Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 458 - Sparkle and Play (feat. Billy)

Episode Date: September 7, 2023

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Hello. After a brief hiatus we are here. Don't worry. We're back. William joins us this week, after a nice morning spent with his brother Mathew. SG is fresh off the spesh. We sing, we chit chat, and we podcast. Please enjoy. God bless you all.  New customers can bet $5 on college football and score $200 in bonus bets. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code DRENCHED  This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try for 10% off your 1st month at betterhelp.com/mssp & get on your way to being your best self Support the show and get 10% Off with the code DRENCHED at https://Lucy.co Support the show and get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code DRENCHED at https://Manscaped.com  

All right, we'll see this is it now. This is it. We just put out Hour 43 of work support dude. That was work for 43 work support Bro's talking having fun Yeah, that's it that's comedy now. I can't think of new jokes all I can think of is Isn't it funny when the cat's driving a car? Is it funny memes good that what we were I. I did explain a YouTube video at the beginning of the special.

The one kid that we were watching the Santa. What? We were one kid just like explained to me when we were watching Philly's Funnest. Yes. That was fucking crazy. Yeah. That was just explained to me for five minutes.

Oh, there it is. That's also the thing that sucks is everybody's making jokes. There's a meme about every single fucking joke. Yeah. Trail. Somebody's made a meme. Dude, you know, you know, they're doing like the little kids doing stand up. Yeah, they're doing a little kid who's doing podcasting

and it makes me never want to do podcasts again. That's gotta be nice, actually. Little kid, that one kid, that one kid, he's giving. That one kid, he's giving. That one kid, he's giving. That one kid, he's giving. That one kid, he's giving.

That one kid, he's giving. That one kid, he's giving. That one kid, he's giving. That one kid, he's giving. That one kid, he's giving. That one kid, he's giving. That one kid, he's giving. That one kid, he's giving. That one kid, he's giving. That one kid, he's giving. That one yeah, I'm about yeah also yeah, I don't think he's ever He's he allowed to work. No, I don't think he'd even work at nine to five. No, I cannot look part-time summer jobs are not the way to go Yeah, that's all you can talk about baby grog

Baby grog. He's going to LSU It is about baby grog. Oh baby grog Was that a son of some no, it's not a son of just some fucking like kind of Hispanic kid who's dad is like making him say shit, making him pretend to say shit about being good at football. Yeah, just just a large kid. They're calling him baby, grunk. He calls his dad call him baby, grunk. I think it looks like shit, dude.

If I was to say a joke, I would have pan-kicked that fucking kid. You think so? And then I would have raised up. I was like four, 10, fucking third grade. I don't really know. At least that little. Oh, he was, yeah. He's pretty big. I think like 410 fucking third grade. Out of really little. Oh, he was.

Yeah, he's pretty big. I think he can give you the business. That's nice, Adam. Make your kid like a big rock girl. First, let me do a baby grunk. Would get pancakes by Shangulous. Shangulous, Riz Lizzy, baby, dude. That's why I know him on the wrong path.

If I start looking up shit, then it's just an Indian automated voice explaining it. Oh, my god. Yeah, dude. I give those videos a go. Oh, fuck. Yeah, dude. I give those videos a chance. The new back red, you know, is coming out to the next August.

You have a very good Indian accent. Holy fucking doctor, dude. It's a good bother in those guys. You fight those old deal friends. Doctor Boo. What have I happened to, Doctor Boo? Do they kick them off, fucking the hell is he on?

Anker, they wouldn't pay him any fucking money. Anker doesn't pay me, man. You never know, that guy you know that's getting kicked off Billy falls pop squats Holy guys that boss got a better one. Yes, he's get the one guy's getting platform He's like slapping pedophiles in the face. They're shimundi. They're taking him off of What Instagram, but I think he's on X I think he's still out on that It's not a problem and I'm fucking rumble that dangerous gig, dude. One of those guys should shoot him. What? If I was a pedophile?

Oh, it's a good, yeah, there's a new bit I've been working on. You guys are gonna like this. If I were? No, they were just cops pulled up while we were filming. Just two cops pulled up to the front of the thing. We had to stop, and I was like, well, this is it.

Fellas, there's something I gotta tell you. I'm addicted to job, we're not. I had a feeling one day the authorities were gonna get me, looks like this is it. It's just take out a gun, be like, all right, you guys have all been pretty cool. You've kind of been a piece of shit. You're coming with me?

No, that's the fun. That's cute. That is the move of the mall shooter. Remember the dude I was telling he's obsessed with Danny Phantom and shot up the mall or shot up the grocery store. Yes, there's no He did the fucking you're the worst. Yeah, like the one chick. He took out. It's in the note He hated his manager, so he shot all these people in the night. He just said he was gonna be like You've done nothing wrong, but you just got a girl and shot her toys

You've done nothing wrong, but you just got to go in shorter It's the most infuriating documentary on this. Oh, it's crazy And he made he was like a internet guy. He was a youtuber. So he was like yeah, I mean He was obsessed with Danny fan. I thought he was a car. He thought he was gonna be reincarnated as a cartoon character cartoon ghost girl He wanted to be a ghost girl. I get it. I get the idea that I can understand shooting up a grocery store And thinking I'm coming back be a ghost girl. I get it. I get it. I can see that I can understand shooting up a grocery store And thinking I'm coming back as a ghost girl. I am gonna be a cartoon on a show. Well, it's got to be crazy It's got to be jeeples on a crush. I'm gonna be like skit to friending now. You have so much more stuff that you're all from It's got to seem like much more real. Yes More real yes

As you being schizophrenic with the Oculus having fucking social media dude that's fucking crazy say a thing a guy likes it You're like he knows exactly the message on this hot on putting out it's yeah, well, I get we get DM's from Drew Yeah, yeah, yeah, some skits of friend people will hit you up and Everyone in DM anybody now They hit me up, and'm like, fuck dude. I should get to get a friend and crush me on Twitter today. They'll get you man. I got it was a tweet and it was like, I'm usually, I hate to say this.

I'm never wrong about this. I can tell by the way Shane's breathing, something tragic is coming soon. He's gonna have congestive heart failure soon. I was like, no. I'm like, all right, I'm done searching my name today He's got yeah, it was like I could tell by his breathing. It's like James Gandalfine I don't think it's that bad. Hey everyone's either psychologist or a health fucking professional

That's so funny that awake up in the morning See how the fucking Reviews it. Let's see how the fucking reviews are. Let's see what the reviews are for the specials. Like, I can tell you he's gonna have a heart attack. The time on Earth is limited. It's like, I hate this. I don't want to say this because I love him,

but I can tell there's a tragedy coming. I was like, for out, that's a good way to stop. I'm gonna go get some more. It's actually one of the huge compliments you can get though. What's that? One of the best thing a person can do in your position is to die tragically and become mythic. Yes.

So basically, that's just a nice way of him being like, man, this guy's great. He's a woman. Oh, it's even better. She's even more connected to the future. Oh, they're even more, yeah, they're more psyched. But that was like a wild death nag. She's just trying to fucking.

That is a nice, you should fucking. She's like, he's going to be a real. Obviously, it's a death nag. And I did whack off, it did work. No, I thought about that legend death on the flight home. The day the special came out, I was like, plane crash today would make me. Should have bought a white light. Should have bought a white light.

What's that? Should have bought a white light. What do you mean? That's all the fucking famous rock stars die with white lighters. No, I'm gonna get more. Yeah. 27 club lore. Yeah. I don't feel rock stars die with white loaders. No, I'm gonna get more. Really? Yeah. Twenty-seven club lore. Yeah.

