Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 451 - Damn Things Fine (feat. Tom Segura)

Episode Date: July 6, 2023

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod WATCH Tom's New Special Sledgehammer on NETFLIX Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Surprise! Here's a sneaky late night cast for you all. We're here this week with very special guest and elite D.A.W.G. Tom Segura. You must go watch his new spesh Sledgehammer on Netflix. Please enjoy. God Bless.   Support the show and get 10% Off with the code DRENCHED at https://Lucy.co This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try for 10% off your 1st month at betterhelp.com/drenched & get on your way to being your best self Get 25% OFF @ trueclassic with Promo Code DRENCHED at https://trueclassictees.com/DRENCHED #trueclassicpod

Wait till the camera gets. Okay, sorry. Hi, we're here with Tom Segura. Hello. Nice. Welcome. Thank you. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you for having me. We were just, uh, we're just recapping the beer Olympics, which I thought was going to be fun. Yeah, I was invited to that. I could make it dodge the bullet. I think I'm going to see those guys tomorrow. No, they're the best guys. But man, if you get that many football guys together, it gets, it's, yeah.

It got so fucking competitive. You need them to do it with themselves. It's like trans athletes. You guys do your own fucking thing. And leave us out of this. We're good in the women's league. Yeah, exactly. We in everyone's like Shane and Bert are gonna win.

Not nowhere near. No. What were the things? It's like beer pong, flip cup, beer ball, which you just throw a ping pong ball at a beer can. Okay. And you gotta, that was me and Bert's worst because you have to scramble to pick the ball up.

What? What? Me and Bert can't bend down. And the other dudes, the other dudes were so fast at trying so hard. Like, show the dudes out of the way. They don't have it on the ball. Dude, casual.

No. When it comes to like a competition. Yeah, yeah. If it's lounging or if like you're hanging out, you're like, this guy's a regular guy. Yeah. And then it's like, who's, who do you think is the best at this?

And that, just asking that question alone changes everything. And that, oh, the the chug I blew it. So the opening, the opening event was chug a leader. So I think that's like three beers. Yeah. And I was like, this is the one thing me and Bert have a shot at. Yeah.

Uh, I tried to chug as fast as I could just went straight up my nose. I have to stop. Such a bitch. It was a bitch. Was it a public carbonated? I mean, yeah, it was. Yeah, up your nose. There's no fucking joke.

No, I tried to power through it. I stopped, and I was like, you're wearing my nose. Puppet in your nose is never fucking. It was, uh, nothing as easy. It was, it was so bearish. I was just a fat bitch all day. Then I'm so glad I didn't go. You dodged it, dude.

Although I was also bringing a lot of it on myself. I was tripping. You should've called the cops. Because I was trying, I threatened, I threatened all the tricks. I said, if you put your hands on me, I'm shitting and you're pulled, dude. Don't come, I said,

I'm gonna have a gun in my car, I'm gonna kill everyone. I have an AR-15. I'm gonna kill everyone. I have an AR 15. I'm gonna shoot everyone in here. If you keep bullying me. What is the, so wait, what's the, what's the pro line up there? It's good. Who was it? Who was in it? So the winners was George Kittle and DeForest Buckner. Oh Jesus Christ Christ. The Forest Buckner is a freak dude. Yeah guy, you're like holy fuck. Yeah.

These guys are already tired. No. What? No, they're like pro bowlers. And they're good lay? Yes. And they're getting hammered too. Yeah, they got a shit face.

Yeah, so it's like not only that level of athleticism, but they're also fueled. They're fired up. Yeah, they're fired up. And then, so like, you guys know me. If somebody says something mean to me, I try to say the meanest thing possible. Yeah.

And if you do that to those guys, it's a, they will resort to violence. Sure. They will immediately go to violence. Yeah. And you're just, I only tempered it. Was it like just like, like headlocks and like Taylor gave me 10 different headlocks. He made me tap 10 times.

And I was like, dude, I'm gonna tap every time. Stop doing it. And sometimes he wouldn't listen to the tap. I'm like, dude, for real this time. And you're a big dude, which just got me I mean I was I was a big boy It goes to like about like how what other Like these fucking freaks are I suplexed him. Yeah, I hope they got that on camera I was got him a couple times there. There you go holding under water at one point You know me in the water dude like true. I said come down to the deep

Dude creature little hippo in there So kiddo There's a little hypo in there. There's a creature. So Kittle. Kittle and Bokner won. And who else is there? It was Will and Taylor. The guy that really did the most physical damage to me, he was a guy named James Nealy. He's a retired NHL player.

And I thought he was joking. We were playing pool basketball, so we were shoving off the ball, pushing kind of as hard as we could. I thought he was joking. We were playing pool basketball, so we were shoving off the ball, pushing kind of as hard as we could. I thought he was joking. At one point, while I thought we were joking, he grabbed me by the throw and nailed me down. What the hell was I doing? I thought we were joking.

And he was like, my bad, my bad on that one. I was like, holy shit. Yeah. You're describing a scenario in which everybody then goes, where's Tom? Because I would have fucking left. Like, I would have been like fucking. Yeah, Bert was on Bert was back in our little. Yeah.

He did not play pool basketball. Wasn't the event. We were just playing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can see Bert being like, I really didn't like when you choked me. Yeah. Yeah. I see Bert being like I really didn't like when you choke me Yeah, yeah, I didn't like that. I didn't like when you shoved me also. I

Underwater getting shoved getting shoved to do it with me my professional shovers too Yeah, true. I got it literally one of the best Taylor the ones one of the greatest shovers of all time He's shoving you he was shoving the fuck out of me dude I've cuts all over my back from the wall He basically this is an advertisement to like hey don't invite anybody who's not one of you Like to that thing ever again. Yep. It's a big Go up the donkey pull the ass bone your older cousin just shoves you into the wall I went up for a donkey to dude tried to swat it and just fucking hit me straight into the face.

Oh Jesus. Yeah, I called a foul. This makes me feel like, I was like, there's gotta be one foul here because I just got punched in the face. This is what it really sounds like is like a bunch of a group of big brothers

where like let's all invite our little brothers over and fuck him up for a day. That's the first experience of mine where I was the little brother, because I was always big. So I was never the little brother that you could do wrestling moves to. This was the first time guys were strong enough to just fucking ragged all me for it. But I was hammered.

So nothing hurt. Nothing hurt until the next day. And I was like, oh my God, covered in bruises. It's a cool part of my identity being like a soup flexible little brother. Yeah. That's all I knew, growing up. You can't beat up. I got beat up the entire time.

You're the older cousins and brothers. Yeah, and you got big fucking cousins and brothers. Big brothers, yeah. I never got that. I had sisters. I was just beating women like us. Yeah, that's kind of nice. It's like, it's just too.

Fifth grade is when things turn around in the house. Yeah, that's when I started dishing out. Yeah, it was rest and then I was big into wrestling at the time. So I was like, I can do moves. Do you ever pretty sure what the whole of them at once? They were like seniors in high school and you're like holding home in a fifth grade boy. I'm like, come here. I

I beat them up in front of their friends? Yeah. So friends are definitely that way. But their friends would beat me up to it. Well, I'm gonna be young man. I'm gonna let them do that. You're playing. They used to hold me down.

This was one move this lady used to do was hold me down, put my foot, I'd be flat on my back and tuck my foot into the back of my underwear. But you can't get it out. You just have to roll around like a little pig on the ground. You were showing your half flexible, you were. I was so hard, dude. Oh, I forgot about that.

