Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 466 - Daddy's D

Episode Date: November 2, 2023

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Get Merch @ mssecretpodcast.com/merch HELLO. The D.A.W.G.Z. are back with your weekly podcast. Business as usual. Praise be. The bros discuss rest and recovery, daddy's d, baby's d, and so much more!!!!!!!!!!! The bros took a pizz pause and go right into the paytch afterwards. Which is why there's sort've an abrupt ending. Please enjoy. God Bless you.  ttyl Support the show & get up to 40% off of Beam when you go to https://www.shopbeam.com/DRENCHED & use promo code DRENCHED

I'm wearing my represent realist in the game. Yeah, how could you not? Obviously. His merch is probably the sickest dude. Represent. Realist in the game. Represent. Wearing the represent shirt into a Starbucks this morning was pretty weird.

Really? What are they? I look like a fucking moron. Why? What am I representing? I would say represent yourself, dude. Are we going to put off your mother's seat? All right, that's good. You put off your mother's seat. All right, that's good.

You put off your mother fucking seat. Nadea says they do it. Represent is the sickest merch. Yes, fuck you. Not when you are visibly out of shape. Can't represent. It feels weird, like, representing. Represent, who do you think about representing?

I represent no-one fighting Irish. I love the no-one fighting Irish. God, yeah, I see. It's true. So you're like, don't look at me right now, guys. Guys, I'm a poorer flexion of Notre Dame's program. I'm a poorer flexion of the NIC Diaz army right now. Also, I was wearing these gray sweatpants again

without underpants. With the boner. Not a boner, I mean, close to it. I mean, a tiny boner. That's perfect. I knobbed out in the roughest. Still loving? Yeah.

Yeah. Damn, So it's nice. Your dog's been defying gravity. Just perfect float. Matthew and I did the cold plunge yesterday. And my god, Matt almost caught a glimpse. Matt came in to the room where I was changing and almost caught a glimpse. I was close. What would have been one of the gnarliest tines as you know, it was the smallest your penis can possibly it Did my choice the outer all penis mind was great mind was I would I was like rebirth Yeah, people do like rebirthing no, I said you can like there's guys that do like a certain type of breathing where someone coaches you through Re like experiencing your birth. There's what are we doing the whole that I all if I I call my penis and I do I think it's real because I looked at my penis and I was all the sudden like

I had like a double quarter round my neck. I was like God That penis was Yeah, yeah Joe still has a unit. You notice that I didn't look you look I thought to look no I swear to God in my head. I want you should probably see The fucking the thing I was like go look in my head. I went to don't don't I literally my head I want you should probably see the fucking the thing. I was like, go look in my head. I want to don't I literally my head I was like, look, you're just dick and I was like, no, don't look at his dick. He's a blonde state. Rogi's penis. It's the hog. I feel like he would just appreciate us giving him props on having. He's got a nice hog.

Yeah, he's got a decent hog post fucking Hog, dude. See, I caught a vicious glimpse because I was, he got out, he got out, I got right in. So he was just standing next to the hog. And I was in there like, I was quite a prick. Oh man, it just takes huge, that might have boosted you for that extra 30 seconds. That was the extra 30. That was the warp extra 30 seconds. That was the extra 30.

That was the warmth I needed. That was the fight or flight. You see a hog like that. I mean, dude, for real, that is like, that is a mental test. How bad is that fucking sauna, dude? Dude. So I'm talking about, give me a little glimpse. Can I please talk about,

I'm mad when the roadies a light workout yesterday gave us a nice one. Can I please, I have to, before I forget about this, and I do want to talk about Matt went to the road he's a light workout yesterday gave us a nice one Can I please I have to I before I forget about this and I do want to talk about that dude how comforting is it to see daddy's day Dude not see it but like see daddy's dick I'm saying there could be a part of your like psychology Yeah, it's got to be a part of your boy psychology it like sees your dad goes down the underwear. He's got to be a part of your boy psychology. It like sees your dad's fucking. It does take you back a little.

Especially while you're in the cold point and yours is, yes, preef the best. That's what I'm thinking about. And you go, damn, someday I'll be there. I know I'm 35, but someday I'll be there. I don't know about that. He's got to be a part that is like everything's okay. There's just that in his confidence.

I'm saying giant bullshitt dick and I level right now. I'm okay, I'm safe. That's all I'm saying. Now we can talk about this on it, dude. That's all. I'm not trying to be weird. We're not trying to be weird. Same Ruggies.

Forgive us. Forgive us, brother. We're not trying to be weird. Same rogues forgive us Forgive us brother. Sorry. These are nothing but compliments for Okay Yeah, the sauna that was scary. Yeah, dude. I thought for sure I had that on lock. I was like this is not bad I was very happy for the first couple minutes when you're like I'm like an iguana This is nothing to me. Oh, this is it across from you like dude. You have no idea There's nothing to me. There's a Zinn across from me. Like, dude, you have no idea. You have no idea.

I thought it was 10 minutes. You have no idea. What's coming? Towards the end of 10 minutes, I'm like, all right. I'm seeing double eyes. I had to like strain my vision. 20 minutes at 185 is what he keeps his son at. And it's so fucking bad.

Dude, I couldn't breathe. I started, I was telling you, I was breathing through my fucking nose and it was, my burgers were hot. Yeah. I had hot lava for my bogey dutch hair. Your hair is dude, that was so hot. That was fucking me off. It hurts to touch your hot. Yeah, I had hot lava for my boat. You touch your hair your hair is dude That was so hot that was fucking me out hurts to touch your hair. Yeah, dude I was going this and going What the fuck was my hair so fucking hot then I look at you guys need to be double eyes and I'd be like

Yeah, this is nothing I could die you're not good. I know dude. I was dying. Oh my god waterless I was fucking waterless, dude. I didn't bring a mistake. I didn't bring any water with me. I gotta stop doing that. I load up in the morning, you see me today, dude. This bottle's like two weeks old. I just keep refilling it out of my fridge. That's good. Well, that's eco-friendly.

That is actually very fun. Very fun. But yeah, dude, that shit was scary, dude. Yeah. Like, I thought that was gonna be the easy part and the plunge, I was like, that's what I'm doing. No, Sanna is definitely the harder part. Dude, that's fucked up. The cold plunger when you get out does I went there I went to Rogan's

studio a while ago and I put my hand in the cold plunger and I was like I'll literally never do this. Yeah ever. Then you get in there you see the hog you go I got to fuck you man I gotta be a man I gotta do this dude my penis will get big something. yeah you got it you get out dude it does give you It felt like Molly it felt like I was on like you get out and like all that is blissfully blissful yeah Yeah, I got yeah, although it's like I get someone Rick Moranis my fucking hog you get out It's like honey. I shrunk my fucking hog dude honey. My hog has been shrunk my hog was in the grass and answered as all big water. It was like, everyone, everybody get out of here. Yeah, although the hog comes back. The hog is reemerges.

Come on, to play. Yeah. I mean, you know, I feel sexy though. It's all relative hogs. Did you feel sexy? Today? After you got out of the cold blanket, you got out.

I did, dude. I felt a little sexy. I felt sexy and I felt so confident too. I felt sexy and confident. Dude, for real, I come out of the cold. I did, dude. I felt a little sexy. I felt sexy and I felt so confident too. I felt sexy and confident. Dude, for real, I come out of that thing and I was driving my car and I was like, I'm like a real dude. I'm like not a figment of my own imagination.