I don't feel like coming up with a new hour. I'd rather just fucking get child porn on your phone and get and cut yourself live. No, it's a bad idea. Just trial on a petrol. No, what you do is just go out and it's for the rest of your tours you have booked. Just a meeting greet. Just a meeting greet.

You do that. I know. It's their final tour. I know. And then come back. Just a mean. Just a mean. Dude, do that. I know. It's their final tour. I know. And then come back. I saw that mean. I wrote a mean greet towards our New Zealand.

You also do from a mean. That's a notification. That's an L dude. Cheb and Chase, he does that. I saw him in AC. I was there for my cousins, my, or my buddy's mom's birthday. Well, he didn't stand up.

He didn't do stand up. He just did like a fucking Christmas vacation, like chill out, sash, meet and greet, say didn't stand up. He didn't do stand up. He just did like a fucking Christmas vacation, like chill out Sash meet and greet say hi to his wife. He's very chill. He's a Pat. He greets the literally the worst part of stand up. Trail. I don't mean that like a shitty way against meeting people. It's just you don't want to meet 3000 people. It's uncomfortable to meet 500 people. Yeah. And take a compliment over and over again. Take a comment over and over and over. And then an occasional just stray, incredibly mean thing. Yeah, what the hell?

Just like, yeah, I liked your first special better. This one you could tell you were trying too hard. So I'm just fucking insane. Thank you. Thanks for coming to Michigan. You fucking fat piece of shit. Ha, ha, ha. I was in a simple camp in the neighborhoods.

I did that. What? I looked at like one of the star players on the high school team with them. I could take you as a joke And I'd never thought of ever saying anything to anyone again. I'll never Pro just as a joke. I looked him out. He's way bigger. I mean I said I could take you. I still do that That's a fun joke. It was a fun joke. I got the fucking triangle with Rogues. It's fun to do that to people to be like

Yeah, I'm definitely yeah, I'll tell you what it Rogues Rogues bodyguards did not love my ribbing after the are. I'm definitely, uh, yeah. I'll tell you what, Rogi's, Rogi's bodyguards did not love my ribbing after the puck. I was doing it to them too. I was like, you guys are lucky. I don't beat you guys. I hate fucking around. They did not like it.

Yeah, they don't like that kind of stuff. I was like, you understand the joke is that I'm, I have no shot. What was that saying? They just being like, yeah, man. Yeah, I was like, I was kind of like, I was like, the fucking canine dude. Yeah, but the one guy, I'm friends with them.

I hung out with them 30 times. You know me, bro. I was out with them 30 times you know me bro I'm like you guys know me. It's something Observe right mad at me. I'm absurd and wrong. Yeah, dude now it could be time to get the plane crash ready Don't bring out the bright black Pawdler jumper not as chill be sure no I'm saying just chill and reset yeah playing crash No, I'm not a chill and reset car crash the only way I'm coming over the new hour I'll walk sports car obviously get a fucking new car that has like a smart car technology and Paul walk out

No, I can't get shit Jamie Foxx had and just have like a mystery disease for like six months. That's the goat is normic Just nine years of fucking blood cancer. Yeah, that silence. Yeah That is the way everyone gets a text like hey, dude fucking cancer. You shouldn't tell us about you have dude I'm the second I'm good. I tell everybody if I get a cold true I tell I told everybody about my stubbed pinky toe There's no way I'm keeping Cancer to myself. Did he keep it back? Do you have cancer? Yeah, strictly. Yeah, Adam. He said he didn't know. Damn, and he get was like his bro. And he just was like, yeah.

That's a tight way to handle it though. Yeah, I'm not telling anyone. Yeah, we knew I don't know. Did you work for, Brez? Yeah, yeah, dude. This guy did it with a brain tumor just Capacwai. Yeah, you told me this one. Yeah, just beast. Complete didn't tell anyone beast it out when to ramp with a surgery died on the table. Yeah, the minute something would inconvenience me. Easier you to say you don't have

fucking brain cancer. I'd be. Sereneering up. Yeah. I only have a few fucking months left, dude. Shut up. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, as soon as I put like this shit in the wrong spot of the dishwasher, you'll be like, OK, well, that's fine. That plates are your concern. I'm dying. Yeah, store up the steps They wouldn't they'd be like I'm so sorry everybody would be chill. Take whatever Yeah, they'd forget about it be like you're still here, dude. Yeah, I thought you were dying

Yeah, what's up? What's up? What's your ball, baby? And let's take you back in there and get a fuck Yeah, let's get a recount on this body scan. See what's up Yeah, well, wait they you know, they don't want you to do that they want to have this stuff yeah they also love taking care of a sick man oh yeah it is so fucked up the craziest is when women just poison people like that yeah that's like the that's obviously this is a common thing it probably might not even true but that's what most female like Ciro goes to was just boys and just make people sick

and take care of them. Yeah, Munchows in my proxy. There was those ladies in the medieval times used to like suck the lepers, wounds and stuff. They're sick. Yeah, they were like the mystic ladies. They would just find lepers and like suck their sores and just try to like suck the juices out of them.

Fucking right, dude, that must have been awesome to be a leper. Yeah, dude. See, that shit coming finally one day. a leper. Yeah dude. See that shit coming, finally one day, some awesome comes. Some awesome lady comes. No man, it's like a hot tube. It's a suck me and licks me.

It's a bunch of nuns, young nuns, which sucks your wounds and you be like, you're gonna talk Instagram holes, that's what I'm deep in is Baldwin. Baldwin. Baldwin from the Jerusalem from Kingdom of Heaven, the Lord of the King. Oh yeah.

That's big in the Sigma community. What? The guy with the mask, Baldwin from Kingdom of Heaven, you'll see him. Medieval dude that wears a face mask. What's it? What exactly is a Sigma male? It's not not alpha nor beta. Come on. It's just what I'm saying. Like, you know, I have more. It's like somebody that's mean to women kind of. Yeah. Is that what it is? It's, it's, it's, they just, I love to lift. I don't talk to women. What's it your mega male? I don't know I thought I thought there was a mega sigma sigma. I mean me and Spear were talking about that forever ago on your guys podcast

Me and Sigma people talking dead serious. Yeah, yeah, can't go around People are out there taking do honestly take themselves to be a sigma obviously Can't go around anymore dude nothing's off limits. Yeah, the joke. I do take back the plane crash joke I don't want put that hex on me. No, that's a crap way to go. Plank crash. Yeah screaming like a freak to your death I honestly got I don't think I would I said I would just be super pissed and make you fuck what if you got like What if you died from like a heavy turbulence heart attack? We're like I could easily have that dude on the flight back to guy was like all right We'll get ready. We're about to hit some pretty severe

turbulence over Memphis. And I was just white knuckle in the seat in no turbulence. We didn't hit anything. Guys, fuck it. I was just like off. They did it on the way back to San Diego. They give you an announcement. You're like, all right, this one,

even this guy sounds a little fucking nervous. I watch the flight attendance like a little kid watches like a doll Some kind of like yeah, she looks fine. They're always fine. They're never not stone faced They're never not although I've been on so many planes with medical emergencies. Yeah, really? That's when you get a little scared because I've the headphones any came here anything and then you see like two stortuses run to the back You know like some dude having a fat attack. Yeah. Want your fat attacks, geese attacks. Ever since the Vex came out, dude, whatever. It's funny they're trying to roll the vid back out and everyone's like, dude, we're not doing it.