That's a nice memory. Did you ever have, do you get older sisters? Yeah. You ever have a sister's boyfriend punk you out or like try to hurt you? I did no I had one time where you know I was always kind of a smart ass Yeah, so this guy comes over and I was like oh so you know I forget what I say to him But I'm just like it's not like really Mean but I think he was just kind of a dummy so

What I'm like. Oh, yeah, how's the how's the season going? You guys doing all right? He was, so I'm, oh he's an athlete. He's an athlete, he's thinking that I'm, I guess like I'm either mocking him or talking to him like an older man would. And he was like, he's just kind of like cleaning it gun the whole time. And then, and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and it got in the whole time. And they had another one. Nobody else. So, that's for me, plopping on the couch. Couch against the wall, it's usually. But everyone is out of the room. Like, it was just me and him for a second. And then he just, he was like, he just looked at me.

And just real quick, just punched me in the stomach. Yeah, yeah. What a piece, yeah. Yeah. I fucking cried. I cried. I was like, I was like, and I just,

I just, were you nicely being like, how's your season going? Are you following? He was just taking it. I get it in a sense that he was like, why is this kid that's like a couple of years younger than me? Being like,

because I was like, and I kind of like, I sat like on the arm of the couch. I was like, why is this kid that's like a couple years younger than me? Being like, because I was like, and I kinda like, I sat like on the arm of the couch. I was like, how's it going, man? And I think he was like, How you doing, champ? I think he was like, he was, he was thinking I was setting it up. I don't think I had said something particularly,

but he thought I was like, and everything going on right there, it's class, and then he just went like, back like that, and I was like, and everything going on right there. It's class. And then he just went like, back like that. And I was like, I'm not like that. I'm fucking cried, dude. I went in the other room and cried, so he couldn't see me crying, but I totally cried.

Yeah. Fuck, yeah. Someone came out to date one of my older cousins, and we were like, I grew up next door to my cousins, so there's 10 of them and six of us. So this guy pulled up to like take one of my older cousins out, and it was just a bunch of little kids, and we like found his keys. He left them in his car. I mean, just hit him from like hours. This guy was trying to take our cousin out.

And he couldn't. He was fucking curious. And finally, like, you know, here you go. Do you ever fucking with you? He's like, the fuck? Yeah, you guys are the fucking you get the win the crazy. You win the crazy. He was floored to the flies. It's like, which one of you took my keys? Obviously it was one. to the flies. It's like which one of you took my keys? Obviously it was what it is. Don't have moves.

It's running around. That would destroy you internally. Yeah. Yeah, as your keys are fucking like and then there's a lot of things. So bad. He's going to check the couch at the stranger's house. And then everyone's just like, what are you fucking? I sit down.

You know, your keys are for five minutes. Yeah, we snatched them. Fuck this guy. Who's this guy? Fuck this guy. Fuck this guy. was just like, what are you? Can I sit down? You know what you're keeping for five minutes. Yeah, we snatched him. What the fuck is guy? Who's this guy? Fuck this guy. The pool basketball was a mistake. Overall, a fun trip.

Yeah. And here's where things went south. I was a little drunk, obviously, from the beer Olympics, not that bad. I took ketamine. But you did. I didn't know ketamine. Oh, you did. I didn't know that part. Oh, wow.

At the end. After the thing on the way, you went to. It was such a sick move. It was, it was just, somebody cool was doing it. So I was like, I want to be cool. I'll do it. Yeah. We were driving over.

I was like, I'll do some cool stuff too. And I've never been any, I've never done ketamine. What was it like? I did too much. Oh, you're in the hole. I literally, I got out of the car, held onto a truck. I got out of the truck and just held onto the side. And I was like, I'm going home.

I'm not going into the party. I have to go home. I can't walk. And people, it was at Zaini's. So like, were you drinking and doing ketamine? I was drinking. Yeah. And then I took the cat. I stopped drinking as soon as that happened. Yeah, and then it was at Zaini's in Nashville so a bunch of like

comedians the owner was there all this is just a party after party. Yeah, and all these comedians like shame. Hey, what's up? I was like Hey, how are you guys like people were like oh my god? I was like, how are you guys? Like people were like, oh my God. Like this guy's got a real problem. I'm going to get him. I took a cat to me. Everyone was like, you. I'm going to go home.

Is it a comparable hide anything? Like is there? No, I don't. It's like a disassociated person. It makes you leave your body. I did it once like a little bit. So it wasn't, it was like just great. Yeah. And then that was I did a lot. I can bit, so it wasn't, I was like just great. Yeah.

And then that was I did a lot. I can't get high at any social setting though. I can't enjoy myself. But then I went home and when I got thrown and pulled my wallet was lost. So I didn't have my room key or my ID to get into the hotel, so I'd sit in a lobby until Bert got back, because they had it.

What? So I'm just sitting there, I can't move. I was just sitting in a chair in a hotel lobby and then they came back and I was like, guys, I can't, I'm fucked, I can't walk, I did drugs, dude. I did fucking drugs. My brain's a scrambled egg right now. And then I was like, I don't think I can walk

and they were like, yeah, you can, just walk over that wall and walk back. I was like, there's no way my legs work. Everything works fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just in your own head, they're like, yeah, you can. Just walk over that wall and walk back. I was like, there's no way my legs work. Everything works fine. You're just in your own head. You're like, I can't move my arms. Again, you're moving your arms. And then we sat there for a while.

I just drank water for like an hour. It wears off. It's like 45. It wears off and you're fine. I heard a short, yeah. So I sat there and then sobered up. And I was like, what the fuck was that? Why would I do that?

That was insane. But now that you've had that, would you, would you never do that again? No, because even being aware, you think it'd be enjoyable if you were aware that you're not unable to walk? You know what I mean, I guess people do it and they're used to it and they really enjoy it.

Yeah, well, my mother has these lost inches. You just, you know, and you just lay down with a blanket and you just leave your body for 45 minutes and you just come right back into it. Yeah, my mother has these lost into this. You just eat them and just lay down with a blanket and you just leave your body for 45 minutes and you just come right back into it. If I was taking a nap, yeah, that's yeah, that would have been great. It's like a super nap, but out of party. No, do you smoke weed? Yeah, regular like yeah, and you? No, no, I've got back. I can't handle weed. Can you like, can you handle edibles and shit to or no? Yeah, Mackinand or like a McDonald's weed I can drive on them

Like up because everybody just yeah, I have this thing where like I know that like regular smoke people who smoke a lot Now it's not always this way, but some of them have an incredible tolerance for edibles like you know Ryan sickler You know sickler. Yeah, he can He can just munch him. Not just like, oh, he can eat like 600 ml. Like he can do that. I'll freak out. I don't need much. I'll freak out. Even Diaz was like, there's no way that Ryan can handle a star at death

and Ryan was like, give it to me. He ate the whole thing. It's like 600 ml. And he was like, I was fucking me up. He was fine. I would be high for like two days But you can probably like 20 and 50 do nothing to you. No, they fuck me up. Oh, they fuck you up losing my mind I'll take 10 milligrams of losing my mind. You're just you're just confunction on it. I'll just you're good I got you internalizing the freak out the second I take it

I'm just telling everyone I'm like I'm done. No, I'll be like I'm telling every level of my conscience I'll be driving like a be like I'm telling you the next level of my consciousness. I'll be driving up to you. I have to look at all of this. It's a hard turn to make on this road. Nice turn. Mike, I swear, Avenue is poorly designed. I can't believe that. Can you do stand-up high? No, I'm terrible.

I'll forget what I'm doing. So I'll like, I'll get a joke. I'll get a laugh and I'll just go, all right, what am I up to now? Oh, no. Yeah, for me, I want it so badly to be able to do it high. I can't me to and not one of the hardest I ever bombed was on the road with Rogan. And he likes to, like he likes to fuck yeah, like really pull like from a massive fucking and like a joint that is laced. He's just like, he's like, he's like, do it. And I was like, I was opening for him. I was like, cool, all right.