I'm in a home with nice. Dude, I was so fucking confident. It's actually funny you say that because I really was driving like, I'm like a legitimate human being. And I was just driving like, yeah, I'm not just a collection being. And I was just driving like, yeah, I'm not just a collection

of fucking neurotic bullshit. Yeah. So thank you to... War off the thing I got tired. I was like, I got so sleepy. Also, that's another fit they say. Like you're gonna be fucking feeling great the rest of it. I was that first show last night.

I apologize to everybody that came to the show last night. You really think it was that bad? It was pretty fucking bad. The first show I was like asleep apologize to everybody that came to the show. You really think it was that bad? It was pretty fucking bad. The first show, I was like asleep. Oh yeah, yeah, that's all, yeah, what can you do? And then the bottom of the barrel woke me up. Dude, that was fun. That's so funny.

I like that the default is just the worst thing I can think of. You take a topic, you're like, what is this? That school fight, Columbine. That was also hilarious though. Yeah, that was all I could do. Did you feel like, what is this? That's school fight. Columbine. That was also hilarious though. Yeah, that was all I could do. To be like, well, let me tell you about a school. Knowing the date and time was perfect. Yeah, yeah.

It was perfect. But no, that was fun. Last night was fun. Stand up. Stand up was nice. It's fun, I'm always worried. I'm telling you, do I have a new hour? And I was like, this is so good.

I'm looking at it now. And I have to do it a lot. And I'm like, I have to do it tomorrow. It's a week, so do I. I have a new hour and I was like, this is so good. I'm looking at it now and I have to do it a lot. And I'm like, I have to do it tomorrow. It's a week, so do I. I have to do it tomorrow. Where you going? Alabama. Madison, Wisconsin.

Wisconsin, Alabama. You're a big town on Sucy now. True. Dude, can you please elaborate on the, uh, the spy coach? Yes. I'm so happy about it. Also, now we're talking college football. Yes.

My condolences to Colorado They do suck now. I feel bad about trash. Do they suck? Yeah, they kind of suck There's too much pressure on a man. There was a lot of pressure They got fucking robbed this week. What happened? No, not like on like literally somebody went in the locker room and stole all their fucking It was probably the coach of that team. Yeah, it was probably fucking stallions Michigan is a secret agent. For real. I do my apologies to the Colorado Buffaloes. I take it back. Uh, they got fucking you think a lot of college football news. Dude, I was at the Texas game. Really? Oh, the can. I got the fire. The can at the end of the eyes of Texas.

Awesome. It was, uh, I was, I know I make this joke a lot, but I am like a fully like a, make a wish guy at these things. When he got, did they brought me into the pen with Beavo, the fucking Longhorn, this giant Longhorn and they were like, you could touch him. I was like, I literally asked, I went in, I was like, am I allowed to touch him? I was afraid of it. I got in there. I was like, this, if this thing moves, I'm dead.

You're fucked. It's fucking, it's horns look like that there. I was like, this thing moves. I'm dead. You're fucked. It's fucking, it's horns look like that. Like that, like it's six feet. Is it friendly? He's, he almost looks sedated. He's, he's chill. Yeah. But I got in.

Color you wear. I was like, am I allowed to touch him? I was wearing black. I know how to, dude. Thank God. Thank Christ. I wasn't wearing my red, my bright red shirt. That is the finished shirt. I go in there like, yeah, you could touch him. Thank Christ I wasn't wearing my red my bright red shirt

I go in there like yeah, you could touch him I walk up to the side of it and just come Got away from it I didn't even bet it I went I Scanned into a top secret room. I went. And then they were like, we want you, they're like shoot the cannon. I was like, I was, I was pretending I wasn't terrified of this fucking cannon. True. It's so loud. And then, uh, yeah, do you have plugs in? Yeah. Yeah. That makes my head crazy. And I fired at the end of the eyes of

Texas, which is their fights on which is their racist fights on by the way. Not it really? No. It was a lie back, allegedly. It was allegedly, but I don't think so. Yeah, I see. I'm firmly against it. I've done no research.

I'm pretty sure it's not. They're smiling eyes of Texas. They're smiling. They're like, grimace like, is that guy? Hey. Hey. What the hell are you doing around here? Yeah.

Fired the cannon, it went smoothly. That's tight. Yeah. What's the mechanism? It's so easy. It's like a pinball thing. Like you just pull the... For real?

Yeah, it's that easy. It's all off. I thought there was a rope involved that I was gonna have to fuck it. I thought you were gonna lay a tiny fuse and... So you just feel real just go pop. Yeah. It's kinda cool. It was neat. And if it's going to go pop. Yeah. It's kind of cool. It was neat. And if I just you're ripping gunpowder.

Yeah, just a blank. They got a Santa ball. Yeah, you got a Santa ball. It was aimed right at the BYU section. Just light up those moments. They could, I guess I couldn't t-shirt ball. I think that might have happened in Texas. In Mexico.

I think people were lighting up the moments. Really? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Mitch Romney's family get old. Yeah. Mitch Romney's family get Oh yeah, did Mitch Romney's family get old? Yeah, Mitch Romney's. Did they beat his ass in Mexico? Yeah.

He was getting too much blue. No, I think Mitch Romney has a, his grandpa had a compound down there. He did, yeah. I remember I heard about that. I kind of got him. I think Mitch Romney's dad had a bunch of, I don't like that.

I like, they like both that out. Look at this fucking weirdo and I was like, he's got a kind of piece of religious compound in Mexico that has a ton of bitches. Beast mode. Yeah. That is beast mode. He was actually, Mitt Romney ended up, maybe, yeah, I mentioned, no, I mentioned better.

Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney. The title of that song was taken from Confederate General Robert E Lee. And apparently they would perform it in blackface sometimes. Whoa. Well, they're firing that cannon. It could be an action. You can't cover it and so it wouldn't be like that. Yeah, you got to share it with blackface who it could have been so.

This is AP news, I don't know. This AP news is fucking a live liberal rag. A liberal rag AP news rag, AP news. Fuck. Well, never mind. But, hey, Penn State, that's worse. Penn State is way worse. Way worse, dude. I mean, everyone's got one skeleton in their closet, yeah.

You know, speaking of skeletons into the closet, Michigan Wolverines, my true most hated team, yes, fall apart Michigan. They hired a guy, one of their coaches steals signals. Like that's his whole job. It's illegally go to games. It's not like the craziest thing to steal signals if you're during the game.

But this guy's, they're paying for him to fly to every game. They're playing. He like scouts it, films it and shit. Apparently, I don't know the full details of the story, but the guy, his name's Connor Stallions, he was a fucking, he went to the naval academy. Yeah. And he, I think he was in the middle of the, he's a psycho. And he wrote like a manifesto of how he would turn around Michigan football.

And then he got like super involved in just stealing signals and being a secret agent man. Damn, dude. And then I like that aspect. I mean, if there's like a, like a, that's dedication to the football CIA or like someone who's doing that, that's there could be a guy who's a double agent on your team. I like, let's, that is cool. Let's open that up. There's some cool moments like that. Yeah, it's a Mike Leach when he was at Oklahoma dropped a fake Playbook on the sidelines before the game the other team got a hold of it. What? Yeah

I mean also if you are I peter the legend you could go down co-opting All those all those guys with like sexual blackmail you're on a college. campus. It's, it's Epstein's, you know what I mean? And it's not hard to do those guys are. No, yeah. You can just send fucking freshmen to Adam. I think Michigan State's coach just got fired for fucking jacking off or something. Really? Yeah.

