the way they lived, it's hard not to go back.
Yeah, 100%. So I believe when anyone's getting into recovery, sober or whatever recovery means to them, like a lot of my clients sometimes it's not always 12 step full sobriety.
Like sometimes they just really want to stop the pain pills and the pot, but they can have a glass of wine and it doesn't trigger alcoholism.
And that was a very big thing for me to learn, by the way, that not everyone's recovery looks the same.
That was something I had to open up to.
But for me, I had to be all in.
I had to attack this like I would attack anything.
So it meant changing people, places, and things.
It meant I would go to these meetings every day sometimes twice a day.
It meant reading this new literature.
Like I was obsessed.
The way we would be obsessed with anything that,
running, you know what I mean?
Like the way you, hello.
You know what I mean?
The way you would get obsessed about something,
it was the same way I was with my recovery.
It was the only way it was going to work with me
because that's how my mind works.
So since I'm an all-in guy,
if I half-assed my recovery or if I just,
I did one of these meetings once a week
and I read a little, it ain't going to last.
It ain't going to, but if I'm all-in,
if I'm all-in, it will, you know, I was immersed.
I was immersed.
And the beautiful part about that is it was all the benefits I was getting, everything that was coming with it. I was
looking better. I was feeling better. I was happier. Things that I used to mock, things that
I used to like roll my eyes out made sense. You know, I was what they say, happier, joyous, and
free. I could have conversations with
people. I was confident in my own skin. I could run the family business as well, if not better
than Joe Montana and Tom Brady. I had all these skills that came out that I didn't know I had.
I didn't know I could speak publicly. I didn't, you know, me being the soft, sensitive guy that
wanted to help people. And, you know, it's kind of weird when you're growing up and you,
you know, you show somebody a boxing move and your coach is like why are you doing that or
you know you you you wrap somebody up instead of laying him out and you're helping him up and your
coach is like chaplain leave him on the floor let him get up himself do you mean what's wrong with
you you know well now i have these skills that i could actually help people through this process and I'm getting rewarded for that.
It was the best thing that ever happened to me.
This was the best thing that ever happened.
And now I'm on the Power Project.
I'm on Mark Bell's Power Project.
I'm in Sacramento.
I don't know how any – I was telling Mark this morning, I couldn't plan this if I tried.
I mean this is not something that I – I had a vision.
I had a strategy.
I wanted to be in personal development. I wanted to be a sober coach and i wasn't
not even close i was making schmattas i was making lace i was you know i mean like
i couldn't plan this if i tried yeah are you still working in that lacing business no no no we sold it
we sold it which is what gave birth to what i call my thing, the hero project, which gave birth to my, to my coaching. No, we sold it. It was, it was time.
Okay. It was time.
So you got yourself away from your addictions and kind of like what was going
on at that point? Like, uh, you were trying to like, uh,
I guess re-immerse yourself, uh,
back into being a dad and being a, I guess,
normal functioning person in society
i tried you know i mean i mean uh this energy that i have now i have all the time so i tried
okay but it just uh i had to finally become adam jablon for the first Javlin for the first time, you know, for the first time, maybe in my life, not, you know,
I want to have this guy's workout.
I want this identity from this person. And I want, I want,
I want to drive this car because that person drives this car.
Or, you know, I want to look like Sylvester Stallone because I want to be
Rocky, you know, I, like I was becoming Adam Javlin for the first time,
which meant it was, it meant things had to change. And, you know,
marriage that I was very proud of and, you know, 20 years that ended.
You said you were so oblivious that you didn't even see it coming.
I didn't see it. Yeah, that's my denial. I didn't see it coming. So
there were a lot of shifts within our family dynamic. And, I will always I will always speak very very highly
of her but the way she had worded it and I understand that was like this is not this is
not what I signed up for you know there was a shift the business was being sold um I was being
called into this other realm of helping people she did not want to have me known whatsoever.
She didn't,
she didn't like the idea.
Her biggest criticism and complaint of me was I was,
I'm too much.
You know what I mean?
I pray and I meditate and I'm running,
I'm exercising and I'm helping people and I'm doing this with the kids.
And it's like,
you know,
and it's a valid,
it's a valid argument. And, um, what I didn't see was I didn't see how far we had grown apart.
And I was the guy, I was the guy that would say to you, you can make anything work.
You can make it what you, I mean, if there's enough therapy and there's enough effort and there's enough, you can make it like I'm that guy.
You can make it.
And what I had to learn was a very hard way was it's not true.
Sometimes things come to an end.
And so, you know, again, I'm always learning, guys.
You know, I'm always learning.
I was the guy that thought you can fight through anything,
but it really takes two to tango.
You need both people to really, really want it in the same way,
in the same capacity.
So I didn't see it coming because I'm the guy, Mark,
that I feel like if you need something or if you need something
and you can't do it, I can do it for you that day.
I can do it for you. Don. I can do it for you.
Don't worry.
I got you.
I got you.
But eventually you have to realize that people need to do things for themselves.
And you need to know where you stop and someone else's start.
And that's been a hard lesson for me, even in coaching.
You know, when I want something more than my client does, that's not good.
And that happens good. Yeah.
And that happens often.
Yeah.
