Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 374 - Willard Smith

Episode Date: December 15, 2021

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod YELLO. It's just the M.F. D.A.W.G.Z. with a fresh cast, but what else is new. In this podcast we learn that it ain't EZ being Willard Smith. The supply chain is absolutely shot. There are seven deadly sins, and gluttony is definitely one of them. Please enjoy.

That gypsy scale is too much. I can't believe this is still going. I really can't believe it. It's a lifelong dedication. I'm as much as a flutist as I am a comedian. You're a flout. Possibly more of a flout. You are a bit more of a flout. You're floutistic. I'm getting a keyboard. That would be nice. Yeah, I'm going to keyboard. I'd like you to start playing piano. That would be sick. I love piano, bro. That's a cool thing to think of that. I come from a family of penis, dude. Really? My dad's grandfather played piano in the bars. What? That's how he etched out. Yeah, that's how he made a couple of bucks. That's awesome. Great grandpa would play in the fucking saloon. And if, dude, my one cousin, I've run saloons

of Philly. Saloons of Southwest Philadelphia, dude. In the 60s, people were like, man, turn that shit the fuck off. Yeah, my dad for a few years lived in Southwest Philadelphia. He was a fresh prince. Was he? He was a fresh penis. Get his ass beat in bars. It runs in my family. I have cousins who are just like savants on piano. It's pretty nuts. You have several autistic people in your family. I think our whole family's autistic. Our one cousin nailed it. She's like, our whole family's in too deep. We're all so autistic, we don't know it. Yeah. But we're in too deep, dude. Yes. It runs in the fam. Well, you guys have all bullied each other into some type of weird, like, nah, this is, I'm this. I'm this. And

then you guys have all bullied each other like bills out of his mind. Yeah. And he might be the most sane. I can't tell if he's the craziest or the most sane. Isn't that, isn't that wild? Yeah, I can't tell. I genuinely can't tell if Billy's absolutely the craziest or the most sane. Who can tell? Yeah. I don't think he knows. Well, it's, yeah, it's like the one thing like if two balls are moving, who knows which ball is the space between increasing. Yeah. The first like early in when I met Billy, I'd be like, why are you doing all this? Because he's like, I wake up at this time. I'm jacked. I work hard. I was like, why, why are you doing it? He's like, I'm bulletproof, dude. You can't make fun

of me. It's funny. Yeah, dude. I mean, it's yeah, it's definitely my family is deep roots of autism, dude. Yeah, just like feudal autism. Just like, yes, my lord. I think that's why we vibe, dude. My family is deeply into the syndrome. We're all yeah. True. I get home everyone's like, no, we're just too, we're just too powerful clans, dude. Too powerful. Good clans, the ones with a C. Not the bad K clans, dude. Let's not get that twisted. We do not support the Ku Klux Klan at all. No, do you see the venture code? Oh, I want to tell you this, as many as many autism you guys have, we have several offensive linemen in my family. My whole family's offensive line, dude. That's hard syndrome. But everyone

else is offensive line adjacent. That's the other thing offensive lines to continue. Yeah. So there's a lot of people who are like just on the verge of offensive linemen ship. Yes. So yeah, it's pretty sick. That's definitely the most autistic position in football. No, it's most syndrome. Oh, yeah. True. True. That makes sense. That makes sense. What would you say the most autism position in football is fullback? Not QB, dude. Most autistic position. Is there is there such a thing? Possibly. No, I don't know. Now you're mentioning it. Offensive line also definitely has a lot of that too. I remember being like, I'm here to block for the guys running the board. I'm selfless. But that's also syndrome. True.

Football is just for the fellas. True. Just for the boy doesn't matter. That was the dude when the coach would tell me that in PE football being like you guys are the unsung hero, dude. I fucking loved that. I like I genuinely pride myself on that for years after I take it back. The syndrome has a lot of glory hounds. You're like, I want to score the touchdown. You're watching those fucking glory hounds when all tests are roleplayers, dude. All tests are roleplayers. True. The syndrome or glory. There's always those videos of dudes with the syndrome coming in and just drilling threes basketball games. You are right about that. They are absolute glory hounds. Yeah. But yeah, dude. What about the DaVinci code?

They reminded me I was I was watching I was watching it last night and that was like the very beginning of it. He's like shows Ku Klux Klan people and he's like, what do you think of this robe? And everyone's like racist. He's like, actually, these are the priests in Spain wear. Bam. Next slide. I was like, shit, hanks. You're saying some priests used to wear like that was a holy gown. Yeah, they still wear it. Do they really? I was just watching a Anthony Bourdain in Spain episode. They do this like festival where literally everybody walks down the streets and clans robes. What are they pumped on? But some statue of like a saint cut bull's heads off. It's a good day. Yeah, he bust out the swastika in the beginning.

He's like, actually, this is a chill assemble, too. He's like, you guys don't know. I don't know. I can't believe people are still flexing on that. Did you know that this wasn't just Nazi stuff, dude? So I watched DaVinci code. Yeah, everyone knows that DaVinci code is just it is stoner knowledge. The whole yeah, dude, anything that popped up. I think, well, yeah, Brittany's like, how do you know this stuff? I was like, got into the Constantine like I got high in fifth grade. Yeah. Well, yeah, I sniffed chalkboard cleaner when I was 10 with my boy. Do you ever huff? No, I don't think I did. I huffed only twice. I didn't huff. I wasn't gonna go high. I would try to smell things. I was always a bit timid. Yeah,

I don't I was always like, I want to be cool and do drugs, but I was always very afraid of them. I read about huffing in a library book and then tried it until now. Now I fucking love drugs. How's the opposite, bro? My right? My rock star lifestyle ended at like fifth grade. Yeah, like chalkboard cleaner. I didn't get I don't think even get high. It's got like nervous and dizzy and sick. And I was like, that book might be onto something about why these things are bad. I was worried about the Huffer's rash. That's the thing you want to avoid. They certainly are because you they would spray it in a paper bag and then you huff out of a bag. That's how you knew a huff had, dude, see the rash, see that rashing

on that guy. So that's bad news. I got huffs household cleaning sucks. Nobody huffs anymore. That was an epidemic back in the day. Yeah, just people stood sniffing gasoline, sniffing tanks. We got yo, on the way home, we're gonna hit a truck stop. I'm going to introduce you guys to sniffing some tanks. Go right through a truckers thing on crack it and I'm going to breathe in the gas. Get the hell out of here, you damn kids. But it was tight. I got the flex on Brittany with like Christian, like Roman knowledge. Like, well, yeah, dude, fucking council of Nicaea, dude, it was blowing. How do you know this stuff? I was like, Da Vinci codes got you. Sure. We're almost done. We're not we're halfway through. Oh, really? You