What the fuck's going on in Michigan? I don't know. So there's Michigan State, there's Michigan, down, overings or blue Michigan. Yeah. So Michigan State was jacking off the Boehrings. Michigan State Coach was jacking off for something. What did the Michigan State Coach do? He's under investigation for sexual misconduct

is what it's. Dude Michigan's falling apart. Michigan is falling apart. And then fucking Colorado got all their jerly stolen. That's Colorado got all their fucking college footballs fun. It's all so crazy. They've really hyped it up, man. Who did it?

Do they know who done it? Who stole all that ice? I think it was at Arizona State or where were the... Dude, that's the load of ice. Yeah. Dude, I got... Did she do what it get as Rolex stolen? That's the big question.

Really? That was like Deon Sanders son's celebration was just wearing a Rolex. Really? That was like Deon Sanders' son's celebration was just wearing a Rolex. Really? Yeah, he would just go, he would score a touchdown. He wears one when he plays? I don't know if he wore it when he plays, but everybody knows that he's talking about the roly.

Oh, he holds up the wrist. Like that. Yeah. That's something stolen. So that's funny. That is funny. So what's, that's funny. That is funny. So what's that has nothing to do with sports? I assume most of the Colorado buffaloes

had insurance on their jewelry. Oh, yeah. So they sure are true. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, but still what about the emotional significance? I mean, have you ever lost one of your pieces? Have you ever lost one of your pieces? I've never lost a piece, but I've had two stereos

ripped out of a car. Yeah. And that is a very vulnerable feeling when someone steals something from you. Yeah, I never understood that. You don't realize how shitty it feels. Yeah, I never felt violated. I'd always be going, I felt very violated. Did you, how's that would be violating? My car would just be like, some dude cut my lock cylinder out one time and it took my

whole lock out and then just popped my door. And this while I want a busy street to sat in the same thing, pull my radio. Yeah. I got just ripped my fucking whole dashboard out to see this. Just, yeah, that's my car. It was in my high school parking lot, the face. So what the fuck was it? What happened?

Then the second time was just right in front of my house. Yeah. Yeah. Just stealing from like a, it's a 97 jetta. It's like a piece of shit. That's fucked up. Yeah. I used to leave my car doors unlocked as I see it broken into so much and I'm pretty sure a dude was like, I just like smell like a homeless guy every now and again. I think a dude was just popping in there. Like it should have been old farts. Could be. Yeah. Old farts staying cars. True. I'd I know. Brother, I know, dude.

This summer down here, this heat, I'm gonna confirm. For a trap from Farts. I might pass out if I re-enter my, if you trapped a fart in like a hundred degrees. Also, is there one meal here that doesn't have fucking hot sauce in it? I don't think so.

My butt is just, I go back to that bathroom and you know the beef's different down here too. Yeah. I've been eating a lot of beef down here. It's like, it's not sitting well.. I'm yeah, I'm a shitting hard It's kick it's it's the fucking longhorn dude longhorn. So I stand it's coming out, dude. I eat bevo What when the mascot dies they eat the steak really? Yeah, that's kind of tight actually. Yeah It's very native American of them. It is actually they should be so we celebrate it for that at least

Georgia should do that with their mascot once the mascot bulldog Or they could yeah, they could play like an international game somewhere than like debut up Where would they play? I don't know like wherever like bring college to the larger area. Yeah, wherever I don't get you know, I don't know You know, I mean maybe like scat and then maybe like Norway I don't care, you know, I don't know. You know what I mean? Maybe like Scandin, maybe like Norway or something. Scandinavian's only to bulldog.

They would, they'd munch that thing up. They'd have a nice turkey leg on them, like a fried bulldog. Yeah. That'd be a nice haunch. That would actually, probably would be fucking good. It's probably pretty good. I wonder, do you think dog tastes gamey?

French bulldog, I'm gonna get a little rotisserie bulldog. Ooh, something to get upset about. That people get so mad at me talking about eating or having sex with dogs, do you just say it's dogs? Sex with dogs. That pisses people. It sounded like last night. Really?

On bottom of the barrel, he was doing a joke about watching it. When he was young, he saw a dog get fucked. I think on the internet, I didn't catch the beginning. I assumed it was you know, if it was in real life, I could see by the audience was like, oh my God. Yeah, you can't talk about it. It's fucking a dog. I've do.

Watching a dog fuck a lady is much more powered up. That's fine. Yeah. No, that's true. Yeah, I've made the mistake several times while you're away to be like, just talk about murdering dogs and people get very mad. Yeah.

My mind is, when I have nothing to talk about, it's just funny, just because I know it bothers people. Because it is the worst, yeah. It bothers people immensely. It's str funny. I know it bothered people. It is the worst. Yeah. It bothers people immensely. We're strangling a golden retriever. Although, dude, we had a baby bird near her house. Like literally against our door. It was like a, I don't, it was like black bird yellow belly. I couldn't get a clear idea on it. But it was totally odd. I was looking up like, dude, I think I might be a fucking, I mean, obviously,

Paul's myself a bird watcher. I was bird watching it. I'm stupid. Dude, I'm telling you. You're a hog farming. You're going sweet. So nice. Havolina. It's a big old Havolina.

It's a guy. Nah, the Havolina. Dude, I had a yellow belly black, I'm going in. I'm going in. I'm going in. I'm going in. Dude, I had a yellow belly black wings, a little guy. I wasn't a total baby, but it was a young bird, and it was just huddled against my door. I felt so bad. I was like, you know, I don't want to touch it. Is that like, fun?

No, that's not true. Really? Yeah. Well, I gave it a little, I made it a little tinfoil bird bath, and I was like, here's some water at least. And we went away to my parents house for my nephew's birthday. I came back and it was gone, and I was like, maybe's some water at least. We went away to my parents house from my nephew's birthday. I came back and it was gone. And I was like, maybe you got munched.

Definitely. Maybe flew, hopefully it's flat, it's spread its way. You can put them back in the nest. Can you, I didn't know where the nest was, that was a problem. Yeah, such a good thing to teach kids though. Cause birds are always fucking disease. Especially if ones kicked out. That makes sense.

Yeah, because my wife was like, there's nothing on a bird. She has a weird knowledge about birds. Paul's on myself again. Yeah. Yeah. No, dude, she'll hate a lot of pauses. She'll hate them with crackles.

She'll hate them with crackles. Like, oh, that's like a crackle. And I'm like, what the fuck? How do you know this? She was saying when birds are down like that, refusing to fly, as usually is an injury, that's like chronic. And she's like, the best thing you can do

is just fucking put them out of their misery. I was like, Jesus, man, I'm gonna stop on a fucking baby bird. She was saying you're like, just like break their necks. I'm like, God, I was like, dude, what the fuck? I was like, I'm not doing that. Yeah, I'm like that. So I laid a birdbath out and I showed my,

I'm like, look at the bird, the little baby bird, and we came back and it was gone. So she got to be like, you flew away to his mom and he was like, yes, definitely. It cat definitely. One of my dogs went to be eaten it, because it was right by where they came out.

I saw him tilt a sniff on it and I was like, get out of there. He went out and went out later, and I was like, you're just walking a munch that bird. Absolutely. I tried, you know, because I looked at your bed.

I'm like, I could build a little box in my head. I was like, I'm not doing this. The same, I'm gonna leave this out the elements. No, I am scared of the animals around here. I saw that video that snake you saw. That was a scary snake. Yeah, dude. I've been hearing it's a gardener snake.

I always saw it's gardener snakes. They're called gardener snakes. Yeah. Gardener, like a... Gardener, exactly. Yep. Something that's slipped right down. Kiss.

