Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 419 - Simposium (feat. WARMODE)

Episode Date: November 24, 2022

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Let's start and let's start right now instead of me. Clearly being racist now and go. Sorry about that. Whoa, baby, here we are. The energy is fucking crazy. It is through the roof. What a fucking place that you have to keep your shoes on in this place. It's so gross.

Yeah, there's a lot of blunts and stuff around. It seems like a place for dudes who like don't understand themselves at all, just coming as hard as they can. Being like, I don't know why I'm cheating on my girlfriend right now. Well, I can't stop anything. Yes, I guess so. Just moans echoing others. There's no soundproofing in here.

Totally empty building. Yeah, this is this is a terrifying place. I thought I've read in a cool Airbnb. I've read at the stairs. Like you can see that it looks cool. Pictures look so cool. It looks cool right here. Pictures look so cool.

There's a pool table and fucking a cool leather leatherish couch. Yeah, this Amazon gets me with these things. I've thought about it multiple times and it's like seven hundred bucks. How the fuck is seven hundred bucks? And it charges my phone and it has LED lights in it. Like, oh, it's staging furniture. You might be a high beast. I'm not a high beast at all.

You might be a high beast. That's a high beast trap. I mean, you saw our studio do that's fucking all I got to say. True. That's avant garde. That's next level. What I'm saying is you have a high beat shadow. You're getting you see the seven hundred dollar couch with LEDs and the chargers and you're looking at it.

Well, I just look at like price point. That doesn't make sense. That should be like a four thousand dollar couch frivolous with the money. Huh? You want me to come on here to do this? It's gonna be a nasty. Welcome to the fucking podcast. Billy McCusker.

And Billy. Billy. What's going on? Blensy, what is Blensy? Yeah, we're going to be ready. We're talking about political correspondence. What do you what even is that? Blensy, they like a yes.

It's good to. So what happened? They dropped Yeezy, but then they put out a fashion line of like, I don't even know, they're just kids like in bondage. Well, I'm not with that at all. Like little kids holding teddy bears that were in bondage and then not in bondage. You know what I mean?

I know what you mean. Yeah, they're as what is it? Weird, weird freak shit. Not my bag. BDSM teddy bears. I just don't like the same thing with cuties like that pass. Like you were you were just talking about making a sketch. You got to call someone.

I got an idea for a sketch called multiple fucking people. Yeah, this went through multiple people. And then someone's like, yes, we'll spend money. But I do think liberal edge lords kind of like fuck around with pedophilia. There was a liberal edge. Dirty lefties. If you're dirty, dirty, dirty. Well, anyway, more input, like in the in the Blensy, it wasn't just that.

It wasn't just kids, communards and Jacobins. Hey. They. They literally had there was like a little a little girl in like serious woman in an office thing, I think. Or no, standing on the bed. You do. Is that the one where the paper works there?

Is that the office one? I didn't look at all these all night. Can we pause when you say a decade of the Rosa? Can I say a decade of the Rosa in a room by myself? But one of the pieces of paper on the desk is a court transcript of a child porn hearing. What is going on? There's a huge job.

Do or pre probably are in look, man. Trusted position. I'm all patriots are in trust and position. I mean, do I'm all peace when I hear about this shit? It makes me want to smash someone. I'm being honest. Oh, yeah. I'm all peace when I hear about you. Bill said in canto is messed up.

What? I also get on YouTube. Bill said in canto is not good, dude. You got to get my to stop watching what happened. All that Pixar shit is fucked up. If you start going on. I'm like YouTube and shit and looking at that stuff. The autoplay for the kids feature is just like

it's nonstop videos of like pregnant frozen. What's a girl from frozen Elsa Elsa Elsa and then Spider-Man. It's like one real popular thing. They talk about the YouTube. This is old. She's on Spider-Man having sexual intercourse. They're doing like she's pregnant. And then the Spider-Man is a doctor coming in with an injection.

And it's like supposed to go like too much food. But like it's clearly like a pregnant person and they're giving injections. And it's like that's not in the movie. I don't know. But it can't just cancel it. It's Disney cancel it. Pedophiles, all of them. All of these are making this stuff that he said in canto sauce.

Look at the watching canto watch a symbolism, dude. Watch Moana. There's tons of fucking swirls. That's the point of Pixar movies is that adults like them. And the reason adults like them is because they make the kids in them hot as shit. Right. And like the invincible. The kids are my mom's from.

Isn't that the thing that everyone says? Well, Moana is about a strong, which I'm going to call it a boiler. I'm into a strong boiler run family. Yeah, but you you don't have to put all the swirls. Like there's like FBI. Moana does have the swirl. Moana has a swirl. Yeah, but Moana is about.

Yeah, that's the Tongans or Samoans Samoans Moans Hawaii. And they use swirls. They love swirls. They have that water symbol. It's like two waves. It's not. Well, actually, there's one symbol to navigate the seas. And it's not a swirl, dude. True. All right.

What else is going on, guys? But some of you guys still hot on the trail. I don't want trail. But affiliates. I mean, it's a never ending. You need to get the pedophiles. The boys. Yeah, you guys are following the HBO show, the Val, the Val, Keith Ranieri.

He was in a head next to him. He was branding chicks. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So they have a show on HBO and they go through his text threads. He started grooming a girl at 13 years old. He's got his text thread. He's 45. Yeah. He's got a text thread with a 15 year old where he's talking about how obviously his dicks bigger than her boyfriend's dick.

Swag. You got to check that shit out. I mean, factually, it's probably right. It's all connected to the Bronfman's, which is connected to the JFK assassination, which is the anniversary today. Yeah, true. Oh, wow. I didn't even think about that, dude. True. Wow. Damn, I didn't know he was getting on. I know he had that weird setup where he made everyone in his organization

kiss each other on the lips so like no one could tell who was fucking who. Or really that he was like fucking everyone's wives and girlfriends. He was fucking people's daughters and stuff. Oh, he took it. Yeah, not the wives. He crossed the line. He was fucking the little girls. He crossed the line.

Oh, we started fucking little girls. You started fucking girls that were working for him's daughter. So why was that documentary about a bunch of 35 year old dumb asses? This is season two. Because at first, you drink the roast. He fired up. Yeah, season two is like when they started doing that stuff. That's what the bleep.

That what the bleep guy was like, what the bleep is going on? Oh, yeah. What the bleep do we know? I thought he fucked my wife. It turns out he was like, I'm seven and a half fully hard. You know, your boyfriend's only six point seven. Damn, I didn't see the show. I'm sorry, dude.

I'm just like, he said your boyfriend's only six points. How did he know the boyfriends dick? Probably measured him, bro. True. Next to him and not getting a hard measurement. I mean, dude, I obviously. Where'd you measure from? The I push down and get the root, bro.

I dig up a little bit of soil from the sack. Yeah, I think I lay down, get hard, measure from sack. I got them. I got the mulching mound. I fucking dig that up a little bit, get down to the roots. The 15 year old girl slammed him because he was like, when I'm seven and a half when I'm fully hard. And she's like, you haven't been fully hard in a long time.

Oh, how old is she? 15. God damn, they're powerful. Yeah, yeah. Yikes. I just, I mean, at 15, it's had to do with a line like that. I mean.

Age is number for belt, dude. That's what you're doing. What the heck are you so defensive about? I'm not defensive. I'm fucking pissed. Why? I got, I just got like fucking bitched by this chicken. Wow.

