Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 452 - Heinie Burp Culture

Episode Date: July 13, 2023

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com HELLO. Here we are. Just the D.A.W.G.Z. catchin' up. What a blessing! This cast is very hot tbh. I think you guyz are going to like it. Please enjoy. God bless you all.  Get 10% off & free shipping at https://magbreakthrough.com/mssecretpod and use promo code DRENCHED This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try for 10% off your 1st month at betterhelp.com/mssp & get on your way to being your best self Support the show by going to sheathunderwear.com and use promo code DRENCHED to get 20% off your first order.

My gosh, oh we're live. Yeah, Gardini hot Mike does Gardini Finally, I was taking my clothes off dude. He hot Mike to and I had to put on the Versace dude How could you tell you where anything else? I'll be honest man. I bought this as a as a bit before Before the UFC fight. Yeah, I felt like a fucking moron the whole time all night I thought I saw the picture. I said that looks so good on you. I felt I mean now you see it in person. How's it look? Great. I think it sure looks great on you. I think you're nothing but Versace. How do you say how do you pronounce it? Versace. Versace. No. I say I can't even pronounce nothing.

Is that for say no? I think it's Versace. Yeah. But I felt like a real dumbass. Why? And then I was sitting, because I was just definitely. Would you buy Enicocino or you out? There's shops at Caesars, Palace, right? Isn't that what it's called? It's kind of cool though. That's like a gold brick.

You could literally trade that shirt and have sex with a lady. A prostitute. But you could, at any point, give her the shirt off your back. No, I'm shirtless. and leave a nut on her. You could trade this for one ejaculation. That's not bad though. Just walking around with a, and that's not just an ejaculation, that would be, that would be a thigh squeeze

or just, yeah. What have I done? You're going to college with this right? You're sad to see your beautiful. I tell you what I felt like wearing this sitting there drinking a beer, looking like a fucking idiot. And people were, because we were sitting, I was in Rogan, gave me the CT sit like, so I'm right there on the cage. And people are sometimes against where I'm sitting, getting the ship beat out of

them. At the beginning, there was a guy looking at me. He was like, a guy was on his back. And he was distracted. He's not thinking about me. He's thinking about what he's doing, but his eyes were just locked on me while he was getting like strangled against the cage. But I'm just sitting there like, and I thought,

you know that scene in Apocalypse, though, whether the guy's about to get his heart ripped out. He looks up and just sees a fat kid dressed. He looks up and sees that fat baby just. I felt like the fat baby from Apocalypse, the entire time. He felt terrible. You're the last, you should have been fucking

that was me. That was me. Yeah, I should have started screaming. I should have started screaming orders. Yeah, you get his left leg. Extend your right arm. It's all it is. It's Twister the whole time.

People are just, you know, everybody in the arena thinks they're a coach. Yeah. And like, you've got it. Now move your right arm. Shriff, shoulder, shriff. Yeah. Everyone's doing that the whole time.

Yeah, there's guys just randomly like, stand, go, sprawl, sprawl. You think they absorb, there's people to absorb the tap out shirt. Yeah, they're in there They become it and they're behind like railings, which is really funny to be like 30 yards away behind a railing screaming out orders to a guy Just getting shows who's getting choked to death. Well, then if he gets out. It's like D heard me. Yeah, he heard me I told him to do this. Yeah, so the dude's a good hockey games and he'll shoot Shoot Holy shit, he let's do exactly what I say. Hey, Johnny scored. I told you I could be out there and Reeboks with this guy making hundreds of thousands I should get out there that is cool

They should have one guy who has nothing to do with the fight who just comes up to you and just fucking squeezes you after you win. Oh, just let one guy into the ring a professional hugger Yeah, nothing to do with the fight. I know some guys that are pretty good at that really there's a whole community of them Down syndrome guys Get those boys hugging in the ring after you get tan of them in there. Oh It's like baby. We done it, like balloons at the end of a concert. It's just a release of thousands of them. Ah, I mean the place would go wild. The place would go wild.

It would have been lads in the bros, they're going insane. Oh my god. And then you don't even know who's who, because then you go out and amissed of your fucking... The Acolyte. The Acolyte's come out. All your devil's devils come out and then you just disappear.

And Rogi's is going, where the hell do you go? I'm gonna make a move. Back to the fucking mountain. He's back to the misty mountain. Back to mountain limp. We all been duped again. Ha ha ha ha. There's just a Versace shirt on the ground.

Like, where the hell do you go? You've had it. Oh man, that was, that's awesome. I gotta say that was probably the craziest, coolest weekend I think I've ever had. How was the show? Thursday sucked. Yeah.

Friday was great. You're going right back to fucking, back to another paradise in land. Yeah, we're like, this is like the underworld of Las Vegas. Yeah. This is truly without the glitz glamour. This is just a Vegas. Yeah, it's just truly without that's only This is just the voice. Thank God. It's just one day one day and now

but Yeah, I mean Donald Trump true. That was pretty sick What it was is it was his whole vibe his vibe was just Complimenting every single person that came up to him with no knowledge of who they were was just complimenting every single person that came up to him with no knowledge of who they were. You just say you're doing great, you look great. Wow, you look great.

That was it. That's all he said. I didn't have to. I was also, I got pushed by secret service. I went, like, so I sit with Jamie and Jamie was like, dude, you got to get a picture. You got to get a picture. I was like, I can't, dude. I can't walk over there and get embarrassed like standing in line like

Please yeah, and of course that's exactly what happened the first attempt. What yeah, I got I had to sit back down and everyone's like Nice shirt. Wait how did you how'd you try to how'd you try to? Because he was sitting on he was like to the left of the cage I was on this side and I was trying to trying to we weasel my way in there, but he's surrounded by secret service. Damn, how hard was it? How hard was it? How hard was it? Not hard, but it was enough, like, what are you doing? Yeah. The guy came out, was like, you can't, you definitely can't be on the bed.

You can't see the secret service for life? Yeah, I think so. What? Yeah. That's kind of cool. But it was like fucking Bill Clinton still have secret service everywhere all the time. Yeah. Definitely. Damn. Right? like fucking Bill Clinton still have secret servers everywhere all the time. Yeah, definitely.

Damn. Right? Yeah, I would think so. Yeah. What about like, how far can you go back? Who's like, I guess, the Jimmy Carter just died. Thanks, though.

That guy's still going. Yeah, I think someone assassin. He died. No, he's dead. I think he just died. JC's dead or he's dying. No, he's dying. Well, he's probably dying because he's 98 years Yeah, he is dying

We're gonna have to do Madonna's he's still going to go that Jesus Christ Madonna is dying dude you see Madonna's they hit Madonna has like a blood infection and the picture in the news and they talked about her blood infection. They used that picture from two years ago where everyone made five. For some reason all the newspapers use that picture. It looks like a wet fish. She's fucking insane dude. Her face is soaked. She's so wet looking. I don't want to make fun of a dying woman. No, it's just so funny. She's not, I don't think she's dying, but I think she was like severely critical, like in like critical condition. Yeah.

And every newspaper told the story and then flashed the air. He's like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, I think she is. Isn't she? Yeah, you can't get so much. If I was in a shark cage and she swam by me, I would have. Oh. Say, yank, the the fucking you'd be like get it up Get us out of here, dude

Yeah, she has yeah, she's got enough surgery. She's deep sea organism I'm gonna see her with one of those submarines. I mean, that is, that's such a nice dragon of chase. You get that first surgery and you're like, oh my God, it's all in my hands. I can be anything. I can, this is, I look great. Then you pick out, you look like a fucking wombat. You're like, what the fuck?

Dude, people lose their plastic surgery, so fucking funny. Because it's just like a tattoo cover of a artist. The guy's like, I'll take $40,000 off you. Here's what we're gonna do. And you're like, ooh, they're like, fuck off $40,000 of you. Here's what we're gonna do. And you're like, they're like fuck off. Sorry.

But the last guy fucked us. He did a, he used a three inch fucking stand on your nose. Yeah, oh my God. Yeah. You just gotta be like, no, you look good. They're like, true. Really? Yeah.