guys pause the movie? Yeah, dude, it's three hour movie. Bedtime's bedtime's 9 p.m. Da Vinci codes three fucking hours. That time's 9 p.m. strict. Because of strict lights out. She does. She I lay in bed and read listen audio books usually under the covers audio. No, one of the covers, dude. None of the cup, dude, I had you don't want to head down there, dude. I had, dude, crippling. Yeah, do you ever have constipated diarrhea? Dude, I never had that at all. Dude, I couldn't. It was the most insane thing. I was high to them and I was actually concealing them perfectly under the covers. And she would move and fucking the air would escape. And it dude, I was my farts per hour. I was probably doing nine farts per

hour. Like for 72 hours, I was like, genuinely afraid. She caught me in the middle of me like switching my diet of being like, I got us. I'm just eating fucking chicken and brought she's like, dude, you're constipated, relax. Your whole family does this. You guys going to eat some weird thing. Just wait. Yeah, but we'll be fine. Just go get some fiber gummies. Should launch them. You'll like that. I've had those. They're so nice, dude. You just dump piles. You just drop horse piles for like a week. I was off the oatmeal. I was on the oatmeal and everything was going well. I'll sit. Yeah, I was on the oatmeal every day. And then I started eating a couple of things in my head that I ate that I'm kind

of figured out. I was on oatmeal for a while. Were you? Yeah, it's pile city piles come out. Back in my poor days, it'd be beans and oatmeal. That was all the cheapest shit I could find. Yeah, dude, I was I spent a whole night just waking up and just like farting loudly on the toilet and coming back shamefully to bed. She's like, did you go to the bathroom? I'd be like, no, no. She's like, I thought I heard you like that was just farts. Oh, I do that. That's what you mean. I do that constantly. You really? Yeah. Fuck my stomach feels terrible. It feels like a dump and then you go sit there and fart and just look at your phone. But a little comes out. Yeah, I got a very little bit like a snake one. Yeah,

exactly. And I but I was feeling the waves of diarrhea and finally the sweet release dude is upon me. And it would just be like a little snake back to bed with the same old you got a wipe with a definite dump in there. Oh, dude, it was fucking horrible. I had like Jackson ass like my dog ass dude all weekend. And then it gets the point where you're farting so much that they start bringing up medical shit and you're like, all right, enough. I don't have fucked up butt stuff, dude. Let it go. Yeah. That was my whole weekend just watching it a venture code a little bit at a time, like trapping fucking farts under blankets for my dear life. Yeah, I wonder what he munched. I did that. I ate a whole

bag of Yucca fries. So right now it's the I was averaging like a carton of hummus a day. And I add like really spicy ghost pepper jerk seasoning to the hummus or like curry some other thing. And then it bagged it. I think, dude, I would go pepper hummus daily. Yeah, you must have been unleashed in hell in those blankets. It was wicked, dude. Yeah. But I think it all culminated. The bag of Yucca fries was a pig out. I think the Yucca fries got stuck. I don't even know what those are. What are they? Yucca is like kind of like a it's a root. It's a root. It's like a seed Doritos. Knock it off. Yucca fucking rules. You know, this mumbo jumbo. I don't know what it was, dude. I've been trying to put I've been doing the

Da Vinci code on everything I ate. It's like, I think it was the Yucca fries. Yes. What do you think of all these paintings now that you're big into the Da Vinci code right now? Hold on. I'm trying to get my the best one that she's like, do you have a dedicated memory? He was like, not really, but I do remember stuff really well. I mean, dude, I just want to see the Mona Lisa dude swap them and she's right next to him. Well, you see that? Yeah. There's the way feminine. That's the fucking that's the thing, dude, the feminine, the V. That's the Holy Grail, dude, the vagina. Yes. It's women. That's how much I love pussy. It's the Holy Grail. It's the most important thing in the world for me. Fucking. Yeah, that's right. Jesus had a kid. Isn't

that the movie? And that was the Holy Grail was the child. Yep. Proof relinquished the church's power Da Vinci knew. Da Vinci obviously fucking knew he was around back then. He knew all about this. He was part of the Knights Templar scion. Yeah, they're called like the some bullshit, but either way, yes, I'm watching Da Vinci. I remember you remember Da Vinci code. I remember people protested that. Yeah, Catholic school was pissed about the Da Vinci code. They were mad about Harry Potter and the Da Vinci code. What's up with Harry Potter? I don't know. They're witchcraft. Dumbledore's gay. They don't like witchcraft. Yeah. My school was like, you better not go see Harry Potter. Okay. Yeah, you know what? I think my school was kind of like, weird

about that. That was cancel culture. True. That was back in the day. It was back when Catholics held the power for cancel culture. We got to get it back. I don't think we're going to get a slight win in Texas. Exactly. If we cancel abortion, we can stop women from aborting babies. We can grab the, you know, we can grab the culture. Yeah. Just control it again, dude. No more fucking making out, dude. Oh my God. Remember, did your mom get the thing? I should talk about it. My mom will get the newsletter, the Catholic standard in times. Oh, no, no, no, we just know we get just that fucking piece of paper that give you at the end of church. Oh, my mom, like all their sponsors. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's like an age factor. Like

a gas station. Yeah, my mom would used to get the fucking newsletter. So any movie that came out, my mom will get like the Catholic yes or no on it. And it'll be like teenagers holding hands, big warning. Dude, if they did, if they rated like all you can watch is for you, you can only watch VeggieTales. Oh, VeggieTales. The only thing you can watch rules. Do you toss that on for your child yet? Only when I'm in a hotel because it like when you're in a hotel, I like you have to watch whatever's on VeggieTales came on. We watch it. That's nice. She's a little young to take in the tail, but I'm like, this is fucking. Yeah, you're gonna want to take this tail in. Take this VeggieTales. But yeah, man. Yeah, if my mom, if that, if euphoria had been

filtered through the Catholic like leaflet on like what's okay to watch, it would have, it would have like incinerated it. Yeah. I mean, I had a tough time. I had a tough time. Euphoria. Guardini said he's been watching sex with college. The secret life of sluts. Yeah. Oh, nice. He's in that. I heard the next. Yeah, it's evil, dude. Why is it evil? It's just so much so many bad messages for kids. What kids should have a lot of sex? Yeah, it's like, and you don't want the girls having sex. I don't want the girls to wait for you. Yes. That's how I feel. I don't like girls being sluts. I want them to wait for me to come around. Yeah, I don't think it's I think it's one of those things where it's like there's a there's a

definitely a handful of women who can like go out and just have sex with hundreds of people and like start like painting in a warehouse and everything's fine. But for the majority of women, I think it kind of fucks them up. Yeah, probably they have too many boyfriends. Yeah. I read a quote one time. I think I showed Brittany the quote to get see if it was true or not. But she was like the quote was basically every time a woman has sex with a man, like she kind of splits in half. And the more times it happens, the kind of fragments of personality. Yeah, pretty interesting. Kind of. Yeah, she's like, yeah, it's kind of true. Shattered women. Yeah, from too much penises, many penises, too many boyfriends, dude. Yeah, too many boyfriends. Can't