For what? I was just waiting to fuel up and the chick pulled right next to me while I'm waiting. And I'm like, obviously trying to get in and like just didn't look at me the whole time. And she has the fucking Botox lips. And ladies, let me tell you right now, it looks fucking ugly as shit when you do that.

But she's sitting there. They're all glossed up and like I'm just fucking honking and like not like a dickhead. It's like kind of trying to get her attention. And the dude tries to back out and that what's wrong? No, I'm going to cut that heat off. I mean, you're not picking that up. There's a thing right by the door.

Got that. Hey, we'll keep going. We'll persevere. So you had some Botox bitch cut you off. It was dude, like I thought it was going by me. I just had my turn signal on to go in. And they don't care about their signals. What's that?

They don't care about their signals. Yeah. Girls. Yeah, like that's what I was fucking chilling. They actually care about turn signals. They fucking don't. And they do actually this dude backed up. She started pulling up, fucked the whole thing up,

backed up again. The dude pulled out and then I was going to go and she just went right in there. And then like she got out of the car. I was like, yo, chick, like I was just waiting. She's like, we're all waiting. It's like, I know I was just waiting. You just went around me.

She's like, I don't know what to tell you. We all have to wait for gas. I was like, OK. They're psychotic. Yeah. And you took it. Huh? You took it.

I pulled up right next to it and I said some unsavory things to the fellas next to me. Oh, were they with her? What'd you say? They were with him with one of my theories. If they all didn't have pussies, they'd be dead by now. We would have killed them. What are you talking about?

Imagine if they did that again, we're all waiting. I would have thrashed them. Yeah. What did the jury of fellas say? They were dying, laughing. The one guy tried to give me a spouse that, dude, don't worry about it. I'll pull right next to the most important girl in the world.

I'll pull right next to her. You're just torturing her. I fucking hate shit like that. And they think they can do nothing wrong. Yeah. I hear you, bro. You have to just go, you can't fight them. Yeah, you can't fight them.

Short circuit. We're all reaching out to you. Nothing. Wrong. Breaking point, dude. We're collectively reaching out to break it, dude. You're about to break everything you say, dude. I did an unwarranted slam on a guy in Wawa today.

Some dude in front of me in Wawa was buying. I literally bought two bottles of water. He had no lie, like 14 soft pretzels and like a bunch of doughnuts, the one out here at the parents' house. Oh, fuck, never mind. He had like a bunch of soft pretzels, like a ridiculous amount, a bunch of doughnuts. And he like just like was acting all weird and squirrely.

And he had like this, not a purse, but it was like, you know the old CD-ROM cases? He carried one of those and kept his money and credit cards in it. Was he a pedophile? I don't know, dude, but he was getting real weird. I'm like, bro, I was like, hey, go ahead. And he like kept looking back at my stuff, being like, damn, this guy is the only two things.

Maybe I should let him go ahead. Well, he didn't do it. So I was like, whatever. And then he goes and checks out and the guy's like, what are you going to taste at Pennsylvania? And like, you know, cash register in the guy and he's like, no, these are buying gifts for people. And he was all fucking weird and cagey.

And I was like, dude, what is your last meal? The guy was like, she said, what are they shooting? He had sunup. What, are you going to kill yourself? Yeah, for some reason that while I was a lot of weird, like, passerbys every now and then. They always try to hit you with the, I ran out of gas, man. Can you help me out?

Really? All the time. Too close to Delaware. Yeah, true. People trying to get around. Yeah, it was a bit of a suburban vortex. A lot of listless blank expressions, dude. It's really fucked up.

It's grabbing some iced tea like, oh, where the hell have I been here for? Is that what you're doing, Wawa? I was scoping people out. A lot of loss. I think that's how everybody is. A lot of lost soldiers. Everybody's lost, brother.

As you go over. Everybody goes to a gas station and is just like, what the fuck was I doing? That's what I was tapping into. What am I, you look at gummy bears for a second. What am I doing? Well, you're like checking all of your impulses. I was watching people just kind of walking around kind of

scope. They're sharking the candy aisle, just fucking suburban moms just walking by the bright crawlers just being like. Bright crawlers are so good, dude. Dude, it's. I like to walk down the candy aisle, and also it's a bit of walk down memory lane. You see a nice candy bar that you haven't seen in a while.

You go, ooh. I'm trying to keep my teeth out of my car. I don't like this conversation. It's like fucking, I fight ice cream. I fight candy. Oh, yeah, you used to scarp ice cream. I scarp ice cream. I scarp milk.

What was your darkest ice cream hours? My darkest time of all time. I was just telling, I was just telling your dad. I was like, your dad's on the phone. He could be your spot. Well, no, he's actually. I got a handbag. He's using.

My dad's on K&A with ice cream. He's playing exactly like he's not using. Phil uses ice cream. Phil's a user. I'll catch him. I'll be down watching TV. You know me. I'm a night owl.

So I'm down there. And I'll see Phil come down at around 1 AM shirtless. Big ass gut in the kitchen. Bit of a fruit bat, dude. He's a complete fruit bat. He's an Australian fruit bat. Turn around and say, Phil, what the hell are you doing out there? He's like, oh, what?

My dad's a prime time user, dude. Every after like a Sunday dinner, it's the gallons come out of the fridge. His eyes lit up when I told him I had a problem. He said, you got a problem with ice cream? I was like, dude, I got a handbag plait. And I got a milkshake to go for the road. I don't have any problem.

Just to get home. Now we're doing. They got a place that's doing buy one, get one freeze right now. Oh, what? Milks. That was your father with milkshakes? It's a 24-ounce milkshake. It's all I do.

Where? This ice cream place that I've been up near my house. Good. Oh, man. You're going to. They deliver. Buy one, get one freeze. They get a delivered milkshake.

It sucks, dude. It's warm. You just chug it down. You're like, why am I doing this? I use twice. I'm done. That'd be so good. You use twice.

That's it. I use twice. And I'm done. You taste it. I'm done. You OD'd? I don't want to think about it. I just want to drink beers.

What'd you have? What'd you OD on? Two vanilla milkshakes with whipped cream. You got two at once? I got 48 ounces of milkshake. What the fuck? You doubled up. You got two at once.

Yeah, I doubled up, yeah. You got 48 ounces of milkshake. Take your white wig off. You shot. What the fuck? Is that your chaos? Yeah, dude. I mean, this at least gives me results, dude.

It's dark, bro. So is that happiness? Yeah, it's true. No, it doesn't. It soothes you. Done with that. That's hard. The whole time is nirvana.

People do heroin. They feel horrible afterwards. I think you shot. That's shooting two bags. You shot two bags. Oh, yeah. You tried to hot shot himself. You hit the whipped cream.

You hit the whipped cream? That's the fentanyl, dude. It's 50 cents. Oh, fuck, dude. Was this fucking a lot of money on cans of whipped cream? Oh, yeah. With these 50 cents per five. Were these pizza place milkshakes?

Pretty much. It's like an ice cream place. It just opened up. Pound Village. Paul, it's like an ice cream place around like an Egyptian, dude. All right, I don't know. It's Uber Eats.

It's Uber Eats. I want to get one free. I hit a button. Well, my sister was recovering from her addiction to heroin. She just, they love sugar. Yeah, they love sweets, dude. She would be like, I mean, like, and I was at home. It was during COVID.