I did a good job. Everybody's lying. You look hot as fuck. All right, thanks. You walk outside. You're like, damn it. Yeah, picture. Did a good job everybody's lying you look hot as fuck All right, thanks you walk outside like damn it. Yeah, picture. It's lying to me But yeah got the Donald dude, how'd you end up getting it? How'd you strike back on them? The secret service started to They're like all right, dude. We'll get you. Oh, I think I'm gonna get it done. We'll find the exact perfect they're like, go, go. Now's your chance. You got to go. I was like, all right, this is it.

I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. And Jamie was like, you got to go. You had to go. And then finally, Rogan turned around. I was like, fucking, you got to go, dude. Yeah. Yeah.

That's awesome. Got a quick pick. Got the fuck out of there. How neat just say he's complimented you. Yeah, he just said, you look great. How's everybody? That's all right. No, I did.

Oh, my mom's doing good. My mom and dad are at home. My sister. Hahaha. I don't know until he's like, get out of here. No, I didn't even think about posting that picture. Why? I don't know.

I was probably like, People were mad about it. Why? He would be mad. I posted it and I think people were like, What the fuck? Like, you know, there's no way. Dude, it was a couple of people were like,

What the fuck? I was like, I thought it was clearly funny. Like, people like- When a Versacee T-shirt with Donald Trump. Yeah, it seems like the funniest person. Your instincts are correct. I knew it was right. I mean, dude.

I like didn't even consider it. And then I got back and somebody texted me, it was like, proud of you, dude, fuck all that. Post it, who, I was like, oh shit. Oh, there was like people being angry. Somebody was like, privately supporting me. And I was like oh shit. Oh, there was like people be somebody was like privately supporting me and I was like I didn't even consider that it was a Thing that would matter dude is not 2016 yeah, 2020 23 yeah, and like what yeah, it's crazy. Yeah

Yeah, bro, that's anyway shit that so this Dude if someone's hating on you with the 45th president of Versace shirt Sounds like them them prom bro. That's a big time It's funny to see that be like well here's where he went wrong with it's like no no With the literally just the last president in a Versace shirt rings side. It's like oh man. Yeah, maybe maybe that maybe he's turned The fuck you on to something flip the eyeballs back Well, here's what I would have thought yeah, I would have said fuck you. Yeah, no you wouldn't yeah I would have wearing a potato sack and been like fuck you

I'm donating all my money to charity Yeah, that's shit's fucking weird. Yeah, it was also that it's a tortured existence though to just be like to just check something and be like He shouldn't have done that. Yeah, dude. That's insane. I know I suffer from it. Yeah, I To pay the piper to wow had to sit next to Goggins the entire fight. Oh, do you see him? Oh week? I sat with him the whole time Did you really? Yeah? He's probably the fucking man. Yeah you really? Yeah, it was cool. He's probably the fucking man. Yeah, you were.

We were pro-Goggians to be true. We recounted the thing. I did. I have been critical. I think I feel like what boats? Yeah, oh, he's always like, I'm gonna go to the fucking boats. It's like you're training.

You didn't read his ad about autobiography. No, I didn't read it. Yeah, he didn't let the boat drop. Everyone was letting the boat drop, but how can he? And he said he got up in the guy's face and was like, oh, no, the guy is. I was wrong. Yeah, he didn't he didn't let the boat drop the everyone is let the boat drop But how can he said he got up in the guy's face was like oh, no, the guy is I was wrong dude. He is the man I do I honestly I watched that and I was like I Was just I was going all right Crenshaw's got beef with the Goggins. He's about to expose Goggins and I went Not convinced yeah, Crenshaw got Crenshaw kind of got beat dude and Goggins has on his podcast

He has a dude who has to respond motherfucking to everything. How many times like 22 motherfucking times? Thank you. Yeah. It's so funny. He is real intense. I went in there just completely like I don't care who wins this battle and I went at the battle goes to Gog against yeah, yeah, stuff kept coming out The new weird Jocco's the reigning Yeah, I know I had truly no dog in that fight and I just wanted to see Navy seals have become influencers. Oh, it's too This funny fucking trajectory That'd be it's a funny fucking trajectory.

That'd be, it's a scary enemy though. I mean, it just, you could be sitting there like, God, I'm so fucking mad at Crenshaw. And it's like, I could shoot him from 700 yards away. Yeah. I could sneak into his neighborhood. I don't know what it is. True. Like, where were you?

Like, oh, I was a mile away. I would rant and rant. I'd joke. 40 miles. You never gonna find my car. I just fucking, were you? Like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh Adesanya came by us and started they just immediately started doing push-ups Directly in front of me. I was just again fat Aztec baby. You should a fucking full fat Aztec baby They're doing push-ups. I was like That's pretty cool those guys are doing You gave resistance to both of them said all right. Yeah, that's what you guys think you're tough you guys are skinny little guys Let's see if we see some weight on you guys also those guys around You can a fuck beat his is these ass you flip them like a spatula bro I

would get take it that Aguilar boys me first that Aguilar boy he's 126 5 4 that fucking over here would have laid it on my belly, dude. I'm like, oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I'm not through it. Damn, that'd be so fun to be chasing someone over the border and you get them in the rat tail just amazing. They're like lizards, it goes back.

It goes back quick, dude. If you're Border Patrol, you grab a rat tail, I think it goes back, though. It's a defense, it's a defense mechanism. It's one of the things you get to rat tails. So defense, defense, it's mechanism. I don't know how to make me do that, Rat Tails. Oh, that's fucking funny. So last thing you see, you go, goddamn it. Damn it, he got away. There's another false Rat Tail.

Yeah, getting strangled in front of Donald Trump has to blow in the ring. Someone's got you by the neck. You're just looking around. You see him just like. I didn't see him smiling like constantly at you as you lose consciousness. Would fucking kill me. Oh, this was funny. At one point, Jamie noted it, we saw him.

He was standing, talking to Dana, and then Dana sat down. They were both standing next to each other. He was talking, but not looking at him. So then when Dana sat down, he was still talking and he caught himself, mid-sentence, talking to no one. It was very funny to see Donald Trump like,

wow, look at that. Like he realized no one. It was very funny to see Donald Trump like, wow, look at that. Like he realized that was the thing. Yeah. He was like, it was like he's on the phone. Yeah, you had to see him uncomfortable, he'd be like, oh, yeah. Probably never forget it either. No, I hope he like, in his head, he's like,

Dana's dead. I'm gonna try to ruin him now. I put my support for the UFC. Yeah, UFC's illegal in New York. Overall, it was great. Mel Gibson was right there. I didn't get to talk to the Fiora. I didn't get to talk to him.

Dude, it's all the right-wing beast. All the right-wing beast in one spot, dude. One of them was right there. I'm sure that one was somewhere. You think that one? No way. I was in there. You think that no way. I was there. You think so.

Probably the right wing beast festival. Yeah, I'm saying Malcolm Gladwell. Yeah, he's not a right wing beast. All right. Oh, oh, all right. That's a blink guy. Who's that? Who's the fucking man?

Who's British guy? Oh, we're talking about Douglas Murray. Oh, okay. That's what he was definitely looking for. He was there. He was like wow This is what a beautiful fucking city. I think Malcolm Gladwell was a guy who argue. Yeah, that he looks kind of curly hair. Yeah I saw a kid I saw a beach tag kid reading Gladwell's book blink and I almost stopped him was like throw that shit on the beach Now he we're sitting in like one of them one of them had usually sitting little chairs

But there's this one one beach like they let your kids sit in a hut, which is like it's kind of unfair to all the other kids But they were just as a girl does reading blink and I almost like went up to her like yo, she kicks in and if it's all sad Dude, okay that guy will totally lost the bear. I don't know if you saw the monk debate some at the BB and fucking It's all my favorite he fucking lost look like an asshole throw that book in the trash You should've showed it. I didn't I put that down at the beach with a YouTube It's too bright no one can see it and you should just held it up to her face. You can hear it. You can hear it I'm grace I'm Grace Galbro. Oh I've never even heard of that grace gal, baby. Is that an option on the phone? Yeah, you look at your phone and you just get instantly, like, the part of your brain

that gets excited for your cell phone gets, like, deflated and you go. Yeah. It's a pure tool. We'll see. If I have to do a screen recording, I'll switch it and I'll forget it for about two years. Yeah. Gracie hell is a move right now. I get zero excitement, dude.