have too many boyfriends. Why is it's different? It just it's a whole different experience. Too many boyfriends. Yeah, dude. Yeah, it must be hard for women because you have to adopt their personality. Exactly. You guys start dressing and acting like them every time. It gets confusing. If you have too many boyfriends, you're like, I don't know what the hell to do. Do I like football? Do I not? I can't tell. I've had too many penises inside of me. Yeah. I don't know what I like and don't like. Do I like this movie? Yes, they just take a democratic vote of all the people they've ever had. It turns into democracy. Then it's the Senate. Yeah. Once a girl sex with like seven people until they meet their Caesar. And then he's like, no more Senate, dude. No more. You

listen to me. And then eventually they stab you in the back and you die. Pretty much, dude, which this is this. This is the this is the this is the topic du jour right now. I listen to almost the entire Will Smith biography this weekend. Yeah. So while I was farting the whole time I was farting under my blankets, I was just listening to Will Smith's life. Dude, it's fucking wild. Why? It's it's like a he's having a weird fucking time, bro. He needs to knock it off. You got to listen to this whole thing. Isn't he a Scientologist now too? Or he's like a Jason at least. It was a Jason like a Jason to Scientology. Well, he's right now he's questing. You got to listen to his whole biography, but it's like, well, I'm not. I'm telling you

should. You should listen to it. Dude, it's more revolutions right now, dude. I'm falling asleep, listening to the fucking Boston Tea Party. I'm telling you, Will Smith, it's when you read it, it's like, because, you know, he's just like a dude in a million movies who did a bunch of stuff, and then you heard like his wife cheated on him and everyone is like, yeah, that was my reaction being like, what? And it's being like, eh, it's just it's for some reason, it's funny to to watch a mega celebrity slide into almost being like ironic. He became a joke. Kind of, you know, not to slam big willy because now I feel connected after his autobiography. But like he went from like the best like crushing. He talks about it. Blockbuster record breaking shit where like he

could not miss and it caused problems in his family. You know where he started to miss? Wiki, wow, wow. No, dude, even after that, he's still fucking, it's still kept killing it. I am legend, dude. No, of course, of course, he's everything. He still is everything he does is good, except like Gemini men stunk after Earth, dude. After so, dude. What happened was he was he just did King Richard and it's a fucking it's phenomenal. Oh, for sure. For sure. Yeah. Again, Will Smith is a great actor. Fantastic. He's a fantastic actor. It's when you listen to the book, he bear, he just lets it all out, dude. And it's like it's like you didn't know any of this stuff about him. Like, dude, the whole thing like, oh, what, Fresh Prince? I was running with some bad guys. He was

getting the shit kicked out of him, dude. He was walking around Philly and cowboy boots. They weren't just put them on his shoulders and spinning them around. That's a security guy, by the way. Oh, really? That's Charlie Mack. Nice guy who spins them is a security guy. Nice. But dude, he was apparently like, he was saying he was like his dad would like beat the shit out of his mom. He was a compulsive liar, too. There's a point. There's a point later in the book where he like says a memory and then he's like, so he builds this whole thing up. And he's like, yeah, I told my mom that story. It's like that never happens. He's like 40 years old. But he would walk around and cowboy boots and people would just like just trash him constantly. The first day

he went to Overbook, someone hit him in the head with a combination lock. They like beat the shit out of him, dude. And then he got like tied in with like, when his music blew up, he lost, he was like broke when he was doing the Fresh Prince. Really? He was hanging out with like, what is it? Junior Black Mafia, dudes? Really? Yeah, dude, he like, it's dude, it's insane. He was like, he had a mansion. He got cuckolded early on in life as well by his like original girlfriend and that like he raised a child cuckolded or just got cheated on? No, cheated on. Yeah. Oh, wait. Oh, no, no, no, Jesus Christ. Just cheated on. Okay. But I think he I think he uses the term cuckolded or something. Yeah, he uses cuckolded. So like he was crushing it, dude. He was like

every time you get cheated on, you're being cucked. I mean, that's like cucked light. Yeah, that's how you end up a cuckold, like a biological cuckold. But when you get cheated on, you've been cuckolded. He was like in my young cuckolded mind. He said some kind of phrasing like yeah. Yeah, dude. And he was crushed. He was like, traveling, touring, all this stuff and all the dudes are getting pussy. And he was like, no pussy. I love he's a lover boy. He said I love my wife. I just want the perfect life. And he came back and she just like he was like a global sensation. She she fucked a dude and like she like sold clothes in a store. Fuck some light skin motherfucker, dude. Of course, green eyed light skin motherfucker, dude. I was I heard that

I was like, wow, it's always the light skin. That's what he said, basically. He's fucking that's what he said. Some light eyed motherfucker, green eyed light skin motherfucker, dude. Fuck. Yeah, dude. It's the book it is. It's interesting to listen to. And it's co written with Mark Manson, who's a subtle art of not giving a expletive. So there's all these little things interest. It's it's like, you know, he's read by Will Smith. There's a lot of like kind of like cheesy shit kind of. But if you can just listen to it, it's very interesting. I couldn't put it down, dude. I couldn't take my earbuds out. Nice. He also admits to throwing up whenever he sees her. I heard that's pussy. Well, no, it was because he got cuckolded. Yeah. And then he

tried to just start getting he's like, I'm going to be a pussy machine. And he would like, he needs the love connection, dude. So he would be coming and just be like, and just get up and gag and like run away. Dude, there was one part in it that was possibly the most disturbing part because like, he has a lot of insight into his younger childhood. You can tell he's working with therapists and he's like, well, this was because of this and you're listening to it. That's kind of insightful. And then he has like the years go by. It's like newer stuff that hasn't been processed as fully. So he like, he's talking, he's like talking about him and Jada's relationship. And at one point, there's a story he tells that he's like, yeah, man, I did it. He's

like, I'm a prankster. So I did this prank on Jada. And it's like, she doesn't think it was funny. I think it's the funniest thing ever. But like, I'll leave it to you guys to decide once and for all. And he's like, you know, he's like, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, here's what happened. And he was like, so I brought me and Jada had been together for, I guess it was like a couple months was still fresh. And he was true. So she was going to meet his grandmother. And so he flew his grandmother out to California LA where he was living. And he has this thing where he like knows how long it takes for anyone to get to play. He like times people in his head. So he's like, it'll take her 47 minutes to get where she's from her house to my house. This he's like, I'm going to