I know you mentioned you've made so many mistakes, but there's a lot of people that are warning men about the dangers of marriage and things to think about prior to getting married.
And obviously you were married for a long time.
You have multiple kids.
Yeah, I have two kids.
You have two kids, right? That I live for.
Absolutely.
You have multiple kids.
Yeah, I have two kids.
You have two kids, right? That I live for.
Absolutely.
And obviously there's so many things that you maybe wish you could have changed.
But if you were going to give somebody advice before getting married, a man, what would you tell them?
Your son.
Your son.
What would you tell them?
That's great.
What would you tell your son to think about prior to getting married to whoever he chooses to get married to it's a great question
so can i be long-winded again absolutely all right so
my dad met my mom when she had just come from Israel to United States and she didn't speak a lick of English,
not a lick. And he met there and the chemistry there was obviously, you know, lust at first
sight and love at first sight. And they went out with a Hebrew English dictionary. Wow. Yeah. And
three weeks later, my dad proposed and every single person warned him, are you crazy?
What are you doing?
You barely know this girl.
You don't even speak the same language.
She's from a different country.
Are you nuts?
Every single person that warned him about this mistake is divorced.
And my mom and dad are still together.
Damn.
So my advice to any young man,
specifically my son would be check your heart,
check your mind,
check your soul.
If I did a good job raising you,
if I did a good job raising you,
that means you can trust how you're feeling in your gut.
You can trust,
you can trust your heart.
And if you,
if this is the one, give me a hug and a kiss.
I can't wait to adopt her in the family.
Because who am I to tell you?
Who am I to tell you?
But I'm not one of these guys that are anti-marriage, that I can promise you.
I think it's a beautiful institution.
And just because mine didn't work, I don't, you know, come on.
Well, yours did work for a
period of time. Yeah. And you have two children
from it. Yeah. So,
did it work or did it not work? Exactly. Like, it worked
for a while and then it turned out
that you guys couldn't be together forever.
Yeah. So what? But I'm pro
marriage. I'm pro marriage. I'm pro
but I think
it's check your heart, check your mind, check your soul, right?
And I got your back.
What would you say made your mother and father's marriage work for so long versus other people?
What did you see that like there that you didn't see in other marriages?
The fact they couldn't communicate.
Maybe that's it.
Like forget it.
I don't know how to tell them this yeah that's a great
oh i hope they watch this god that would make me so happy um i saw two people that really loved
and supported one another and i think the word i'd rather lean on is support one another.
My mom really supported my dad's dreams, ideas, goals.
Doesn't mean they agreed on everything.
Doesn't mean that the household was always quiet and calm and, you know, Santa Claus every day.
Obviously no Santa Claus.
But they supported one another. And at the same time,
you know,
my dad supported my mom in a way that he,
as he even got more successful,
he would financially take care of the family back in Israel.
So I saw people,
two people that at the end of the day,
you know,
look,
who doesn't love sex?
Sex is delicious.
It's wonderful.
It's great. But at the end of it, no matter how good you are, take that, like, I'm going to give you Sex is delicious. It's wonderful. It's great.
But at the end of it, no matter how good you are, take that, like, I'm going to give you a full hour.
Take that hour out of it, right?
You had 23 more hours a day as a couple.
You know, at the end of the day, these two people had each other's back, you know, and that's, I think that's it.
You know, they had each other's back.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a huge piece of the puzzle.
What has your relationship been with your kids, you know, since you've been able to, you know, come out of the rehab and come out of your divorce and be a stronger person now?
So I want to make sure that I always honor my marriage and how that, but my, my ex wife and I understand too,
I'm not making a case for her ideas and I'm not making a case against her
ideas.
And I think there's arguments on both sides,
but she wouldn't allow me to tell my kids I was clean and sober.
So my kids had no idea.
Now,
one of the benefits of that actually is,
is that alcoholism addiction and 12 step meetings and all this stuff that
comes with it,
they wasn't in their life.
They didn't have to think about it.
You know what I mean?
But it also came to a certain detriment because where is dad always going?
You know, why is he always reading this literature?
It was kind of like this big secret.
So I just told my kids two years ago that I was clean and sober.
But what it really did do was now that my daughter is 17, or maybe three years ago that I was clean and sober. But what it really did do was now that my daughter is 17 or maybe three years ago, now
that my daughter is 17 and my son's 13 is it's opened up our conversation to really,
really be like, I'm really, I'm not just like this guiding figure that I'm really dad.
They could talk to me what their friends are doing.
They could talk to me what their friends are doing. They could talk to me what they're thinking about. I could warn them about certain things that their bodies may be feeling.
I could warn them about certain curiosities they could have but without judgment, without judgment.
And it's made us that much – it made us rich.
It's like a rich family inside our hearts.
We could talk about anything.
And by the way, you don't have to get clean and sober to be able to do that with your kids.
It could be – I don't know if you've announced it, but it could be what you just went through with running.
You know what I mean?
Like it could be like, hey, sometimes when you push something too far, let me tell you what happened to me.
And if you're wired like me, I just want you to know what can happen.
But you don't have to get clean and sober to do that.
But it's made our lives very rich.
Always showing people my mistakes and my flaws and where I went wrong and then showing them that I live to see another day and try
to write it has made my life that much better.