You open your phone and go, Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah. It disappoints you every time you open it I was I literally watched eight hours of DJ Khaled videos on my phone for the I mean I've been flying the last couple days Just nothing but DJ Khaled and then I can't stop doing it. I can't stop doing don't bring out the whole ocean Can't stop the I scream. What video is this? He just keeps making videos where like, I'm gonna say possible to explain why it's funny. It's funny. He just says something dumb.

He's got this dumb voice that he keeps doing as a joke that everyone gets annoyed by that's around him, but it is funny. Yeah, it's funny. He's wearing like a green jumpsuit. He walks in front of the camera and just goes, call me asparagus. Call me asparagus. Call me asparagus.

That's it. That's the joke. Oh, it's nice. It's so good. I've seen him be funny and stuff. He can do it. No, he's hilarious. Yeah, his videos are unbelievable. Yeah, he started hamming it up in the video. He was going for the comic relief and he never stopped. Well, he also, I don't know. He kind of embraced it.

He became like, he did the We The Best. I think that was serious. He was We The did the we the best. I think that was serious He was we the best I think so and then he was just like I was fucking around. I know I was just joking dude. I know that sounds crazy to say We the best yeah, we the best music. I mean that kind of rules, but it works out. He's extremely funny Yeah, he did the damn thing so I was on that I was also forcing people to watch that there's a new Napoleon trailer There's a new Napoleon No, it's Joaquin Phoenix dude. Oh, I think you directly Scott dude. I've never been horny for a movie

It's fucking crazy. I've watched the trailer like seven times. What would you do to an early get an earlier lease? I would do anything I Can't wait for Thanksgiving. What would you do to get an early release? I would do anything. I can't wait for Thanksgiving. I would not trade the shirt. You pop it off. I can't get rid of the shirt. You gotta wear it every day. Yeah, it's coming out Thanksgiving, dude.

Don't bring your Thanksgiving. You got to do that's a great leave Thanksgiving early with the family and go watch your movie That's always a nice one and it's Napoleon. Oh my god. Yes Yeah, anyway, do yourself a favor go check out DJ cow'd and Napoleon trailer true. This Thanksgiving this Thanksgiving Remember this for months forget the summer yeah get out of the sun just hold us in your head this Thanksgiving the Polian Bonaparte Dude Get out of the sun and just hold us in your head this Thanksgiving the pulley and bonapart Dude, I'm excited. I'm excited about my shit Epic weekend you've been pure salt life dude. I've been so I'm a big I love salt life

But dude, I will I will tell you man having two little kids. It's not so much late diminishes salt It's not margaritaville as much. It's purely just like Conan the barbarian on the wheel It's not Margaritaville as much. It's purely just like Conan the barbarian on the wheel Just which I do I can't fully get into to just like walking in front of 200 people It might as well be a collar around my neck, dude. I just fucking Yo, my kids Through the hot sand my wife's like you need to flip flops. I'm like nah, it's not even that hot I'm like it hurts so bad. I take underneath to get the cooler sand as I walk. He has a little beach trick. It's funny, he says.

I was just watching, I was on the plane and I saw somebody watching Fox News. And there was just Fox, which was just running a thing of Joe Biden at the beach. He couldn't, him trying to carry a chair. It was like Biden can't carry a chair. That was his point. Then he's sitting down,

they're like Biden couldn't even take his shirt off. And not important. Then he's sitting down, they're like, Biden couldn't even take his shirt off and he's like sitting down struggling with it. And then it was him somebody, and it was like, Biden gets blasted by the sun. What was the ticker and he was like, it was just really fucking fun.

But it was everybody. He's fucking fought him for getting his son to go mad and get blasted by the sun. This guy's skin cells are dissolving from the radiation from the sun. I can's skin cells are dissolving from the radiation from the sun. What a fucking loser. Yeah, I mean, I was hoping one of you guys

to notice how tan I was. You are. You are. Yeah, dude, I'm fucking, my family's black. I'm a black family, bro. I told my mom that my mom was like, give me shit. I was with my and Chloe. She's like, did you put sunscreen on them?

I'm like, mom, we're black. We are all black now. Puzz off. We're black That's drick is I am the true African Yeah, my tan dude has been I've been trying to get pumped on it. You look good Thank you. I've been trying to get his tan as hell dude my one kid went from like Vagely tan my one kid's black now. Yeah, totally black. Black ass kids. Black ass. I'm like a black ass daughter. My one kid totally black.

I'm just trying to stay in the family. Yeah, you gotta stay in the family. I'm gonna like get on. I get on. If they're good, you gotta get you gotta get tan bro. I know because you're gonna look it's gonna look like a I know dude Although, I mean how cool is that though? Instant celebrity power status dude. I have a black kid. I think a full-on black kid You're Angelina Jolie. That's what I'm saying. I was telling Britney that. I was like dude total celebrity status

Who would have thought yeah, these guys saw it far and wide Who would have thought yeah, he's guy sought foreign wine Yeah, Bernie's been teasing me the whole time Was we walk I'll be like slugging like a wagon of two kids and Bernie's like look at your black baby and just you see people like Look at your black baby. You can get that tested now. I wouldn't hold it against. I'm like dude shot, shut the fuck up. That's really funny. It is very funny. Good for her. She does it all the time. And she goes, she goes, the other one looks like a Puerto Rican boy.

And everyone's like, ha ha ha. I'm like, see what he's doing. I'm like, ha ha ha ha ha. He's like a Puerto Rican boy over here. Don't bring out the black babies. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Man, this is my favorite thing to see you're talking to,

like a white lady in our neighborhood. And Brittany is like, yeah, my kid's over here looking like a Puerto Rican boy and the mom goes, yeah, I could see that. But yeah, so yeah, I've been just like carrying kids into the sun, getting fucking, I'm basically biting, dude. Just slugging things like a camel across the fucking dunes. Yeah, we were talking about that. The only way, the pack, the across the fucking dunes. Yeah, we were talking about that the only way the pack the pack there

Obviously sucks. Yeah, but you're like all right. I'm here for hours at least this is gonna be nice at the beach Yeah packing up to go back from the beach Well, they do the thing is you're there like there's no I have not dude I haven't sat in a beach chair the whole time you can't One will eat sand immediately. We'll just fucking shovel sand to the mouth, and then they both fucking run to the ocean. They were right to see, like fucking sea turtle, dude. They're done.

Straight to fucking sea. They didn't walk out to the sea. And I'll be honest, I let the sea. I've seen Moana too many times, like maybe it'll choose one of them. They both just got leveled by waves as soon as they walk out. I'm fucking.

Yeah, dude, it's been fun though. I've been taking my out to swim in the ocean. That's like the funniest shit in the world. It's gotta be awesome. Dude, just watching them buy, I like showed her how to like kind of bob over waves. I rode a wave in. I thought she'd be pumped. She could give a fuck, dude.

Yeah. I rode a wave in head above water, fucking eye contact. And she was just like, okay, can I go back out now? And I was like, yeah, I can go on. Oh, she sat your daughter down and said, I had her go with her mom. You hold. Yeah, go, go, say, go sit with your mom.

Poseidon, dude. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you broke in with the way. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you Navigated navigated through an Indian family deathly dude She just was like yeah cool can I go back in now? I can want to get back in But yeah, it's fun dude. There's like dude the beach now is international Jersey Beach was like it was white. There was no. Yeah, just this is what it was like and dude It is I haven't been there in years. I have my glorious return dude. It's fucking sick now

Dude engines full fucking full garments swimming. There's ladies in like dude, full fucking head wraps and serongs. Just like, dude, dude, now it's like I saw the Muslim babes now. They do it even better. The Indians are a little more like modernized and they'll have like jeans and shit on. Dude, the Muslim babes have this flowy garb and they lay in the tide with their fucking cell phones and just why their husbands beckon them they go, come on, come on, come in and do it every time their husbands jump away. They go, they jump away and then look back at their wives and go, otherwise

they're just like laying there. It's the funniest thing in the world. Oh, he jumps over. It looks, looks back at his wife, he goes, come on out. They just go, they just lay there, like, they say no. No, they won't, they like walked in way steep and they were at, they're terrified of the waves. They ran away.

