Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 411 - KIA Boyz (feat. Danny Brown & LeMaire Lee)

Episode Date: September 29, 2022

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Nice we're here, dude. Wow, this is it We're here with Danny Brown. Yo, yo, what up, though? More just cool to Detroit niggas hanging out in man shade Yeah, Danny punctual as fuck dude. I was anticipating everyone being 20 minutes late. Yeah My dad just always told me you always got you got one minute to be late So you might as well be five minutes early. That's nice. So I was just Late If you're late, you got no excuse

Mm-hmm Dude, the mayor can't control the traffic patterns was I not part in the Red Sea on the way up Matt was very much Moses in the traffic Yeah, dude, I I'll do the old drive It was safe it was safe safe But if I need to if I'm on the truck lane if I see an opening on the turnpike might I switch sometimes I do yeah Little cop passages. Oh, yeah down again. I'll help myself to a little I'll thread the needle. It's a good move I do feel like New York get a pass on being late though If you're gonna be late anywhere, you can be late in New York kind of you know, yeah, I also feel like a podcast

You can be late I was gonna text you guys this morning be like dude if it's too early. No fuck. No, I wake up I'm so mad when someone's like 10 or 11 a podcast. I mean, I mean, it's fine in my apartment Yeah, if I have to go to like gas digital to fucking do Lewis's shit. Yeah, he's a half hour late Yeah, I'll get you back when I had to take the train. It would I have to wake up at like nine. Fuck that. Yeah, that's thanks It's too early. I am in my mental prime at 11 a.m. I'm like the clouds Yeah, that's amazing you you guys shut down what you and Billy dude if they're tired, they're literally just Yeah

4 p.m. It's a hard reboot I'm gonna be at like 10 11. Yep. Yeah, that's nice. I'm up at like 4 5 a.m. Every day. That's the best crazy I know I know how old are you 41? There's 68 I It's some truth to the house where I was looking at pay to the bill the other day like damn man That's a schedule getting up early does rule my schedule got fucked up. I don't know why last couple weeks I've been on the you late night. You're in 2 a.m. 3 a.m. But that's your job

Yeah, but I'm done at one they're like still if you don't need to stand up But if you do stand up, you're done at 1 a.m. You're up till 3 like I got home at one like 130 yesterday last night New FIFA came out It's a 3 39. I gotta get it. You're adrenaline's pumping. You got us get into hot baths The only way you can settle out for stand-up hot bath hot bath after a bomb. You gotta hit the wolverine chamber Dude, you gotta hit the wolverine liquid chamber crying in the tub I

Possible tub fat it's impossible to jerk off in a hot bath. Dude. I'm huge. I can't I can't fit in any tub He said you can't wax off in a hot tub. Just clutch your knees If you get three quarters of your body covered in hot water, you're going to settle down No, we've talked about this in the tip of your tiny dicks just Just Especially the water like makes it look smaller, but It does relax you so you do get your best flasks stayed in the hot bath tub so

Just prove it off, but it's literally impossible to fap if you're nuts or in hot water You can't come I have I have a tough time wacking off in the shower I used to be able to do it when I was a young man I should just make me feel like I'm in jail, man I love myself too much. I gotta put on some candles I'm making a big deal I've recently cut porn and it's like going into your own imagination. There's still no porn. No porn, dude

Since this is weak 30 days. I might be 30 days. I think that's amazing. It's crazy. I will say You cut porn thinking you're all good. Then you hit your imagination. You're like, oh my god, your imagination Yeah, but it's also I've tried to get into the thing of like I'm like, it's just about me right now I'm not even gonna think about anyone. I'm just gonna just make myself feel I know Trying to make yourself feel good. It's the only thing it's like what am I gonna think about what am I gonna do? You're gonna think about past sex. That's the other thing too. You reboot your entire sexual history But usually right around my first kiss. I preach

Doing the whole sexual history is a nice mental fab you jack from Day one you got you're talking fifth grade. I'm talking about hugging your ants, dude Just whacking off your kids are asleep. Actually your kids are awake screaming No, that'll kill the fab that'll murder the sesh. Yeah, that sucks if that intercom comes on do the sesh Is that's the red light sesh is done Time's over covered. I was home at my parents house and I was whacking off and I'd get hit with it sometimes Oh I think it's really hard to quit porn. So that's that's good. Yeah, very good. I feel like now it's everywhere

Yeah, like just going on tiktok. I was just we just watching like video. Just yeah, it's triggered Gateway joke, dude, that's the whole I've like been able to watch the whole thought process and it's like I can look at some pics of like hot shit. It just all goes back to the point. Yeah, exactly goes back to the nog You're like, I'm gonna look at this pic and it's just porn brain. Yeah, I've been observing those things arising me And I'm like, no, you guys see Richard Dolezal's porn Her leaks. You didn't see those. I heard Dolezal's only fans was nice, dude. Dolezal got a nice body Do you whack off the Dolezal? I didn't whack off, but I enjoyed it You know

It just well, she's had an only fans for like two years, but she just started like she just started posting nudes and stuff I enjoyed it. Is she still black? Yeah, no Yeah, she's mad bronze She got black lady hair. She got black lady commercial hair. You know how they all got the same hair. Yeah. Yeah She got a nice body like a realer. Yeah Yeah God damn Richard Dolezal seems to have gotten entirely a pass from the black community

Because she was The only people that seem to have a problem are whites. Yeah every black person's like she's trying to help and have you seen her only thing She's nasty at doing hair Yeah, she apparently is really nasty at doing hair and it's just like, you know So that's an all hands on deck situation She has really good art too of some black kids of black kids. Yeah, she's good art. She's great. Didn't she like rescue? She's an artist. She's a painter. Oh really? And a sculpturist How did you go down as Rachel Dolezal?

I've been there with her. She's a nasty artist. She's fantastic. She has like a hair clientele. It's just like they're like, yeah, fuck it She does a great job. I don't care. That's what she does Wait, dude, she's the price is a reasonable. Yeah, she doesn't sew in in 30 minutes Yeah She's talented. She rescued two kids from abusive parents Her parents are apparently Adopted black kids and according to her we're just beating the fuck out of them Or beating her. She is known to lie a little bit. She does tell fibs. She lied about a race pretty big one

That must make your life so exciting though. What's a lie about your race? See the racial I'm actually Asian The fact that she got so big is really surprising to me though. Like it shouldn't even been a thing. I feel yeah Yeah, but that's the that's kind of the fly in the ointment of a lot of like Trans stuff. It's like, all right. Well, I'm gonna trans racial like you're not you don't you fucking dare That's the same thing but gender. Yeah. Oh, you're saying it was brought in because of the that's the that's their worst nightmare That's because it's like, well, okay, then I'm an old Asian lady. They're like, don't you fucking do you know?

