Mark Bell's Power Project - Men Being VULNERABLE is Weak & Unattractive? Wrong! || MBPP Ep. 881

Episode Date: February 6, 2023

In this Podcast Episode, Mark Bell, Nsima Inyang, and Andrew Zaragoza talk about a clip from the Fresh & Fit Podcast regarding never being vulnerable in front of your girl. New Power Project Website: ...https://powerproject.live Join The Power Project Discord: https://discord.gg/yYzthQX5qN Subscribe to the new Power Project Clips Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UC5Df31rlDXm0EJAcKsq1SUw Special perks for our listeners below! ➢https://hostagetape.com/powerproject Free shipping and free bedside tin! ➢https://thecoldplunge.com/ Code POWERPROJECT to save $150!! ➢Enlarging Pumps (This really works): https://bit.ly/powerproject1 Pumps explained: https://youtu.be/qPG9JXjlhpM ➢https://www.vivobarefoot.com/us/powerproject to save 15% off Vivo Barefoot shoes! ➢https://markbellslingshot.com/ Code POWERPROJECT10 for 10% off site wide including Within You supplements! ➢https://mindbullet.com/ Code POWERPROJECT for 20% off! ➢https://bubsnaturals.com Use code POWERPROJECT for 20% of your next order! ➢https://vuoriclothing.com/powerproject to automatically save 20% off your first order at Vuori! ➢https://www.eightsleep.com/powerproject to automatically save $150 off the Pod Pro at 8 Sleep! ➢https://marekhealth.com Use code POWERPROJECT10 for 10% off ALL LABS at Marek Health! Also check out the Power Project Panel: https://marekhealth.com/powerproject Use code POWERPROJECT for $101 off! ➢Piedmontese Beef: https://www.piedmontese.com/ Use Code POWER at checkout for 25% off your order plus FREE 2-Day Shipping on orders of $150 Follow Mark Bell's Power Project Podcast ➢ https://www.PowerProject.live ➢ https://lnk.to/PowerProjectPodcast ➢ Insta: https://www.instagram.com/markbellspowerproject ➢ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/markbellspowerproject FOLLOW Mark Bell ➢ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marksmellybell ➢https://www.tiktok.com/@marksmellybell ➢ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkBellSuperTraining ➢ Twitter: https://twitter.com/marksmellybell Follow Nsima Inyang ➢ https://www.breakthebar.com/learn-more ➢YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/NsimaInyang ➢Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nsimainyang/?hl=en ➢TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nsimayinyang?lang=en  Follow Andrew Zaragoza on all platforms ➢ https://direct.me/iamandrewz #PowerProject #Podcast #MarkBell #FitnessPodcast #markbellspowerproject

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 always hitting the fucking wrong button. You can always find half emptied or third emptied bottles of these. I'm pretty sure one of these is yours. I'm just going to use the rest. We're just sharing. I was a little mean to say, I'm pretty sure this one's yours. Like if he just opens mine bullets everywhere and just leaves them.
Starting point is 00:00:19 Oh, he doesn't do that. Mark doesn't do that. I mean, they're everywhere. I don't want to be stereotypical. Those mine bullets are everywhere yeah they are shots fired i got a bunch uh oh god thanks that one must have tasted really good that one's fermented probably it just hit the throat in a weird way pause pause don't even
Starting point is 00:00:46 don't fucking give me that look my mind's not in the gutter don't fucking give me that look our mind bullet potions are known for their taste so make sure you get some tasty mind bullet they taste healthy earthy
Starting point is 00:01:02 you can taste that they're gonna work there you go cause if it's not painful then go right yeah because if it's not painful then it's not gonna work right it's not gross then it's probably not good it'll work for you just hit the back of the throat maybe waterfall a little bit of that water please just a little bit thank you very much you got no water over here damn i finished my dutch bros oh yeah you've been going at it with my dutch bros oh yeah you've been going at it with that dutch bros what happened to your body weight again okay i'm back to 250
Starting point is 00:01:30 this morning i was back to 250 from 256 remember that podcast i told you guys that i bought like a 52 ounce thing of juice well i did and i had a few extra carbs too and i was up to like 256.8 the other morning and i was was like, oh shit. So it looks like it was just a little water weight. Is this why you couldn't breathe during jujitsu? Dude, that run. Okay, so I did a run yesterday. I think it was yesterday morning.
Starting point is 00:01:56 And you're like wheezing? I was. I felt my back and shit. Like I was like, oh my God, why is this run so hard? It's crazy what like a small increase in body weight can do to you man it's awesome that you can just gain weight like that dude i could i can gain weight if i wanted to gain weight it's kind of great but uh kind of probably like a hassle right it's the same for you right your body wants to be heavier right some people are like fuck you guys trying
Starting point is 00:02:23 to gain weight right now i got on the scale this morning and I was like, I'm definitely a lot lighter than I was yesterday. There's no way that I'm not lighter. How long was the run? I've been normally, this wasn't even after the run. This was just in the morning that I was weighing myself just to do my little normal check in. And I've been normally right around 225. I step on the scale, it's like 228 i'm like damn and i don't even think i ate extra yesterday but apparently i did yeah yeah no it's it's it's funny too because the last few nights i went to sleep at like 10 30 or
Starting point is 00:02:59 11 whenever i do that it's just like because i'm usually like a 9 p.m sleeper these days sometimes my sleep has gotten pushed back a little bit too i don't know what i don't know what i'm doing but you're in bed for like nine hours these days i am i am sleeping a lot but i am going to bed a little bit later than i'd like i'm happy for you dude that's huge i like going to bed at like 8 8 30 that's good isn that crazy? I get pretty fired up, yeah. I get excited. I'm like, here we go. Yeah. But lately, it has not been happening.
Starting point is 00:03:29 A two-year-old's been doing really hard lately. Ah. This little fucker does not want to go to sleep, and it's very annoying. Tap him out. Just put some mouth tape on his mouth. He gets so excited once everything shuts off, and I'm like, dude, it's bedtime. Everything turns off around 7 o'clock, and that's when he's like, nope, got to fight it off. He'll even start to fall asleep and then catch himself.
Starting point is 00:03:53 And then he's like, oh, no, I got to stay awake. It's going to be some of the best days of your life putting that little guy to sleep. I know he just sleeps wherever the fuck he wants right now right no he hasn't he hasn't done that yet um he's like he's like falling asleep on like the couch once um normally he will fall asleep like on you which is really cool when he wants to but right now he doesn't want to he just kind of wants to just run around and just throw shit at the dogs. You ever wake up with like a ring of sweat because your kid is like 3 million degrees? Yes. He gets very sweaty.
Starting point is 00:04:33 Dude, like you rock your kid to sleep or you are in a chair with them and they kind of... You're trying to make them go to sleep usually. And usually what happens is you fall asleep. But you fall asleep and you kind of wake up and maybe you have to like pee or something. And then you see that they're asleep and you're like, fuck. And then you're also like really,
Starting point is 00:04:51 really fucking hot. And you have like, it looks like you played a game of basketball. A ring of sweat around your neck. Cause there, I don't know why little kids are so warm. For some reason. He just radiates heat.