Makes sense. Yeah, dude, the husband, this, it was, yeah, I saw him out of sea, saw me with my daughter out, like, we go out pretty far. And he was like, she's very brave. He got like really, saw me with my daughter out. We go out pretty far. And he was like, she's very brave. He got like really started close talking to her. I didn't know ocean post.

It was just a muscle dude in the G unit, wife here. It was a muscle dude in the G unit. It was like a weird cut wife here. Dude, it was crazy. He was being really friendly, but he had the most intense gaze. He's like, she's very brave. And I'm like you do all right dude She's not passionate about any of those causes to get out of here. I thought he's sizing her up. She was wearing a float vest Oh, no, it might have been like

Fitz well No, he's very friendly man Close talking at sea is fucking dude. He came like inches. That's scary. I was like what the fuck what is this guy? Yeah, it's fucking scared shit. You're touch feet because you're both it was dude He was that I kept like it's still be it's scary. It was it was touching anything on the water This guy had the most intense gaze and it was him and it was like Oh They were taking a call to Boko wrong

I can't. They were taking it. They were looking. I can call it a Boko-Rom. Boko-Rom. I can't call it a Boko-Rom. She's very brave. I was like, yeah, man. Very brave.

Very brave. The garb, just rocking jeans at the beaches. Oh, dude. The jeans are too funny. That's like Indian. These are the muslims. I was praying to God didn't clash. They could have clashed. The Hindus and the Muslims could have clashed.

I was like, look at the hands on some sticks. If there was any sticks down there, they'd start running. Yeah, the slap run. I was nervous all weekend. I said, I hope the Hindus and Muslims all clash with the beach. They could. No, it was just peace. Everyone, it was not, it was just peace. Dude, there's the, the lads were there, and they were blasting the lad music, dude,

and the youngest was dancing the lad music, dude, they were tickle-pink. I was even, I finally felt the fucking lad music. I never penetrated my soul. That music got to beach is probably pretty sick. Never penetrated my soul. That's when you chuck your fucking paper. They're the most, throw your pages straight out

to see it's crying at the time. Dude, I'm sorry, they might be the most salt life. Yeah. I would listen to that shit on construction sites and be like, this is fucking circus music. Yeah. This makes it it didn't move a single

cell in my body, dude. It's time to go to circus. It's a time and Jerry soundtrack. Yeah. I put it on and be like, what is this? You get out of beach and you're like, I started feeling it, dude.

My hips started to fucking just a little bit. I wasn't saying I was going, boom, it's fucking tight. I was in the sand, I was going, tum-pada-data. It's fucking tight. I think that's also UFC is a great, new, somebody come out to Mexican music, you're like, ooh.

Yeah, true. Somebody comes out to something cool. The forum, somebody comes out to like, many men by 50 cents a day, and that's awesome. Then you hear the fucking circus music, and you're like, holy shit. Who's this guy? He's getting pumped to this

Like what fucks on on it. Yeah, dude. I flew it. When's the last time you flew a kite Dude you're Zillorating. Yeah, you get that thing up there. It's tough to get up. I mean, I brought my whole family run Dude, I ran it with first we tried on a crowded beach on the hot like the hottest of the suns in the hottest sand And I failed to get a kite in the air. I thought the Indians probably walk straight over that dude Nothing like a hot calls nothing to them move over. Yeah, Indians walk on hot calls. Yeah, dude All right, if they just skitter across it like scorpions Yeah, dude. All right. If they just skitter across it like scorpions

No, they yeah, they're totally unfazed Dude, I was I was burning my feet in the hot sand trying to get a kite up in the air running around like people sitting No, I stayed to the campus at the back almost here in dunes But it's still I was just like the entrance of the beach running this thing and it's being like dude just fighting with You don't know everything about this. Cause you fool fucking kite. Let me try it my way. Failed to get it up in there. We had to go back.

I was like, this is too crowded. We got to go back. We came back later. Dude, I got this. I didn't know you're not supposed to let a kite, like I let all the string out. Yeah. I thought you were supposed to,

she's like, no, you're not supposed to do that. Dude, this thing was high as fuck. I sent a kite so fucking high in the air, I was like getting nervous. I was the fact that I was attached to something that high in the air. I was just like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I was so scared.

I was so scared dude. I could see how that'd be scared. They can fucking take off. When you were like, on the crowd of beach, you were like crashing your people, you're like, I'm so sorry. It was a kite crash, it's fucking hard. Probably starled some of those Muslims.

True, it was probably. What is that, dude? I wonder if the, you know how they always have flyovers at the beach? Maybe that in Jersey, people are gonna be like, right, they have a lot of fun. Oh, that's so funny. Yeah, dude, we, you know, I so badly wanted to cut the string

and just let that guy go free. It was so fucking high in the air. You sure? And I just sit there on, I don't really, why am I actually burning your wound up back, brought it back to Earth, I was like, I can't, I can't bring this thing back to Earth. It was, yeah, a parisaler get,

they release the parisaler. Really? Yeah, there's a guy, he's up too high on a storms coming and they're just like somehow He the rope breaks and he just he floats into the land He's gone. He's dead. He's too. I mean, I don't know if he died, but that he was on a parachute in a storm in Florida. Oh Jesus damn what they show him land or crash or no It's somebody from a hotel balcony filming. He's out at sea. Oh, he just Christ damn what have they show him land or crash or this? No, it's somebody from a hotel balcony filming. He's out at sea.

He just goes out. He goes out at sea. And there's like Jetsky's chasing him, like trying to figure out how to get him down. And then the rope snaps. He just floats over the hotel. Yeah. Dude, that's a power line station, dude. Yeah.

It's going right to shit way to fucking go. It's a very scary way to go anyway. Just being There's a huge party I got this I'm gonna survive this I just got a float right back down the ground It's like highways Truck dude I land right on top of that thing though. Did you live? Yeah, he survived what? Yeah, he's in the house But I found a video is him Sydney good. Yeah, all right name the man. Sydney good. Shout out Sydney did it

I mean fucking name drop city Did he go back and do it again? Recounts person yeah, five years later He went back and do it again Good call that that would be included in the article Matt That was just natural. That's crazy. That's crazy.

You do have a journalist's mind. I am not in it. It's all wet. No, no, no, I hear. I'm like more of Matt the BBs. You're more, you're more of Matt the BB type. Yeah. I'm more of like Twitter files.

It was some stack. Oh, yeah. You're wikid. How many subs stacks I've tried to read? It has been like, I can't possibly keep doing it. I can't read anything. I turn on. I do it all the time. I'm like, I'm going to get this sub stack and I'm like 47% fucking I'm done. I'm I'm done. Dude I said tile. I'm out. Yeah, that's I'm right. All right. Let me just scan. I'm right about everything. I thought dude. We're listening to Alexander Hamilton on the way here. the book. I got a little more glimpsed into his early childhood. Dude, I think I saved it. I laughed so fucking hard on the way.

I mean, it's the worst thing in the world, dude. Just listen to this. This is the Muhammad's or whatever. This is so him and his mom both got sick, so they brought in the best doctors they could find. Which expelled the gas from the elementary canal so they give his mother Sorry, they gave his mother Valerian route which makes you just fart constantly Elementary Capsons out of forts they gave his mom Valerian route and they fucking gave blood let him it did just let's a funny scene in the world

Which expelled the gas from the elementary canal Alexander submitted to bloodletting and an enema Mother and son must have been joined in a horrid scene of vomiting flatulence and defecation as they lay side-by-side in a fever state and the single upstairs bed The delirious Alexander was probably writhing inches from his mother when she expired at nine o'clock. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Standing the late hour.

It's what I'm sorry. He's my father. You're shitting. Wait, why didn't you give him an animal? What was his, what was his secret? That fever. Shit Yeah, we got shoved shit up your ass and cut you You were shitting and bleeding and his mom was just farting nonstop Holy fuck how old was he? I think like 14 or 15 or nothing that sucks Oh, it's terrible dude. Yeah, and his mom was kind of a slut. You told me that last time

Yeah, and I we confirmed it, too. They, too, too. So he shits himself and his mom just slowly, slowly, he's just like, pfft. Pfft. It's quiet. He's like,

Mom. Mom, are you dead? Mom. Nope, maybe the one death rattle, yeah. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. He's writhing in diarrhea, like, just,

just, bleating all over the place. So they're like, dude, your mom's dead. And the people came from the town and quarantined, like, you guys can't leave this room, quarantined them into the house. And then his, her ex-husband came by right after, was like, this house is mine now. Because you guys are bastards,

and your mom's a fucking whore. You guys shit that one whole room up, though. Dude, that again, fucking that's a guest room. So he shit himself next to his dead mother. Yeah. And then this guy who, you know, the mom, well, it's funny because down the line, he gets adopted after his mom dies and like,

some other guy dies. He gets adopted mysteriously by this dude. And it's like, like, the kid hit like a roughly his age is like, you look just like me and everyone in town is like, these guys are brothers. So the historians think that like the guy had plugged his mom. Yeah.

