Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 462 - Protect Our Dawg Parks (feat. Mark Normand & Ari Shaffir)

Starting point is 00:00:00 You can move in if you like, but I think you're like I'm out and I want to be closer to the pooch. Yeah, it's good pooch Look at that. It's like the good fellas paintings you Sorry, you really do You look like that. Oh, yeah, what that graph again? Sean you heard him put the graph again Sean put it in why are you not putting it in yet? Come on Change the guards you just learned post means. Yeah. Matt's in Austin already.

Starting point is 00:00:30 So he moved. These guys are here. Yes. He moved. Yes. McCuskers down there already. Yeah, that was quick. He had more visa issues.

Starting point is 00:00:39 Yes, we've got a dog here. Oh, yeah. Protect our dog parks. Protect the dog park. There we go. Protect our dog parks. Protect the dog park. There we go. What are you fucking laughing at? You think it's not funny? Is that where you laugh?

Starting point is 00:00:50 Yeah. Yeah. Um, actually speaking of thinking it's not funny, this is a funny story. I was at the seller the other night with you. And I was downstairs bombing. It was bombing at the VU. Oh, the new stuff. The new stuff. And I was downstairs bombing. It was bombing at the VU. Oh, the new stuff.

Starting point is 00:01:06 The new stuff. Yeah. So bad. It's so bad. It has me in between every new stuff bit. Finish one and go, hey. Yeah. It's crazy how bad it is.

Starting point is 00:01:17 I'm with you. And good, good they were doing theaters. Yeah. That's a terrific material. But at least the theaters is our crowd that knows us. Yes. They're like us. This seller, people were mad. Well, at least the theaters is our crowd that knows us. Yes, right. They're like us. The seller, people were mad.

Starting point is 00:01:27 Oh, yeah, of course. You were mad at me the whole time. But also, the cough was not gone. I was spraying people in the COVID. I was spawning and coughing the entire set. You were really sick? Yes. Oh, I thought you made it up.

Starting point is 00:01:39 No, I'm fully still there. Oh, okay. And but Liz, from the seller, came down and I was like, she knew I was gonna bomb, I told her. I was like, this is, I shouldn't still there. Oh, okay. And but Liz from the seller came down and I was like, she knew I was gonna bump, I told her I was like, this is, I shouldn't be here, this is a huge mistake. Yeah. I've done stand up in a week. Right.

Starting point is 00:01:53 And this is all bad. And it's a bunch of young guns bringing the heat. Yeah, and then you go up with the new shit. Everyone else is killing. All right. And then so she was in the back. She sat at the, at the VU and was just dying. Like just laughing.

Starting point is 00:02:03 Oh, that's good. Clapping when I was bombing. Yeah. And Ian Lara saw me at the cellar, and he was like, I was like, fuck, I'm having a rough night. And he was like, what are you talking about? You were killing. I was like, what do you mean?

Starting point is 00:02:14 He's like, I came down, fucking the manager was cheering. I was like, I walked down. I was like, I've never seen the manager cheer for someone. Oh, that's fun. I was like, no, she was actively making sure of mocking me though. On stage, the manager was down there mocking the Canadian. The best I ever had of that is the lady, Rant Crackers. Remember that lady? Oh, Ruth Ann. Ruth Ann. She was like, I went

Starting point is 00:02:34 there with Sigur for the first time. And she was like, he did some jujokes and while I was in the stage, she asked Tom, should quarter, is that him? Oh, wow. Absolutely. That's a good comedy owner. But the worst part is they see the special and they go, hey, this guy's cooking. We got to go see this guy. Then they see you live and they're like, maybe it's not a lot, not a live guy. Yeah, there's a lot of laugh tracks in this. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that was a, so that's, that's going to happen again tonight.

Starting point is 00:03:03 Yeah, same. I'm with you. And hopefully the coughs gone. Hopefully the coughs still there. I don't know, because I spread it. While I was coughing, I was like, well, I have COVID. I said it to the, I was like, Barmi, I have COVID. Oh, geez.

Starting point is 00:03:15 And they, they got very upset, even more upset. And then this was the big hit. This is the big joke of the night. I told him I knew I had COVID because I did the smell test, which is, I said, I shoved my hand in my ass and smelled it. And I couldn't smell it.

Starting point is 00:03:32 And I was like, but I'll tell you what folks, you better make sure you don't have taste. No. There were very, very, it's still, it was a nightmare set. That worked, that worked well. That was a real, we got the opener. Yeah, that saved it. I went, got me. I was a real we got the opener yeah that saved that one got me I was the way back in the bathroom you're saying that

Starting point is 00:03:48 bombing golfing talking about shoving my hand on my ass can you blame it on like it's like a flu game thing you're like I'm bombing by a covid that's why if I was I kind of tried to do that but they were for real they already didn't like me from how bad I was doing. And then when I said I also have COVID everyone was like, Oh great. Not only did you suck tonight. Now we're all sick. Yeah, sick of picking up your bomb. It wasn't even funny. Not worth it.

Starting point is 00:04:19 At least the manager saw you because if the booker saw you, she doesn't have the the manager saw you because if the booker saw you, she doesn't have the the humor to be like, oh, this is funny that he's done. Yeah, yeah, she'd be like, he's, he's got to go. Yeah. Well, I am going. So whatever. I'll see you there tonight. Yeah. Yeah, we missed you at the skank. I know. I wish I was so fond, bro. Tell me about it. It's hot to drugs. Well, you heard about Derosa, obviously. I heard about Derosa. the best. How public is this knowledge? I don't know. Oh, it's it's out there. It's got to be on everything. It's out there. It's in the skank. He said it on a podcast. I heard Joe Dorosa. It is. He admitted it on podcast. You mean he admitted it on podcast. That's what Danny yet true. He confessed to

Starting point is 00:04:59 it. That's what it's the right. We sure this is public yet. Oh, it's out. Danny and Ryan long, I think, had him on. I think they talked about it on their podcast. So what exactly happened? What happened was it's best audience in the world. Yeah. Really? It's giving audience. Yeah. It's impossible to refuse a chance. Oh, yeah. True debt. But there was a contest to see who could be the last ring car girl for Elysmania. And so they was like, we didn't get a second part. So any girl come up right now. And four girls came up. One was new to being a woman.

Starting point is 00:05:33 Hey, there you go. You mean she was young? What do you mean by that? I mean, yeah, she was a young woman. Yeah, she was a very young, fresh trans. Fresh trans. Fresh trans. Yeah. This is pre-op, no op. No op. For sure. No op. I'm gonna guess no op because black ops. Black ops. The black arts ops. Yeah. So there was a penis on this woman. So while he was like, I can lick my elbow. People are like, great, good talent. Next lady was like, I can lick my tits. Definitely one up, clubbells leader.

Starting point is 00:06:07 Bad leader, better. And then the third lady was like, I can suck my own dick. The woman said she could suck her own dick. The new woman. The new woman. Well, yeah, I mean, it's not one. I think it's gives it away now.

Starting point is 00:06:18 That's why you have the details to know which one's which. I can suck my own dick and I was like, well, this is gonna make you the leader. But, obviously, she was like, I gotta get hard first. Someone has to get me hard. Woo, baby, here we go. And the audience chose. Big Joe.

Starting point is 00:06:32 Right away, just our channel, Joe. And he wasn't resisting, I might say. I was, he was. He said he goes, no way, zero chance. And then the chance included his last name. And then he was like, okay, I'll do it under one condition. I'll stand to this lady into hardness. It's what the fuck? You had a beggar bucket because you lost three grand the night before and, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, people have to put money in this bucket, pass it around. Everyone's

Starting point is 00:07:00 like, absolutely. And he went upstairs to get our heart. This is night one by the way. This is day one, day one. Day one. If I knew we had a friend that I could make, do something gay for three grand, you would have already been doing it. I would have done this.

Starting point is 00:07:16 I wonder, Durosa was that cheap? He'd do it for less, because this was a 99 less grand. He wanted to do it for sure. And this is a big old lady. This is like a leot Thomas. Oh, he wanted to do it for sure. And this is a big old lady. This is like a little Thomas. Oh, I heard she was like six foot. Six four. Yeah, when she said, oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:30 Oh, yeah. When she said let's go, she got into a three point stance. Yeah. And she told, I think she beat out of Sonya. Yeah, she was, she was, wait, this lady was a six foot. She was six. Penn State.

Starting point is 00:07:43 That's six. Pretty. Yeah. Pretty big arms That's a six. Pretty. Ah! Pretty big arms. Pretty big arm. Pretty. Pretty. Okay.

Starting point is 00:07:51 Yeah, if this was I'd say if this was 1994 before you had heard of such things, you would have been like, I don't know. Pretty. Pretty the same way Jocco Willenick is pretty. Handsome. Handsome woman. Yeah, similar to Willenick. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:03 Jackadol Jocco Willenick. Yeah, similar to a little bit Good ol' chocolate time Fuck there's a call if I laugh I cough Yeah, so I was up there bombing and then laughing that I was bombing If I laugh, I cough. So I was up there bombing and then laughing that I was bombing. That was cool. I couldn't talk. So yeah, so they went out there. She gets hard, says, says, hey, I'm never going to be able to maintain her all the way

Starting point is 00:08:35 back down the steps around to the stage. They go upstairs in the venue. Yeah, upstairs and around to a bathroom. And so she's like, there's no way. I can walk downstairs to do a comical environment. This is not gonna stay hard that long. That's got to be a weird walk. So no, you're going to a bathroom to know you're going to jerk off a trans person. So what are you thinking about in that walk? Huggies. Yeah. I was thinking about the new hoagie.