I was at home a lot. And I was like, yo, chill on the fucking sugar. Like you got, and she's like, what? I don't even have any sugar. I'm like, all right, I mean, I'm not giving anybody shit. But you have way too much sugar. That's what's fucking up a little bit. And she was like, no, I'm getting coffee.

She'd go to Sheets and get just a giant milkshake. She'd call it coffee. It was like their iced coffee. Yeah, a lot of types of coffee. It had fucking whipped cream and Reese's on top of it. I was like, dude, this is like, what? I'm having a morning coffee. Dude, I got it, dude.

That's every morning at that Aramego Avenue, Wawa. It's the most milkshakes, all that shit. And they're all like, why are you mocking? Bill's a cappuccino guy. He told me you were a cappuccino guy. He likes cappuccinos. You're a cappuccino. Dude, I was just telling him about paparazzi.

He never knew about paparazzi. Sweet cappuccino. Chew! You like the cappuccinos? Yeah, dude. Sweet baby Billy Lozik. A sweet cappuccino. Because you guys are going to capparone.

Chew! Are you stupid cappuccinos at Aramego, Wawa? What are you doing with the cappuccinos? Dude, I've just been hitting cappuccinos. I love them, dude. I do a mocha alert from Wawa. No, it's just the espresso. It's just the espresso.

Really? Little frothy milk. Little Vespa, Billy. What's wrong? Are they bad? I don't have a bad period. They're better than I am. I'll be honest.

It's for girls? I'll be honest. I'll be honest. I mean, my mom had. And they spear to solidarity. I've been fucking with almond milk lattes, dude. I'm on my basic bitch shit. I just do like cappuccinos.

That's crazy. I'm in milk. Actually, sorry. Coconut milk latte. Coconut milk latte. And a vape pen, dude. Get me on my basic bitch shit, dude. It's over.

Where are the others? Yo, dude, I'm acting in solidarity with you. You stabbed me in the back. No, that's gay. Fucking cappuccinos are alpha is fun. Cappuccinos are alpha. I go into fucking Starbucks in the morning. That's what the watch is, dude.

I go into Starbucks in the morning right now because my Armigo Avenue, Wawa's fucked up right now. And I'm getting fucking pissed at them. Sure, Starbucks? I go to four bucks when I fucking go on Armigo Avenue in York. I roll in there. Hard as fuck, dude. I just go, yo, I'm not going to say grande.

Give me a large one. I'll say in the gay shit, dude. That's standard, bro. And then I get it, and I leave, and I'm happy. What about cappuccinos better than a coffee? I don't know. It's just fucking getting cold out. Cappuccinos are very good.

It's getting cold out? I don't know if that. They might be bad for you. Like, I don't know. They're good. No, they're fine. They're fine. Yeah, they're healthy.

It's just milk. It's not even half of it. It's a Mediterranean diet, dude. It's just a little bit more milk with espresso. Yeah, I'm again, half and half of my coffee. That's when I started when I was a young man. French vanilla cappuccinos. Those are bad for you.

One little shot of espresso. That when you were in Spain? No. Spain had good coffee. Just those little tiny cups. Spain billus. Spain. Oh, yeah.

Spain billus. Yeah. That's a funny joke. Did you come up with it? Did you put your name in mine? I mean, it's like, we combined. No, because you love me, dude, because you're obsessed. We combined it.

We combined it. Yeah, I'm obsessed with you. OK. Anyway, how's your sketches going? Dude, I can't believe you threw me onto the bus. You were drowning. I was like, I'm out of my life right now. Any life raft, you just grabbed it,

dunked his head under water and did it. Hot potato, hot potato. I'm not holding it, bro. You got to spike the mic. You're going to hit sweet. Be fucking normal. Dude, the fucking, the shit they're doing in guitar is fucking me up.

What are they doing? We need a Bud Light Run out of you. Sean. Sean, do what we say. A fucking Twitter with 1,900 followers just named us top five political podcast. More motors? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, there were Tim Dillon, Drinker Bros, and some other people. You guys are top five political. Do you feel comfortable talking about your current professional situation? My what? Your current professional situation.

Yeah, I'm fucking hitting the high road. I'm so proud of you. I'm so pumped, bro. Billy's getting his Lutus, dude. He's getting his warden sword. I have to go on my hero's journey. It's time. We're spade.

You must. You guys are not a full hero's journey. God spade with me. No, it's like Shrek and Donkey, dude. You guys got a little thing done. It's more like Hodor and Bran. Same. Spade sees the future.

I just fucking keep on trucking. True, Spade does see the future. Spade, do you see the future? I wish. I used to be able to see the future not so much anymore. Spade said he has a fucking wild ass vision when he was young. The whole room went black and everything was. Everything did go black when I was like 12.

For what? I was studying for the PSATs. I was sitting at a desk. Everything went black. And when I say I went into nothing, I went into nothing. You entered the void. And then I came back. I woke up and I went downstairs and I was never the same again.

I was like, oh, I'm a grown up now. It was fucking bizarre. Before that, I was like a little kid. I was a unit. Me and Bill were talking about it today, like fucking. Dude, when you're little, I was cracking up on, what was that, 12 days of Christmas? Yeah, yeah.

There's some shit in 12 days of Christmas that we used to sing at Old St. Thomas. And I think it's laying eggs. And like Fart says laying eggs was like fucking funny. Like, I'd love to go back to that innocence, dude. You know what I mean? You went into the abyss. Like, I hit third grade.

I started saying, fuck, fourth grade. I fucking took a note. Like, it was like, we were writing a goodbye note to our teacher. I was like, you're a bitch. She took grade? Yeah, she totally read my handwriting. She goes, Andrew, hallway. Now I immediately started crying.

Everybody's calling me a bitch. Fuck the backfire. I've never cried in grade school. Thank God. My God, I had my like miraculous metal. And I think we're playing the research yard and Pat, my cousin kind of ripped it and broke. And I had to like, I stifled it, but I was very close to crying.

Really? I did eyes in the sun. I was like, fucking sweating. I was like, yeah, I cried. Yeah, no shit. That was. Oh, what the fuck? What'd you cry about?

What the fuck? I'm going to be mean about. What you mean? Yeah, no shit. I'm just saying what you see, like you see, like you were, you had a fucking mighty spaz in you. Long fuse. I think long.

You want to talk? No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm just saying long fuse. But when it happens, the top. No, I mean, last week when he's bad, you scare people. You fucking freak. You're a freak, dude. Pretty mean things. What I spazz on.

I never spazz. You never know. I don't think I've ever. I don't know when like a hard spaz almost never. He's going to long fuse. As you pop. It's coming then. It still hasn't come.

Oh, it's going to be on your little. I mean, maybe when I was little, yeah, the closest thing I can think of is spazzing is like spazzing your sisters, getting sent up to my room and being like, I'm like, like. Yeah, that's a very young man. That's I know. Post come. I don't think we're talking back.

We're talking about crying at grade score. Not talking about right now. I don't know. I'm collected. That started a pretty good idea. Like post coming. Post come. I don't spaz.

Yeah. I got to tell you until you come once you can crumb. Spazz. You're your first crumb. You don't spend some post calm spaz is in my life. Yeah, you are spaz. I'm a big time spaz. Spaz out.