To steal the experience of all the yeah, you can't steal like a racial identity just gender So that was a hot. That's a hot button. I also think it was a big story because that was the craziest shit It was also hilarious the entire country Of course, Washington's got a white lady at the top But it also is like, uh, you usually don't you don't see it go that way too often What, you know, I mean, you usually see Michael Jackson's Sammy Sosa You usually see the transition is usually the other way It's interesting to see a honky be like, you know, I mean, it's the hero's it's the hero's journey. It's the true hero's journey

Sammy Sosa went from Cuban to eraser man. He went to fucking boobay Yeah, boobay Every new person you meet who doesn't suss you out immediately, you're like, okay, thank god We did it again. Oh, this is my friend. You're like, all right. Here we go. Get it. Go go go. Yeah It's crazy. Yeah, that was great. One of her like fifth grade or whatever photos release She's a white girl in like a tree like Wait, that's you I think her brother and her dad were just like fuck this dude. Fuck this lady. We're bringing her down

Yeah, that would be annoying Yeah, she was pretty annoying. So what gets your blackface pictures leaked? Wow Yeah, your old white face. Yeah, your old white face. No, I'm gonna have Rachel come home for like Thanksgiving Yeah, yeah, you guys don't season your food at all Enough I think I think that was around the time Justin Trudeau got popped and he fucking dimed her out. He's like, all right There's a lady. You know, bitch ass. There's probably a whole network. She's like, I hate what do you think about Justin Trudeau, dude?

Who was that? He's a Canadian Canadian prime minister. He does blackface constantly. He got busted like He got busted once and he's like, uh, that was it was halloween 1988 and then it was like nine more pictures And you're like, everyone's like, dude, what the fuck? He's like, I don't even remember Like how many times you do blackface is like, I don't I don't know Yeah, he was he got caught. Yeah, that didn't really they didn't really hit the airwaves that hard Yeah, they hushed that big time Is that that wasn't the one that was smoking crack?

Yeah He's with the lord now he is with the lord right now graduated He was the fucking man everybody Yeah, he was funny, man So Rachel doesn't she she doing like full fledged porn only fans not full porn only fans just tasteful nudes tasteful nudes Pussy, yeah Yeah, and you got hair on the monkey. No No, really? Yeah

True. That's actually yeah, that's a good question She'd have to shave it. Yep to maintain exactly. I mean there's hockey pubes People got mad at Kanye West for asking Paul McCartney what like 60s pussy was like, but that's like a good question The people that if you don't remember the internet got mad at him for that No, he asked he he's Kanye West said when he met Paul McCartney He asked him the first thing he asked him was like, what was 60s pussy like? That's a real sexual added question It's probably the same I imagine it's a bit fresher A little more right

A bit fresher in terms of it wasn't like, you know, they're getting dinged up these days You know, like an Alaskan called salmon in the 60s fucking if you're a girl fucking the Beatles you were probably True, but it's like, yeah It was crazy times They're hitting you there was like four dudes with five inches of peas A couple bullcups dude Pre-john landed pre-jacking in like three minutes. There's pale guys with flat asses And back then I didn't care about ages or nothing

No Niggas fucking teenagers or what type of shit That might have been a cody question because that was it was fully on they were crushing 14 year olds Dude, you see Dahmer He got 260s pussy He got some 60s pussy So he was a pedophile that started like killing and eating people. He was just yeah That's one life path

It's kind of boring I'm gonna start eating Yeah, he was and then he was he was in I think it was Milwaukee He was just going to gay clubs gay black clubs. Nice and he would bring dudes home and drug them and then kill them Chop them up and shit. What? Yeah. It was it's a pretty fucked up. That was post pedophile. Yeah Then one guy get away One kid got away a 14 year old got away Was sitting outside his black lady's called the cops and they were like there's a kid out here

He was in an apartment complex. He wasn't in a house There was people that were like, dude, this this guy's house stinks We gotta call the cops constantly and the cops were like, you know, shut up But then the cops came and there was a 14 year old kid sitting outside Dahmer comes He's like, oh, that's just my boyfriend and they were like, we don't want anything to do with this gay shit Go ahead take them. They took him back into the house. I mean he killed him. Oh my god Yeah, he was drilling holes and he was trying to like make them zombies or something Yeah, anyway, he was a mad scientist. He was a mad scientist. Yeah

The doom of being in someone's apartment having like here's what we're doing right now. It's like you're murdering me. Yeah You're gonna raid me. It's so scary. Especially like your drugs. You're like Anyway, that's a fun show. I was hoping you guys saw it Dahmer nah, dude, I fucking I fucked up man. I was on What'd you say? That sounds horrific. Yeah, it's truly terrible, dude. It's the worst. It's the worst It's the worst thing. I'm just trying to hang out, man Just trying to play steam dick Yeah, yeah, it's like, all right. I mean, I guess all this guy fucked me

So I don't want to be a dick but then all of a sudden he starts like eating your neck and Damn it. It's just drilling holes in my head. That's what dates with ladies are like He's just trying to hang out It was like a like prostitution type of shit like what type of niggas was going home with that nigga, man That's my whole shit. Like I'm gonna go home with Dahmer Dahmer he would get him. Yeah, what was his g like? Yes, what I'm saying

He was he's real salt smoking midwest boy. Really? So they were all like, I'll I'll go fuck this guy. Yeah He's like, oh geez. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he sounds like Joe Perry. You're watching Something's he's dude the guy who plays Dahmer is Joe Perry If you watch the show, it's just Joe Perry and he keeps getting in trouble that like his dad will be like, Jeff What the hell are you doing? He's like, I don't know dad. Jeez Just trying to have a drink. What the heck? Jeffrey Dahmer constantly was fucked up. Really? Yeah, that made me like him a little he was just always Go get shit-faced drunk since he was in high school