Everybody gets in the I think we should shut up and give it back to COVID. Time for us to get COVID. It took Smash Mouth away from me. They took our Smash Mouth. I don't do. I was saying to fucking sing dead serious on the phone the other day. That's pretty fun. Right. It's fucking insanely hard to do. Making your bro sing as hard as he can. Like dude, it's kind of nice. It's so fucking hilarious. Will you hit us with one? What's it? Give me a song. Anything you want. I think

you got thing. One that's what makes it fun. Dead serious. You can't. You can't be fucking I hold it. I'm begging for I've been waiting this moment. I do currently have COVID-19. So I'll hit you first. Give you a time to... Dallin' you, send me, Ooh, little Otis. Dallin' you, send me, honest you do. You hear me? That's cheating, huh? Whoa!

That's with COVID-19. That's nice and I have a minor cold as well. Yeah Touch ah you blew it. Yeah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. You're a really good singer. You're actually a really good singer though All right, I was holding back a little bill your turn. I was a cappella. I'm trying to think of what I what I sing last time. I forget The crystal no you know I can't that that's how I I'm trying to think it's not a guy from the diaphragm from the diaphragm Die from the diaphragm from the diaphragm Fucking give me something let's give on something Come on dude you can do I'm thinking of a song you know a million songs I know but on the spot like this and try to Yeah, it's on the song I sang I can't remember the song I sang. I can't remember the song I sang.

That was the song I sang. No, that was the song I sang to you. That's the one Phil always sings. I know. I've tried to think of the song I sung to you. What I was in the Fargolot. I never knew. I never knew that everything was falling through.

Are you serious? He's like that, Sirus. That's just like you can be a triplet of that. I never can't sing like that. Sing it loud. From your diaphragm What you're going to go you can project louder than that. Oh, no way. Oh, Him build it out please bill

Sing the immigrants on that's You're good at I mean I'm just literally if I'm warming up the Lemisey F baby, hit us with something nice. Yeah, dude. I know you got a song in your head. Sing for real as good as you can. What? What? Sing as well as you can right now. I get so weak in my knees, I can hardly...

You're speaking, dude. You got to sing. That's how I sing. No, sing. Come on, man. I know you guys. I know you guys don't try to say I guess a week My knees I can't do it You guys are on our tanners. What about jukebox hero? Oh, you can sing that What's dead in the rain? Ooh. You can sing that. What?

Standing in the rain. He's got one guitar. Bound. There's an app where you can figure out like what songs are your songs. You're key. Yeah. Yeah, I'm like EA sports.

It's in the game. Ha ha ha ha. What about um, You gotta be able to sing. There's gotta be one song you belt, dude. Black magic woman There's not it's like That's not a lot of song that's more you get that's so much song

We're not chumbo on the was trouble Well, what was it gummy bear song He sent me I'm a gummy bear I'm a yummy yummy gummy gummy gummy bear I'm in the hot dog song from no that was a big one for my nieces and nephews It's like a Disney it's like all the Disney characters dance is like hot dog Big dog That's many or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse hot dog I've been destroying the bar next to me that shit hold on dude Dude I need you to sing don't try to change the subject. Yeah, you know hook for this

Dude is close your eyes. You're in a room. You're in gibberish. See the greatest show no Greatest showman never show me. Yeah, that's all that shit dude. You see that. No, that's fucking theater kids I'm a theater kid now. I'm a series actor now. I think my theater kid, Nees, that's like top five for it. What? Fucking greatest show. Try to show him and do the song.

The one song we'll make you cry. What is it? Yeah, I know what it is. I'm a father's words wanna cut me down. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, That dude. Oh, Riley. Oh, oh, parts.

Come on, dude. Can you sing? Can you sing a pop of a road? I used to watch it on the box. Can you sing can you sing a Papa Roach I used to watch it on the box. I know you can sing it. I don't know the song I don't know the words cut my life into pieces. This is my last resort suffocation. No breathing don't give a fuck if I cover your Pretend it's wrong. It'd be right If I took my love tonight Can you do a do re me like a do re fa-soul Ati do you can never sing? Did you try to do what he just do?

Do it do-ray me fa-soul and pinch your nose if your nose affects If you're a thing waivers when you pinch your nose you're not singing from your diaphragm Perfect diaphragmatic for singing. What do you do? You're nasal singer. What do you do? Okay, don't worry me fa I saw a lot of you do. I'm not doing same clothes right now. Do it right now. Ah.

One more vocal chords. Yeah. No, I need you to sing this. Dude, just one little. I want you to try this. One little song. I don't know. You're gonna break through.

You're gonna know what's better. You're gonna feel better. You're gonna feel better. Which one do you want? Fear of love, dude. We're choosing love. We're singing. Me and Matt choose love. We're like a chorus of angels. You're gonna break through you don't know what's going you back here. Love dude, which one do you want? Yeah fear love dude We're choosing love. We're saying it me match. Who's love a course of angels Beauty in the beast Lemisey f baby please say the baby give us a song brother

Bull crap do we sing I tried to say every time I sing chains as that's's not your holding back, dude. You're going bill bill. You're like whispering bill. I love you one life to live. I love you too. That's too legit to quit. Well, let y'all look. If you want to burst out in song at any point just jump in dude. Give me the next Cario that's all let me see that tootsie roll Evan essence Evan essence, I don't know the words. Oh, so get the lyrics What I will get we'll come back. We have no we can't let go dude. He's getting strong. We got to get this come on brother Don't we love you what like what's like a 70s rock song?

You know everything what's like a 70s rock song? You know everything what's like a 70s rock song so man, you're the cat you're the cat Come on if I start thinking the words I can't fucking remember I'm stage right right now you got a stage Okay, that's my stage gods true. I mean I wait I'm more of a two-take guy Let me see please I know you're looking at lyrics. Let me get one you guys you ready sing Yeah Yeah, you are Now let's show the starting song game

Okay Um Bam bam bam bam It's good uh BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM B That's better than the bill. Bill, you got this, dude. You got it, go. Just one little ditty. I'm trying to think of a lady, we met. Lady, you know. Come on, you got this riff, something. That's the problem, we're friends.

Oh, blue eyes. And I did it my way. What has he got? When I was 17 I whacked off I got caught whacking all dude you're gonna regret you're gonna get home tonight and go god damn it dude

the hell I'll think of something what about just like a chorus like you're so good they do now you're showing off I was back at showing off that was like a certain that was really good whatever I got cursed by Matt when we live together he was like you're showing off. I'm not showing off. I was not showing off. That was like a certain that was really good. That's whatever I got cursed by Matt when we lived together.

He was like you're a good singer. You think I did not need that. You're a good singer for several months. I was like I'm telling you dude. Game recognizes game. I went what the hell. Yeah. I got a little Motown in there.

Boy he's carrying a tune dude. A little black in. I'm not saying that but I am saying that. I watched the Elvis movie. I can't do that. I just saw it. It sucked. I thought it was actually pretty decent.

Dude, that was so much fun. I thought it was a nightmare. I thought it was captivating, but I took the fucking music they put in. It was infuriating. Yeah, I heard people say that, so I was ready for it. And I was like, man, it's not the end of the world, but dude, I was like, yeah, maybe he like, they just have a sweet life

and I saw when the guy starts to fuck him over and it's like, I had to turn it off. He's like, I can't watch this man. You see, when they get him to go to back to that like shitty hotel and just start staying in Vegas rather than going out with like the bros and going to the international, I saw that starting to happen. I was like, shut it off.

I can't do this to me. I loved it. I was like, I didn't know why people loved Elvis so much. I started watching the movie. I'm like shut it off. I can't I can't do this to me I love that I was like I didn't know why people love the Elvis so much start watching the movie I'm like dude he's I will say that I will say that I always kind of fucking hated Elvis Yeah, my whole life I was like Elvis fucking blows I know and then I yeah, I had no idea when that movie came out I started you know, yeah His Elvis became popular so I was like all right. Let me check it. Let me see what this is about Yeah, some fucking bangers Dude, there's a six story in the very beginning he catches the spirit became popular so I was like, all right, let me check it. Let me see what this is about. You know that's some fucking bangers.