Starting point is 00:08:58 He's got a new idea. I guess. Yeah. He's getting him in his fuzone the Easty the training What does he do it the upside down? Why do you do that changes me? Yeah So anyway, they get him down. She's telling us a story and then she was like there's no way and then Lewis was like, well, did you come and she goes someone did? Oh? What? She goes, yeah, I got to come on my leg to prove it. Oh,

Starting point is 00:09:31 God. Are we sure he's made this public? So yeah, it's out there. I use something from a thousand people, but we're sure he made a public. Follow up on this and post. I talk about it on my pod. Yeah, we're gonna follow up on both.

Starting point is 00:09:44 Make sure it's public. Yeah, this is very out and he, Derosa was, he was, they carried him on their shoulders. He was like the mayor of Las Vegas. I mean, what a winner to go for it. This is a credit. I told him, because I heard about it, Soda told me that night.

Starting point is 00:09:58 Yeah. And I called him to, I was like, are you sure this happened? So it was like, I got to make sure it happened. I mean, I was there as there as anyone. And I called him to make fun of him. Obviously. And as soon as he answered So it was like, I gotta make sure it happened. I mean, I was there as there as anyone. And I called him to make fun of him. Obviously. And as soon as he answered, I was like, fuck, I can't make fun of him.

Starting point is 00:10:09 I love. He's a good guy. I can't even do what makes fun of him. No, I've worked on it. But he said he liked that relationship. He said he liked it. He's like, it was hot. I'm gonna do it again.

Starting point is 00:10:19 No shame. It sounds hot. So that you blew the thing or hand you there. If that was a girl, that'd be an awesome experience. Hell yeah. But so yeah, she blew him and then he only fans. Oh, pull her up. She's got a big dick too.

Starting point is 00:10:31 That's what she said. She was like, you know, me, the, we're all broken. Fuller up. But I asked him the size difference and he was like, it was almost time and a half. Two to one. Yeah. Bigger than Jackcock. Yeah. Wait, than his. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:10:45 Wait, the, the, the, the, the, they had a bigger penis. Yes. No, not that. I, I'm trying to get the pronouns correct. I didn't want to assume. I think that's the wrong one. I think it's singular. Her, her, she, Carl.

Starting point is 00:10:59 Not that. That's a different thing. Carla. Uh, that's, that's, so that was day one of Skankfest. Carl and the A's of parentheses. Did anything else happen that was even not that was high up? Well, the after part of the year about it, I don't want to beep the name. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:15 Right here. Get the time, step. Wow, wow. Oh, cut the whole thing out. Haha. I think it's right over there. What happened? Wes.

Starting point is 00:11:24 Anyway, and we're back. Yeah, so a lot of crazy shit happened. It was wild. How was the bees? You guys get to see six at all? The bees are seeing them. I didn't see them at all. He gets to those things and he gets around.

Starting point is 00:11:36 See there? I didn't even see them. There's a couple of female sixes. But that was the top of the game. Skatech 10, right? Yeah, that's true. No, I was genuinely like before it, obviously, I was supposed to get there Thursday.

Starting point is 00:11:51 I was like, fuck, I'm never gonna make it. I'm very sick. I'm gonna change my flight to Saturday. I'll leave Monday. And then by the time I got to Saturday, or Friday night, I was like, I'm fucked. I got a canceled. So I did lose a lot of money on flights and I got a nice hotel

Starting point is 00:12:05 I just had to cancel it and you go first class as well. Yeah, yeah It was a lot I fucked up but flies a helicopter there. I was also happy Because it was like nice I get to fucking sleep this weekend true But then I started looking at pictures with your story and I was like fuck. I wish I was at skankfest It is a bitch to get there. I had I flew the day of the flood So I was like the last chop rod a nom because it was. Oh yeah. I was already gone. Um, it's all of it. So I heard before L's media, National Anthem, they got like a real singer to sing it. Yeah. And then I'm like, who drops at a Myers? Jupinski. Oh, wow. I can't do the thing. I'm in the pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro.

Starting point is 00:12:45 I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro.

Starting point is 00:12:53 I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro.

Starting point is 00:13:01 I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a pro. I'm not a posse one in San Clown. Yeah, it's a same clown member. Exactly. And seeing the ICP guy next to Zach Amico is crazy, because he looks normal next to Zach. Yeah, Zach's terrifying. Terrifying. Staple and shit to his cheek and stuff.

Starting point is 00:13:16 He went a kilt and he went no shirt with like pink makeup and a small awkward. I mean, it's, it's, it's like he said he couldn't hang a leg from his dick because he just got in his, his, his a Prince Albert back in and he said, we're ripped the whole day. Yeah, I said, I have a new friend who went for it anyway. Now he's a lizard dick. Went to the naked rose every night. I mean, he ran that thing beautifully. He's a funny guy. He was a talker. He was a talker. That's. I forgot about that. That was a rough one. Yeah, I forgot about it because it came out three weeks after we did it. I know.

Starting point is 00:13:50 I was like, I totally forgot it. And then I was looking at YouTube and I was like, oh, no. Like crazy viral. That one's that one's rough. It took an Asian pussy for 20 minutes. Did they keep that in there? I didn't watch it. I think they didn't. They did that part out.

Starting point is 00:14:04 That's very funny. You there. You watched it live. I watched it on YouTube and the producer guy was telling me that they added a lot out. Oh, that doesn't make sense. Yeah, because then I was like whenever he was like, you guys are mean. I was like, you were just crazy racist. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. I said Asian pussy 20 times just making fun of him.

Starting point is 00:14:28 And it would get a laugh. But now there's one thing, you know, Rick Flair, what is it? I'd be like, you're a wrestler, one of the great promoters. Well, you'd be wrong. It's I respect people's time. That I will never make someone who donates their time. That's the one thing you know I like that. Yeah, and a Sunday. The Sunday was yeah. Yeah. As soon as he brought that up, I was like, all right, I'm out. I'm not gonna make fun of him one more time. This is a lot of fun. I had a bunch of like, I see you guys get fun and go every time someone else did it. I was like, yeah, who is doing that? That's the Luit's Gomez is there for you. He just went right in and rattlesnaked it up by the dead son. Yeah, he was, he was ready for it.

Starting point is 00:15:11 Yeah, but right time. We had a cigar lounge and it got infiltrated by like others. Yeah, that's a problem. So Bobby Kelly got them to donate one of the staff members to stand guard. Donate comedians in. He brought, he brought him with Ruggola. Ruggola. Yeah. And he just stood there and said, sorry, no.

Starting point is 00:15:30 There is a little bit of a church and state problem at Skankfest. Like to get from here to here, which takes six minute walk that turns into a 48 and a walk with that. And I'm happy to do it. But something you got a spot, you know, yeah. So that gets tough. And you start running out of material and you don't happy to do it, but something you got a spot, you know, yeah, so that gets tough and you start Running out of material and you don't want to do the old stuff because they know every single thing you've ever written

Starting point is 00:15:51 Yeah, so you know Material yeah, this joke now then that show all the reports. Okay, I would do eight minutes on derosa Then I do two minutes of jokes and I get off Well, good times. That's good. It was fun. It was fun. Sunday. Oh, yeah. I showed up on Sunday. Nick Mullen. It was there. It was pretty great. Pretty great turnout. I mean, just constant drunk. Coss of the hours. I did it all night or in the last night. That was a mistake.

Starting point is 00:16:20 And I was jet lagged. Iged a month in Europe, flew home, changed my bag, flew out to Vegas, and the jet lag hit me like two days in, and it was hell. Oh fuck. Brutal, but I got skankfest in there. Simon said, I can't find mushrooms. No. Shut up.

Starting point is 00:16:36 How can you not find mushrooms? I don't know why you laugh now. I'm happy he was there. He's late. He ruled, he fucking went for it. He was great. He was going for it? Yeah, oh yeah. He rolled, he fucking went for it. He was great. He was going for it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:16:48 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I didn't know he got it after. He's in his room. He's on the plane. I didn't know he went after it. Oh, he's in that. Oh, he's in that.

Starting point is 00:16:56 Oh, he's in that. They invented it in Norway. Really? Yeah. I mean, not that part of the drink. He doesn't drink. He just does shrooms all day. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:17:04 I mean, that's why I've never seen him getting rally at the seller. Yeah. We got after it a little the other night. Yeah, I was nice way more than I thought we did I was nice. I'm glad I hung over his fuck. I was bad Yeah, that was worse you get a text and I had just woke it up. It's just shame. Yo I turn my eyes. Yeah, well the seller will do that. It's hard to leave you get a couple of this keeps going Yeah, and my spots were late. Oh, yeah, I got there at midnight basically normal. That's my arm. Yeah, it's good. You little fucked up when I got there, right? What were you up to? No, I think I just hadn't got started. It was from skankfest. Yeah, it'll take it out of you There's the after party starts at one at a strip club. So, you know, you mean the, uh, protect our parks strip club after party?

Starting point is 00:17:45 That was, you see that? What was that? They just without asking me or Ari, just posted and figured out what it was. I didn't see this. So they, I was like, yeah, they didn't have permission to do that because then I got a text like, Hey, would you be willing to do an after party? I'm like, no, and this, no fucking way. What? It's like a strip club posted a flyer that was just me and Ari. The protect our parks after party. Oh, weird. Yeah, it was he was like, do you know like, no, I don't think I'm going. Yeah. And why am I not in it? No, we didn't even we want to sit now. Yeah, I would have said I'll probably go

Starting point is 00:18:22 obligated to go to a fucking strip club. Yeah, I will say those strippers were did you ever go? Yeah, I went the first night. They were fucking aggressive aggressive. Yeah, really? Yeah, I took two of them took to Rosa that first night. He said he fell asleep. Good story tracks. He's falling asleep And then he wakes up and there's two Puerto Rican women looking up at that. He's like, what? He goes goes they like we should go to the we should go to the ATM And he's like, okay, why? Yeah, it took like two grand from him. Yeah, it's like max it max it out give it to us goodbye Nice. Yeah I had a fucking weekend. Oh my god for a 61 year old. He can roll. Yeah last it's funny because last gang fast He was like

Starting point is 00:19:00 When we got to his like I went to the doctors. I got to stop drinking. Yeah like when we got there was like, cause I went to the doctors, I got to stop drinking. Yeah. He's having a drink. You're later, he's blowing guy. Oh my God. He got an opinion still he got what he liked.