As soon as she died, he was like, fuck it. Because he didn't take his other brother. He just took Alex. I'll take a little shit box. And dude and they fucking, they looked like twins. They don't include that in the fucking Broadway play, dude. I said I'm saying the mom been in a mom with shitting, and I was nervous.

That was bleeding all over the place. The mom were farting. Y'all. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Let me see. So, lady is, so the, he's a bastard because his mom lasted in a basket just left and married his other guy,

the Hamilton, who just just his father left him But I don't think it was I think got a band in by his fake father his father allegedly got cuckled nobody wanted this kid No, except for his real dad was finally just kind of like oh come on babe. It's poor kid We got help. I was like oh my fucking god. I can't believe I'm getting away with this my bastards So you gotta get his boy, but Yeah, dude, and then like he so he his mom died shit himself, you know, your mom farted to death He's shit all over the place. It's good thing you can't die from that now because my mom would be dead Mom, no, I'm worried about you mom. Here's our worse

I boopered Did you booper? Something bad. I'm called boopers and we're young. That's so fucking funny. Booper is funny. Bernie doesn't like fart. I have one. That was a bad one. He was a bad word when we were young. Dude, fart wasn't it? I was not as if I said fart. It was a problem. If I was like I farted, they'd like stop you being fresh. But Britty tried to establish poop as like the fart word in her house. That's weird. Dude, I said, look man, we're not gonna be weird.

We're not a weird family. Yeah, we're not doing exactly. We're on the cusp already. Exactly. He said, look, we're right on the board to be the weirdest family anybody's ever seen. We can't say poop. We cannot say poop.

That was a battle. Dude, there was like lexicon battles where I was like, these kids are saying fart in the first couple of times. Mine was like, I farted and I see. But a fart family. I see pretty going under this roof. We're a fart family. This is my mother's laws.

You're on all pissed off. Like we're not saying fucking poop. You were supposed to. Fuck that. It was fart. My friend was a Heineberg family, dude. Heineberg? I was just saying Heineberg.

I just just say Heineberg, dude. Tommy says TT for taking a piss and it makes me want to kill him. Yeah, I get in trouble for saying piss too. I'm gonna take a TT. Well, it's just, you say piss. I get in trouble. I hate that word. It's like, what piss?

I'm gonna say, I'm gonna urinate. Saying crap to people bothers sometimes. I really like saying, I get, stand up from a table and go, I'm gonna urinate saying crap to people bothers I really like stand up from a table and go about to take a crap Oh part of me I have to crap. I guess I guess what you do in place societies You have to you from eyes are like I'm gonna go relieve I need to make room need to release my bladder There's a plate way to be like excuse me ladies and gentlemen. I have to visit the powder room. Yeah, true. I have to relieve my nose. That's a euphemism for I'm gonna go crap out.

Drop a mud pile back there. Dude, so Hamilton, mom died. I'm gonna take my shirt off and drop a horse pile. Or you can politely ask me, where's the bathroom they go? It's over there. I'm just thinking more of an upstairs. I was thinking more of a taking a shit Touched face. Maybe I need a Seclusion. Maybe I need to get higher ground on this. We allow crap. Is I'm gonna drop a large jargonic a gigantic fucking dump

And it's gonna need to travel down where it's not Really gravity behind this log There's a log plume. I'm gonna need to get up to the top So you look like you ever clogged your toilet how big was the turd? My husband probably record size right now. What's the biggest? What's the biggest turn your toilets ever choked down? So I'm about to choke your turlip How big is the hole in your toilet?

Yeah, you'll never guess who clogs a turlip between people. Women can clog the turlit, dude. Yeah. Dude, I mean- I don't think it's the pile though. I think they overwip. You think they overwip? I don't think women drop piles like that. Dude, I'm definitely, I'm never stop talking about my aunts turd,

my cousin brought me up here. You're just a witness to it. It was just a regular, you know, like you're a kid, you had no agenda on the day at all. Yeah. I just walk into my cousins house and like, yeah, maybe there you have like good cereal open up the thing my cousins like dude come here You gotta see my mom's call me and it's brought me upstairs so it was a pale brown That was the first pale

The count it was a white well You've been looking for it ever since you captain a half You gotta find another one There's the color of this very couch, dude This might be it it was playing It was like red clay I think it was ship wrecked yeah, but dude, and I mean it was like curled nicely It had a nice like pine cone cluster doing nothing crazy. now like a corn cob like it was ribbed the way out she felt it

It was wrong like a tree it was like tree rings dude. It was It was an old gross dude. It was just three hours old I told my cousin to cut it in half. Get the age of it. I'm like, right here is World War II. Oh, stop. Showing somebody your mom stirred. It's so fucking funny. Dude, you gotta see my mom's shit.

The fact that he had eyes on it. He couldn't put eyes on it. And saved it. Did he know your commander was he just like, I Saved it was you know your governor was he just like I Put eyes on it that he preserved it dude. He was a good historical committee You cannot flush his turn Today my mother had oatmeal for breakfast Holy fuck I'm not going to be a little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more

little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more

little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more from a turn and go. We just go outside and kill bees. Oh, dude, I said kill as many bees as I could every day. I didn't know they were in danger. I feel bad. Dude, I'm telling you, I killed one summer. I think I caused like a little bit of the bee shortage. A dip in the area. I didn't stop, dude.

I killed them. It was weeks. I just sat there and every bee I saw captured, killed I would shake him in containers making fight each other Pretty sick. Did they ever fight? Yeah, I was a crawl across each other. I'm like they're fighting Yeah, I was at a poor record with making animals fight in spider versus B spider I would try to get spiders to fight. They didn't fight that much. Yeah, I don't think I ever successfully got a spider fight I think I came back and one was dead and I was like That's the champion. Dude, when you asked me to the beast fight him. I was like, yeah

I was like, no, they're probably just crawling. Yeah, they're probably in there like dude. What are we? They were gonna shake you be like, yeah, you get the fuck out of my way, dude. We're clearly an cage match These intelligent species put us in a cage match. We were fighting for our freedom I buried a grasshopper in a sandbox for four days in a Chinese food container and it lived four days later popped it out and it was just hop Yeah, bug matches were sick. Bug matches were so fucking cool. Yeah, like a fucking thousand-legged B grasshopper, and it's shaking as hard as you could.

I think they're fucking punching each other right now. Potions on adhills. You ever can cock things? Just dump it on adhills. My cousin made potions and would try to feed it to the potions. Potions on animals was great. The potion on an adhill was nice. An adhill.

Not, I wouldn't. I was more of a magnifying glass guy Oh really I never got the magnifying. Yeah, I've made it work It's pretty nice. I didn't have the patience work. I think I just I think I just like I don't think I actually burnt them I think I just fucking I was like yeah, they're fucking cooking On this is this is hurting those animals. I was a big rollie poly guy Yeah, those guys are safe in my book they were safe. I don't know why Every other insect I would destroy rollie poly out of hanging out with lightning bugs

I was a preserve of lighting bugs rollie poly is lady bugs lady bugs still to this day to this day Yeah, so to this day, do I hope I'm the guardian of those guys. Yeah, my aunt's house got fucking infected with them Guardian of those guys. Yeah, my aunt's house got fucking infected with them. Ladybugs and not infected infested infested. Yeah, just a whole corner of the house. Bro, I let them ride. Yeah, they see them. They're great. They're great pest defense. Not when it's thousands. No, that's a lot of the corner of a room like this. Just the whole corner of all ladybugs covered with ladybugs. That wouldn't bother me, dude. I'll be honest. They're good for gardening too. I mean, to be fair fair. Yeah, I see the problem. I see the problem But dude you have to break out the magnifying glass left. I'm saying indoors just

That's all I can do you know if they only get like a Southern light exposure for three hours like look I don't know if I can't do anything else get a shitty house you should get more natural light What you guys sharing and checking ahead about? Nothing, I'll tell you after. Personal business? It's just not interesting. Is it something highly personal and classified? No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you noticed that. No, no.