I think my blood pressure is going to go down. Really? I'm going to drive all day long and Philly. It makes you all right, dude. That was a big world, bro. When I was driving down here, I had a moment where I was. I rarely have them. Yeah, I got three words.

I got three bad words. You know how I would say. I was just I was driving and I was like, shit's good, dude. Shit's really fucking good. I was very happy. Sorry, it's so funny where you went with that. You're like, you start talking about traffic. I mean, and then I got cut off.

I went from like literally like almost crying happy. Yeah, like I was like, Dan, I'm going home for Thanksgiving. Everything's good. I love everybody. This is sick. What's better than this, dude? I get to come to Philly and Josh around with my pals. What the fuck?

What am I complaining about all the time? This is as good as a guess. True. And then Hypebeast cut me off. Easy season four. And then I got furious. And the bubbles were fucking you hit your magma core. It got me fucking volcanic core.

But yeah, I don't I'm trying to think of spas. You didn't drive like I don't think I fully spat. Last time I spas was when the city came after me. Remember that? Oh, I was driving. I was driving around, not crying, but like yeah. Crying hot face, not crying, but like fucking shaky voice. Yeah, vertigo. Anyone calling me.

I'm screaming at it. Well, they're taking a whole set move with Denzel Washington, where he goes in the place with a bombshot. Those chest. They're on fire. So yeah, John Q. John Q. Yeah, you had a good two years where you were convinced, you know, you had definitely you had a reason to be convinced

that the city was going to take your house. Oh, yeah, I was spas. Yeah. But I was thinking I was listening to some Malcolm X clips. Denzel sounds exactly like Malcolm X. You know, he played Malcolm X. I know, but it's insane how like they sound exactly the same. It's wild. Yeah, I could actually I could see that. I never saw a side track.

I could see them sounding pretty similar. Why? Similar cadence, flow. Have you heard a lot of Malcolm X? Yeah, I was playing. I thought you were just spitballing. No, no, no. I was listening to some Malcolm X.

Malcolm X does rule. Yeah. What a turnaround he's had in our culture. Dude, everybody's kind of being like, all right, Malcolm X wasn't that bad. Yeah, it was all it was all MLK was the man. Malcolm was kind of in the middle. My K is still a man.

Malcolm was in the middle of it. What the fuck, dude? That's why he gets paid the big bucks. And we're letting things bring us down. But then, yeah, every now MLK, everyone's like, fuck MLK. Now like Malcolm's where we got to be. A lot of people, I'm telling you, call him a misogynist. Oh, yeah.

The Libs hated on MLK. He's called a blind racism. I mean, they killed him. The Democrats killed him. They just followed the media. They called it Democrats. Democrats, Democrats, Democrats, Democrats, demon rats, demon rats.

Yeah, I hate that. Fuck it, Democrats, sheeple, follow the red media. You know, House made a big comeback. We've talked about it before, but the Arabs. Yeah, I was watching the Arabs, Saudi Arabia, beat Argentina in the World Cup. Really? And everyone's just watching the bros celebrate,

watching the Saudis celebrate. Maybe Argentina. Wow, it's about their time. If you rewind the tape, I may have said it on here. What? Saudi Arabia has been what somebody, somebody who knew soccer was like, they're the only national team

that's had their national team together for the last like five months doing, working together. Everybody else is professional. They just have their own guys that are working. Yeah, they're going to be dangerous in the tournament. And that's what I might have said on the podcast, but I'm not quite certain. I believe you're doing this on the outside.

I mean, I believe it. Are they still like, well, like what's good with all those people like England and stuff, like doing all the gay shit, like wearing this stuff and doing the one love thing? What do you mean? Like they're trying to like fire up everyone in guitar and being like, they're putting like the one love

on bands and stuff, the gay stuff. And like all these people from England are out there like, oh, one love stuff. Is that for all the dudes that like fell and died when they built the guitar? No, they're just saying like a black stripe on their jerseys. No, it's for guys who fuck each other.

Oh, nice. Not for the slaves who died building the stadium. There's a Rinaldo. It's for guys who suck each other. They got a meme with Rinaldo grabbing a dude's ass. Like no guitar says no homosexuality. Rinaldo is just grabbing it. That's funny.

Why would you do that? What? Like the boys are liable to pop off and you're going to sit there like in their face, hitting with the gay shit. Yeah. They'll explode. It's a tactic.

They'll blow it like you literally blow you up. They prove they'll blow you up and you keep doing them gay shit. They'll get cashoed. They'll get what? Cashoed. What's that? He was a journalist. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that.

That was the Saudis. This is Qatar. Oh, whatever. That's the same thing. They border each other. Qatar. You think you'd ever go to Saudi Arabia or Qatar? No chance.

I love that. Go to Maca will be sick. You look powerful as fuck. If I got white robes. If you wore the white robe and you look wild. Go Kingdom of Heaven. Perhaps. Maybe I should go down.

Not Jerusalem. Yeah, I'd fetch a pretty penny for a beheading. They'd be very excited. They'd say, look at this. Yeah, they saw the size of it. They might just say, look at this, a man. River King was just there. River King was wearing Jerusalem.

No, Qatar. I thought it was a bunch of dudes in Qatar. Yeah, yeah, for the UFC fight. That I was, dude, same exact time. Yeah, you should start in Dubai. That'd be tight. Go to Dubai and rent like a 360 camera thing and it's fucking in like a chic south.

You can watch me get hungover in a hotel room for five days. You can watch me lay down. Can't really fuck around there, though. Dubai? No, can't drink, can't like. Have I got the little boys? They probably got the little boys on tap, though. Yeah, bro.

Little bocci bozzy, little bocci bozzy. If you can't drink, there's got to be something to do. Yeah, you got to blow the steam off somehow. If I wasn't drinking these Bud lights, I'd be balls deep in a kid. Was that a big thing over there, the bocci bozzy? What? Like in the Middle East?

The bocci bozzy, you seem to know all about it. What? Yeah, dude, I've read about it. I read it, it was when they were doing the Iraq war, I think one of our, it was like our allies. We had to protect these. This sounds like a trussie propaganda. We had to protect these.

No, they're saying like they're on our side and we had to protect these like chiefed in and war. Yeah, they always, yeah, they all did that. And they had a thing where the village. I can't understand, they all have boys. Yeah, the prettiest, they would take like the prettiest boy quote unquote, not my quote. The prettiest boy, and they'd make them,

they'd be like a dancing slave for them. And they'd all, they'd take a status of symbol to have like a hot ass young boy dance. This is fucked up. We got to get those boys the hub. No, we got to get them the hub. They do need the hub. They need the hub.

The hub's going to slow things down over there a little bit. Maybe we need to get off the hub and start bending. Whoa. Every day. Been hitting the knees twice a day. I saw a dude in a home depot hitting it in the parking lot. He was an Uber driver. He just put a rug on the fucking parking lot

and started bowing down to the dude. That's mega. Yeah. Imagine being that far into something. That does rule. That's pretty neat. That would take your mind off fucking everything. If you're like, you're not worried about it.

Like, oh fuck, it's 12 o'clock. Damn. Saw a cab, I was, I was in New York and saw a cab driver hit it. Hit it? Hit it? Midday, I was going to launch and he was on the street, pulled his car over, hit it.