Starting point is 00:05:03 That's crazy. Man. Yeah. They're most stats. Do you put them to bed or does he how does it work at night um so he'll usually reach for me but i'm usually the last one that's like like brushing my teeth and doing everything last because i'm like all right i'm gonna hold him and we're gonna i'm gonna you know hold the fort down you do everything else that you got to do like you know chicks like wash your face brush your teeth i got a whole thing going on she's got a routine so by time it's my turn i do that and then so she'll hold him but he doesn't want to go to bed
Starting point is 00:05:35 until i go to bed but then in bed he'll like just jump on stephanie and then usually falls asleep that way but lately he'll get in bed and then be like oh this is cool i'm falling asleep i'm gonna jump out of bed and run to the living room i'm like where are you going like what are you gonna do and it's he'll find something that he shouldn't be doing like he'll jump on one of our higher chairs and just hang out there and your mind wanders and you're just like he'll be fine fuck he's gonna jump off that thing head first like nope i gotta go get him he gets all hyped up and then you gotta start the whole thing all over again. All over again, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:08 Yeah, it's rough. We've got the sound machine going. We've got essential oils going. We've got all kinds of stuff going, and he's just like, nah, I'm good. I used to put Quinn to sleep, and it was amazing. I do the same thing with Jakeake but uh with quinn um i just remember because uh where her room was in comparison to where um andy and i's room was uh quinn i would get quinn like laughing i'd like tell her jokes and stuff because i don't know she's just like she's like wide awake
Starting point is 00:06:39 you know it's like staring at the ceiling and she's like three or four or something so i just like try to make jokes with her or something like that. And then I get her laughing and then Andy would come in. She'd be like, what's going on in here? I'm like, oh shit. I'm like, Quinn, we're getting in trouble. I'm like, we, we gotta like, you know, we gotta keep it quiet. So it was like always like our thing.
Starting point is 00:06:57 Like we can laugh, but we can't laugh too loud. We don't want to get in trouble because you're supposed to be going to sleep. Yeah. And so Andy would always be like, are you getting all wound up again i'm gonna have to start all over but with quinn for some reason you had to be making contact with her otherwise she like wouldn't sleep so i had to be like this yeah like on her i had to have her like at least my hand like on her foot or something the whole time just know she was safe yeah and then the second that I pulled it away, she'd like, she'd like look. And then, and then she, and then sometimes she was too tired and her eyes would close
Starting point is 00:07:30 back again. That's what it's like in the mornings. It was so funny. If, uh, if we both try to get out of the bed, then he'll like, like if I get out of bed, he'll kind of roll away from me and then like, okay, mom's still here. But if we both get out and he rolls one way oh dad's gone rolls the other way what the fuck no one's here he'll get up instantly so it's and if he gets up earlier then that messes up the whole day as far as like when his nap comes
Starting point is 00:07:57 or when he starts to get frustrated you know because he'll get tired and then he just flips the fuck out so when he wakes up earlier all that shit just gets pushed up earlier and it just makes a longer day. We're figuring it out. And he's two, so everyone tells me two is just a setup for three. Who gets more worried about him, you or Steph, when he's running or if he's going to get hurt and stuff like that? I think we both worry equally enough but i will throw in the towel way quicker to be like he'll be fine you know like if he's running around all crazy i'll oh my god be careful be careful but then i can only do it for so long before i'm like you know what dude you're gonna learn your
Starting point is 00:08:40 lesson she never throws in the towel you know she's always there so i would say i guess her for you know for the for the fact of that but yeah dude it's tough because if something does happen then i feel like such an asshole you know like it is but it's it's it's hard you know parenting is a little tricky yeah i was i think i was always worried more about them getting hurt than i mean andy was always concerned but it would like make me sick to my stomach like if they got hurt or something i was always like oh my god yeah something's gonna they're gonna fall or something's gonna hit him in the head yeah the other day he i was holding him and he was freaking out so i was like fine okay and so like i i put him down but i didn't
Starting point is 00:09:19 like place him down on the floor you know like he's fallen so i kind of let go a little bit he lands and he he falls over and he barely misses like the crack or the crack the corner of the wall and i felt like shit and like oh my gosh and then he gets up to try to run around me and so i block him and as i block him he bounces off my leg and hits his head on the wall and i'm like oh my god i'm the worst parent of all time because he falls to the ground starts crying just got smashed. Yeah, it's just one of those things where like kids are top heavy and he just like bounced off my leg and the wall. And so I just I felt so disgusted with myself. But I'm like, dude, I just want to go to bed.
Starting point is 00:09:57 Like, I'm tired. And he's just like, nope, we're not going to bed. Damn it. Andrew, I just sent you a video. I emailed it to you this time oh nice that means I can get it yeah
Starting point is 00:10:07 and damn can't wait to have kids it'll be a while from now but I do miss my sweet son they're amazing
Starting point is 00:10:17 when he was just quiet and went to bed he'll go back to being sweet he'll go through stages well I don't know when you'll be able to pull it up but like uh we were talking earlier and there's this idea in the manosphere space of you space of youtube where uh men are telling men that you shouldn't be vulnerable to the woman you're with or your wife how they it's just a
Starting point is 00:10:44 dangerous thing for men to be vulnerable i haven't watched're with or your wife how they it's just a dangerous thing for men to be vulnerable i haven't watched this clip i just found it on youtube right now because i i'm interested in what it's going to say but i think since you had a long-term healthy relationship we've also talked with this with other people on the podcast who've had a long-term healthy relationship the same with you uh and i've had it's my relationship has been interesting but i don't necessarily buy into that idea that like it's dangerous for a man to be vulnerable with a woman or you shouldn't
Starting point is 00:11:10 but let's play this real quick no do not be vulnerable with women women are not built to handle masculine problems we are being vulnerable with a woman is some of the worst advice that modern day women give to men because if I sit there and i cry to you oh my god
Starting point is 00:11:27 my life is hard blah blah blah you might sit there and console me for a bit but deep down you fucking bitch because it's politically correct to say you can cry to me you can be vulnerable to me etc but deep down if your man came to you and was crying on your shoulder saying i don't know what's going on your vagina is going to dry up she ain't gonna want to fuck with him anymore she's gonna look for a stronger more capable man because we're designed to look for security they tell us on air i one time my boyfriend cried in front of me and i never looked at him the same okay that's interesting what are your thoughts i think there's some interesting things there yeah i think uh you know number one is i guess it depends on like what girl we're talking about.
Starting point is 00:12:06 You know, if you're talking about like somebody that you're just seeing here and there, maybe that is good advice. You know, if you're somebody that you're just having sex with, yeah, they probably don't want to, probably not super turned on by hearing a ton about your problems. They probably just want to hang out just to kind of hook up. they probably just want to hang out just to kind of hook up but if it's somebody that you're starting to develop a relationship with um you know i think part of being in a relationship is that you end up sharing a lot of stuff together um you share everything together right you share you share a bed you share a room you share you share literally start to share everything experiences. I think it's going to be hard to just not like, how would you just not ever show vulnerability? I'm just trying to think of like, you know,
Starting point is 00:12:55 weaknesses that some men have or, or weaknesses or cracks or blindsides that a lot of men have. Some men have trouble with anger. Some men, uh, you know, um, might get like frustrated or mad about something quickly. Uh, some guys in some, some guys, when they get hurt, they'll get quiet, you know, like there's just a bunch of different shit that can happen. And, uh, I just don't know how you would like, what do you just hide that forever? How do you do that? And why would you do that? I would think potentially like if you can't expose kind of all of who you are to somebody, then maybe you're not with a great person.
