Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 454 - Sedona (feat. Dan Soder & Nate Marshall)

Episode Date: August 2, 2023

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Dan Live @ dansoder.com/tour Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com HELLO. We're back. Matt is out this week, due to his Rhinoplasty. Please send him Ts & Ps, we miss him so very much. Thankfully the great and honorable Daniel Soder and our dear pal Nathan Marshall came through to shoot the breeze with Big SG in Mathew's absence. The cast is hot of course. Matt will be back next week in FF (full force). Please enjoy. God bless you all.  Get 10% off & free shipping at https://magbreakthrough.com/mssecretpod and use promo code DRENCHED This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try for 10% off your 1st month at betterhelp.com/mssp & get on your way to being your best self Visit thefreezepipe.com and use code DRENCHED for 10% off your order Support the show and get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code DRENCHED at https://Manscaped.com           p.s. Matt's comedy special may or may not be coming out on YouTube later today ;)

Hey Sean, if you would have fallen, don't have been the best, if you were to take it out, you're fine, China. I already knew he would have fucking ripped your China. Look out the camera. Bug thing, I got, just a bunch of I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Matthew's not here, he's getting nose surgery. She's getting a nose job? No, he broke his nose. What did he do? He was body surfing and he smashed his face. Wait, really? How bad about it? Did he have the shattered? It is. Did he have the black? Yeah. Yeah.

Will the talk of look? Yeah, he was far. So it's going to be a big reveal when he gets here. Like, I think they take it off. That's that's today's going to like stints out of his nose today. Do you think his family's going to be around? I only is going to be like, what the fuck? I told his lovely wife to film him when he was post surgery thinking it would be funny.

But he was, the blackened up on drugs and he was furious. He was mad? Yeah, he was just high on, he just got out of surgery, he was like, get the fuck out of him. I always come out. You can say hi to Shane,

he goes, is this what you wanted? You sick fuck Yeah, put that video on the page real I can't I can't do that because he's like you should have done the thing He's a near like Jack there's like Joker or Batman What's it about what if he sounds different he may he's like That's crazy so he broke his nose that bad. Yeah, he's some of the extra. He is yeah It's just riding away It's laying down surface yeah without surface. Yeah, but no board. What? He's just riding the waves just him. Look, he may straight into either a person. There's no board

involved in. No, he goes like he's just waiting. If you know what a thing when you're a kid, you get the way he's with the way he's shattered his nose. No, I don't know. From his family, you're talking to him talking he was like telling his kids like hey watch this Yeah, that is intense so he had the surgery today so we'll be back next week. We'll be back next with his new nose Yeah, you're gonna be looking good. Dude, you've seen it? No. I mean, yeah, I've seen what he looks like now,

but it's covered up. He's got a bandage and it's taped to his face. He's like, he's forcing that talk. I can't wait for that reveal. I hope he shows up like it looks just like a classic fake, like mustache, nose, face, face. There's give him a hawker. Either a hawker or a fucking Michael Jackson.

Just a tiny, there's nothing. Tiny little nub. Oh, what if he like whistles when he breathes? Like what if they get one of the arrowies wrong? So it's like see. He's pumped on it because he's had a deviated septum. He's very excited. I'm very jealous of him.

Yeah, because I can't smell. I'm no smell. You need a whole new nose. And the doctor's like, we might have to do surgery, because if I pull my nose up, I could smell a little piggy. What?

Yeah, I took Katie had a nail polish remover, and I was like, look, nothing. And she's like, stop doing that. I'm still free. I was like, I didn't even reach out. I didn't even go, but I was like, I can reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that.

I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that.

I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that.

I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to that. I didn't even reach out to're like, this doesn't I got to get that a shot. I think for me, I'm the same ship. I believe it all week. Like just the years. I don't know if that actually has Well, I smoke cigarettes for so long. That's what it was. I just would always be through the nose. Yeah. They're not always a tale like this. That's sweet. That's the best one. It looks so cool. It's what it's like, it really just looked like I was going through it.

It's great to be like, pre-outing stuff. through it. It's great to be like pre-album stuff. Damn dude I'm jealous of McCusters gonna be able to breathe so well. Yeah. Yeah I have a deal with them too but I try not to bring it up because he's very serious about his. Oh you like out serious? No he's just serious. I don't care at all. What do you mean? So look I have it. I can't breathe out this nostril. At all. Yeah. Actually, that was perfect. Maybe it's that one. Now, that's the good one. Do I should ever think about it? Maybe I don't have it. Do I should ever think about it? Do I should ever think about opening it up though? Yeah, there's a classic mouth. Do this whole episode should just be nose breaths.

Yeah, there's a classic mouth. Dude, this whole episode should just be nose breaths. Anyway, you know, we got that going. You know how they added clips? You know how they added clips together? We were like, yeah, they got me one of those. You know how they get matched in with those? Yeah, they got me one of those. Yeah.

They got me one of those. Whereas like the mushroom kicks in, he's like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love the one with the, when you and your boy get a bag. He's like, and it's him and all co-cogs. He's like, oh, yeah. Dude, there's one that's going around now of old school

Memphis, Tennessee, you, Macho Man, where he's cut in a promo and it says when you're drunk on Cours, like telling your nieces and nephews about it. And he's like, I played baseball. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? We're good at it.

It's like an old, old macho made a promo. Dude, where'd he play? He said for the carnal's. Yeah, carnal's drafted him. Then he threw his line out there. Dude, check this shit out. He threw his arm out and he was so athletic, he taught himself how to throw with the other arm

and move from pitcher to catcher. Yeah. He's like, yeah, I'll just do it with the other one. You know what, with my good arm, I'm like, I threw like a girl. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I don't like to grow. So I saw baseball. I went to a twins game during COVID so it was like empty. That's awesome. And I got to you can hear the pictures fucking lose their minds when they give up a home No way those dudes spaz you know when they put their glove on their face There's an empty ballpark everyone's just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,

I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,

I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like,

I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I got to play this because speed we're talking pitching. It reminded me of this rocket. Do you remember John Rocker's quote? Dude, I remember exactly. It's crazy. Why would I want to go to Shay Stadium where I take the seven train, which is filled

with a woman with seven of her kids, a guy with a pink mohawk who probably has aides and he throws a battery here. Am I getting it pretty close? Very close. The national crown. Rocker told SI he would never play for a New York team. Here's a recap of his most inflammatory remarks. Quote, imagine having to take the number seven train

in the ballpark, looking like you're riding through Beirut. Have some kid with purple hair. Nexusome queer with AIDS. The next is some dude who just got out of jail for the four-time. Right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids, it's depressing. And about New York City itself, Rocker said, the biggest thing I don't like about New York are the foreigners. I'm not a very big fan of foreigners. You can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English, Asians and Koreans, Vietnamese and Indians and Russians and Spanish people and everything up there

How the hell do they get in this country? I think who's it? It's Joe Chalker, old picture for the brave, he's getting proud. I think he was, I think Colin Queen on weekend update, because they brought out, they like did that joke or whatever really calling goes, well, the guys definitely been to Queens. But then that was Will Ferrell's like one of those first breakout things really showed up on weekend update with the Bravestors on the hat. He's like, I throw heat. I throw heat. He was just like, I can't find it. I've been looking for Will Ferrell as John Rock. It's an interesting connection because that was because McBride and McCay did foot fist way. Yeah. And then that was it's basic. He's got any powers. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, it was

making me laugh of the biggest thing I don't like is foreigners. I'm not a big fan of foreigners. What's happened? You can walk a block and not even hear English. My favorite is the reporter voice saying crazy, crazy shit like that. And he said quote, these gross ass foreigners be smelling like cooked chicken hearts. The main thing I don't like about New York is the foreigners. I'm not a big fan of foreigners. What's rocker up to now? Ballin out. It's got to have a card. I got an a big fan of foreigners. Dude, what's rocker up to you now? Ballin' out. It's got to have a card here.