I like to do that. I like to watch at weddings when people take the garden and build off the... Dude, yeah, slipped right down. Kiss. I like to do that. I like to watch at weddings when people take the guard or belt off the. Dude, yeah, they got it. That's the guard or belt? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, it's a thing on the thigh that they've built. But what was that thing for initially?

It's like when you got to a lady's guard or like, whoa, here, yeah, they're pussy's gonna be over there. Don't stop right here. I don't know. You're gonna touch your pussy. Please stop at the guard or do you know, man? Guard or belt and it was, yeah, when did they start that? They please stop at the garden. Yeah, yeah, Garter belt and it was Yeah, when did they start that they couldn't have started?

Oh, no, I remember the first time seeing it as a young boy at a wedding. Yeah, I was related to the bride I was like Yeah, this is something I don't yeah, I don't need this in the context of my experience. Oh, no What's going on here? I was just sprinting around drinking soda Now the son of an experiencing horniness Yeah, you saw like a yeah, yeah, that would've, that would've fucked me up. Guy reaching up addressed.

Yeah, man, that's right. Everyone, everyone's like, yeah. I mean, it's an improvement from holding up fucking the bloodstain sheets. The family be like, yeah. She had a fucking high knee. Yeah, I must've sucked back then. When you smash under wedding night, and it was just like, there's nothing, nothing there. Yeah, damn. So sucked back then. When you smash on your wedding night,

and it was just like, there's nothing there. Yeah, damn. I would've cut myself. I would've cut myself to the edge of the bride and be like, now you're fucked. You do what I say. Yeah.

Which is just true or something crazy, but it's just true. Because you'd have to come out for your whole family, but like, somebody fucked her. Somebody fucked her before, she's not being a fucking... Yeah, yeah, somebody fucked her. I'm fucking the shit your whole family, bitch. Somebody fucker. Somebody fucker, everybody's up here. Yeah, yeah, somebody fucker. I'm fucking the shit out of her, mom.

Everybody I tried. I fucker's hard as I could. Or you went out to your family and then someone was like, for real, and then, I think what happened is when your uncle's big, let me see that, and it's mad, and be like, nope, she had the Jaime, bro. Yeah, she had a small penis, and you couldn't dislodge the Jaime. You could have quicked her all too.

I mean, it must have been every night too. It's crazy they're breaking high mies. Because if you're talking like, I mean, that's not that. What was that? Hundreds of years ago, you had the hold up the fucking high mishie. Yeah. If you're like a, you're 17, you're getting married. You've been stopped by Garter Bells your whole life.

You're like, what's low down? All you're saying that the dude's gonna not quick? Instantly, bro. Instantly. Although they probably were fucking back to back too. What do you mean back to back? If you're saying that the dude's gonna not quick instantly, bro. Yeah, instantly although they probably were fucking back to back to What do you mean back to back if you're that horny? If you're getting married when you're 17. Oh, you can not again. Yeah, you probably hard right away. Yeah, right Yeah, probably I hate I'm trying to see if they were like annihilating or if they were just like you're talking about annihilating the post

You're sitting half like porno to watch. They just be like I have no idea how to do this So just getting in and just be like, oh yeah. Yeah. Imagine if you've never, yeah, you'd have to completely like someone would have to like whisper to you in a field like, this is how you do it.

Yeah. How would you know what to do? It would feel so nice. It would be crazy. It would be pure instinct. Yeah. I don't know. I thought that, it's kind of nuts.

I never thought about that. Like you didn't do, yeah, it would just be, it It would be pure instinct. Yeah. I don't know. I thought that it's kind of nuts. I never thought about that. Like you didn't do, yeah, it would just be, it probably was just mish. Your dad was probably like, tell her to lay down, lay on her, lay belly to belly and just torture. Yeah. No one, you know what I mean? Like how the fuck did they tell you that?

How did they tell you about sex? Yeah. Like we just get it right. I mean, you just have to... Same way, birds and bees. Yeah. Yeah, but I didn't have I mean, you just have to. Same way. Birds and bees. Yeah. Yeah, but I didn't have like a birds and bees talk. I just watched porn. Like my parents brought it up for a second.

My dad was like, yo, chill. All right. How did the dudes in the 60s find out? They had the, they would watch, man. I guess they'd look at mags. Yeah. I guess. I can go back to pre.

I think that information just exists in like a constant stream. Yeah. Yeah. I think your brothers would be like, take your prick. Execute and stay. Yeah, you your prick. Execute, and stick. Yeah, you've got a shove your prick

and a fucking bullish. That's cause stink like shit. Dude, I got fucking my, my reaction test it last night. Really? Waiting for my Uber, dude walks up in a screen mask, full outfit. Did you think it was the real screen?

Well, dude, I'm just like, kind of like, all right, watching them walk up, and I'm just like, look at that, I'm like, well, what a cool costume. Bussed up a fucking knife. At you? Yeah but it was it was it was it it was a fake knife but it was it me you can't fucking tell. Yeah. Bussed it up in knife like literally I was out on seven street just standing there waiting for my dude goes hi and dude I for real went. Resumed combat stance and I was like anyway, anyone, I got a better look, I'm like, it's fake fucking knife.

I had to give it up and my damn, that was actually pretty nice. That's crazy. It was insane. It was insane. I know. It was insane that he was going around doing that. The guy I was trying to die, I think.

We're just having a really good time, even a good judge of sizing people up. He was six feet, it's pretty rough. Dude, that, that prank, and I was so happy I fucking put up my I instinctively put up Yeah, I just want that's thank God I thought instead of flight You've run a few have screamed. I wouldn't have fallen myself in either direction because I'll yeah

I'd be like and like covered my head which I could that could have even happened in my brain No, dude. You know you actually fucking you actually put up your dukes and could have taken that off. I mean, you were hitting the heavy bag early. True. You were getting hit with a combo. I heard you ripping those combos. Dude, I was trying not to rip. I was trying to be just chill.

I've used to hit heavy bags all the time. My technique's probably trash, but I used to get real into me like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, as fast as I can. Are you sure the combos? I don't a couple of them. An idea I did the more time. But yeah, that was them. And I did. I did do them way too. But yeah, that was fun.

My shin hurt when I fucking kick that thing. Yeah, it's hard as I never do it like, kick it as hard as I can. Yeah, you have to. You have to. I hit right here and I was like, Ouch. It was good though.

You got a good technique. You got good technique. You got to go with it. Just step across. Yeah, you pivot. Legs of what, dude. Very nice. Yeah. You can rip them what do you very nice? Yeah, you can rip you can rip them once you learn It's so sick

So you can hit someone that the hardest part is not wanting to like two weeks after where you're like yo But you're like let me I'm gonna show you something. Yeah, you started whippin People know they see all with a terrible kick. Yeah, they're on Kicks someone directly in the side of the me I I could have, I could have like kicked that guy. I was within my right with my front kick them. True. Get back. Get back scream.

Yeah, isn't that crazy? That is absolutely ridiculous. It was, you know, I was, I was shocked. I was like, I got over the shock of it and then like, watch the guy walk away and he's walking to a crowd. I was like, that was insane. Yeah. Like I like that was insane. Yeah. Like I did that to me.

That happened in scream too. Remember they were at the movies? There's a guy, everybody was dressed as a scream guy and the murderer was actually there. That could have happened to you. You could have been stabbed on six street like that. Yeah man. I was... Dude, I mean I like to think I, I mean, I'm kind of the one I didn't control was wrist. Yeah. You did your best.