Starting point is 00:19:09 He got a better help doctor to tell him how he could drink all he wants. He was also starting a sandwich shop back then. So he had to keep it on the up and up. Yeah. He got a business to run. But a lot of blows going around as well. Ooh, good thing I missed it.

Starting point is 00:19:26 Yeah. I love when they hit you with a drug term for a drug you don't normally do. So I say something and they hear whatever they think, you know, and they go, oh, do you want to, it's just some term. That's a little, but Dandy, and you're like, what?

Starting point is 00:19:38 Yeah. Yeah. What is that? Like it's a Dandy of whatever. I'm like, I don't even know that thing. Yeah. What's it do? Yeah, what's it do? It makes you itch. Right. All right. Yeah, I'll give it a shot like I don't even know That's a thing. What do you do? Yeah, it makes you itch Yeah, I'll give it a shot

Starting point is 00:19:49 We got a whip it's going whip it's around me and little Sasquatch did some whip it's a Whip it's great. He's the same guy on whip it's a night and He was sent here. He looks exactly like fucking fried from futon He was sent here. He looks exactly like fucking fried from Futurama. Oh, yeah, I want you to look like that's wild. Yeah, anyway, we got that going. Yeah Oh, shit, I was gonna say something. You put my mind with a fry trovers picture. Yeah, graphic post Shit, the hell I had to create you doing whippets with those ass. Oh, it's great. Tony wanted to do it But it's like I don't do well on wipits.

Starting point is 00:20:25 Like, once last meet, did he? Cause I've never done it. I'm like, I fucking hate that. That's so much. Tony, anybody's I've never done. I don't do well. But I won't do it. I don't do it.

Starting point is 00:20:34 Oh, the highlight, the highlight of the whole fest. Yes. Was your show. Oh, the shit talking to him. That was crazy. Dude, I didn't want this show to end. That was in the back hiding. Just like I said, I said an hour timer.

Starting point is 00:20:46 It was the last minute ad. We were like, we suggested it at the Skankfest opening, which I don't think any of those are taped. And they go, let's do a show, Ari and Joe, shit on any comic you suggest. With Hinch Cliff and Bobby Kelly. And then Lewis, like, it's done. We're doing it.

Starting point is 00:21:00 And I'm like, Lewis, he didn't write down or text anyone. Yeah. We're never going to do this. So we on our own pusher back in Christine, they had it last show. And it was epic. It was great, right? Unreal. I mean, it got it got too real. Like Tony goes hard. You know, the Russell be like, Oh, Christchurch knows kids names. And Tony's like, he owes me money. It was wild.

Starting point is 00:21:24 Yeah, there were a few moments ago for real serious The bill burst off I was like This is too much this is a strict no phones policy Staff members in there and every like 20 minutes like guys again no fucking phones. You see anybody you got to tell them I filmed half of it every like 20 minutes like guys again, no fucking phones. You see anybody you gotta tell them. I filmed half of it. Yeah. I was back there with a selfie stick.

Starting point is 00:21:47 That's a crazy show. It's a crazy show. You and Dero said just me and Dero said, and we said like, we said they suggested one of us, like five in it was actually, let's close with that. We just show you doing each other. Yeah. Well, that's good. You should only tell it.

Starting point is 00:22:00 Yeah. But I set my time for an hour and then we're at 35 minutes over that. Oh yeah. And then we're like, we gotta finish this. Was there anybody you were like, ah, he's a good guy Yeah, but then then immediately we got corrected. We're like, that's not what this show is true true Yeah, when they suggest people you like legitimately respect and you're like I'll tell you the one part of it. I don't respect

Starting point is 00:22:19 Yeah, I think it's personal Yeah, and then the best was when Tony somehow Tony and Derosa started going at it. And that was gold. Because he's like, you won't shit on Rogan. Yeah, I was thinking about someone else. Oh, I Tony didn't shit on Rogan. I mean, he was just like,

Starting point is 00:22:33 sometimes people who are tangentially who they're brought up with, like they're bringing Bacusker, you're gonna get shit on as well. Yeah, you're right. Right, she's natural. And so they were doing somebody else. And then someone would make a Rogan joke and he was still thinking of the first guy.

Starting point is 00:22:46 He's like, you won't shit on rock. He wouldn't do it. He froze. And then you call them on. He goes, what? Roseanne? Like, no, not Roseanne. I was wrong. And he fucking pussy. And the place. He never did it. He just loyal boy. He was like, I'm about that on her body. And he just moved it on. I'm not a man. It was a great moment.

Starting point is 00:23:03 It was, uh, it was, uh, yeah., there was one where a lot of people hate this guy. And so he's like, he's taking the alternate. He's like, it's actually cool. Whatever. And I was like, Tony, I put my hand over my mic. I was like, we shit on norm for six straight minutes. And he goes, oh, shit on norm. Oh, I missed the norm.

Starting point is 00:23:19 It was suggested. Oh, what? And he goes, oh, this guy's a faggot. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, when, uh, D guy's a faggot. Yeah. Oh, yeah, when Dorosa and Tony were going back and forth, Tony, or Dorosa, details. Okay, okay, okay. I don't know what I mean.

Starting point is 00:23:33 It was just a good thing. Like this is all, this is all fine. But Dorosa goes, you ruined Netflix. You had the one, that one shot. What's that one shot? That's what you put your mouth, the gizz or whatever. And then Tony goes You blew a guy

Starting point is 00:23:51 And then every time he was like Tony you're okay. He goes you literally blew a guy And then Doros said something like oh your Netflix special sucked and he goes least I had a special and Doros I had three and Tony goes, at least I had a special. And Dorosa goes, I had three. And Tony goes, I had no idea. I was a great one. I didn't know he had three either. It's from an old network that he's doing. Yeah, a little bit called Comedy Central. They were good.

Starting point is 00:24:14 Yeah, they had a moment. Damn, it was fun time. I'm gonna fuck you. Yeah, I wish I was there. You guys get this at festivals. I'm a psycho weirdo in my head. I get the festival anxiety. I'm in my hotelo in my head. I get the festival anxiety. I'm in my hotel, you sleep till noon, you're hungover,

Starting point is 00:24:27 and I go, I can't go back out there. Yeah, for sure. I can't face it. So you can't miss anything. Then you can't miss anything. Then you find out, hey, we're all smokers, it's like, why do you tell me? I know, yeah.

Starting point is 00:24:36 I know, but you gotta just force it. You gotta go down and get out with everybody. So I felt this whole weekend. You're missing out. I literally just laying on this couch sick, just like pictures. Fuck, I wish I was there, dude. I'd be so, then it this whole weekend. You're missing out. Literally just laying on this couch, sick, just like pictures. Fuck, I wish I was there dude, I'd be so, and then it was very grateful.

Starting point is 00:24:50 It wasn't. When you think about the steps it takes, I gotta get an Uber, go to the airport, book a ticket. Yeah. I thought it's too much. But once you're there. And then every time you're like, I would have just hung out with fucking Gardini and Lamar

Starting point is 00:25:03 and just my friends. That's what happened. Oh, it just got drunk with the same people I get drunk with every fucking week. Yeah, but it's so far. But it was not responsibility. And then people come back by, you can make money. What responsibilities do you have? I don't know. You got to call your friends, do a podcast at 5 p.m.

Starting point is 00:25:17 And that's a good mixture. Like, oh, I can get drunk. I can see Tim. I can talk to Mullen. I can talk to... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the same type of guy. Yeah, fuck Gardini. Brog your heart yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,, but yeah, you gave it to a lot of people for sure you just got it. Well you dabbing What were you while I was smoking we I was smoking a lot of cigarette can Vegas. I smoke way too

Starting point is 00:25:49 I don't smoke anywhere, so I was a smoke like two packs a day and got really drunk to like 5 a.m Both days. Yeah, and then I was just out of commission for like a whole day It'll fuck it because you go to the strip club all night You know you skanked festive up then it won't you go to the strip club now? It's four you're, I gotta go home. And then your home is a casino. So you're walking to your room and you're like, ah, do a hand.

Starting point is 00:26:10 You see five other guys that are from the pet. Yeah, I don't grow. Exactly. Oh, you want? Come on. Like, all right, one. Right. Seven.

Starting point is 00:26:18 I got a text of 430 from Norman. That was like, you out? You still out? Yeah, you out. Oh, no. Yeah, I was, I was like, I need you to blow on them. I should have called the Rosa. Yeah, you would have Oh, no. Yeah, I was I was I need you to blow on them. I should have called the Rosa. Yeah, you would have done it. Good. Yeah. It was a thing. He's never done anything gay in his life.

Starting point is 00:26:34 No, except until he was 50 except his outfit. Yeah, it's just he has to have done some I think his birth dad just died. So he doesn't mind. Oh really? Oh no, he is adopted. If you're adopted, it's all out. You can do anything. No one's barred. No one's this important. I don't think me not sucking dick has anything to do with my having parents.

Starting point is 00:26:52 Well, try having parents and then you'll see. Huh? He has parents. All right. I know he meant trying not having parents. Yes. But I don't think that would, I don't think my parents died.

