Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 464 - Not A Fireside Chat

Episode Date: October 19, 2023

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Rejoice! At last The D.A.W.G.Z. have been reunited down Tejas way. We're officially back in Biz. We stand today on the edge of a New Frontier. LIVE from SGs new Casa. Lets MF go0o0o0o0o0o0o0o. Please enjoy. God bless you all.  Visit thefreezepipe.com and use code DRENCHED for 10% off your order This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try for 10% off your 1st month at betterhelp.com/mssp & get on your way to being your best self Get 25% OFF @ trueclassic with Promo Code DRENCHED at https://trueclassictees.com/DRENCHED #trueclassicpod    

Here we go. What's going on dude? Good to be just having a regular chat dude. Just nobody deal with nothing new with the fireside normal chat. We're here with our new and real producer trail Josh. Kabaza Josh dude. What's up? How you doing man? I love fucking Josh. Kabaza.

Gardini Lamar. Where the fog are you guys? It's crazy to have like an actual yeah, dude producer. Totally legit. Look at that. Thank you. Appreciate it. Yeah.

How these two fools fiddle in with the camcorder dude. Two stoners fucking that. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah, I think he's too full to fiddle in with the camcorder dude two stoners fucking around Eating chips Dude I've been waiting dude. I've been down here. I know every night wonder if you're looking at the same moon That was fun. It was fun to get down here. It's great. It's totally just orienting to be in a different place I've never bring you always makes you never moved. I was like I want to fill it up here from now move I'll count far away so sad. It's so sad and scary dude. Yeah, someone was crying dude My fucking fail if my family dinner. I looked at my brother looked at me and I was like

Yeah, I didn't I didn't quite cry I looked at my brother, looked at me and I was like, see you guys. Look at my guys. Yeah, I didn't quite cry, but driving from the airport, getting here, I was like driving through, just because there was traffic, I was like, fuck, I fucked up. This is a huge mistake. I wanna be home. That's the issue too.

That's the thing, I'm a catastrophizer. So anything that's going slightly wrong, I'll be in my car like, I can't do this. I can't do anything. This is all fucked up. Everything's fucked. Everything's wrong. I need to go home.

This is a mistake. That's been the last two weeks of my life. Just go any friction. I go, I can't do this. I can't do this. I cried when I got to Spain, dude. That was a big move. Oh, my Spain.

I just laid in bed the first day. It was like, no, no, no, no, no. Movers should help you the Spain. I just laid in bed the first day. Just like, oh, that was terrible. It was my mom and dad. You get off, get off me. I still saw my dad, like mom and dad, like once every four months anyway. Yeah, true. It's not going to be a big change.

True. But your first between three hours in here is not. Yeah. Huge. True, you know, with the flights and whatnot. Oh, you've been in Philly the whole time. Yeah, I haven't fucking gone anywhere. I was just sitting here and feeling it. I thought you lived in New York. Since I was 18 you've been in Philly the whole time. Yeah, I haven't fucking gone anywhere. I was just sitting here and feeling

healthy. I thought you lived in New York. Since I was 18, I lived in Philadelphia since I was 18. Wow. Yeah, then I moved. I told you I walked past, I was in the airport this weekend when I was trying

to get to Spokane. And there was a, I had to connect to flight and I saw a Philadelphia flight and like a moth. I literally started to walk towards it and was like, that's not your home, dude. Oh, I got so sad. Oh, that's so sad. I started just like a to walk towards it and was like, that's not your own dude. I got so sad. I started just like a dog walking towards it and I was like,

where are we right now? I mean Denver, I have to get the Spokane. Dude, not knowing where you are is the weirdest. I didn't know. I was late because I was with Chappelle all week, not big deal. But then not big deal. I was going to tell you as well. That's what I was.

Oh, by the way, all right, let me tell you about that. So I was with Dave Chappelle, was filming a new special. It was pretty cool. I think I'm allowed to say it. Yeah, thanks a lot. You were there. Yeah.

But he filmed it at where he filmed killing him softly. So it was like, it was pretty sick. Yeah. And then they were like, Dave wanted to open. I was like, yes, I'll absolutely be there. And then I get there and I'm the first opener, which is fine. Yeah, and then they were like, Dave wanted to open. I was like, yes, I'll absolutely be there. And then I get there and I'm the first opener, which is fine. Yeah, totally fine. Obviously fine.

The other two was, it was Lou Nell on Earthquake. Yeah, obviously, I'm number one. For sure. And then I get in there, but because it's a taping, they have to start on time. So they're like, all right, seven, get the fuck out there. Dude, I go out to 30% full, all black room. Lights on, no one's in their seats.

People are just, the whole time, people are just walking in. Everyone's, I fucking, every single show, I fucking ate it. Like you wouldn't believe. And I just had to stand there like, hey, what's up guys? People were just, I would make a joke, and people would feel be like, no. Oh, no. You know how ice is is cool, right?

And of course it was this past week. Some of them like, I support the terrorists. I'm just kidding. That's what sucks me. I'm not changing my shit, dude. You guys figured out. That was my saving moment was I would finish I'm be like I understand this isn't the best week for this material. That would be a laugh

That's pretty funny. The only laughs I got was making fun of my own stuff Yeah, you do suck Was like guys, you don't know. I'm actually pretty good in the white community But yeah, you should be like you're giving up. We were in sunglasses after some reason. I just played around No, I do it all the time Yeah, but ever have given up your word and sunglasses after some reason. I just played around It's what you were doing. No, I do it all the time. I get it. Yeah, but ever out the dinner at nighttime I look that's one thing for sure the back media is right against the honkies true sunglasses inside Fuck at nighttime to dark club What's the point of it? You can't see it Yeah, but no one gets a good read on you.

I might start doing that. But I'll stay out with my wife. Sitting the same side in the booth, sunglasses on. True. Don't talk to her once. No. So sorry, what were you saying? Oh, I had to go from the taping straight to Kansas City. So I went from DC to Kansas City,

and I got there at seven o'clock when the show started. Like my flight got delayed. I had to drive straight to the show, change in the green room and go right on stage. And while I was on stage, I was like, where the fuck up? Like in my head while I was talking, doing stand-up, I was like, what? I don't know what city I'm in. standup. I was like, what?

I don't know what city I'm in. That's, I was like, oh yeah, Kansas City. It's just Oriani. It was very disoriented. Dude, I get, it's showed in the set. Really? He came out. I think so.

I was like, who the, you guys? Yeah. I got, I had a, a weirdest. I didn't have like a panic attack, but I had like the beginnings of a panic attack. I was on my way walking with Cardini to one of the shows in Spokane. I was on my way walking with Cardini to one of the shows and spoke and I was totally sleep deprived.

So I'd been drinking like coffee and I went out and ate a lot of food and stuff. So I'm like, feeling kind of fucking weird. You're nailing it up. I'm well dude. I'm, I had in the well. I was having a fucking like just like feeling kind of weird and then I spilled water. I opened a water bottle and the water got on my hands. I was trying to get the water off my hands and I was like, and they wouldn't stop being wet.

I'm like, what the fuck's going on? And I didn't, I forgot. I had fucking put lotion on my hands. Not self-care. It was like I had obviously used it for self-care. And I was like sitting there and like freaking out my room. I was just like my hands felt dry. Why do you have, oh, it was just in my room.

It's just my hands. I obviously masturbated with it, but I just put it on. You're attributing this particular lotion to the time you were drawing a hand. I, for, it's, it's the truth. This is the truth. I had obviously self-carried, and then it was like, I was like, my hands are dry.