That's sick. I work with an African dude who used to lay pizza boxes on the ground and fucking hit it in the knees. Me too. That is cool. It fucking rules. I'm off. I've been off the hub still.

Haven't fucking glanced. Still haven't glanced. Have not glanced. ECW not. I gazed upon it. Instagram. Holy shit. Holy shit.

What's Instagram looking like? Check my, I don't, I have a virginal. I'm not looking at the Algor. I'm just asking. I believe you. Check the Algor. It's like opening up fresh YouTube. It's just like 24 million Fortnite, blah, blah.

It's just, I don't fuck with it at all. Cringe. Dude, I'm doing it. Yeah. I gazed upon the hub last night. It was a nice treat for me. Was it nice? Yes.

I get called, when everyone's asleep at night, I start going like, I'll start salivating. You know, so much good stuff on there. Fuck, dude. It had been two days since I whacked off and I was, got done playing mountain blade banner lord too. That got my tea up. It got my tea going.

And then I was like, damn, it's 2 a.m. Fuck, I gotta go to bed. So I start going to bed and then I was, while I was brushing my teeth, I was like. Hitting the hazy jerks. I'm gonna whacked off in a while. This will be great. Yeah.

I get to go whack off before bedtime. Hazy jerks are fucking weird. What? While you're half asleep. Yeah, you're just like, oh man, it's pretty, like you get home late, maybe. Like a forced fap. No, it's nice.

It's nice. Obviously. Get a fap right before you sleep. Yeah, but a forced fap, I'd fap when I'm like, I'm too tired to fap and it's almost like, I'm forcing myself to fap. That's when I'm kind of like, I don't feel so good.

I literally wasn't brushing my teeth. I was like, oh yeah. Fap time. I haven't whacked off in a couple of days. This will be a nice thing. Sounds nice. And then I got to go right to sleep. I hit one big Billy, baby Billy.

Little baby Billy, little baby Billy. I didn't even clean up. I went to sleep with him. Can I tell you something though? That's, you think, you think you need to fap to sleep? Of course I can. I'm telling you, you don't. You hit the sheets, you'll pass right out.

I thought, I thought I needed to fap to sleep too. It's still fun. If I close my eyes, I'll fall asleep. Whacking off is still fun. Shayna has a real good attitude with doing anything, like drugs, sex, all of it. You're just like, it's good. It works.

Well, I mean, eventually it's gonna take my life. Yeah, but I'm just saying, it's good. You guys have a real, like a pilgrim. That's not true. I do feel bad about drinking. Okay. In the morning. Drinking.

Yeah, well, that's physical. Physically, yeah, it hurts. But no, sitting down with the fellas, having a couple of bruises, whacking off. I have no, hooking up with women I feel bad about. So do I. When I'm single and I'm. Being a womanizer, I feel very bad

about hooking up with women. What do you do? What? When I lay with women? What you do in that situation? No, I'm just saying, I hear you on that. What you do. It's crying.

You just have to get into a relationship. Yeah. We're not, I don't know about you guys, but I'm not one for fucking around. It makes me feel bad as a person. Yeah. You're using their bodies and their hopes and dreams for your future.

You can actually get them pregnant as well. I'm not worried about that. I mean, I'd love to get a random check pregnant. What if you could put all of your photos in one frame? Ever thought about that? Well, with the powers of computers, you can with aura frames. Look at this thing.

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African dude's a- I worked with an African dude that claimed he never jerked off and he was picking up horrors up in Cobb's Creek. And he was like, yeah, you just pay him a little bit of money and they'll jerk you off. And I was like, why would you touch yourself? That's gay.

I was like- Dude, I think he's right, that's what I'm saying. I think it is. I think we're in a fallen state. I think we're in a fallen state. For sure. I think we're in a fallen state. I think we're in a fallen state.

Let me finish. What are you talking about? Chains are like this, hold on. Let me finish. We're in a fallen state. This is about 2004. We're doing a church in West Philly and it had not been used in a long time.

They wanted to reopen it for the Baptists. It used to be a Catholic church. There was a bunch of, there was families of raccoons in there. This African dude was catching the raccoons and making it his lunch and his dinner. No. What?

Yeah. What's that game you play? Fallen? Yeah. We're on an island. A fallout? Yeah, fallout. It's pure fallout.

That's fallout. He's catching raccoons and a broken down church. This dude came to Africa. He bought a used white Escalade and he came to paint with us and he was eating the raccoons as lunch with like some weird yellow rice. That's like a guy who doesn't know

how to play the video games. He just eats these things. Yeah, it's fallout. It's like I just bought that car. I don't know what that's car does. I don't know how to do this. What do you do? Go up to the steeple and catch lunch.

Pull it up in a used Escalade, a bunch of raccoon you caught in a church. It's a fucking funny issue. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Coons? What year? Mama just bushes them off with the boom.

He thought we were all sus for jerking it though. He was like, we told him at lunch one day. That's crazy. We told him at lunch one day. It's gay that you're jerking your penis off. Yeah, it's a wine, dude. It's a penis. You haven't had any wine, you motherfucker.

Well, the ancient Greeks always watered the wine down, dude. Only a barbarian sips wine straight. Dude, you suck, dude. Wait, that's a little bit of wine yet? Yeah, dude. Oh, bro. Dude. One brother, one body.

It's what took down Alexander the Great. Alexander the Great. Alexander was doing some other stuff. Alexander the Great. Alexander the what? It didn't take him down, bro. We're talking about the boy. Alexander the Great.

I'm saying it was the end of him. He's drinking wine. The ancient Greeks, dude. Don't get me started on the fucking androgens. He's a kinglet. Two. And it's the ancient Great. How about that fucking, remember the movie?

They're just not. They just did it. Chill, hit piece, hit piece, dude. That's a hit piece, bro. All the stuff in the movie just hit the gay shit the whole time. Jared Leto satanic ass in it. It just hit costed. The whole film, the fucking dick, the whole movie.

What? Fuck that, dude. Just goes around being gay. He said, you don't know the true story. Check out Ashela, dude. You don't know the true story. He's a Macedonian king. He's a Macedonian king.

She is. Dude, honestly, God, though, I understand what you're saying about jerking off. It obviously feels good. But if you think about it and you are the watcher of Shane Gillis in the bedroom, hunched over. How much for that? How much for that?

To be the watcher. I know a lady that'll trade places with you for free. She wants out. Dude, I'm at the point where I can just grip thigh. I'll grip thigh and just fab, which is less. I'm pulling myself on. I don't understand what the, I don't understand the hangout. There's no hangout.

I'm just saying, can you see a thought process where you would think it's gay? Because I would feel like if you were, like, so high on tape. No, this guy was from Liberia. Didn't know that Liberia is the worst place on. He was from Liberia. Liberia is the worst. His name was Francis.

He's from Liberia. Shout out to Francis. Shout out to General Butt naked. I can see where they're coming from. That's all I'm saying. Like, if you sit there by yourself and touch your own penis, when like, dude, they don't fuck with gay shit at all. If you're gay in there, they put you in tires and light them

the fuck on fire. Which I shouldn't do. Neckless thing. Yeah, they shouldn't do that. So obviously, like, I can see where they're coming from. Or it's like, yeah, kind of get a jerk yourself off and make you come watch. Yeah, but that's kind of like, you're just saying that.