Striking the fucking. The Duke stance was nice. Yeah, hit him with the fight knife. Yeah, it was pretty crazy. Well, fucking, I literally went, don't. Oh, yeah, okay, you know, it's a sort of laugh. Oh, you laughed? I would've been fucking furious.

Oh, I was relieved. I was relieved. I was relieved. I've been in a sale by knife men before. So I was like, oh no. A knife man got you? Yeah, in Brazil. I got robbed by guys.

Yeah, I got three knife men. Fucking came at me. Put them up to me. They just point the knives at you. They do. They put them like literally right next to my one hip, this hip, and then one guy had one of my belly. And I was just there.

I kept saying tranquille, tranquille, tranquille. Teo, meals, tranquille. Like what? Yeah, man, that was wild. You go out of your body when you're getting robbed. You're just going, you get so calm, you're just like, it is like the matrix slow down, but you're just in shock basically. You're not like doing cool moves, you're just going, you're like, look at that guy's face and it's so weird, dude. It's kind of sick that your body does it.

It is nice to tap into that. Like if you're getting mowed by a bear, it's probably bliss. It's certain point across is over and your brain just like, brother, look at this, brother. Brother check out these cool ass fractals. No. I'm gonna hold time. It's like, wow. Yeah, man, you're DMV's gonna kick in, dude.

You're DMV's gonna kick in, dude. You're DMV's gonna kick in, dude. You're DMV's gonna kick in, dude. You're DMV's gonna kick in, dude. You're DMV's gonna kick in, it's like, ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! You're gonna kick in, dude. You're gonna kick in, dude. You're gonna kick in, dude. You're gonna go,

you are gonna be launched into the next universe. Oh, yeah. Can eatin' by a bear. Vee a bear. Oh, that's a rough way to go. Wasn't there just so like campers, a husband and a wife and a dog just got eaten by a bear? I heard that was a real story in the last text.

They wasn't a fucking fairy tale. I think one they had the long ball of board. They said the last text they sent was bears here help. So like, they're an older couple, but the dog got munched too. All three of them apparently got munched by one bear. And they set off a text like bears here. Bear is here setting up an old couple dude damn you're in retirement. You're with your wife And then you get you get munched dude by a bear get out of those woods dude. Yeah for real

Well, they kind of survived for a while because it said they texted out sos bear attack bad. Oh, so they bled out. Oh my god Where was it Alaska? See, I'm on pain. It's hard for that snort. I did that sniffle. I didn't know the came of the Bannif National Park in Canada. Yeah, that sounds like it. No offense to our brothers up north. That sounds like no offense. Yeah, SOS. True. To get attacked by a bear and be like,

oh, I'm gonna attack by a bear. Oh, the bear's here, eh? Oh, I don't know. SOS, see? That's the fucking Mexican. Sorry, our brothers up in North-Earth. I'm sorry you guys have to deal with that all the time. Two sisters up north.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, two sisters up north. That would piss me off, man. If I let me Canada and I heard Americans being like, pussies, because you can't be like, no, we're the tough ones. You're like, dude, no, no.

Yeah, no, you're not. That does suck. Like I could kick your ass. It's like, yeah, maybe dude, but then I call the army and we'd fuck. Yeah, our army would. That fucking beat ass. If Canadian people in Canada, and they beat me up,

I could probably call the army like an embassy and make you. Yeah. Can you send one helicopter? Handle this business dude. Fuck this guy off dude. Rock these fucking conucks. That would be cool. People are all pissed off the military budget.

They could at Uber the military out. Private ties a little bit where it's like yo bro. We do. Someone my neighbor is true. But imagine if you can do like retail consumer services like yo my neighbor is straight tripping bro. Yeah. Do something.

Flash bang him. Flash bang is astute. Flash bang my neighbor. Just tripping bro. Yeah. Do something. Flashbang him. Flashbang is astute. Flashbang my neighbor. Just toss one in, that's it. Just secure his house. Give him $10,000 to flashbang my neighbor. Or secure his house, but yo just kick in his door and just fucking secure his house.

Just make sure he has that many fucked up stuff there. So I don't see think he does. Yeah, I mean that's just swatting in it. Yeah, people do that. People do that to online gamers and shit. There's a fucking documentary in it. Yeah, people do that. People do that to online gamers and shit. There's a fucking documentary about it. A guy swatted is like these two dudes were talking shit on Call of Duty. How do you swap one of these video games? You can call the police and say, one dude who swat people, he would be like, I'm calling from inside the house. I'm a hostage.

Oh, no. This is the identity for that. Uh, so you swatted. So this is what happened. The SWAT team went to the so the guy who these guys are talking shit online online gaming. The guys like, this is my address, plus you won't fucking swap me, fuck you. Obviously he gave him his fucking neighbors address. Oh no. So they swat the neighbors. Oh, deal the neighbor. What? Kill this guy. The swat team did yes Any details are just kind of like they it was just probably grabbed a shot

I'm gonna walk down on those porch while that's he was watching he was just hanging out Fucking lights and shit everyone's like don't fuck out of your ass. Oh, no He opened the door like hey, and they just yeah Holy shit, he might have actually just, yeah. Holy shit. He might have actually had a gun, I don't remember. That's our bear attack, by the way. American bear attack. It's like SOS cops are here.

Riot control bust through your window. Fuck the gun. Get on the fucking ground, we heard you're a fucking asshole. Yeah. Yeah. Some 13 year old boy called kind of laughing, saying he was a dentist. Yeah, some kid prank called us, so we're gonna shoot you.

We're gonna kick your window and repel down from your seal. Josh, it's some kid prank called us. So we're gonna shoot you. We're gonna kick your window and we're, we're pelled down from your ceiling. Josh, you seem to know about that. He got 20 years. He only got 20. That kid should be forever. Forever swatted.

Yeah. He got 20, I mean, 20 years in jail, it is an involuntary manslaughter basically. Yeah, it seems almost voluntary. Yeah, well, I mean imagine kids shocked when a killer dude died. You thought, no, that funny. He was being a kind of, he was like bragging about it.

Was he really? Yeah, the kid who did it sucks. What a dumbass. Obviously the kid sucks. Yeah, so he got, I did never, I don't suck that much. I mean, I'm a fan of his. Of his workers, yeah, I don't want him,

he's an internet, he's a true, I'm like a swan. He's a jail, I think think you probably have the internet and Joe. He's probably just swatting like crazy. He was swatting everybody. Once you catch a dub dude, once you catch 20. Yeah, state time dude. Oh my god. He had claimed that he had accidentally shot his father in the head during the argument and that he was gonna shoot the mother to He pretended to be one of the brothers at the house. That was the call. Oh my God, dude. Yeah. Imagine how it was like a call of duty game. Imagine how pissed this while team was. They went in accidentally killed a guy and then we're just kind of like, wait, what? Yeah. There's no idea. They had to sit there and like they had like their intelligence watch like probably

six hours of screen recordings of COD and be like, what, no. Oh my God. No, dude. And the guy being like, stop using the shield, the shield's gay dude. I'm just like, oh my God, we killed a guy, my life's ruined.

Over that. Over the fucking dumbest shit possible. This is the worst audio imaginal. We're like, suck my dick pussy. Yeah, that's just the kids screaming. Yeah, was that the, yeah, exact, was that the guy? No, that wasn't him, sir. Like, which was the guy? Oh. Yeah, be like, suck my dick pussy. You know, yeah. Just kids screaming. Yeah, it was that the exact, it was that the guy. No, that wasn't him, Sir McWitch was the guy. Oh, yeah, that's,

if they saw him like that is pretty lame he's using the shield. Why is he jumping like that? It's not realistic at all. I wish I could utilize jumps in those games. Yeah, slide. Yeah, it's a big one. Yeah, that's it.