Starting point is 00:13:37 What you mentioned right there, being with the wrong person, it's interesting because at the end of the clip, he mentioned how that they've had a woman on the podcast who have said like, God, this guy cried to me and I immediately got the ick. I never wanted to deal with him again. It dried my pussy up. Right. And there's an aspect of that where I could understand. Like, let's think about the the right side of things where we're like, he could be right. be right. If you're a guy who's blowing everything towards some woman, there's one aspect where like, is this a relationship or is this somebody that you're just, I don't know, having sex with and hooking up with? Because those types of bonds are not strong. But if this is someone like you're
Starting point is 00:14:17 married, you've been married for two decades, Andrew, you've been married for a while. If this is someone that you plan on being with, it would be odd if you couldn't be vulnerable with them. But as a guy, what is a healthy way of showing vulnerability, right? Like I can get it if you just cry, right? There's nothing wrong with crying necessarily. And they always bring up the aspect of guys crying like it's this spectrum of emotion. It doesn't need to be crying. It's like if you have an issue or something hurt you, you should be able
Starting point is 00:14:47 to talk with the person that you care for and the person you love and the person that you plan on being with. You should be able to talk about that problem with them without it being dangerous.
Starting point is 00:14:59 Maybe an area of vulnerability at the moment, maybe it's just that you're not a quote-unquote high-value man in society. Maybe you don't make a lot of money yet. But, area of vulnerability at the moment maybe it's just that you're not a quote-unquote high value man in society maybe you don't make a lot of money in uh but also like are you working on it because if you're working on it then that's kind of part of being together too is that you are you're you know supposed to kind of like grow together you have like some ideas and concepts of, of, uh, what you're trying to like build and
Starting point is 00:15:25 work towards. And we're okay. We're together. Uh, we are going to be together for a while. Maybe down the road, we'll talk about children. Maybe we'll get married. We'll have a house, those kinds of things. And as you do all that, you're building stuff around you. You're literally increasing the size of the family. And as you're doing that, you're both growing. Like hopefully your wife isn't the same exact person she was when you got married. And hopefully you're not the exact same person. Fundamentally, probably yes. You know, hopefully the principles and the things that you fell in love with, hopefully they're still intact. But I think that you hopefully are both growing together in a way.
Starting point is 00:16:11 I kind of call it a united front. We have like a united mission. So I might have a mission. My wife might have a mission. And those two can be somewhat separate of each other. They don't have to really be the same, but we also have a united front of how many kids are we going to have? Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:16:31 We're going to have one or maybe we'll have two. You know, you kind of land on some sort of number. Ideally, if I could pick it, it would be kind of cool if we had a girl and a boy and we were able to, we're able to kind of, you know, do some of those things. Oh, I'd really love to live in this area of the world or i'd love to be able to one day make enough money to where we can travel a little bit like oh yeah it sounds cool i'd always love to travel i've always wanted to travel too and you find these kind of commonalities and you develop a lifestyle that aims you in a
Starting point is 00:17:02 direction of these uh united principles that you start to develop. Yeah, I think you guys are hitting it right on the head specifically with the like what, like who is the other person? Is it somebody you want to be with for a long time? And also, I would say like maybe what is the problem or the vulnerability that you are putting forward? Because yeah, if you are constantly complaining that, i don't know the line at starbucks was too long today or my job sucks and you're just constantly opening up that way sure i that makes a lot of sense but like for for my relationship and this is maybe something that hopefully they talk about but my wife saw me at pretty i would would imagine the lowest I've ever been, you know, depressed,
Starting point is 00:17:47 no money, a job I didn't like, living at home even, you know, had to move back home after my divorce. And through all that and being vulnerable in that situation, being super frustrated, you know, like literally in tears, like spending a whole day in bed because I didn't want to get out. She helped get me out of that. Now, no matter what happens, if I become a millionaire, I know she's always going to have my back because she was there when it was the worst. And now, like because I was vulnerable and she didn't use it against me or whatever, I know that I can be open to her no matter what happens moving forward and i know she's always going to have my back so the moral of the story there is kids be hung like a horse like you have that two percent congolese and you're fucking 23 and me well i mean that's how he has it he's got a pretty cock cock he's got a pretty good over there it didn't work the first go that's why you have a little back pain i was vulnerable in my first well there is such a thing as being too big i think that's why he has lower back pain he's been complaining about this back pain for years lugging that thing around this is dick is pulling out his l4 l5s1 you're silly silly geese but you're saying
Starting point is 00:18:59 that i was vulnerable in my first marriage and it just she she definitely used that against me but she was the wrong person okay that. That's an interesting thing right there. Um, cause you mentioned multiple things and Mark, you, like you and Andy, you, you knew Andy when you were broke. I want to come back to that, but Andrew, having the experience of being with someone where you were vulnerable with aspects, how did she end up using it against you? you were vulnerable with aspects how did she end up using it against you oh it just the the uh the roles changed in the house right away not that at the time i was uh like i guess the high no i was definitely not a high value man but like i didn't see things that um like male or female roles as far as like who wears the pants in the house it was more like oh oh, we both, you know, have income. We both pay the, you know, the house
Starting point is 00:19:45 payments and stuff like everything's equal. Right. But when I didn't make as much money and I complained about it or when I was upset that I was depressed or whatever, she would just be like, she would just always put herself as a superior in the house. So like the, um, things were no longer equal anymore. Um, if I was home, then she would find something for me to like do.
Starting point is 00:20:13 And it's like, Hey, we're just chilling. It's like, Oh, the dishes aren't going to clean themselves. She would say shit like that. Like the trash isn't going to throw itself out.
Starting point is 00:20:19 And I'd be like, what the fuck? Like, so I wasn't viewed as like the man at all. It was more like, there's a lack of respect. There wasn't. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:20:26 That's a great way to put it. There's a huge lack of respect. There's a terrible way to communicate too. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Like rather than just having a conversation, hey, you know, the garbage is kind of always overloaded. Like we should take turns or have some sort of system or.
