Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)

Episode Date: January 2, 2025

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Chris & Yanni @ https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas Go See them Live too @ https://www.historyhyenasisback.com/ Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Good morning. Happy New Year everybody. Another blessed year. Another hot cast. Biz as usual. Big SG comes back next week, but this week Cusk is joined by the History Hyenas - Chrissy D and Yanni. They're back and better than ever. Support the bros. Please enjoy. God Bless. Download the PrizePicks app or visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED today and use code Drenched to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup

And we are beginning. Thank you guys for coming. God damn, Janice, Poppins, Chris, or Stefano, the history hyenas, dude. Thank you guys for coming. We're here. Thank you. I'm pumped, dude. Thank you. Thanks for having us. And I just want to say, because the last I was on the show a couple of weeks ago, a month ago, Janice, and I just want to say to all your fans out there, say something about my hair now.

Look at my hair now, dude. You guys were talking shit saying I had no hair product in. My hair was flat. what what about now? It looks great right dude now. I look like a 60s crooner and look at Yannis's hair, dude. I look great That looks good. That's painted on yeah looks good. Yeah the wave right so I just want to make sure everybody fucking knows true What's up, and I'd like to say yeah? I'd like to say it's good to be here in Republican Hollywood and yes, the candidate over here and the candidate over here. Yeah, they got bad hair. They're no good for you.

I will make it so barbecue is available for everybody in this city at all times. Yeah. And I just always wanted to stand at a podium and feel like I'm in a primary. It feels good, doesn't it? It feels fucking powerful. I know. I want almost go like, yes, I said, who said? Yes. Yes, I said. who is him? Yes. You feel it now. You feel the fucking dude being white and standing behind this podium is it's got ideas right now. I'm telling you man. I'm not that I've ever agreed with anything that Hitler said and I despise the

Nazis and what they did, but if you just want to AI, listen to Hitler speeches in English and just change out the words from Germany to America in your head, you'll get really pumped up for the day. Yeah. That guy just knew how to light a fire on you, dude. The way that he would speak about Germany was like, I fucking get it, man. Yeah. It was like they tied to their like mythic folklore of like the German here and all that

stuff. And yeah, that would for sure get anyone pumped. He was telling people like, if you die in battle, you're going directly to Valhalla and you're going to ride a val... Like, you know, you're riding like, you know, Eagles there. And it's just like, he was like, you know, Germany, one Germany is verse England right now. Germany's verse Great Britain, you know, at that moment when they're in that war. And he says, we are two superpowers and what the only way to win is one of us is going

to have to be destroyed and it will not be Germany. And the crowd goes nuts. You're fuck yeah dude I started putting on my fucking boots. He has an outfit. He has an outfit. Yeah it is yeah you can always get the devil's dew like everyone's always like he's a fucking failed artist no one liked him it's like people like them. No the kid was a closer I mean he was a headliner you You can't use a guy when he went up, you're like, all right, we should only do another show two days from now.

Yeah, yeah. Let people kind of settle. Yeah. He was talking, I think he gelled the hair, but I think he left the front flap. I think he knew the effectiveness of the flat front. It was a tail fat. And then I always loved when he did that afterwards.

Yeah. When he was just gathering himself and he did that. Smeared it bad. What I like about standing up too is this is a fit city. You could just get your calf raises in while you're... You can, yeah, I'm telling you. And that's why I think he did that afterwards. When he was just gathering himself and he did that. Smeared it bad. What I like about standing up too is this is a fit city. You can just get your calf raises in while you're down. And that's why I think you did it, dude. It's just like a workout. I know, I was tired of sitting around all day.

What's up with all the gay art over here? I just, I thought it was visually striking. This is nice. I had someone, my friend told me about this painting. I'm like, I looked it up. I was like, perfect. I just wanted something kind of intense. Well, I told you, I was telling you on the plane,

he's a guy, he jerks off to erotic poetry, so this kind of goes with it. Which I've started doing now, by the way, because he looks awesome too. So you kind of like us have a little bit of a female brain. Yes. Because you like the imagination. Yeah.