And then he'd just start killing people. What then wake up like, oh, no What happened is like Jeff he had done it again Is this a series? It's a series. Yeah, it's on Netflix. It's fucking good. I mean, it's a little long, but it's Yeah, it's good. They tap it in the childhood. What was up? Yeah, they show that what was going on His dad was like He his dad and him like we're into taxidermy together So they would go his dad would like they'd be driving and he'd be like, oh, there's a good one dad And they'd scoop up roadkill take it back to that shed

Little jeff he would be in there all day. Just oh playing with gut It makes sense now made sense and he just graduated to real news Yeah Damn, yeah, I fucked up. I went on I I skipped over that I watched this thing on netflix about infinity Big mistake, dude. You got high and watch stuff about infinity. Yeah, fucking blue, man Everything always fall for like black hole infinity content. It's just there's nothing new to report Like all 2022 they might have some breakthroughs No, literally just dorks being like it's a very exciting concept

And they don't explain it for two hours. My dude fucked this. You see they smashed a refrigerator into an asteroid I didn't know it was a refrigerator. It was a refrigerator. It's a refrigerator sized drone. They smashed it to an asteroid like armageddon style Yeah, yeah, NASA was like testing whether or not they could stop asteroids. Yeah It's just a fridge they flew it into an asteroid slightly off track, dude Really? Yeah, you just get it slightly off track and a little bit of pull little billiards. Yeah Little billiards, little kiss, little kiss on the ball, little English on the ball This fucking hits hard

What's up with you, dude? Come on. Yeah, true. Go She's just a jukebox. Come on, man. Hangin' out, man. Just hangin' out after she got the diver, man. I don't know about y'all, dude. There's no more Yeah, you want a drink? You want a drink? True. Hey guys, let me tell you something real quick while I have your attention I love lucy gum, guys. This is my personal test. This is my personal testimony. It's just lucy gum is really good And I love to fucking unwind with a lot of their flavors, which I really like and personally endorse When you've had a long day and you want to unwind like a grown-up

Grab your favorite lucy gum or nicotine pouch Check out all lucy has to offer at lucy.co. That's lucy.co Use promo code drenched at checkout if you're a listener from canada You can now get lucy at ca.lucy.co Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical But if you're interested in a better way to use nicotine visit lucy.co and use that promo code drenched That shows frustrating as fuck, dude, because every dude's so close to getting away Like he'll be like, come on. They go into his apartment and they're like, holy shit. It stinks like shit in here

It was disgusting and he's like, come on, man. Just stay Like, all right It's like let's have a drink, man, and then they'll take it and be like You put something in this and be like, no, it's just dish soap. Just drink it. They'll be like, all right What the fuck? Yeah, they're drinking tide pods. Yeah, he was tide podding them up. Yeah That's crazy. Damn, dude. Yeah, that's creepy, man. Danny, what are you watching? That's creepy But then they showed a clip of Gacy. Who's that? Gacy was like the clown guy Bro, I guess yeah, he had 33 people under his house

On his crawl space 33 dead bodies Just showing up and we're like, yo, he was like, it's not what it looks like Under his where in his basement in his crawl space under his house. Did it stink? Yeah, it was 33 fucking It'd be composing bodies. Yeah, dude. How do they not get that? I guess it's yeah, it's tough How would you dispose of a dead body if you had to? It just takes so much to get the cops out They took so much. They don't come out. Yeah. Yeah. It's the Midwest for you. Yeah I mean like even right now and in fucking Milwaukee. I've been in factuated. Y'all know about this. Kia boy shit. No uh

In Milwaukee, um, I guess they got like crazy, um Grand theft like like still in car. Oh Rules and shit like so if you under like 18, you're only getting like two weeks for still in the car But what they figured out is that they can steal kids with usb. Chargers like iphone chargers And Kia's not doing nothing about this. It literally been like over 5000 kids getting stolen like every day But you gotta think these kids so they can't drive. Yeah, so they're just crashing into shit. It's just pandemonium Still in work. I watch on youtube and I watch them like skate videos. I love it, man I mean, yeah, and then they got their own soundtrack. They make the music to go to the shit

But it's starting to spread too now because and then it's almost like what came first the chicken of the egg because Who the fuck who the fuck thought about putting a usb in the kid? But every time you watch the news when they talk about it, they're giving you a fucking step by step Breakdown of how to do it. So it's been spreading to other cities like they're starting to do it in texas not even doing it in michigan They just hit it of southfield Kia dealership. It's all a whole bunch of tears. My dad has a Kia I'm gonna have to call Got a lot so everybody locking a Kia's up with those it's Kia's and Hyundai's actually too. You can do it with a Hyundai Every time I see a Kia, I'll just be like, damn

I want to try it now New Kia's are nice too. Kia's are nice. 100,000 mile warranty. I thought about that's a good warranty dude 100,000 miles You gotta find a 16-year-old to steal a Kia for you. It's sad. It's really sad Yeah, it's nice if you want to get cash in on the insurance. It's like yo, dude Yeah, and they and they drive crazy like call it making a shake One of these things for show gonna be some F1 drivers or some shit Then they just crash and leave they crash in and everything man Like it's one video I saw it was like every it was like four kids

They got into a car accident in the Kia, obviously, but all of them was laying on the ground with their legs broken The guy recorded a video he did the greatest commentary every look at these stupid ass little They get no, but it's two weeks. That's the thing if they get caught by the police They only they can only give them up to like two weeks or some shit about it So they just get right back out and and they brag about getting the two weeks like yeah I feel like the cops should be able to break your legs at that point. I feel like he needs to do something I'm gonna walk you please I'm gonna drink some water. Let me a nice Kia commercial. They had to embrace it

Young kids hanging out. Yeah, so the hamsters Yeah, so now people are terrified to own Kia's because it's pretty much somebody just stole a Kia from my neighborhood And they found you know, you're gonna ring and see all the shit Yeah, they see all the shit to have me on a but somebody just recently stole a Kia and they drove it all the way to Houston Yeah, that's a nice sometimes you'll people steal cars use them for like murders That's like the best-case scenarios. Yeah, that's nice. This is an international Enjoyed this car steals your car is like smoke's cracking it leaves it in Maryland. It's like all right. It's not bad Yeah, but it's really an epidemic though. It's really and it's that's scary because just imagine you on a road