Starting point is 00:27:04 I'm gonna jack my parents died. I'm gonna jack off a guy. Can you imagine morning for your dad? No! Oh, wow. Yeah, finally, dad's gone. I can see you probably drinking more that week. Probably a drinking.

Starting point is 00:27:15 Yeah, probably a drinking. Yeah. It's not the parents is the friends talking on podcasts. That's what would slow me down when I get stuff. She's a bad group of friends to jack off a guy with. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're not a quiet everyone We've got a platform because five million people are gonna find out exactly Telling you it's in the clear

Starting point is 00:27:35 I have a lot to do yeah, I know I just talked to Ryan. He said they haven't put their episode out yet So he's gonna clear it with Joe I bet Joe He's good to let him clear it with Joe and then if he says he's gonna say. To let him clear it with Joe. And then if he clears it, we're just clear. We don't have to ask. True, it's a surprise.

Starting point is 00:27:49 We call him. Talk about it on mine. We talked about it on Legionist games. Talk about yours. Yeah, and Legionist games. That's true, but on one wasn't recorded, wasn't it? I mean, it's. They all were.

Starting point is 00:27:57 It's pretty, he did it in public. He did it in public. Yes, and it was all over the fence. It was a strange show. It was a strange mint show. I mean, he's back in show business. This like catapult to back. He's back. He's back. This is deros is back. Yeah. We've all been

Starting point is 00:28:12 like, if I could just go get get writing jobs again. I didn't do else. I did it. Yeah. This is like his only man among us. Yeah. This is him. A trimult in pulp fiction. He is willing to take a chance. Oh, he's good. He did it. It's good that he is. That's good. You know it. It's good that he is at that.

Starting point is 00:28:25 That's good. You know what sucks is that the trans woman is getting no credit. No one knows her name or anything. She was the Rick card stuff. Just as a copless as him. She was culpable. culpable.

Starting point is 00:28:36 But no love. She can have a, this would boost her all the fans, but no one knows who she is. Yeah. We gotta get her name. We gotta get her name. There you go. She deserves We gotta get her name. We gotta get her name. There you go. She deserves some love for this too.

Starting point is 00:28:48 She's a little bit rosa. Yeah, I agree. In fact, what a fucking soldier too, did Jack off Joe de Rosa. Yeah, it's funny. It's like nubious cocks in the fucking business. Have you seen, I've never seen this cock. No one has, it shrinks up.

Starting point is 00:29:01 It's got glasses and that type of thing. Can I imagine him fucking hard? Oh yeah, he goes for it. He's got a great rap sheet. Yeah, rap sheet. Yeah Rap sheet. He's got some comment. I would throw some out there later. Yeah, some good impressive name Yeah, you see him out. Oh, yeah, he's a lady killer. He does very well for how he looks now. He's a guy killer also Yeah, he does very well for how he looks now he's a guy killer also Eventually himself yep, yeah, what was I gonna say? Oh Shit I lost it again. I heard you made fun of me for being friends with football players We did that was when that came up. I understand you see the NFL player score touchdown do the celebration I told him to do no no

Starting point is 00:29:44 What see that's what I thought bitch We did it maybe now I just have been sent a gave this dumb Stupid real of this kid I didn't realize it was a kid getting a haircut Because I didn't I never noticed his hair So kid of Brazil that's like he's like this. He's just doing then he goes like this, and then he has a haircut and he looks back up and goes, okay. So I was like, it comes into game. I was like, dude, do this when you score.

Starting point is 00:30:14 Yeah. And he was like, all right, I will. And then every week he would score, and be like, fuck, I forgot, fuck, I forgot. He was like, this week he scored first touchdown of the game. He walks over the camera and goes, ah, that's great. It was awesome. Wow. You ever thought you'd be there? This week he scored first touchdown the game he walks over the camera goes That's great. It was awesome. Wow. Yeah, you ever thought you'd be there. You can tell like cool

Starting point is 00:30:36 Watching the game I celebrated like it was awesome. Wow, that's crazy. You remember in a film. Rumors swirling. There's another NFL player going to do it this week. Rivers. Really? I'm just saying watch the red zone. If you see it, you can see where he's. Oh boy. Look at every celebration. Watch it. I want to talk to a UFC fighter. If you win, go. They will. You know that Vulcanovsky. Vulcan do it. You hear that vulcan abski? Vulcan, do it.

Starting point is 00:31:06 Yeah. Nick Diaz would do that just on his own. He was doing it. He was doing it. He was doing it. What else is going on? What else do we got? What else do we got?

Starting point is 00:31:17 You guys got to have something. Oh, I got one. That was the story for you. What? So my, I was there in Skankfest, found out my built up a new studio flooded Yeah, not that not the part that the studio's in but the back bedroom and the kitchen flooded you built a studio built it up

Starting point is 00:31:35 Yeah, and then it got flooded. Yeah, yeah So third floors Fox second floors not as bad You have multiple floors in the whole building. That's him. You got the whole building. No. Oh, I thought these are all your different rooms. She can't get into the guy above me's. Hey, a place.

Starting point is 00:31:53 I know. Easy. I know that out in post. It is. It's tile right now. Do now. It's my facial hair in post. Um, um, I think that somebody I'm sorry to cut off.

Starting point is 00:32:04 Like somebody was insulting the other. It was like, you look off. I think that somebody was insulting you. It was like, you look homeless. It's like, yeah, dude. You don't think I know what I'm fucking looking like? Oh, I've been looking at a mirror. I was trying to look sharp. I can't believe I look homeless. I was trying to look sharp with this beard.

Starting point is 00:32:18 Definitely not letting it go. I think you look good. Thanks. So the guy above me, she can't. She could get it. Yeah, that's a little much. She's a little much. She was close. And the hobo dog.

Starting point is 00:32:28 Yeah, he just need the tin can and the bag with a stick on it. True, you got the bandana on it. Yeah, that's right. You guys are riding the rails. I got my bike on my shoulder. You got a, you got a harmonica, canna beans. Canna beans. Yeah, campfire. I could got a break out of canna beans canna beans. Yeah, yeah

Starting point is 00:32:45 I could gotta bring out a canna beans out of my I'm gonna go as force gum for Halloween for us gum Yeah, I'm sitting with the baseball cap on oh That's good. There's good running against the wind So you I love me can't can't get into this place. She can't get into this place because he hates me I'm not going in there. I'm like, you got to, there's fucking flooding everywhere. So I won't go in, won't go in. I was like, oh, whatever, fine.

Starting point is 00:33:10 The people start pumping out the oxygen and whatever the heat. Finally, she's like, all right, I gotta go in. Dead. What? Dead. Who died? Guy above me.

Starting point is 00:33:22 Whoa. Dead. Yeah, I can't believe I interrupted that story. I mean, I was going somewhere. I was going there. Thought he was just talking about your shitty studio. Oh, I got it. Who's a dead guy?

Starting point is 00:33:32 Dead. In the studio. People above, like above, above, above, above, said they heard him coughing a bunch and then not coughing. Fuck. You're next. For sure. Who has opened the door in a flood?

Starting point is 00:33:43 Fucking six floors are all flooded. One floor doesn't fucking open. So was he all wet and dead floating? Oh my God. Just like one of those Rogan float chambers. Yeah. Yeah. It was just really meditative.

Starting point is 00:33:59 It's really, really out there. Yeah. Holy shit. So what happens? Is there a bunch of migrants living in there now? That's mad at kids. They gotta go somewhere. I got a little body.

Starting point is 00:34:09 Oh, sorry, sorry. It's just a bunch of people like, I picture a fan. It's so many here. It's a sanctuary city. Whatever that means. The way he was sitting in Brooklyn, is that where you, yeah. That's what you get. Oh, Brooklyn.

Starting point is 00:34:23 Trying to go to Brooklyn, trying to be cool. Yeah, you still have one in the village. I live there. Oh, yeah, I did my last one wasn't there. Yeah, it'd be a better place. Well, I'm gonna have to relocate. Ah, come back to the island. Yeah, it's better there.

Starting point is 00:34:36 Now, let me throw this at you guys. Throw it. So I'm trying to get life insurance. Why? Because on my tour, if you get life insurance, you get more money. What? I don't know. It's some weird loophole that my

Starting point is 00:34:46 Jew agent knew. If you know life insurance, what is your tour sponsored by like? Well, you get paid up front. You get paid up front and they want to know you're not going to die. What? So they're like, go get life insurance. What? Oh, I've nation gets money if you die on tour.

Starting point is 00:35:04 I think I'll get reimbursed from the. Yeah. like, go get live insurance. What? Fucking live nation gets money if you die on tour. They probably get reimbursed from the, yeah, I would imagine if you pay someone a contract to work for that. So that's a benefit for that. Is it a way these tours, yeah, you know, these tours, yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, these tours, it doesn't make sense. No.

Starting point is 00:35:18 They give you a little upfront, which is nice, but then it's like, like they don't call you and be like, we've got a $30 million contract for you. And you're like, holy fuck, this is it. It's like, what do I have to do? They're like, you have to earn $30 million. Yeah, exactly. And then it's like, wait, what's the contract?

Starting point is 00:35:34 Yeah. I just work for you for a decade. But they give you that advance up front. And you're like, I'll take it. Yeah, they give you a slight. Exactly. So you don't even do the math. They got us by the balls and these ticket prices,

Starting point is 00:35:44 they're raping everybody. Yeah. I do not have this contract problem. I'll be at a casino and Phil Delphi, I'll tell you what it's all about. That's definitely space. That's gonna be good. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:52 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They gave you what that's. All right. So that's hilarious. How do you get livin' shirts?