Exactly. Well, you know, that's not uncommon amongst us. We are performers, and here's the thing. If you're a performer and you get into the arts, you at least got nicked. You at least got nicked by the gay gene. You got nicked. Some people get fully clipped like Mateo Lane,

we got nicked. Yes, yeah. We got nicked. That's what gives us our eye. And we all got nicked. We all got nicked and our wives and girls, they all know that we're kind of like out of their friend group.

Like they're like, they're proud of us, but they're like, my husband's kind of gay. And they just accept it. Yeah, dude, it's like embarrassing. I don't know what to do. Like I was talking, just like talking sports. I don't follow it at all. So that it like, it makes me feel really gay

when other men are like, dude, you, blah, blah. And I'm like, I don't care. When you told me that the last time I came on the show, it's something that I swear to God, there's, you know, like, you know, I'm 40 now, you wake up, you have to pee or whatever. And there's been multiple times in the past, like months, since I've been on your show, I've woken up and I'm like,

I can't believe Matt doesn't know anything about sports. I don't know anything. And I've just been thinking about it. Cause you're such a guy who you look at this show, I've woken up and I'm like, I can't believe Matt doesn't know anything about sports. I don't know anything. And I've just been thinking about it because you're such a guy who you look at this guy, you listen to this guy, you're like, he's going to be like an NFL broadcaster. And he doesn't know it. I mean, he has a headset on like Tony Romo right now.

I know, I mean. I love playing sports. I love playing sports. Like I played football, basketball, and I'll still play sports. I just, I can't bear to follow them. I don't care. It's amazing because like you look,

it's funny to see like physically You I like to play sports. God gave you a body for sports, but then this is your brain. Yeah Is a great representation he laughed at us. I think when he made it's a little he's like dude I'm gonna make this matte one. I'm gonna put him outside Philly I'm gonna make him look like an athlete But then I'm just gonna have fucking paint brushes and you know, just gay stuff in his brain. And I think they laugh. Yeah, and right now you do look like a high school

like offensive coordinator with that headset on. I know, I look the part. I look like a cop, I really look like a cop. The only thing you'll be is like Robert Frost's Road Less Traveled is a beautiful poem, guys. I know, I know. But you look like a good cop too. You really do.

I think I would have been a decent cop. You would have been a decent cop, and I think you also would have been a good, you're a really good coach that you would have, if you did fuck around with a kid, it was like in the 80s. Right. Wasn't anything recent. Right.

I hear you saying that. You know what I mean? So like one of those things like you were doing it when everybody was doing it. I was young. No, I was young too. But you kind of had the, you had the thoughts where you, you realized it was wrong in like the 90s.

Right. Which is way ahead of most people. He did it at a time where the parent would have sided with you and not the kid. Yes. Yeah, true. And just like what being a Catholic was. He taught you football. So yes, he was a good guy. Yeah, I went to a basketball camp. It was called Bucky Gill's basketball camp in Chichester, and he

was the coach of the girls high school team. And he got he got around. He was like, apparently like, well, they're in this. This was the rumor, I should say. He was like opening the shower curtain, just like spraying them with soap. He was like back there partying with the girl. Wow, dude.

And then it all we all had his basketball camp shirt. We got everyone went there. But then when he got in trouble for it, we'd all wear the shirt. We thought it was funny. We'd all wear the shirt with girls. But to me, with girls. Are you all right? Yeah, no, I'm Googling this story

that's gonna blow your guys' minds. Okay, yeah. With girls though, with girls, I almost like, obviously it's fucked up, but it's not, it's like, that's rare. It's normally always, it's always boys getting clipped. It's usually always the boys getting clipped. I know.

I was in two situations. I went to Penn State football camp when I was a kid, never got clipped, never saw Jerry Sandusky, but never got clipped. And then there was another guy in Christ the King, basketball coach, Bob Oliva, that also went down for that stuff. And I never got clipped by him.