Starting point is 00:20:39 Yeah. Like I feel like I'm getting frustrated with it. Like rather than fight, we should figure out something else. Yeah. No, there was. I mean, we were both young, so that's definitely'm getting frustrated with it. Like, rather than fight, we should figure out something else. Yeah, no, there was, I mean, we were both young, so that's definitely a huge part of it. But yeah, there was never anything like that. It was usually, I make more money, you know, you're always complaining about something. So, like, I'm the superior and I don't have respect for you. have respect for you so what all the things that they're they are saying did happen to where it was like oh like you're not the man of the house right now and the vagina was dry you know like we we
Starting point is 00:21:13 almost never had sex which is fucking insane because like we only like right after we got married it just completely stopped yeah which sucked but I mean, it is what it is. And it ended, thankfully. But yeah. So the things that they say did happen. But she was the wrong person. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:32 Hey, Pat, Roger family, shut your mouth. No, not, not really, but kind of,
Starting point is 00:21:37 you should keep your mouth shut when you're asleep. Now on the podcast, we've been talking about the importance of nasal breathing for years. And we've been talking about using mouth tape during your sleep for years, as it's going to help your sleep quality because you're going to be breathing through your nose. We had James Nestor, author of Why We Sleep. Actually, that was Matthew Walker, but James Nestor, author of Breathe. We had Patch McEwen. We've had so many people talk about the importance of taping your mouth and breathing through your nose when you sleep for your sleep quality, which helps your recovery, which helps every aspect of
Starting point is 00:22:04 your health and fitness. So hostage tape, if you want to get some of this to help you sleep for your sleep quality, which helps your recovery, which helps every aspect of your health and fitness. So hostage tape. If you want to get some of this to help you sleep better and it also stays on your face, if you're a bearded man, which is one of the big problems with mouth tape, head to hostage tape.com slash power project. And there you can actually get the power project annual deal, which will give you a year supply of hostage tape,
Starting point is 00:22:21 55 cents a day for tape pretty much. And you'll be able to save 150 along with getting two tins a year supply of tape and a blindfold that is going to be something that you want to get your hands on links in the description along with the podcast show notes shut your mouth what were you going to say go ahead i was just saying that's a really good point and it's cool that you have firsthand experience with it. The rest of it is just us kind of talking, right? But I think there are so many different forms of vulnerability.
Starting point is 00:22:54 So this guy is pointing out crying. I don't know. Crying is just not on the list of things of vulnerability. not like on the list of things of vulnerability um i guess it would really depend on what you're saying what you're thinking of like being vulnerable like if uh if someone's having a hard time like making money or like anger just comes to mind because a lot of men have like anger in them yes especially young men especially guys like in are in their 20s. So I would tell my son, who's 19, just turned 19 just a couple days ago. Happy birthday, Jake. Happy birthday.
Starting point is 00:23:31 Happy birthday, Jake. I would tell him, I would rather you cry in front of a girl that you're interested in rather than break a glass and slam it on the ground because you're mad about something. You know what I mean? I would rather that you cry and be upset over something maybe it's a movie or maybe it's uh maybe she hurt your feelings something that she said i don't know coco that movie will make you cry i'd rather see that than to you be like motherfucker and punch a hole in the wall you know so vulnerability like i don't think it's isolated down to just something like crying.
Starting point is 00:24:06 I do think that – I think it's noteworthy for any women that are listening that it takes a long time for guys to develop. We take a lot. We take a while. I don't know what it's like for females, but for men, we take a long time. It's going to take a while for that guy that you're interested in who's 20 or 25 now or even 30. It's going to take five, six, seven years for that guy to turn into really a stable enough man to really take care of you and a family. It's going to take a while. It's honestly just going to take time.
Starting point is 00:24:44 And that's what you're looking for um andrew there's a bunch of stuff that you mentioned dude you got you got because you know for example the the person you used to be when you were in your early 20s and you were married is definitely not the person you are now like you've developed a lot you you've you've built good habits back then. You know, you mentioned you had habits where you were drinking a little bit too much. You weren't exercising much. Like you're a different person. So when we're looking at like the person you choose to be with, for example, like I was with somebody who, when I was vulnerable with them, right? And when I talked about like, let's say I had an insecurity or an anxiety about aspects of the future
Starting point is 00:25:30 and I knew where I was going to head, but like, let's say if a conversation happened and they asked what's wrong, like, I'm kind of worried about this. I know this is going to happen, but this is what I'm worried about. That person, because the type of woman she was, later when she would get angry, would bring up those things and use them within arguments.
Starting point is 00:25:49 And this is something that I see in comment sections with videos like this where I see these guys talk about aspects like this where a woman will use those vulnerabilities against you. But the thing is, is if I took my experiences with my ex and then said, fuck, I was vulnerable with this woman about certain things. Like she even mentioned some shit about me not having a father, right because I've, that wasn't a mature individual. That wasn't an emotionally mature woman. The interesting thing is like he mentioned the crying thing, but I think that number one, as men, we should be able to, and we have to, if we do have certain things that we want to share that we're scared of sharing with our partner, we got to try and share that in a healthy way. It doesn't always come from crying and bawling your eyes out and sharing it. You can literally have a conversation about these things. And maybe you're having a conversation about an anxiety or fear,
Starting point is 00:26:56 but also maybe you know kind of how you're going to navigate it to get from point A to point B. Maybe it's the insecurity you're mentioning about like, God, I have this job interview or I have this issue, right? But you have an idea of how you're going to get from point A to point B. But also on the woman's end, if you're not with a woman that can take that and that can actually have that conversation with you and then not use that against you in the future, if she does, that's an immature human being that is not an adult woman that that has emotional stability that's kind of like that that's not a cool person
Starting point is 00:27:32 because i i mean your experiences right in your marriage like has that backfired on you or has like in terms of being vulnerable in certain spots because this is another thing and you could probably talk more about this. Andy knew you when you were broke and now you're a millionaire, but she was with you through years of you not having what you have now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:57 No, she's never used like me being vulnerable against me. She never, when I was working on myself, trying to figure out ways to make money, trying to go through different jobs. I had odd jobs. I was a personal trainer.
Starting point is 00:28:18 I did some bouncing and shit like that. Nothing real stable. Nothing really strong. There wasn't a career. There wasn't like a career. It wasn't like a real clear career path, but she didn't really pressure me on any of that stuff. And she'd never used it against me.
Starting point is 00:28:32 You know, she wasn't like, I make this and you don't make much. And you know, you need to start making X amount or she never did any of that. I actually had friends though that they couldn't get engaged until they can afford a certain ring for their significant other. And I always thought that was wild. Now, again, if that's something you both agree upon and you say, you know what? Yeah, I would really love to get you a ring that you feel is going to make you feel great. And it's
Starting point is 00:29:05 5,000 bucks or 10,000 bucks or whatever the number is. And, and I'm going to work, you know, I'm going to work my way towards that. Cause I think it's really valuable for like, that's different. Right. Um, but if there's like some demand being placed on that and, uh, you gotta, you know, work your face off for that. And that's always kind of being kind of hung over your head. Just like you see sometimes in relationships with sex, you know, women are kind of using sex as like a weapon type of thing. I mean, these are all things that I don't, that maybe sometimes we accept them in society, but I don't think they're normal. And I don't think it has to be that way. I think you can communicate about just about everything
Starting point is 00:29:45 and I think it's really powerful to be vulnerable. You know, just as an example, like what's wrong with telling somebody that something hurts your feelings, you know? I've had to tell my wife many times. I would say, hey, listen, I'm gonna complain about my brother Mike, okay, about when he was still alive. But be cautious when you talk.
Starting point is 00:30:10 He's my fucking brother. He's like my idol. And he has mental health issues. So I might talk a bunch of shit because I'm frustrated. But you can't go and pile on because then I'm going to get – I'm actually going to probably get sad because I'm going to think more about what I said and I'm going to feel like shit about it. So, you know, just deal with me like bitching about it and understand that I'm not really, uh, I'm just venting. I just need to vent, you know? And so she had to kind of like figure out maneuvers on that. Yo, that, that's, that's a really big deal right there. And when it comes to something like communicating that, as I've known you for years, I've never seen you be angry.