Dude, there's a sick story. In the very beginning, he catches a spirit. And he starts to just, dude, turn in the ladies on. I mean, I also was like, wait, why the fuck were they so excited about that? They can see it in the movie. The guy's just shaking his dick back and forth. Yeah, exactly.

It's like sick. Yeah. Nobody did that either. Yeah. Everyone has sit there and it's be like, yeah, it's sitting from God damn. Yeah, I started screaming. Bernie had a grab house in New Orleans.

Are you the one that showed me the fucking James Brown just going? Yeah. After the hours of the hours. Fantastic. Yes. Yeah. Come on. Fuck. The role of stones were hated. Let's go before met. He was to met for it. It's PTSD. Yeah.

Same sounding cards. We're not cut. We have like swamp ass in our family. Swamp ass? We fart. It's always human as hell. We mean, oh, human. Yeah, we have like wet.

We just walked. It was 100 degrees now. We have leather couch. There's definitely got swamp ass. Maybe it is the leather. We're the leather board swamp ass. I feel like my farts are so wet on this podcast. You do yours are more Arizona farts They're like yeah, I do it. Yeah, I like a tight with like red better of a tight whistle You know what I'm saying?

No one's getting in there, but me and I get in there. Don't let me fucking lie to you. I'm getting in there. I'm experimenting I'm trying out new things. I'm saying why does my eight fucking I got an oil slick Like you you mentioned having oil my ass. You got an oil slick up But right now some type of rash. I think oil slick oil slick You talk about you have an oily like butt. Yeah, I think what happens is a turd is a stuck and then it starts to slowly Mel and just like I'd be like a mucus to pause it. That's a polyp that pops at some point like four feet inside of yourself perhaps I don't know I could I hope your ass crack. Don't worry about what's going on You need to sing

My game sing I made the game. I know you made the game. Now participate in the game. Every time I try to try. I swear to God. I swear to God. I swear to God. I would do it. Sing it to the sound. I'm a real by morning. Up from San Antonio. You got nothing that I got. You're wavering. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. Don't get nervous and lash out. Just say. You can say Johnny Cash. You got a nice deep robbery. No, dude. I was a high. I was a high

I was a damn builder I was a highway man Along the coach roads I did ride what's one about Steve sort of best old by my side that I think that I Was a sailor What about the horn of me Japanese? What's Well, it's something I'm turning Japanese. Yeah, it's like, Japanese, I think I like it. Yeah, that's a good one.

All right. Don't do just sings we can move on. Otherwise, the whole podcast is going to be us Tony to sing for an hour. We're singing. I sound like a fool when I sing. You're a great voice. Thanks, man.

I'm just saying that. That's sing. You have a great voice. Thanks man. I can't just say that. That's funny. You told me I had bitch hips and we lived together and I was like, That's because I got a chicken. I cursed with that. That's grown up with chicken. We've talked about it so many times. I did.

Lying on my side, watching cartoons in the morning and my sister just goes, You got bitch hips and I was just like, That's like, I was like, that fucking ape becoming sentient just, that was a curse and it traveled all the way to Philadelphia and I was sitting there with the man, I was like,

bitch, he opened the jar, he was like, yeah, it's like now this plague is on to somebody else. I do it all the time, I'll be sitting there, I'm like, I don't know, I just fucking have these like bitch hips. I'm in like fucking hips right here

I got liver king was upset about having fucking back fat. That's why he said it was on steroids Wait, you want a little bit of fat that hangs over his back? That's kind of alpha. So he spent 15 grand a month out of a concert of me miles Davis You got to have yeah, let's hear it. Let's hear the fuck This won't happen to the foodie Yeah, yeah, my blue my bamboo god damn come on man get into it We should head down in patente sea right now. Yeah, yeah, man. It's cutting out right now. I'll go down right now We go down and just like we go down to muscle souls

Come on you can sing sweet home now, Bama. No. That's racist, Phil. That's not racist. No one entertainer in the world. Come on. Free bird. Huh? Who?

Oh, my God. You can be stage-rate, number one entertainer in the world. Okay. What do you expect, dude? Come on, man. You used to sell and out shows, theaters. Please do. Do not do this thing something. Don't say that. Jimmy Muffin honored him. I won't honor him.

Yeah. You look at 40. You know the words of that. Come on man. I know Mark Garouneville. Do you know any songs? I'm sorry. You're Macarons. It's a curse that I fucking I love all the songs I fucking sing. You can't sing dude. It's mental. You can't sing. You can't sing. You've got a couple of cut from the same cloth dude? No, you guys can sing. We're meant dude. It's been adopted I Heels you dude I suckled you yeah I'm still live with that fucking plate you clapped onto that

Come on brother, please no do for me, dude, please I tried twice now you guys just playing a nasty prank No, they were for me dude, please I tried twice now you guys just playing a nasty prank The power we say it's a prank yes You hit me with the corner, dude you know the part the zipper I'm we were talking today Again, it was a bill is early some more than talking to sp's in France. And you guys, I don't know why you guys, I thought it was a great idea. I'm trying to convince Spud to go to a Gucci store in some other country, shit his pants,

and Spud's idea was to shoot. Spud was saying if you shoot your pants, you can totally call the ambulance. In a foreign country. And if you call the ambulance, you can shoot your pants. I was like, dude, I will raise a fund. I wanna get it to 20 G's for Spud to shit himself in a burberry store film the whole thing I then call the ambulance and have them take them out

I'm sure It's not worth 20 He's worth 20 G's Dude so bad would you do it for 20 G's? I shit myself for 20 G's I shit myself in the burberry store in a burberry store and have them carry you out 20 G's I shit myself in the burger in a burger story and have them carry you out Just go comatose and have them fucking carry Do it to get out of the fucking shopping trip and pretty yeah

Shopping trip with a woman you just have to stand and shit your pants. I'll be honest. I've I've Did it for free piss. Yeah, you gotta look you got a necessity. You got to look woman dead in the eyes like a toddler and just Dude full balloon did that I get it now I get into it now I put out this you got like it really gay and I'm like no No, no girl take that back. Oh you get into that's really I guess that's the only thing you can do It's one way to conquer it. I just got fully into it. I'm like no try try this Yeah, the funny thing is it's all looks fine. You're like put that on like oh my god I've never thought of that you're so good at this like it, I saw it on the mannequin. I was totally put it Yeah, I remember back in the day. Did you ever go to a dresser room with a lady? Yeah, and like I didn't know as an adult like I was like she'd be like come in with me. I'm like I'm not allowed in there

She's like you're fucking totally allowed in the dress room with me. You can do whatever you want That's crazy. You go shot. Yeah, no dude. You can it's you it's totally cool. Everyone knows what's up No, you just well dude dude. How do you not grab that's like that? Darton home at your school anytime. Anytime a woman's changing from me. You're gonna Paul you can Paul They love it. Yeah, but they you know you get down to business. We go that's like one cooking woman washing the dishes It's Paul time. Yeah grab ass. They all that fucking share So let's have sex in the fucking car like after you're fucking 16 or 17 That's just not cool to do. No, I'm not saying have sex there. I'm not saying have sex there

It's good. You get that it. I'm saying get back into the dressing room and then start going oh Go by yourself and make noises trail and they go, what are you doing back there? And you go, I just love these fucking jeans. I love these pants from Target. Oh, these long furloughs slacks. Oh, Bill, come on, you're cutting cheese on my couch. It's my favorite guy. I dropped my bag of marble.