Starting point is 00:36:01 Yeah. So I'm talking to the lady. She's asking me all the questions. I'll do you smoke, do you drink? And I was like, no, no, no. I'm you get livin' shirts? So I'm talking to the lady, she's asking me all the questions. I hold you, do you smoke, do you drink? And I was like, no, no, no, not really.

Starting point is 00:36:10 One or two cocktails a week, you know, only the podcast, cause we might be drunk and I have a drinking problem, whatever, I'm hung over right now, but two drinks a week. And then she's like, what about weed? I go, I tried, I did gummies for every now and then to sleep, but I gave it up, I had no recall, I gave it up.

Starting point is 00:36:27 But I like to share it, it's just kind of like your, whatever it's called. Doctor? No, the thing you get with a job, you gotta give me a resume. Oh yeah. You just like lower your intake on everything. Yeah, totally.

Starting point is 00:36:40 Exaggerate your lack of use. So she goes, all right, sounds great. This is gonna be a breeze. We'll get this, we'll get this cooking. And I go, great. Two days later, how much weed are we talking? No, no, barely any. Is weed effect your life?

Starting point is 00:36:53 What? Yeah, weed's no good. That's crazy. I know, I'm like, for you. The Snoop Dogg not have life insurance. Like, why not? It's doctors tell you to smoke weed. Glacoma arthritis.

Starting point is 00:37:02 So she's like, what about any other drugs? Like, I don't do any drugs. And she's like, all right, somehow they saw Protector parks and we're eating mushrooms like a like a seal Rogan's thought about our mouth. I got denied. Yeah, obviously they sell protect our parts. Oh, these guys are Juggernaut whiskey were drinking out of an eagle's ass So if they sell protective bars, like these guys are dead. Yeah, it's an awesome. Sugar and whiskey were drinking out of an eagle's ass.

Starting point is 00:37:25 Yeah, we're being bogged. So he's taking horse pills for medicine. Yeah. The best part of a protective parks is when you see like a click, I was just watching it. I didn't even remember really us listening the free bird at the end of the episode. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:37:38 I saw a meme that was like your girlfriend's like, I bet he's out with girls and it's like me and my friends and the garage. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Oh, that was great. I got about 9 million messages. Stop talking during free bird you can't does a gosh, you're right.

Starting point is 00:37:52 I think I was I whenever we stuck in fucked up I started screaming. Yeah, yeah. The rest of the episode is just me screaming. I really got to play in reverse. You get quiet when I got to fucked up. Yeah, you do. You do. You pass out on those episodes pretty

Starting point is 00:38:06 you passed out like I said I'm not watching I was like this is funny it's funny the mushrooms make me start watching yeah that's when it starts fucking me up when you're a high on mushrooms you look around and you're in that room yeah and then Joe will hit you with some serious I get quiet that's so funny you get it right right which is funny because we reverse because at the beginning of every episode I don't talk. That's true. And then I start getting fucked up and I just start yelling. Yes. And then the most.

Starting point is 00:38:32 And then you play videos and I'm just like, I just want to see. Oh yeah, we got a comment on this. Well, the beauty's Rogan just go. He can just talk about like... He's non-stop. Yeah, this monkey here is a certain breed. I can do a Rubik's cube. I think I was like, shut up, Joe. I'm not interested in your fucking day. He wasn't the most annoying kid.

Starting point is 00:38:52 Just a monk got him up. And he's so curious at any pedophile. I can be like, come here. I'm gonna show you this. No, he got that one. He dodged that one. Oh, that's right. That fish is pedo.

Starting point is 00:39:00 That was the fish he was like, come here. He was fishing was real in Joe. He's getting all his out of. All he got to be like, I know a karate move, Joe. And he'd be like, oh, go ahead. I thought he was actually started by the Italian. Like, shut up. My shoulder's still hurt.

Starting point is 00:39:15 Oh, he got in there. He was beating the fuck out of me. She was listening to my coaching. I tried to pull him up. I couldn't even move. He's like a statue. He's a freak, dude. Yeah, that was fun.

Starting point is 00:39:25 He, when you jumped on him, he did a thing of like, you know what a giant gets like a cat on his back. Yeah. Yeah. And we did nothing. I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

Starting point is 00:39:38 I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was Vegas. Yeah. Man. That was like the strip. That was nice stretch, bro.

Starting point is 00:39:48 Woo. Yeah. That was a girl. That's a girl dog. I don't see a dog. It's pussy. Jenner's done, dude. Let's go, Joe.

Starting point is 00:39:56 He'll tell us. What? What do you got on the date? That's a great phone. Shane, I've sent you the woman's Instagram. Oh, plug. And I found it from DeRose's Instagram. So I'm not sure if he's ashamed of it or not I don't think you should be ashamed of it, but I don't think so either I think it's I don't think on area should be ashamed of it very progressive

Starting point is 00:40:17 Yeah, but he tagged her in the photo. So wow, I'm telling you I'm telling you. It's like four. You tagged me before. Instagram. Okay. Uh. You tagged me. I'm excited to see her again.

Starting point is 00:40:27 Yeah. She got her only fans. I, you know, you got some listeners who are fucking gets that only fans. Yeah, I didn't get a good, I only saw her when Joe's uh, phase was on her dick. Oh, I get it. Yeah, she's not right.

Starting point is 00:40:39 I get it. What are you guys talking about? What? I didn't know. That's the difference. That's what she was going for. You can see it in moments. You're saying this is a different...

Starting point is 00:40:48 No, that's what I'm not sure. I wasn't sure in real life. That's her. Oh, then I saw it. I hooked up with a different trend. You just found one on Fremont Street. That's her. Oh, you were at all.

Starting point is 00:40:59 I was not lying. Oh, I would do that. She follows me. All right. Nice for you. Oh, you're making me feel it. You're beautiful. You can just grab rough the follows me. All right. Nice. Well, you're gonna come back. So beautiful. You just grab rough the street. She's a skank. Like best. Like a fan, a fan, not a skank, skank.

Starting point is 00:41:12 Damn. Deroza posted. He said, big old dump number one from Skankfast. He posted a photo dump number one picture. Okay. That looks more like her. Oh, okay. All right, I see. Thank you, jump. Good for him though. He's, he's, yeah. Just probably can take a dump at that impact at S.

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Starting point is 00:46:12 Yeah, good time. So I got no life insurance. Oh, wow. That's very funny that they just watched protective parks. Yeah, oh no chance. Because they don't want to give it to you already. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:22 Why don't they give it to them? Isn't that their business? They don't want to pay it off once you die. They just think I'm gonna die. That sucks. I know, every comedian does this. God damn, I've got no shout out. No, you're fucked.

Starting point is 00:46:33 You're fucked. I wanted to tell you that, I wanted to the doctor, the guy was like, how much do you drink? I was like, six. I'll be honest with you. Because I was like, everybody dies. You should be out of your doctor.

Starting point is 00:46:42 Everybody lies. I was like, I'll tell you the truth. I probably have 50 a week. And he was like, everybody lies. You should be asking your doctor. Everybody lies. I was like, I'll tell you the truth. I probably have 50 a week. And he was like, oh my God. He was like, oh, well, the problems you're having, it's your pancreas has to be failing. This is, we're gonna go get some blood work right now. That's an, you can't be doing that.

Starting point is 00:46:59 So what happened? I got blood work and he was like, you're fine. Oh, see, they always do that. Yeah. Come on. And you're young. And doctors are drunk, still. They're li're fine. Oh, see they always do that. Yeah. Come on, and you're young. And doctors are drunk, still, they're liars. They are, but they IV all day long. I don't buy the IV, dude.

Starting point is 00:47:12 I found my doctor's focus secret. You don't buy the, they do it or you don't buy the new works. I don't buy it, how well it works. It's never works. How could it hurt? Okay, how could it hurt? I don't think it hurts. I bet for your health, it does work.

Starting point is 00:47:23 I do agree with that. I'm just saying that it does not cure a hangover. No, nothing does not matter. It's all worse on it It was like yeah, it does fuck you up a little bit. But Adderall will carry hangover you will you'll be a little bit anxious Don't look at that outlet Come here dog. Yes, Adderall cares hangover Yes, Adderall cares I hang over some other beer lean on you That's a good pop dude. It's a good looking bitch. You got a good dog. I five Hey Hobo knows his dog. It's a very serious dog though. Oh, yeah, it's regal shit face is always very

Starting point is 00:48:02 It's almost sad face is always very almost sad. What do you do this? You make out, I've seen you make out. Don't do it, I can't handle. Don't make out the dog, no one likes it. It's weird, especially with that beard, and I got dog gizz in the beard. Yeah, your breath smells like we're all meat sometimes.

Starting point is 00:48:17 Yeah. You're like, are you saying it? It's a bit de-rosis. Can't believe de roses did that. I know it was once you see the picture you go. Yeah, they come with drinks in a champ. I don't think it's my thoughts.

Starting point is 00:48:31 I go to refucked up. We we should have been going to temple this whole time. We should be part of this world. Yeah, there goes Dave's presidential bid. Yeah, right. How's it? He had a kid like during skankfest. I think his wife got a kid. No way really. Yeah, and. How's it? You had a kid like during Skankfest. I think his wife got a kid.

Starting point is 00:48:46 No way really? Yeah, and he showed. I fucked a kid during Skankfest. Oh. Look at my school. Got it. Look at my school. I'm going to high school in Vegas.

Starting point is 00:49:00 Well, I want to do Orleans. So what the hell? Adam Friedland's from Vegas. Really? Yeah. I thought for sure he was in New York? Where Adam, Adam Friedland's from Vegas. Really? Yeah. I thought for sure he was in New York, Jew. Yeah, he seemed like he's like, the most New York Jew possible. Crazy looking dude.