I was like, I was sitting there doing nothing in hotels. Like, if my hands always been this cracked, it was like, something's fucked up with my hands. I put lotion on them. I was just all sleep deprived and bugged out. Put lotion on, forgot I had put that lotion on my head, which I don't like that feeling at all. I'm walking, feels like you're wearing leather gloves,

it feels weird. So I'm like, I get water on my hands and I'm like, why is this fucking what in the lotion was just like melting and like coming off, so I'm like, what is this stuff on my hand? I was like about to freak out. And I was like, am I fucking making this all upright? And I was like, oh, I have lotion on my hands,

Jesus Christ. Yeah, we're retarded guys. Gardini's like talking to me, I'm like, am I fucking making this all upright? And I was like, oh, I have lotion on my hands. Jesus Christ. Yeah. We're retarded guys. Gardini's like talking to me. I'm like, yeah, for sure. Fuck, I might have to fucking call an ambulance. That is a bad feeling though. And you ever jack off with hotel lotion? And then someone's like, you smell good. What is that? Oh, no. I'm like, what the fuck? You body watching. I just started using it. You're just running my arm and it's like, that doesn't smell air. Oh, no. Yeah.

Cause I was double fisting lotion. You're talking about before how they fucking like bolted into the wall. That's the worst. It's always like, come on dude, you know, I'm gonna take this and get up and walk with the boner from the bed to the bathroom It go back you get please. Oh, maybe do that. Oh, they make you do it. They do you gotta get a massive handful

Like a painter like a painter. It's just my doubt. I mean, I just like how God made your fingers so they store extra lotion when you need it. True. Fucking pop that out. That little ribs. You know, right here lotion. The lotion holder.

Yeah. That is truly the only time I really go hard with lotion. Oh, man. I told you. Yeah, you have to. We're discussing place. You know, starting to go our dean. There is no worse feeling in the world than leaving a show And then just quietly sitting back in your hotel room at nighttime

It makes you freak out. I don't know what I've been trying to like all weekend I was like whatever dude. It's all in my head. I just want to have taken to the bottle You had dude. It's totally understandable because you think of the bottle after a show It's very fun. Not myself out because I will leave stone sober from a show and then's very fun. Not on yourself out, because I will leave Stone Sober from a show, and then you sit in a room by yourself, and you're just like, ah, Jesus Christ. Something's wrong.

It's fucked up. It's all the truthfully, it's just the adrenaline of. True, yeah. It's a real weird adrenaline crash, sitting back in like a shitty hotel room in Spokane, Washington, like. Yeah.

I'm gonna try to get this Netflix to work on this hotel TV. God damn, logins not working. I know. The fuck's on my Netflix. I get freaked out because I go, I'm just gonna, it's a blank canvas of time and I go, well what do I do now? And I go, I watch a YouTube video.

No, one thing I can do. True, that's the, that's the fucking, yeah. Or eat. All right. I'm like a baby. I'm like, we're all feet. The new whale out. Yeah.

Then I am the whale. Have I ever said that on it? No. Well, my bastard niece did to me. She's not a hater. There was the thumbnail for the whale was on TV at my sister's house. Of course, my sister told me this. Oh, she just... She didn't even say, you. I wasn't at my sister's house. Of course my sister told me this. Really? Oh, she just, she was, I wasn't there.

That's fucked. My sister called me to go, hey, just so you know, are fucking three year old, my three year old niece was looking at the television queue and the thumbnail for the whale was on, which is just his fat fucking face. Looks a lot like me, especially, though I swear to God, I've been in just this face.

I've lived here three years old and she goes, Uncle Shane. I got the phone call and it was like, hey, just so you know, as I thought you were the whale. I got like, well, thanks. I just said, for real, I was like, all right, good call.

I'll talk to you later. Thanks. I've talked to you in three weeks. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. I told you, I got, my belly looks like Peppa Pig's dad. Because of that, I had to watch that movie. You have to watch it.

I can't watch it, dude. If I see, if I think people think I look like the whale, I'll watch it. You don't look like the fucking whale. I know. But Zaza thought I did, dude. Dude, I don't look like Peppa, Google Peppa Pig's dad, dude. Check out Peppa Pig's dad's belly, dude.

I'm belly doesn't fucking look like that. What the fuck, dude? Dude, she got me Peppa Pig's Dad's belly, dude. I belly doesn't fucking look like that. What the fuck, dude? Dude, she got me, Peppa Pig's Dad, my breath stinks. The other day we're sitting there and she like rub my stomach and she goes, what are those bumps? I'm like, they're pimples.

She's like, why do you have pimples? You gotta get those off. She knows, like, I don't like peppa pigs that. I don't like peppa pigs that. He's saying, he has a shitty go-to deal like me. I work glasses, I keep ruined. No shitty go-to, like me. My word, glass is like the ruined. No, you don't look like that. She said, my belly looks like Peppa Pig's Dad's belly.

That is your family. You got the Peppa Pig family. That's why she thinks you look like that, because the family dynamics perfect. That's true. She said, your belly specifically looks like Peppa Pig's Dad's belly. My belly doesn't look like pepper I that's what I'm trying to explain to you. I'm the whale dude. I am the I watch the movie I said that is me that is exactly how I do it

He just lost the whales though now. You can see it. That's not true. Devastating. Did you google it right away? They said, no, I knew exactly what it was. I've seen the fucking thumbnail. You gotta watch the movie, dude. I refuse one.

You gotta cap the name, have it, dude. We gotta see it. I will never watch it. That's the way that's the elusive whale, dude. You have to watch dude the open. I don't want to spoil it for you the opening scenes you watch the well No, the opening scene is the best opening scene. I think I've ever seen Can I give you just better than saving probably Ryan and glad here 50 times better It's more I would say it's more hair raising than the reenactment of storming D day. Yeah, can I tell you what happens? Dude, the dude is fapping the gateboard right off the bat. That's yeah, and he starts having a heart attack and someone walks in

He's so fat. He can't close his laptop I was on the plane Makes it worse He's gay, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went, he went Oh fuck. Oh my god. Oh tell maybe I didn't even tell I thought I'd tell Brendan this maybe until anyone that's why I stay in peak physical shape So that when I'm not if but when I'm watching gay porn if someone goes in and go Real quick. Yeah practice all day Time Dude he's like time. Dude, he's like, and the kid he comes in, he's like, yeah, can I help you? And the kid just watches to do his half sex in the show. He's like, are you okay? Dude, it's the best beginning of it. I can't turn it. Yeah, just little grabbery picks everything up.

It's the fucking funny thing. Maybe I will have to see that is that is significantly more drawing than Dita. Oh dude, it's crazy. Yeah. I mean, yeah, dude, it's crazy. But that is good that he's gay. It's awesome. It's far because it's a lot easier to find dudes that will get in there and start fucking him if you're that type.

He's having a tough time. Oh, he's can't find a bit, bro. No, there's no bro. So he had a bro. That's all that's bullshit. The whole nature of the movie is he did have a bro and his building is getting black Dude would come in there Maybe

He's thinking so the pizza man now that you say that the pizza man's trying to smash I think is he. The pizza man, now that you say that, the pizza man's trying to smash, I think. Is he really? So pizza man, this leaves two pies. First of all, he does two pies. He leaves two pies on his doors to do two large, two large on the doorstep. And the pizza man's always like, are you okay in there? He might be having him on his dick.

He's always like, he's trying to come in the whole movie. He's like, my name is Bob Obon. And he's like, thank you, my name's Troy. He won't face the pizza man. And one day, I don't want to spoil the movie, but tell me, I don't give a fuck. The pizza man at one point, he opens the door, and the pizza man is like, he like tricks him

as if he left and he's waiting. He looks at him and he's like, oh, I'm just scratched. Pizza cigarettes. Can he walk? Barely. Okay, barely. With a walker.

They can walk with a walker. But then he just gets two pies and goes ham on him. Bro, I've seen the clips of him feeding. The feast, he feasts at one point. He breaks down a feast and it's like, it's like I was literally like, like there's you just jerking off the gateboard and stuff and I was like, what ever you started eating.