put on a movie for my grandmother, a movie that she had like a, like a very notorious sex scene in with another guy with where Jada did. Jada did this movie. Apparently that was like a award winning like groundbreaking sex scene. It was groundbreaking in black cinema. So it was well known for all the actors and stuff. So he timed it to where he put the movie on with his grandmother, knowing that Jada would walk in the door right as that sex scene came on. And he was like, it's a prank. So she walks into her getting just like dog balled on camera. And it was like a long movie. No movie sex is just like a guy you like thrust and comes immediately. This was like a fucking like ridiculous. What was that funny movie where they had like they made fun of it? They do like a sex

montage. It was like real life. The way he described it, it was like real life. Macroober. You can't watch Macroober with your lady. They don't like it. Every time I've ever done that, I end up we've had sex and I do that. I can't not do it. I can't watch Macroober and then have sex because I'm gonna go I'm about to fill you up. Yeah. Dude, so he puts it on and she walks in and just goes like, what the fuck. And then like they sit there the whole thing, but the grandmoms kind of like this. And this is the weirdest part where he was like, babe, he's like, and he's this is him describing he's like, babe, it's perfect for us. This is perfect for us. This is a memory. This is the best. You're gonna laugh. She's like, this

isn't funny. This is fucked. Yeah. No, babe, he like does the whole do these things and be like, but it's perfect for us. This is a memory. He's just fucked up. That's a famous person. Yeah. But it was like that there was people are fucked up. Yeah. But that was a part of the book. I was like, you know, he's pretty hyper competitive. And it was like, Are you sure you weren't punishing her for having that sex scene? Definitely. But that was that for me, that was like the part of it where I was like, Whoa, dude, that didn't get fully processed. He's like, Anyway, I thought it was funny. She did it. And it was like, Yeah, dude, that's not funny. It's not a joke, dude. Yeah. But I will say he does lay it all out there. I'd be so ticked off if my wife or girlfriend was in a

movie and even kissed a guy. I'd be like, All right, we're done. He has to understand the bro chef is here. It's like, bro, we're with you. That sucks. Don't put that on for your grandmother maybe I wouldn't let it go. And I would constantly shame her myself. I mean, dude, I hear it. It was just so funny to watch. And maybe again, maybe he does think it's funny on some level, but I was watching it just like listening to I got like I was at the gym listening to it. And I just went like, Oh, man, that's fucked up. Like that's really crazy. But you know, still go move. I'm sure she never did that shit ever again. Better not be like the dog. You got to speak into the why? Why is this? Why is this a weekly thing? I'm sorry.

Well, don't be sorry. Fix it. I am right now. You showed her nose in it. Oh, yeah, you have to. That was, uh, yeah, that was a deep, that was a deep fucking, it was a deep attack. Well, you know, ultimately though, Oh, dude, and then so and then we watched the interview. So I'm, I'm just like, I'm deep into Will Smith's mind the whole weekend. I'm just watching this shit being like, it was interesting. The fact that he was at the height, the pinnacle of an actor's career pretty much, you know, as big as a person could get. Yeah. And he was like, miserable. So when he did after earth, his family, he was just like, you know, on just go mode, go, go, go, you know, his family wasn't really too happy about it. And

he was married to an actress who that's a fucked up dynamic. Yeah. When somebody's like global sensation, she got so fucked up. She eventually started a heavy metal. She had what? She started a heavy metal band. She did. Yeah, dude. Wicked wisdom. Jada started heavy metal. It is wiki wisdom. Wiki wisdom. Not wiki wisdom. It was wiki. What the fuck? Yeah, I always, everybody always acted like she was some fucking superstar. It's like, no, she's not. I mean, she was in what set it off. And that was it. Jada pink it. Oh, really? Was that set it off? No, who's a sex scene with? Was it really set it off the sex scene? Thank you. No, damn. No, that's all. Yeah, it's like, she was like an extra in the matrix, the second one or

something. He was supposed to be in the matrix. Will Smith. Yeah, he was supposed to be fucking Keanu Reeves. What? Yes. He turned it down. He did. Well, because he had a formula because he knew what he turned down one of them. It was the matrix. Yeah, he turned down the matrix to do wiki. Wow. Wow. Yeah, but he still got turned down Django. Why? Well, he has a formula for movies where you need to have creatures, a love story and special effects. Those are the things that sell ultimately. That was initially he did that. M I B's independence day. He loves aliens. That was his, his manager read like 500 scripts and was like, this is the formula for blockbusters, special effects, creatures and a love story. He still picked wiki wild over the matrix. There

were some creatures. There were. There was a big spider, big mechanical spider and a handicap man that counts. That counts as a creature. True. Yeah, they had a Dr. Robotnik didn't they? They did. That's the fucking feeling. Pure Robotnik. That movie. I was pumped on that movie. A movie fucking rule. Everything. He was right on that. Artistically, he was right on wiki wild. Everything he did. I was as a young man, I was pumped on it. Wiki wild. Dude, when he put out a song for it, that was part of the market. M I B's and wiki wild, wild was like, those were good songs. That was part of his marketing, dude. They still hold up. Yeah, man. That was part of it. It's stuck in your head. It's a marketing. Dude, he's a marketing genius. Yeah, he would go do movies like that

and then you cut a track and then that would get more press and all that stuff. Dude, it was the weirdest part was is when age because there was a whole thing of like within the acting realm, like he's at a party basically. And it's like, damn, Jamie Fox must have felt like a loser in front of Wilson. And it goes into a lot of that kind of psychology. I was like, there's actors and they're superstars. Yeah, you could be in like all these movies and you're just like, yeah, guys kind of a fucking nobody. It was like, dude, it was fucking great. But that's so he got to the peak of the mountain. His family started disintegrating because his is, you know, just because of like the crazy work schedule, all this other stuff. So he was like, all right, you know, his willow

got in to whip my hair back and forth. She quit halfway through tour. She was like, all right, I'm done. He was like, yeah, the fuck? No, no, he can't be done. But she quit. And then he was Jaden wanted to be in a movie. So he was like, I'm going to heal my family. We're going to do a movie together. And it was after earth. And it fucking flapped. And then he had to sit there and watch everyone tear his son apart. And this guy's a fucking hack loser. But then he came out with icon. What was icon? It's a great song. True. I met him once in California. You met Jaden Smith. Jaden. Did you read the wingspot? I was getting buffalo wings. And he was there with his posse. And I was eating buffalo wings. And I just screamed Jaden. And he turned around and gave me

one of these and then looked away. Sweet. You screamed Jaden. I was eating a buffalo wing. Buffalo wing. Eating wings. Yeah, I met Jaden. That's what's up. Yeah, he was cool. And icons a bop. It is a bop hair, hair back and forth. They played it during the audiobook. I was like, this was this song. Yeah, so bop song did rule. Yeah, Jay-Z was in that deal apparently, too. I think Jay-Z was like managing willow. And then willow just cut her all the hair off. I was like, I'm done. Nice. Women can just shut shit down. Oh, I'm just going to shave my head. And everyone's like, ew. Yeah, we don't want to. But it was cool. But the