Starting point is 00:49:12 He just had a crazy guest on. He had chat hangs. Yeah. Love chat hangs. Yeah. That guy's awesome. Yeah. That's awesome.

Starting point is 00:49:21 Chat hangs is very funny. Yeah. He's totally in on the joke. He was the only one who did well on that Who's the black lady that had that show that was? Z-way, Z-way, he was the only one that fucking did well. So what he could get a fight back just like yeah Yeah, she was like come on. Give me something. He's like no, fuck him. You're just gonna edit those Yeah, but he he held in he dominates. Stay in the pocket. He did some insane joke her quote. Oh

Starting point is 00:49:43 Yeah, I'm like a dog. If I catch a car, I don't know what I don't know. What I'll even do with it. He came into Eric Andre said it was guests of all time. He said he came in trying to like make it funny. He was like, fuck with you. Yeah, yeah. I actually respected his response to Eric Andre saying he was a dickhead.

Starting point is 00:49:59 What do you say? He was like, you're a dickhead. The whole show is you being an asshole to people. I wasn't going to be the butt of the joke. Or like something along those lines. Yeah, you're dickhead. The whole show is you being an asshole to people. I wasn't gonna be the butt of the joke or like something along those lines. Yeah, he's not wrong. I guess he took a dirt bike and was driving it around on set. They're like,

Starting point is 00:50:11 Oh, you're fucking everything off. You're pretty, all right. I guess you're going to eat. Yeah. I'm not gonna do something out. You mean Hannibal Puncher buddy. Yeah, I can't fucking. Yeah, there's a dirt bike there.

Starting point is 00:50:22 That's great. That's a great response. Like he rode the dirt bike around. Yeah, it was like, he was rules dirt bike there. That's great. That's a great response. Like he wrote the dirt bike round Yeah, he was rolls He was in an episode of Atlanta. I can just had a tornado out of the accent the whole time really it was pretty great Good for him What do you think do you think Tom watches it and he's like, uh, geez or is he like, yeah, that's a fun son I think it's a fun son. I think at this point it's a fun time

Starting point is 00:50:40 I think for a while it was a little like ooh this kid. What this kid gonna do yeah yeah the other kid was yeah Collin he's a great actor yeah but yeah he went you know family business and the other guy went rogue yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna follow your footsteps and time makes like I wish I wouldn't live in my shadow the other one's like I'm gonna be an online degenerate I'm gonna speak padtois I wonder if he's ever like fuck you dead you're a a pedophile. I've seen Reddit. Not saying he is, but that's all over the internet. By the way, I wrote a pedophile joke for Jervase. He did it in the monologue at the Golden Globes or whatever.

Starting point is 00:51:17 You wrote on the Golden Globes? I just wrote out of I maybe cut this out. Cut this out. I was a big Jervais fan when he did the whole Trashing the gloves or whatever the mind was so good except a word from Al-Kaeda if they had a network. Yes. Yes. He's an empty and I know he's your friend all that so I sent him a batch of jokes I wrote and On Twitter I DMed him on Twitter sent him a batch of jokes and he wrote back. Hey man

Starting point is 00:51:44 I probably not gonna use any of, but there's some funny stuff and I appreciate it. I like your work and I was like, oh my god, whatever. And then he used one and it was a pedophile joke. And then they cut the Tom Hanks and he goes, that was meant the world. That's incredible. That's great. That's pretty cool. That's great. Congrats. Thanks. Yeah. Just how long ago was this? Six years ago. Seven years ago. I just threw it out there. That's great. That's pretty cool. That's great. Congrats. Thanks. Yeah. Just how long ago was this six years ago? Seven years ago. I just threw it out there. You never know. Put it in posts.

Starting point is 00:52:12 No, I'll keep that. That's great. I don't know what that is. People to know that he had writers. Oh, everybody has writers for those. All right. Well, fair enough. I, that's fair. We'll talk about it later. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:23 You don't think that's bad? I don't think that's bad. No, it's known. We'll talk about it later. Yeah, yeah. You don't think that's bad? I don't think that's bad. No, I think it's no. Everybody's running. Anybody that does a one show has writers. Okay, but they choose the just as number one credit. Oh, yeah. He wrote for Chris Raul.

Starting point is 00:52:34 Good point. Yeah, good point. Okay. No, there's number one, Vos is the man. Vos is the boss. Yeah, let me correct that. Vos is the boss. We just had Vos on and then I went in the route.

Starting point is 00:52:43 I thought I'd rabbit hole on YouTube of just like tough. Tough crowd, ONA Vos. ONA Vos is the boss on and then I went in the route. I found a rabbit hole on YouTube of just like tough, tough crowd, ONA boss, ONA bosses. The bad. He's the king of counter, but oh fucking funny. He got me once that it fucked me up so bad that I like I didn't talk the rest of the OP and Jim. I said I said a boss show go there like what's the weather and I said I don't know. It's raining near boss. I'm spit joke and they had a guest on like a scientist and he goes,

Starting point is 00:53:06 oh, that's pretty good. Hey, man, you ever heard of Mark Dorman? The guy goes, no. And it just killed it. It's hard at the room. I was sitting next to the guy. And he had nerve, I mean, oh my god, it's done so bad. And I was like, god, I did the fake laugh.

Starting point is 00:53:20 And then I shut up the whole show. I just, I watched the Vals roast. It's on YouTube. It's so show. I just we watched the boss roast. It's on YouTube. It's so good. I was there that night and it was crazy. Yeah. It was actually right after Skankfest in New York and it was a Skankfest when I was in Philly.

Starting point is 00:53:35 So they gave me like a 2 p.m. spot in the garage at the creek. It was fun. And I was, no, I hated it. I was like, fuck this. Fuck all these cocks. Fuck all these New York guys. I think they're so fucking good. Fuck this. I hate. I'm never, no, I hated it. I was like, fuck this, fuck all these cocks, fuck all these New York guys. I think they're so fucking good, fuck this. I hate, I'm never gonna live in New York.

Starting point is 00:53:48 Then the next night I went to Vos's roast, and I was like, damn, New York's easily the best. He's the best. He's the best comic. But Colin Quinn at the end of that is, he's like, what are you, what are you, what are you, what are you, Skankfest, what's that?

Starting point is 00:54:02 Coachello for Middles. Ha! And then I remember, I think, what's his face? What's the guy with the voice? 14. He killed. It was so great. He had one he goes. Everybody makes.

Starting point is 00:54:14 He had one he goes. Everybody makes. He's gold was good. Yeah. Watches. Do you need gold? Who's the only one that bought? Oh, well, I have long gold.

Starting point is 00:54:22 Oh, my mouth is way off. But, uh, Florentine goes, I have bought it. But it makes fun of Bonnie, but she moved here. And she's living the American dream. She got dumb rich. Yeah. Oh, yeah, exactly. That was a funny one. The Florentine. Oh, Gomez did great.

Starting point is 00:54:35 Gomez did great. Well, Zac Amico did great. Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny. It's a well-known thing, use writers. And then it's embarrassing to say use writers. Real fat Bobby. Fat Bobby. Almost the height of Bobby's so funny. It's a well-known thing. Use writers and then it's embarrassing to say use writers real fat Bobby

Starting point is 00:54:46 Almost the height of Bobby's fatness. Yeah, or the width of it. I mean that's it was wild. Yeah, yeah They got it. They went hard. It was great. That was pre-keyed stroke. No, it was right after It's right after the whole time they're just making fun of His new stroke materials killer. He's the best. He got an epilix I heard. I hope he has that's gonna be. That's gonna be kill. He's got that bit about it. He's like, it's weird.

Starting point is 00:55:10 I like to make fun of retarded people. And I always see him and laugh. And then I'm like, I look in the mirror. I'm like, oh, shit. I can't do it. I butchered that, but it's like. That's a good one. That's fun to follow Keith with new material

Starting point is 00:55:28 Kills with a black disabled guy murdering come on me like all right You know, you guys think about high school football Vos Vos was hosting once the old standard right after Keith had the stroke and he followed him comes in with his with you know And with right hand all fucked up and he's trying. And he goes, you know how hard it is, Hollywood, they audition Keith. This crazy thing happened to him and the audition him for this role of a man with how hard a tackle, one arm doesn't work. And he's like studying, he fucking nailed the role and they go, sorry, we need a guy with a left hand, doesn't work. At the Patrice Benefit this year, they played the fucking jeopardy music for his when he walked on stage because it took him so long. That's great.

Starting point is 00:56:09 He's like, boss introduced him. He was like, this is probably next year's benefit. Make some noise. Problems. Yeah, they didn't know when he died when Patrice died. And it was like, all these sad, you know, it's sad. It was all these stories about how much they loved him. And there was a weird somber moment at the end

Starting point is 00:56:26 and David Tel goes, guys, you got a donate because we got to buy a giant purple suit. So, that was great. Or a purple coffin, fuck, I think I fucked it up. Yeah, works both ways. All right, I can't get life insurance. Pfft. Why didn't you get life insurance

Starting point is 00:56:42 to make more money on the road? That doesn't make any sense. Because they want to know, they're going to either get their money back through the insurance. Yes. Or this. Yes, there you go.

Starting point is 00:56:52 If the money back they fronted you. They look, if he dies, if he dies, the advance is pretty big. The insurance will cover what they, yeah. You don't think your mom's going to be like, no, fuck age. Yeah, that's my money. No, the mom's going to keep the gonna be like, no fuck age. It's my money. No, the mom's gonna keep the advance.

Starting point is 00:57:07 Yeah, yeah. The business will get refunded through insurance for his death. So what they were owed in the future on the, what they paid. Right, so what's your life insurance policy? Am I explaining this? I don't know, I have the bare minimum. Is there a good mark on you? Yeah, you can't, you get a waiting year.