And then I was like, I'm so fucking high. And then he goes, you go out there for, like you go, because I was like, I'm dead. And I was like, and I walked out there at the, it was the Columbus Funnybone. And they happen is that everybody, when you do those clubs, you're actually like, begging for this guy, Dave Strupp, to see you perform. And they happen is that everybody, when you do those clubs, you're actually like begging

for this guy Dave Strupp to see you perform because he books all, he owns like, so they're like, Strupp's here. And I was like, cool. And I go out there and I remember that like the first thing I said, I was like, I said something like, you know, they introduced me and it was like a, it was packed, but it was like a mediocre reception. I was like, what is this fucking like Ann Arbor? Like trying to be like, oh that's boo.

Yeah, if you bring up Ann Arbor, and they were like super flat and I was like, I'm about to bomb. Like I was, and I bombed so hard that when I got off, it was even worse, I got off, and I take that corner into the back room, and the first person I see is Strupp, he goes, what happened out there?

Oh, shit. I was like, I go, they're fucking, no, it's just one of those. Club sucks, this is for you. Yeah, it's fucking terrible here, man. Fucking chill. I was like I go there fucking now. I just just want to suck you Terrible here man, I'm fucking chill sucks. God damn I just and I was like I go I can't just like I can't just stand up high and then You know Joe's high. He's like that was cool, right? I was like, no, he's like yeah, it's good I was like yeah, and then I did another one high, but also with him being like, here you go, just take it.

Yeah, like, all right. And I, that one was, the set was fine, but internally it wasn't. Cause like, you hear like, like I hand slap and you're like, what's with that? You know, that's, I was like, what is that? And though he's like, it's people clapping. I was like, oh, I don't like that.

Yeah. I don't even do that. You do that, yeah. I don't know, I just, I can't do it high, dude. I don't like to even have, but I don't like to have a drink either. I like to drink after a set. I don't like it before.

I can have one. If I have two, I start getting like, ass-old drunk confidence, or I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, I second guess things. What I do is I get off stage and I go, did I word that funny? Or even when I'm up there, I feel like I would have said

this more clearly if I wasn't. But you can do that. I can drink and do sand. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, found out, it would take to special this weekend. Oh, you did. Turns out alcohol might help. Really?

Yeah, first show, I was like, I gotta go into this sharp, so average. Average. Average. In between sets, I was like, I gotta go into this sharp, so average show. In between sets I was like, I'm gonna kill, give me those beers. Yeah. You didn't really drink that much, did you? No, not like a lot, but like, you know, four or five.

Grease the wheel. Yeah. You had four or five before the second show? Yeah. That's not a lot. Like that's not chillin. Five mud lights. Four or five.

Or maybe a course of two hours. Yeah, that's nothing. But most like, but yeah, this is a different thing. Like you are coming to the realization that this is fuel for you. Like this helps. I did it. Most people will be like,

are you doing five beers before you're second taking? So you want to sabotage. Yeah, I can't, I can have one drink. They say it does loosen you up. I tried. And it was awesome. And it was awesome. I tried, I did have one drink. It does loosen you up. I tried. And it was awesome. I talked about it before. I tried, I did a weekend in Tacoma.

And I was like, I'm just, I got a not drink. Yeah. So I was like, I zero alcohol the whole weekend. And every single show, I was like, this sucks. I suck. And then the Saturday late show, I was like, I'm gonna have a couple beers before it, I just destroyed it.

What do you think it is? What do you think it is? Does it just puts you in a different head space? Yeah, I think so. Just more relaxed, more. Yeah. And what, so it was awesome. I mean, I could probably get used to not drinking.

Yeah, you do. You do get used to it. I prefer it now. I am a little bit sharper, but now it's like, if I do have one drink, I do relax a little. It's like a, I save it for the very last show of the weekend. I'll have a drink while I'm on stage.

And it's like, because if I have a drink and I have not a good set, I just turn on myself. I'm like, Yeah, drunk. Yeah, you drunk. I drink like six drinks a month. You fucking drunk. Like you're a piece of shit. Yeah, loser. Yeah, the second one went great. Yeah. Where did you take at Tyson's Hall or no, Tyson's Virginia, Capitorn Hall. It's a new theater there. Nice. That was a set though. It was on that Iowa. Also, it was less the alcohol more.

I've never taped a special. Yeah. So having a fucking camera floating around. The first show I was like, I'll just stare. I'd tell a joke and be like, you're just a stranger to a camera. Yeah, I was like, you got to see that. But you're super happy now with the second one.

I'm happy with it. But then I don't watch myself do stand up. So then I watch it, I'm getting clips and shit. I'm like, Jesus fucking crows. Really? Yeah, I can't get enough of myself. I'm a man. Are you serious?

I don't know. Something flipped. Something flipped it out of me. Yeah, you were showing me clips. I love it. Yeah, you were showing me clips of your shit. And I was like, he flip it down me. Yeah, you show me close. I love it. Yeah, you show me clips of your shit And I was like he was watching like That's been a recent development now kind of like that looks great. It does look great. It's weird. It does look great I swear to God. I want to be like I fucking sucks, but I'm watching like

I'd be like, I fucking sucks, but I'm watching. I'm like, I'm so funny. I forgot I did that. It's got so good. You know, fuck is this? It's gross, dude. I wouldn't watch, I wouldn't watch the line cut for months. And then they go, you have to give us notes. Like, yeah.

We have to get the, and then I sent in one set of notes, and then they give you the second cut, and they're like, we need this one. I'm scrapping it. And I do like it now. Yeah, I was like I go they go have you watched it? And I was like now I don't want to watch it. Yeah, they're like well They go we're gonna actually Like miss the release date if we don't turn this in in like a week

And so I like I wish I shot in November dude and I was giving oh jeez I was giving notes in like late May to get this thing ready And they were like come on I was like I don't May to get this thing ready. Yeah. And they were like, come on. I was like, I was like, I don't want to watch this. Yeah. Yeah. It does suck. There's parts of it where you start going like I did it

because I was be like, ah, I shouldn't have filmed this. I'm a fucking idiot. And then like, I'll have that and I'll be like, it's getting better towards the middle. Yeah, yeah. Tough start. Did you shoot yours recently too? Yeah.

Where did you shoot yours? Helium, Philly. Oh, that's a great one. Yeah, so yeah, the first, I filmed a YouTube special and I watched it. That was great. I watched it. Oh, thank you.

I watched it by myself. And I was like, this is a fucking disaster. Really? Like this is the dumbest piece of shit. I looked terrible. This is terrible. It's so good. And then I watched it with someone else.

And they laughed. While they were laughing, I was like, yeah, it's good. I fucking played it for the mayor and no one the way home. They didn't fucking even. They didn't even lay. I was like, hey guys, we go over rewind that part. That was actually. You hear that part? Did you get the nuance? Yeah, you can't put it on with those two. Matt, I was talking to you film your special and Philly, helium two. No, no, no, which one? White girls with corn rooms. Oh, fuck, where did I, no, I recorded, that's funny, sorry, I recorded that in a, They have it up at helium, that's why I asked.

Oh, that's right. Okay, they asked for albums from people who play the club. I recorded it in Denver. I remember that I recorded in Denver. Comedy works? At the South Club. And the reason I did it at the South Club,

because they wouldn't give me a week downtown. Really? Yeah, I had done it already. So I was like, oh, can I come back and do another, I was like, it's the magic room. And they were like, now, you can do it at the other club. So I just couldn't get the booking, you know? Yeah, no one gives a fuck when you're trying to film a special.