I got an autograph for Rocket Jersey. Do you really praise? It's amazing. But they just blessed you with it. Yeah. Really? No, not really. It was a comedy club. They were like, what do you want? I was like, assigned rocker.

If I could get anything autographed, John Rocket Jersey. Dude, I would take, I would take, you know what your next one has to be? Signed Scott Norwood, Bill's Jersey. What's Scottie Norwood up to? Trying to forget about 1990. Just trying to forget about 33 years ago. Yeah. That has to be one of the toughest fan hoods of all time.

Bill? Yeah, that three straights. I'll tell you what, they're not like in your boy right now. Who? I was on Santino's podcast and I told a story, which was true about when we were walking through the parking lot of the bills, Dolphins playoff game, and this lady came up to me and I did the accent they were mad because I was like, do an accent like I was Canadian. They're like, it's not how we talk. Well, you talk like a fucking asshole. So there you go. But we were walking through the parking lot.

Oh, dude. And it's a very bills friendly pot. Oh, I know. I'm making my case for a beer. Slady was hammered. By the way, bills fans were talking shit, but they were like nice. Yeah, they weren't like Philly.

Yeah, it wasn't like we were legitimately worried for your safety. And they were like, all you guys want to see the crate? This was a playoff game. Also, they kinda knew. Wow! You know what I'm talking about? But it was Skylar Thompson, but they were mad at us.

They're mad at me because, and this is a swarting out, a hundred percent real story. We're walking through the parking lot and this lady is tailgating and she goes, are you guys gonna leave if it's 35 to nothing at half time? Now what, are you gonna kill yourself if Skylar Thompson beats you in a playoff game? And she just goes, that's just being a bills fan. Like, I hate the God on my dead father's grave.

McDaniel's wife will testify that that is that happened while we're walking to the stadium. We were right in front of the stadium and that lady did that. She just went like, hey, we're like not even close. She's like, hey, you really dolphins fans? And we're like, yeah. Yeah. And she was like, you guys can only even 35 to zero?

When I said that, she's like, nah, it's a dolphin. And then we're back in the old days. I was like, that was the nicest. I broke character. I'm actually a 49ers fan. I might have been the sweetest. I just saw the damage the 90s did to you, right?

Yeah. They are. They're like, they need a Super Bowl just to get back to zero. That's honestly, it's a lot, how I am at a no-day in tailgate. Really? That Ohio State. Just talking to you. You guys, we're going to fuck you guys out there.

Like, we're going to kill you. Like, I know you guys. You guys have so fast. You move so fast. All right, guys, it's not easy. You know what's funny? I get that with like, Chiefs fans. When I talk shit is a 9er fan, I'm like, You guys have so fast. You move so fast. Oh, our guys are so funny. I get that with like chiefs fans when I talk shit as a nine-er fan.

I'm like, oh, fuck you guys. And they're like, well, why'd you let us come back when you're up 10? And you're like, yeah, that was fucking dumb. There's nothing like chiefs come back to ruin everything. To you were there. We both experienced that. Last time I was on the podcast, we were talking about that.

That was the first time. I haven't rewatched that game since. Don't. I watched the quarterbacks going to hurt on Netflix. Oh, yeah, they did that. They did that, obviously, the Super Bowl. It's got about the power turn. They scored on two.

Those motherfuckers. They scored a defensive touchdown at punt return. Some of my kids, some of them I forgot about that you sent me recently on the screen. Yeah, my bad, which I forget where I was. I was, I think I was in an airport and I looked at it and I went like this. Oh, was the 2011 NFC championship game with the Niners and the Giants and we were in overtime and the part return to dropped. The punt and then the Giants just kicked a field goal went to the Super Bowl really. I was flying the same for Cisco the next day. I was like, I was like, I was like,

I'm just a loft pont. God damn it. Can't wait for football season. Yeah, I know. Every year football returns. It's so fun. Special time no matter what's going on in my life. What's going on in the world?

The NFL is always there. It's bad ass. It's bad ass. It's very chaotic. It's patriotic. It's weird man,, just that clip I understand because it's what the internet is. It gets taken out of context and people get mad

because they don't know the proper thing. Because I was telling that story on stage at Helium and Buffalo in their laugh and being like, ah, yeah. Also, Buffalo is a team without cheering for McDaniel that I wanna see with Everybody wants Buffalo. Yeah. The Browns and the Bills are the two franchises I want to see win a Super Bowl that haven't done it yet.

Why? Just because they do. Their cities have just been kicked around. Yeah. And have you been the Cleveland and Buffalo? Yeah. They need a Buffalo Cleveland stuff. You never been a Buffalo?

No, they need it. Cleveland is better than Buffalo. Buffalo is a hellhole. Buffalo, you go there and you go like, God damn, I see why you love the bills. And why your wings are so tasty. You gotta come up with something delicious. It is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, always, I always, I always, always, I always, I always, I always, I always, I always, always, I always, always, I always, always, I always, always, always, I always, always, I always, I always, I always, always, I always, I always, always, I always, always, I always, always, always, I always Real fucking problems. Oh, what happened when the two flavors mixed didn't blow up and kill one of your family Be it from a cereal town you think you'd be having a cereal town General Mills their whole factories right next to the club right next to the comedy club and it smells so good

Except if your nose retarded. Yeah, you should move to the canxburg. You get a nice house right next to the dog food factory I would love it. I'll. Myrtle will be going nuts. The summer of the old town smells like pure hyena. So bad. That's like a Greeley, Colorado when I have my smell when I was a teenager. It's a big to make like manure. Yeah. Make like all this. So like the wind hits and you're just like oh it shit. Yeah, like Like the main is all farms is just right outside of writing has the same thing It's like a mushroom factor. It's just manure for like a mile of The thing you just hit a layer of it and it just gets heavy do people just adjust to it? You have to if you live there you get homes you adjust to it quick like the way I adjusted living on their train

Yeah You have to, if you live there, because you're homes. You were just to it quick. Like the way I adjusted the living on their train? Yeah. Every time I was at your house, I was like, how do you do this? Do you remember when I tried to keep when I tried to save money, keep the AC off of me, be hanging there? The one that goes, I know nothing bothered me more.

He'd be like, Eee! He said, I know, I know, I know, I know. I don't bother you. I don't bother you. And I was on the first floor, to the hottest girl in the world.

Skimpin' on AC is a crime, then. Yeah. Nothing bothers me more. Especially I wasimpin' on AC is a crime, yeah. Nothing bothers me more. Especially I was opening for you. I saw your text, dude. And I was like, dude, I gotta save money. I was worried about going back to waiting tables. Dude, we were just at Katie's brother's house

for like a week and they keep their house at like 73 or 74. It's a crazy tent. And so we were just being the guestroom like, I was just like in the sheets on Is not even a good outside Rocket 68 you're a don'ts with money Cuz now now I'm better at it now. I'm much more liberal with my AC. Yeah Back in the day. It was got to be because it was room by room too. That's central cooling

You got central air now. No, we had it in Jersey, but now we have just back to units powerful units Well, you know the office building units the ones that are like on the wall or that that's what we got it's pretty nice Yeah, dude fucking BTU's baby time If you ever go into Europe, they just don't have air conditioning. Yeah, it's just like a wet But it's hot down there now, right? Now it's getting hotter than you. Yeah. Yeah.