Just you as a driver you got fucking Going crazy man, I swear it's scary, man I'll do it. I'm gonna just ride my car right into it. Fuckin if I see kids on the road. I'm riding right into One of the police Because I know well if I was a kid I've probably been doing that kind of shit What him and his buddies they were like they're like 15. Yeah, damn. Just hop in the car driving right here. Yeah Yeah, never talked about that Yeah, his mom died like a month before my aunt. Yeah, god damn. It was a rough week rough month

Yeah, that's terrible. Yeah. I was a kid. I was I was young enough that I was like funerals are actually pretty fun Yeah, as you go to the after like, you know, it was like a party after the procession do get the whole family's back Yeah, true. I was crushing food My parents let me run a video game because they thought I was sad. True. Yeah New excellent video game, dude. I hope all my cousins It all funerals are celebrations. You gotta have fun at a funeral. Yeah, unless it's a fucking 15 year old in a car accident Yeah, that's pretty brutal. Yeah. Hey funeral. I ain't gonna laugh. Yeah. I don't fuck with the older you get I'm fuck with it a little more. The worst was the high school the kids

I would die in high school and everyone pretended to be boys with them as like, dude cut it out That was a fucking war like dude. We were best friends. Every time a comic dies. Oh, yeah I was a picture of them from fucking eight years ago. Nothing worse than Social media eulogizing fucking kind of kills me. Yeah, Joan Rivers was an inspiration. It's like, dude, shut up man. Shut the fuck up Shut the fuck up about that. If you guys ever heard of don't hug me. I'm scared. Yeah, I love that shit. Yeah, the new season just started Yeah, it's all about they have an episode about death. That's basically like that. Yeah What's the premise of the show? It's like, uh, it's a pretty bad. It's amazing. It's like, um It's like it's it's really all about um saying how children shows fuck kids up. Yeah

So it really is based on like it's based on like it's like a sesame street parody kind of Wonder shows and something like that. Wonder shows was the shit. I was just showing that to Nate. Yeah I was Wonder shows and was this old show on mtv that was like a dark kid show That's pretty much really good. It was really funny But don't but like watching don't hug me to be like you think you watch and hold some content Then by the time you get to the end of the episode, you'd be like, what the fuck just happened I'm gonna really just take a turn for the worst on you quick

They were doing that on youtube They were putting out fake kids shows that would like promote like if you're like when you're like looking So you like triangles on the screen and be like Nazi jerk. It would just start talking about like hit learn shit It's pretty fucked up. Yeah, that was a whole thing. Yeah, so I kept saying that to Nate kill your parents Yeah, because me and Nate were arguing all weekend about about race. Oh, yeah I'm just gonna be like me dude. We're the best We'd be like, y'all stink Especially after five minutes of silence and driving it was yeah, it was like a seven hour drive

I had to drive from Boston to fucking Philly on sunday That was sick though. I got to open for chris rock. That's awesome. That was sick. Yeah. How was it? It was awesome Nice, it was awesome. That's awesome. For some reason. I didn't anticipate his crowd being as black as it was Yeah I didn't even think about it and then we pulled up to the venue. It's in north Philly We pull up. It's just like black ladies walking in. I was like, holy shit. They're gonna hate me. That was at the Met, right? Yeah, it was at the Met. It was it actually went well. It was good. No. No Yeah, it's just about to dandy you want the link to it, you know, dude. I got a I got a youtube link for

For don't hug me. I'm scared. Oh, yeah, I'd like that. Yeah, dude. Okay. Okay. I'll give it to everybody Everybody get the link. Hey gang, let me tell you guys something about this displate Displate is a one-of-a-kind metal poster that only takes 20 seconds to install Just your poster comes with a magnetic sticker. Just pop it on the wall and hang your poster. No power tools No wall damage You can easily switch it out for a new poster when you tire of looking at whoever you're putting up there You can also sit them on your lap They have millions they have millions of designs available literally millions of designs

In officially licensed designs from star wars netflix call of duty and more Click the link in our description to see some of our favorites and get your own sexy lady Save 25 off if you buy one or two and get 29 off when you buy three or more The discount will be automatically applied to your cart when you click our link Use code drenched when you visit displate.com to get the discount That's displate.com code drenched or click the link in our show notes Thanks gang, but now I kept singing the wonder shows and song to Nate the fucking white people having fun global domination for everyone

Yeah, anyway, that's good stuff wonder shows is classic Yeah, I'll just really be on youtube trolling. Yeah, I became a trope during the pandemic No, I mean like we we find like these, um, it's really like a crew of us too. I should probably talk about this Well, yeah We just find like certain people in the internet to fuck with and now just we got this new guy his name is syrex he's like a He's he's he's a little touched a little fucked up guy He's from ohio and we just fuck with him all the time like

He was like He wants to be a rapper. He wants to be a he always come up with something new But I would say the funniest thing we did Was that it got to the point like we'll fuck with him so much he had to lead his accounts and shit Like I'm not coming back. I'm not coming back And you know He always come back in like a week or something and we'll be geek but one time he like I'm not doing this shit No more y'all running my life. I'm not gonna come. I'm not coming back to youtube. I'm not coming back

So then he left and he was gone for like a month and we are bored. We all at a disco So we came up with this plan to say he died so we were just all making like tribute videos to him like syrex Gone but not forgotten We love you so much You know, he popped back up I'm not dead. I'm not dead. And then somebody just came up with a hilarious thing. He's like, no, this is a ai They're doing this right. It's ai racks. It's not syrex. No, boss I did that best of all me before if you come back and make videos and shit like this is not the real syrex

This is wrong. Why are they doing it? Is he posting videos of him rapping shit? Yeah. Oh my god. He plays good No But what what what reason why we really start turning views as you get no views you get we just you guys We get more views than him talking about But what happened was we somebody posed as like a 13 year old girl and he starts sending dick pics to But that's what make them Yeah, so now we we we try to we just really just Yeah, we torch room after that like it's on dang dude at first. She felt bad and they're like, oh, we were right

Another thing too somebody just made a um Action figure character of him and we sold him. We bought him online like one day. He's so pissed because he's not making money for me Like who's making these toys of me? You need to cut me Yeah, that's a toss up with the special needs groups. Have you hit him with the pedo stuff? Yeah Yeah, so it's open. Yeah, special needs groups. They're susceptible to they can plead I feel like they can court. They can kind of plead. They should be that's what we've talked about a thousand That's what bothered the fuck out of me about to catch breader. Yeah It's like, uh, chan shit y'all know about him too