That's okay. That's fine. Sorry, you're nervous. We guys saying something like mean about another comedian or something together. Yeah. Yep. interrupt. We guys say something like mean about another comedian or something together Yep, ding got it Sorry, I spit that spit that smoothie on the back of your shirt dude. I Almost got away with this okay I I felt it. I wasn't sure

I'm sorry. You're right here. You're right here. I just wasn't sure. I was like, what? I had about 10 seconds to be like, I could just let this ride. Yeah. Well, never know. I just spit a bunch of smoothie onto his back.

Oh. And then I, I was, I got to do it because later he was going to find out he was going to go, who the fuck put, oh yeah, they yeah. You didn't know, he'd been eating. He was the only one that had this himself. He had been like the blender probably went rogue on me when I turned my back. Turn my back and spit on me like an octopus. He was really seizing on me.

Yeah. Oh my. Yeah dude, Hamilton's early life is the funniest shit in the world. Yeah. And so they got their house guy, he's mom dies. Like the city comes comes like don't move You guys don't spread the shit and then the

Her original husband comes by and he was like this house is mine now by declare of the blah blah blah Where were they they had this estate? Yeah, they were somewhere I figured it was called the Caribbean Where St. Croix St. Croix something like that. Yeah, uh, the mom had finally inherited there was all life. A small dude total So I saw like then for death sinister dude. It was bad. They were outnumbered by slaves like five to one. Yeah on that island And they used to run white guy drills. They would bring a bell and they had like they had like slave revolt drills Yeah, but if they fired a shot twice all the whites had a report to a fucking thing like grab muskets and it's be like Yeah, it worked in Haiti Yeah, they revolted they got them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they were they were they were always worried about that dude his

So his these two guys lose their mom and they go Another dude comes in the son of the father, like the original son, actually knows the mom and the original father had two kids, but then those two kids did like a, before the devil's know you're dead like heist, stole all their slaves. And like, Vrano, it's escaped to America

with all his slaves, dude. So all the fucking slaves, this got, their original father wanted to be a sugar plantation Onor so bad and he kept failing at it. So all the slaves got jacked What a bum dude such a fucking bum and then and also, you know This is just his historical record. He was a they think he was a secret Jewish guy Because you know, I don't I don't look. I don't give a fuck with the guy was but you tell me Jews had something to do with the slave trade

This guy now I have to say that this guy. This guy, no, he, no, it wasn't that at all. He was trying to, if anything, he was trying to get into, he was trying to dominate the slave trade and the Dutch were just fucking crushing them. So he, so this guy did successfully sue and get like his mother's, their mother's family took their little like homestead or whatever, gave it to his son who like, you're like in another son, after it was like, I think what wife died, kids stole slaves ran away, he got a new wife, then she died, and then he had this son, he was like,

you were my fucking sole heir, and then he fucking, so he like moved in with these two Hamilton's, it was like, I'm your protector right now, like I own everything, I take care of you guys, then he just fucking stabbed himself to death, but it's weird, because he had a, he had a mistress. A lot of people, a lot of these guys had black mistresses.

Yeah. So he took a black mistress and he had a son, you know, whatever I forget the word, but like they had like a word for that. And like, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, you know, I don't think it's even a bad word, but it's so smooth. But the dude, so then he- Have you read all those? What?

Those descriptors back down of like if you're a quarterback, if you're- No. It gets wild. They get down to the native- They get terms for every single one. I know, dude. I know. I've heard like quadruon.

Yeah, shit like that. Like as you used droon, I think droon should be replaced You know Quack I don't know it sounds to me. It's like it doesn't sound good Although it's probably just like some ancient Greek shit like droon means like forward. It's all probably French Yeah, true Yeah, there's the frogs that were working pretty hard at that doing that out that advanced out

Yeah, yeah, how black are you? That was cause, yeah. Take this quiz right now. No, it was, it's cause they made laws. Oh, yeah. If you're this black, if you're this black, yeah. Yeah, cause that, yeah, they, they, they did talk about that, hell, they didn't have free slaves and free, lotto. I think she changed her name to Lotto.

So I think that's the appropriate term. The rap, the female rapper is not Moulotto. She's Lotto now. So that was a female rapper named Moulinotto. Yeah. And now she's called Lotto, dude. Yeah, that's like the Dixie. Don't say you're Dixie, Chix.

The Chix. We're just the Chix now. We're not into fuck you, you know. We're not into Dixie. Yeah, you were. That's how you made all your money. Is Dixie Slate? Was it, is that like your third place?

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so it's saying like Rebel South, the Dixie. Dixie Slate? Is that like your third flight? Yeah, it's like, yeah. Okay, so it's saying like, Rebel South, the Dixie. Dixie. All right, whistling Dixie. I don't think anyone's holding slavery against the Dixie chick, so. I don't think so.

We're the chicks. We're just the chicks now. You know who participated in the slave trade? Chicks. True. Just so you know. That's fair. Just so you know, there's no escaping it, Dixie chicks.

Yeah, dude, dude, they're complicit. As a white woman in America You're still complicit. They might have got what you call yourself. It's 23 me tell you If you had them. Yeah, cuz they might have got a bad God that's funny if you're like you're actually a quarter black you're like for real like not just kidding You had slaves like fuck Dang it. I had a feeling yeah, dude You're a quarter Native American come to this building to never pay taxes ever again. You're like sweet If I can show you the paper like this look familiar. I don't know what I'm looking at like these are the slaves your family had

You're like, yeah, dang it. Don't tell anyone dude Yeah, no one you never hear anyone come out and talk about the fact that their family I think the Biden's I'm a damn. Don't tell anyone, dude. You know what, you never hear anyone come out and talk about the fact that their family, I think the Biden's cop to a possible slave. I don't know why. I think I saw an article recently that said Trump's family was the only president, presidential family that didn't own slaves, including Obamina.

Obamina, oh really? Obamina's family. Is that real? There's, I don't, I don't. Sean, look it up. Lamar, you don't gotta look at that. Yeah, it seems like something? There's, I don't, I don't. Sean, look it up. Lamar, you don't gotta look at that. That seems like something. Lamar, you don't have to do anything.

I would never tell you what to do. Poor Lamar, dude, we were listening to just like the shit that was going on with, it was just, it was an awkward car ride. I felt awkward for myself more so than I had to endure all that. I'm a potato fan book. Yeah, true.

Just, you know, true, even it out. Also, we're gonna take a breath. Well, man, it was a great, book. Yeah, true. Just you know true even it out also. I think we're gonna take a breath Well, man, this is this stuff's getting it wasn't easy for me either But yeah, man, it was an article from cuz that can't be real. It's the New York Daily News Shit New York Daily News. It's this big city. It's one of the biggest cities in the world and it's every day true dude. This guy's don't stop This is big city. It's one of the biggest cities in the world. And it's every day. True, dude.

Sky's gonna stop. They confirmed the claim. They confirmed? Yeah, they confirmed that Trump is the only one. Every fucking president had slain image. Liniage. Yeah, like, yeah. The bushes.

Yeah. I think they bought them still out. That's what I'm saying. I think they clings. The governor from Arkansas. You don't think he had. Yeah, true. And then, you know, oh, yeah, Hillary for sure.

I think Trump dog was Dutch. He's a Dutch. He looks a good nice little Dutch boy. I think I think his lineage is Deutsche. Could be a little Deutsche Land too. Who knows these days? True.

I honestly think that it's going to be embarrassing in 200 years to be any identifiable ethnicity. I think it's gonna be kind of like yeah, you look at Visibly Irish dude people are gonna go fuck trust me. I still get Consulate you'll get a pale is freak it hurts to go outside That is like a Greek fucking punishment to like get sunburn just oh my brother gets sunburn Then it heals and he gets sunburn. There's no like yeah, it's just it you just every day I got some burn this week. Yeah, the Raven just picks your fucking ribs out Then you go back and starts right back. What's that fucking guy pushing not Atlas?