You're watching a bunch of Scottish people be like, oh, thought it was going to be green, pulled in a day to day. Me live there. And now it's just fucking hot and sweet. I think about this. Scott and Joe can have what? Cause there's a guy in my neighborhood that walks with his dog.

I've never done that joke. I stopped doing that joke after like three months. Yeah, people don't like that joke. No, they don't. Talk about whoopin' a dog. What? Well, I was a Scotland. I would walk through every day to go to my shows.

I'd walk through this giant park. All the dogs are off leash. Yeah, crazy. All the dogs are off leash. And the Scottish dude, I'm slow gonna join with like, oh, man, how are the dogs so well behaved here? And just matter of fact, he goes, beat the shit out of them.

We go, oh, okay, that goes, beat the shit out of them. We go, oh, okay, that probably works. That was a real guy that guy said that. And I was like, what? And he's like, it's good for training. It's good to train your dog like that. I feel like if you talk to Asian people about that, like you would see the dogs,

like whenever you see a dog being wild online, like some wild, clearly trained. What do Asians say about it? I have to go. Yeah. Yeah, man, man, man. Yeah. But like a video, like a dog leaving this cage

and turning his fan and like going back in this cage. It's wild. It's like you, they're just smacking the shit out of me. Touch the fan. Yeah. Until he figures out the move. Just a palm arena getting the shit kicked out. You know the time, you're like fucking go to a fan. Yeah. Until he figures out the move. Just a palm arena getting the shit kicked out. You know what I'm like, fucking go to your fan.

I just saw that Louis joke about dogs that was making me laugh about how dogs are like dumb. Yeah. So they're like painfully dumb like they're sitting in a fit, like a family tragedy's occurring and you're all sitting there like, oh my God, you look over and you see your dog. He's like,

I know you. when you see a dog, he's like, he's like, I know you. No, it was not like the Lou joke. I was thinking about it when we were watching TV, because your dog watches you watch. He's like, oh, oh, sitting there, your dog's like, this guy's fucking losing it. Ah, the Jets, the bird joke.

Bird joke about the dog. Yeah, like the dog gets hyped with you. Yeah, yeah. Like, God damn Jets, he goes to me and I'm like, he's like, what's this guy? We're joking about the dog. Yeah. Like the dog gets hyped with you. Yeah. Oh, yeah. God damn, Jack. He goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes,

he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes,

he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he uh, she's a, my dog's an idiot. And then she's smart in the most random moments. So she'd be like, oh, I can behave for food.

I'll behave right now. Dude, this homeless lady asked to pet my dog today. You didn't let her, did you? No. I went like this. Oh, she just got all of her shots. And then I walked her out of the corner. I didn't know what to say.

I didn't have the balls just to say no. She goes, can I pet your dog? And I go, got her shots don't touch me. Please don't touch that Yeah, she's got a haircut. She's so soft. You can't touch that though. No, no, I felt bad. Thank you I Don't you I felt bad, but you're right. I knew I made the right decision Even though I had a heavy heart. That was that little John Raffer in you. Yeah, I go. You walk a block without some fucking bomb touching you.

Queer with age, Johnny. Some queer with age trying to pet my dog. And here's the thing. Go back and look at. It's a blessing. Go back and look at those stats. He was sprinting out of the bullpen. But he was tossing. What was he?

He's got a good. He's got a good. He was tosses. He cooked up He's on mid 90 ruins his neck's bigger than his fucking head The thing is he could fucking hook that thing you come in and that guy just throw he really wants Kenny powers Yeah, okay come in and be like he broke a hundred. I don't know I don't know what I'm doing that there right yeah It was like in the day where if you went one on one pitchers, they were tossing it. Yeah, did you ever watch that? Did you watch facing Nolan? The Nolan documentary?

Yeah, I don't believe those stats, dude. You don't believe those stats? Everyone's why I... I got high enough that every stat I was like this. Whoa! Yeah! There's 140? Whoa!

You know what? No, that's like crazy. It's crazy. He's through three-letter mom. Whoa. Sedona. Sedude. I'll get random tweets and random fucking face.

No, no, no. It's her hand-bucket comments. Sedona. Sedona is so fucking fun. Yeah, Shane and I were very, I was very high. He was hanging out. We were at my apartment watching ancient aliens. And they did some of the work. They were like I was very high. He was hanging out. We're at my apartment watching ancient aliens and they did so They were like Sedona Arizona and unprompted just sitting in the corner of my couch. I think Indians now in the corner

I just go Like what The most high thing Possible the most high thing possible. No, my hometown's on ancient aliens. I'm not trading through that. I had an experience. Are you there y'all hype one the alien stuff right now? I mean, it's funny that no one gives a shit.

Yeah, I don't even know if the American government was like, hey, not only do we have spacecrafts, we have the pilots. And everyone was like, pass. Yeah. Oh, there you go. I heard Hunter Biden was driving 70 on track. Not only do we have space crafts, we have the pilots and everyone's like, Pass! Yeah! There you go! I heard Hunter Biden was driving 70 on the car. Even the aliens were like,

Zeebs opposite dude, right? I was doing my question of the aliens being excited to be announced. You know, you're a guest set and then no one cares. The pops could be insane. You guys, this is gonna be crazy. Just watch, here it crazy. Just watch. Here it comes. Aliens.

And then it's like, I don't care. Boo. There you go. Oh shit. You know, Joe Burrow heard his ankle. So that's it for us. I guess. That's all I time.

Gating is weird. What else do I have? Who's going single? What do you guys want to talk about? I'm just bombing your headset. What else is in the news? You guys have a travel at the speed of life. Have you ever been to? No.

What's up with inter-dimension travel? I'm just doing Simon's. Yeah. I've worked. I was doing, my impression of him is always rewound. We go like, I was grande, you see. He sounds like a twin peacock. It's always my Daniel Simonson.

Who's fucking hilarious? Yeah, he's incredible. But he's like, can I imagine killing in a second language? I can't imagine. I can't imagine. I can't imagine. Just me being like, Oh, you're a fucking job, so for cheats of art.

Yeah, you're a fucking job. In English, I'm like, I don't know how this is gonna go. Imagine Bill and it though, selling the tickets and then just faking it. Yeah, just making all these things. You're leaving my name. He's so nice to be here today. Go to China.

Yeah, I'm just like, big monster, big monster, huh? I'm just, he's not so nice. Everyone's very excited about your first Mandarin performance. I go, just stand back. Right before you, like, I should have studied. I'm in my head talking like this. Me, me how much?

Fuck it, I'm gonna wing it. Oh, fuck. Jeep, jeep, jeep, look at this. You just did a very racist march doing it. Oh, boy. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it.

He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it.

He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's is skateboard. Yeah, so it was normal. Norman and Simon Norman.

That's all they can like grab a skateboard and skate and you're like have you tried to stand on a skateboard have you tried to stand on a mattress? It's crazy. Yeah, I was. I was going to stand up to kill a ball girl. Close that. If the close that blind, I got to stand on that couch. Yeah, you have the stable.