Starting point is 00:30:53 I mean, I've seen you sad because of certain things at certain points, but I've never seen crazy highs and lows because you're mentally healthy. you're mentally healthy and the thing is is like when we talk about male anger or even depression because there's a lot of men that that suffer from depression the thing is is like different people have different types of traumas i'm not a therapist but those traumas that they may have had can potentially show themselves and the relationships that they have and the friendships they have. And the thing is, is that as a guy, like Bedros, right? Bedros, he's been open about his molestation as a child. Bedros got therapy. And if you're a man who has been dealing with things, different traumas from your past, whether it's bullying or whether it's something
Starting point is 00:31:40 that has shown itself in the way you act with people, your partner isn't your therapist. You should be able to be vulnerable with them but there may be aspects of things where like you should maybe try to work through with the therapist right so you can then be a healthier partner and then you can communicate those vulnerabilities healthier with the woman that you're with because again like on the woman's side of things, if you're communicating that in a healthy way, vulnerabilities, it shouldn't be any reason for her to run for the hills or for pussy to dry up or for her to think you're less of a man.
Starting point is 00:32:14 And if that's, I think there's a woman that thinks that like, oh God, my man being vulnerable with me or whatever is something that's going to make me run. I think that's the wrong woman to try to be with. But the thing is, is back to this, like,
Starting point is 00:32:27 like you mentioned, some men show their anger, like something, yell, they'll curse or whatever. Dog, go get fucking therapy. That's not a healthy way to communicate with anybody.
Starting point is 00:32:37 And then if you have depression, if you have massive repress, depressive episodes, yeah, there are things we talked about on the podcast that can help out your mood in terms of like your sleep, your exercise, all these habits, Go to the gym. But sometimes maybe you just need to actually have a therapist to talk to, to help you through these issues so that you can communicate these things better to your partner. And there's no problem with getting therapy with
Starting point is 00:32:58 some shit. And nowadays you can do it like just via consultation over the internet this episode is sponsored by better help no it's not but exactly yeah and you you don't have it's like uh i think it's kind of nice because you can be kind of anonymous so i don't know it just um maybe people feel awkward about going into an office or feel like they don't have time or whatever and nowadays you can just do stuff online, which is pretty cool. JL had mentioned that when it comes to therapy though, like it is good to go somewhere because people will feel better if somebody actually creates space for you. Let's say whatever the traumatic experience or maybe even person that's causing some of this is in the space that you're currently at as you're trying to get help it might you know you might still have the walls up you know even though you're you're talking to this person through a screen and that person's not
Starting point is 00:33:54 there so just something else to keep in mind if maybe you do try the like a zoom type of thing and it doesn't work out it's not because therapy didn't work out for you. It's just maybe it's just, you might not have liked that approach. Can I mention something? Like there's that, but you mentioned the complain thing, right? That you would just complain. And you also mentioned like complaining about your brother, but I wouldn't call that complaining, right? I mean, I heard this from Tim Ferriss when I was in my early twenties, he like talked about never complaining. And then that's, that's a a point where every time I'd feel like I wanted to complain about something, and it was just literally complaining, where there's no solution. Fucking hell, the line at Starbucks was so fucking long today.
Starting point is 00:34:35 It's like, no, stop. But I don't think what you were doing in that situation was— Problem solving. Because that was a real problem. Yeah a problem this is frustrating he i don't understand why he's acting this way and maybe i'm verbally trying to get that out because i'm verbally trying to figure out like how do we figure out how do we fix this yeah i think that would be even a way to kind of uh get circumvent if i use that word correctly correctly if you are going to be vulnerable maybe also have like solutions you know like x is giving me so many issues I need to figure this out
Starting point is 00:35:13 so if I do y and then you know maybe your partner will see that and be like oh he's actually a fucking savage because he's not just complaining he's gonna figure this out i don't know if that's gonna like protect you from the wrong person because in my head i'm just thinking man what a nightmare would be if i could never be vulnerable like i'll never be able to go to the person that i'm supposed to be the closest to you know with an issue or something like what happens 10 years down the road and you've never been vulnerable an aspect that oh good an aspect that these guys talk to is that like um if you're going to be vulnerable you should have male friends you can be vulnerable with you should never be vulnerable to your own and i i agree
Starting point is 00:35:54 yeah i agree with that yeah because i'll i'll have your male friends might use that shit against you because they'll go talk to her and be like he's a bitch nah nah you should be with me instead i never complained about that but i mean like there that that's a totally other thing eve like having friends as men that you feel comfortable talking about those things too but you know when it when it comes to doing that with your partner god totally forgot what i was going to mention here. Oh, we were talking about problem solving. Yes. Okay. The problem solving thing. The thing is like, I think the, these, the manosphere types or the red pill side would say like, you don't bring, you don't go to your woman for solutions to problems, right? If you have a problem, you go to your male friends and she's not like you, that's a person
Starting point is 00:36:42 you take care of. They're not like someone you're on a team with in that way. But like I've mentioned certain things to Sam and I've brought up like an idea that I had for something or just something. And she's like, oh, have you thought about this too?
Starting point is 00:36:54 Because it's a different perspective. Like she has a totally different perspective that I don't have. And that input is beneficial and maybe it can help me think in a different way. And you told her, make me some pancakes. Right afterwards.
Starting point is 00:37:07 What are you doing? Put on a thong, put on your heels, go in there and make me some pancakes. I don't understand what's so hard about it. Wear this French maid outfit. We actually have one of those. They got it on Amazon. There you go. I love that outfit.
Starting point is 00:37:25 But yeah, man. I hope you remember what you're about to say because I forgot. I was going to say I think the way that – some of the ways that we used to be through like tradition, I think they're lesser ways of being. They're just kind of dumb. They're, they're, they're stupid really. Like,
Starting point is 00:37:48 uh, when someone's like, Oh, you know, you can't tell grandpa something like that. It's like, that really sucks. You know,
Starting point is 00:37:56 that really sucks. Uh, my aunt was homosexual and like, you know, she wasn't able to tell my grandpa cause he was like hard and tough in his ways. It's dumb. I'm sorry. It's dumb.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Love my grandpa. He was amazing. Stupid. You should be able to have conversation. You can't have a conversation with your daughter. You know, people in their own household can't have conversations. Like he's Catholic or he's this or he's that. Or it's like, it just doesn't make any.
Starting point is 00:38:22 How does that make any sense? Because you're this way, you're now closed off to so many other things that sounds insane i i get it people were a byproduct of you know many years of of uh our experiences and the things that we've dealt with and all you know is what you know all you know is what's in front of you all you know is what you're taught so i get it but i think nowadays you know is what you know. All you know is what's in front of you. All you know is what you're taught. So I get it. But I think nowadays, you know, there's so many more options to be, to be open-minded. And, um, I think one of the cool things about being a man is to be able to have great strength and great capacity and be able to, um, not act on every opportunity, not act the way that people think that you're going to act.