When I try to come in and be, don't worry about me.
I got this under control.
Give you a wink.
Hey, you want the ball in my hands?
That guy is full of shit.
You know what I mean?
I'm human.
I have flaws.
I make mistakes.
I'm sensitive. I have flaws. I make mistakes. I'm sensitive. I
sometimes care too much, but like you guys, I'm as consistent as the next guy and I'll be there.
Do you think it's a little weird to be kind of like a personal development person, a self-help
person, like a Tony Robbins, like some of these other people that are out there that you've
person, like a Tony Robbins, like some of these other people that are out there that you've
maybe admired, you know, from afar for years and years. And now you're somebody that's assisting people with these things.
It's a trip. It's a total trip. I could tell you that much. One of the things that I do,
I was asking you this when Mark and I were on a walk, I love, I love people.
When Mark and I were on a walk, I love people.
And to be somebody on that kind of platform on that stage for me is a privilege. But I still love – I asked Mark who – had he met somebody that he admired and looked up to and they kind of lived up to the hype?
Or they stayed with him and it was the original owner of Quest.
Yeah, Ron Penna.
Ron Penna, who I'd love to meet.
And Mike O'Tran.
And Mike O'Hearn for a kid in the 80s.
You know what I'm saying?
He was on the cover of every other.
And now watching what he's done on social media and just what he's done, period.
I shouldn't say that.
He's a daddy now.
He's a husband.
I shouldn't say on social media.
What he's done, i shouldn't say that he's a daddy now he's a husband i shouldn't say on social media like what he's what he's done it's so um admirable but one of the reasons i asked
nc like i would love to have that conversation with you is to answer the question of being on
that stage i love seeing what what makes people tick you know i love seeing what makes people tick
and um and what makes what makes them human and what makes them great.
You know, one of the things I'm a huge Michael Jordan fan.
I think most of the world is, but still.
What I loved about when he came back, the second three-peat, after his dad had passed away and he's number 45 and his game wasn't as
attacking.
And now he developed that beautiful fade away.
I love that idea that he was like,
yeah,
I may have gotten older.
I may have a few chinks in the armor,
but I'm still the best.
Yeah.
I love that.
There's stuff that's a turn on for me.
You know what I mean?
Like,
like,
so whatever happened,
like when you do the Boston marathon,
I can't see what happens.
And I love being able to be with you guys and study what's going on in your mind, how you guys operate.
I'm not surprised by like seeing the harmony and how much everyone loves each other here.
I'm not surprised by it.
But you never know.
I've been in places and I'm like, I thought they were this person and the staff hates each other and he's not that nice behind when he's not on screen.
I've witnessed that.
So it's great to be on that stage, but I still – I'm just so curious.
My curiosity is what keeps me going.
When it comes to like life now, I think you may have mentioned like you're 17 years sober, right?
That means you don't drink anything at all.
Just to be really clear, I'm coming up on 17 years.
Coming up.
Yeah, July 4th.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
So you did mention sometimes people can – they'll allow themselves a little bit of alcohol here and there if they were former.
They formerly had alcoholism and it's okay for them.
So for you now, do you ever feel any type of urges?
Do you ever feel like, oof, that would feel kind of good? And if you do ever feel that, what urges do you ever feel like oof that would feel kind of good and if you do
ever feel that what does your mind do what type of mental kung fu happens absolutely it happens
i think anyone that first off if that didn't happen then what's the point in admitting that
you're an alcoholic and an addict do i mean like what I mean? So it happened the other day.
I was working with a client in Laguna.
I'd never been to Laguna.
It was gorgeous.
The sun was setting, and my mind went to,
boy, a glass of white wine would be really, really nice right now.
And to say that doesn't happen is a lie.
To say that doesn't happen is a lie.
And what I believe has happened is I programmed my mind so quickly that I don't entertain the thought.
Like I don't – I laugh at the thought.
And it goes quickly to how I destroyed myself.
It goes quickly into playing that tape out. It goes quickly to how without my recovery, I wouldn't even be here in Laguna.
It goes quickly to a prayer. recovery, I wouldn't even be here in Laguna. It goes quickly to a prayer.
Like really, like to a prayer.
But it happens so quickly that everything I just discussed with you all happened within 10 seconds.
The thought came in, oh, a glass of white wine would be nice at this moment.
Then somebody starts laughing.
Oh, my God.
Do you know what you sound like?
Then a quick prayer happens.
So it's that training. let me ask you this too so for for somebody who it's like
they've been keeping a streak let's say it's been three years it's been five years it's been eight
years and then they have a sip right that mentally i wonder for certain people that could fuck with
you so much even if it literally is just a sip and then you're right back on. Right. But does that in the mind of someone who was formerly an addict, does that ruin things? Is it easy to get back on? Like, how does somebody handle that? And do you think there's any aspects of the idea of a streak? Do you think there's a dangerous aspect to that because i i wonder if you slip once
and that not using it but that's 16 years it's just like oh shit what happens that's a great
question so obviously you know it's going to be up to the individual.
I've had people, I know they went, we call it like going out.
That's what you'll hear in recovery a lot.
They went out.
They went out for a night.
They went out for, you know, sometimes they go out for a long time and then they come back.