I'm straight. Yeah, I'm. Yeah. I'm. Can't hate. That is a new tag in a tumble. That's great. You know what I'm talking about. You're a good. I can't hate that. That is a huge take in the tumble. That's what I'm underneath.

Yeah. How are you on mattresses? My center of gravity is fucking great. You're good. Yeah. You ever skier snowboard? No. I used to snowboard in a backyard, but like it was like too little hill.

Lupe Fiasco didn't get you skateboarding. I tried. I wasn't good. And I had a shitty skateboarder dragon ball. So you won't with bad grip. And I wore I wore Jordan's to try to skateboard. I tried. I wasn't good. And I had a shitty skateboarder dragon ball. So you won with bad grip and I wore I wore Jordans to try to skateboard. It wasn't. Now, I wonder you and Lamar are such good friends. Did I know you had a dragon ball? So easy. Yeah, I got nerdy me. I just don't let it. I just just not. It's not all of me. You know, it's so fucking clip of Sean Strickland talking shit to Israel Audisign. You came up on my

feet. And it is so crazy so I've watched it like six times in the last day. It is so funny. He goes, think I'm gonna let a guy jerks off to cartoon porn talk to when you're watching all that untie. It's up there with DS. It's not as good, but it's trickling. He's had some really good It's really good. Is that a thing that people know about? I'm sorry or he's like super into anime. Oh, so it's funny that he was like Checking off. He's got fucking nail polish on dude. I'm gonna beat this guy's ass Is he with killer? But he got him a little it got that nerd rage and is he going to start? You're standing up. He's like, yeah, you jerk off the cartoons. He's like everybody jerks off the cartoon

Dude everybody there's a lot of people like John Strickland strikes me as a guy that before we were comics you'd work with them at work and you should be like you should be doing Stand up. I said you should be doing stand up. I mean, that's gotta be how he started. It's just somebody being like you should be fighting Hey, you know you pick fights a power-solid time go train and learn how to do it. It's just somebody being like, you should be fighting. Hey, now you pick fights of power's all the time, go train and learn how to do it. It's all I ever give it a shot. What, cage fighting? Hey, no, Hentai.

Oh, Hentai. Hentai? Equally out of this world, no. But you give it a shot. Hold on. Just looking at it. You're saying that, you're never done that. You're saying that, like,

and I was gonna say this, like it is your go-to. No, no, no, no. I've you jerked off to cartoons. This is a big moment for me. You're saying that like and I was gonna say this like it is your go to You jerked off to cartoons This is a big moment for me. Yes, you have dude. Yes Which one the family guy where Lois is riding Peter. Oh, we're talking that type of No hot big-titty Asians that look like cats not like Big Titty Asians that look like cats. Not like, not like, you got me.

I was with him too. No, no, no. Not like cat people, like just the way the anime characters look, they all look like cats to me. Okay. Like Dragon Ball Z characters all of them. And you finished to it.

Like completed. How did you feel when you finished to that? D.J. Yo, what happened? They don't see a calm. Oh! And James, it was when I was a little deep shame. He was calm. And shame. It was when I was a young boy, and it was because it was the hottest. It was something you can't do in real fucking porn.

So it was like, it was like people at college, and the lady was like, sitting next to the dude, they're studying. And she's like, I want to say that he's like, we're studying. And she goes like, drops her pen, and then just like falls on his dick. And it was like, that's my kid dream right now. But they can just film that now. Yeah.

I don't know. That's kind of tough to do. You didn't know it was college. Huh? I had to say. I would imagine if it was anime. I had to say college. I would imagine if it was anime.

I had to say college. I would imagine if it was anime. I had to say college. I would imagine if it was anime. I had to say college. I would imagine if it was anime. I had to say college. I would imagine if it was anime. I would imagine if it was anime. I would imagine if it was anime. I would imagine if it was anime. Well, are you sure these were college cartoons listen? I keep thinking of the guy drawing it It's

To decrease It's not perfect he balls it up start He's like honey, what's wrong? He's like, I can't get this fuck off scene. And yes, they're in college. April. I have this college. Yeah, that's the. Have you ever jerked off to non-human porn? I mean, I have no thing I ever have. I think I have like, I'll be honest, those cartoons have jarred one loose before though. Like it sends you down the panel. See one. No, I don't go I ever have. I think I have like, I'll be honest, those cartoons of John one lose before though. Like it sends you down the pan. You see one, no, I don't go down the path,

but while I'm scrolling, you see that just a picture of Lois and his family. Or Marge, just giving it to Mo. Yeah, if Ned Flanders through the fence. Jacked with a giant thong. Yeah. I starwiped. Do you remember that episode where Homer does that?

And it shows Ned and it's clear that he has a massive dip No, and Homer blurs it out. It's all like jacked Maybe that's maybe I'm mixing an episode But I I've seen it where like you know that you like to be getting where it's like try not to come in 40 seconds. He played that no Mad did. Well, time ago, Mad admitted to, yeah, I think it was just a random, it was,

obviously it was not there. There was not a game. Oh, yeah. That sounds like a virus. Yeah. You were at the end. It was the insane virus. I, we talked about that.

That one was getting all of us for a minute. Ooh, there's like a girl, fuck, I don't know how to explain it. Well, she was getting fucked and it wasn't a cartoon But it was like CGI time and it was like that That's my that's what I was bringing up that's all for bring it up. I I might be one of those guys the AI when it gets good enough. You're like I'll drink up to me. I certainly I saw one on I didn't realize it was on Twitter like it was just titties

And I was like damn those are great titties and I read the name and the thing and it was like AI something. It's come It's there's an AI data if Throw it doing an AI dating it's like having AI girlfriend. I think so I can finally cheat She said fuck she's ones and zeros We want me to do you dumb bitch. She's not real She's perfect She loves you can never be her That would be great you get caught cheating within a eye lady. Yeah, this makes you dinner. You just sit there

Have you seen us? Have you seen those non-play Have you seen those ladies that do it? I want you. look here? Can you see it? Whatever that should have. Have you seen those ladies that do it? I've watched it. There's one lady named Pinkie doll. She's on TikTok. Yeah. She's the goat.

You like it. She's the goat. She's the black, it's or a spanish lady. She's got, wow. Gangang. Gangang. Ice cream. So cute.

So stascakes. Oh, round of like a cowgirl. Round of like a cowgirl. So I was doing Pinky girl pinky girl something I've been doing in my home. I've been doing my own for Katie watch. She's watching TV I'll stay next to TV and I go like this I'm sorry. Does that have cilantro in it? I'm sorry does that have cilantro

Gang gang gang. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah Gang gang gang. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm a rack it up. Yeah, sir. She takes a hair curler and pops popcorn. Shit is yeah, just for no reason. By the way It's top supporters Timberland. Have you seen that the producer? No, you know that guy right? Tim Belin Tim Belin. Yeah, so it's funniest here number one supporter is who Tim Belin loves it the rap producer Tim Belin yes the guy from Like missing that yeah Tim Belin McGoo one of the greatest albums of all time to a puljard

Dude, I'm gonna download Tim Belin and McGoo album just because I'm gonna download Tim Belen and McGoo album just because I said Gang Gang! What does Tim Belen say about it? He gives her the most money out of everyone. He's her number one subterranean big soul money. Did it cost so much money? Yes, and it's public.