How much would it cost for you to walk down the street with two giant dildos and fucking just weapons playing? Got right there. I mean, you guys are too much. No, I'm serious. It's all being a good boss stuff. You're absurd in Roger right now. It's a good boss stuff.

It's at fart stinks like Comm, dude. Dude, it's gonna be a main industry. I just had to go to Nordstrom's by myself. That's why I just got to fart in the red zone. What? I smelled that. Smiles like Comm. I saw bubbles on this road.

I saw bubbles come out. Now until you sing. Have you sing it off? You use it as a tool against me. What if you do? What's a song you can sing to him to be like back off me like a yeah, get behind me. I'm playing these games. Yeah, something like Mother my dancing No, the dude who does the bench press by himself, the old man. No. Oh yeah, he takes a shot.

Two seventy five slim, thirty seventy three years old. Two seventy five body weight for one. That's how you wrap. You wrap. I was sitting next to Rick Flair at a bar two days ago. All of a sudden. And there were young like Texas, like UT girls on the other side of the bar and he was just pointed the ladies like they were like no. He just kept going.

Nature boy was like you come here. He was a little fucked up. old. He was a little fucked up to. Yeah, he's old. He was gazed. He was drinking. Waka Flaka flame was there. Best answer ever been to my lock. Waka Flaka's the man. He's the crazy farmer. We went to a bar. And it was not a big boy.

Rick Flare and Waka Flaka. Rick Flare and Waka Flaka both just happen to be there. I saw his interview on Club Che Che. I was a big fan of Waka Flaka. Waka. Waka's a man. He was a man. Obviously he's cool.

Yeah. That was literally the best answer ever. So open for Drake. Andaka? Waka's a name. He was a name. Obviously he's cool. Yeah. That was literally the best concert ever. So I'm sorry I was doing it. Open for Drake and I thought it was better in Drake. Waka Falka? Yeah. Maybe live, maybe in concert.

In concert? Because Waka. Hardin Live is going to be an amazing set. Oh, damn it, yeah. It was at the Camden Falkin Campbell Suit place. Can you sing that song? Word for Word. No.

That's absurd in Rontje of you to? No. That's absurd in wrong. You have to even ask. That's fun dude. That's guys have fun. Come on. It's got to be a major industry. I saw him go live on on camera. Yeah.

It's coming dude. Guys have fun on camera. Roblox will replace all the workers. There's always famous YouTubers that that's all they do. They don't do stand up or sing or anything. Guys have dreams about what ever the hell you want on a podcast you better. More jet Holy fucking whatever. Where did you chip your tooth? I've chipped it. I mean Jesus Christ. That's me I chipped it fucking Three years ago. What that's pretty recent. Were you drunk? I was someone hit me

I remember that I was drinking by like the hit the fucking bottle and chip my tooth. Who did that? My cousin. I think fucking asshole. What a jerk. I go hauled in the month. Yeah. There you go. What you thinking? What? What? What? What you thinking? That's the song. Yeah. What you thinking? That was on the table at the concert though. Oh dude. Yeah. Yeah, rolling in Where's my 99 Safe space Safety next hit them with the Safe space

That's crazy. The Miguel concert was even worse. Why'd you go to the Gell concert? I went to Miguel open for Cia, but I wanted to know Miguel song. I had I won't sing it anymore because we were there Dude, it was my fucking wedding song dude. It's a wedding song. Yeah, dude Was it yeah, the Britney dance on you a Tim ago. No, that was once you did the dance number My family is like Pretty glad to He's laughing he's out he's lashing out He's laughing. He's lashing out. He's in the hot seat. He's laughing because he's in the hot seat. He tried to hit me. He's like a fucking red dude. He's my wife performing

doing for cancer. You are a little red dude. My wife performed a beautiful dance for me dude. He was nasty. He was nasty the other day towards me. He's coming. Oh my god. He's serious. No, take back back takes back takes back takes back. It's coming for him dude It's almost wedding time for you. You're any rice in here. I'm like All right, this is not how the podcast should go It's starting to paint for all of us. Let's start over. Let's be friends. We're being friends I want to do the Miguel concert and fucking Miguel Tell me my wedding stuff

Right back straight back Miguel told everyone to stand up and start screaming fuck Donald Trump. What'd you do? I sat and I waited for the fucking 2016 election I sat wait for the 2016. I was showing there's like this is so fucking good dude. I actually I actually have to issue an apology. What? The band. I went to when we did this podcast 2018 I think. Yeah. I went to a concert and I trashed the band. Hey Wilco. There's Mount Mount Joy. Oh, really? Yeah, I was like they fucking did some dumbass song about police brutality. It shit sucked. Did they do it?

It got back to me. Mal Join was like, what the fuck dude? I was like, my bad, you guys are cool. Did they do some like fucked up family shit? What do you mean? They did do this all in a? Yes. Okay. But I was in the, it was more because I was with a 23-year-old girl.

Yeah. So I was like 30 sitting there. Everybody here sucks dude. Everybody, all the dudes are fucking like in shape and at ponytail It's a fucking gay Me while I was just fat and 30 sit there. I was an open-micro and filly like yeah, I'm actually the coolest guy here No one even knows All these guys singing sock. They're the ones who are the guy that's the best thing to do is go to a concert

Be like the guy on stage is the one who sucks not me Yeah, I went to a devil master's concert. That was sick. I tried to hate on Bruno Mars He's a showman. I had no idea. He's in for the show of my life Bruno Mars might be number one. He's a fantastic performer. Yes, did he get political? No, no, this is pretty Pretty tough dog. Also, I don't think I don't think Bruno Mars will get political I think he's like cocaine and having a good time. I think so. I think, come on guys, chillin'. Come on, that's that fun.

Yeah, that's a, you'd say, I was in the back for that one. What? I went to my wife, you get like Elvis' eyes on Bruno Mars. I did, I brought my girlfriend at the time. And she, she told that to me. Yeah, of course, dude, the guys are fucking drinking. They're dancing, I mean.

They're dancing and I'm like, all right, so you like the opposite of him. Yeah, of course, dude, the guy's a fucking dream. He's up there dancing and I'm like, all right, so you like the opposite of me. Yeah, so it's what you're into. Yeah, so he's like a universal. Yeah, he's awesome. Yeah, he's like an electrifying singer, kind of bad boy with a cocaine. Is he really?

Yeah, he got caught with cocaine, dude. Yeah, he's a bad boy, he's a rock star. He got caught doing coke. He got caught with him. He's a white man, dude. He's 24-carat magic in the air. Yeah I hope he's alright though. He doesn't come a cocaine addict. You will I don't care what he does I hope he's living life the I hope he's addicted to cocaine banging out

It's not all those cool guys did cocaine probably yeah, but still must be the best feeling in the world cocaine No being on cocaine to a sold out fucking arena, and you're dancing in singing. Fucking nuts. Yeah. It's probably the best feeling in the world. And you're good at it. That's the trick. Because everybody that does cocaine

starts dancing in singing. Yeah, I should have him bed, breath. And having ideas and terrible breath. These guys are doing it, and people are like, this guy's unbelievable. Yeah. James Brown. You ever see those videos on Instagram

where it's like they're at like a rap concert or some shit, and the dude has his, it's a they're at like a rap concert or some shit and the dude has It's a girlfriend and their boyfriend and the girl starts hitting on the fucking dude in front of holding up the cellphone They got fuck you. Oh my god. Oh, yeah, I watch it. You know, I want to kill my gotta walk away Yeah, you gotta go or just instantly yeah, just pretend you're gay become a cock hold Yeah, yeah, I cock out like oh my girlfriend. She She wants to fuck walk a flock of that's why it's cool Well, yeah, I'd like to see that true. I wouldn't watch Yes, now you'd have to block us a family man. He's the man business man