I was looking around the airport, like the airplane like, eat. I don't want anyone to see the end. That was you hiding your gateboard. That's fucking weird. That is the worst feeling. It's on an airplane and you start watching. Yeah, if I see people watching movie with sex,

I'm like over their seat kind of like, what the fuck do I need to chill out? I watch, I watch a guy watching like the George Forma movie and then he watched like another like, what's the movie with like all the dudes in a deli in Brooklyn or something? Did you ever see that movie before? It's like, I don't know. It was just a fucking weird movie.

It's just a bunch of, it seemed like he clicked on the black voices section or something. Is it a black movie of dudes in a deli? It was like a Latin movie. But I thought he was checking the racial collections. Yeah, the racial collections need to go We've done enough Yeah, how can he not close his computer, but he can jack off he set it up got into fucking

So he like set it up kind of a little bit he put it up I understand he put it up a little bit high so he can get like a nice vantage of it And then he chilled back on the couch. He laid back far enough. He's fat. If he had time, he could have grabbed his walker, stood himself back up, but he started having a heart attack. No, he's saying, how can he jack off? How can he reach his penis? He hits a literally, he's like, he's under his stomach, just fucking pumping. Probably feels great. That's got to be fucking awesome. That's's gotta be of all the... It's like a cream pie. All the problems, yeah. You could do it.

It is a cream. It's a cream. He's in Vag. He's in Vag. Obviously, there's a lot of cons to wailing out. True. I'm like, this thing is shot. It's true, dude.

Dude, it was pretty tight. But yeah, I guess like the exertion. You're a cream pie like your own thighs. Oh yeah. You can put your belly against your neck. Right. I'm like, tellion of green pilot your own thighs. Oh, yeah, you can put your belly against. Right. Tell me. I think you could. Whoa, I never thought about that.

I could have fucking shot. I never thought about it. Kind of nice. Could be nice. Might as well have to criss in this house with a thigh. Cream. That was an exposed asshole cream. My skin walked it on.

What do you do? Should have stimulated cream. blind with this stomach. And my thighs. That'd be nice. Yeah, I guess it was just a pure desire to procreate. He just, when, you know, he probably had, if I had guessed he'd probably had like a month long no fab stored up in him. And you know, they say gay stronger than fat.

So his gay impulses are stronger than his fab. They say gay strong. Yeah, the movies, movies movies on airplane really get you I'll watch a movie on airplane day That was one of the best movies ever yeah, he tells someone about it. They're like that sucked I could have done anything else what everyone was ripping on Frazier for the whale I thought he was loved for that anyway. I was in the cry or something Just going around crying, everyone. He had as a shut off.

Did everybody hate me since the mummy? And now I'm a fact gay guy and everyone looks me gay. Yeah, I saw, whenever I see someone else's screen watching a movie, I watch theirs. Oh, yeah. Which is a common thing. Dude, I judged a guy. He was a grown man watching the Super Mario Brothers movie. And watched theirs. Oh, yeah, which is a common thing. I didn't. Dude, I judged a guy. He was a grown man watching the Super Mario Brothers movie and I was going, I've seen so many of those fucking weird dudes. Dude, there's, there's everybody. Businessmen. They abound, dude. They're crazy people.

Yeah, man, I watched them. I kind of fucking losers. Why did I do it instantly? I just watched the whole movie over. Yeah, you just watched it on it. See, that's the one thing I like, wait, they live in this world and I just was 45 minutes of like just watching it. I watch silently. I watch the Galaxy 3 on another guy's screen and then I got here and as soon as I got here I put it on just cried. Yeah, I did cry. I cried. I got into the Galaxy 3 dude. That'll get you. Holy fuck. Now they'll get you. It's the saddest one yet. Yeah, I didn't do it. No, it's not sad is you like going to the Galaxy at all. Yeah, we've watched them all.

They're wonderful. I don't like comic book movies at all. They're the best. That one's the best. Yeah, just cause that's a good soundtrack. Yeah, yeah. Cause that's really all it takes for me to like it. Chris Pratt's hot ass.

Chris Pratt's fucking cool and funny and hot. He's not over the top like Ryan Reynolds. He does the comedy exactly the true way. Reynolds is too much. Dude, Deadpool is just too much. He's too much in top like Ryan Reynolds. He does the comedy exactly the true way Reynolds is too much dude Deadpool is He's just hilarious in that the way but he's today's the big guy so funny and so believable Deadpool I'm gonna remake Deadpool, but dead serious no jokes. That'd be fucking good. No messing around It'd be so fucking sad. Yeah Reynolds is just it's too much attitude overload. He's got major I walked out of the theater. I went, this is too much attitude,

and I just walked out. Soakasm is definitely his first line. Right. Right. What a con- character that is. That's it. Kill that character. Well, you watched it.

We moved to, yeah, I got to go, watch cars in the galaxy cry. Like a fucking loser. Not a big deal. No, that'll happen. Got Kind of my room cracked one off. You got the thigh pie? What's that cry? Then I was like, all right, I'm going to roll on all and jizz on my own leg.

Oh, I'm living by myself. This is very scary. Oh, yeah. A big house by yourself is extremely scary. Yeah, dude, It's fucking spooky I live by myself for the first time and filled out here when I was like 23 and I was scared the whole time I've been scared every I've only been here to do it. It's very peaceful though For sure, but it is spooky. Oh, yeah, especially this fucking window here I just was laying there watching the fight and fills last night. Okay. They will time I was like, yes

Up one nothing. Yes. But the TV reflects on the window, so it always looks like something's moving out there. Yeah. For real, every 10 minutes, I'm like, ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's really not peaceful at all.

It's scared. I'm just scared to loop by myself. No, I get disoriented in new houses, or you get a house I've never been in before. And I actually prefer this is a newer house, my house is newer as well. I don't like the old houses as I started. If I'm like, by myself in the kitchen at night time,

my dude someone definitely got killed in here. This is fucked up, this is haunted dude. I get real spooked out. But if it's a new house, I go, it's probably the ghost, I'm like ghost chance is super low. So I do take solace in that. I was afraid it goes in Iowa.

I had a show in Iowa this week. I had a fucked up dream. I don't know how this happened, but I woke up to, I woke up at like 4 a.m. and looked at my phone. And as soon as I looked, because I wanna see what time it was, and then I read a text,

and I must have still been like half asleep. But I was like, I just dreamt this text. This is the text I was just dreaming about. Then I got really scared. Oh no. I was like, this is the scariest thing that's ever happened. Wait, so were you awake or not? I was, I must have been like half awake.

I don't know, but somehow, to you pressage to text. Somehow I woke up to check what time it was when I woke up. Yeah. And I looked at the first text I got. I was like, that's the text I was just dreaming about. Yeah, obviously that's not what happened,

but that's what I was convinced. It could have been. Maybe. Dude, I had a, I am. I was just, I was wide awake, I was so scared. And then I was like walking around my hotel and I was like, this is an old hotel. You bet, it could be some ghost.

I'm afraid of ghosts. Like, four in the morning. It was fucking so embarrassing. I had a weird dream. My friend was like telling me something kind of intense that happened in his life. And I instantly went like, well, I had a dream about this a week ago.

And I was like, maybe my brain just made that up. And it was pretty clear. I was like, that was really weird. Not this specific thing, but it was like a situation he was in where I was like, dude, I just had a fucking dream about this. I just write that stuff off. I always just go like, no, I didn't.

I just go, I don't know what the fuck that's. But if I had realized that before the morning, I would've stayed, I had an all nighter. I woke up before and I was just like more just, I wasn't like spooked, I was more disturbed. I was just like agitated and just like, the fuck's going on. I was in like a mid of the night,

like kind of personal spin out. They all, like usually I'll be like, fuck dude, I gotta set up a child, I'll sell in the yesterday. I gotta set up a child gate. They're all matching my kids, falling down the steps for like kind of personal spinout. Like usually I'll be like, fuck dude, I gotta set up a child, I'll sell in the yesterday, I gotta set up a child gate. Then I'll imagine my kids falling down the steps for like a half an hour and be like, I'm like, all right, what if someone tried to take my kids? I was like, I'd have to like find out,

I'll just go through it and get myself to like, 185 hard beat. And then dude, towards the end of this thing, I'm laying there like half falling asleep and I was like, what if Brittany like was like, hooking up with a chick and like we were going to have a threesome and then she kicked me out of the room and I was like, dude, I'd be so fucking pissed at her. Like I ran that, I just ran that. It's very, it's like 30 minutes.