Shut the fuck up. Yeah, he's like a ditty-ditty girl. I'll Google it. So she's doing these videos now where she's like trying to branch out of that and it's clear she's so retarded that that's gonna be the only thing she's good at because she's like, Hollywood, I'm coming, that's right baby, I'm coming, I'm coming for you, stop. Yeah. And then she's that's right, she's that's the say to go,

she's that's right. I can tell you. Are you making some? That's not like that far off from her personality. Dude, I think she's from, I've done some deep abamboises. We found a video of her yelling at her kids in the middle of it in French, and I think she's Kei-Bet-Quoi.

But she could she just in Montreal, or she'd be like, oh thanks, ask him so good, be sure not, they're for sure not, oh God, come if you look at Calga. Oh, I'm done.

I think her kids, I think there's a clip of her kids shitting himself. She goes like in French, she goes like that's disgusting. You were five years old because you're like, you're all sorry, that's all face to face. And then she tries to rush off, but it's so funny when she speaks up.

She goes, gang, gang, gang, that's good. She's finishing up work at the office. Wrap it up. But wait, so does she say that when somebody pays her to say that? Yeah, so you pay her as she says gang that. And she says like ice cream so good. Hey guys, are jerkin' off the, it'll be like this is?

It'll be like, just watchin'. This is just jerkin' off. Yeah, I think so. And it'll be like little, you give like little gifts on whatever. So if you buy like a ice cream gift for ice cream. She says ice cream so good. She says ice cream so good. She says ice cream so good. She says ice cream so good. She says ice cream so good. She a ice cream gift for I'm so good

Yo, man, I'm riding for this bitch ice cream so good whatever the fuck Yeah People trying to talk shit dude, it's really fun. Yeah, they're like finally pinky girls falling off, but she's getting negative comments It's such a niche thing, but it does it makes you feel like you're done. We're done. We're done What's when you see the people that try to do it that aren't her? Yeah, you're like damn she's actually good Was she the original? Yeah, she's though. She's there has to be Asian. There's a white lady with elf ears. Cherry crush. That's hilarious.

Look her up. Cherry crush. What is going on? You know what she does? She's the num num num noise the best. She is. I'm like num num num. Yeah, she goes, because they like,

Pee-ee dog. Yes. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Wait, wait, wait, what's his other person saying? Can't he crash? Can't he crash? Do you know what he picked all over here? He picked all over life, dude. Catch me sleeping in these dreams. Yeah, I'm gonna be sick.

I was saying that's one, I'm sick. You okay, I'll be sick. Yeah, dude, that's her. Bro, it's his young. Yeah. I'm not sure. Bro, it's just him. Yeah. Bro, it's just him.

Yeah. Just like crazy voices. I can whack off to that, dude. We could make so much money. He's been in the porn game for a while. You can find pornography. Yeah, he's been to a porn since we were like 10 years. Do you think porn girls, when they get to this,

they're like, this is so much easier. It has to be to just getting this senior to her This is in the money's fast easy immediate you guys want this in other names. No, I watch it cuz I don't I want it for that My girl showed it to me, but legit Katie was like dude. We're this the end of the world watch this This is popular now and it was on Twitter. Yeah, it's on on Twitter. And it was like wow gang gang Watch this this is popular now and it was on Twitter. Yeah, it's on on Twitter and it was like wow gang gang. Wow asking I spent a week in Chicago just doing my own NPCs trying to annoy Kate. Yeah, that's where I was going like Essentially Chris will howdy partner will howdy partner Nothing better than bother in your woman

I'm gonna joke that burrows in lady was trying to watch Dunkirk. Yeah, I was on her ass the whole movie I'm pretty smooth with terror. Oh, he's fucking cold out in that. It's a cranny dying. You got one freaking blank here. We're Jason Statham in Dunkirk. He's like, I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We're gonna take these boats. We get a bunch of fishermen.

And then we're gonna go back. We're gonna go back to the U-Kai. Have you seen him in that dance video from the 90s when he was hair? Yeah, you showed me that. Yeah, he's not sexy in the dark. He's just dancing in the back. Dude, I fucking love that. Before they were famous famous that's gonna be her watch Pinkie doll below

Wow, I like pinky doll. I like the other one. What's the other one? Take a crash? Yeah, visit though that in the pee hug you guys leave you'll be you'll be pleasantly surprised Turns out he has got some long and he is. That's more than those guys. That's it. I'm surprised. I'm going to know. I'm going to know. Dude, dude.

You guys aren't going to believe what happened to this shop lifter. Do you know that she got stuck in a dryer once? You're not going to like the way she got out. Cherry Crush. Is that her port name? Yeah. That's the reason when I saw it, I knew,

like I had to watch it. When I like not. Oh, but it's not real real dick. Oh, yeah, there she is. Yeah, oh, that's a real dick. I'm gonna see Did you wear the elf? Yeah, this is all. Yeah, she's she's great. Whoa Do you think Pinkie doll has done porn? Look up Pinkie. Yeah, please Pinky doll has done porn. Look up Pinky. Yeah, please.

Please. What are you doing? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so good. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Wow. You got me feel like a cougar. I'm going to be genuinely letting it down. It's he doesn't do porn. I'm just going to start sending. I don't think I'm sending you voice memories of me doing that.

Wow. I'm asking him. So good. This is not Pinkie doll. Damn. Somebody faking it. I was hoping she had done it. I hope she had done some full contact.

I think Pinkie doll is going to have the reverse. She's going to start with this, then go full circle. Oh, it's a typical day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a black trans sitting on a toilet is what I saw. Just now. A boner. That's what you ended saw just now a boner

Oh, Blomkin so good Suckin me while I poop so good Wow, you got me feeling like I'm a calm. I don't get it what Blomkins. I guess I get it Well,, Blumpkin? No, they're like the lady pill of a Blumpkin. Yeah, but God, no. Getting sucked while you poop. I don't want any of that. Unless it's a lady who's like me. It's bad news.

Also, the feeling of telling you, I've put some headphones on her, she's gonna be a Blumpkin. Yeah, like she's like the boy who's before he ends the long term. And then, like it's before an NBA playoff game, give her some beats by drag. She's going to start.

Also, I use a squatty potty so she'd have to come into the V. I'd be guard-wilded up. There's nothing worse than that guard-wilded. Taking a squatty potty. It's like it's freak. Yeah, but when it falls out, it's the finger roll of pooping. It really is.

It's finger roll way up. You just like, ooh, that goes pretty good. Yeah, that's a nice little thing. Sorry, don't have it, it's all clunky. Hey guys, let's talk about man scaped. If you're thinking of skipping this ad because you already have a gross trimmer that you use since college, just listen.

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That's you were in the wrestling. I was a you was your yeah, Jim is my therapy. Hold on Matthew You're on you're on I have you on speakerphone where I'm is in the middle of the better help Adry by myself. I need you I needed you That's exactly right. How do you feel do you need therapy after your nose? I was sort of using the tools I've gained. I've actually sorted through a lot of my issues. I have a lot of stuff about it. Now Matt, the Patreon really was a fucking bummer without you. I put me to hate not being there. Who's this?