Starting point is 00:39:11 You know, somebody might think like, oh, he's going to be really pissed when this happens. And you're just like, okay, all right, we'll figure, we'll, let's figure out a way to deal with that. Okay. I got it. You can, you know, you can be a, you can be a savage and you can pounce when there's a reason to pounce on something, but you can also be smart and be intelligent and you can kind of maneuver your way around and you of just getting mad or instead of just getting frustrated. Let me start to figure out solutions to some of this. And whoever your significant other is, if they're truly your significant other, they should be a friend of some sort.
Starting point is 00:39:58 Maybe they're your best friend. I don't know how everyone's a little different on some of that, but they should be like a friend. They should be somebody that you want to share a lot of stuff with. And you should be able to make moves together through the process of life. And you got to remember, if there are any of the red pill cats that are listening to this, this is within the context of the funny thing is those girls at the beginning of that clip. You guys remember what they said? I don't, sorry. But you've never been in love!
Starting point is 00:40:27 And I know within the Manosphere side of things, I never hear the idea of love being mentioned. But when you love somebody and then you're in a monogamous relationship with that person, that person is now
Starting point is 00:40:42 somebody that you're planning on building a future with and it would be really odd if you you guys weren't operating together you guys couldn't be vulnerable together if this is truly the person that you want to like build something with if it's someone you're just fucking and hook it up with that's totally different i'm not i wasn't going out sharing all my fucking shit with girls i was just hooking up with right shit was very shallow but with the person that i plan on wanting to have a family with this is going to potentially be the mother of my kids and you guys like it would be great if i could actually be open with this person in a healthy way and again one thing
Starting point is 00:41:23 one thing that i think is so odd is that like within this side of things, it's like, it's like men are like this and women are like this. Men do this and women do this. It's this fucking massive paintbrush of like, woman can't handle vulnerability. Woman can't do this. Men have to be this way. Men have to be this way. It's like, no, just because you've seen women act this way and some women have done this, there are some women out there who are very mature, who are adult, who can handle healthy vulnerability. But again, it's healthy vulnerability. It's not like you mentioned complaining about stupid shit all the time. Like you mentioned getting angry and punching your hole through a wall.
Starting point is 00:42:01 That is a you problem. Yeah. punching a hole through a wall that is a you problem yeah uh to quote the great curtis jackson aka 50 cent but uh he and he was obviously talking about something else but he was like um how deep is our bond if this is all it takes for you to be gone he was talking about i think money or some shit but like yeah like if if i am vulnerable and like that's where you check out like well shit i dodged a bullet you know like damn we ended this way quicker than you know it uh or thankfully we ended this way quicker than it could have been um so I just I don't know I just I'm curious what their thoughts are on like the
Starting point is 00:42:35 long-term thing or I guess you said about like they would have dudes to like be vulnerable with but I can't imagine a lot of dudes are like being so open to where they might even get into tears not that you have to get to tears to be super vulnerable but i mean sometimes there's just some some shit that you just you got to talk it out you know and if it comes to tears it'd be cool to you know have somebody there that you can rely on that's not gonna call you a little bitch and then go fuck some other dude. Because that would suck. Imagine how bad that would feel. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:08 Yeah. Yeah, I think some of that is just old school, you know? I think, like, that's, like, my dad's generation and the generation before that. Like, just tough everything out and don't let anybody know how you feel. You got chest pain, there's no reason to go to the doctor. Like, oh, dad, you know, he doesn't like to go to the doctor. It's like, that doesn't make any sense. Just rub some dirt on it.
Starting point is 00:43:29 His heart, his chest hurts. Go to the goddamn doctor. My dad told me, he was just like, yeah, every now and again, my arm just goes numb and I get this weird chest thing. Yeah. And I was like, you should probably go to the doctor. And I'll be fine. I'm like, dad, I think you're having a heart attack. And he's like, no, I'm okay.
Starting point is 00:43:45 He was having heart attacks. Dude, he had. No, I'll be fine. I'm like, dad, I think you're having a heart attack. And he's like, no, I'm okay. He was having heart attacks. Dude, he had to get, he had three clogged. That's why I brought it up. This happens all the time. Three clogged arteries, 100% clogged. And it's like, he was just going to work every day. I'm like, ah, it just gets a little numb, but it comes back. I'm like, dude, what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:44:00 I have a question for you guys. This is really interesting that you brought this up. But do you guys remember when, like, you know, when I think back and I look at like my mom, my mom is always, obviously she raised me, you know, there's so many good things, but there's a point where it's like, you start to see your parent for the human being that they are not the parent that they were. So it's like, they're no this deity-like figure that has all the answers, but you're a human that has your own issues, your own traumas, and the things that you've dealt with
Starting point is 00:44:29 through your life. You're not perfect like I thought you were as a kid. You're not a millionaire either. You don't have all the money in the world. It's like, remember when you were a little kid and you saw your teacher at the grocery store? You're like, what the fuck are you doing here?
Starting point is 00:44:46 Why aren't you behind your desk why are you buying chicken breasts what's going on here can't eat that at school but like the thing about that is you know there's so many things that i mean i know you've mentioned so many awesome things about that you learned from your dad and mom and you too andrew but it's like so many people reference you know well i saw my father was this way so i'm this way or um my mom did this so like this is the way things are and there's this appeal to tradition and that's not necessarily always a bad thing but again it's like you've mentioned how you notice with your kids how they're like some of the things they say it's just like what the fuck they seem so because of all the stuff that they're probably consuming right they seem so
Starting point is 00:45:31 aware of social things like things that are going on but also maybe emotionally aware of things that maybe you weren't as a kid right so it makes you wonder is like do we have to appeal to what masculinity was like the whole stoic hard like just because that's what it used to be or is there a way to be masculine but add more onto the plate of what you masculinity means yeah I think we just maybe like, uh, just didn't have good understanding of like how much estrogen a man has, how much testosterone a woman has. Like there's like,
Starting point is 00:46:13 there's crossover, a lot of these things. And most of the stuff that we saw like years ago that was on TV, if it was a guy, uh, doing things that would look feminine it would be satire. It would be like funny, right? Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:30 A guy dancing like, and it still is it's still a funny thing. I like that. That's pretty good. It still is like a funny thing to see so we are, like these traditions are, they're kind of baked in and we do think, you know, man's supposed to be this way and woman's kind of supposed to be that way.
Starting point is 00:46:54 I don't know how we sometimes get past some of those things, but I think when you're in a relationship, I don't really think you're, you're not constantly thinking about like, this is a female and this is a male. You're like, this is my partner. And we're trying to, trying to make sense of life. We're trying to move shit forward. And, uh, who the fuck cares what your gender is? Why can't you cry? Or why can't you be mad or upset? Or why can't you, uh, talk your way through? through, hey, you know what?