Starting point is 00:57:23 It's gonna try to have you out. Oh, we have it before anybody can kill you. Wait, no, I'm saying if you don't you get a waiting year. Oh, we have before anybody can kill you wait No, I'm saying if you don't get it. I'm glad you guys are fucking retarded with this shit Yeah, I don't know one thing like insurance like no idea forget about last year I got a phone call from my lady and she's like all right. This is what you know. I'm ruined. Yeah I had no idea. What are you talking? I know That's all I have I know everything I know What are you talking? I know. You can make a big deal about what you hate. So that's all I have. I know. That was everything.

Starting point is 00:57:46 I didn't know. I knew you worked. They fuck you. I'm paying a retail for one clause. Let's go. Taxes. I did the math on moving to Texas. Like how much I would have saved and it was quite hefty. Yeah, it was worth living in Texas. Yeah, it's like people's.

Starting point is 00:58:00 I'm going to go to the goals. I'm going to Delaware. Same benefits and none of the fun. I don't know. It's dealt. I don't think Delaware's no state income No, it's just no sales tax. Oh really? To the research Fuck I got a house and woman just outside Wilmington Texas is Florida. I think Texas Florida, Tennessee Philly I mean, I have Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania.

Starting point is 00:58:25 You're the last can they pay you to live there? I'm that Pennsylvania is good though. It's like 7% okay. New York's like 13 I think or 14. You should know this. I do. New York City. A lot.

Starting point is 00:58:37 Yeah, it's crazy. The city's a lot. The what's it called tax? The home taxes way lower in California than Texas. It's property property taxes. Ways property tax in Austin is a lot. That than Texas. Texas property. Property taxes. Ways property tax in Austin is a lot. That's shocking. That's how well that's where they get it.

Starting point is 00:58:49 Yeah, right. Okay. I'm going to talk in Austin except smoking weed. We eat is where they draw line portions. Abortions. Abortions there. All right. I've never had one.

Starting point is 00:59:02 What? I've paid for a bunch. Oh, I see. I'm never on my deal. Yeah. I've never had one. What? I've paid for a bond. I see. I'm never, I'm on my deal. I've never paid for one. Really? Nice bro.

Starting point is 00:59:11 Make the pay. She paid. She paid. She's trying it again. I've used the wrong hand in my mouth. She paid. Ooh, feminism. Feminism.

Starting point is 00:59:21 Feminism means paying for an abortion by yourself. Yeah, the migrants. What else is, the migrants what else is going on? I really didn't plan on doing a podcast and I realized Matt was gone and you needed to do one half a should yeah Drive him to find his podcast. I should do one. Yeah Now usually it's Matt just sitting there telling me a random fucking thing Good at it Random things you guys don't you guys have any Little guy fucking died that was really good. I went to a sex club in Berlin. Oh, it's the best. Yeah

Starting point is 01:00:04 It's a brother to his Berlin. Yeah, interesting. They do I know and that weird They do it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's walk into this, it's basically an apartment complex. There's a swimming pool inside. There's a hot girl doing a rope over the pool. There's a midget running around naked, jerking off. There's a naked guy in a wheelchair. There's nothing but hot women there wearing nothing but like a chain here and there. And there's a tango room. There's a techno room. There's a room just with people getting hurt.

Starting point is 01:00:44 Like a dominatrix is whipping a guy or a Gladi's getting wax port on her. It's insane. It's a feast for the senses Really is and usually people were fucking in front of everybody's fucking this couches everywhere There's you just walk by like oh, I saw I saw I wanted somebody's honor knees guys But by then I've been there for an hour, so I was just like whatever. Yeah, yeah, it starts to gel like three hours in you see fat guys just dancing with nothing Yeah, yes, wow next a super model dancing all totally this hits out bars every each bar Is a different theme? Well, I saw bartender with like I was with like an apron on and he's like I here You go and he turns around

Starting point is 01:01:21 with like an apron on and he's like, oh, here you go, here you go. And he turns around. Just boys and girls. Yeah. Where'd that go? I saw Lady Goodfuck in the ass right next to me. Yeah, it was crazy. Oh, it's smell.

Starting point is 01:01:32 It's gonna smell a little right? Mad, I didn't notice. That's nice. What are you going, Ready? It was wild. And so I just did shrooms because I didn't want to, Jesus. I didn't want to push it, but that was a mistake.

Starting point is 01:01:42 Yeah. It's so much to see and take in that, yeah, that's true. That's intense. Kind of threw me off, but I was drinking want to, I didn't want to push it, but that was a mistake because it's so much to see and take in that, uh, that's true. It's intense kind of threw me off, but I was drinking a lot, but, uh, so eventually you're in there for like seven hours because you just start forget, you lose track, there's no clocks, no windows, no nothing. Pay the cover charge. Pay the cover and I'll never be there again.

Starting point is 01:02:00 So I go, Hey, lady, we got a, we got a bang in here. And she was like, Oh, yeah, I guess we should Crazy that I got hard. It's in public. It's all in public and What the fuck? The techno room had a little dark room like a landing. Yeah, and there was people like laying on couches You know some people like tripping out making out. And so I was like, let's go over here. I put her on a table and we start plowing. And this guy tapped me on the shoulder and I was like, oh, we're probably in trouble.

Starting point is 01:02:33 Maybe I'm in the wrong room or something because I'm fucking in public. Yeah, that's fair. You'd be like, I'm probably the one who fault. Yeah, exactly. It's not like what? And he's this big guy, we're in a wifebeater and he goes, me next, a wifebeater and he goes

Starting point is 01:02:49 Me next me next in a German accent. I was like, oh, I get that But he's not that's not weird, right? Yeah, he's in the right and I was like, no, get out of here And I kind of shake him up, but now I'm a little rattled by that. I'm like I should let him go next. I should of yeah, I was big Like the Roses This is weird dude. It was weird but super fucked up. How's the fucking there when you fuck? Yeah when in Rome he start to adapt. I would.

Starting point is 01:03:12 You could do it. I would never. You could do it. What's the craziest place you fucked a girlfriend or anybody? That's up there. That's very public. Monster's Inc. The movie?

Starting point is 01:03:22 Yes. In the theater. I fucking clerks too. Hey. That's the. The movie? Yes. In the theater. I fucking clerks too. Hey, that's the best thing during that movie. Movie's done. I beach. That was a beach. I do know subway once. Ocean. That was pretty disgusting. That doesn't work. It doesn't work. Two salty. Sand in place. Subway. Subway. Come back from Coney Island. Sandwich shop. And it was a torrential rainstorm. We're like, fuck, we got to the subway. No one was on our car.

Starting point is 01:03:47 The car next to the train. That's awesome. We both looked at each other. We're like, yeah. We'll detrain. Yeah. That's awesome. I think it was.

Starting point is 01:03:54 Wow. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, that was pretty awesome. And yeah, what did you do at the stops? You stopped and you're like, come on, nobody get on, nobody get on. It was that, exactly that. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 01:04:03 We got the idea that the stops you was blowing me. And then it was like stop like come on It's still nobody in that one and then we're like towards that when somebody might have come on the far I'm like let's just go and then we're just like wow wow Stan and then you and then it starts to fill up as you go and then the concert's dripping out What the fuck's wrong with you guys? He always say this bright jizz all over the subway. Yeah, it's just come on with it.

Starting point is 01:04:28 Sorry, he's bummed jizz. Oh, dude. God, I'm my baby. Well, she wearing a skirt or something? No, jeans, I think probably took a maybe shorts. I don't remember exactly. Wow, shorts was the big. It was pretty great.

Starting point is 01:04:42 Yeah, that's great. That club is great. Yeah, it's fucking nuts. It was the big. Great. Yeah, that's great. That club is great. Yeah, fucking nuts. So I didn't finish. So I'm Joe. I'm Jim. I'm I'm grindin. I'm I'm plowing. Yeah, you're trying to Guy after the tap. I'm a little rattled and I look to my left full on old guy just going Like here to here, this close. And I'm like, ah, I couldn't take it. And I just said, all right, we're done. And she's like, what? She was kind of getting into it.

Starting point is 01:05:12 Like, wait, why are we stopping? And I go, and she goes, ah! And she goes, I just got to go next. Yeah, and it was like ball bag down to here. Big white. Wow. Gross dong. And I said, that's a wrap sister.

Starting point is 01:05:23 And we went and had a cocktail. Oh Yeah, how fun wait, were you fucking totally naked fucking no, I was too scared I just don't pull I put a down here and pulled out of the boxers. Okay Boxers you wouldn't even lower your boxers. No, I didn't want my ass out It's too exposed. It's too vulnerable Yeah, exactly. I already got the tap. And how'd the lady feel about this?

Starting point is 01:05:49 She was, she was mad I stopped. That's nice. But I was like, She was like this is a German guy right there. Yeah, that's what you couldn't. There's a big German Nazi helmet next to me. It got struck. His name was Helmut.

Starting point is 01:06:00 Helmut Lang. Helmut Wang. Yeah. That's wild. How much of being that normalized? Like, hey, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, all right, dude, jeez, you don't have to yell at me. Yeah, you're like, get out of here. I was like, ah, I did that. You did that. It's a language barrier. I was like, pigeons. I was like, ah, it's a bug in here. You saw an old man jacking off.

Starting point is 01:06:35 Next to me, you guys make some eye contacts when you looked at it. A little bit, and he was grunting and sweating. It was too much. That make it your heart again. No, no, it freaked me out. It was too close. Like, if he was was right where guard rail is I could have done it But he was like where you were oh God and she was doggy at that point. I flipped her to doggy so she didn't see anything. Oh, I want to go to one of those things

Starting point is 01:06:57 I want to go around people fucking I Want to just go as a guy like, yeah, that's accepted. I can't believe that place isn't packed with dudes jacking off. Well, they're very big, very big, but you're not allowed the jack off like that. Well, it was all it was like 70, 30 women. They let it women and gay is hard. Yeah, yeah, they were hard. We only got to get the fuck in each other. No, no, all right.