answer to your question, he does eventually get into kind of like meditation and stuff because he was way against it. He was like, it's fucking weird. He was a very like binary. I'm just going to win. I'm going to win. I'm going to win. I'm going to win. And then his family started to deteriorate. And then he's after Earth and it deteriorated even further. Damn, after Earth must have been really bad. And then August Alcina came in. Who's that? Oh, that's a guy who fucked his lady. Here's the other thing, too, though. Honestly, I think he got cucked for all of us, dude. Because it's like if he can get cucked, you can't feel bad. Yeah, there's nothing else you can do. He got cucked for our sins. He got cucked for us, dude. Because if you get cucked, it's like, yeah, well, Will Smith

got cucked. You can't do any more than that. Turns out, I think, what's going on with Nancy Reagan? She cucked, right? All I've seen is she was just great at sucking dick. That's kind of the vibe I'm getting is Nancy Reagan was sucking dick as a young movie as a starlet. Yeah, I think there's a wait, was she a starlet? Ronald was a star, wasn't it? Ronald was a star. I don't think Nancy was. She was just around Hollywood. Yeah. What? Oh, also, that was back when nobody sucked dick, though. So if you were sucking dick back then, you were a fucking attraction. Yeah, I didn't I used to work for like a 75 year old dude, he would be like, dude, like out of like 15 of your boys, maybe two of you would get hand jobs in high school. He's like, you had to find like a

fucked up girl to give hand jobs. It was in one of those. I forget what it was in. Somebody was like, can you do it like the French girls? It was dudes who had like served overseas. Oh, that's when the the BJ came our way. Oh, after they all got their dick sucked. And then they came home and like, you want to use your mouth on my penis. And they're like, what? I've heard about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dick sucked liberating fucking Amsterdam. God, dude, that must have been nuts. Getting head when you liberate a city from the Nazis. Yeah, or just knowing about being like, what, there's head? Yeah, dude, I'm telling you, that was like an unspeakable act back then. You had to get still is it's shameful. True. Unless you're married, even if you're married,

it's like just for a warm up. Just do it's just there to kind of grease the wheels of like marriage induced erectile dysfunction. Yeah, that's it, dude. I got one for you. I was listening to that Revolutions podcast. There's just one story you'll like, yeah, when when the when the when the colonists were starting a while out a little bit, England called Ben Franklin, they were like, dude, he was the guy in America. Ben Franklin was like the most respected dude. He had to go in front of parliament to speak to them about like, we got to figure this out. And all they did was just destroy him. Like their goal was to like, you know, ruin his character so that America didn't have like a guy to speak for them. So they

brought Ben Franklin over to England, mother fucked him for like two straight hours. He didn't say a word. He just sat there silently. He was like, all right, see you went back to the colonies was like, we're going to war. That's how that's kind of how it started because he was like on the fence. Ben Franklin was a little bit on the fence and they mother fucked them and they brought him over to try to make fun of him. It was kind of like Obama talking to Trump at the correspondent's dinner. Franklin just sat there like, okay, you probably can really Franklin so hard. Yeah. In fact, those dudes roasting him probably getting roasted by dudes and robes and wigs. And then just being like, all right, see you guys crossing the

Atlantic. You'd be like, boys, it's time. Dude, they're probably over there like, you're a portly fellow. Yeah. Like, all right, motherfuckers. Yeah. Well, I'm going to kill you guys. We'll see about that. We'll see how fucking portly I am when I have a country. Damn, dude, that's fucking nuts. Yeah, it is funny how that stuff plays into it. Yeah, just now we should avoid someone's like, bitch, and he's like, well, I guess, thousands of mental died. Okay. Yeah. Look at his fat ass and those pants. It's like, those glasses seem very gay. Do you agree? Yeah. Oh, I invented these. They're not gay. I invented them. Yeah, they are good. I always I always feel shame for the Pennsylvania Dickinson. What's that? He was a bit of a, you

know, Dickinson College and all that. He signed he was him and Franklin were the Pennsylvania boys. Nice. And Dickinson was very against. He didn't think we America could win. He's a Tory. He was a but he I don't know. He helped. I think it was Jefferson right. They wrote two things. One of them was like, we're going to stay with England. One of them was we're going to war. Nice. And Dickinson and Jefferson wrote both of them. And Dickinson helped to like make sure he didn't look like a bitch. Like when Jefferson was writing, this is why we're becoming independent. He was, he was hype man and a little sick. He was like, yeah, we are independent. But then he was like, guys, for real, we shouldn't do this. We're going to get killed. Imagine how scary that was. Yeah,

they were all going to get beat up. True. Yeah. And one of the Congresses, they got a letter from the king that was like, you guys can stop this now or we're going to kill all of you. Just so you know, they were all like, shit. Was that the invention of guerrilla warfare? There was some of that. Yeah. Are they still doing like shoulder to shoulder? Yeah, they were. And there was guys like the Swamp Fox, basically with the movie, the Patriots based off of this guy named Swamp Fox down in South Carolina. He was hitting with that. Really? Yeah, but he was Boone style. Guerrillas Spanish. Okay. For a little war. When did the Revolutionary War start? Like, because then they learned from Native Americans how to like hide behind trees and like kind of

some of that stuff. Sneak attack. Yeah. Because in Europe, they were still doing like, yeah, battle, there's battle bots, basically. They were doing battle bots because it was like, wars, wars were smaller. Yeah, it wasn't like total war. And it was like, gentlemanly, like, they would like surrender forts and be like, yes, this is yours now. Thank you. It was paint. They're paintballing. Yeah, they were paintballing. And then yeah, the Americans did get a little wild. They started a girl warfare and a little that was all from the French and Indian War. So yeah, okay, there's all dudes that were veterans from that. Because France came down. We're like, yo, we'll help you guys. France was France teamed up with the Indians and started doing some nasty

stuff. Yeah, they did have some. Yeah, it would cut everyone's fucking heads off. Yeah, dude, the frogs would sit back and be like, dude, what's going on? And the Indians were like, we got this and start skinning people and they'd be like, oh, chocolate blue. Don't cut his skin off. Yeah, I was reading that book when I when you call me, I was reading Indian boyhood. Oh, that's right. I didn't get too far into it, but it's about a dude who grew up as like, as they were being, it was a sue, as they were being like chased, dudes will come through their camps and like, they'd be chilling in like a spot, like, all right, we got some buffaloes and dudes just come through and start murdering them. Yeah, you'd be sitting there and they would just get attacked

and they'd have to get out of there. And then there would be like, inter Indian beef. Dude, the fucking accidents that occurred in these things were so fucking funny. Like what? Like, they're just like, at one point, they were like trying to get, they dedicated like a few months to just like hacking up trees and making maple syrup. And at one point, like the young boys are supposed to sit there and watch the embers. And there was like a superstition. If like, somebody wasn't watching the fire, I mean, it makes sense something bad could happen. But at one point they like, they came out, somebody screamed or something. Were they like Minnesota? Yeah, they're right around. Yep, they're right around Minnesota, crossing to BC when things would