No, I mean he a trolling group got to him and pretty much, you know, he was little mentally fucked up He's actually I believe this is going to be a netflix series one day about yeah Because he's like the most he has the most content on the internet of any person ever like and he's just he's been He's really fucked up. Yeah, but they made him bang his mom. Oh, that's the one They convinced him to bang his mom. Yeah, now he's locked up in jail right now for banging his mom. That's illegal I mean, she was like 80 years old with dementia. Oh, she didn't do it. Oh, is there like a talent in the law where it's like under 18 and above 76 pito

The talent of making slow That's the amendment. That's going to be a wing in the military in like 20 years Just online trolling groups Right, actually it totally fucking is russians got us. True. They're probably hitting better. It's hard right now Yeah, he weak pussies. But yeah, that is the thing that is trolling groups, man. Like I didn't know that something like that existed Hopefully I don't It's an evil force you know fucking your mom. Well, it's true But that's why you ever see that one video of that guy

He was playing this other guy online And then the guy said something and he was like, yo, I'm gonna fuck your mom and he like found where he lived He went to his mom's house and he fucked his mom. He like come down her face He was like, ah and send the video to the kid That's it. Make me kill myself Yeah, that would be How did he did he say like how he would and seduced his mom? That guy came on you you just showed up

To be fair, yeah, if you just if you've just been kicking around for like 20 years after having a kid and you're kind of bored and someone rings the doorbell. I was like, it's on You know, tough to turn down. He's probably like, I'm here to teach your son a lesson Yeah, we're like, I'm a successful youtuber and I know your son. Yeah, I'll fuck you for sure. That's sad. That's sad That's sad. Yeah, I mean, dude, that can totally happen after you have kids like they're gone There's a huge chance you completely lose yourself and you're just You're just I don't know what to do with myself a drift someone could completely come smash you out Tribute pick you send it to your kid

I thought I was done parenting. I didn't know I could have someone come on my face No, that's sad. Yeah, that's thanks man Yeah, I try to avoid my bad guys. I didn't mean to That's all right I just a logical conclusion of all this kind of that's a logical conclusion That's how it ends someone to smash in your mom's come on the mom's hopefully she dies like ghost rider for 2016 is coming in Before it's too late What hopefully my mom passes before it's too late and woozer. Yeah

Before one of the redditors Now big Phil's holding it down. He's why big Phil be talking in there. Yeah, this guy that yeah, dude That'd be tough, man Yeah, there's a world of dudes that go especially like the senior citizen ladies that like come through and smash out senior citizen Ladies there's a lot of like maintenance men. Oh come through like have at it Oh, you mean it like rentals an apartment complex go through you're checking the thing you see like it like a 75 year old geese It's open season. Yeah, what happened. Did you fall? Or punch something? Oh, no, that's perp. I had a paint something purple

You're like scrape it off. What were you painting the tomb? Oh, this is a new place purple issues Yeah, it's a controlled environment check unit controlled environmental chamber Smashing old ladies is bizarre Yeah, you don't need to do it. That's just a smell It's been a while it's been a while you've been servicing boilers for like 15 years no touch So like sensory overload, man, but they got the perfume on Lots of perfume. They're hitting you with cookies. You're like, is this trick trying to fuck?

Oh, lady perfume is different, man. Yeah, it's not good It's like what I mean, dude, it's gotta be checking boilers every day for 40 years It's time to fucking be down the boiler. It's time to feast. It also might be The softest the softest touch. It might be the I think it might not. I think it's the worst. I just think It's easily the worst. I just know the moans would be crazy Oh Especially we get in there, but like you're such a nice boy. You're such a good boy Yeah, they'd say insane just feeding you worthers while you're smashing

They'd be like, I haven't been touched like this You want me to put my finger where my ass, ma'am? I've never heard of that in your butt. It's a long skinny old finger Okay, dude, I'd do an old lady. I think I guess 70 dude For sure, dude, yeah Oh, I can't talk about that talk about your arrangement. I can't talk about that I hear you've been bragging a lot about your sexual prowess. No, what's

I've heard This is a lie. I would never brag about I heard you talk about how horny you are a lot. No, I've been a little horny, but I'm not like bragging about sex. I don't have a reason to brag. All right, so I give it What's like the last tale you saw but you like what happened play by play. There's no there's uh, we both cried That was Yes, simultaneous crying. That's good though. Yeah, it was the last time. So, yeah It was a farewell sex. It was a farewell sex. Is there any music being played? No, dude. That sounds sad. Clapping cheeks. No He's been bragging douches

So you're clapping cheeks and then you started sobbing Are you sure that your partner is crying or was it just you? It was just probably me Hey, dude, I'll let out some tears if fucking I'm sad. I'll tell us on the way up. You're talking about The realization about wwe. Oh, yeah, I was crying because I realized I'd never be wwe champion I was just smoking weed watching tv and then like There was a wrestler. He was like 24 and I was like, I'm 30. I'll never be wwe champion One day it's coming back. I'm gonna defeat a professional wrestler right now though. So, you know, maybe one day Yeah, dude, maybe one day

The dream is gonna call you off Triple H himself is gonna make lamere, brother. Yeah, well doesn't that sucks if you have a loss because doesn't somebody write your losses for you Like, come on man, my name is perfectly. Yeah, you're gonna take it now. Lamere goes in and takes the victory I just snatched the victory from the Charles defeat. Yeah You get I don't want to I know magicians don't reveal the tricks But how like how much of it is like kind of impromptu and like if you're like going into like, yo, you're gonna lose How do you feel about that? Yeah, it depends. It depends. Shater would fuck you up, dude. Shater. No, dude We were supposed we were on teams for a little bit, but he went off and did his own thing. Oh, he broke up

Yeah, he broke the tag team called. Uh, I'm a part of the lasagna club. The lasagna club. Is that the name? The lasagna Like garfield the lasagna club. Yeah. Yeah, no, no, he's not gonna call dude These guys can't be the lasagna You gotta get into like the occult or something. Yeah, you gotta be satanic Everybody loves the lc I do have a lot more respect for wrestlers now. I did not do it as a kid You always just thought it was faking like some wood But no, you really have to be fucking in shape and that's hurt man. That's watermelon because I'm painkillers and shit