Starting point is 01:07:27 Making out, but very I saw like one one guy make it out with a guy. What's the fucking vibe in here? Is it like it's super laid back. It's just very like, Hey, man, you know, and this would be shut down in six minutes in America. Good. I know. I believe the charge is we got to burn that fucking place. It was it was worth seeing. We felt is, we got to burn that fucking place to the ground. It was, it was worth seeing. We felt like Caligula. It was felt like the Roman Empire. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:07:50 Just women laying out on, on the bed after they got in the pool, it was completely naked and you're like, trying to be cool. Yeah. But, ooh, it was wild. Very hot. I gotta get back there.

Starting point is 01:08:04 It was a live band in one room. I mean, it was incredible. I didn't do shit. Yeah, you didn't fucking throw him a guy. No, one of you guys number. I'll find him. He's around. He's hopefully he hears this call in, sir. We got helmet from Berlin, call it good. This motherfucker would not let anybody fuck this woman. Yeah, I will say I did a show there and the crowd I did the Holocaust jokes for 20 minutes and they ate it up. They like yeah, yeah, yeah, I think they like it It's a nice release. I think they're seeking to bring it back Yeah, it doesn't feel like it's two generations past We got bigger shit. It didn't feel like I went to Australia And it's just like the average and all the average the native the native their upset such pussy

Starting point is 01:08:51 I know it's like you didn't you didn't do anything your grandpa did or whatever and It's like every commercial you get off the airplane. They hit you with it. Yeah, just I mean get them in Australian Canada and just relax every show they start with like we need to acknowledge knowledge knowledge that this club wouldn't have been here if not You know, I have to go lucky fucking lose in a battle. Yeah, right what you call To go lucky, I don't know whatever. It's just like this isn't the right vibe for a comedy show These are but there's not happening stories on YouTube. They would just put any commercials.

Starting point is 01:09:26 So it'd be somebody bringing that out of their neck like, oh, make them a thing. I made it. And she's mad for me. And then Brian Riegel's like, oh, I've watched that a lot of crazy ball. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:09:36 Like, is that bad opener? I know, right? I think we put any ad. Do a Charmin ad. But you make fun of the aboriginals right away. And they're like, oh, you know, because we've been impacted with this shit. I gotta have an aboriginal open for me and then like stop them a minute in.

Starting point is 01:09:53 I had a, I had a Maori open that guy Rudy, did you do your, yeah, he was cool. You have McCann too. And McCann. McCann's great. Did he just text you about a, no, he's moving here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he needs us to write a letter. Oh, yes, I didn't I didn't even reply. I should have. Yeah, I said, can you write it outside? I'll sign anything right now. Fucking recommendation letter. Yeah, I don't

Starting point is 01:10:13 know what to write. This guy kills aboriginals. Is he fleeing Australia? A lot of these guys in Europe or wherever they get this. They open just to the one guy who is big English, not New Zealand. So they open for all of us. Yeah. And then it's like, Hey, you better do material because it's the same crash. His act is killers. He's got great, great stuff. This is a good dog.

Starting point is 01:10:33 Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I like dogs. You like bags? I like fucking cats too. I don't know. You know that. I'm a cat man. I'm a cat man myself.

Starting point is 01:10:44 People get very upset. I know. It's lame. They always are like, I like dogs. It's like know if you guys know that. I'm a cat man. I'm a cat man myself. People get very upset. I don't know. It's lame. Cats are great. They always were like, I like dogs. It's like, yeah, I love dogs. Two things. I like cats.

Starting point is 01:10:52 Can we talk about it here? My cat plays fetch. It's great. Yeah, wait really? Yeah. Yeah. Love's a main coon. I want a main coon.

Starting point is 01:11:00 That's what I want. Yeah. They're the dog of cats that call it. It's best of both worlds. They sleep next to, they watch the TV with you. They're the dog of cats that call it. It's best of both worlds. They sleep next to they watch the TV with you. They're great. Very social. We had a party.

Starting point is 01:11:10 The cats walk it around high five and people smoking. Jacking off. Jacking off. Jacking off. You guys fucking. I banged the wife today and I had to move the cat off the bed because he wants to be around people. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:11:22 Can't do it with a cat watching. No, it's hard. Plus also they're gonna it with a care watching. No, it's hard. Plus also they're gonna snap at your fucking balls. Oh, it's a perfect bag. Yeah, they're all made with just a... Yeah, I'm loving a catch. It's just like... Yeah, it's always a slap sound too.

Starting point is 01:11:37 A rapper. I don't know if there's anyone people don't like that. All I watch on Instagram is cats. Same. They take attacks on each other. Yeah. It's like they like wait to the buddy and then. Yeah, such cons.

Starting point is 01:11:50 What are we supposed to do to how do people now like them? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I've got to eat something. It's a little thin. It's like alley Mcbeal. The right size Bennett. Ali Mcbeagle. Mark's a much attention. Mcbeal. That's an old reference. How about you, if that bitch about better? Bennett get up here.

Starting point is 01:12:13 Yeah. Yeah. She gets a more lay. This is like the Simpson's dog. Yeah, you got skinny fucking dog. It's the right size. We need to have that thing hang out with sash. It looks like the future on my animal.

Starting point is 01:12:26 Oh, yeah. What's that? You got a drama on the Bronkers? No. It's dogs a bit of a horror. Yeah, it is. It's like everybody. It kind of disappoints me. You're next. He think it's special. I thought I had something going there. Guardians of the Galaxy passing around. Guardians of the Galaxy. The guard though. He's a big superstar. What do you mean? He got drunk the other day and said he literally looked at me goes I'm next up. Yeah. No wonder you never talk. He said shit like that. He did not say that. I could never imagine having a cup right away.

Starting point is 01:13:00 I did. I did. For really long. I made that up. Where we at this? We're at an hour an hour 10. That did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did hall or something. There's a lot of reddit posts about it. So I don't know we're fine Yeah, I'm telling you man. It is out there and love it every minute of it Not not embarrassed Yeah, he did it 50 58. He did it. Yeah This is here before time was recorded. Well, he's always telling me he's like, oh man, me and David Brenner did Yucky, because

Starting point is 01:13:49 I'm like, how old are you? He's gonna hold the whole thing. He's gonna hold the whole thing. He's gonna hold the whole thing. He's gonna hold the whole thing. He's gonna hold the whole thing. He's gonna hold the whole thing. He's gonna hold the whole thing.

Starting point is 01:13:57 He's gonna hold the whole thing. He's gonna hold the whole thing. He's gonna hold the whole thing. He's gonna hold the whole thing. He's gonna hold the whole thing. He's gonna hold the whole thing. He's gonna hold the whole thing. He's gonna hold the whole thing. He's gonna hold the whole thing. He's gonna hold the whole thing. He's gonna hold the whole though. You did a hard stuff. Yeah. Me and my having a tough time with our relationship.

Starting point is 01:14:06 Really? He would come in and we'd love each other, but we just fought every, like it would always start as us. We never had a regular real conversation. And what do we just always make fun of each other a lot? He would come in immediately like, what's up Joe, you fucking idiot?

Starting point is 01:14:17 And he's like, fuck you. And he's like, oh, right enough. Yeah. Yeah. He might be the best hang. He is. He's great. He's great. He is. He's also the number one guy who's about to throw up and will still try to get you to do shots with him. Yeah, yeah Love shot So stupid and then we don't he calls you a pussy for 10 minutes and he only stops to go throw up also

Starting point is 01:14:37 He's a shit talker. He's a shit talker. That's true. I mean he thrived on your show. He really shined You know, that's true. I mean, he thrived on your show. He really shined. Yeah. He was going in. Who'd you get? Who else you get? Oh, a couple of, a couple of ladies got it pretty hard on the chin there. Oh, yeah. And this is audience yelling it out. And then Lewis comes in with Robert Kelly, unbeknownst what the story, what the show is.

Starting point is 01:15:04 And I'm like, hey, who's he was just pretending to be an obvious member. He's like, oh, how about this car? So we just shit on Bobby Kelly for a while. It was great. It was a pack, dude. I mean, the people are like standing on the walls, sitting in the sitting on stage, it was crazy. It was the last minute of the ad was great. I don't have five time. You got to do that every year. Yeah, we got to close it out. We do it at the company fest in New York. fuck it. Do it at Montreal. Now they got to do what's his name at Montreal. Who's the guy does this state of the union? Oh, Kindler. Yeah, I think it's his one gig a year. Yeah, he does the state of the union. It's like you're not even in comedy What he's fucking talking about is tweeting. Yeah, he's tweeting a little fuck week media

Starting point is 01:15:52 Anyway any who oh, yeah, that's good. You got a gig you got a gig right? I got shows I'm still arming into in an hour. Yeah, you should go I should probably go yeah I got to go down there too. I got fucking Late spots you have spots where no tonight I'm gonna do a takeover of Joe's barb right and come on tour the Midwest with Rennazese all remember. Oh hell yeah. Yeah come on. I don't say I'll be all come hang. Yeah. All right nice let's get tuned up though.

Starting point is 01:16:14 A little bit. I'll just hang in. I got obviously. Yeah. Yeah fine. I will. I don't tell my life insurance lady. All right. Goodbye. Thank you. I got you don't tell my life insurance lady. All right. Goodbye. Thank you

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 462 - Protect Our Dawg Parks (feat. Mark Normand & Ari Shaffir)

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