get hot and come back down. But at one point, like the ant just like accidentally chopped off someone, ladies fingers, they're like, because we're hacking up work. And she's like, chopped off some ladies fingers and lady was screaming, they came away from the fire and the ant was like, what the fuck are you doing? Get back over there. Yeah, they're fucking bring us bad luck. You already did that. And there was a part where they were chilling on their teepee at one point. And dude, it just got like some of the Indians started getting guns and shit too. Yeah. So the one guy was like, he was trying to hunt some buffs, or he was trying to hunt a deer. And he was they were like post up near a herd of buffalo. Yeah. And that was you were good, you were good

for months. But some guy took a gun and try to shoot a deer and all the buffalo just like dispersed. So like back then the Indians would come they would kill you for that because like, you know, people are going to starve to death. So then they came up and they fucking just like littered up this dude's tent. They got gas and they just start you they go to your teepee and just be like arrows. So he had to like get away from that. You're just getting attacked constantly. Then when you're little, they'd put you on dogs. They're like dogs. Yeah. So every now and again, the dogs weren't like horses. Like the dogs would just like when you're a little kid, your dogs would just be like it was the summer they would veer into rivers. Dogs would get

bored and just jump into a river and your kids would be in there. So like, dude, he was like, a couple times ended up in the river. Yeah, the dogs are just like, fuck it, dude, let's play. Yeah, they all they only had dogs for a long time. Yeah, man, which is very funny. And they quickly didn't fully train them. So like you'd be on the thing with your little sister and your sled would just go right into a dog who catches the zoomies. Yeah, it was really funny to read. But it's about that how like, you know, the dog goes the puppers would get the puppereens who catch the zoomies. Dude, imagine really depending on a dog like that. I can't might do Jackson shits if I give him two hours time, he will shit and piss in

my basement. And it infuriates me. And there's nothing you can do. Like I've tried reasoning with them, rewarding them, putting his face in it. I've been like, dude, this is just a memory, bro. This is good for us. Yeah, man, you can't that that's tough to actually like survival wise, rely on dogs. Yeah. But of course, it was funny thinking about like two year olds just getting dragged into a river by a dog. Yeah, that's fine. That's a good laugh. That's a fun time. It's a fond memory. Probably into the into the like Mississippi. Isn't that crazy? It goes up there. I didn't know the Mississippi goes there's another river that's what splits Minneapolis and St. Paul. Is there a Minnesota River? There's probably there's one river they went through

that was apparently they're saying it's the toughest river. The dude's grandmother, dude, this lady was like 65 swam across it. Because they would make like shitty rafts. She was like, nah, fuck that. And this lady just swam, crossed it twice. Pretty nasty. Nice. Apparently people were so wildly in shape back like you'd walk like 40 miles. So it makes sense. Yeah, but he was saying walking, dude, he lost it all. He was like, dude, now it's like soft bitch, right in books. He had Indian boyhood, but he was like, it was tight. But he's some of the lacrosse games. They were sick. Yeah, big dust ups, dude. Dust ups during the lax games. It was, yeah, the fuck, it was like, they'd be playing like, literally, he's like, you couldn't see. It would get so

dust. Oh, you meant dust, literal dust up. And you said just one dude would break from the dust cloud and like score. And they'd be, yeah, that's awesome. But yeah, his name was basically like loser. We talked about that in the, the Indian names weren't like as cool as you think they were. It was all like dog boner. Yeah, his mom died in childbirth. Yeah. And so they named him like unfortunate loser. Like he was like, and his luckily his mother in law got a hold of him. Because his, his, his, yeah, his mom's mom, no, his dad's mom wanted to just like, she was like, I'll hold him. I'm not feeding them. It's obviously this dude's a bad omen. I'll let him just die and I'll throw him away. But the mom's mom was like, no, I'll raise him. Yeah, they gave you

nicknames like Rucker Park. You had to like do something and then you get a nickname. That's the name would be like, if you fucked up, your nickname would be like shit is pants. Yeah. And they had to redeem. So he, I didn't get to the part where he redeemed himself, but like another kid with a shitty name got like named winner after like his tribe won lacrosse game. Like we'll name you winner. So I was like sick. That's a victory. Yeah, that's a dude. That's high stakes, dude. Yeah, your actual name. Yeah. Pussy bitch. Your name was pussy bitch loser. It's like, well, if your uncle wins this lacrosse game, you'll be supreme champion from now on. You had to go to girls and what's your name be like? Can't get my dick hard or loser Bart balls. Nice. I suck

penises without money. Yes. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. What the Native American culture for the Native American culture. I suck penis without money. No money, Uncle suck. Yeah. Yeah, dude, that's fucking sick. They had bad names. Do your mom dies a childbirth and they're like, your name is dork. Yeah, bitch, your mom's dead. So yeah, you only eat two meals a day. If you're a strict Indian warrior, two meals. That's it. Yeah, we were trying to fucking Noah's being a glutton on the way up. We had a big seven deadly sin talk, dude. What you got to hit him with your glutton? He was being a glutton, dude. What did he do? Okay, no, what was your lunch? Actually, I'll tell you, because he's off Mike. He had a hot dog. That's gluttonous.

You can't even eat hot dog for fun. The main course. Yeah, you eat hot dogs for fun. I didn't even have one. Well, that's what he was saying. He eats for fuel. I was fuel. He had a turkey on a hot dog at night the other time and got sick. He wasn't even fuel. He had a turkey and cheese. I was fuel. You were glutton. You're fraud, too. You're fraud. Wait, fraud. He's fraud. You're wrath and greed. Wait, why would you envy his treats? I need fuel. He had a brisket. You had a brisket and a hot dog? A brisket sandwich and a hot dog. The hot dog is crazy. It's an appetizer. Oh, no. It's appetizer. Where'd you get the brisket sandwich? Yeah, right from the same place. You had a cliff bar. True glutton is if you took a bite of the hot dog while in line. Thank God, dude. Well,

you stood your ground, dude. They were envies. No, he got the hot dog. He ordered the brisket and then saw fresh dogs come out and went, ooh. You had a fresh dog as a snack. You ate a dog. You ate a fresh dog. Wow. That's terrible, dude. Well, the only reason we went to a show is because I hate hot dogs. No, hot dogs are good. That's you got to start. You did cowardice. No, you got to go demand a fresh says, dude. And when the rollers out of sizzlies, if you go to the back and say, can I get a fresh says, they will make it cowardice and one of the seven dead. It's close. It's close. You were envious of the hot dog brisket. I was not envious. You were just being mean. He was just rough. That was rough. No, he had a lean. He had fuel for sure, dude. Turkey and cheese. Turkey

and cheese sandwich. What size is your sandwich? That's a classic. I think that's a classic. Damn, this color raining down. Why is he being mean to you? It was fun discussing the seven deadly. No, look, seven deadly people are going to get jealous when you eat like a king. The peasants sit out there and say, why don't we get all those treats? And you say, quiet down, rabble. And then you say, we'll see how portly I am. You guys want to make fun of me on the internet? We'll see how fucking portly I am. It was funny. The distinction, the gluttony fuel distinction is very nice. Is this fuel or is this gluttony? I did a turkey cheese, lean turkey cheese fuel. That's nice. That's the one problem about eating for fuel was no one respects it. Do you come in and you're like,