I think the main thing is to understand, to understand why you did it and to understand that you,
you,
you,
you obviously left the basics somewhere.
You know,
you have to go back to the basics.
It's to admit it,
to get back on the horse.
But also I don't think it's to pretend like it didn't happen.
Right?
Like,
Oh,
it didn't,
you know what I mean?
And there the denial starts because then you're going to start playing with
things.
It's a very slippery slope.
It's a very slippery slope.
So,
um,
I actually don't think there's any dangerous in having any dangers in having
a streak.
Okay.
Right.
However,
I also don't think it's good to have an ego with it at the same time.
That's right.
So it's good to have a streak.
It's good to have 150 days running.
It's good to have a hundred and you know what,
you know,
it's great to have a streak as long as that,
that,
you know,
look,
my 16,
almost 17 years of recovery does not define me.
You know what I mean?
It's what I'm doing today.
It's how I treat people.
It's how I,
how I show up.
You know what I mean?
And the reason I am the person I am today
is because I've done this every day. Um, the main thing I would want to say to that person is, is
get back on the horse. Don't pretend like it, don't beat yourself up. Don't pretend like it
didn't happen, but something, and I would use the word spiritually. Something inside of you is off. And let's find out what it is.
Let's find out what it is so it doesn't happen again.
Because eventually, look, eventually, if they got away with one sip, guys, trust me, if they have my mind, their mind's starting to go, well, maybe it's one glass.
Well, we could share a bottle of wine. I mean, it's just mind starting to go well maybe it's one glass well we could share a bottle of wine i mean it's just that quick yeah with you having uh teenagers do you feel that um
things are shifting away from alcohol a bit you feel like that with a younger audience that there's
other alternatives out there that people are more curious about oh yeah i mean first of all from what I've experienced in the east coast
the kids
my children's age
alcohol is still there
I know there's like a
mocktail thing going on
but no alcohol is still there
white claws
and this and that
things that I mean like
were you know
yeah
you know I don't even know
what these things are
I mean like what
hard seltzers
yeah yeah yeah
yeah
it's for children
it's for children.
It's for babies.
You know, when I was growing up, having a pot dealer was a big deal.
And there were stems and seeds and schwag.
And now you can go into a store and they have a specific strand for a specific feeling that you would like. And it's like going into an Apple store.
You know what I mean?
So I think it's definitely, it's definitely changed in that.
And it's not, it's illegal, but it doesn't feel illegal.
Does that make any sense?
Like, I don't think a cop is going to, there are people away in prison for marijuana.
Yeah.
You know, which I think is the saddest thing in the world.
I think a cop would just be like, no, you know, give me that and go home. And, you know, there's also this huge movement,
which I am not pro nor against of ayahuasca and DMT and psychedelics. I'm not for it nor against
it. I have taken psychedelics before I got clean and sober. I can tell you I think it enhanced my feeling
of understanding that there
is a power greater than myself and that there
are other dimensions out there.
I think those experiences
I had actually helped me.
I am afraid of kids doing it.
I'm really afraid of kids doing it.
Somebody with an underdeveloped...
I know of a kid in my daughter's school that got his hand on, I mean, guys, I don't even know the name of this stuff anymore, but like basically a pen that has DMT in it.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
You know, like I don't know what that's going to, you know, I don't want my kids on some DMT trip right now.
I don't know if they can take that.
Is that kid you heard of all right?
I don't know.
But I've heard, you know what I mean? and edibles and it's just a different world yes yes it's a different world so i think try not to change it be a part of it be a good dad be open
i don't stand on a pedestal but i mean some of the stuff that they're doing now is definitely scarier in my opinion.
Yeah.
Just maybe alcohol,
alcohol,
at least it's been around a long time and people have been drinking it for a
really long time.
People are getting very drunk off of it for many,
many years.
Right.
I'm about to be pro alcohol.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's in the Bible.
It's in the Bible bible it's like steroids right
well we wouldn't even be alive if it wasn't for alcohol
we've got this alive for many years
the water was dirty
you see where we're going with this ladies and gentlemen
I don't whip out this bourbon right now
get that party started
when you were talking about some of your protocols
when you were drinking
it just kind of opened up a weird trip down memory lane for myself. I remember I would get fired up when I'd see certain friends at parties because I knew that they were a little bit worse than me, which meant that they were walking around with tums in their pocket.
their pocket and so we would drink and then take a couple tums to help with the acid reflex it started becoming a game where it was a joke or it's like hey like you know tums crew or whatever
it was you know and but it was a lot of fun in that moment because i'm like oh i'm gonna get
drunk and i'm not gonna really feel that acid feeling like in a couple of hours it was stupid
but it was fun so when you're talking to people and they're saying like, I don't know if I can have fun without drinking though.
What's your advice for them?
So, by the way, that was really good, right?
Because that's like a rite of passage in a way.
So hopefully when I'm with the person, we're going to pretend like they've pushed this really, really far, right?
Like it's not high school and and you know i mean
like i don't want to act like you know it's it's some kid and it's his third time drinking a
coors light and now i come in and we're you know they haven't even had a 21st birthday and now i'm
supposed to explain to them that it's better without it like i need them to have a certain
amount of pain and a certain amount of consequences first yeah right so we can at least have a certain amount of pain and a certain amount of consequences first. Right. So we can at least have a real conversation.