You've seen dudes get burnt with tires. You're sitting there like, yeah, that is gay to do anything. I don't like anything. True. I mean, that guy's definitely whacking off. Dude, he's eating fucking raccoons in a church. That's IT, though. It's IT, man.

You tell me you're not going to whack off after that? Raccoons are dark meat. Crazy. Are they really? Yeah. Like, do you crush bottles of water? I don't know. Constantly.

All right. So he has to say, like, you could easily just fucking go get tap water, right? This dude is. No, tap water is bad. This dude game-sharked it and he's hitting the fucking hookers under the alts. The same as a bottle of water to him.

Why would he jerk off? Why would he go to the tap? He can get it from the hookers. You want to buy a bottle of water? He wants to get a hooker. Dude, Francis, one day at lunch, one day at lunch, he was like, wait, you all two. Terrible amount.

One day at work, he was like, you all jerk off. And we were like, yeah. And he's like, you were all gay. You were all children. He might have came here just to do that. He's like, only children do that. Have you ever looked into Liberia's Civil War? I have no idea.

It's that guy came. That guy, for real, came from hell. That fucking game we were just talking about. Oh, really? Yes. Liberia's Civil War had, like, cannibal, gangs of roving cannibals, general bud naked. There was they would have guys that were like warlords named

like General Mosquito and his rival would come up and be like general bug repellent. One guy's name was like General Osama bin Laden. I don't know if it was Liberia, but one of those places, something happened where like someone came through and was like, yo, you got to eat like people got talked into eating a bunch of people because they're like, you'll get cursed if you don't do it.

And like people came for it. Found out like there's a bunch of cannibalism and a bunch of people came for it. Like, yo, I'm lunched. Yeah. General bud naked did that. Really? He used to munch kids before battle.

And then one day he said he was holding this child. I think like a four year old. Really? And he was like, and I knew God was watching and he got in that baby and then he munched the baby. And then after he was like, that's enough. That was fucked up. I got to stop.

I got to turn this around. Still munched the one that he was like. That's Wendigo, dude. And then he became a Wendigo. Now he's a Christian. Now he's a pastor. Really? General bud naked, dude.

They didn't even arrest him. I don't think. Holy shit. Liberia is fucked up. Liberia is having a tough time. You know what the capital Liberia is? What? Monrovia.

You know why? Because of President Monroe. They gave it to him. The slaves went back to Liberia. Oh, yeah. They didn't even get out there. What? Age other?

Started slavery. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They were like, we learned how to do slavery. They just stopped. They came back with facts. It was like the most brutal pyramid scheme they ever had. They said, yo, dude, I got to put. Bill has a fun fact about slavery.

What? Fun facts. Yeah, maybe, yeah. I can save it for the Patreon. OK. Sick. All right, what is it? Nice CTA.

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Bye. Yeah, edit that part out. Let's get that cool hat. We're back. I got this cool hat. Yeah. It's the Philadelphia Eagles and America. Eight-one.

What? Oh, eight-one, dude, that's good. That was cool. Your birds are looking good. They're looking really good. My Sixers, I think, are looking decent, too. Sixers are having a tough time, but they're coming around.

They're coming around. They're gonna be all right. They're a young team. Yes. That was the first game I ever went to. That Eagles game? That was a very fun time. That brought me to a pre-season game.

I don't really count that one. Ah, that stinks. Counts? I mean, I was young as shit. So I was into it by me. That was the first ever full-blown Eagles game. When was this? Shane brought me to an Eagles game.

What was that? First Monday night? Monday night full-blown. Good luck ran out. I've taken you guys to three different sports. You and me went to the NBA game. Basketball was sick. That was my, I think that was my first NBA game.

So you fell asleep with each other? Yeah. I mean, I fell asleep with each other. There was a couple behind us. Oh, oh, oh. A couple behind us slept the entire game. What the fuck, dude? We didn't sleep next to each other.

Dude, my dad took me to a pre-season game. I was a kid. Took me up to the 700 level. I was 10. Scared the shit out of me. Yeah, cursing and throwing beer and like dudes were pissing. I asked him to take me home and he wouldn't take me home. I hit nitro circus.

What? Yeah. I went to nitro circus once. That had been awesome. It was fucking sick. How old were you? I was young. What's that?

Nitro circus, it was in the Tony Hawk documentary where they're all doing backflips. Oh, yeah. Who took you there? That was awesome. Aunt Trish on Little Danny. No, it was nitro circus. It's like, yeah.

But there's like dirt bikes, people on fucking skateboards, all sorts of shit. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Also Saul Gravedigger. I just saw Gravedigger this year. I saw Gravedigger this year. How sick is that? My brother's a big Gravedigger.

It was pretty cool. Really? Especially WWF live, sick as fuck. I saw NXT, which yeah, I saw WWF thing. It was fucking awesome. You ever been to a demolition derby? No. Those are fucking sick.

I went to one in Maryland when I was in like fourth grade and it was unbelievable. How nice was the spring car? By, it was awesome. The dirt track, that was fucking sick as hell. We tried it. We tried it. You tricked me into a fucking haunted house.

No, that wasn't fun. This is a haunted fucking house. This is. I was gonna sleep here tonight. I just think there's like something. This is haunted by like the son of like a pizza shop owner. Yeah. Like died from fentanyl.

This isn't good. Whatever is going on down here, it leaves me cold. Yeah. Say the least. This place was not built with love at all. Yeah, I think there's a lot of meaningless sex going on here. The debauchery. A lot of masturbation.

But maybe. A lot of masturbation. Back on track. You guys used to whack off a lot. I did. I did. Once a day. I never went crazy.

I said, well, I didn't go nuts. I was a couple. What was your record though? Record five times and blood started coming out of my dick. Oh my God. I was like fifth grade. That is bullshit. That's bullshit.

No, no, no, no. I was in like fifth grade, dude. I was probably next to him. I explained myself. Blood didn't come out of your dick. Blood was on your dick. You chased your dick. When I first started jerko, I would squeeze my fucking dick.

So by the fifth time, I had blood coming out of my dick. So I stopped. I figured out how to beat it. What do you mean? You just squeezed it into your dick? I wasn't blessed with the fucking hood. So I didn't. Before I got hip to the skip, I was just fucking pulling my putty,

dude. Wait, you were squeezing it? I was squeezing it too hard. Yeah. Dude, I just started seeing veins in my dick. I said, what the fuck? You had no finesse. I was like fifth grade.

Do you remember when you had clear pubes? Do you have clear pubes for like three years? Yeah, I remember them vividly. Like what? Pupes? I don't remember clear pubes. I was going to Florida. You get like when they first start coming out.

Do you remember when you first had pubes? I'm talking about blondies. I have blondies. We're not clear. We're like clear pubes. They're like whatever. I mean, I'm blind. Mine was like a lion's mane.

I was like a young Simba. Yeah. Mine was like a lion's mane. Mine like got blinded. I was like fifth or sixth grade. I was going down to the Florida Keys for a vacation. I would just look at my pews and I was taking a piss. Hell yeah.

And I would always remember my cousin. It was right about the time where he was like, dude, if your dick's big, you can piss without holding your dick. And I just started being able to. I was like, pfft, sweet. You guys can piss without holding your dick? Yeah. But does that mean it's bigger?