Like, yo, for real, like I wouldn't talk to her actually. And it was, I was so mad. And then I finally passed out and I'm sitting there talking to the next morning. I started cracking up as I remembered it. Yeah. And I was like, dude, I was for real pissed at you last night. Because I imagined you setting up a three. Something kicking me out of the room.

And I was just like, I was so mad. It's good you told her though. I told her. It's good to nip that in the butt. True. Just in case. Or be like crazy thought last night. The fucking nanny came up.

What the fuck was he doing, man? Anyway, I'll tell you about that. Yeah, it was weird. I like sat there and I couldn't stop doing it. If I get locked in on like a negative fantasy like that, I'll just fucking like, it's like 90 iterations until finally I'm like, why am I doing this dude? I gotta get a bet. Yeah, all day. It's it. All day. That's all day. All fucking dead. And things are going well. And I'm still fucking disaster. It's a disaster all day.

What's that big volcano if it explodes in Yellowstone? Guardian was trying to pill me on a volcano. He was trying to volcano pill. They say like there's one in the other. I mean, it's a super volcano in Yellowstone. Yeah, don't. I forget what the fuck. Yeah, he said he goes, it would fuck air.

I just don't believe it. I'm like no way If you try to say like what's right? Maybe that fucking type of volcano. I think I think it's I think it's a super volcano But there's like a yellow stone called her called her. Yeah, called her a called her. Yeah, it's Yeah, what I was saying damn Yeah, dude. He was trying to say he's like it's game over for all of America. I was like there's no way one volcano Yeah, the Vesuvius was a town, wasn't it? Vesuvius? Yeah, I thought volcano is can all exactly destroy one Italian city. I think Vesuvius I think it's only destroy one is on to destroy one

Was it Vesuvius pump? I think so. Um I Was called a mountain. They get the fucking Asians get a lot of volcanoes. Did they really? Yeah. I could tow. I could tow, it was a big one. Ice on gets a lot of them. Did they really, so is it more of the ash?

I mean obviously the lava is gonna burn you up, melt you up. But it's like, I was like, I'm like dude, there's just not that much lava for the whole continent. Oh, it's not the lava. It's not like the ash hit by the lava. Yeah, cuz I can out, I feel like, dude, there's just not that much lava for the whole country. Oh, it's not the lava. It's not like the lava. It hit by the lava. Yeah, because I can out. I feel like I can outrun a lot of it.

It's a pyro plastic, what's it called? The pyro plastic pyro is the ash. Somebody's listening to this, like, that's how you say you fucking idiot. No, it's like a fucking extremely hot ash cloud. Oh, yeah. Oh, that sucks. It goes very fast.

It's like an avalanche of hot gas. Oh, you're one. Oh, so you just have to get onto the blankets, dude. I don't know if you have to touch up. Damn, so nature just does touch up in the whole city. Pirate of, fuck me. Pirate plasticine. It's not pirate plastic.

So that's what gets people. It's a hot. Pyroclastic flow. Pyroclastic flow. Pyroclastic flow. But I thought it blocks out the sun. That was the... Oh, after part of DS. The reason that would be so,

so stone wood, so much ash would block out the sun and cause like a fucking ice age. So it's lava, fart, and then they block out the sun. That's kind of nasty, that's shitty. Yeah, that's a shitty way to die. Yeah, that's all exciting thing about that. I thought it was just like dudes are chillin' and like a fucking tide of hot red liquid

and they're like, no! Yeah, slow moving lava. Let me momma know! Yeah, I know. No! I thought they were gonna turn into Fireball Mario. Yeah. If I touch a fire, I don't know.

Yeah, I never even thought about the effects of it blocking out, plotting the sun out. Although ice age, I mean, let's do it. We can make the most of that. Oh, ice age down here in Austin, we love an ice age, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, we're from Texas now. True, true. Michael told me you can't be a Texan unless you're born here.

He said, you can live your whole life. You can be born right over, come over. And he's like, there's not my role. He's like, I don't care. Tell that to Sam Houston. He's from Pennsylvania. He go, who's Sam Houston? The guy from, he found Houston? Yeah, he was the first president.

President, yeah. Where's he from? I bet that fuckers. He'd better be from Texas. Like Tennessee. I mean, maybe you could found a city. Yeah, he might be, have to be honorary. He was saying that's the rules down here.

He's like, I didn't make a lot of Tennessee. Where was he born? I was born Virginia. Virginia way. You tell me Sam Houston's not Texan? Oh, it's the Guinness here. I didn't go out of Tennessee. Where was he born? I was born in Virginia. Virginia way. You tell me Sam Houston's not Texan? It's the game is not my rules. This is what they say in Texan. He says that to him.

True. Say now I'm more like Sam Houston. True. I was born out of East came here to build a new republic. You're lucky I'm here. That's true. Good point. That's a fair point, dude.

Yeah, I hate yanks, dude. I do hate yanks. I honestly, I wanted to fly up when I was here. I was here. I'm not rooting, dude. I hate yanks. I honestly, I wanted to fly up when I was here. I was here. I'm not really dude. I'm afraid it goes. Dude, I'm telling you, I'm like, I'm trying to think of that. I'm like a black guy with nature down here.

I had to walk through tall grass and I'm like, I don't know what the fuck's where, dude. I'm so afraid of snakes. I was all hell knowing, dude. I was all hell knowing. I had to walk through grass to cut up a hill and I was just fucking, I'm so afraid of snakes. I was all hell-known, dude. I was all hell-known. I had to walk through grass to cut up a hill and I was just fucking, I was so scared of the scorpion, too. Yeah, dude. It's the lime ticks you gotta worry about.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it depends on me. We're used to that. Yeah, we've evaded those for a whole lives. But yeah, dude, the snakes, I'm scared of getting bit by a snake, man.

Tall grass. I got trails by my way. There's some trails over here on my way dude, I walk them. I've been, I've been, you know, I've been exploring my little trails and I'm like, dude, I'm gonna get bit by fucking snake out here. Spider, what was this spider? I'm all over there, I'm all over spider.

How many poison spider, spiders in here? Around recluses, I'm gonna get one of those. We got those. We got those? Yeah, shit. Just whenever you take out like an old blanket or towel, give it a fucking. Oh yeah, true. Check.

That's where those boys are chilling. Good call. You can get the bribonic plague from armadillos too. Yeah, apparently they carry some like fucked up disease. They used to it Josh. You know, I'm telling you, it's like the bribonicic play they carry some fucked up like leprosy or some Armadillos and they'll give you the fucking plague. I don't know. I don't like that. That's something man They got some sort of nasty shit on them because they do look cute as hell Acuna than the blazes dude. I would love to go near them. They are cute and lazy. What is it? Handsome disease? That is

Bubonically is, well, bribonically, bribonically. Yes. Come on there. That's where all your and your brothers look like girls in the fucking. That's where you trick all the local fifth graders into saying, the middle ones hot. I like the middle one.