But man,
then I let him know how sweet it is on the other side,
you know,
and,
and explain to them what that looks like.
And,
uh,
you have,
the other thing is you have to speak the person's language,
you know?
So if Encina had a problem,
you know,
and he wanted to talk to me, I'm not going to be talking to him about the ballet or Russian – like use common language.
OK, like he's fit.
He likes fitness.
He loves MMA.
He loves – just learn about the client and make it relatable of the things that they're not doing, that they're really not enjoying because of their addictions.
And build that common, you know what I mean?
I know you love this.
Have you really been doing it?
Have you been performing at your best?
You know, show them what's on the other side and then explain to them what you do.
I mean between you know the people the experiences that I get to have
and the people that I got to meet that I always wanted to meet
that never would have
happened if I didn't have my recovery
you know skydiving sounded great
when I was drinking
but I never really
did this stuff
it just sounded great
running a marathon sounded great
when you're drinking
but I mean that means you have to train for a marathon sounded great when you're drinking but i mean you know that
means you have to train for a marathon and run every you know almost every day and that i wasn't
doing i was hung over so you you know you find the common language of what their goals are you
know try to make a compelling future for them and then show them what they're really letting go
just because of this i am curious what you said about like, maybe if they haven't even had their 21st birthday,
because like I started drinking young too.
I believe I was 16 the first time I got arrested for drinking.
So I wasn't in that moment.
I wish somebody did come in and talk to me about it.
I mean, like obviously my parents were upset,
but I, and I don't want to make them sound bad,
but I don't remember them even telling me not to drink.
They just were really upset with me.
And that led to just,
I just never stopped drinking until I was 27.
But I'm curious why you said that,
maybe wait till they're 21,
or like let them experience a little bit more,
I guess, trauma.
It's a great, so can i break that into two different parts um look first off we could always say that blanket statement that your parents were
doing the best they could with what they had right now having said that if i were your mom and dad or
i was your dad i would be having a different conversation with you where there would be
warnings, you know what I mean?
And I would be explaining to you some of the downfalls of your choices and where this can
go from my experience, from my experience.
But we can't take somebody's journey away from them with scare tactics.
It doesn't work.
I see.
It just doesn't work.
You know what I mean?
And even if you did, that curiosity will still be there.
It will still be there.
So in my opinion and what I've seen, it doesn't mean I'm not open to learning new strategies.
You know what I mean?
I'm not that guy.
I'm not, oh, I have all the answers and that's why I'm on this show.
No, no, no. If you have a suggestion, I'm
open to it. But what I've experienced
and what I've seen is that
if you rob them of that, they're going
to be too curious and they're going to go back.
So be
open. Imagine if something, lifting
or training, be open, warn.
Hey, these are the things that can happen.
Keep an open vessel. Keep an open line of communication, but trying to scare them that
day to be clean and sober, it's not going to work.
That makes sense.
It's just not going to work.
Yeah.
What about the old saying that you can't help somebody that doesn't want help?
I feel like it's a little bit of a cop out because it's sort of like an easy way to say.
What's his problem?
He's just going to pee.
He's bored now.
He's just going to the bathroom.
Okay.
Going for the loo.
I just feel like it's kind of like a cop-out to like just like, oh, he doesn't want help.
So I'm not going to go through all the extra work to help them. Do you see what I'm getting at here? Or do you think that somebody
genuinely does need help or need to want to be helped in order to receive it?
No, I'm with you. Listen, I did not want to be intervened. I did not want to stop drinking.
I did not want to stop doing drugs. I just want to know. I believe that you can help now.
I just want to know, I believe that you can help now.
You can overstep your boundary or you can try to help to a point that it's unhealthy and it's making the situation worse, but no, no,
I'm all about going in and trying to help.
You know, as a parent that you,
obviously you've dealt with alcohol and it has hit you differently.
How did you communicate
or how are you communicating with your kids to letting, to let them know that, Hey, I've dealt
with this with alcohol. It might hit you differently than it does your friends. The reason why I asked
this is because like, there's a certain mental illness that I have seen in my family. So I know
when I have kids, I have to warn them about certain things, right? So how
are you communicating with them about that? And how, like, are you scared of them experiencing
alcohol if they already have? I do exactly what you just did. I've spoken to both of my children
and explained that there is a genetic component to alcoholism and addiction,
and they may have the gene we don't know and that they
have to be more aware than their friends but exactly you said but to not tell them would be
terrible yeah i mean because why why are they the ones that can't turn it off at night
why you know why is it at 1 30 everyone's done and and one of my kids still wants to keep going. Why is it affecting them differently?
I'm going to butcher this, but for someone like me, when I take a drink and somebody
can chime in and say, you said that out of order or whatnot, but it goes down my throat,
into my stomach, through my kidneys, my pancreas, my liver.
The liver breaks down the alcohol, sends acet to my brain and my what's sparking my
brain it literally says to me this is good i'm in control i want more of this where somebody we love
may have a glass of wine and it goes through the whole system to into the liver sends signals up
to their brain and and the signals are saying oh i feel a little woozy. Yeah, yeah. I'm tired. I probably shouldn't drive like this.