I think Atlas push the ball at this. Yeah, there's no one out. Cicifus. Yeah, push the ball to roll down on him He was noble they fucking looked up to Cicifus. They're like that's the shit Fact of that guy kept that was like I knew he's Goggins. I shut her it true. He's Greek Goggins I shut her at that tail and apparently I write a thing recently like now they were like pumped on that So we got to push the stone up. Dude. It's like why I I read that I was like a bitch I want to avoid that and apparently they used to read that like I'd fucking never Stuck I would do it forever Totally fucking push at the other way. Yeah, but you know, I'm more of a steal and fire kind of guy if I'm being honest

I know more from me this You can have the boulders do let me just snatch some fire and some flames You can have the boulders do let me just snatch some fire and some flames But that was cracking me up dude for those guys. Can we pause for a second? Yeah, I have to wait so do I actually yeah, that's all piss Peepie part of me. I have to empty my bladder Gotta take a TT This episode is brought to you by better help you don't want to get to the end of your life and realize that you didn't live by your values Therapy can help you figure out what's important to you. So you can follow a path that feels right.

I mean, that is a true statement, but Jesus Christ, man, what he grabs someone by the fucking neck due to the ad. Yeah, when you want to waste your whole fucking be on your deathbed thing, I should have lived up to my values. Better helps on my therapy, matches you with a licensed therapist who can help you move forward with confidence do you mean arm my values? With confidence and sorry, that's the problem. You gotta figure them out.

I gotta zoom call with a guy and figure them out my values. Yeah, you can tell, you can tell you say family over mine. How does he know? Money over bitches. How does he know on MMOB? He's gonna ask, he'll ask you questions. But I could do that myself, I could go, what am I? But he'll go, yeah, but I noticed he keep bringing this up.

And he said, I do like bitches a lot, I guess. So I thought I liked money over my- I am MMOB, what am I? But he'll go, yeah, but I noticed you keep bringing this up. He said, I do like bitches a lot. I guess I thought I liked money. I am MMOB, but maybe I'm bummed. Maybe your bitches everybody, which dude, that's the point of bond part, dude. Maybe I am in the pulling bum, the power. Who knows? The pulling them bun the pal better help is totally online. So it's going to be a flexible and suited to your schedule. If that means doing therapy on the go,

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Yes, and if they say, they have to go, absolutely, I respect your word. They can't be like, well, hold on, let's think about this. If somebody makes me question anything, next. Next. So you could go through hundreds of them. And they, you're just like the last. You could just lock yourself in a room and just,

you know, you're just like the last guy. You're just trying to ask me about this. You're under the hood. But you know, man, it's nice to talk to somebody about stuff, but also, yeah, you can also, yeah, you know I don't know what could happen. Someone could also put their values on you a bad therapist What they do is they try to make you copies of themselves So they'd be like, yeah, you should do this and go that doesn't sound right. They go do it. What about just prayer? I mean, bro now you talking. That is the ultimate therapy.

What about the power of prayer? I mean, bro, that is the ultimate therapy. I mean, maybe the therapist can help you find that as your value. Maybe we can- Go to bring out the apostles Creed. If you get a fucking prayerful therapist, that'd be the best.

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I mean I don't want to get shit on everyone hated it. I loved it. I played it. It studied it on steam. It tells you how long you played games. Lamar, do you still have my steam account on the steam deck? Oh, thank God, dude, because if you saw how much I played in the pool in total war, it would be crotch. It's like 487 hours. No, it can't be that high, but it is. I played that and there was a total war game that was like, it was like Hamilton Times, it was about the colonies and shit. I played it, not stop. I remember you playing the one with the colon, I kind of remember that.

They made like a newer version of that with the Napoleonic Wars. And let me tell you, dude, when I saw those black hats, I think their names like, what's their name? The Liverpool. Fuck fuck Scottish guard. I forget the black. Tell me what it is. What are you guys? Google.

No, they, well, I think they did up black hats, but they were, I mean, this is good podcast. They still exist. It's a, it's the, like an elite unit in England in the UK I think they're from Scotland or Anyway, I saw those boys and I saw the boys in the trailer hitting the square formation against the cavalry Which is what you do, dude? Yeah, I never saw a square formation before if there's a cavalry charge You know what square more among only a little circle. I'm gonna. I'm a that's that's what I sell joke dude. That's how you defeat the circle The square the square inside the circle and now you now it's a shooting gallery. Oh

Jesus Christ that makes sense What the fuck that's insane. I'm gonna I can't remember their name That's what lost Vegas will do to you How was it? How was it sitting? How was the vibe of Vegas overall? What'd you find there boys? Oh, I was thinking the black watch Right what do you see if I got that right? I'm having a hard time. I want to see you So let me to a hat with a green feather

I like that Robin Hood Yeah, the black watch actually a sick that was a sacred I think that was the I think the archers done that Is the royal Irish Rangers? It's the black watch Black watch it's a black watch, but it looks like they weren't the black created until 1881 Which was after the Napoleonic Wars. Oh, dude. I've never been this gay Polionic Wars. Fuck, dude.

I've never been this gay. Fuck, dude. Once you put on Versace, dude, you forget history and all you think about is pussy. True. I mean, it's become the match. You're the match. I'm in the now.

I'm in the future. Just a bunch of, true. You're in the 20, 20, 20. This is the future drip, dude. It's fucking sick, dude. It's so embarrassing. I saw it and I didn't know.

I knew it was one. I thought it was like it's Versace, you know, it was a nice shirt. Now I went, oh yeah, dude. It's a nice shirt Yeah, I went hell yeah, dude It is more expensive than everything else I own combined. Yeah, yeah, that's good though And it's 1700 dollars for the Versace shirt for the Versace shirt. That's awesome Yeah, but could you imagine for real like triple the rest of my wardrobe? Could you imagine like having that itch where it's like I need to have every shirt like this?

When you start when I went in to buy one you feel pretty cool. Yeah, when you get it. But then you go into the you go try it on and you look in the mirror and you go Maybe this world's not for me. Well, they have like fucking secret service guys in there like security guys in there because that I think those stores Those are the most robbable stores I've ever seen although in a casino that would be a little difficult. Yeah to get out Yeah, cuz that thing's a maze already. I think they have a guy even aren't even armed guard in there though I think a guy will shoot you if you try to grab the drip. I hope so I think orders are to shoot if someone's not

Yeah, cuz there there's like a million dollars worth of shit in there basically. And there's just five things. There's just like two shirts, all it and like a pair of shoes. And that's like, this is the whole store. And you walk in there like, yes.

Oh, do you have this in a gigantic man size? That's, that's the absolute, that's girl, that's girlfriend hell dude. I'm like, let's just look. Can you go absolute. That's girlfriend hell, dude. I was like, let's just look. Can you go in there and you're like, what are we doing? Neither of us can afford it. I would go in there with college age,

high school age girlfriends. I'm like, why, what are we doing? We can neither, neither of us. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, yeah, this is kind of cool. Okay, can we leave now? Yeah. Okay. Can we leave now? Yeah.

Okay. Can we go kiss in my car? They. That's not. If I could take it all back, I would remain chased. I would have been chased if I could have taken it all back, but unfortunately in high school, I did have sweetheart.

I had sweetheart. Yeah, sweet hearts. Sweet hearts, dude. You jizzed. I wish I didn't have sweetheart, dude. I should have been fucking spanked. Should have spanked out, dude's sweethearts. Sweethearts, dude. You jizzed. I wish I didn't have sweethearts, dude. I should have been fucking spanked. Should have spanked out, dude. Oh my God.

Where are you at time wise? Get into it. Or are you trying to save it for the Patreon? We might have to save it for the Patreon. Otherwise, I'm talking total war in Napoleon. I like to hear this stuff. I mean, it's as cool as a guest. You're gonna like this about Napoleon.

You see when he was in Egypt. Yeah, I didn't know he shot the fucking period. That's when he found out he got cocked. Is that why his nose missing? Uh, I think it was before then, but he got accused of that. They've knocking the nose off. They're like he didn't look white. Damn, I have such a peasant brain dude. I'm like is that where the nose came from? No, I think it's a peasant room. I think that's a common thing. Yeah, peasant. Uh, Napoleon found out he got cocked Daddy in Egypt who cocked him Josephine that chick with the cut hair

I was saying which dude dude cocked him oh Fancy Cavalier man a dandy cocked him with his he probably cut a bottle of champagne and half and Oh, it sucks because when he met that lady in the trailer Josephineine, the reason her hair was like that, she was just arrested. It was during the revolution. She just got out of jail. He freed her. I don't I don't think he freed her. He just met that babe at a party. Oh, he could tell she was a bad bitch.