Starting point is 00:47:25 I've noticed over the last couple of weeks I keep getting frustrated with you. I don't know. It's over the same thing. And I think maybe I'm over aware of it or maybe it's bugging me for no reason. But do you feel that maybe you're treating me this way or am I just agitated about something else? Or like, why can't you just talk? You should be able to talk through these things. Yeah. I would say, I mean, not to be like, we need to get back to those days, but like, I don't know, maybe like we do need a little bit more of that masculine energy,
Starting point is 00:47:59 in my opinion, just a little bit, but maybe in just an evolved version of it right like um i don't know like uh i'm trying to think of something but like we're a situation where the old school man would be like fuck no i ain't doing that i ain't changing diapers or uh i'm not gonna play along why would i cook i'm not gonna wash the dishes and done it like okay okay sure you're fucking your man but like you know you evolve a little bit but still be the man of the house you know when the trash has to get thrown out in the middle of the dark or middle of the night in the dark and it's cold as fuck yeah go out there and throw that fucking trash out but also when you get back in go ahead and you know do a tiktok dance with your daughter or something. I don't know. You know what I mean? Like my dad would never do that.
Starting point is 00:48:47 He would do the trash, but he would never like show like a lighthearted side of things. He had to be a hardcore man all the time. Yeah. Luckily, my mom, like I had cousins and I had people around me that were older men, right? And there's an uncle of mine that I barely ever saw I barely ever saw that dude smile. Right. Yeah. I barely ever saw him actually happy. Like he, he worked, he provided for his family and he, he, he did well, but there's an aspect where it's like, I look at that. I'm just like,
Starting point is 00:49:18 I would like to be able to be more emotive. Right. Cause from, from where he came came from from the place he came from men didn't do that type of thing you know men like it was like this is just not something men do but when i when i think of like the type of when i just think of masculinity as as a whole i think that it has different dimensions and it's not again it's not just this one blanket this is what you are as a man or this is the way you need to act as a man like i think bedros said the servant and the savage thing right like what you were mentioning andrew getting back to that masculinity side you know physically doing things hard mentally doing doing hard things but also like
Starting point is 00:50:03 on the emotional side of things it's not that you have to fucking cry right like which is what these guys always bring it back to but can you actually in a healthy way express the way that you feel about things that that i mean i know that that's something that i personally have struggled with um like because sometimes like my girl would ask me like are you how are you feeling? Like, cause she can tell something's off. Women can tell when things are off with you. And sometimes it's like, I'm good. How are you feeling? All right. So this is up and this is what's going on. And then we could just have a conversation about it. But like, there's always this discomfort
Starting point is 00:50:40 in terms of sharing that partially, because like, if I i'm being real like growing up with my mom my mom was so busy i never really shared much of anything i was my my role necessarily was being the guy there right so i didn't ever as a child share those things really with her burden her any further she worked so hard i didn't want to burden her so like whenever i taught whenever i personally talk about those things i feel like fuck i'm burdening whereas it's actually it's not i'm burdening i'm just sharing and that's just the way i looked at it yeah and i think sometimes that's actually healthy like uh it's uh sometimes nice to shoulder stuff for other people you know my parents had a bunch of uh financial issues multiple times throughout their marriage and i didn't know anything about any of it so sometimes it's kind of nice to shoulder stuff my mom had a life-threatening brain surgery when i was like 10 i knew nothing about it i, afterwards I was kind of pissed
Starting point is 00:51:45 because I was like, holy shit, like fucking A, like that could have been insane. But they just told me, oh, she's, she's not feeling well. I didn't know she had it. She had a brain tumor. So fucking wild. Um, so sometimes, you know, you, it's not a bad idea to shoulder some stuff. So sometimes, you know, you, it's not a bad idea to shoulder some stuff. My wife will do that with all kinds of different stuff. You know, and, and she might, the reason why she'll do it is not to hide something from me. The reason why she'll do it is to get better organized in that particular situation, in that particular thing. So let's just say something happened with like a family member, for example.
Starting point is 00:52:38 And let's just say she knows that it's going to upset me, make me sad, make me angry, whatever. She's not going to like tell me right away unless it's something that needs, you know, that's time sensitive. She instead is going to troubleshoot a little bit probably on her own and then she'll come to me. And I'll do the same thing with stuff a lot of times because I'm like, I don't need to dump this on her lap right now. You know, it's not an emergency. I don't need to. There's no lap right now. It is not an emergency. I don't need to. There's no reason for me to. Like she has her day.
Starting point is 00:53:09 I got mine. You know, you kind of sometimes forget that your significant other has their own life too. And they had their whole life before they ever even met you. Going through all those dudes, dude after dude after dude after dude after dude. I mean, it was just wild, right? It must have been must have been crazy that hoe phase right that's what they call it and he doesn't listen to the podcast yeah right so anyway i don't know i don't know where i would love to uh well you were talking because i i will do this too when my my wife sees that something's bugging me and it makes it totally worse when i want to say something like got something on my on my mind
Starting point is 00:53:53 but i need to gather my thoughts for it because if i say that then it's like what is it what is it what is it so that would be really upset yeah so then I'm kind of stuck in this weird I'm stuck in this hard position where I'm like ah fuck I do have something but I can't say that and then I also can't tell you what it is because I haven't even been able to formulate my opinion on it or figure out a solution for it so I'll be like oh nothing and she knows I'm lying but she'll kind of be like all right I'm gonna leave you alone until you figure it out. And then I'll come later. But in that moment, I need to get better at explaining that. Okay, so what you said right there is actually something I do a lot.
Starting point is 00:54:34 Like sometimes I'll be like, okay, you know, I'm good. She's like, is there a problem? I'll be like, yeah, okay. So there is a problem. But right now, I'm not comfortable talking about this just yet it doesn't have anything to do with you though yeah trust me right like i've had to do that before because a lot of times we're good yeah something else and she's done the same thing where like there's been something she's been on her like you could tell i could tell she's off i'm like are you okay she's like
Starting point is 00:54:59 not necessarily but i will talk to you about this soon. It doesn't have to do with us. Because if you're in a relationship with somebody, first off, guy or girl, they could probably tell there's something up. But sometimes they'll think it's them. Sometimes they'll, did I do something? Are we on the rocks? Do we have a problem? Letting them know we don't have a problem,
Starting point is 00:55:19 but there's something I'm dealing with. That's why maybe I'm a little bit quiet or I seem like to be in my head. There's a reason for it. You can explain that without having to necessarily explain everything. Because like you did mention, there is benefit in maybe seeing what you can figure out before you pour it on your partner, right? Because everything might be fun. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:38 Everything might be fun. It could be something exciting and fun that you tried to plan a trip and you let them know. And then the flight's now canceled or something weird happened. And you don't have to tell them right away that the whole thing's canceled. You could work on it for a little bit and then tell them. Be like, hey, you're not going to believe this shit that happened. But this thing got canceled. We were going to do it.
Starting point is 00:56:01 Don't worry. I was still able to save the day. Still able to make it happen. We were going to do it. Don't worry. I was still able to save the day. Still able to make it happen. Something that's really valuable.