Soda left. It was me, Nate and Burke. Soda to the regular episode, which actually this is going on right now, this is still better help Adred. So, yeah, stoders let me know and all the better help customers, the stoders, the fucking man. So, there is the fucking man. Uh... Yeah, we only use our tool. I use my... I just failed. I tried my nose, it's so fucked up. Yeah, you sound great. Dude, it's... I sound better now. My nose is so kind of fucked, but I try and the heart of it to be like... sound great. Yeah, I'm having a tough battle today myself Matt. What's going on? Well, you weren't here and I'm hung over so...

Yeah. Same old story. I should attend, I should get on Zoom with better help. You could. And say I have a chemical dependency. What can you do? And then I should just drunk dial better help constantly. I was 30 year old and then I'm a less than my lesser now. I don't know what the fuck's going on.

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Yeah, Trump you have a trouble squatting body now. I don't even have a squatting body here You got it. You know what really? I'm gonna send you warm. Yeah, I'm gonna send you one you guys are trying to give me the thing a rule Finesse shit once you poop with a squatting pot. Yeah, they got one downstairs. I used to use it. Tommy I'm gonna send you a travel one. Don't I have I can't try out on you You're gonna start turning over trash can't come back to the body potty dude. Yes, you can You know you can't no you can't it's flat on my suit everybody Pop it up like an assassin putting together a rifle In a fucking mario Really yeah, you bring it when I was with you

You were bringing him when I was with you? Dude, all the nips in the party. You were a complicit. You were a part of my fucking travel Scotty body. Yeah, you did rules. This TSA guys must be like, holy shit. This freak away, this guy's dumping so hard on you. Oh yeah. I go, Scotty body, scotty body. Scotty body.

Wow, you got me pooping like a video roll You got me shit like a finger roll you should get a TikTok going you're good at it. I got I got time now Well, thanks Charles thanks Marcus. Well, Scotty party got me poop it took I'll do it. Please do. Do you have any things to do? Please do it. Do it. Yeah.

You probably make like $10,000. I call straight up, I go, I got a bad Coke for all of you. It's paid for it. But it seems exhausting because they have to do it for like fucking hours. Yeah. They do it for hours. Yeah. But if you look at the things popping, I don't know how much they're worth, but they're popping

so fast. This literally just got to be like money just that's what I say when she was trying to get off air Yeah, so funny. It's like oh Like they already paid for my Rushing to the guys on the other end like oh Dump kid shit I should why that make me come the boy on the road that's gotta be that's also gotta be that's mostly Asians in there right it seems like a very Asian I think it's white dudes who love Asians

kids I think it's kids who have restrictions on a lot of things oh they that's where they get it I think that's weird like ladies who do shit like try-on videos and shit on YouTube because you know just the nature of itself. Yeah, it's just doing it's like the quote like a kid whose parents are being good parents Yeah, this is how they find the shit that's not a note at this is their cinematics. Yeah, we used to get what song core. Yeah, yeah exactly I'm so good Just run it Car My some downloadable characters This is what you spend your money on my brother called my nephew On his iPad he was like hide the And he said, I was on the headset with a playing video games. And I hear he grabs it. He's like, sexy games. And he just,

my nephew goes, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm in there. Yep. You got me sexy games sexy the game is a sexy dude I remember our basketball coach at my high school I didn't play basketball, but one of my buddies was on the team and he said that His he caught his son jerking off to basketball But I was like I don't think that's what it was. I think he was jerking to something else But that sucks to think your dad caught you to jerking So then you're watching the game and goes, is this new enough for you? It was full court

Provide him. I probably just look over while they're watching the game. It gets too excited about a fucking shot. Yeah, that was a wide open shot. Dude, you sound like the game like you just turned off the TV. And he's in the bass line. Swipe the jam. This is like an erotic, right?

A little boy going to basketball games. He's like, why you got it? He's playing his hair. Oh, god. You ever He's spying his hair. Oh, God. You ever see the video that like there's like a high school or college or whatever, but it was a gay dude who does the cleaning like the floor sweat. He's like sliding out. I can't describe.

That's fun. That is fun. Everybody's getting a weird chill like that. I was always so hack. I just like big titties. Yeah. That was like the hackiest Just like oh you like it's because we weren't we didn't have we couldn't get in a Traccess and also you never saw massive jugs

When you got yeah, when you caught a glimpse of some massive when you do those are the fat lady in the grocery store It was a fun fat joke. It's just swamp monsters a teacher. Yeah, like a skinny skinny hip fat head. Yeah Back when ladies were ladies not when they're all a eyes. Yeah, I used to jerk off the human women and dogs What was that nothing yeah, dude, they're doing a face, someone told me they're doing a faces of death movie? That's kind of dope, actually. Oh yeah, and I think my buddy, Jermaine, is part of it,

Jermaine Fowler, but I, what do they gonna do? What do you mean? I think they're gonna do the thing, you know how they did the movie? Oh, like about when it came out. I think they're gonna do that. They guys who made it. How they did like the movie about Jordans.

Yeah, yeah. I think they're gonna do that with faces of death. But I was always, I was saying this recently, faces of death wasn't the crazy one. It was banned from TV. That was the crazy shit. Which one is that one? It's banned from TV.

That was where the lady just gets fucking obliterated by the train, where the guy holds up and she runs and she gets fucking smashed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like in the mist. And then the other one on that I always remember from banned from TV was there showing a Brazilian newscast Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, And it's on TV and I was like 13 and I was like Oh and Bud wire is on that big bud where he pulls out the gun and he's like you know like guns you might want

They go he's like no That was on band from yeah band from TV was the real deal. And faces of death, I feel like was fake. I was in Never Watchows. I was a kid, I couldn't tell. I was talking to one of my kids. I'm talking to this old IAM, VHS. It was like a VHS going around.

He went to the bad kid's sleepover and he had it. We went to the rich kids house who had a TV in the basement, finished basement, and we were like, we go wash it down here. And it was fucking wild. And then you had that cool when crazy shit was happening. You're like, no, this is fine, you would watch. You're like, I was looking at my shoes. Never even bitched out in front of your friends.

The first time you go, my parents wouldn't let me watch this. I have to call them. Yeah. I'm to call that. Yeah. I'm at Adam's house. Adam got faces of death. I told him we want to watch it. I told him we do the funniest was I remember shout out Mike McDaniel head coach of the Miami Dolphins.

Me McDaniel and our friend Adam had a cinematics tape that was getting passed around and I held it too long and then they were bitching about it at school. So I just said something in the middle of a class. I go, they're mad, I have the cinematics tape. And I'm like, they're all called a feds on this upload. You got to do a grenade. You pull it out. Don't forget to blew it up.

I blew that bus off in the middle of town square. You have to. But trying to take your cinema, because nobody can have it, but yours, it's your precious. Dude, and it had, why shouldn't you have a Shannon Tweed on there? Hopless. Get in fucking new Shannon Tweed. Yeah, I was blessed.

Get in there pussy eight where it's clearly her belly button. It's for the Gene Simmons. But back in the 90s, she had solid titties. Big gnats, dude. Yeah, that's pretty awesome, dude. It's like that. It was always like a, it was always a detective with a five o'clock shadow that was just four. She's married to Jesus. Yeah, she's Simmons.

Sure wasn't him being a pussy. He was a kid. Dude, it was a fucking, it was a dude with a perfect five o'clock shadow with an LA comic five o'clock shadow. Those ones that are manicured. And he was just munching box. Like I would have sharp beard. You're like, fuck an Arab.

You're just too sharp right? Yeah. What are you fucking stumbling out here and escalating the desert? You're like a perfect beard. Yeah, when you find out they're not getting their pussy, it's a real bummer. Yeah.