I like the middle one. And then they go, Shane, that's a boy. And I go, I knew it was kidding with you guys. I didn't get any. I didn't think the middle brother the Hanson's was so fucking I didn't shoot between my thighs thinking about the middle brother for my thighs I think about the hands of brothers The other one was ugly as a dog though. They're the oldest the oldest. Yeah causes lesions and nerve damage

So I like leoporcy. Oh, it's like leoporcy That's right. Remember as one of those old ass fucking diseases. That'd be nice though. Then you could be Baldwin from King of Heaven. You can get a cool mask. Oh yeah, true. Yeah, someone comes next to me and be like, I touched an armoured dealer. I touched an armoured dealer and I'm

gonna take the pants. I don't see Hanson's oldest brother. I feel like as a young gay man, I thought the middle brother was hot. The middle brother was fucking hot, dude. The middle brother had long, beautiful hair. Yeah, it was great. It was perfectly straight. Yeah, the oldest one was fucking out dude. No brother had long beautiful hair. Yeah, it was great It was perfectly straight. Yeah, the oldest one's fucking beat there to that be nice to have like a kingdom of heaven Just fucking face mask and it's be like I was a curious boy wants to touch the normal dealer

Now I have lesions in there Let me see you looking at the boy. I was taking a look Let me see that just show me older pictures now. I was taking a look. Let me see. They're just showing me older pictures. Now I don't like them. What's he looking like now? Oh, maybe the younger one was a little fucking morsel. Well, he was a legal back then.

Well, not for us. We were a legal boy. We were young boys. That was Lord of the Flies. We were illegal. Why did I not? Why wasn't I more attracted to that youngest handsome brother? I don't know.

My taste of change. Maybe I wanted a mature older middle brother. In my own middle one clearly, dude. No, no dudes had long straight hair like that. You were right. That was your, that was just your animal consciousness, seeing what you thought was a female. Ah, yeah, he's, he's a little fucking... He was totally a family, dude. He was totally a family, dude. He was totally a family. You know what I've read?

It also girls my age, oh my god, look how fucking hot he is in that picture. Yeah, dude, you weren't doing nothing wrong, bro. You weren't doing nothing wrong. Older brother is fucking 38. Yeah, Older brother looks like a big dick weirdo, dude. He does look like a big dick weirdo. Guaranteed Older brother of Hanson has a fucking donger. It looks like a fucking spaniel in this.

Look at him. Like a spaniel of some stuff. Yeah, true. That was tough sledding for the oldest Hanson. I wonder if he was he like the best at music? Didn't he just like quietly play guitar? The middle brother got all a shine. The youngest brother was just there.

I guess I think the youngest brother was the singer. got all a shine. The youngest brother was just there, I guess. I think the youngest brother was the singer. Oh, the drummer. The youngest brother was the drummer. That's why like the middle one, I've always been a flamboyant kind of guy. True, yeah, I'm always crazy for drummers, dude. You know the drummers, you know what I'm talking about? That would be a real confusing moment for guys that were like

in their 20s when that music video came out. Why? I bet at least a few of them were like, damn. Oh, dude. That fucking, the middle one's hot. Yeah, I think that happened. I like remember that happening. People being like,

People being like, Because girls are age, didn't have tits. No. They looked like that. Yeah, that was hot. Yeah, true. You know what I mean? That was hot.

Yeah, that was a good look when we were in fifth grade. Yeah, I remember. Yeah, dude, you've been a party, you'd be like a party like six grade making out and just like touch a girl's hard nipples Like boy puberty puffy That'd be like sweet. I just touched the ladies puffy scared nipples in a basement It's kind of fucked up fucking hot. I hot. I was like, bring the jug. I would be like, get the fuck off me. Where are the jugs, dude?

Yeah. I was a jug hunter back then. I was, I was so ready to jug. Everybody was jug hunter. True. When the one girl got tits, it was game on. It was, dude. The jug hunters came out of the woodware.

I mean, the rest of them were like Patrick Swayze from Coast. All the girls who didn't have tits were just fucking, ooh, they turned invisible, dude. I all like to see what's Jugs back then. They had got our hands while we were loathing. Oh man. Like Swazie on the clay pot. True.

For the smoothest way to enjoy cannabis, you gotta grab a freezable piece from Freezepipe. If you're tired of inhaling harsh smoke, coughing attacks, and taking tiny little baby rips, it's time to make the switch. Do you take little tiny baby rips, Josh? Do you smoke weed? Nice. That's so cool. Every freez pipe comes with equipped, every fuck me. Every freez pipe comes equipped with a freezable glycerin chamber that cools smoke by over 300 degrees. Did you even know smoke was 300 fucking degrees and it's just going in here long? That seems...

correct. Just pop the glycerin chamber in the freezer for an hour. As smoke passes through it, instantly gets chilled for an ice cold puff without the afterburner coughing. See, if you're a pot smoker, this is... you've got to be interested in this. Personal endorsement. I don't smoke weed, but when I used to, puff without the afterburner coughing. See, if you're a pot smoker, this is, you've got to be interested in this. Personal endorsement, I don't smoke weed, but when I used to, that is something I would have trouble with is the 400 degrees of gas going into my lungs. Check out the newest pieces, the mini-bong,

the tornado-bong, and their glycerin blunt tip to cool down your joints, blunts, and vapes. So sick. No matter how you like to smoke, freeze pipe will make it ice cold. Shoppipes, bubblers, bongs, dab rings, and more at thefreezepipe.com, and use code drenched for 10% off your entire order.

That's thefreezepipe.com and code drenched for 10% off. Order today and enjoy free shipping and everyday great prices. That's something you should consider if you smoke pot. Hey guys, do you ever feel like you know what's good for you but can't make yourself actually do it? No. You want a good night's sleep but can't quite get your racing, can't quite, can't quiet

your racing thoughts. You want to leave that soul sucking job but don't have the confidence to take a risk. What the fuck? Talking with a therapist through BetterHub can help you figure out what's holding you back so you can finally move forward. Therapy has been incredibly useful for so many people in our lives. We've gotten to watch our friends change for the better. It's an awesome tool that can help you make the rough patches of life seem a little more smooth.

Wouldn't that be nice? You don't believe in therapy? Alright, thanks. Josh. No, that's okay. I don't give a fuck, but you should use better help if you feel that way. You should talk to someone on a Zoom call. Better help is totally online.

It's convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. So you can do therapy by video call over the phone or even by message, whatever works for you. That's good. Texting someone. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and get started on your journey.

Make your brain your friend with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash MSSP today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help help.com slash MSSP. Can you imagine if you had a therapist? How nice that would be. Anyway, goodbye. Just because summer is coming to an end doesn't mean you have to stop showing off that beach bod. True classics fall essentials will keep you warm while still highlighting your assets. Their t-shirts are made with the tighter fit in the arms and shoulders and

a looser fit in the gut for a streamlined look. Just for the listener, this is me and Josh have never met each other. He's in my living room watching me read it ad about the fucking t-shirts. Personal endorsement, I love the gear, dude. Do you ever have a true classic t-josh? Alright, that's alright. Give them a shot, dude. They actually are fucking nice. For those formal days, true classic is launched, five different styles of button-up shirts that will look great and feel amazing. No matter the occasion. You're gonna feel great at your fucking deadspin rule. So if you're ready to make the easiest summer upgrade, shop now at TrueClassicTeas.com and save 25% off with the code Drenched25,

Josh, are you listening? That's true, that's code Drenched25 at TrueClassicTeas.com for 25% off, this fall, step into a world of style and comfort with true classic. Alright? That's something you should consider Josh. Let's get back to the show. Yeah, I got fucked up last night. I was reading a book. I just started it and they were... The guy was talking about how... I think 800... He claims 800,000 years ago. Dude started like discovering fire. And he was like, that was the first time... I thought we've come dude

I got a half fire we have fucking Plasma whatever that is just colors well, he was saying the The reason all the first religions a lot of them were fire worshipers I think this or a shames were fire worshipers because he was like that was the first time we got the chill in our long-wretched miserable lives Because that was like first time that was the first thing you could sit by and lives. Cause that was like first time, that was like the first thing you could sit by and like animals are kind of like what the fuck is that stuff? Oh, man.

So dudes were just in a blind panic forever. It was, it was the first interruption, just like a constant cascade of just like horrible death and dying. Dude, like you, you'd go to sleep. A lot of people just get munched in their sleep, which makes sense. Why be so scared of fucking like the dark. Yeah, that's why I'm afraid of reflections off mirror. Your brain's designed to get munched.