And I was many, many times in the gym, just him and I, because my mom had to work. So I was the kid that I would get dropped off. My mom would pay extra to drop me off at basketball camp at like 7 a.m., 45 minutes before, because she had to get to work. And it was just him and I, and he never did anything, never clipped me at all.

And I know like the hack joke, what people say is like, oh, what about me? Whatever. Like, you know, but I genuinely had like feelings about it. I was like, am I ugly? Wait a second. Yeah. Like I really would talk to my therapist about it. It's the opposite. I think you're, I think when you're like a Jack strong kid,

they know they're like, no, this kid might be my- Yeah. Well, you know what I think Bob Oliva and these people saw in me, they were like, this guy this kid might be mad. Yeah, well, you know what I think Bob Oliva and these people saw in me? They were like, this guy will kiss me back and that's not what I want. I don't know if this has ever happened on a podcast, but I just realized that I got clipped. When did you get clipped?

You got clipped? I think I just got clipped. When? You started talking and I was like, you got hit? I think I got hit. That's how it works. That's how it works. You don't remember.

Yeah, tell us about it. I gotta brace myself. Tell us about it. Wait, this is the exact position I was in. I think I got banged. Who's how it works, you don't remember. Yeah, tell us about it. I gotta brace myself. Tell us about it. Wait, this is the exact position I was in. I think I got banged. Who'd you get banged out by? Someone made you an artist? I think Saint Xavier's. I think, yeah, somebody turned me into the arts.

No, I'm kidding. But dude, there's this crazy story where my brother went to poly prep, you know, poly prep in Bayridge. Anyone can look up this story. There was this- Brother who was an openly gay man. Openly gay man. Openly gay man.

Openly gay man, big time hot shot attorney, but a full, I mean, as gay as gay, gayer than your painter. Your brother's a gay attorney. Yeah, $3 bill gay. Which is what messes with him because he's got the, you know, his brother got hit hard with, so he's like, how much of this gay gene did I get nicked?

If literal, I came out of the same womb, which might be just a tainted gay womb. Yeah, true, and it's like, were we really wrestling that whole time? Yeah. Yes. So I get his pain. Yeah, what was really happening? But dude, this story is crazy. Philip Foglietta was his name and he was a legendary football

coach at Poly Prep and he molested, he had a legendary program that like they were like incredible. The community supported him What you would call it the mobs what was the mob guy? Oh what John Gotti? No before him John Gotti Phil Costa Paul Castellano before him before call the Gambino's kid. Carlo. Who's the most Italian thing I've ever seen? Yeah. DeFancio's fucking sandwich shop. Italian autism. His son went there and this kid clipped like hundreds of kids.

Really? Hundreds of kids for so long and it finally came out and like so many kids got clipped and it was happening like in front of kids. They had jokes about it but it was just back in that era. But he was like a gangster too? No, he was just a legendary football coach. Oh, I thought you were saying he was part of the mafia. Gambino's son went to that school.

I don't think he got clipped. I thought he was clipping kids and being like, forget about it. He kinda was. He was kind of a cannoli cream. He was like the last guy anyone would expect, but he would take kids and he'd put them in his Cadillac. He did it in the most Italian way.

He'd be like, let's go get some zeppoles, kid. You're a good lineman. And they'd be like, let me see your penis. Yeah, I thought this would help you. You want to start? Yeah, yeah. It happens, too. But what do we think?

Because obviously, you know, the guys, that happens a lot, the Sanduskis of the world, these, the Fogliatters, whatever. But like, women, they, women teachers have sex with this male students, like it's rampant and they get caught all the time. But if you, all you have to do, I encourage you at home, go home and just ask like three or four people

if they know someone and they all know someone who maybe they're having, the woman hasn't gotten arrested, but they know, like I know in high school, my friend banged the teacher, it was confirmed it happened. She never got arrested for it. It never came're having the woman hasn't gotten arrested, but they know. Like I know in high school, my friend banged the teacher. It was confirmed. It happened. She never got arrested for it. It never came out to the public. It never will. But it's so what is that? Do we know why they don't get in trouble?