That's where all my respect comes from if someone jump in from like five feet up I'm like, oh, that'll get your knees after a while It's a five-foot turn buckle jump. I'm like, oh, you haven't watched that Jaleel guy. Oh, yeah He's terrifying Front flips That was the guy who showed me he was just talking about this age. Yeah, I did a back flip off like a 12 foot ladder I heard somebody though. Yeah, he can't be stage diving in front of a stage dive Hope it's a two-year-old little white girls and shit

He's gonna hurt somebody 20 feet in the air onto a group. Yeah, I did his voice is so light Dude, I watched like the genius like, you know And he's like, I just high energy man. I was like, holy shit. Yeah I'm gonna make him mad though and his like his arms is like Way longer than this should be man He looks like geo dude. He does. He looked like he customized his character, man. Yeah He's he's fully customized. By the way, you're tough to customize. I admit you're my ufc I'm I have you as my ufc guy. I have a career right now. It's limerily

It's impossible to get those eyes in the game You guys yeah, you're undefeated Made you a strong wrestler. Yeah, nobody can get up. Obviously ground and pound lay on him. What's your wrestling style? Uh lay and pray Oh, you mean oh wrestler wrestler I thought she's talking about wrestling like I am at your wrestling just like lay on him like You know, that's what we're talking about. Yeah. No, it's about pro wrestling. I'm my pro wrestling. I'm a I'm a I'm a I'm a guy at those Kicks I could do cartwheels. I'm a cartwheel guy. Wait, so you don't bust it out

You don't bust out the kicks and cartwheels for the amateur circuit. No Also in ufc, your dimensions are impossible to make Although Barnett reminds me of you. Yeah, that's the fucking man. I was at that last fight. He did. It was insane Is he in the game? Do they have him on the game? I don't think he's in the game yet So gotta be the next he will be he's the he's the fucking man, dude Yeah, I went down a whole rabbit hole of his whole shit and if it's a but man That's that's really impressive man to be that size and to be doing that kind of shit. He's doing But he's saying his mom or something trained him. She was like a family or like

They own their own gym. So he's been doing this shit since he was a baby And he's literally what's what is he fat? Barnett's not the Australian dude. It's from the south. No, that's too evasive That's the man too So Barnett's another Barnett's a heavyweight, but he's king hippo. He's the man And then he's he's doing spin kicks and shit and he's like and he'd like 300 pounds or some shit, man And he's a little he's short Yeah, he's too big but like

What there's a cap to that. Yeah 365. Oh, wow What the fuck who did he fight? Oh, oh that big fucking white dude Uh, who's he's a monster? Oh, uh, uh, uh chris Because he's from Philly. I think big guy. Oh, no No, it wasn't docus. Shout out docus. He watches this dude. Uh Yeah, and he got a personality too. Like I feel like he's what he's doing. He's about to blow up. He comes out and dancing He's like he's happy. He's happy. His fiance before this fight his fiance like died like suddenly. Yeah Like oh like before the fight she like died and he still went up to do the fight still went out to like

No, you lost you lost but he was No, but the one before that one the two fights ago Yeah, that's not supposed to happen. You're supposed to win that fight. Yeah I mean, unless you like you're just out of it. You're just like, what the fuck am I doing? I know there's one thing you don't play with man. I swear to god like because I recently, um, you know I always talk shit about on my podcast. I'm always getting my ass with So a guy hit me up from a Muay Thai gym. I'm like, you try to get in your ass with you should come try I'm like, you know, maybe take some classes. So I've been doing Muay Thai for like the last for the last few months

Oh, sure. And you know, you're gonna need someone in a fight. Why are people beating you up? I mean, I'm just talking about my in my kids You know, I was getting the fights. I didn't come on your podcast and like It humbled the fuck out of me though. Like that's the last thing I want to do is fight somebody now You and yeah classes ladies looking like five foot secretary. He's throwing fucking monster kicks You like you so someone's like, you don't know what someone can do now. Everybody knows some shit now. You give it I'm saying so it's like you got it. Yeah, I don't like everybody I feel like I don't like it everybody knows stuff. Yeah

I've always been big. So I've always been like, all right. I can lay on that guy. It's like, no, he'll shatter my arm Yeah, that's why it's never more important to preserve the second amendment in case a lady can like arm bar me I want to be able to shoot her until the lady's gonna be I'm not losing a fight to a lady. I'm carrying a weapon in case like I'm bullying a lady Yeah But if you taught me it really humbled me though I get drunk talk shit to people, you know, you know, whatever now. Fuck that I'm quite as a church monster now, man. I ain't trying to have no problems with nobody. Yeah. Yeah, and I love it

I actually kind of getting addicted to it, man. Like I'm since I've been out here for this week I'm at a miss clash like fuck. Yeah, I just want to go Yeah, that's awesome. It's fun just to learn how to not move your head like Seven feet away from a punch when they start training you like throw a punch and you're like Just to learn how to just kind of like go like that. It's pretty nice. It's just been great to see the improvement Just even I'm not going 40 years. Oh, I don't even supposed to be doing no shit like this But now I'm literally seeing myself get better at this shit. That's awesome. And it's fun because I mean, you know No one really I don't think no one really likes working out like that, you know

But it's that's a fun workout to do that. Yeah kicking shit punching, you know, it's fun It's good to get into that too It's supposed to run your 40 because it's either you're either going to completely decline Or it's like step up and just go to old rip man status and it and it definitely Starting to create like discipline for me too And so it's like sometimes like man, I'm not drinking at night. I gotta go to class tomorrow. That's shit gonna fuck me up So it definitely has been a real improvement of my life. I will say that's a yeah Even like even just changing my diet and just doing that kind of shit, you know

You're only saying the armba and it's a and it's a community too. That's one thing that I like about it too Like like would you like, you know, you're scared to like join the gym sparring and doing shit like that But just being a part of the gym everybody want to see everybody get better So like everybody's helping me. Everybody's trying to teach me how to get nice and shit. So that's sick It's been great. Yeah, I was disappointed with you Jetsu. None of those guys talk to me at all No one ever talked to me. I was always like, all right, they thought you're a dummy Hey, do you want to roll with me? You're such a good community. I'm like, yeah, nobody ever talked to me the whole time Didn't even get tapped by a girl early. That was a different place