So if I say it just like that, just from a physical standpoint, and I warn the kid, like, so you may be wired like me.
It's not personal that way.
It's not like you can't control it.
You know what I mean?
Like, why didn't you listen?
It's just this is how our bodies are made up.
Yeah.
You know, some people cannot break down fat. Some people can't, right? Well, our bodies does not break down alcohol the same way as other people. Pat Project family, how's it going? Hope
you're enjoying the episode. And this episode is brought to you by Merrick Health, the premium
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show notes. What does sobriety mean for you?
You mentioned psychedelics and stuff.
Some people want to try to abstain from everything when they're
trying to go sober. I don't know. What are your thoughts on that?
I don't ever want to lie.
This whole new ayahuasca DMT thing, it's not that I – man, does it spark my interest.
But guys, I know me.
I'll be doing an ayahuasca trip every three days. I'll be – so my recovery had to be – for me, to be total you know and it's just because of the
way i'm wired okay but um i don't judge anyone else's recovery i really really don't and that
took me a little while that really took me a little while but when i started realizing some
i know people that have gotten sober by the way from from an ayahuasca trip and doing these things.
Really?
Swear to God.
I know that it literally helped them get sober.
And I was speaking – I hope this is okay.
Maybe you could edit it out if it's not.
But I was speaking to your brother and he did something called Ibogaine and he was like – it really, really helped him.
I have no judgment on anyone else's protocol.
Like that's – but for me, being clean and sober means being clean and sober.
And I have to – I know myself.
I know my makeup.
Is that category like drugs that are illegal or like – because where do you draw the line?
There's like cigarettes.
There's –
No, no.
I don't get crazy.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Listen.
It's just whatever you think you might have a problem with.
Yes.
You're going to disdain from that.
I mean, Mark, first off, just to show you how bad I am, I still can't believe you're on a cup of coffee that we got.
I downed that thing in three minutes when we were together.
That was so good.
What was that?
Phil's.
Phil's oatmeal cookie. oatmeal cookie yep god is that
delicious so like do you do you are you careful with caffeine no no okay i'm just curious if like
you just no no and i'm not saying that one day i won't grow into that you know and i may have to
grow to be the guy that can have caffeine. But no.
Look, I used to make it really simple. No one's really going to pull me over for drinking a cup of coffee and driving.
And look, this is where I'm at in my recovery.
And I'm usually helping people.
I life coach as well, but I'm usually helping people
that this thing's really, really hurting them
and I don't want to start getting into
what's a drug, what's not a drug.
You think I'm the guy to tell you that?
Do I look like I'm the one that you know that?
I try to make it really, really simple.
And if the person,
they want to stop drinking, Mark,
but they're going to have some coffee and cigarettes,
go right ahead.
Go right ahead. I could
care less. Eventually, I'm sure they're going to want
to wean off the cigarettes.
Definitely.
Let's really address
the problem.
I don't not want to be the judge for
anyone else at
all. I actually watched,
this is not a personal story that he told me,
but I watched,
um,
that Tony Robbins took the toad,
you know,
that Mike Tyson was taking.
Oh yeah.
The DMT thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cause he wanted to help,
you know,
his purpose of,
of trying it was because he wanted to be able to relate to people and help
people that were near
death. He had a purpose
for trying. He hasn't done it a million times
but am I now going to be
the guy to be like, well, Tony Robbins did a drug?
I'm just
not that guy.
How did you figure out that you wanted to
shift to helping people with
all of this into what you're doing
now?
It's a really,
I always had it in me.
I didn't know what it was.
It made me feel very sensitive as a kid.
And I hate it.
It made me feel feminine,
to be honest.
And I'm not a feminine guy,
you know,
but it made me feel feminine.
This thing about caring about other people and wanting to help other people and not wanting other people to suffer or wanting to show people how there's a better way of doing things.
I always had that.
And when I entered recovery, it was like I found a place that all of my skills and all of my character and all of my emotional makeup made sense if there's a place
that finally made sense like i can be like finally a group of people talking about their feelings
this is amazing that abused themselves with overdoing things now they have to talk yeah i'm
home i'm home and um i started realizing how good I was at it.
And not like, oh, look at me.
Many, many people would ask me to help them.
And I started getting phone calls.
My son has a problem.
My wife has a problem.
Can you come talk?
And it was, look, now I'm almost 17 years clean and sober.
It was a slow transition.
This didn't happen overnight.
But when I went into coaching and helping people professionally, I had been doing it for so long.
You know what I mean?
Just not professionally.
And I love it.
I absolutely love it.
But I was telling Mark, too, like I don't – I'm open.
You know, I invest in myself.
I learn from other coaches.
I want to figure out ways to just become better.
But this thing about helping another soul, it's just in me.
Did you notice, because you've been doing this for a while,
but during COVID, did you have a spike of people that were reaching out to you?
Because alcohol seemed to be something that a lot of people built the habit of during
and post COVID.
I actually think during COVID is where like my name kind of rose through the ranks.
You know what I mean?
So that was a great question.
Yes.