Literally yes, so is Rick Ross Rick Ross bought a fucking farm and it's just interesting. Yeah, you got a custom But it poured cows and shit. Yeah, look at that Really it's like it's like a tackle. Yeah, where's the farming flarter? I don't know I'll be down Florida way Florida way down Florida way Oh some oranges. Yeah Kiwis got down to the awesome. I'd want to find you know how I talk about farming dude See ultimate goal It's not it's the ultimate farming would suck one craft

Monocrop very small farm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like a Jeffersonian. We're talking to garden gentlemen I'm talking a big garden Saturn. Do you know what Saturn gardens are? What's that you build a Saturn garden It's like you just set up a garden for when you get really really bad news you walk out there and scream and cry and it's like you just set up a garden for when you get really really bad news you walk out there and scream and cry Damn, it's like walk up between like some shrubs and just be like yeah Jesus Apparently that's good for you go on the world primal screaming. Yeah, I don't like that screaming Yeah, it's what you feel when you do anything and give it that like veneer of cool Instagram stuff every it's like But I screamed last time I screamed in a real fit of rage was Notre Dame Michigan under the lights

Fucking I walked outside onto my deck and screamed is like How to feel I came back in I was all right Yeah, I came back in because I was so embarrassed about what I just don't I came back in I was like what am I doing? She didn't want back out there and be like, I'm full! Yeah, I screamed out loud. I was so mody else. Shane, get out here. Hey, Dad, get in.

You're freaking everyone out. I'm screaming out there. Yeah, there's been my real only spaz, note in USC 2005. Yeah. That was a deck screen. Yeah, I haven't spazed like I've like I Haven't spazed hard in a long time no spa. I got spazes are a little different. It's not I never scream I don't know yeah, yeah, what the fuck? No, I'm saying I still like punching like I said like Yeah, yeah, I haven't I've been I've really spazed at all. I've never really spazed over girl. It's always been no name

Lucy I broken I broken phones for talking to girls and it's fucking you smashed That's sick. I broke in like four phones Going back to like high school. I was a you. Yes Billy. Yeah, he's a he is gluten-out. He doesn't want to admit it You have a gluten-out you bro sucks This is where the time's turned on me. I love you. I love you, bro. You know I love you. The best. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. The next time you want to eat your feelings or drink your sorrows, turn to BetterHelp.

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I think the bills. I think the bills do I think the bills. Do you like would you like gave Davis score touchdown? Yeah, I like him a score touch. That'd be awesome. Super ritual. And he did a secret ritual for the secret pod. Where's the, are the jets supposed to be good?

Yeah. I heard there are. They're supposed to be good. They got air and Rogers. They got a bunch of cool guys. I do like it. And yeah, medical decisions.

Air Rogers is cool. That's a, that's a tough game. That is tough. So you're going bills Are you going to go on air Rogers do to his other bills? I like air Rogers But he's not officially a friend of the podcast. He probably would yeah Honestly, but Spencer Brown friend of the podcast. We got a lot of friends with Josh Allen friend of the podcast I just wish ever a lot of friends of the podcast on the on the Buffalo bills Yeah, we're bills and nobody circles the wagons like the Buffalo bills Yeah, we're Bills. And nobody circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills. Yeah, we're Bills nation.

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by jurisdiction. Void and Ontario CdkNG dot CO slash football for eligibility, terms and responsible gaming resources, bonus best expire seven days after an issuance eligibility into a sponsored restrictions that is nuts. Isn't that crazy? Don't lie. You've been using your man scaped ball shaver on your face. Yep. I actually have. So it's really time Even though it's on to which so it's really time to pick up their beard hedger It's a cordless trimmer with a rotary wheel that gives you 20 different hair cutting lengths, all at one guard. No more messy drawers for extra add-ons.

I mean, talk it up. I love it. I am gonna talk it up. Talk it up. How do you think I got this fucking clean ass beard? You actually have a good one. Billy does have a good beard. Billy, you got a nice beard.

You need the beard trimmer from Manscaped, the beard balls. I wish I could go on a beard. The balls on your face. Do you shave your butt with beard trimmer from Manscaped, the beard balls. I wish I could be all beard. The balls on your face. Do you shave your butt with beard trimmers? Well, I'll tell you what. I've never done it. Shave your asshole with it.

Oh, dude, it's the best. You buzz your asshole with the liver. I've never done it. Oh, it's fantastic. And then you touch your hairless butt hole and you go, ooh, what? Oh, it's the best. I really don't have too much of a hair, yes.

I don't have a hairy ass, but my ass hole. Yeah, you got pussy. Got a bit of a briar patch. Yeah. Under the nuts, I'll get the goo-jerry. That's where you find those fucking disgusting long ones. Finish it off, dude. Just keep going.

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and use code drenched. Hit the refresh button with manscaped. You're the best dude, warm out all day. I was excited, hey my dog. Warm out by cast by night. I was pumped to hang with him all day. Yeah. Me and Bill hung all day.

Hey there's nice. You guys don't get to do that too often. I can't just tell you, it's always like a family. Other brother, older brother. I just want you to open up to me. Not much, I'm not. It's tough not to crack. It was really open up. The shell is so fucking deep. What just want you to open up to me. Not much. It's tough not to crack. It does really open up. The shell is so fucking deep. What do you want to know? I want to hear your

singing voice. I don't got one. I'll take like two seconds of eye contact first. Yeah. What's your overall like life plan? What's the mission? Blow up. I don't know off. I'll know nobody. I got. I don't know. I'm just trying to get houses with spade as many as we can. For sure. You guys have a nice plan.

Yeah. And you're still recovering from the mushroom. Yeah. Until apocalypse. I mean, I don't know if it's recovering. It's just too much information. Yeah. What was the info?

What was the info? I don't know. I was on five grams of mushrooms. I couldn't decide for. I just kept dying over and over again. Yeah, you guys went into it with intention. Yeah, what was it? thrust in while fucked up. I was fucking. You're in 80s, dude. You're in 80s. And you had a horse. And a horse was all my dick. Yeah, I wouldn't mind doing it with the, but yeah, I don't have a desire to get back in there. Yeah, I was in the game. I said, that's that one play was good. Yeah,

I'm good. I think I really think that's all that movie. What? Yeah, I don't need to be back in that. Yeah, I think that's the way. But I'm taking MDMA tomorrow with Brittany. Really? We're going to get a hotel room. Yeah, we're going to be fucking awesome. It's going to lay in a bed. I still have that I'm gonna be fucking awesome. It's gonna lay in a bed. I still have that Molly. Wow, wow, yes. Somebody gave me a fish. Yeah, yep, yep.

My bad, my bad, my bad. This one, oops, key. We'll make our time note, bloop. But yeah, dude, the, yeah, we're gonna do, which I'm gonna call it, take it, go in the bed tomorrow. That's gonna be awesome. Somebody tell you how it would be so in love.

Now I'm excited. You're gonna love a man. I hope so. That's my natural state, dude. And it doesn't get very sexual. That's the thing I, that man. I hope so. That's my natural state, dude. And it doesn't get very sexual. That's the thing I... That's what I've heard.

I don't know that any time I've ever done it, I think I was on death when I took it. You probably had dirty Molly though. I did. It shrinks your daughter a little. No problem. It gives you like drug penis, comes you plenty to spend. Yeah, yeah.