I'd like some almonds and a turkey sandwich. People are like, why don't you get a hot day? You came in, we're eating brisket with hot peppers and a hot dog. They're like, damn, get out of this guy's way. This guy doesn't care. That's a dangerous man. Yeah, okay. No drinks in the supply chain. Yeah, supply chain. Supply chain is ruining everything. They hit diet, ice teas only. Supply chain got hit in. Well, they're trying to cure COVID. That's probably nationwide response by just the diet, ice teas guys. Again, more people croaking from the Omicron, bro. Supply chain got hit a little in Kentucky. What happened? You see that? The tornadoes. Did you see all those tornadoes? I heard about them. Dude, there was a yeah, I think they're up

to like 100. They're like 100. They hit a candle factory. They hit a fucking Amazon factory too. What? Is that where I haven't gotten my socks? Yeah. Socks are supposed to be here Saturday, dude. Well, Kentucky Amazon got hit with a tornado. Now we can't have treats and toys for the boys and girls for Christmas. Hmm. Those tornadoes. Do you think you have Amazon Prime? Perhaps. They'll go through the rubble. They'll go through the rubble for the Prime members. They'll move the bodies out of the way together. Be like, we got to get these socks to Matt McCusker. He's crew cut because everybody in front of his long socks. I didn't know there was anything between ankle and like up to your knees. Yeah, the knees. I was all or nothing. Now they have

them where they're like up to here. That's what all the cool people wear. Now I know. I didn't know that existed. Yeah. I ordered them and now this goddamn tornado, dude. These tornadoes, dude. I was watching the videos of the tornado at night. It was they were nighttime natives. So scary. The lightning would flash and then you'd see it in the distance. It'd be very spooky. And then all the lights went out while the guy was filming. Oh, man. You could hear just women screaming everywhere. Yeah, I'd say the vids. Yeah, this guy was filming it. There's filming it. Some guy, I don't know. Some guy from Kentucky down Kentucky where in Kentucky, Kentucky and zoo. That might have been the worst thing Kentucky has dealt with in terms of tornadoes for like a while. Yeah.

Also, I was gasping because I saw a garden socks and it's like, bro, I'm like, I actually think I like the knee highs. I'm more of a buttoe, bro. You are a bit of a buttoe. I'm more of a food going wild. You are a food on a food. Yeah, women women screen. So this guy's filming. He's out by like a pool. He's in like an apartment complex. Yeah, he's filming. It's scary. You can see he's filming the tornado. Yeah. And the tornado is hitting like, power lines and shit. So it's just constant explosions in the distance. And then all the lights go out and you just hear women in every apartment like, it's like, it's not helping women need to stop screaming during crazy events. Unless I think it's like an animalistic thing, because it does alert you, it does make you

scared for sure. You know, the only dog brains, it's dogs barking when something something's happening. They're just like, ah, the only acceptable vocal outbreak is during the DaVinci code with that blonde hair guy fucking grabs Tom Hanks. Dude, I was watching last night. I was watching last night. When he snatched Tom, the British guy's house, dude, I literally went, oh, dude, last night, I came home late, got home, Uber took fucking nine hours. And then I finally get home cross country flight. Long day. I get home, put on a nice compilator. Tommy's sitting here, bombed, drinking whiskey. I was like, I put on, I got home and like, we had like one put on a nice compilation. But it was one of those where like somebody foul tipped a baseball

and it flew at the screen. And Tommy was hammering anyway. It's so funny. It's baseball training. It's so funny. And he was in the bat, he was in the strike zone. Yeah, you gasped during shows and movies and it's very funny. Bro, that one got any plot twist metal go. I got scared. I actually got the guy came out and went, oh, how do you feel about scary movies? Do

you get spooked? Yeah, dude, really? I get startled. I used to get like, for days afterwards, genuinely spooked. And like, yeah, I remember that. I used to do that too. I'd be like afraid of whatever movie that was now. I don't have that. Yeah, I'm not too scared of demons and whatnot now. But it's like, you know, I've I go into the full darkness of my basement now. And I'm just fully just kind of basements are scary. Dude, it's scary. So yeah, I told you what I did.

Embarrassingly, not that long ago, I would have I would sit down my basement and just conquer the fear and sit in the darkness and just fucking just not be freaked out. So I still am a little speedy if I fucking get out of there. But yeah, I like made myself sit in the darkness because, you know, you can't be scared of the dark. We're 35. No, you can't. I was genuinely pretty. It was my new house. That's how recent it was. I'd be go down there and new houses.

Yeah, that's scary, too. Terrifying, bro. Yeah. But yeah, so now I'm pretty good at bear crawl up the steps. Yeah, yeah. I used to do my parents dog, dog run up the steps. All fours get out of there before the ghost comes out of the back room. When I go now, if I'm with a boogeyman, who's the boogeyman? You tell me, that's the pope. What? What?

Talking about the dark, I'm scared of the boogeyman. Dude, when I get when I get when I'm in the darkness now, it used to be kind of I get kind of like scared, not scared, but like, man, a demon could get me right now. Now, I when I can't see anything, it's pure darkness. I go in pure spirit realm, where I'm just kind of like, oh, yes. Oh, OK. That's fucking flip it, flip it, flip it on the demons. Be like, this is actually I like this. Pretty much. I'm not afraid of you guys.

Pretty much. Oh, I basically blind them with light when I get when I'm in, like if I'm like walking from like my stairway, Christmas lights kind of help. It's like my whole stairway is lit up now. That's nice. Are you Christmas lights on? Dude, right now I do. Yeah, it's like before that Christmas lights on the railings. That's the nicest. I put him. I put him up against protest. I fucking round them all the way down the railing who protested this. Brittany was like, she was like, go only we only need one more pack of lights.

I got three. Yeah, three piece. Yeah, fucking three was 30 bucks. I don't care. What the heck is 30 bucks? I wrapped them all up the railing. Yeah, it's pretty sick. That's my parents do that makes me feel like I'm at home, dude. The one thing about Christmas lights reminds me of home and being a young boy. It is nice. But if you're if you're having maybe a disagreement, with your babe and you're fighting around Christmas lights, dude, when you fight,

they can turn in from like a very cheerful thing to like an intensely mentally sinister. Yeah, when you're like bummed around this isn't my home. Yeah, when you get bummed around a Christmas tree and you're just like looking at it, kind of sad, like that can be tough. But obviously you have to just get in the spirit of Christmas. I know I've heard this story before, but one time my dad kicked my sister and she rolled under the tree and it fell. I think Phil had a couple of drinks and he came home.