During COVID, the phone was off the hooks and the emails were coming in and, you know,
the Instagram thing was flooded and it was it was a tough time
for people yeah good for business being a being a life coach um especially with like people maybe
in the family kind of knowing about it and friends are they like oh great he's gonna like
i don't want to talk to him or open up to him because he's gonna judge everything that i'm
about to say i you god i hope i don't make people feel like this like turn the other way i see at the grocery
store like oh my god here's adam with that stupid energy of his fucking beer in their cart and he's
he's like writing it down good to see you too adam, it's a sunny day. We got it. Thanks. Appreciate it, man.
I think I had that before.
You know what I mean?
And that's also why I always try to start with my flaws.
You know what I mean?
Because I really would hate for anyone to see me and for me to give this impression that I feel like I walk on water.
You know what I mean?
What I did was I made a bunch of mistakes, like a ton of them, worse
than they can, and I found the way out.
I hate the term
life coach, by the way. I think it's the most
saturated field. I hate the term.
You know what I mean?
I wish I could find a better term.
I played with it. Recovery mentor.
You are what you are.
What I am is a guy that, hey,
you're in a dark hole
i have a flashlight and i've i found the way out you come with like come on just just trust me
and that's the hard part trust me put your hand in my hand i know i know the way out i know the
way out of this hole and um but once i have their hand, well, bets are off. How do you get clients? How
do you get attention in that space? Yeah. So social media has been nothing for me, but an asset,
you know, it's just a way of, of putting my ideas out there. It's a way of attracting
clientele that I enjoy. Um, I would say majority of my high-end clients,
it's definitely word of mouth. It's, hey, this guy helped me, this guy helped my son,
this guy helped my husband, this guy helped my wife. And then the social media aspect kind of
validates who I am. And then there was a bunch of time that I was, and it still happens, I was asked on the news, so from ESPN to Fox News.
And I think one rep at a time,
you know, be it,
even, believe it or not,
even being on Mark Bell's Power Project,
what these things do
when you're really trying to help people
is it establishes you that
what you're doing is making a difference
in people's lives.
So they can find you in different areas, be it the news, social media, word of mouth.
But for me, majority of my high-end clients, the ones that I spend a lot of time with that
are really, you know, they pay the bills, let's say, put it that way or whatnot, that's
been, you know, I've been passed from this person to to this person and this is how it happened with the sports teams i wasn't writing
letters out saying hey you know i'm adam javelin i'm a recovery expert i love to speak to you it
was i did really good work here somebody told this person you know i get an email and and this
thing happened really organically you know know, there's a problem.
I had a friend in the past who alcohol was clearly a problem for her.
She'd get blushy, black out a lot, led her to a lot of bad decisions, led her to just a lot of shit happened to her because of alcohol use.
And whenever I would try to bring that up, I would try to do it in the nicest way because I knew that bringing that up would make her angry. She would always say she never had a problem,
even though she did. So she wasn't receptive. And if you have someone that you care about,
who you're trying to get them to see what's going on and trying to get them to find some help,
they're non-receptive. What can you do? Do you continue? Do you back off? What do you do? Do you have to let them hit rock bottom? Because off what do you do do you have to let them
hit rock bottom because that would suck but do you have to let them well it sounds like you're
let's use this example specifically right because each one is different so you've tried multiple
times yeah right i no longer know this person anymore, but like that. Yeah. Right. So sometimes it comes to a point where you're saying like, look, I can't condone this behavior. You know, I love you. When you're really ready to talk and really ready to take a look at this, I'm going to be here until then. You know, I'm going to have a little space.
Because I can't be around you and be a fraud.
You know, so imagine it was, let's just try to make it personal.
Imagine it was Chris and Chris was doing blow all the time.
Like, you know, eventually, right?
And there's the kids, right?
And Mark has kids.
And, you know, eventually you're going to have to say, listen, I love you.
You're my blood.
I would do anything for you. I've warned you several times about this i've warned you several times until you're ready to
take a look at this like i can't i can't be around you can't let the kids be whatever it is but
you have to the honesty is the hardest part about this man it is. But that boundary could save their life. Yeah. That boundary,
that thing that you're saying, look, it's not okay, can save their life. You were in the middle
of writing a book and a friend of yours said something to you and it pissed you off. Can you
share that with us? Sure. Oh, God. I like that one a lot. Yeah, it's good. Right. So I'm working really hard.
I'm working with great clients,
um,
writing the book and I'm going through the divorce and the way I,
I don't like to always feel my emotions and my emotional pain.
So I'm,
I'm going here and I'm going there and I'm,
you know,
I'm helping this person.
I'm helping that person.
You know,
you name it. And he looked at there and I'm, you know, I'm helping this person. I'm helping that person. You name it.
And he looked at me.
He goes, you know, why don't you become the hero of your own life and slow down?
I want to break his face into like, I was like, really, motherfucker?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Really?
Okay.
And I want to attack anything that i saw in him any you know i
mean any any little blemish in in his marriage or how he right but i didn't do it you know thank god
i had enough you know emotional control that i and then 48 hours later i realized you know he's right
he's right i mean i, I'm really not addressing
how much emotional pain I'm in. It helped me go back to therapy because divorce is hard.
Divorce is hard. You know, you're with somebody for that amount of time. Now they're not in your
life. It's not working. You're seeing your kids less. And my way of not, you know, my way of
putting up with that is let me keep myself busy rather than really feeling and processing what was going on.