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Gomez was nice. When we were peeping him, Gomez was nice. That was very, very fun. He was nasty. I just sat here and watched Lewis Gomez livestream of him playing Lewis Jay Gomez. Lewis Gomez playing Call of Duty. Very fun.

He was good. Yeah. He was very good. That was fun. Is he still locked into, is that bet still going on? Or is it done? I don't know, I'd like to get it going. Next time he does livestream, I'll keep that bet going.

Yeah. I'll give him $500 if he wins. Otherwise he has to show his penis on the next leg. I think he lost that bit though. He did. I mean, I look, I had like fun calls and shit. I was out there for like an hour. I came back and he was still going.

He was like, I have to leave in an hour. I have to pick up my seat. He just played for like three more hours. Yeah. So he is, I mean, obviously he doesn't have the show as penis. This is a funny bet to make. I would like him to show as penis if he loses the next one. Can you, yeah, true.

Yeah, I don't know. Give him one more chance. Because that's like, because I think the problem is that you can get demonetized if you show your penis on on skanks. Oh, and then just blur it. Yeah, they can, yeah, they can live do it on gas digital. You can show penis.

Yeah, okay, that's fair. I can see he'll probably will do. I'm digitally. You can show penis. Yeah, okay. That's fair. Yeah, I can see you'll he'll probably will do I'm sure he's done that before Yeah, probably. I think yeah, I think everyone's penis has been shown. Yeah, so I think it's the right passage I don't know if they ever showed Dave's miss apparently. He's got a big hog really nice Fuck dude the hell people don't think about that with the Titanic Those poor guy they all died with the smallest penises true You know yeah, and they're gonna bring your bodies back to body

Crying your mother would glimpse your fucking My god, he must have such a hard life Life must have been so hard. Oh my god. I never knew was that bad. I know he was a little dick motherfucker I know he was a little dick motherfucker when he came out of me, but I didn't know I was like that. Your mom pimps your hog. She peeps the hog. Right? Everybody peeps the hog.

Baby hog is a world I've, dude, I've talked about before. I'm not sure like when I, like having, I'm kind of glad I have daughters. If I had to like show my naked son to the nurses, I guarantee they could just zero in on the hog and it's me. Yeah, and then be like, yeah, geometry it and go, wait a second, bro. Yeah. That's what you're like, no, I swear to you guys.

It's growing, dude, it's coming. It's not for my side of the family. Yeah. They go. You sure about that, bud? It's got that shot down penis. It's got a little shot down, Dix. It's got a shot down penis.

Yeah, I do worry about that. Is that something to deal with? Like the baby hug? Or is it like the only weird, the very first time he got hard, or I was like, look, he has a boner and she went like that to it. And he made like a little laugh

and I was like, don't ever do that again. Oh, yeah. A little, little itchy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she goes, no, it's really hard. I was like, don't fucking do that. Oh, no, yeah. A little, little painty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she goes, no, it's really hard. I was like, don't fucking do that. Oh, no, Josh. Yeah, I mean, baby butters are always his baby.

He's six months. He got rock hard as a six month year old. Yeah. Doesn't stop, dude. Doesn't even know that it's possible. I never really thought about baby butters like that. Well, I've never thought about baby, oh, but I saw it, you know,

we're changing his diaper. So, yeah, that can be hard. That's usually how they thought it, you know, we're changing this diaper. Oh, for sure. Yeah, that'd get me hard. That's usually how they show a diaper. That's usually how they piss in their own face. If you take off the diaper and they have a boner and they piss. Yep. Piss it up.

So, what if you saw that fucking diverts dream in the morning? You're like, The complex. Yeah, it was just boss baby up to. He was up to, he was up to, he was up to, good. I mean, I'm turn ol' jack you'd have to look to look at your wife like Or the babysitter true. Hopefully God willing. Yeah, yeah, check that nanny cam The funny I have something that could stop everything that would stop everything dude. What? Just any cam of a fucking baby rope

Of a baby-roaming. Yeah, I mean that would be only like CNN It'd be like breaking aliens have actually never mind More pressing matters. Yeah, there's a baby in Texas that can shoot ropes We know because we've seen the nanny camp. Yeah, I mean. Damn, this is good stuff. That is good stuff. Yeah, I have really thought about that.

I'm like, you know, that is kind of like a trolley up to go through before you have a son is like the whole world has basically kind of like your dick in this go. All right, I see what you're working with. You go, can babies even have dongs? Like dongs? There's babies born with, like, I think there's babies born with dongs,

they're sitting on Google. I think, I think, I think, I know I think there are babies that are like, chubbed at a point where the nurses probably laugh, and they're like, whoa, okay. Yeah, he's all proportionally. Yeah, it's all proportional You exactly yeah, and then you got to deal with them just be it quietly being like interesting

You're like not ladies man. He's not gonna be a lady's man. What do you say? Yeah Yeah, I thought about that, but also, you know, I would He's laying in a war make you better so you could fucking yeah face down for a little bit. Make your bro. It's called pressure brother. Yeah, welcome to heaven. Oh, warm. You can be doing this for the next 35 years.

Put him belly down for a second. But yeah, what's better than that when you snuggle into bed start fucking smashing a dick into the mattress a little. Nothing. There's literally nothing better on a winter's night. Yeah. Oh my God. They do it too. Do I? They're women do it too. They're pressure, they're pressure players themselves. That's true. Yeah. Big, they're big pillow pillow has to. They've a lot of women fuck pillows. Yeah, pillow

humbers. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. I mean, dude, you know, they got to do stuff. They get, they get her any as well. Yeah. And I just fucking barely though. Yeah, I mean, dude, you know, they got to do stuff. They get they get her any as well. Yeah, and they're just fucking barely though Yeah, I think they don't know what's going on. They have no clue They don't know what horny is It is crazy when they get horny. That's a wild horniness to just need like a Like a fucking insert. I'm just trying to spray. I like spraying totally chill But if I was like there's a, there's like a vacuance. Yeah. You just look around that, look around the kitchen.

What the fuck can I shove on here? I am incomplete. Yeah. You know, for me, it's like I'm overly complete. I need to get this out here. But it's to be like, I'm lacking. So why have that bean burrito from Taco Bell in the fridge? That is crazy. Yeah, and I lacking some. You go, oh, I have that bean burrito from Taco Bell in the fridge. That is crazy though. That is crazy though. And I can go cream pie. Do you ever do a puzzle and realize you're missing a piece?

Could be that feeling, be like, I know it's around here somewhere. Yeah. That incomplete puzzle feeling, you're like, I just want more peace. Yeah. Could be that. How's your puzzle skills?

I don't know, I haven't done one in a long time. I'm pretty bad. Actually, I had another question for you. I think about this almost every day. I make waffles a lot of days of the week. Do you crush the grid when you butter a waffle or do you delicately spread the butter across the grid and like lift it out of each grid

and try to spread the butter across each grid? I've been meaning to ask you this for like two months now. Yeah. It depends how hungry I am. Do you crush the grid? I sometimes like to take my time and put a little in each little. Yeah, I'm going to enjoy this. Belgium waffle. That's what I was curious about. You talking Egos or? I'm more working with Egos. It was just so fucking good though.