Does that mean it's just like straight tenus? That's what I wanted this forever. I thought that was tenus. Yeah. I mean, this is just what he said. Now, tenus, trust me, tenus, you got to aim it down to get into the bowl because otherwise it's going. I mean, fair.

But if it's too dangled, then that's also another problem. And you got to kind of like. Too dangled. Nobody's dangled. Nobody's come off. Some must be dangled. Your dick holds pointing straight at the ground. Everybody's.

No, no, no. Trans and the F2M's, they point down. They give themselves sauce. I heard you guys see the white lotus. No, have you watched season two at all? No, I saw the first. Did you see that guy's dick? Yes.

Holy shit, dude. Wait, that's the scan of Navy. That wasn't notable to you. I mean, it's notable. Yeah. How was your how was your dog compared to that guy's dog for real? I've come to the grips with the fact that, like, most dudes are jammed about the tennis.

Yeah. Yeah. And then I'll go to yoga and I got like little shorts on and stuff. Yeah. And when I was a kid, when I was younger, I was always jammed like, oh man, look how small my dick is. But there's dudes that dicks get very small. Oh, yeah.

And there's dudes that that guy's from Scanning Navy. His dick's down to here from behind. It was, it was nuts, dude. It might be a soft, soft nine. It was nuts, dude. He's, he's getting changed. Also, too, by the way, you can see his dick close to his knee. It's hanging down.

It's hanging down while he's putting shorts on. I was watching it with my fucking girlfriend. Dude, yo, I wonder if it's CGI. Dude, girl, that was how it, I wonder if it's CGI. She claimed she was like, it's fake. I was like, you don't fuck. How many dicks have you seen, lady? It might be fake.

And then I screamed at her. There were some big things on Netflix with that. It was fun. It was damage control. I really do enjoy fucking with her about stuff like that. That is very funny. Like, you loved that. What the fuck?

Ew. They hit that on shameless, too, when I was really young. I used to watch with my high school girlfriend. And out of nowhere, it was like, season 2 or 3, they just started putting this dude in, and he was always naked with a hug. I was like, what the fuck? This one had a, this dude, this dude's a hunk.

Well, he's, he's just getting a little bit. This dude's a hunk with a giant fucking hug. Yeah. But you know. Yeah, seriously. He's a gat. He humiliated me. He's making me look like a fucking dumb ass

when I'm watching TV. It's supposed to be something like HBO. Yeah, what the fuck? I watched something recently, and it was just like, something, we came across something ridiculous. I was like, god damn it, man. Yeah. Sucked.

I did read this thing recently where they debunked the porn dicks. What do you mean? So like, all the porn dicks are fake. Like, lack of steals, eight and a half. Really? Yeah. What?

How are they, what are they doing? Hey, man. It was just a study thing that I read. Somehow I ended up on this on the end. Camera angles are like, what are they doing? Searches. We got to get it. Do our searches.

You do get clickbait holes. Oh, yeah, big time. Spades always like, you'll never guess what this person looks like now. That's like 15 pictures. I'm always so embarrassed when I get hit by one. When I actually click it, then of course, the ads show up. I mean, just like, damn, I'm dumb as shit.

Yeah. Oh, I'm so dumb. Only 1% of people can see the true meaning of this picture. Oh, that'll get you. That'll get you. I know my brain. Yes, me. That'll get you.

I get hit on like, you'll never. I'm like, it'll become apparent to you, dude. Keep looking at it like, oh, fuck, shit, fuck. I get hit on like, Scar Joe. Scar Joe clickbait will get me. Scar Joe handsome. Time is beauty. You like Scar Joe?

I used to. I heard she's kind of a maniac. Really? Yeah. So how are you? Not that I like, I care at all. I'm worried about this. How do you suss out, dudes, micro birds, and yoga?

Not that I care. Like, I had that problem. Like, how are you seeing that? Yeah, you're looking, dude. Trigger, trigger. Not that I care. Not that I'm worried about this. No, when I was younger, I would lay on my back and yoga

and worry about my little tiny pyramids sticking out of my gym shorts. When I was younger, right? I don't want to hurt. I'm not trying to hurt anybody. When I was younger, I'd go to yoga. I'd be all jammed about my dick getting little, because my dick's getting little.

It's ready to fucking go and yoga. How'd we talk like that? It's little. That's what I'm saying. What? I'm getting struck. That's what I'm saying. I'm kidding, bro.

I'm kidding, man. Matches ahead of wheels. Oh, you were talking about a little bird like that, David. I'd be pumped. Dude, if I had that, if I had that, I'd be coming out of the shower. I'm swinging, dude. I'm showing my lady.

Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. It's fun. I just came to the realization of that. You look at that. Look at that fucking thing curled up in the air, dude. Coil is ready to strike.

So you were kind of like, damn, dude, I'm fucking embarrassing myself. Free. Free. And then what happened? What was the moment? Did you scope out like a snowman nose? What happened next?

You saw like a little. No, I just came to the realization where I was like, if I'm freaking out about this, everybody thinks like this. For sure. Everybody thinks their dick is so tiny all the time. Yeah. And it might not work in front of a hot chick.

Dude, I've the worst at yoga is when they do whatever this one is when you have to hurt the bids, dude. God forbid it's never happened to any dude. I didn't know about compression shorts at all. And I would go to yoga and just regularly wear compression shorts. No, I wouldn't at all. I'd go to the men.

I'd go and champion gym shorts. And I would just fucking you do this one. And I'd look down and I would see an outline of my balls and tiny flas of penis in my shorts and be like, come on. They all say it too. Yesterday, yesterday, I went to my this is my nutsack. Yeah, yesterday, I went to my no visible dog. What do they do?

They look, they definitely look once my personal trainer for the first time in like three weeks, I'm back. What's the status? But anyway, it wouldn't know when we do stretching. One of the stretches is fucking hip thrusters. Yeah, glute bridges. Yeah. He was sitting on a bench.

I was laying down. He was sitting like, you know, exactly where my nose was. Bird was literally going straight. No, I'm straight into the only get a smaller dick than when you're fucking bumping out. Now, if you know better, yeah, you got a pre-workout pump iron, bro, you get a fucking triple. You try running like three miles, bro.

Yep. Perhaps try just waking up as me. How was it to get the arm? I just arm blade. I did 60 pound curl. Dude, I felt big. Whoa. Damn, you don't have to brag like that.

I'm saying, what was the other place? I was like sitting there. No, I'm not bragging. Spade said people were at my birthday that listened to podcasts and they literally said I was small, so I'm fucked. Is it you were small? I can't win.

What? Honestly, I thought you'd be bigger. Yeah. I can't fucking win. If I'm big, if I'm big, if I'm big on the fattest guy in the world, if I'm skinnier or lose weight, I have eight. So. Yo, Bill, it's all right here, bro.

I know. It's right here. You're all heart, bro. You are. No, I'm saying it's all right here, bro. You feel big. You are big. You feel big.

You are big. No, I mean, I feel pretty good. I mean, cut out most of seed oils. Fucking feel pretty nice. What the fuck is that stupid ass face? I just remembered I was having a serious conversation with my ECW last night. No, stop.

Can't give it away. Give it away. Give it away. No, no, no, no, no. Teasing. But I did. We were having a serious conversation. I walked to the bathroom and I was like holding a book

and I looked down at a tiny flask of penis and I just slowly positioned the book over my penis. I was like, I mean, another thing that's not so. Well, you're ass naked having conversations, holding a book all the time. Why are you always naked? Fuck as well. I walk around naked in my house when I'm done.