I fucked her up. I fucked her up. I fucked her up. Yeah Because I was like, yeah, I don't really want to do this and she just bent my wrist I was like, ah, what the fuck was that next time everyone looks over next time. I fucked her up I was like, all right, fucking gloves are off No, I literally she tried to step up and I grabbed both of her ankles and popped her feet off the ground And laid on her back knocked the wind out of her We're currently one in one right now You gotta find her and shoot

Me that like third grade teacher or ever she does we're one in one I put an ex-girlfriend in jiu-jitsu and it's probably the dumbest thing I've ever did in my life I put an ex-girlfriend in jiu-jitsu like where I was dating But you know, because I used to be on the roll all the time She'd be home by herself and I was like, you know what I'm starting. Yeah, you know, just being very annoyed I'm like, let me, you know, treat her to be able to protect herself You know, so I put her in gun classes and she learned how to shoot guns and I was like, whoa, what are you doing? Let me put you in jiu-jitsu. Yes, that's what I'm trying to say

Just trying to get killed. So they're like five years, maybe like five years later after it or something Now she's teaching kids classes and shit like that. That's cool. She's looking at me like, man, shut the fuck up I'll whoop your ass That'd be nice ever trap you in the guard though, but yo, I know that is I can't escape fighting over the remote trying to watch tv Just puts you in a trap I think it's good for a woman to learn how to fight though. Yeah I mean, especially in this day and age, you know what I'm saying? Like if I had a daughter a young daughter

I would definitely put her in some type. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I mean not to be disgusting But it's the perfect thing to be able to do a woman on her back with her legs to defend someone like that to defend herself pretty sick I want to bring up Imagine being a rapist and getting triangle choked Just coming non-stop That's your ultimate thrill you're just like, oh fuck All right, whatever sorry We need more of that to have ladies just choking

I love watching girls fight like, um, I've been watching one championship now Dude She's a beast. I'm big and stamped fair tax. That's my lady. Are you coming to our gym? La Mer loves ladies. La Mer loves that. He plays with ladies in video games. Yeah Big cammy guy you guys are the same person Do you like anime? Do you like anime? All right, good Yeah, you're an anime guy, right

I enjoy it. I don't really seek it out. But I what if I watch it? I'm like, oh hell, yeah I'm more of a documentary guy. I've always been like that. Yeah, I don't watch much tv though I'm more just watching dumb youtube shoot. Everything. That's not helping me. Everything. I'm truly fucking blows. Yeah Except from I don't I get movie recommendations from my bros. That's the only thing I watch Someone's like, check the show out. Yeah, kingdom of heaven. That was great kingdom of heaven was fucking sick What are you watching on youtube? I told you we'd be trolling people. Oh, yeah videos just bothering retarded pedophiles The open mic world of rap is crazy

Because like seeing rap completely stripped of all like the confidence and skill It's like really a tough thing to watch. It's like, oh, fuck you forget dudes like struggle Yeah, you only see the end product really We were talking about that a little bit because I was asking him I was like, you're thinking about doing stand-up He's like, no, I bombed already. I don't have to do that again Bombing and rap we were talking about with ron like battle raps or like that had to be this That has to be the lowest Like that had to be like because bombing and stand-up sucks

Because that's a whole room of people being like, no, we don't like you. Yeah Like you're trying to be funny right now. We are mad Yeah, I feel like bombing a lot of times you can bomb and rap but you can kind of hide behind the music too Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Just up there to beat the open shit. You know what I'm saying? But with comedy like you up there one mic you gotta go I did so last night I did a joke up front I tried to open with a new joke At the cellar and it didn't work really and I've never bombed I'd never bombed there. It's so easy to do well there

Yeah, and uh, yeah, there was like a one or two minutes up front of like silence and me being like Uh Because I was an open mic guy, I mean on detroit we always had like open mic, you know Open mic rap shit. So I used to go to them shits all the time and I mean The worst shit would be like if you wasn't cool with the dj. Yeah, he'll give you the worst fucking So it was shit like that. Do you know what I'm saying? You up there trying to wrap the mouth deep got it twisted Was there a was there a heavy influx of white rappers after eight mile?

No, I wouldn't say so I wouldn't say so but if you did see when they were nice as fuck Yeah, like scary nice like yeah, we had we had a few we had a few hey gang Let me tell you about express vpn Using the internet without express vpn is like leaving your kids with a stranger while you use the bathroom Someone could touch them Most of the time you're probably fine, you know, mostly strangers aren't going to touch your kids But why would you risk that? Every time you connect to an unencrypted network like at hotels and airports

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Yeah, I've been an open mic and I remember I saw a wrap at home and it was like I just why i've never seen rap fail. Like it was like it was a guy He had this concept and the whole song was like about his lighter and how like How cool like how much he's attached to his lighter He's like I smoked my weed with my lighter and like it's just the concept flatline And everyone was and it was just like he was like flicking it on Like He was trying to get the lighters out. There's like 13 people there. He was like, yo, it ever was like that

I was like, oh, fuck. I forgot there's like a whole world of bad amateur rap. I'm like, it's Stinks. That was definitely more bad rappers than our good ones. Yeah I've never seen like the absolute bottom of So all that night. I was like, damn, dude, that sucks Be like Freaks Yeah, like if you really want to like rap, I think it's just one of those things like I tell people all the time

I don't really think You can't really like learn it almost it's like it's almost got to be like born Born with the shit kind of because it's so much shit. It takes so much to be good at it Yeah, and you got to kind of be on it like 24 seven like almost how y'all guys are with jokes and shit Like if you come up with a line, you got to be writing them shits down all day Like you in the shower or fuck that I just came up with a punchline. Let me get out the shower Yeah, I'm gonna forget it, you know, then you're piecing it all together. So it's got you never off the clock That's pretty much what I'm saying. If you want to be good at rapping

It has to consume your life you have to be on it 24 seven You have to be listening to everybody else shit making sure what's going on. You got it's a scene You got to be and once I say myself not like Being like that with it anymore. It was like I'm not saying I'm you know lost a love for anything But I'm just it's too consuming. It's too hard to still be in that shit Like yeah, that's older you get and then a lot of shit you don't understand. It's still a young man's game kind of You know, but I will say the cool shit is that you know Hip hop is still growing to the point where you're seeing 50 year old jz still busting bars