That's probably why you dream, because you're probably like your brains are gone, you're probably going to get munched so like, you're some cool shit. Here's you jumping really high fucking idiot. I started bugging out because they were like, that's the first time dude's got to go, and relax and that's where like just people started just making up stuff and thinking. They started chilling and like drawing buffaloes on the wall and be like, yeah, do that.

And I was, I was in my bed, I got unsettled. I was just like, well dude, think about the haters those guys had. First guys to draw buffalo, some other guy, ooh. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. One girl looks at it and is like, oh, yeah. True. Mm.

She's her nipple stick out. It's like, yeah. True, that must have sucked. Mm. Yeah. Back then, if a dude did something really sweet, it's not being gross, it probably actually happened. Your babe would probably, you'd hear like,

boom, you look at her and you're like, you bitch. She would drip. She would probably, I'm saying, if you're all naked in caves, if you're with your babe and a dude drooling, like women's pussy's get so wet, that they're dripping. It was really fun.

I'm saying back then, they probably did. Back then, they were probably though, what is, dude? They were scared, but dude, why do you guys take girls while scary movies? Life was a scary movie. Chicks were horny or they never. And dude, sat her down from the fire, drew a buffalo. It was probably at least one,

looks like, just one drip. Even if you didn't hear it, you'd be like, you could probably tell back then. Come on, sit on my lap, babe. She's sitting in the lap, and you're like, get out there. You're a slide right off the side. She's certainly not gonna ask you to serve me

a cheeseburger, babe, got it? I said, no cheese, honey. I want to hear you, Amber. You probably smell it before you hear it. You probably smell those games and shitballs. God, I stonked, dude. God, that must have been crazy. I will say, imagine you're chilling, you go,

I'm supposed to hear out. You could smell post imagine you're chilling, you go, something pussy around, you could smell pussy. Is that you, Ja? That one? That one? Smelling pussy would have been nice though. Yeah. Just being like, I know there's some pussy around. I don't know, man.

You smell pussy lately? Yeah, I just sucked. Yeah, but it was like, you were smelling like saber tooth tiger shade. It was probably better than some of the other stuff. I mean, it was all pretty terrible But it was probably like saber tooth tiger shit dead decomposing bodies a bog and then you'd be like I wonder if any of the bros were smart enough to kill themselves back then You know, I don't think they had the function the brain function

I think yeah, they were just because they were running on just kind of like self-preservation I'd all cost like I wonder if one dude was smart enough to just be like What the fuck is this There's a cliff I wasn't until the fire they probably sat by the fire and I'm like this fucking sucks This is crazy because they finally chilled and they went And that that was like the author's point of like, there is the fighter flight is still. Isn't this so, Astrino, how do you say that? Zora, Zora and Astrino.

It's still gone. Zora's there, there are like, probably like, there's like 12,000 guys, yeah. Hold it tight. Yeah, but they don't take in new members, so it's gonna slowly die out. And they were, I think they part of it's worshiping fire. It's one of the oldest religions in the world.

I think it's the oldest right now. I think, yeah, it could be the. It's one of the oldest religions in the world. I think it's the oldest right now. I think so. Yeah, it could be the trail, it could be the oldest living. Before that, it was like fertility cults. Just like cutting off lady's skin and wearing it. It was like a church which, you could see myself getting into it. You go in front of a bunch of kindergartners

and you're like, what, there's nothing wrong with this. I'm a lady. Listen up, little kids. We found the hottest chicken in the village and we cut her skin off and we're wearing it so that we get a lot of beans this year. Stop laughing, this is fucking funny. There's nothing funny about this. We picked the hottest lady and murdered her.

Now I'm wearing her hot skin. That must have been fucking crazy. That must have been genuinely fucked up, dude, for explorers and shit to stumble across an island and see that and be like What the fuck yeah, that was a quick like I Load the cannons These guys are done. They had a good run Nothing going on here because everyone had different it was like everyone was freaking out

Ever then everyone got the chill at the fire. Yeah, like this is what's up And then everyone had to like go and share that around the world is like no, it's not Now if we're talking indigenous people my favorite thing right now is there's a thing on Instagram. I'm sure it's on TikTok I don't have a TikTok, but These Native American people post videos of them doing like a rain dance Mm-hmm or like whatever their tribal dance was being like my my land has been stolen no justice no p Like they try to they co-opt the black civil rights movement for sure. But then every comment is just like, take the L dude, shut the fuck up.

Every comment is like, you got shit of one scoreboard. It's dude, it's the most amazing. It's so fucking funny. It's crazy comments. Instagram. I had no idea. My friend told me, because I was just I'd never even got into the comments. I had no idea. It told me because I was just I never even got into the comments. I had no idea I'm just looking at funny reels. I've been I have never seen it. It's great. Somebody's up there like you guys took our land That's the first comment like shut up Fought harder bitch

Pretty great scoreboards my favorite Pretty great. Scoreboard's my favorite. Scoreboard's crazy. What do you think about who's doing it? It's so funny. It took a 12 year old. Definitely a 12 year old. I'm like a his burner account.

Just like, fuck you, Native American bitch. It is the weirdest situation because it's like it gets no air time at all. What? The Native American stuff. It's like it gets zero airplay. In terms of the popular press. Yeah. Uh, I don't know.

Although, yeah, it might be because of the res. People can't really, you can't be a reporter and pop up on the res and be like, what a, yeah. You know what I mean, good for them. Yeah. But it gets zero, I mean, you know, they've been mixing it. It's like if you're into anti-racism and all that CRT stuff, it's like a caviar you can bust down and be like, what about this?

Yeah. We're talking about some terrible stuff. Remember this? You weren't talking about this. I think about this. I think about the dirt and the ground and how, and it's like, dude, no, you fucking don't shut up. There's no way you're sitting there being like, you're literally sitting in a building

and being like, I just wanna acknowledge the fact that it wants to, and it's like, for sure, how long are you gonna think about this? I don't even acknowledge the people who used to live in this house. What are we talking about? That's my thing. I know that in the family's picture in my bathroom.

That's nice, that's pretty nice. I like that, I'm keeping that. Is that the family that is stuck? It's definitely the family. Damn. That's awesome. Yeah, pretty crazy. I thought that was a stock that family? Is that a stock? It's definitely the family. Damn. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah, pretty crazy.

I thought that was a stock that came with the frame, but now you mentioned it. So yeah, that's not. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, see a white family at the beach matching Yeah, fucking like silk outfits or whatever. Yeah, that's what's a Linnin' Linnin' yeah white people love linen white linen at the beach photos. Yeah, true. I hate them. It's tough. It's embarrassing. It is tough stuff. But it isn't interesting photo because the dad's in the middle and then all of his People are around him and it's like, damn, everybody came, it centered on his dick. Oh, really? It's like, wow, everything came out of that fucking ball bag.

You're kidding, yes, yeah. That weird guy's ball bag that's jumping at the beach. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, that is not stupid. Jumping at the beach is extremely disrespectful. That's where I actually, sure.

So, you say, hey guys, just so, just so you guys know. And I say, you fucking whites jumping on the beach. It's like, have a little act like you've been there before. Let's hand the ball to the ref on this one. We don't need to dance. Speaking of hand in the ball to the ref dude, the car out of Buffalo has been cursed. I thought I'm an adult.

They've been totally cursed. Speaking of hand in the ball to the ref. They have been cursed man. Should have handed the ball to the ref, dude. They didn't do that. No, they're still fucking showboat. Yeah, they didn't, they losing like triple OT or double. They won, they lost in regulation, just Stanford.

I saw that. Stanford would, they blew like a 28 point lead. The whiteest team. The whiteest team possible came back, dude. That is white perseverance down 28. No one's yelling at the coaches, no one's throwing their helmets. They're just like, we still have a job to do.