Because when you're a kid, you're like, oh, that's where the pussy is. I remember I tried to finger girl. I was like, I thought the pussy was way to death was I thought it was where the dong was. Yeah, just like I thought it was up front. I didn't know. I didn't know it was an undercarriage. I didn't know it was an undercarriage. The same tape. That's it. I'm gonna say. Slime it was. You remember that first time? Oh my God. You feel the inside of it. You. I remember the first time I touched pussy hair. Shout out Batman forever.

My eighth grade girlfriend. it might don't ask me that mr. Freeze. Yeah, chill out I was like, I will I When I went through the pant leg like a idiot I didn't go to the top I went to the side Short shorts. Yeah, and I remember I touched pussy hair and I was like maybe short shorts. Yeah, and I remember I touched pussy hair and I was like oh, the way I reacted I was like oh, I was telling my baby this the other day. The first time I saw Tates was it was like me and some girl went down to the school. She showed me her tips. The girls bathroom was here. The boys bathroom was here. She

showed me it in the doorway and I just go You're like Roger rabbit Involuntary just so fun. Just came out of the door. I kicked the door open to go I just saw yeah, you're the man to open and read inside I just saw it. Yeah, you're the man. You took the door open and ran inside. Like that. And then that came up and they were like, I love the kids.

Seven of the Greeks. So do you think that lady's dead? No, no, she's still around. All right. I was getting nervous. I was nervous when you see those girls that did crazy shit on your young and then like, they're evolved past the way.

Yeah, like she passed it 27. Some of them lived out. Those are lizard ladies. Well, it's all ladies that live. Those are the crawling thing. The ones that read or they go to Christian lizard put down your tits Did she how did that whole situation come about real like? You show me your boobs. She's like let's go. Here's a fine

He doesn't need to see your tits Mrs. Lizard joe he didn't I just asked that she was you know when they like a younger the fat girls get them first So it's like oh, yeah, well not always yeah, yeah, sometimes girls Yeah, today's topics seventh grade girls The bluptuous Who yet tits first I don't know about the bluptuous celebrate women who get tips first So she was like I'll show them to you. Yeah, I just I just asked when we were both standing I was like let me see and this he just Pulled it up because it was like we were I went to cap was scored that time

So she just pulled it out of her uniform Down with the sick that's what my brain did Dude, that's like that's like in high school when I got got my first blowjob and I didn't know how to act. You're like, oh, I still don't want my time being out right now. I'm like, you doing good? You doing great. You go, I can't drink water right now. She's having a tough time down there.

That's going to be tough down there. Just put a smart water on and undo the cap on a wrap. You know you do good. You're real good. You're doing your best. Thanks. Thanks. Oh. You got to put me in. I'm about to blow my down. It was so good. Oh, thanks. Thanks, thanks, Lizard Slug. Yeah. Mrs. Lizard, get your Taka out of your mouth. Yeah.

Damn. Fuck. What? Nothing bad news. You got bad news? Yeah, it's okay. It's solvable. Mrs. Lizard.

Like the dick out. Yeah, you got to, we haven't discussed it very much. I love nothing more. I did it to Reggie this weekend, to Reggie Conquest, came with me on the road. I like to, on the drive, indoctrinate African Americans into great white music. A lot of them never heard fucking Freiburg. Great. Who'd you put Reggie on? Freib bird was nice

He was pumped he was more pumped on Metallica. He was Okay showing a black and AC DC some of the bangers. Yeah, like some like hell's bells We're blasting house you like dude and you're like dong, what? And then the guitar kicks in. Oh, okay. Oh, this shit goes hard. We didn't go through any of that then. We just didn't like. We didn't get ACDC. I was saying you were getting Led Zeppelin.

Yeah. Zeppelin's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stairway to heaven, you were trying to hate. Yeah, that in free, but I listen to free bird like four times in one day. Free bird. And I was like, that's like an hour. It's so good.

It's so good. It's so good. You want to know the master level of that shit? Getting to the top unlock, gold level, platinum level even, getting black dudes into Yacht Rock. That's almost impossible. It is not.

You can get jams. You can get jams. My buddy John, I was like, he was like, no, there's no way. And he lives in Cleveland and I showed him some Yacht Rock and then like two years later he goes Yeah, you remember when you showed me that yacht rock shit That's good for relaxing

Feel good relaxing music. It's good white music. It's I'm gonna kick my feet up. I've had a long day Britzer yeah, what's a famous yacht rock saw? A lot of hollownotes how I know okay if you like any hollownotes I'm gonna put on some y'all rock that you would think is a black dude, but actually is a white dude and sometimes it's soulful. This is man. He just recently passed away by the name of Bobby called well. Okay. Her name. And I thought he was black by his name. This is y'all rock. Yeah. Why isn't this just called jazz? I guess you know, I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not gonna be a black dude. I'm not was black by his name. This is y'all rock. Yeah, why isn't this just called jazz? I Okay, everybody this is a great song, but yeah rock. He's white. You know, it's funny I will just talked about this when he passed away. He was like shappelle's neighbor Bobby called whoa

There's yes, somebody was yeah, that'sels neighbor. Bobby called what was his? Yes. Somebody was. Yeah. That's he was just described that song. How good that song was. And then how every black person was like, I'm a fuck is white. Yeah. I'm finding out. So that's that's what it is. It's. Yacht Rock is a lot of it is white dudes. You think are black. That's that's that music. Michael McDonald.

Yeah, that guy was clearly white. What Michael McDonald? Dude, first off, sometimes you will be surprised when people are like, oh shit, that's him. Cause Michael. Give me a soulful Michael McDonald. I mean, I would say all of it. Are you kidding?

Are you kidding? Are you kidding? Are you kidding? This is the white guy? This is Michael McDonald, dude. I take it back. And it, I almost like it, I mean, regulators obviously, but what he does on it,

get out of here. Am I nodding the out, Ronald? I can hear his way, but the beat throws me off. Tell me that's not a soulful. That's what it is. It is. It's good. I'm doing it.

I'm doing it. Rock is easy. Rock, don't jack you up. Beget a relaxed. Tiara. I love the enjoyment of white boy spas. Yeah. Being brought to the African Mac.

Just a full long, that's why I can't talk. That's why I can't talk. The band don't. That's why I can't talk. Everyone's out on Friday. What? Yeah. That life.

Oh wow. With Pantera. That's pretty neat. That is. That's going to be fun. But you're right. Getting hyped up. Because that's just white dudes doing black

music when you can get white guys jamming on some hardcore fucking yeah you're like like playing like Pantera respect that's tough one that's tough sell that's tough sell yeah tool easy tools and easy tool gets black dudes I'm telling you my you've played tool for some black dudes and they're like all right, I can see this. I'm I'm gonna show you the name tool. I know. I know. But you know, you said powers. Hello, but dude, if fucking champs, dude, you're telling me this doesn't. I think about think about you're in seventh grade hallway. Yeah, dude, you're walking down slowly That's you see fat tits. Hey, hey, just kicked over the door. Let me see your touch try it next time on the road Try tool 46 and do H. Come on, dude. All right. I'll give it a shot. It's the best it does make you feel like right

I'll give it a shot. It's the best. It does make you feel like, right? We're not dorks from having this shit. We can dorks all the time. Sometimes we do cool shit, like in a powerhouse. Occasionally, but knowing Shepel is neighbors with Caldwell, was neighbors with Caldwell. He was along those, yeah.