Well, it was, I was trying so I was like, where, if you're not, I wasn't a big ticket seller when I did it. So they were like, no. And then as soon as you sell tickets, they're like, oh, yeah, we can make, we can, we'll bump everybody. Yeah, we'll cancel people. And you're like, oh, that's how this works. Okay. Yeah They offer me that this time, and I was like, no, I'm not yeah, I have a tour just pick one of these. Yeah, yeah But the yeah, first time I was trying I was trying very hard to get a place

Everyone was like you can do a Wednesday here. Yeah, yeah No, no, an audience Yeah, I was a night. Creek was a nice spot for the. Creek was great. I was happy with that. Yeah, that's special. So good, man. I was just talking about how like you can tell when you watch, I think every time I watch

specials and like I first of all finish it. Yeah, or I think I even at the 15 minute mark. Like I remember watching first time I watch Burt's first special, the secret time one, I called, because they gave me an advance screening on cause I was gonna do a podcast. I go, he sent it to me and Netflix sent it to me. I was like, you're definitely gonna do theaters next. He was like, really?

I go, absolutely. Cause it was really good. Nate Bargazze's first one, I paused it, and I go, you clear your schedule. Like, this is really, really good good and I thought yours was like that too That's really and it and it and it did have that effect like it's totally changed your touring life Let's change to you. Okay, I will say I did watch it I never watch specials and I was like let me see what they're like and I was watching yours

I'm like, yeah, this was fucking good. I was like turn it back on like watch it now. I was like Jesus Christ. I watched I watched sledgehammer last night. No thanks and it was I Don't watch specials Or I do but I turn you know you turn them off. Yeah, I was laying right there. I Haven't laughed out loud at a special in a very I was by myself at like midnight later and he like I was by myself at like midnight later and he like The the closer it made me oh thanks. I'm dying dude. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, that was that was really fucking good man It is the best to hear I mean People can tell you that they like it, but when other comics tell you they like it. Yeah, there's no person It is the best. Yeah, it's nice feeling and

In the round filming it there was yeah, is the best. Yeah, it's a nice feeling. And in the round, filming it there was cool. Yeah, it was cool. I thought it looked awesome. I thought, dude, I deserve no credit, but when I, I did want to do it in the round, because I was like, it's a fun, different thing. I've done it in the round in a couple of arenas, and then there's only a couple of theaters left.

They have the round ones in Long Island. Yeah. I forget the name of that one. It's an old theater. And is the Paramount? Yeah. I forget the name of that one. It's an old theater. And is the Paramount? Yeah. I think it's a Paramount. Paramount, I didn't do it.

It's in the round. I didn't do it. You just slowly rotate. I did that theater with Bert. The celebrity? Yes. And I first, I never did a round. I stood still and rotated.

It's very common. And my feet, when the cord was around my feet, at both point, those were a 15 minutes set. Yeah. In a circle. And then half my act is, most of it's dumb facial expression. So you slow dance. So you make a facial expression and only a third of the room

season. And then I turn around. I turn around. We all, you do it. Do it to the other side. I'm just gonna show you guys what you did. Yeah, I did not like it, I was not used to it. It's so cool.

It is, it fucking, they did a killer job of the set. I thought it was actually that, like, when I went out for the, because you arrive early on tapings, I walked in and I room and I was like, holy shit, and they go, oh, this isn't even like done, they're like, kill the arrived early on tapings, I walked in and I room and I was like, holy shit. And they go, oh, this isn't even like done, they're like, kill the, and they showed me, I was like, this is the coolest looking. It was coming down, it was cool.

It was fucking right. Yeah, it looks cool, man. It looks really good. Yeah, they killed it, that's a John Irwin produced it. He's the, he's the fucking man. So he made it look good. And I taped four. Really? I taped four and I've never done that.

And everybody who has done it was like, gotta do it, you gotta do it. And you know, your experience is what I've always experienced in tapings, which is like, you do show one and you're like, all right, like we got one, but like, the show two is always what I use. We taped four fucking shows and we use show one.

I cycle that. I mean, I was like, I had a whole weekend, I had six shows. So I was like, just film all of them. Wow. Doesn't case. What is one? I'll be pissed. Have you gotten to the edit yet?

Are you editing? Yeah, we did. We are never using mostly two of them. Yeah. Dude, I used to show one? I've never done that before. And I use the whole deal. That's it. That's kind of tight. The Austin one I did show one. Yeah. But I had done. I did Friday. I was trying to film four. And they just fucked up Friday. Yeah.

And then no one told me because they didn't want me to be upset when I went on stage. So I got done. I was like, killed it. Oh, that was it. And they were like, we didn't want me to be upset when I went on stage. So I got done, I was like, killed it. I was like, that was it. And they were like, we didn't have audio. I was like, wait, what? Like, so we got crowd reactions that those are gonna be good. I was like, oh, well, that's wonderful. So now I'm too short, yeah.

We had kind of a similar thing where they didn't want to tell me this. And I could tell by the way they were talking. So like, show one is, it's the one you saw, and like the crowd, you know, I care about, obviously the performance, but like the energy of the, like you want to put one out that's like energetic and hot. So it's like a bonkers crowd, right?

They're really hot. So I'm in love with it. I do show two on Friday, and I was like, that's how, you know, that's all right, definitely show one. And they're like, all right, Saturday comes. And the show is like, it's a good performance, but it's a little less energy. And I'm like, well, hey, we're still on show one.

And they're like, uh-uh, people start to tell me, they're like, no, no, this one. And I'm like, what? Yeah. They're like, that, you were amazing in that. And I was like, what are you talking about? Like, this feels weird that you're saying this. Yeah, why are you saying this? Yeah, I'm like, yeah, what I was like, what are you talking about? Like, this feels weird that you're saying this. Yeah, why are you saying this?

Yeah, I'm like, yeah, what's the real, why are you saying this? Then I do the fourth show and they're like, actually, that one, and I'm like, wait, wait, wait. What? And then I realized that show one, they had a little bit different lighting scheme. It wasn't as dark.

So the producers and the crew, they prefer night too, because it's more cinematic looking. They had a little bit of fog in the air, and they cut that, and I was like, okay. And then they go, we didn't, first of all, they're like, there's more people moving. Like there's people getting up and show one.

And on the rest of the show is they tell them, don't move. So I guess it's a distraction. I go, I don't give a fuck about any of that. I go, I don't care if it's brighter and there's people moving. I go, the show is better. That's the special. Yeah. And they did not want me to do it. They wanted me to use these other shows. But I was like, you can't let that shit dictate what you pick. I was distracted.

You were? No. Now people told me, some people have messaged me, they're like, what's up with all the people moving? I'm like, I don't fucking know. Really? Yes. Yeah, people walking in front of the camera and shit, it's like, yeah. Mine was more of a learning experience.

Yeah. I'm like, now I know how you do it. I didn't know. Yeah, it is a weird thing. It's crazy. It's the most uncomfortable feeling. Yeah. Well, luckily I heard I could kind of like, you explain me your whole thing

where you watch it yourself and we're like freaking out. So I was like, okay, so I just didn't have to, I was just like, whatever. Watching yourself is. But yeah, now you're in heaven. You love watching yourself. Now I'm gonna kill you. This is the best of it.

I'm walking around, he's like, what do you want? What meme is that? Let me see that. It's me. It's me. To me. Dude, it's weird. It's been a weird shift that happened internally.

We're almost like, I'll catch myself doing stuff like that kind of looks stupid and I get it. You'll get it next time, brother. Don't worry about it. Look at that thing. That's great. That's so nice. That's really nice thing. It's weird. That's so nice. That's a really nice thing.