He was like, whoa. But she didn't love him at first. And then she cocked him while he was in Egypt. He's taken over the world and she can't keep her fucking legs closed. But back then, if you were a French general, the worst thing you could be is a cock. Yeah. Everybody got cocked, but you just had to have mistresses. And then everyone was like, all right, you're cool.

Yeah. So he got a bunch of mistresses right away. As soon as he got cocked. As soon as he got cocked, he just out of, he's like, well, now I have to. Damn, he didn't want to. He didn't want to. He was his lover boy. He was a love of He was in love. He was upset his last words were Josephine. Oh my god. Love his Babe imagine it's gonna be crazy to though to cook your husband and then like here that he just conquer you

Gip. Yeah, yeah, oh, he's coming home God just conquer the world. He's coming back here. I cheated on Well, what a brat? What a brat. She was. She was a brat. Nope. Although to be fair, dude, chicks with no, no cell phone. They were sat in his waiting for years. Then some fucking Calvary man comes in and a fucking just walked by. I want. Yeah.

She's like, what's so funny? Your bridges. Take off your bridges. Madame. Oh. She's like, God damn it. And who my Jew be? Ha ha ha ha ha.

I was listening to a, I don't, what the fuck book was I reading? It was, I think it was a Kierger either or where he just writes about how bad everything. He's like no matter what you do, it sucks, dude. He's like, you have to just, he's like, it's not about, he's like, if I, you hang yourself, you'll be like, this is a stupid idea. I should have done that. If you don't hang yourself, I should fucking hang myself. Yeah.

He's like the only thing he lays out. How'd he die? I don't know. I don't know. Did he hang. He died. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I think you died peacefully, but I think the point of he was laying out was like it's all about inner resources, dude. The outer circumstance. No, you're gonna be pissed no matter what, dude. You have to just be stopped internally. I think I was I don't know if you get cocked and then you're like fucking, I'm blowing up the pyramids. Yeah, that's I'm blown up the pyramids. Yeah, that's a dude rule that sick is hell, but a mad dude that yeah, true.

That does rule. I'm assuming you can and a bunch of guys riding camels. That also that could be from he could have a lot goes on that goes on today. He could have sunk into his cuckness and said he was like blow the fucking face off that. Our boys our boys the Marines go overseas they get cuckls. Constantly bro. Just fuck it. Fuck it. Well, dude. It's your girlfriend's or chia pet dude. You don't fucking you don't water I'll think of a tomagotcha. All right, the tomagotcha gets happy fucking me someone picks it up Like I'll give this thing a fucking pellet and I'm like It is worse when girls cheat dude. Can we get we have guy to look dude?

Obviously, I fucking guy. Obviously. It's so much worse than they do that. Can we get we have guy to walk dude? Obviously. We're just a fucking guy talking. Obviously it's so much worse than they do that. I was watching the Godfather last night before bed. Every depiction of Italians is just them cheating and being fucking dorks. Do you have to watch a fuck what's the one? The movie about it's like the quintessential was in Italy and they're just like all stab in each other in the back. Yes, Sodom.

It's called Gamora. Yeah, Gamora. That's it. It's Gamora. It's just Italian guys betraying each other. It's all they do. It's so funny too. The whole godfather is them just fucking betraying each other.

It's all tricks. Gamora is like before they come to the States. It's just them in Italy. Yeah. Shooting each other and tricking each other. It's the funniest fucking movie of all time. But yeah, dude It's so bad. I explain that to Brittany. I'm like, yeah, you don't understand like for a woman to cheat on a guy

For a guy to cheat. He just gets busted and it's like, yeah, what a dumbass a woman can have a convince a guy to raise Somebody else's child. I was like it's way more disaster to some women's sheet. Yeah, she was like, yeah, I guess I can see what you mean I was like, look we're obviously bound to marriage, but I'm saying it's doubly wrong. It's wrong. Is Pillow talk this is lame? Before bed, just like, you awake. Just so you know.

I hit her the other day with like, we're sitting there. And I was, I think she had some song on. It was like, bad bitch, whatever. And I was like, if you were truly a bad bitch, wouldn't you have just a nasty pussy? Like a gross, is there always saying that my pussy is so wet and perfect? It's like, it should be like a fissious mouth, dude.

It's a fucking wet bony pussy. There's like a shitty bony pussy that stinks. I don't have a fish mouth. It was Sarlac pit. Yeah, I like to hit her with those, but I don't. Cause girls is, play is too. Yeah, it like I like to hit her with those big now because girls is players too. Yeah, it's like Doesn't work that I gotta give that one to Billy Billy's been making me laugh at that girl singing that fucking dumb song apple bottoms on a Night I just want to have a good night The dumbest song I've all done. Yeah, I've I've really I've got some new lyrics for it. What you got?

It's almost Halloween night. I just want to have a good fright So look out for that come October Dude, you're gonna roll that right into fucking Napoleon and thanks give it the polian Thanksgiving is gonna be instant if this movie sucks It's not dude. It can't suck really Scott really Scott fucking rules. Have you seen a bad movie with Joaquin Phoenix, by the way? I don't know of one. A24 can drop some real stinkers. I never I heard the master was good. He's in that. It's him and Philips. He went off.

So that's got to be pretty good. It's got to be nasty. I think it's kind of about Scientology or entirely. Pretty tight. Uh, no, Joaquin rules. What you got? The Joker's overrated. I went back to watch it again and kind of sucks. That's Black Panther propaganda though.

That was all right. That was white guy, Black Panther. Yeah. Did I feel the same way about Black Panther? Black Panther was so bad I was laughing at the auto-breeding in the theater. I couldn't believe it. Dude, for a Marvel movie, if you just, yo, if you keep it in the box of just Marvel movies,

because I bring you, maybe, watch all of them. And it's like, they put a little extra TLC into it. It is, that's it. It's like it's a formula like one. It's a standard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just worry about the lose. They have like, they have like, they have like, they have they had one more little thing. Yeah, there was like one thing it

I was like, oh, that's slightly off the formula. That was it. That's my true remembrance of it. Yeah, it wasn't the I don't think it was like a culturally It didn't like shift anything. It was just fucking yeah, that was nuts. Like this is a cultural achievement It's like yeah, sorry man. Napoleon's going to be Although a 20 but not this is a 24 trick to be bad. The green night. You saw the green night. I saw trailer for the green night.

I was like, this is it, dude. I can't wait. And then I saw in theaters and I was human. I was Sam from The Spacials. When the movie started started I was like Midway through It just stunk yeah also now that I just thought of this because I have small hands and I was clapping Trump's hands

Regular if not big he's just a big dog. He's got regular hands really Rogan confirmed Rogan and him had a fucking dude. He tried to hit Rogan with the fucking intense Can't do that to Rogan's these Rogan's was with him just Damn Dan Sandshake we're gonna work on that Just fucking Shaking people yeah, just Just fucking shakin people. Yeah, just Nice to meet you. I'm glad me

What are the movies that people pay like like black Panther had a lot of lip service paid to it? Yeah I'm I'm like was that it was that like a did that ever happen? I'm sure it happened before that but like I Can't think of a time that like people were like Culturally afraid to bash a movie to get sucks. It was like get out. Yeah, that was right. Anytime it's just a black movie. Yeah, but dude, that was that was such a weird couple of years except for the blackening. Except for the blackening. Well, that's because the blackening is very obviously a white people movie.

Yeah, it's very like white people humor like, oh, what's the blackening? I'm going to toss on a trailer for you It's like a scary move. We're giving honest white man's review on the Patreon It's time for white guys to sit down and watch black movies time for us to get angry Oh, yeah, we got you we got to go to the patreon. Yeah, let's go to patreon guys. Let's you. Thank you Goodbye now We do gotta go to the Patreon, let's go to Patreon.

Yeah, let's go to Patreon. Guys, let's go. Thank you. Goodbye now.