You know, Ohio, I think. Just showing up and be like, man, I keep thinking your plan. I didn't know Bobby Caldwell was right until he showing up man. I keep thinking your I didn't nobody called will was right until it died man. I really next door to him For 40 years. That's it. That's exactly it I thought he was just a white guy that took care of the place. I didn't know he was saying I can't forget. Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no You've got a lady in your house. Purse that. That's something everybody can enjoy. It's blues clues for chicks. It is. Girls will sit there all day. But you can get it. But yeah, it's fun to watch. It's fun.

Because you, why it's fun to watch it as a guy is, you see the guys that are going for either the puss or the citizenship. Yeah. But the guy's going for the, but you can just see the faces of dudes, both of them just getting wrecked. The fact guy with the Russian

chick that was like, you see that guy like, fuck, and then the Moroccan with the big dog. Yeah, yeah, where do you feel worse for? Moroccans trying so. Yeah, physically, I feel worse for the Moroccan, because he's going to have to get in that bowl of pudding eventually. Yeah, he's ducking it so hard. He's ducking it hard. I got a feeling he's not gonna hate it I mean, I feel like you're not gonna hate it the way that you like oh he's mark don't like something you have to do

What did you say you racist? What is it? Nothing I want to hear that he said it was one thing he wouldn't like is the smell Oh, and then he goes, oh, he's Moroccan He's fine with it. Get tough it out Hot summers of Morocco. He's fine But the guy I feel the worst is the dude that loves the Russian chick because What he wants is completely unattainable. Yeah, nobody it is he can just give her $10,000 a week but

And everybody in his life is gonna go you're a fucking loser and he's gonna go You know, no weather It's gonna be worth it for He's gonna nut. He's gonna be like this is the best thing. She's gonna be like fucking Clown and out of her being like This is the best thing. She's gonna be like fucking clonin' out of her being like, you're stinky fucking hell. I thought you loved her.

I don't give a fuck lady that you fucking fucking. She's gonna make her fucking clonk through right in your pussy. Yeah. I just took it to Sarajevo. But yeah, him getting the ounce of pride while they're driving would have been so just middle traffic. Just like, you know what?

How about, won't you pull it out? Just get out. It's the, it's the bar. It's the it's the fuck out. It's the hazards. Yeah, what's your fucking deal? I don't want to be so good to you. I went to the hotel It's a nice old ten I'm in the right because you're because you're 10th I'm in the red Do you understand that I'm in the fucking red? Poor guy. Yeah, it's fucking hot sister tell them that's why I feel yeah sister of the fucking hot sisters a problem She can sniff out that fucking

She's been there. Yeah, they speak cling on Yes, she's like I don't respect that bitch at all. I know what she's doing So can ugly sisters should be like your wife's beautiful. I understand why you're doing this So if you're not least sister, she should be like, your wife's beautiful. I understand why you're doing this. Yeah, but hot sisters, hot sisters, I get that slut out of here. You send her back to the front lines. Yeah, it's stolen valor.

She knows what it is. She's like, you know, love this guy. You're just coming here for our stuff. Yeah, you don't love George. Oh, Jorge, dude. Big Jorge with a Russian whore. The name of say what he does like for work. I don't know.

But I bet once it comes out everyone in the office is like, we saw what you're doing. One guy's like, nice. Yeah, he's like sick. Get that Russian. He goes, you got that Russian to poo. Not me. He's trying to fuck all that.

He was bad as shit. 20 years old. Yeah. The Russian. Just extra ass. I forgot she was only Venti. Oh, yeah. But then I was telling you when we were watching, she has that crib rod on her.

She was clearly left in a crib in an old hospital and not touched for two years. I hope they're still together, dude. Just fighting it out. Dude, what's crazy is they do after the 90 days? Yeah. That shit's wild. Yeah. Cause they get through it and then you see like,

real relationships problem. I made a huge mistake. One lady got pregnant, she's like, I don't wanna be here anymore. And you're like, dude, you're in. You locked in, you're in. Gang life. Was it what you were up? And like, was, you're in. You locked in. Gang life. Was it, was it you out?

Was it you out? Was she, I went there, was she out, brought somebody. This was, she got brought in. Yeah. Somebody was telling me there was, I didn't see it, there was a white chick from like Germany that went and lived in like an African tribe, like Hots. The guy had like three other wives.

Oh, just, you just had one German from the internet. Here's the man. He ought to say that. That's a crazy big man. The pull. Yeah. Oh, just one German from the internet Here's the man Coming back I know you are used to this living situation, but I have a new wife Helga just forget giant white Weight lady in there how did you do that? He walks out, he's like, they are not getting along.

Taxing dogs. He just makes the face. Taxing dogs. Yeah. I'm the chief now. Guys, look at the popcorn. Yeah. Dude even the chief is jealous.

How did you do that? Internet. What is this? How did you get that big white guy? He goes instant misanjara Give old to the surrounded by it Look at that What the fuck is this?

There's been an influx of giant white ladies in the sky Do that so fucking funny? I gotta find that one Yeah, 90-day f day fiance's great lady watching for you and your lady. Yeah. There's not many shows that you can both sit down and enjoy. No, most of them they like women. I'm wearing mashed potato brains. All the reality shows real housewives where they just show the same thing. Yeah. It's all the same editing. Yeah. Then again, I usually make women watch Notre Dame YouTube highlight videos. I also make my look at Ricky Waters. Look at Ricky Waters return this. I make my lady watch Monday night. Raw. That's pretty. It's pretty bad. Do you legitimately last

night? Oh, he turned on him. I never thought he was going to do it. He never catch you go. I or go like this, you got to check this out. Watch this. They never look. They don't look up from the phone. You go for real, watch this. Watch this. And then you go, this is a tiger driver 98.

That could be a little offspray. She in real time, my bad. Just before I forget, in real time last night, she saw me realize that summer slam is Saturday and I have the day off. She saw that kind of excitement, which I almost thought she took the wedding, I thought she was gonna take her engagement ring off

and be like, I don't need this anymore. Cause at one point I went, oh, Summer Slam is a Saturday? I'm gonna order pizza. I legitimately. I'm gonna order pizza. I'm gonna order pizza. I'm gonna order pizza.

Summer Slam. I don't know what Seth Rolls-Find out of the set. I'm gonna be surprised when I lose you to a second basement on the potter ice. What a guy. That's a friend of that. You're a lustful friend. Should you go, he's decent for someone know, I got a little shardores. Yeah. No, they don't wear the mask. He goes, he had gay.

That these actually gay. Muddy corn. Yeah. You can't turn to. I try. You don't think I've tried. I turn into every time the, my friend tried to throw something out. I tried.

I tried so hard. Yeah, let's, we're we at? We should switch over. Um, we're gonna do another hour if that's fine with you. You don't have to, you don't have to do it, dude. Extra extra. Yeah. Read all of that. We're gonna walk his ass and UFC real quick and then we're gonna go to the Patreon. Do it. We're gonna be at a patreon.com. Thank you for joining us. I'll get our prayers are all with you. Get well. Clean up. Can't. Yes. I'm gonna get high. Get high. You can get high right here. I'll get our prayers are all with you get well. Clean up. Yes. I'm gonna get high. Get high. You can get high right here. I don't give a fuck, dude. Goodbye. Bye.