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Drench for 25% of your birth order. Look at best feel your best and be your best with true classic. Oh, yeah, brother I judge yeah, I judge my voice my hands Dude, you know what? No, I did I stopped I we I used to be in the grocery store And I would see people when I'd be like, look at this dumb fucking pussy dumb ass. And I stopped doing that. I just made an effort to stop doing that. And I got nicer to myself as a result.

Totally didn't even go for it. Look at that girl. Look at that lady's stupid head. Look at that fucking weirdo. And I started just being like, trying to be nice in my head. That guy thinks he's better than me? Literally, it's that.

Look at him. It's that, just being like, like I'm fucking home. I That guy thinks he's better than me. Literally, it's that. Look at him. It's that. It's being like, that guy, he's tall. I'm probably as a bigger dick than me, but like, I'm probably better SAT scores. Like, yeah. Yeah, I cut a lot out of that. Nobody in here knows I did a Netflix special.

No one, that's why they're treating me so poorly. It's not because I'm disheveled. Dude, now I'm at the beach with my family right now. Now, this is another test, a mental test, dude. We're like, I'm there, I got kids, my wife, and you'll see like, just like college kids with beautiful women, like tossing a football back to forth. There's a part of me that's kind of like,

like, something to ball, guy. That's what you like, dude, that's over for you, man. Yeah, that's not. I learned the hard way. That's what you like do that's over for you man. Yeah, that's not right. I learned the hard way. That's what you think dude. I learned a very hard way. There's part of the horse play is done for me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do also give up my game. He's saying though, what you're saying, I have bit my tongue where I like it'd be really fun to throw the ball right now. Yeah, you know, I mean like it's not that do with the it's chit and there's a hard way to horse plays done. Horse play. You earned the hardest.. It's horse play into the hardest

Do you learn to one of the hardest ways I've ever seen someone Horse play years or over No, yeah, I know Learn to fly again. No, yeah, I know. And I have to, well, here's the thing. I got to learn to fly again. I, no, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, hurt. No, this time when I went back, I dunked on nine. I dunked on nine. That's good. And I dunked on nine at 250. That's crazy. Yeah, that was 250. That's crazy. And I also like, when the surgeon,

that's really fucking impressive. Yeah, that's awesome. And I was 42, like, I mean, so that was like, but the surgeon, he goes, I tried to dunk it the sky's out of a trampoline recently, and just break down the rear. Sorry. No, sorry. No, it's not good. You should be doing it.

Oh yeah, I'm on this. I was like, oh, fuck, dude. No, I was so fired up. I think, but that surgeon, he goes, you know, I tore it. So I had a double whammy because I tore this tender. And he goes, you know, most people when they tear their tendon, they tear it at the connection point. So either the where it is on the patella or where it is here, he goes, your store in

the middle. He goes, what you see see like in 2% of these things. And I go, so what? Well, he goes, it just takes a tremendous amount of force. So it makes sense because like, yeah, there's just 250 pound dude, 250 pound. Jumping as hard as he can. And then it's just like snapped in the middle. Yeah. Yeah. You're like Zion. I kind of look like him. You like Zion, dude? Yeah. That guy not broken. He's blowing out a shoes.

Yeah. But he's like, he's like fucking, he's. Yeah, they traded him. He's gonna explode. Yeah. Yeah. Where is he now? I'll do that for him.

Didn't they trade him? If they trade, they just signed it. Oh, no, never mind. I thought he was, no. For some reason I was thinking Memphis, which was... Did you just have that baby mama scandal? Yeah, the baby mama scandal. Oh, no.

Which was, she sold him out, right? Like she went on social media and was like, I think she was like two different. Two different. What did she say? What was the... Like an only fans girl and then another only fans. Oh, oh, right. Mill's I believe. Who is this guy?

Zion Williamson basketball. Is he the guy who just got drafted? Or is he? No, he was a freak. He played it, dude. He's a freak. He's like, he's fat. Oh, really? He's getting well, every time because he's like not playing. Yeah, he'll just gain like 80 pounds Jesus, but he's but he can jump out of the like he's a monster You know what they gave us a tour at Cameron when I did yeah, I did a show at in whatever yeah, Durham Whatever so they gave us a tour at Cameron and which is fucking rad because others a little budget do caterers But I'm like give me a tour of any yeah, I blew it. I said I was said no. I really yeah, I just did Durham and but I was like my flight was

So cool fuck so I was talking to the guy. It was awesome. It was awesome. Fuck He gave me he gave me a certain sock It was it was so rap and the guy one of the guys who gives us toys been there for like their whole Dynasty, right? Like this guy was just like been a part. So we're you know, there's all these like Photos trophies everywhere and he's like talking about each player like this guy. So I was like What's up? Like talking about that because there's a couple pictures of him that look like they're fucking AI Yeah, flying through the air and you're and he's six eight and he's like like two six Freshman in college and you're like Jesus Christ and he's like you know when we did the

The vertical test you know they take you ever seen those for like the heaven at the combine where has like these little Yeah, you jump straight up. Oh, you tap the yeah, it's got the moves Okay, every every inch is a little plastic. Yeah shows which one you hit. And when you go pop, it goes like that, right? So, and they go all the way to the top. So, he goes and he does the vertical test and he hits the very top one. So the whole thing moves and they're like, what the fuck, right?

All the other players are like, so then they get a 45 pound plate from the weight room and they put the vertical thing on that, right? So now it's like, like, whatever. Yeah. This much higher. Top one. So they take a second plate. So now it's two 45 pound plates on top hits the top when they go. That's it. What's his vert? What is his vertical jump? I mean, when he's sub three hundred. Oh, because it's like, yeah, tall, too. Yeah, but still a guy that big doing that. I mean,

but no, if you're that tall, also, that kind of hurts your tall too. Yeah, but still a guy that big doing that. I mean, but no if you're that tall also that Kind of hurts your very true. Yeah starts where your hands straighten the air He's I mean that's where you start it's over 40. Okay, so yeah, you're then they measure it makes it it's over 40 Yes, him being tall. It was just nice. Yeah, I had like a 40 something in yeah, you got a 45 inch vert That is fucking that's great. I had a 40 something. Hey, I just got to be insane. Yeah, Tommy. We were yeah, this is great We were on the road is me naim and Tommy and Tommy and naim went to gym and they Tommy was doing box jumps Who's this my friend Tommy. Oh, okay, and it was you Oh yeah, yeah, we were doing boxes. Yeah, I remember.

But Tommy did a box jump onto a 44 inch box, and they were like, 44 inch vert. No. I mean, they came, they came to lunch with me, and they were like, Tommy has a 44 inch verticle leap. I was like, Lebron James has a 44 inch verticle leap. Tommy did not have a 40 inch verticle leap. He lifted his knees up.

He lifted his knees up. That was like top vert. Yeah. Vince Carter, 45. Yeah. I was like, yeah, you're pretty much Vince. I don't think that was like top verse. It was like Vince Carter 45. I was like, yeah, you're pretty much Vince. I don't think you can tuck your knees in. Just don't. No, they tucked his knees and jumped off.

It's like, yeah. How about Marant? What is his vertical? It's got it. Marant's vertical. It looks so stupid. It doesn't look real actually when he jumps. Have you ever seen that guy jump?

No. It looks, it actually looks cartoon. It's crazy. It looks cartoon. It looks like that. It's kind of like bizarre. He's got 44 so him and Tom Zion I was falling Zion when he was in high school because it was all this highlights wherever he was from South Carolina and so he's just planning on white dudes that are five five Yeah, and he's it's the funniest

It's the funniest mix they've you've everis. He's going through the leg dunks on kids. There's that one kid that's like, there's that famous kid. Oh, a kid who's like talking shit to him, trying to DM off. Yeah, yeah. It's fucking dunked off. And it's getting the kid head. His head is like, this kid.