We have to finish this game. You go up seven, nothing on a black team. They're the explode. But don't let them go up seven, nothing. You're in trouble. I know too. Oh fuck. I saw too. Oh fuck. I saw that they were down by like, there was like 28 to nothing.

Yeah, they were fucking killing them. That's crazy. And those boys from Palo Alto. Well, the game, I was checking the QB stats and like, the... Which one? Both of this QBs put on like ridiculous games, like 5 touchdowns. Of course, really, really fucking good. Yeah, it was like fucking past for 475 yards, 5 touchdowns.

It was in both of the, it was insane. Again, I want to take it back to this. It's not Colorado's fault, dude. It's the fucking ESPN. I know. I fucking hate ESPN. They just do. They keep doing this where they're like,

let's check in on Colorado. Wow, this is so powerful. White coaches hate this. It was like, why are you guys fucking lay off, dude? It's also like, all right in on Colorado. Wow, this is so powerful white coaches hate this You guys fucking lay off dude. I'm like all right enough Colorado. Let's check out the WMBA again I'll turn it off. Yes, stop dude. It's half of if you watch sports center 50% is WMBA if you know that season ever end. I don't know when it starts or ends I don't think he's real. Oh, I don't think he played it is real I don't think he's real. I don't think he played.

I don't think he did. He's real. I think he's AI. He's drawing his eyes. No one has watched a, I've never seen it. That would be funny if it was just like a high school girls league and they're CGIing like kicks to a higher level. It's awesome.

The crowd is filled a lot now. They always started to get some bodies in those seats. No, no. But it's all the Las Vegas aces dude. That's the team of the century. Is it really? Forget the Golden State Warriors, forget the Patriots. It's the aces.

You know my position on this. I think it's ridiculous that they even segregate the leagues based on sex. I think the women's, I don't see any reason why they shouldn't be able to play in the M. It's ridiculous. It's police letting them do it once, dude. Please let them do it once. I just want to see it. It'd be so fun. I just want to say it, dude. But you'd have to give incentive for the male team to run the score up.

You have to be like, yo, if you guys can score 300 this game. True. You get a bonus. Yeah, they're yours. If you, if you, if you get, if you can hold them under 10 and you can score 300, you get a million dollars. God damn. I've been so diabolical.

I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm If you get, if you can hold them under 10 and you can score 300, you get a million dollars. God damn. He's so diabolical.

His fly has been here. Is it a fly? You see him fly? What the fuck dude? How did he swallow? He's the slowest shitty as fly. I hit him yesterday. I hit him yesterday and I was like, he must be dead.

He just landed. He's fritz landed. He's retarded. That's it. Flicked it. We get a microscope. We have a tiny helmet on. I heard you flick it. I heard your fingernails smack its fly body. If that gets off the slap, he's going to be up to the guys never stop. If he gets up from that, he stays. I'm not hit. True. True. God, if you got a burgeon, you keep like, I'm going to get you in there. That's for my pet fly. Yeah, the WNB ESPN needs to cut it out. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I ran into this problem.

I was trying to watch the highlights of my beautiful Notre Dame fighting Irish after their win against the US. A big one, dude. Big win against USC. I got it to watch the highlights of my beautiful Notre Dame fighting Irish after their win against the US. Oh, a big one, dude. Big win against USC. Got it back to the hotel. I was like, all I want to watch is highlight to the game. Yeah. That's a nice thing. Nothing but WMBA.

It's like, dude, it's college football Saturday. Stop showing me the fucking Las Vegas aces, dude. I want to see what it was going on. And another one from the elbow. That's the number fifth player. Yeah. And another seven foot jump shot. The defender fell down display, not even a japs her feet left the ground on that jump shot. Did you see that?

Dude, I've I've seen college girls. I've like I was watching a one of my cousins plays college girls, but basketball and she drain like 90 in a row in the driveway. And I was like, yeah, they're fucking nasty. Yeah, they're extremely good. But all that being said, yeah. But when there's a whole different league that dudes can dunk from the foul line. Yeah, yeah. No, I know.

It should be on, it should go like in honorary, it would be totally acceptable to be like top 10 plays and be like, and then honorary play. Here we go. Top 10. Check it out. Yeah, separate that. Yeah, that's exactly what women's top 10. Yeah.

Rather than being like even a fucking T's top 10 would be nice to if we're going to really go true. Yeah, if we're going to really get into it. Swimming high. Yes, TN, dude. Yeah, that'd be sick. That'd be so fucking to join the team, just scorching those bitches. That would be funny to like just take it so far and like there's like the top 10 plays

and like number three is just two guys having sex and you're like, fuck. What is this? Sorry, you don't like that conservative. Number three, look at the way you fucking jammed it in this guy's ass. It's a two-kicking minute. Whoa, slam a jammer. Oh man. Yeah, that shit's annoying, man. They're doing it on purpose.

They're doing it for ratings and it's like, dude, there needs to be a protest. It can't be for ratings. Hmm? That's the thing, it can't be for ratings. No one watches that. I guess you're right. If you like sports, you don't like that.

What are they trying to attack? Like, they try to attract the women. Yeah. Like, what ladies are sitting down watching and fucking ESPN? You're right. It's just to bother me. Yeah, you're the only dude watching ESPN

in a fucking hotel room at 2 a.m. Just, yeah, you're absolutely right. Cause if you think about that, yeah, sports is mostly, it guys guys and it's also like Yeah, that market of dudes who are like watching sports In liking sports women like sports some of them for sure. Yeah, there is he's up. What he's back dudes guys a foot There's my call stop Yeah, that makes sense, but yeah, it is kind of a strange

Yeah, women like going to sports. It's just probably up or level management pressure and then be like, yeah, we do this too. Because otherwise, I don't know. The fear is that they're going to get written up and fucking mother Jones. There's probably ESPN like CEOs that are just like, they're going to get me.

Mother Jones, it's going to get me. They used to not show hockey, which really bothered me. Really? Yeah. Why? I think ESPN must have some, they must have signed a deal with NHL. Okay. Now they're showing hockey.

Why weren't they showing? You can tell the announcers, the people that are doing the highlights have, they've never watched hockey ever. So they're just like, look at this sick, deep, whoa. Anyway, back to the links. Back to the fucking women's basketball. She got a foul on that shot and she made it. That's pretty hard to do, folks. They caught away from the foul shot, fucking nail in the rim. They're like, yeah, cut that. Dude, I had to go, I had to do press. I had to go to Spokane, like hyper local television show.

And you'd be pleased to know that I didn't know where to look. So I'm looking, I thought I was looking at the camera, but the whole time I'm like, I was looking up at the corner of the room. So I'm like talking to this lady and I'm like, yeah, so you guys, you come catch me yet. It was real, you guys, you come see me yet. What are my shows like? Oh are my shows like oh, I don't know I talk about all kinds of This is those fucking questions. It was crazy, dude, and I I pretty set me the thing

I was like I can't watch this it was just me. I'm leaning. I would lean on the desk I'm I'll find it. I'll send it to you. I would lean on the desk and then I'd pop up and be like Ladies like are you excited to be here? And I'm like, no, not really. I'm like, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I was just trying to be honest. I wasn't trying to be a jerk. And I was just like, you gotta really mentally go into those,

like, I'm gonna fuck around. Yeah, that's what I always try to do. And then I get there and I'm like, I don't know, I'd say my, I talk about a little bit of politics. I'm in my head, I was gonna be, yeah, I'm talked about my family just everyday stuff.

Were you always a class clown? Yeah. What? What? What? It's fucking, those are the most unbearable things. Yeah, if we're going in and I'm walking in, I'm like, dude, I'm gonna expose that prophecy

and the fucking, and I walk in the same thing. I'm like, yeah, you know, I mean, I talk about a lot of stuff. Some of it's suddenly inappropriate that I'm sitting expose that prophecy and the fucking, and I walk it as the same thing. I'm like, yeah, you know, I mean, I talk about a lot of stuff. Some of it's suddenly inappropriate and I'm sitting here with you, but it's whatever, it's fun. We all need to laugh a little more. And, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Sorry, and I just let it go. I was like, yep, there's no way I'm gonna correct you. That's even more embarrassing.