Starting point is 00:56:14 I think if your woman does ask if something's wrong, just say, oh, you don't know. And walk away. I'm just kidding. Gaslight that bitch. Oh, seriously? You don't know? Wow. Yo, there is this. Oh is this oh the audacity to ask wow okay oh wow there was this reality tv show married at first sight so sam loves that show right
Starting point is 00:56:38 and there is this dude where he like he married this girl or whatever right because it's married at first sight and then she comes to him and says because like or whatever but she's like there seems to be a problem and he doesn't like her by the way but he gaslit the fuck out of her he's like well you're lying to me about something because he was just trying to figure out find a problem he's trying to find a problem so he's like i know what you're lying about and she's like what he's like i know what you're lying about i found out about it on day one i know what you're lying he didn't know shit by the way he was just trying to get her to confess something so it looked like she was in the wrong for something so but she's like and it was funny because he was cutting between their conversation when they put the camera on the person and she's like i don't know what i'm lying about i don't know what i'm
Starting point is 00:57:27 that shit was so fucked up that's great oh that sucks oh god i've had ab cramp yeah i haven't watched anything since the uh newest season of love is blind and the only thing i can remember is the uh the dude that like put eye drops in his eyes to make it look like he was crying. That was so odd. Yeah, the Asian dude. That was weird. Very weird.
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Starting point is 00:58:30 down in the description as well as the podcast show notes. I will say this too, like guys, if you are with somebody and you let's say they've used your shit against you and it's happened multiple times, ask yourself, well, have I used that shit against them? And then maybe be like, all right, maybe we need to work on ourselves, like work on the way that we talk to each other about things. Because sometimes like that's just not healthy. That shit's never healthy if like you use something that your partner has said against them.
Starting point is 00:58:58 You shouldn't do that in an argument. Like that's fucked up. Yeah, you shouldn't even joke about it. Yeah. You got to be really, you got to be cautious about i think um anything where you're trying to like hurt the other person i don't think makes any sense you know calling somebody a name yeah that's weird i guess you know some people they do kind of like raise their voice but i'm not even a fan of that this let me ask you i mean i don't know about, I don't, for me, I, you know, I guess you live your life whatever way you want, but I'm not a fan of like yelling.
Starting point is 00:59:31 I don't know if this is too personal, but did you ever hear your parents' name call each other? No. Right? No, I've never heard them call each other a name. They did argue and they had actually argued pretty loudly. They would, they would they would go back and forth about stuff but uh yeah i never i never heard them name call each other there's something that i think like because one of my exes like yo god i've had a fiery mouth but the thing
Starting point is 00:59:59 was growing up parents did that right so it's like when you grow up seeing your parents communicate in a certain way some people are like well this is how people that love each other communicate when they're angry and it's okay and the thing is is like if you find someone else where that's the way they grew up and their parents also yelled and cursed at each other okay y'all can make that work but generally it's it's never fruitful like you to yell and have malicious intent when it comes to speaking to your partner where you're literally saying things to hurt them. And some people say things to hurt them because they feel that they've been hurt. But then there's this whole fucking weird thing where, all right, if you feel that you've been hurt, maybe you should communicate what you said to hurt me. Because, for example, me and my girl were having a disagreement. And then later on, she brought up that something I said hurt me because for example me and my my girl were having a disagreement
Starting point is 01:00:46 and then later on she brought up that something i said hurt her and that wasn't my intent some people's reaction to that would be like oh god what they said hurt me fuck you you motherfucker like what the fuck you think you're talking about like that that's some people's reaction i'm gonna one-up you right right but like she came to me and said hey this what you said hurt my feelings i was like yo that wasn't what i was intending let's talk about this i'm sorry about that there's not a knee-jerk reaction to try and hurt the other person back because again i it's me if you're in a relationship with somebody that you love then that's the last person you want to hurt yeah and it might be unintentional, but if it's communicated healthily that,
Starting point is 01:01:25 hey, what you said hurt me, you guys can deal with that in a healthy way. Right? Yeah. I agree. I can't think of my parents even arguing too much. My mom was pretty good at suppressing everything if my dad was upset. But I unfortunately do remember my sister and her ex from a while back. And my sister's, I think, like seven or eight years older than me.
Starting point is 01:01:50 So basically like my second mom. And so I always thought that was normal. Like, oh, when you're in a relationship, you literally scream at the top of your lungs like this is normal. And then so when I got married and I'm getting yelled at and so I'm like, oh, this is normal. It's fuck. It wasn't normal. But for my ex, it was normal to be little and sleep around because her dad did the same thing. And so it's just like, oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:02:16 Now that I'm older and I can look back, I'm like, okay, it's starting to make a little bit more sense. In the moment, it was just like, what the fuck? It's not funny now. I mean, it's, it's funny now, but it wasn't funny back then. But she would like clown on like my like videos and stuff that I'd make. And I'm just like,
Starting point is 01:02:31 Oh fuck. Like then I get super like self-conscious about them and be like, damn, maybe I'm not as good as I thought I was. Yeah. So like stuff like that where I'm like, damn, that's not okay to do to your husband,
Starting point is 01:02:42 you know, to belittle him like that. Like, God damn, it sucks. But she thought it was normal, you know, to belittle him like that. Like, God damn, it sucks. But she thought it was normal. You know, this,
Starting point is 01:02:50 I would just say like, you wouldn't, you wouldn't even hang around a friend that acts this way. Like a friend that uses shit against you. Like you wouldn't hang around with them. Yeah. Or a friend that like checks out your video and like, dude,
Starting point is 01:03:01 that's fucking dumb. Why are you trying that? Like, that's what, why are you pursuing that? It's terrible. You wouldn't hang around. No.
Starting point is 01:03:08 And that was the vibe too. All of us here, like we've known each other for years and I know there've been times that we've been critical of each other for things, but we've never done it with the intention of hurting anyone here. I can't even imagine. Like, just trying to like, no,
Starting point is 01:03:23 it's like you can be critical of something and you can put it forward my ex used to say some shit where it's like i'm just straightforward oh you know i'm just like i'm i i say what i mean i say what i feel i don't share your coat yeah people can't people can't deal with me that's why i don't have any friends it's like no you don't have any friends because you're fucking mean. You're malicious towards people. You're mean. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:03:50 You can say things straightforward to people without being mean or malicious. Like you can put forward those things. Even the people you work with. Because I've seen some people that are bosses and they talk to people they work with and they're totally belittling. And it's just like just because that person works below you doesn't mean you need to speak to them as if they're less than. Right? Yeah, I agree. It's the worst.
Starting point is 01:04:16 Yeah, I don't like it. Want to take us on out of here, Andrew? Yeah, you guys got anything else? Let us know what you guys think in the comments because this was an interesting one. There's a lot here. what you guys think in the comments because this was an interesting one there's a lot here but in essence we think i think we think that men can share their vulnerabilities with the woman that they choose to be with without the pussy drying up and without them uh using it against them without them running away and fucking another dude we talk about the shit you're sad about after
Starting point is 01:04:39 you fuck her though yeah right afterwards check all the boxes get in her box and then that's when you can let her know cry on her shoulder right after you're not like you know what's bothering me that's what they love that's the move right there talk yeah sensitive all right let us know what you guys think down in the comments below and make sure you guys like today's video and hit that subscribe button if you guys haven't already powerproject.life for everything podcast related follow the podcast at mb power project my instagram is at i am andrew z and sema where you at and i see me any on this radio youtube and i see me again you know i'm talking twitter i think you said discords below mark i'm at mark's millie bell strength is never weakness weakness never strength catch you guys later bye

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