You see him going like, this the people, like, Ziya's like, what's going on? That was me. That was me. That was me. I was like, let's go. Nothing you guys can do. I'm never gonna tap This I am on a chair when I was in high school before he would transfer to that. There's this crazy like School in Carolina. That's for I think it's Oak Hill Academy. Yeah, it's Oak Hill, I think that was Carmelo. Yeah, but so Vince went there or one of the one like that,

but not at, he started in Daytona Beach. And when I was in high school in Florida, I was not that far from Daytona. So like when you would watch local news, they'd be like local old freshman, Vincent Carter, and then they would show him do like reverse fucking double punch on people. You're like, oh my God.

This is so stupid. And then he transferred up to that school. But it was fucking. We had Kobe in our area. Kobe. Really? We caught him had a play against Kobe in a summer league. And it was just like, yeah. He's like, dude, my cousin against Kobe in a summer league and was just like, yeah, he's like

dude, my cousin was really good too. And he was just like dude, it was just, he's a freak and he just felt like crazy. Yeah. I've never seen a kid in high school like we went to the gym and we like the high school gym and that this was like at this big high school in Milwaukee suburbs. You know, we all played high school. We all played basketball in middle school. So we're like, let's just go to the gym here. And this kid does the cup, he cups them all here.

And then he goes like that. And then we were like, what the fuck? We have to go home. Like, yeah, we're not playing basketball at all. Yeah. Yeah, it was. Kedda mean just kicked in. Yeah.

I have to go home. I'm gonna just. I'm gonna sit. Yeah, give me a blanket. Give me a lay down for 45 minutes till these guys leave. I didn't know you got stuck on the cat. I got stuck, I was in a K-hold, dude.

It was the most embarrassing shit possible. After getting beat up all day, I took it to the next level. You processed, though, you processed. You took it to the next level, dude. You processed the fuck. They gave me pizza hut. They were like, you need something to eat. I was like, this is the best pizza I've ever had. They were like you need something to eat

Like this is the best pizza I've ever had like this is disgusting. It's disgusting shit. I was like it's so good Save your life did Drop me back ground as your body your spirit body need to be grounded with like fat and grease just back Coming down for cat is sobering up and just be like, what a fucking embarrassment. Why would I do drugs? I know I can't do drugs. I just did I wasca and did you really? Yeah, the baked the baked the chalk like the cook.

So you don't have to go through the vomiting that area. They they cook it down into these try doesn't taste good. Yeah, it's way better than the authentic version. And I'm so fucking stupid that everyone I've told so they're like, what are you fucking retard? Like I ate it at night, I was like, I ate it before bed. I'm like, it'll help me go to bed. I was just like wanting to feel a buzz

and then I was like, wait. In bed I was like, I was just like, it was too strong. It was just, I was like, just on a whim. life? It was too strong. Wait, was it just Ayahuasca just on a whim? Yeah, like 11 o'clock at night. I thought you were like with a shaman, like having a guy do. No, here's the thing, the shaman gave it sent it to me with instructions.

I didn't read them. I didn't look. I read them the next day and they were like, go into this with intention and like, you know, I just ate it and I was just in bed like, what the fuck, I need to, I shouldn't be on tour this much. Like I just, like it was fucking, it was like D&D basically forever.

I look over at the clock and it's like four and I'm like, oh, like I'm not gonna sleep at all tonight. Oh my God. That's like insane. Yeah, it was stupid. How long did it last? I lost the chocolates now. I think I went to I went to bed around 6 a.m. You know, I slept like two hours and then got it. But I mean, I was whacked and changed. I fucked up. Yeah.

And then everybody was like, why would you? Why? I was like, I just got it in my head because I had these like edibles that were like I was like I eat one of these and go to and I was out I was like I just eat the eye of was I was so fucking out of my mind. I have that Molly in my room that someone who is me Yeah, yeah, and they're just burning a hole in my pocket. Yeah, I just look at them every night I'm like I should just hang out and pick Molly. I'm so afraid to do it. Really? I've done it before and it's great,

but just doing it on like basically a school night. Yeah, that's insane, dude. I would just sit here and play a video game and it's coming though. Yeah, I get scared. I do get scared. Do those go bad? I don't think so, no. It's just like a crystalline form. So I guess forever. I get scared. I do get scared. Do those go bad? I don't think so, no.

It's just like a crystalline form. So I guess forever. I get scared when things kick in on me, I'm like, oh fuck here comes. It's like, I know, that sounds terrifying. I was good when you weren't, obviously you weren't quite sure of what it was gonna do. I, well, here's the thing,

and I had a guided experience before. Okay. Where that one was cool with the shaman, and that was, you know, a whole thing where it was like a whole day of that. Yeah. But they were like watching you and you know, so you knew what you're getting into that. I just got it was just like when your brain goes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just being stupid. I was just I've done it with edibles where I just like him all like impulsively be like,

engolve them up and then like, have to go to like a kids party and I'm like, what? Why did I do that? I feel like kicking it. I didn't even know I ate it. Yeah, you just tell yourself, it won't affect me like that.

Like it does normally. Yeah, I'm in a different place now. I think I'll just flow with it. Matt used to make edibles. We were, I said, he would test them out on me sometimes. Yeah. And yeah, I would forget, I sometimes yeah and yeah I really I would

get I a I'd make like thousands of yeah he wasn't the dosage wasn't precise the really split now it's like coconut oil so like the water's the fat the skizzlers are not this is not yeah almost blue are catching up I was making like an ever-clear tinctured I was just boiling on the stove on a gas stove like like an idiot. Ever so lightly and it's like, I was playing like a film for Jay. I was just sitting there on like a folding chair in front of a shitty TV, a giant flame. Matt's panic skills are out of control. The fire starts, he's like,

I wrote in circles when I panic. My panic, I just wrote in a circle like an animal. It's bizarre. He saw me, I cut my fingers and say anything. I was squirting blood out of my finger. And I said, ran in circles, it's going, he's like, dude, dude, you got to get on. Okay, take me, please.

I do not hate you. I freak. Yeah. Yeah, that's, yeah. But yeah, I'm off the editables right now. I've been picking easy on them. Yeah, I was picking out for decades What's your like so as you're are you like a roller joint guy? Are you yeah smoking weed? I can smoke it. I'm like you're fine. Yeah, if I eat it I get fucking I can't I can't even tell when you're

High yeah, if I so I'm not really I can tell when you're fucking very high. Yeah, yeah, but if you're like a little high I have no no, it's like a lazy lam easy. You can see it. Yeah, true like right if you're like a little high, I have no, no, it's so I can tell. It's like a lazy, lameasy, you can see it. Yeah, true. Like right now I can see his eyes, he's not high. I'm not high, right? Yeah, yeah. So I'm straight now. Yeah.

Not that I'm, I'm not high, he just comes in. I'm a very obvious tell, I think. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't hide it at all. Wait, so what was the bedtime ayahuasca experience like? It was just you.

The, it what happened? Does it see anything? No, well, here's the thing is like, at first when it comes, when it first comes on, it does feel like an edible is hitting you because it's just kind of starting. So like in other words, like you go, okay, I feel a little buzz starts a little bit of a body high.

Put your night cap on, you're like, you know, like, good. This is gonna be nice. I'm just gonna fall asleep now, you know? And then your brain's like, here's things that you shelve. For sure. Oh.

Ugh. And then, but there's the thing, and then you start to feel it. Late in bed that happens anyway. Yeah, that's true. But you see it's probably like, it's magnified. But also on top of that, a lot of physical,

like your whole body starts vibrating. And so you're just kind of like, oh shit. And then the thoughts just kind of grow. And it wasn't panic. It's not like, you know how you can get paranoid on like a really strong, it's not like that. But you just kind of start ruminating and thinking about things.