So it's a gift that he gave me, even though I wanted to kill him.
But it was a gift because now it's also helped me help people with divorce.
Every bad thing that's happened to me, guys,
has only enhanced my way of helping people.
That's really what my life has come down to.
All of my mistakes have really helped me become a better person to help people accomplish their dreams.
People seem to be depressed.
People seem to have a lot of anxiety.
People seem to have a lot of anxiety.
What are some recommendations or things that you think could be helpful to get people to, I guess, get to a place where they're more comfortable with those things, where they're able to address some of those things and just have less anxiety and be maybe less depressed?
Yeah.
This may be so redundant, especially here on the Power project, but the basics are there for a reason.
So it really is move a muscle, change a thought, go for a walk, call somebody and share it
with one person.
Cause you know, when we share something, we cut it in half.
If you had a problem and you share it with me, now we're both holding it. Right? Now I'm
holding the canoe too. Look into spirituality, whatever that may mean to you. Just look into
something that could enrich your life. It could be new age if you want. It could be the seeker and
stuff like that. It could be religious. It could be just sitting down and praying and meditating
or looking at a tree and realizing that tree was there before you and the tree will be there after you.
So you can start thinking of things outside of your own thoughts.
A meditation practice, drink more water, eat better foods.
But the basics will always, always help.
And also, if something's – I actually think the word depressed is thrown around
way too much, right? I think people get tendencies to get sad and they don't like the feeling of
being sad and they throw the word, like depressed is a real thing. You know, you, you may need
medications, you may need an SSRI, you may need to talk to somebody, you know, but depression used
to be like, you know, you could be locked in home for a while and not see the light of day.
So always stick with Mark.
I'm a big believer in sticking to the basics, you know, reaching out and making a phone call or even a text when you don't want to.
That's the hard part, saying it's easy, you know, but literally just like, hey, mom, you know.
So stick with the basics.
Eat better foods.
Move a muscle.
Change a thought.
Drink more water.
Look at something spiritually.
Do something for somebody else.
Get out of your head.
You know what I mean?
I mean, I turn that into an addiction, obviously.
But do something for somebody else.
Get out of your head.
Pick up the groceries.
Return the shopping cart.
Like just something to build your self-esteem.
Do you think if you weren't helping people currently,
do you think it would be harder for you not to fall back into your former addiction?
Yeah.
Oh, definitely.
I think...
It may not be drinking and it may not be drugs,
but my addictive mind would go someplace that I don't think is necessarily
healthy.
Yeah.
Um,
you know,
I,
uh,
let me hear,
let me try to use a good example.
I can read David Goggins book and want to run 300 miles. Okay. But I don't like looking at the end of
the book when he says, by the way, I ended up in a hospital for three months and I really suggest
I'm trying to motivate, inspire the people that need a little inspiration and motivation. I didn't
write this for Mark Bell because Mark will literally run himself into the hospital like I did.
Because Mark will literally run himself into the hospital like I did.
You know what I mean?
That's what I have to be careful of.
I have to be careful of me overdoing things that would end up hurting myself.
Because I'm an all-in guy.
You know?
That's where I'm more comfortable.
I'm more comfortable when I'm all-in to something.
But to sit back, relax, enjoy, stop and smell the roses, it just sounds exhausting.
You know what I mean?
It sounds boring, but that's really what life's about.
So being all in on trying to help people is something that you find fruitful and helpful.
A hundred percent.
A hundred percent.
It's helped balance me out, too. And it makes me feel good.
And I'm an addict.
I like to feel good.
So by the way, I think I told all of you,
I've passed a few of your shows along to some of my clients.
I think there's a mission statement probably behind the Power Project,
which is this is not just to entertain you three.
You know what I mean?
You guys are doing a service and helping us out there in the audience.
There's something about doing it that makes you feel good.
Yeah.
You know,
you're,
you're giving out wonderful information.
You're,
you're willing to show yourselves that you're human,
that you're,
you'll try new things.
Like,
you know,
those Jefferson curls,
you know how like anti that is the way we grew up?
To curl your back that way, you know what I mean?
When I first saw it, I'm like, are you guys out of your mind?
Really, really helped me.
So there's something about what we're doing
that I know you guys get that really, really helps.
It really helps.
And without that, I don't know if I'd fall back into addiction or alcoholism,
but I'd overdo something.
Trust me.
Take us on out here, Andrew.
All right.
Thank you, everybody, for checking out today's episode.
Make sure you guys hit up powerproject.live for everything podcast related.
And drop those comments below.
Let us know what you guys think about today's conversation.
Hit that like button and subscribe if you guys are not subscribed already.
Follow the podcast at mbpowerproject. My Instagram is at. If you guys are not subscribed already, follow the podcast at MBPowerProject.
My Instagram is at IamAndrewZNsema.
Where are you at?
Discord's down below at NsemaNyang on Instagram and YouTube.
I'm seeing Nyang on TikTok and Twitter.
Where can people find you, Adam?
On Instagram at Adam Javlin.
Facebook at Adam Javlin.
Basically at Adam Javlin.
I'm at Mark Smelly Bell.
Strength is never weakness.
Weakness is never strength.
Catch you guys later.
Bye.
Boom.