That's worse than whacking off. When the day's done. Well, you're not in the mood. That's gayer than whacking off. I've never been hit with a fee. Look around naked in the house, though. That's too feral, dude. When the day's done, I'm naked.

When I'm done and the kids are asleep, I completely shed my guard. You don't think anyone's catching a peep? Through where? Any window? Like there's no shot. That's on them. I've said it before.

That's purely on them. You're fine. I last one time, the people behind me, we're all, the people who live behind me, we're all out together. And I'm like, if someone sees my dick in the window, that's on them and they both just got real quiet. I was like, fuck.

It definitely happened. And I was like, mm. Have you ever experienced any ED with the ECW? No. That's one thing, bro. It's going to be so apparent what this is. Yeah. I'm just saying, you never, never, never

quite the opposite. Never would they quite the opposite. I'm just going to. No problems. No, for sure. I'm saying, I'm saying quite the opposite. So can't stop loving you. Yeah.

God damn, my body wants you so bad all the time. Oh, man. You're going to have to delete all this. It's a joke. How did you look like that? It's a joke. How did your lifting sesh go? Lifting sesh?

Stunk. Why? I looked like a fucking moron, dude. Are you taking any sort of supplements? Why? Why, dude, you can't take supplements and lift once every three weeks. That's weird, because I thought you were sponsored by supplements.

Yeah. Yeah. New tropics, dude. Brain supplements. Brain supplements. Heart and what's the fuck, man? Could have fooled me. Heart and bone?

Oh, those things? Yeah, those are good, bro. Yeah, that's more for internal. That's like internal organisms. I thought he was talking about weight. He's talking about weightlifting supplements. Pre. Yeah, this is nice.

Neutropics. I've had every fucking pre-workout under the sun. How they work. He's got sleepiness. He has like five gym members. I think I'm tired, really. I'm not tired at all, brother. They make you sign a pact with God to fucking get off.

You can get out of him, dude. I know. I just have to go. If you go there and be like, dude, I'm actively suicidal, go to the guy and say, I'm actively suicidal. I need to get out of this. I'm not going to fucking lie to him. I'm saying, guys, I got to get out of here.

I mean, would any of us be lying if we went to the gym and went, go, I'm actively suicidal? I need out. Dude, you can get a haircut. I'm suffering with suicidal ideation. I need out of this membership. You know what's making me fucking upset? I'm going to fucking kill myself.

You guys don't let me out. Have you considered how you would do it? Of killing myself? Now we go fucking Harry. Kerry, we know he would say that. He would probably do the first time over jumper. I'm over jumper. Yeah, just like a jumper.

She was jumping. Jumping would never get close to a thing in your life. I used to work on scaffold, bro. Dude, I used to work on scaffold. You look down at something, feeding there, just staring at the gun, saying I wouldn't blast myself. Any time you hold a gun, you're just like, good. Yeah, I wouldn't blast myself any time I hold a baby.

What? Oh, I found the wall and this whole party. You know, when somebody hands you a baby at a party and you go, that's that King fucking through it against the wall. That's true. That's the first force. Yeah, that's the case. So I'm like, I'm like, Willow, dude.

I'll try to take the baby. I'll willow out. You're fucking king, dude. You'll hide it. You'll take it from me and run. Where is it? That's just that's just how you are, SG. Shut up, BM, dude.

No, no, seriously, SG, when you're on stage, like, how do you get into the fucking mode? Why is he calling you SG? SG. Bill's not a comedian, but he's dangerous enough to know the space. Yeah, from the outside. SG, SG, real quick. Why is he calling you SG?

Where do you get your inspiration? Why is he calling you SG? SG. Where do you get your inspiration from? That's comedian. Let me answer, dude. Don't just fucking snap at me. I'm done with all that stuff.

I know you got to get reps. You got to get reps. What else? It's mostly, yeah, it's mostly just getting reps. The podcasting helps. Right. Yeah. But the thing that just pisses me off the most, dude,

I'm just going to have to fucking say it is the wall woke. I mean, when do you think the pendulum is going to swing back? Yo, can I hit you? Can I hit you? Who are we making fun of, by the way? Who exactly? Gary Vee. Can I hit you with an original joke?

Well, yeah. I burned in Chicago? Yeah. You ready for this? Why is that Shytown pussy so dear? I'm good. It was like keeping it in the freezer. It was like five degrees in Chicago.

Why didn't that Shytown pussy sit? Place must have went nuts. It was the first thing I said. I probably did explode. First thing I said first time. We're going to talk about the craft. I'm going to let you know. I'm going to give you guys some popcorn.

You want to know what I opened with in Shytown at Zany's? What? I saw Lori Lightfoot at the restaurant around the corner. She was literally at the restaurant around the corner. She just got ran over all the time. In between shows, she was at the corner, and the first thing I opened with was, I just saw Lori Lightfoot.

Did she just land on poo? Yeah. She was sitting there, yeah. It's just nice. And she had all female Secret Service, and I was just talking about how no one I literally could have walked directly in. Fat ass dumb bitch.

And just strangled Lori Lightfoot to her Secret Service. You had the female ghost really wore that out tonight. Bitch, you're fat right at Lori Lightfoot. I'm surprised she doesn't have thicker security with all the Trump violence going on in Chicago. They got Smollett. Smollett, yeah. That's crazy number, dude.

White supremacists can go up and fucking grab her at any second. I mean, she did come close. A white supremacist walked in and thought about it. Matt, stop talking about white maga like that. You know what I'm saying? True, my bad, my bad, my bad. I mean, I think it's a threat to democracy

if you ask me. I think it's. All right, we got to switch. Cofefe. Can I say we're well into this, right? Patriots are. Can I say almost an hour? Oh, this thing is a fucking slog.

Can I say? I thought this was three hours. I feel like I'm going to get out there. You were Chicago. This is Patreon. We can do better. Yeah, for sure. When you were in when you were in Chicago,

was Lori was light foot picture was light foot picture everywhere. No, I don't recall. Dictator, dude. Really? In the in the I was in the Midway Airport. Your picture is fucking everywhere, dude. Yeah, I was telling Britney.

I'm like, this is a fucking mullet. Yeah. What a fucking whore. Get a fucking non binary mullet. Hey, Lori, why are you fucking retarded? Hey, I mean, I'm trying to do a podcast with Matt. Hey, as you're the proud guy. Damn it, it's working.

It's effective. He's trying to ask G. It's effective. But yeah, it was everywhere in the airport. Now it's like me today. And the counter should have worked. No, you tease. I told you, you wanted to have a Nancy podcast.

You have a Nancy. I let us do. You guys want to have a Nancy. I try to talk to myself. It feels like a little baby Billy. I'll kill myself. Little baby Billy. I'll kill myself.

Don't make me. Actually, I know you're the pro man. I love you. I love you. No, we love you. No, we love you. It's going to come a cheater. Sweet.

What is going to come on? Sweet. All right, that's the end of maybe the Patreon. We'll see if we do better or worse. True, true. Let's give it the switch. Goodbye. If this is the regular, join us on Patreon.

Yes, and if not, welcome. Welcome to the Patreon. Thank you. Thank you for subscribing. Thank you for making us number one on Patreon. True. About to be.