And there's no way to switch it off. But also, in a way, it's kind of nice because hours go by and you're not like, I wish this would end. You're just kind of like lost in your thoughts and whatever you're thinking about. But you're physically, I remember at one point, I was like, oh, I can't get up right now.

Like I'm too high to stand up, you know? And I look over and it's like three. And I was like, ooh, I'm just gonna, I think I need to pee. I'm just high to stand up. And I look over and it's like three. And I was like, ooh, I'm just gonna... I think I need to pee. I just get pissed. I'm just gonna piss in this bed. Yeah, I piss my pants. Yeah, I piss in the bed.

Nice. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, something will clean it up. Piss in the bed is a nice feeling. I pissed one time in the bed when I was 17. Did you really? I, you know, it hadn't happened since childhood and I remember waking up and being like,

coming from like a vivid dream where I pissed in the dream. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, you've gotta be fucking shitting me. I couldn't believe it. I was so mortified that I just flipped the mattress over. Like I can move. It is embarrassing. So it just sheets off, flip the mattress and that was it. If I piss, I'm obviously I just flipped the mattress over. Like I can move. It is embarrassing. So it just sheets off, flipped the mattress, and that was it.

If I piss, I'm obviously I'm just shit faced. Yeah. Haven't done it a while, praise a lot. But when you go to the beach or something, it's fun to just piss your pants before you get in the water. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? Awesome.

It's a great feeling. Yeah, it's a good feeling. It is nice. You piss your pants. Didn't you just piss your pants as a fucking experiment the other day? I Wasn't experiment I was drunk and I had to drop a bike off and it was warm. It was nice. Oh you did it recently Yeah, like two months ago. I think I'm not doing your mental breakdown You were just like I think that was it you just standing outside and you're like I'm a piss right here

No, wait you pissed twice. What was it? You get a outside and you're just like, I'm a piss right here? No, wait, you pissed twice. What was it? You get a one time at a low point in his life, you had a psychotic race. The low point was it, a Walmart, right? Yeah, you're like, Walmart. You're standing in Walmart? Yeah, I was working and I wanted to see if anybody would know

and I just pissed, nobody knew. I was like, Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. I'm just standing in a pool of piss. No, I was just, I was just, I was just, I trialled it. Okay, okay, I ruined my pants. of piss? No, I was just, I was just, I trialled it. It ruined my pants.

Okay, okay, okay, I ruined my pants. I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants,

I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants,

I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the pants, I was just sitting in the snacks, anything else snacks and stuff. You were handing out snacks and you just stood there and pissed yourself. Not a snack. My shift was over and I was like, all right, okay. I can walk over. I just stepped on him. He's fucked up.

He sat at the himself before the wall. It's so crazy. No reality testing. You were deep in inception. No, I was mad. At your spinning top. It's just a way crazier story. I mean, this drugshed, we're talking. That's so weird.

Just standing in Walmart pissing. What was the latest piss? The latest one. You promised me you never do it again. I'm not. I was drunk and I had to drop off a city bike. I had to drop off a city bike. I dropped off a city bike.

And I had to go home, but it needed me to take a picture of the city bike. So I had to walk back to the city bike and I filled up with piss so quickly and I took a picture and I had to make a choice It was like either piss my pants are like who your pants are I'm piss Yeah, I'm in a school though. Who's a kid school? I could I'm in a school time wasn't it? It was me Yeah, you can piss. Yeah, but you get the pito charge. They can I mean, yeah, I guess hours. Yeah

The kids so wait did you just you just stood there and pissed? Did you just let a little bit of pressure off that one? I full pissed No, it was a huge If you went in my socks, it was in my shoes. Well, shoes you wear Uh, definitely Not the other shoes, you know, I got different shoes that I got different shoes You lie and do them. You know, I do I don't believe that pissing from a school thing.

No, he's constantly you go. Yeah. If you get caught with that, they're fucking, you were doing something. Yeah, that's true. And then you're like, no, I was just taking a put. It's like, no, that's a fair point actually. You were doing something else.

Or you just thought, like, or if you're like really talking shit to a cop about it, that's, that's how that got you. Yeah, true. If you're hammered. Your hammered like what are you gonna fucking do pussy? Well, you're a pedophile now. Nice badge pig. You dumb ass. Now you're peeing. Now you gotta go door to door. Yeah, so many people leave that out that they leave out like they're like one of my friends always talks. I've been with them talking. I'm like what are you doing? He's like fucking cops are dicks like that you you were a day Yeah, you always start shit to that. Lewis Gomez story is

He did that to a cop he did you was picking up he was picking up His sister from the airport with a new dog. They his sister to fly to pick up a dog A puppy that he was getting the kids So he's in the car in the a puppy that he was getting the kids. So he's in the car in the waiting line at the airport with the kids and the cop comes up and it's like, you got to move, you got to keep him moving. You can't just park here. And he was like, fuck you. Right. He just was like, right me a ticket, dude, I'll pay the ticket. I don't give a shit. I'm sitting right here. And the guy went back and ran

his plates and he had to warrant. And he got the car and bound it. Really? He was on the spot. So he had to stand there with he got the car and bound it. Really? On the spot. So he had to stand there with a new puppy and his crying kids. They took his car. But they didn't take him? No, they just took his car. We're like, yeah, pretty funny. Life stopped him.

Yeah. Lewis is the best. Yeah, I love. Now that everyone hates cops, I love cops now. Obviously. I was excited to get pulled over. I never had a, my wife was a cop for a while. Big, she was?

Yeah, briefly. And now I love cops. Yeah. It's funny. I met a lot of them. So now like I've talked to them, I like when they pull you over, it's fun to chat them up.

They grow just, I can't believe what you do. It's crazy, man. They're letting you right off. You got that haircut too now. I got the cop cut. Yeah, you got it. I got pulled over, I got pulled over by cops leaving our billies

and they thought I was undercover. Oh yeah, yeah, the cops in. The cops thought I was an undercover cop so they were like, pull over, we got a chat. I looked like a cop that much. They pulled me over and I was like, what the fuck did I do wrong? You were probably dressed like a kid who went

to high school to buy drugs. Yeah, you're just brutal. They pulled me over and the guy goes, three, six, nine. And I was like, damn things fine. I thought he was, I swear to God. I thought he, I thought he said a yin yang twin lear. You guys two, six, nine. Damn things fine.

You're like, no, we thought you were not a good one. You're like these cops are doing Yeah, damn things fine. Damn things fine. That is so fucking I Always had a cop face and cop hair. We look like three cops. Yeah, we do Yeah, we do American on the fucking ground With him. You should have been doing together

We're gonna restaurant where they on sunset and sunset has this part that's a track. So there's always hose and Pimps walking around and they I'm like 22. Yeah, like short short hair and just like, I don't know, this fucking face. And some of them would order, because they'd order like lemonade and sandwiches and I'd go, here you go, and they go, thanks officer, I go. And they just turn around. You were the bigger back then. Actually, at that age, I wasn't big yet, but they were just like.

It's the bigger you get with the cop face. Yeah, then they go. The triples, they're like like this is a seasoned veteran. Yeah You don't look like you've been sitting in a patrol car. No, I got big I got big I'm class 487 you know me recruit damn things five six on three six nine damn sure he's fine You guys wanted to hear me say some you Over to ask me a rap lyric Yeah, it was who are the I know your big history got right? Oh, yeah, so what a what I mean?

Custer and that's you this is us grant. That's Grant. Yeah, it's been a grants farm. No, I've been there really cool I mean bend to his tomb and it's right here. What? Yeah. He's in New York. He's buried in New York, yeah. Great's farm's wild and Missouri. Yeah.