They're crazy. Yeah. But you don't you take you go. Egos I'll hit a spread. Crush the grid. Yeah. That's kind of tight. Yeah. So I was gonna go to the hotel, Belgium waffle. You got to treat that like that. No, no. Yeah. You're a little four-plugged. I can't believe I got done making it. I can't believe I made it without a hitch.

Because there's so many hitches. Yeah, true. You get to the end of beeps, you're like, oh, fuck, how do you open this thing? Spend it around. It's some business woman has to come up and be like, you get it. Like, what the fuck? Thank you, man. Thank you, man. Yeah, I get I get it gunshot on those things man

I've always looked at those like nothing on that. I want to have a not I like this They have an almost here get breakfast buffets. Yeah, dude. It's a fucking powdered eggs that fucking I love those Dude, I think I had breakfast buffets. I might eat two packs of bacon. Yeah, it's like how could you not? Yeah Yeah, but you know breakfast is a sigh, I'm right. So I believe it. They feel it was not a real thing. Like a PR company started the idea of breakfast. It was just like a thing, it was like a branded idea.

Like people weren't eating like eggs and bacon in the morning. It was just a food people would eat. But it became like, no, eggs, bacon, orange juice. This is breakfast. Yeah. This is breakfast. This is the is breakfast. The energy you need. You need to have a sugar crash by lunch. Yeah, it was an app time.

These are breakfast foods. Yeah. It all started with the cereal companies. Cereal companies, like Kellogg's and all of them were like religious fundamentalists. And they said it was like part of like a, I forget. If you look it up, there was like, they like... Pleat and balance breakfast.

Yeah, they built it into like moral, having like a bad moral character. If you weren't eating like, they tied in the idea of a balance breakfast with like moral fortitude And it's just like cereal popped off. Yeah, it's kind of weird. I like it now. I got to eat sugar dog food Reces puffs. Do you know sir? I'll see your fucking devil worship fucking well, I'm going to heaven, bro True, I put in work on the Reese's puffs. Dude, I, dude, those things were, they were, they were, they were, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would Phil's grocery shop and we're talking Kellogg fucking Did you ride along and be like, can I have that? Can I have that? Matt obviously.

What do you think? I had to go put shit back. We'll get to the front. I got to fuck to that kid and get put it back. That was the best living something in just watching it go down the conveyor belt. Like nobody's noticing. Yes, dude.

I just tried to do the candy bars. It's just like the top one on the thing. It has to be like, oatmeal cream pies are coming home. Oh, dude. I just tried to do the candy bars. Yeah, it's like top one on the thing and it's be like oatmeal cream pies are coming home. Oh Yeah, that was nice and riding home the whole time It was like having like a kilo of coke in the car. You're like oh my god. Okay. Okay, I'll carry the groceries I have fucking head stash pop tarts. It's like these are going to right to my room Yeah, that was I was almost punishable by death of, you got called like a head stash,

smores Pop Tarts dude, you, I was, Pop Tarts were fucking unbelievable. They were so good. My friend had a constant flow of smores Pop Tarts at his house. It's not even fair. And Pepsi. Yeah.

Couldn't believe there was soda in the house. Yeah, at all times. Yeah dude, soda houses were pretty good. So the houses were wild. Just non-stop on tap, so. Yeah, dude, soda houses were pretty. So houses a wild just non-stop on tab. So yeah. So Kellogg is the one that started it with a cereal and he said that masturbation was the greatest evil and that eating cornflakes could help prevent that. Yeah, that's what it was. Yeah. You get so full, you'd be like, I don't need a jerk off. No, that's not true. The cornflakes don't make you not want to jerk off. Yeah, I mean, they don't work like that.

But yeah, that guy was, he was on one. That's how he sold it. He's like, stop fucking fapping. Munch, he's like, so flavorless. He could've eaten that. That was a boner killer though. Even munch cornflakes, it does have a castrating effect through just kind of like, what even is

what fucking life is hell? It was this horse food,'m eating yeah those things fucking sucked I try to get into rice crispy treats rice restressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressressress I'd have like a bunch of rice crisps of treats in my house and I would just by hand pull the whole part of the mouth. It's a put of a milk dude. Oh my god. Sounds so good. It is. To this day if I see a pile of rice crisps of treats I go, man I like to take this. Can I take this?

I like to take four others left over. Incredible breakfast. Well yeah, man. When did they stop making rice crisps of treats cereal? I'd like to talk to the guy behind who shut that down. Yeah, true. He was a bomb now. I think it was a bomb now.

Keep it rolling. I think his wife came in and was like, no more you should be a little bomb. I think it was kill of Mike. I think my bomb as wife came in and was like, goddamn kids are two damn fat. Yeah. Shut them down, shut down the fat, dude.

She might have like 2,000 fat kids in Guantanamo Bay to starve it I'm dude. There's there's hot dogs Yeah, 2000 hot dogs It's funny 17 17 Trump let this happen on his watch are present dude. He was never He was so busy. he was so busy though he only do so much that's crazy they fuck so they really did like

dis could it was like a surgeon general thing like yo discontaining these these things are two goddamn delicious maybe we find out this is gotta be like a show stop seeing those things in like 2000 where the fuck were they selling those I don't know. Probably black market, dude. Yeah. Probably like literally. You be looking for the box and be a dude in the backlips. But yeah, dude, the, I think now they're starting to say honey nut Cheerios can't be labeled as healthy. Anything with a

certain amount of sugar, they can't be like, this is healthy. Yeah, it's good for your heart. Yeah, you see candy in the morning. Really? Yeah, they're letting there not a lot. I Yeah, it's good for your heart. Yeah, you can eat candy in the morning. Really? Yeah, they're letting, they're not allowed. I think the guidelines just changed now. Which is like the most obvious sign that there is corruption at the highest level.

It's like you're telling me we just figured out that that's probably not the best food for you. Yeah, there's no way they didn't know that. They banded in Japan. It was wheat thins as well. They said it's carcinogens. Because you can't see. Wheat thins?

As well. Yeah, there's this new one they're putting on this. Wheat thins are bad? Yeah, there's this new ingredient that's getting listed as like a California carcinogen. Like this product is known to contain, I was eating like crackers and I was like, what the fuck?

I'm watching it. Dude, I'm reaching in the vault, but I think it's like a Creelamine or something? A Creelamine is this new one they've come up with. Yeah, what to do? I think it just fucks you up. I don't know. I think they fed a thousand pounds of it to a rat and it's had exploded. I don't know. I don't know what they do.

It's like AC, R, Y, L, M, I, M, I, M, A or something. I like to remember the name and how to spell it,, M, I, N, A, or something. I like to remember the name and how to spell it, but not, you have no concept of what it does. I just go bad. No, I'm not. They're putting a cool mind in stuff. I see that you're like, bad.

I've Googled all this stuff constantly, and I just forget it. I just go, oh, I'm going to remember this. I'm going to remember this. Yeah, it's just like possible, carcinogen. It increases several types of cancers is what it says. There you go. Yeah.

Which causes mutation in the DNA that's cancer, yeah. What the fuck? Yeah, man. Fucking crackers. Fucking crackers. That's goddamn crackers. Crackers, bro. Causing all kinds of crackers.

Crackers are causing cancer. It also attacks the nervous system causes muscle weakness and Anumnes and hands and feet crap. I had a whole bunch of this. What is it in? I don't know, man. It's in like I hate these crackers. I'm I'm thinking of a type of cracker. It's like a gluten-free Cracker I think that gluten-free shit. You're eating it's got French fries, potato chips, crackers, cookies, breakfast cereals. I think it could be a runoff. So everything good. Yeah.