You're gonna be shocked at how little you have to spare. You would take any of those infetimates? Adderall, fuck. Adderall is. I'd taken Adderall before, but I was so sped out, I didn't even think about my dick. It was probably. I take Adderall, it's sporting events a lot.

For a long, all day, tell me. And then you go to a urinal, and you forget, you've done it. Yeah. You go, oh my God. Jesus. What the, and you're like, oh shit, nobody better see this. This would be like, this is the time of year

where you have the best flaccid dong. This is dong season. That is why everybody down Texas way has got that swagger. Oh, it's always hot. There was a big dick and nuts. Yeah, dude. That's why I was in Northeast guys are nasty fucking shit talkers.

In the pocket. Yeah, yeah. I was walking the other day of the bathroom and just being like, yeah, damn, bro. Yeah, it was like all the best comics are from Boston, New York and yeah, it's cold here. We got small dicks. Yep. We got to be mean and funny.

Yeah. Can't be swagged out Texas guy with a big hog. Yeah, a nice, humid dog. And I was like, is this what it feels like to be confident walking naked? This is sweet. This is awesome. Yeah, usually I get one or the other type, like like a sack that's cold somehow, that's not. Yeah, yeah.

But as soon as you think of my, in my experience, as soon as I think about my dog, it's like, well, goodbye. Yeah. So I have to just like, I try to do like a reverse kegel. I've been trying to see if I can just push it out of my body all the time. I don't know.

Be a funny way to get hemorrhoids. True. Try to make my dick bigger. Ah. But yeah, it's been pretty nice. Be a funny way to get hemorrhoids. True. Try to make my dick bigger. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. But yeah, it's been pretty nice. But yeah, if you think about it, it just...

Right now, my penis is inside of me. I think... I think... My cast penis is... The ass-gul penis. It's terrible. I think... 10% of your flaccid states in your mind.

What do you mean? I think if you're like... If you relax a little bit, your flash at state can increase. I'd say up to 15 to 10. When you wake up, that's a good penis. Oh, wake up. Sometimes without morning wood, just a nice,

full, big, dong, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm,

warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm, warm,, you wake up with fuckin' mocha. I'm saying wake up wood. Oh my god. That's fun. It's I wake up so fucking hard and it's just for like it's just for nothing but my own pleasure. I just go fuck yeah dude. I'm so fucking hard right now. No, it's awesome It's so tight. Although yeah, sometimes there's more than what's just do not go away. No, you just pee you pee it out It's got the hardest dong ever. It's taking a shower. Sometimes you try to whack off with that dong and it takes a while, you know.

Yeah, morning with dong. It's a great news. It's hard to get over half. You gotta be gentle. You gotta treat it like the fuck. You do have to be gentle with something that you can start the day with beating the shit out of your cock and that's a bad day. Did you get a brushburn penis start the day?

I haven't done like a morning fap in a long time. I'm more than nice. I don't like those. I'm more than nighttime insomnia. Night don't like I'm more than a nighttime Somnia nighttime insomnia fat pre bedtime jism dude angel. It's like an angel wings dude Yes, can't you wake up? You're like I kind of was asleep there now. I'm awake. Yeah No, it is weird. They fucking what porn hub after that our boden shit Did it what they nuked porn hub afterub after the Hunter Biden. Oh, what?

Hunter Biden's fucking, Pornhub account got released. It was like, who the fuck knows? There's a bunch of people. And then they deleted everything on Pornhub. That was just like, user uploaded and not fucking verified person. It doesn't make sense. If you were like fucking around with foreign diplomats

and shit from Ukraine who can like kill people, they probably would like find out who to see you and like, dude, you raise that. If you're like fucking around with foreign diplomats and shit from Ukraine who can like Kill people they probably like find out who's a CEO and like dude erase that shit. Yeah, joy 188 is one of his fucking Joy-hunter 388 sick how was videos and Same is like foot jobs while smoking crack He goes all in the mother fucking pain. Yeah, it's time we all do it. It's time we are fucking let him back into the fall. Joe whatever's name.

It's crazy. They all they got it all fucking for the new generation clap hands. Yeah, let's fucking get over all his bulls. Let's all move together. Let's move. Let's go. Let's go. Joe, go. Black people you guys are invited. Lamar. I want you in on this brother. Compton. We're all coming together. Yeah, dude, enough of this.

No more fighting. The young, like, hunter versus Eric Trump is like, what do you guys knock it off already? Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point. Be a good rep, Hunter. Why, why do you have to put on this thing? I'm just saying, if it happens,

if it seems a little sharper. Yeah, I mean, although cracked up. Hunter? No, he's a mass one, he's cracked up. Honey, honey, Did I hurt you? Did I hurt you? That's a dangerous man though. It is Yeah, but what about what about in terms of like high p-coat smolder? Goes to Hunter all day. Yes, just like on the fucking like runway with his dad

I get a little like aircraft carrier with a fucking p-coat on he's got the smoke. He's got the stately smolder Yes, I would say, more than Eric. Yeah, I agree. He's got a bit of like a James Bond thing going on. Jason Boyne. Jason Boyne. He does. He loses gun in the dumpster.

He's like, I know where that place is. He's a racket lost. He's going, what is the deal with his gun? It's he's, it was false paper. He's a racket lost. He's going, go, go. When is they deal with his gun? It's ease. It was false paper. He started banging Bose wife. Because she likes party too. And they got in a fucking PMP. They got a dispoiled party play.

They got in a dispute and she threw his gun in the fucking dumpster at Janssen's. It's like a fucking place right across street from a school. And then some bomb found it and turned it in That's good bump. It is Raintewist bomb found a gun didn't take it to become less than a bomb. Yeah, better than a bomb true a gun can get you out of being a bomb quick Yeah, really go to school. Just go give me everything here true, and then the cops coming you go all right Those it's been a good run. Yeah, you guys are coming with me. Yeah, we're just going to jail. It'd be a nice

Chill and jail for like five years. I've a botched arm robbery attempt. Yeah Three hot just noodles. Yeah jet raped Hopefully now hopefully now hopefully now the bombs and jail Shit they won't fucking shower and they're just fucking destroying fucking Cells imagine being locked in with a bump. Yeah, you got like a crazy skits. Oh, dude They just want they get like real pissed like oh my gosh hour Yeah, they just get beat up

Dude it's a crazy like I just spent a decade in jail just constantly getting beat up everything sucks Yeah, dude not going out is it dude Most of the world is run by like, truly sad. Like, if you're on a construction site, it's like the perfect dude, so like fix everything and build it up. But if there's like corralling the mentally ill,

it's basically construction workers, working as prison guards being like, shut the fuck up, dude. Yeah. Fuck you. Fuck off. That is really sad. Somebody having a, you know, just a disorder. And because of fun. I was like, I'm not

going to be a lot of fun. I was like, I'm not going to be a lot of fun. I was like, I'm not going to be a lot of fun. I was like, I'm not going to be a lot of fun.

I was like, I'm not going to be a lot of fun. I was like, I'm not going to be a lot of fun. I was like, I'm not going to be a lot of fun. I was like, I'm not going to be a lot of fun.

I was like, I'm not going to be a lot of fun. I was like, I'm not going to be a lot of fun. I was like, I'm not going to be a lot of fun. I was like, I'm your license plates for a nickel. Yep, that's crazy cheap. Yeah, that's, I would say, slavery. There is a brawl on cell block 99. Of course. So good.

Makes me think of there's a lot of fun. Dude, imagine running a business though. Imagine running a business and at the end of the month right now is checks. We're hot. Let me pay all those dudes who work for you. You go. Time 45 dollars. Damn, I could have got a fucking nice grub hub with that.