It's impressive. I'd like to go. What happened while you were there? Tell us about it. So I was dating somebody in the Anahezer Bush family and they own that property. What? They own Grant's name. What? They own grants. What was his name?

His name was Phillip. Phillip and lots of bullshit. Yeah, so lots of beer and lots of gay shit went down. I fuck so many guys there. What a dream. No, they had like a, so they have have like his actually like you see where he was born I think on that farm and so they have that property and then it's just like it's also it's it's only something that could somebody could have that they

Built and established at like the turn of the century because it's like in St. Louis Oh, I mean like it's not like oh go out, it's like it's right there. I feel like it's hundreds of acres. And you know, the bush people made it like, there's like, they loved animals or August did. So there's like, you know, it's like a zoo, like a private zoo. And then, and then it's just like viewed,

like you know, streams and you feel like you must be out in the country really not. You know, that's nice. That was how Mount Vernon was. Really? They have, like, they have all the original animals, which is pretty sick. Yeah, they really? Yeah, like, these are the cows they had from the...

But does this, like, he means something to you? No, I just like him. You just like him, yeah. I'm a fan. You're a fan. Yeah. You fan? I just got into the World War II series.

The Ken Burns? No, I don't know if it's his or not But it's so good on Netflix. Oh In HD or in color the one in color. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's awesome. I was ripping through that thing. Yeah World War Two Yeah, fucking cool. That's my favorite world. My wife was like you're really an official dad now It's sitting at night. Yeah, World War Two shit. I mean, there's nothing else to watch. This is how it happens. Yeah. Try to watch something like this is, although I watched, I watched the new alone series.

What's that? Where they go out of the woods. And it's 10 people in the woods and see who can stay long. Yeah. Makes you want to, makes you want to build a shelter. The greatest thing about like a good World War Two or any more dark. They're nice.

I'll just say. Oh, there was a guy out there that was such a cock sucker. I'm aware. On a loan. He's sitting there. He's like, I'm not ruffin' it. You're ruffin' it. Sitting there on the couch doing nothing.

I'm out here challenging myself. The whole time he's doing all this shit. Oh. His bitch has had to go home, dude. I was sitting on the couch just like, yeah, well, he was talking to the viewer. He was talking to the couch. Did he get it?

He was talking to the viewer. He was talking to the shit to the viewer. Yeah, he was talking to the camera. He was talking to to the viewers. He was talking shit the whole time. He was like, I got it. He was doing all that fucking wellness shit. He was like releasing dolphins out here in the wild. All this. Why is that?

Why is that? Just like a survival shit, though. Yeah. What tapped him? He ran out of food. They all ran out of food. Yeah, true. Yeah.

He just starved. I was sitting there eating trisks. I have a good time Like who doesn't run it because the winner obviously like how do they not run one guy one guy snag the fucking moose Early what a moose a moose one guy one guy stabbed the yack to death what he's point a yak on camera on camera bro like running like Stabbing a fucking yack I would really stuff that guy's dick in the woods and be like, bro, we're together.

Yeah, I find out. Yeah. I mean, I do. Take me. He starts slow by just like touching his leg. Yeah. You do a sweet boy. Yeah, I've never had moves before.

Guy, guy got a moose and then he had to fight off Wolverines. What? He killed a Wolverine with a hatchet in the middle of the night. Fuck yeah, because the Wolverines are dead all the way. Where's this on? Like Northern Canada. Where do you see it? Like, uh, there's a season on Netflix. It's on Netflix. Yeah. This season on Netflix, they're just, it's nothing too exciting. They're just killing beavers. Pretty tight. But on this one, I did kill the yak. A guy, that one season, yeah, got killed a yak where the yak's like wounded and he has to run

and like stab it and keep running. And then do they actually like, a guy is literally sitting in his cabin in the middle of the night and he hears the Wolverine who have been getting all those things. He's like, these motherfuckers. He's even grabbed a hatchet and go out into the dark and kill a Wolverine.

Jesus. Where the hatchet. He's like, I got it. And then he just lays back down. It's like, good God. And when he's, when like, when the guy kills the moose, do they dress it and like prepare it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then he knows he cooked it over a fire. Yeah, God. And he's like, I gotta do it fast. It's too much meat for me to, yeah, make jerk here. Yeah. It's cool. They're all really good at it. All right.

Something new to check out. It's good. It's good. It's good season. It's fine Yeah, no throat. I wasn't totally thrilled with the message. God. I'm fast forward through all their backstories So that's where they try to get you all right, right? You got to watch them. They're like I miss my wife and say Yeah, I want to see you kill an animal What's he who starved to death? So I have to think about my life before I go to bed. Yeah, it makes you hungry.

The show makes you sure. Hunger you say that I should eat. Yeah, they kill animals that cry when they kill the animal. They're like, I love this squirrel. Thank you squirrel. Yeah, just my squirrels the whole fucking time. You have to honor it. Yeah, they are.

Yeah, I've killed a squirrel. You killed a squirrel. Yeah, yeah once squirrels the whole fucking time. You have to honor it. Yeah, they are it. Yeah, I've killed a squirrel Yeah, we were shooting with bad we would shoot him with be It's pretty fun though when you hit him what sucked is when they're down, but you're still still like yeah, fuck man Yeah, we maimless die. Yeah, yeah, hurt them Yeah, anyway, yeah You did you've done a horrific thing. You got the rock on a bird. Yeah. You caught the bird slipping then. You get two birds. I got what? Squish the frog. He's done all types of shit. It was in a bag already. So I just squeezed it. He squeezed the frog once.

I was just running because a kid a camp called it was trying to keep it and he his retarded ass walked up and was just Kid came back to his frog He's probably can't keep frogs in bags But I tell people is like if you catch a frog don't put it a bag. They fucking explore The far we have like killing animals for fun and pissing in stores Crazy dude. No, he's real like you know that's fucked up, right? Yeah, yeah, I killed a lot of animals and also little bro It's not a big deal. Are you from here? No, I'm Detroit Detroit. Detroit, okay. Is that water?

I like the way you answer questions. Like you're never sure. Yeah, I'm from, no, I'm from Detroit. Yeah. Like you're remembering what witness protection told you to say. Detroit, right? Michigan? Oh, man.

I'm from the Detroit Lions. Nice. Yes. I think we've done it. Yeah. I think that's a podcast. That's a good podcast man. I think that's one.

Thanks for doing that. Yeah. Thanks for doing it man. Absolutely. You guys should have me. Yeah. Special. Sledgehammer.

Sledgehammer on Netflix. Check it out. The music alone. Wonderful music. Can I tell you something man? Yeah. Yeah, special sledgehammer sledgehammer on Netflix check it out. They go much alone wonderful music Can I tell you something in yeah, I fucking I Had that thing where they go do you want to do stock cuz I've done that where they're like you want the music to play And they give you some stock shit or like or do you want to write checks? Yeah for like big songs and I was like Let's fucking do it with sledgehammer. Did you walk out to that song on tour? No, never never you got your Gabriel sledgehammer?

Yeah. And then I got, I got Gangstar. Now you're mind-to-close. Yeah, that's a nice one. So that's two cars, about two cars to fuck it up. Have music on them. Yeah. Good.

But here's the thing. I actually feel like it's one of those things where you go. It adds value to the whole experience. Like, you know, like you hear those songs and you're like, fuck, yeah. Yeah. It's really good to taxes anyway. So it's like you hear those songs and you're like fuck yeah. Yeah Yeah, it's gonna go to taxes anyway, so Yeah, give it to someone else go yeah, give it to Peter Gabriel He was a great now I gotta pay the fuck

Now I'm paying the gum All right go check out sledgehammer. Thank you. It's on Netflix All right. Go check out the sledgehammer. Thank you. It's on Netflix.