Yeah, I'm almost positive. They hit me with Matt McCuster out of the red, but I'm like, that's me. McCusker is so hard for people. Cusker is, I can see everyone fucks it up, because you wanna go to Cusker. McCusky. McCusky, McCusker.

McCusker all the time. It's fair. I have like the only like Irish Russian sounding names like Mick Cusker. It's very harsh. Yeah. A lot of them are like easier to say. Yeah. I have some bullshit only like Irish Russian sounding names like mika cusker. It's very harsh. Yeah a lot of them are like Easier to say. Yeah, I have some bullshit. I like it. Cuskers a good name. That's such a nice name I think it was really Mac OAS care or something from skylight bullshit. Some fucking nonsense some jibberish some dead language that eventually got cathol says

TG true. Yeah, I like looked in a druidism thinking it would be like cool sucks. Yeah fucking stinks. One guy had a memorized It they were set up so that if like everyone got wiped out there was one dude who could just recreate the whole society She had to like memorize all of this shit. They didn't they I think they were like I was like they must have done like some sort of like cool drugs Nope, they did like holly plants. They like fucking smoked holly plants or something. Yeah, they were dumbass Not a good bus. Yeah, not were dumb ass. Not a good bus Yeah, not a good bus. I don't like the druids. I was like, do you like totally get into this? I like the dramatic people Yeah, what are they? I have the 40s obviously. Yeah I just I was looking into the battle of Tutinburg force. I think that's what it's called

Just when the dramatic bros got after a ruminant, they got two legions, they just bought fuck them. Jeremy and boys came out of the woods, scared them, attacked them. Damn, tortured them. Yeah, they were nasty. Pretty fun. They were nasty, dude. They were like, because there was the Vikings way up

and the Germans were like the Vikings. This is pretty, pretty Vikings. Really? Yeah. I guess we're in an empire. Yeah. When did the, when did the bikes set up? 800?

No, okay. It's when they started making the way down to Europe. Boat, Boat. I think. Help me out on that. They started to go there. Obviously they were there. I see they're up there probably for a long ass ride.

Well, we're Vikings without their boats. Without that long boat, dude. True. Fucking nothing. Love crews. They're like, love crews, dude. Those guys just saw, I don't like the nothing. Love cruise. There's no love cruise dude. Those guys just saw, I don't like them like this. But if they were just like hopeless romantic scenes,

I think they were hopeless romantic. They got real hopeless romance. They were really hopeless romantic. They were fucking, they were very romantic. As soon as they landed, real lover boys after they killed all the men, they were like, we're like, we're gonna talk and travel all this way. I killed your husband, I love you.

I killed your kids in your husband, I love you. Seriously, seriously, you're not gonna talk to me? Hey, take my life. I'm sorry. God, that one is. 793 to 1066. How nice of a lie, dude. 790, that's nice.

Yeah, you're right there. I just knew Charlemagne kind of overlapped. Shhh, god damn, that's so tight. I'm so Charlemagne kind of overlapped. Shhh, god damn that's so tight. I'm so jealous of those dudes when I watch documentaries and like, oh yes, they can just piece together. Yeah. You're like, dumb old man. Yeah, that was, uh,

this is all my knowledge just from total war video games. Still counts. Yeah. Knowledge is not. Yeah, knowledge is not. 1066 was obviously the battle of Hastings. That's when the Vikings showed up. Yeah, I like going back so far that no one can dispute it because I mean, I

hate that. I could be 20,000, I could be 25,000 years off. That is nice to like, yeah, about 800,000 years ago, man, discovered fire. We believe there are records indicate and you're like, fucking, yeah, man, although they're probably right. They found a burnt rock and they're like, what's this about? You know, 800,000 years old, let's carbon date this. It's like, sure. Yeah, I'm excited for them to find out carbon dating is just ineffective. They're like, all right, well, we have no idea when anything happened. Fuck. Good. Where are we at on this one? We got to switch over to the factory on where 56. Oh, we got a little more time for you. I don't know. Yeah, and we have to be adverse to men's and

we're to men's and avert to men's. What else is going on? Do we have anything else fun to talk about? Dude, I watched my daughter swim for the first time yesterday. She had swim lessons like. I do. Fucking phenomenally. It was crazy. Dude, they just like kids don't have to swim. I mean, obviously you need to like train them a little, but like, dude, this lady is broader in the pool. And was just like, all right, she's like, watch this. I was like moving her, putting her face in there and then she just goes, now kick off me and try to get that ring. And dude, they just like flail to the staff.

And we watched her like learn how to swim basically in like 10 minutes. It was crazy. And this was after you wailed out. This after I did you wailed. Did you wailed? I didn't get to go on the pool today. I go on the pool. I did day to dry out, but I did go get breakfast

Taco today. I get breakfast. I can you like it fat and Austin. I will please. There's so much food for a little boy Like make me so I might dude. There's so much so much Special treats for a special guy like like guy like you that like me. Special. Yeah, they don't really accommodate too much in filly No, not at all. You have to go to the hipster neighborhood and fill in. This is entire city's hipster. Dude, we have a farmer's market near us. That's like the end-all, be-all. I was malk it.

I have, do I have baguettes? Yes, I have baguettes in my house. Do I have everything baguettes? Looting free baguettes, gluten free everything baguettes. I have dinner rolls, dude. Yesterday, what did I eat? Just dinner rolls, dude. I don't know.

Yeah, I don't, You should have seen my dinner. I made my own dinner. I can't have beans and baked chicken vines. This fucking disgust. No seasoning. But like salt on it. That's a tough meal. I said, I sat at that table.

You watched the last samurai and ate like three pieces of baked chicken in a can of meat. You ate a meal like a Germanic warrior dude. I don't know how to cook. I don't know how to cook. I bought you saw my fridge. I did. I saw your supplies. My fucking this is embarrassing. Bacon. Chicken. Bacon in eggs. I haven't touched those. Watch me me. I can show you I can teach you how to cook It's not hot. I need to learn how to make your meals. I'm telling you I want to make the rice gruel You make get an Instapot get it in you get an Instapot you can be in business to you start making soups and dude You can all I want is the girl you make all dude the Instapot you get the gruel is easy I can say I can literally show you how to make that you can make it in two seconds. Okay, you get good You can get good at chopping stuff. Easy.

HUB Central Market. They have all the meals already made for you. True. Even so, it's a grub hub. I'm talking about cooking. I'm about cooking for the heart. I'm talking about I need to make that pile of gruel. Yeah, you can make it.

I'll eat the whole thing at once. Dude, you get a whole check-in, sit in some water. You know, you can make your own bone broth. It's fucking easy. All right. You can make it a nice big bone broth, it's fucking easy. All right. And you can make a nice big vat, and it just leaves. I'm gonna have you come over here.

I'll teach him you'll have a nice cooking day. That'd be nice. Because right now, I'm just putting pieces of chicken in the oven. I don't even time it. I'm just sitting here and go, that's gotta be done. I'm like, what should I eat?

What do I have? I have a can of beans. Can't eat just so good though. Big did yeah, you've even ripped up the game I was afraid of the fight for it new daccon I'm Let's go sir. You have to wrap that furry ass play head to these pillows are so nice. Yes, this is nice Let's go to the page. I'll show you. I'll teach you the ways. It's easy I you feel like a the biggest dumbass when you first make a cooking show Trail we go do we get cash in

We get totally cash in Yeah, do the yeah, you feel like a dumbass you the first time you make a meal for somebody It's like kind of show me he's on the fuck he likes you He's on the microphone wire no way he's sustained that too he's gonna be alive he's a dragon well let's do it let's switch the motherfucker pat your on yo join the patreon to see if you'll fly survived he's getting another fly in here thank you Thanks. Bye.