It was Phil on the loose, dude. Everyone's not Phil would come home from the nights or something. It'd be Phil on the loose. You got to just get out, dude, because he wasn't doing it. He wasn't actually hitting you. He was just like, I'm going to get you. Like it was very fun. It wasn't an angry kick.

No, but everyone's want to he would catch you and actually be like, you know, you don't run like it's you. What's up? He was teaching lessons. He came home to teach some lessons. He de-dewide from the nights to be like, I gotta toughen these kids up. I gotta teach them a lesson. Yeah, for sure.

And I remember we were laying in the living room watching TV and he kicked my sister. She like rolled in. She like exaggerated the role, but she rolled and hit the tree. What was the lesson? The tree fell. The lesson was probably, it was probably something like turn this off. I'm watching something.

Somebody probably mouth off. I was like, no, we're going to keep watching it. God, that's so fucking funny. But yeah, it's seen a domestic take down a Christmas tree. Yeah, that's fine. That'll take out the fucking Christmas spirit. Yeah. But then you get to do the whole rebuild of like, come on guys.

You know what? Let's pick this thing back up together. Yeah, which is exactly what the dad does. Come on, everybody. This is a nice moment for us. I could turn this thing around. Guys, this is perfect for us. It's what we laugh at in 30 years.

We're going to laugh about this. That's a joke. I was pranking you guys. It's a funny prank. I got fucked up as a prank and came home and kicked you. That's nothing to do with my inability to handle my own emotions. Dude, this is a joke. It's a prank.

It has nothing to do with the fucking Irish not hitting the. Was he not right? It has nothing to do with me being a bookie. Losing a G that always be like, wait, why is dad mad? It's like, oh, yeah, the fucking. It's Sunday. Yeah. And he's a bookie.

I didn't realize that till college. My uncles would like spaz in the Kansas City chiefs. I'm like, I know, like the chiefs and the chiefs that much. Yeah. Yeah. Um, well, you know what? Where are we at? Timeless on this thing?

An hour. Yeah, you know, that's about right. A little short guy. Yeah, we'll get a little short guy. In fact, we might even page me on this one. Who knows? You think so? We'll see.

Who knows? We'll see. We can do whatever we want. Dude, this is true. We're big. Let's do the, um, we're big as hell now. We are, dude. This is huge.

Although we're adult men, none of them. That's true. Dude, I could literally do whatever. I could go home right now and just change the whole dynamic of my house. You can go home and attack your family. I could. Or you can go home and be very nice. And it's up to you.

I might do a little sweet and sour. I might be like, Hey guys, what's going on? Just like beat the fuck out of the dog. I had an uncle who used to like, I swear to God, kick his dog almost every single time he came inside from work. It was as soon as he came in, he would look if the dog was in the kitchen. He would fucking as far as hard as he could beat the shit out of it. That's really terrible.

As hard as hell. That's bad. This is back in the day, dude. I know. That's totally acceptable. Yeah. Just beat the fuck out of your dog. It was a full boot.

Boom. And it's walking back. What's up, gang? I'm back. It's a full fucking kid. Everybody. Hey, everybody. Do you all do your homework?

Yeah. Yeah. Pretty nice. At least he wasn't a glutton though. He might have been a glutton. Yeah. McCuskers are sadly glutton's dude. I've been fighting my food demons for a long time.

It's probably why I have a concentrated diarrhea. Oh, my bloody. Let's see here. Oh, God, we'll get into this in the next one. I just busted up my browser. Very nice topic. Not the 10 women's swimming team. Bit of drama going on.

Oh, I like I like some swim team stuff. A little bit of drama. I'm not going to like this one. All right. Well, we'll see on the next episode of man, chain secret pockets. My god damn. Is it on the Patreon? Is it on the regular one?

Who knows, dude? Who knows? We'll see whichever one we like. Also, guys, let's talk a bit. Let's stop fucking around. Talk business. All right, man. January 7th, January 7th and 8th.

Come to St. Lewis. Please come. It'll be so don't go to that. It's under me. It's in Caroline's on Broadway in New York City. True. Let me see if you flew from St.

Lewis. It's a small room. So it's not full. I mean, you know, I would people in the St. Lewis market. You've always wanted to come to New York. Why not do that on the 6th, 7th and 8th of January? Fly to New York City and see me on Caroline's.

Guys, flights are very expensive right now in the supply chain. You can't drink on domestic flights either. So I would fly there. Not a lot of them. You can't American Airlines. If you're in first class. Oh, yeah. Probably lost touch, guys.

You only drink on first class. January 7th. It's time for you to spend a little. It's the holiday season. Women, women that your boyfriends like the show. They're going to want to come see me do stand up live in New York City. Shane, Shane, Shane said, you guys are barking and tornadoes

like dogs. It's also a fair point. They do bark at tornadoes. Although that's more of a simian response of just kind of like a monkey see a snake. They have it. Yeah. Indianapolis, February, what you got February 4th and 5th.

I don't know. Okay, good. For some reason February 4th and 5th come out to Indianapolis. Don't think twice about it. And then Austin, Texas, dude, 318. That'll be the homecoming, man. That's my last show. My last live show probably.

For a few months. Got something cooking on the home front. What's that? We'll find out. Okay, but I probably won't be going anywhere for a while. Oh, okay. Yeah. Fucking baby, dude.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm having a baby. Second baby. So I'll be I'll be at home. I thought you talked about that already just on stage. Oh, I haven't told I haven't told my pod fam pod fam. That's a big plug. It's a big plug.

Yeah, baby coming. I have another child coming. Check that out. Baby coming. That'll be at the end after after Austin coming. About New Year's, dude. About New Year's. What a listener.

Plug New Year around New Year's. Why don't you come down to the Irvine Improv? It'll be a fun time. And I had to move my summit city dates from the 21st and 22nd of January. Looks like they're going to be in March. How about that? Really? Yeah.

I'll tell you why. That's a cool one. We'll tell our page fam. I'll tell the page. Pod fam, YouTube fam has been nice to you, but we got to get into the inner circle. Only the people we truly trust. Yeah. Only the people we really care about.

We love you guys. But we love you guys are me. You guys are more acquaintances. Let's get to the fucking inner circle of things. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Maybe this is the patreon.

No, dude. Play us out. You want me to play you a little gypsy? What are you doing with me here, dude? Too much chocolate. Wow. Yeah, man. You really got those endings down nice.

You got it. I like it. Pop, you got to pop it off. All right. Thank you for listening to our podcast. Yeah, man.