We ain't never had 50 year old raps before so now you have a year old listener. So it's growing So we're so in the 50 year old rappers like some don't age well at all. It's rough No, they don't age well at us, but we're finally starting to see rappers But like jz actually is doing like what a 50 year old would be rapping about He's like talking about property values. Yeah, yeah, there is truly nothing There's nothing cooler than like super old black dudes. So you'd think they'd be able to tear it up But but no, but what happens is I don't park next to my house. It's like

nine very old black dudes out there talking all day like the fucking funniest shit Like yesterday some dude was like leaving his trash in the park And they all just united and turned on this one guy like get your fucking trash out of your bull He's like, come on. Fuck you guys. We guys are all gay together and fucking They all just went full they all just like formed up and attacked this dude And I was taking out my trash listened to it like I could listen to this all day Junk fucking bullshit out of here. You fucking lose. It was the funniest shit in the world Yeah, because I think like we said a rap is like a young man's game kind of situation

So I think what happens when motherfuckers get older They start trying to rap like the kids. That's that's the thing and they and it's cringy It'd be like, why are you got why are you using autotune? And you know, you're gonna use like a new style of beats and stuff. It's embarrassing It's embarrassing man, because you know, you they try and hard now like why are you trying to hurt? Yeah, be you man. You don't have to do that, man. Yeah, thank god. I've always made weird rap music And you get what I'm saying about shit was never trendy. So I'm good. Okay. So you got a line Let's read my head every day

It's a flow so pneumonia you bitch want my boner Stank pussy smell like cool ranch Doritos In my head every day, you see that's what I'm talking about. Those are like really like lines like I'm not writing that Just sitting down right yeah, like I'm always constantly writing a rap Then I sit down right how it is would stand up too. Yeah These little bits and pieces Yeah, especially like all we hang out with is comedians. Yeah, so then everyone's just constantly a comedian brain where you're like, is that a bit? Are you using that?

It's yeah, it's all right because it takes a toll. It does get consuming Yeah, I remember the point where like my mind was non-stop thinking of jokes. So this is so uncomfortable And like I don't think it ever stops. It's just yeah, it's kind of weird But I really do have a lot of respect for comedians in general domain because I think it's it's to It's one of the most pure as art forms to me, man. I just to be on stage with a mic I just look at that like man just standing on stage with a mic and be like what you got nigga Yeah You can play music and like dance around

Why you play music and nobody knows it was and you can be like You can beat the case with music man. You can beat the case with comedy. You suck. You suck. You don't get the feedback You're talking about like green room hangs. Yeah. Yeah, but like when it comes to the actual show it is it is like All right go. You're up. Yeah, and like all the green room all the fucking Networking and shit. They can't help you now. Yeah, it's you're on the stage. Yeah Like yeah, because every every time you're in a green room, whoever you with it's like, yeah, normally I'm headlining but They got me hosting now and it's like, all right. Well, we're gonna find out in 10 minutes Whether or not you're good. That is a cool thing to fly and you're like you have no gear or anything

You're just like, yeah, I was gonna roll up. Yeah, that is nice. I'm telling you it was dope man Yeah, it's dope like I'm having a great time doing the podcast like hanging out with comedians and shit all the time Just seeing what they go through and sit like man It's just a whole another world compared to rap music man. Nothing's like this man. I swear your podcast is funny I like they just like give you a topic and just let you go. Yeah. Yeah, you're good. Yeah That's really I'm just really roughing on shit and just having fun, man But yeah time time always you keep geeking me up like that's what comedy is You just got to figure out how to formulate the shit and take it to the stage man

Like they all geeking me up to get on stage. You could One day one day one day, especially in Austin, especially in the Balkans I know I know I just I'm gonna have to bomb for two years straight. I went oh You wouldn't bomb if you did a quick set. Mm-hmm. I take Hannibal took me out. I did five minutes with him How was it? I mean, I had a good time. It was fun. I didn't I wouldn't say I bombed but I didn't know Like comedy for some reason. Um, those minutes are a lot longer That's a noble path. It's a year of like kind of bombing and just like losing your mind You bought them out on the ego. You're like, all right. I'm nothing and then you you know

You have to sacrifice all your dick You have to sacrifice all you sit around going i'm the best I don't suck That's how you end up If anyone new comes to the scene doing good, dude, if anyone new comes to the scene doing good poison everyone That guy actually is an asshole He was actually kind of creepy towards women

Yeah, so if someone's good, you're just like fuck you have to be an ally soon as soon as someone else is good You got to be like actually I think he's rude to women Yeah, it's it's an absolute den of thieves. It's there's like I would say 50% of people are severely disturbed like when you're Yeah, when you're at the open mic level, there are people who are genuinely fucked up. Yeah, it's crazy I feel like anybody that's like really funny and shit is coming from a place of trauma or some shit Or like, you know, I don't think I don't I don't think too many comedians are, you know, you know Well, I think rappers are like that too to be honest

I think it takes a you got to kind of be a psycho to want to even be a rapper. I mean, I was just cool What i'm talking about before Before the internet put it like that just trying to go out there going to open mics and like yeah We had to be in cds and passing making demos and There's a heavy on the man component too to like especially like mainstream commercial rap where it's like I'm the fucking best on every level and it's like dude. That's I always get terrified thinking of having to hold that up I always get terrified when that's a comedians thing. Yeah. Yeah, that's always like dude. What are you doing? Yeah, my whole thing with it now is just it's being consumed too fast

And nothing really sticks around as long like I remember growing up as a kid We didn't we didn't really know you had to go get a source magazine once a month To know everything that was going on in hip hop now you can you can take three years making an album I'll fucking listen to it for two weeks And it didn't used to be like that, you know, but it's so many artists. There's so much music coming at you so fast Yeah, that's same same with comedy. You can't listen to everything. Do you think that's what's happening with comedy now? Yeah, there used to be fucking five comics in the world I actually think it's dope that, you know, people putting sets up on youtube like doing specials on youtube and shit like that

That's the coolest shit. I think right now. Yeah, that's nice That's good. Um Yeah, baby near rolls. You want to roll into the page? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How are we on time? 50 god damn. How about that? Oh, shit. We do have that. We'll do we'll do matter. I'll do you guys have been carrying the I'll do them this week. Oh, go get coffee. I'll fucking All right, sick. Protect your vp. Yeah, maddie. I get more coffee I'm jacked up right now. Okay. You're welcome to stay. We're gonna do another hour. All right. So we'll go to the patreon Probably talk about the crusades really