Anyway, I guess I'll pay 500 men. That is a nice loophole for slavery though. I feel like it is. No, it literally is a loophole for sale. It is. It's like, we'll pay him virtually nothing. He's not nothing. He's the 13th amendment.

Yeah. It's all Kanye West to end that. Yeah. It's pretty nuts. They still do that. Yeah. I's pretty nuts, they still do that. Yeah. I think some, oh yeah, there are some countries that are just like, no money whatsoever. I mean, that's basically what we do.

Yeah. Five cents, 10 cents, a fucking thing. Yeah, they really single those countries out that don't pay them 10 cents. And like, that's, you guys are fucking up. You gotta pay them 10 cents. Yeah, true. Switzerland has like, sick jails. The what?

Switzerland are like dorm rooms that are just full of five meters in a crime. Why wouldn't you just pay them like a not, you know, you know, the band, a high wage, but like have it enough where it's somewhat of a bag and it's like if you fuck up again, we take the bag. You can kind of hold it in that screw. Where it's like dude, if you fuck up again,

we hold the bag. Bill, what kind of sandals are those? This is a boat crisis. That's pretty cool. Yeah, this is free. Be gay, and it will say so. Oh, that's what I was talking about earlier. I just went to Norge from dude, I wanted to kill myself.

Why? What are you doing in Norge from? I had to get two, I had to get buttoned down for a fucking wedding. Well, he's gay, he's got a, and I'm sitting there, and like I just, I look like a fucking retard, waiting for the chick to come, like, say. I have the fucking button down on.

She's like, let me see if the sleeves are long enough, and she's helping someone else, who's like getting fitted first to hit, so I'm just sitting in my dressing room with the hat on shorts and a button down staring at this family. Gonna see what fucking fitted, I'm just like, yeah. Getting a suit fitted socks, especially when you're fat,

they get you real waistline. Yeah Oh my god Squeezed in real ways. Do you ever get into men's shapewear? No dude men's shapewear is where it's at What's that I started I was like curious if they even have it so I started like women hat wear like things that literally like scrunch Oh, yeah, they've seen those I started googling them, but they're the funniest fucking. I was just talking about the song. Men's Banks is so fun. Dude, if you were just talking to somebody

and you're gut overpowered and it rolled out, I'd just sit there talking to someone and just the top section of you got. I don't think you could ever overpower it. You would just be fucking fully barrel-chested and you could I can overpower one. I think my gut could pull out. Take out of spanks. Yeah, after like hunched over on a bar and you could I can overpower. I think my gut take out of spanks. Yeah after like

Hunched over on the bar rolling it down. Yeah, oh you think your shoes like You'd roll it down just let yourself breathe. I know I'm saying my butt or my gut pop it out It'd be insane just talking to somebody your gut just fucking Never see the fucking videos of what pictures of them. They're so fucking funny That is fucked up dude my phone knows I'm fat. Oh my algorithm knows I'm fat It's like classic shit. Yeah, Jesus Christ. It's classic. I probably just bought double XL clothes Yeah, I bought pants online. It's on my waist and knows my dimensions. So I hear fucking fat Here's my here. Here's how you should lose weight

Dude you get the spanks with the six, you're gonna spank with the six pack. You're gonna spank with the six pack? Dude. That shit's fucking nasty. That's terrifying shit. Dude, spanks with the six pack, what are you talking about? Psycho's wearing that out publicly. They're among us.

There's check out there. Dude, you could've embushed this thing. Oh, ripped that thing in half, dude. Bro. It's probably made in China and it's fake. It was looking like you were wearing a sewer man costume. Oh rip that thing in half dude, bro. It's probably made in China It's a thing you were in the sewer man cost Probably just props your tits up a little. Yeah, it does probably you would already same tits Whoop look how fucking jackd is dude put the polo on

That's crazy. That's a fucking insane look y You all look at every day. Chicks somewhere I with. Sure. Man, look at that guy. Woo! You unravel that mess after a long time. That guy was fucking good. You're gonna have that mess after a long night, you go. This is a 10 after 2 AM.

We're going then. Dude, if you take your bank off and run away, you let the fucking gut out. They're like, yeah, they'd be like, ah, you got me. No, they'd be like, eh, what? They'd toss it out, right'd be like ah you got me They'd toss it out right up they would touch you and then what is that yeah

My one friend would wear honor on Rick cuz he thought it did that I know kiddie Why the shield is penis why I just did just like Fucking crazy bone around grind line. Why did he go to the dance? I don't know. I was the Roger Butter. I heard, yeah. Yeah, that was the whole fucking point. STS, I don't believe that.

I'm not a whole spirit. I don't know. STS, they were grindin' on this. At the same time, at school, they were fucking hawks about dancing. We go to St. Pete's, dude. That's where the public public school kids were talking to. St. Pete's just like, a couple of the girls. Uh-oh.

You know I'm grindin' until it. You know, I'm grinding till it'll E.I. by Nelly. That's crazy. Yeah, people shaper on that shit. And let that happen. Yeah, it's all men. Yeah. Just stand there and watch kids grind.

That's gotta be a real, that's gotta fuck you up. Yeah, that's fucking nuts. Gotta truly fuck you up. Watch those little girls you raise, go around and hook up with six dudes at a night. Yeah. I'm pretty sure the chick I made out with my first kiss at the St. Caves dance hooked up with like as many dudes as she possibly could. She's

having a wild night. Maybe. Yeah. She's probably a tradcat. What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that? What's the hell is wrong with that? It's debauchery, dude. So if a guy did it, what if a guy made out six girls and one two man the on a body count. Do you know Adam 22's dad was in the CIA for real? Supposedly. I don't know. Big crazy. Did you know baby drunk? Rinsed up. That's the adult version. I know. Did you know Adams dad Adam 22's father was in the CIA Anyway, where we at time on this one

They ever like wrestle come on come on come on come on come on Have you ever like wrestled when you put your foot you link your feet up? I'm trying to flip the other person you try to flip the other person over You want to write? Yeah, let's do it to flip the other person. You try to flip the other person over. No, not the other person. Let's go on it. You want to record? Yeah, let's do it. That's no problem. You got to do the ground.

Let's get this out of here. Clear out this wonderful chest. You know how to do it? I kind of, you just show me. I kind of remember. One, two, three. Lifts one leg over and fucking show me how to do it. I kind of remember this.

Watch the video. No, I think you do. We'll get a mile practice round. The trunk. That's right. I mean, dude, it's just a friendly comp on the zebra rug. The zebra had no idea, dude. All right. Yeah. You got to come up this way. Oh, yeah, you put your yeah lock on your right legs You might want to move that back in there. Yeah, yeah, you're asking our arms lock And then we leg There's legs this one Let's go. I made it back for other. Now let's get those legs.

This one? Yeah. It has to be. I gotta go back. We're gonna go straight up down. We gotta go on the three. Wait, which way I'm trying to pull down? Yeah.

I'll go right up. Raise your leg one. Down. Go down. All right. One. Two. Three.

Open the hell, brother. Oh, man. Man man let go of my stance I can't flip no we flip ready one one two three you can't get like that you can't go that hard you can't go towards one all right one one one two two three I think we got that hard. You're about to turn to one. All right, go for it. You're about to turn to one. All right, go for it. One, two, three. One, two, three. I'll do it.

We're going to... We're going to... We're going to... We're going to... We're going to... We're going to... We're going to... We're going to...

We're going to... We're going to... We're going to... We're going to... We're going to... We're going to... We're going to... We're going to...

We're going to... We're going to... We're going to... We're going to... I'm not doing that. Second. No. Thank you.

Alright, let's see on the climb. Thank you. See you. Bye.