I think it could be a runoff. Like when you fry oil, that's not like a polyunsaturated fat, they turn into like just basically talks like almost they turn into like plastic. Yeah. Cause like saturated fats have like a more stable molecule. So like the gluten free stuff, they're just taking chances. It's not completely science right now, you know? No. It's like the gluten-free stuff. They're just taking chances. You don't have to be science right now, you know?

No, well here's the thing. They add a lot of crap and additives to those things. So then you gotta find, you gotta go through the different layer of like, well what are these ingredients? I've been doing this my whole life. My mom's a health nut. So like, she's like, if you can't pronounce it, don't eat it. So I mean since I was a little, I pick up ingredients

if it's like anything like it. So I don't eat spinach. True. Out of tough time with that word for a while spinach. Yeah, well, you know what happened Spinach by the way, what's that another fucking thing with spinach where spinach actually isn't as high in iron as everybody thinks That was a mistake. They do that. They did they like labeled that spinach has like 50,000 percent of the iron That's what papa I was out there flexing Exactly it's bullshit. It doesn't have, it has a decent amount of iron,

but it's nowhere, the reason it's, so the girl, this is the iron vegetable, is due to like a clerical error that a researcher did. That's awesome. Yeah. And the company was just like, no. It's cool. And they kept it up, and they sold a fuck ton of spinach and put spinach on the map.

You want to get jacked, eat some fucking spinach. And people came out like, that's not true at all. And they're like, show it up. Oh, fuck, dude. You're a spinning cuckst. Dude, we have a cart not true at all. And they're like, shut up. You're spinning, dude, we have a cartoon. I know. You know shit.

But nobody cares. I hear that, but it's still fucking spinach. It makes your forearms big as fuck. It's like, it's kind of good, but it's not. Yeah, the spinach got on the map with a scandal. Apparently,

McDonald's fries has 300 times more than what the US environmental protection agency allows in the glass of water. Oh, that Krillamine. Mm-hmm. Yeah, dude. Yeah, we've been cooking food like morons for a whole lives. Nobody knows.

But you guys are apparently very bad. But yeah, those, uh, those like weird little palm oils and stuff. Apparently when you heat those boys up, like, Chris Goe, it's just, it's just a toxin. Yeah. And it's like, you can just fry them and stuff. But I guess it's the cheapest shit in the world. Yeah. But, you know, you also just eat it and just sayin. Yeah. And it's like you use the fries and stuff, but I guess it's the cheapest shit in the world. Yeah. But you know, you also just eat it and just say whatever. Yeah. But I'd always go back to just

catching animals. Do eating them and getting whatever fucking worms and diseases they have. Yeah, true. Yeah. Heat him up. I mean, dude, I've got on the roll dairy now. I eat, dude, I can't eat, you know, I can't eat. You know, I can't eat. I swear it's by that true. Dude, I was curious because I avoid it like the plague. If I drink like milk, regular milk, instantly I get fucking congested. To the point where I'll get cold.

If I have it more than two days in a row, I'll get what feels like a fucking cold for a couple days. So I was like, let me fuck around, making burgers here. I said, let me fuck around, try this roll, cheddar. Bro, eight two slices of it, not a single burger. Nice. My farts, I'm so of it. Not a single booger. Nice. My farts. Oh, I'm so working on it.

The farts work. Crazy, but that's like, that was the Texas beef. That's fun though. Yeah. I mean, Bro, roll cheddar, roll, sharp cheddar far, dude. The farts obviously were like, like they're loud. Yeah.

Yeah. But yeah, dude, the roll, I sort of got it for, you know, that was kind of like a bit of a revelation to me. I've been locking a cheese monster up within me for years now. It's time to release the cheese. Bro, I had the one night, so maybe that was a fluke, don't go crazy. Obviously I had a burger the next day because I made like seven burgers.

I actually had three burgers yesterday, but you know, two of them were inside, but dude, I had the raw cheddar burger again, right before I came last night, crushed it. That's why you were so sleepy. I had it, had it be done. Eat a burger right before you do stand up. It's just a burger, it's a little. Sleepy time.

There's little burgers, that's it. I got my burger questioned right away too. It was like, you're eating a burger right now and I was like, yeah, I'm hungry. I worked out today. Yeah. I need to fucking prove you're allowed to have a burger, geez. But you're right with the gluten free stuff.

There's a lot of crap in that. I've been going far, you know. There's horse shit and everything now. Searching far and wide, you know what I'm trying. I found them. But when you get this stuff that has no horseshoed in them, it's like, it's like I get these things that are like, they're made out of buckwheat, which is gluten free by the way.

And they're like, this thing, you get a bun like this thing, you toast it, you just munch it up. I love it. You like the way it tastes. Yeah, I just like like having just like almost like a beef jerky for a bond It's a terrible it's like a bad English muffin But either way I'm enough about my fucking bullshit. No, I like it gluten-free's coming for a lot of people dude A lot of people don't see it. It's coming. I more and more people I know are like dude. I it's fucking me up It's like I hope not hope you get away from it, but I'll be here. You don't want that curse on anybody. I wouldn't do although It's nice because you just like you go to parties and you're like I can't eat any of this shit

Yeah, I'd be picking otherwise it'd be three cupcakes four slice of pizza I can never add up a thing about this dude every time I had a fucking family party, I can't eat anything there. Yeah, and you go to a lot of fucking family parties. Absolutely, yeah. There's nine million of you guys. Yeah, so I go to them all the time. Yeah. I can't eat any of the fair.

You jack. I'm doing the math. It's a whole different life dude. Have it's whole other life that like nobody even cares about. I'm at a party, so you want to go, okay, so I can't have them. You got to, I can't even fucking have coke. And they go, that's right. What do you always go, okay, so I can't have them. You know, I can't even fucking have them. And they go, that's right.

What do you have that, that's a shame. Fucking gaze. Is that like corn or something? I go, no, Michael Mike, it's wheat flour, the gluten. Wheat gluten. So it makes everything taste fucking good. And I can't have it. Yeah.

For real, it does. Gluten free pizza. Crud. Some of it's actually nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know it. Yeah, I've had a slice here of gluten actually nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're nice, you know it. Yeah, I've had a slice here of good and free pizza.

Yeah, I found some good ones. You find some good ones. Then you get to the point where you're like, you know, I'm not even, I just, I'm not gonna eat this shit. Yeah. So I'm not gonna eat this shit. I'm sorry.

I'm not fucking crying about my gluten. You know, you're gluten-adjusting. It's very serious. Telling you the thing is coming from people though. Because that's the thing. If you deny it, what can happen is they can start to attack your own body, you have food particles, you're something,

it's called leaky gut and people are like, oh, it's not real, it's fucking real. Your gut can start to become more permeable than it should be. So food particles leave your gut and float around your bloodstream and your immune system starts attacking these food particles and then it turns into like an autoimmune reaction where they can start attacking organs in your body. Damn.

Cause you're eating ingredients. Cause of all the fucking grids. Yeah. And the fucking rice crepes. People get like the thyroid fucking shut down where your immune system just attacks your thyroid. Oh, fuck. Yeah, it's crazy.

Yeah dude, but you know. That's interesting. Yeah. I have to take a piss. Can we pause this for a second? I think we're out of now, are we not? No, almost. We're at 56.

Yes, pause. That's the best. We pause at 56. I gotta with. Come back, crush, we'll come back. We'll come back.