You're wondering why do they constantly do that? Why are they always hot? Always. So I think it goes down to or comes down to like a lot of women's television is still centered around high school like even like it like, you know, like what uh There's there's always in my opinion a lot of those soaps have like a heavy high school romance element to it, right? Like women constantly watch high schoolers like make out and have sex. It's part of a good call I never thought about that like euphoria that show that was a big one dude

All like the you know fucking all Just all those like soapy dramas a lot of them are yeah center down high school love and that's like a thing for them It's like the the meeting when like a boy and a girl first like they finally kiss and meet Yeah, like their brains like free you don't think it's payback though for like centuries and centuries and centuries of 50 or 40 year old dude just marrying 11 year olds and now girls are finding like, you know what, I'm gonna bang this 16 year old just to pay back what guys have been doing to us for so long. Yeah, like I'm gonna be a pedophile.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's crazy. They came so far that they can be pedophiles. Yeah. Yeah, they just, how you know that we're equal now. Yeah. You think Trump will change the law and just let boys be, have a legal age at like 13

and you can just fucking clip them all day? Like you think- Just for boys? Just for boys. You think Trump will just be like, these kids, these boys really don't give a shit. It's their moms getting in the way. I mean, honestly, if I was 15 and I, if I was 15 and I actually, I'm sorry. No, I lost my virginity at 17, but then I was 17 and banged a woman in her thirties. So that's technically a crime, right? But I don't care. Yeah. She does it. I would never, it would never make a difference to me. But if I was 17 and banged a woman in her 30s, so that's technically a crime, right? But I don't care. And she does it. I would never, it would never make a difference to me. But if I was a girl, I might get older and be like, I got seduced.

Was she a babysitter or a family friend? She was a family friend. That's crazy you knew that. She was a family friend. I might have told you, maybe I told you. She was a family friend. The thing about the women. It was awesome.

Yeah, that's pretty cool. They don't, they always do it like that. They even do it in a woman way like they get to know you first you talk to them Well guys just snatch up and put you in the car women are like yeah, let's see you're my I'm gonna give you Spanish lessons after class Yeah, yeah, you're my little buddy. Yeah, do it a little more emotionally Yeah, but that's the thing though the problem is as then as a 17 year old you can get like sucked into like adult kind of Dynasties, you know get like sucked into like adult kind of dynamics. Like, you know, say she's cheating on her husband. That's like a crazy thing to get a kid in the middle of.

That's right. Although to be fair, I don't know. Would you rather if you were to be cuckolded, would you rather it be like a young like boy? No, I'd like to be a black guy with a big dick. Yeah. You just want to go straight. No, I just wanted to know that it's and I'll give it to her. I'll be like, I get I get what you need. Yeah. The rest of that whole film Do you know the myth of the black guys with the big dick? Do you know where that comes from? The black guy from their dicks

Well, no Yeah, the biggest things I've seen her it's fucking crazy Can you cackle that yeah Yeah, play it. Put a mute over that. Yeah, Tim Fudd, big dicks. He named a real guy. I named a real guy with a fucking dick. I mean, if you saw this thing, you're going, what is a mutant, what is this?

Big cocks. Dead tails from the locker room? Yes. I know dude, the locker room for me, I went to an old boy Catholic high school and I remember like the boy, you know, obviously the players, like everyone going in there butt naked and I would go in with bathing suit shorts on cause you know, I'm feeling embarrassed. But then I remember the older kids would be like, take off, obviously the players, like everyone going in there butt naked, and I would go in with bathing suit shorts on because, you know, I'm so embarrassed.

But then I remember the older kids would be like, take off the bathing suit shorts. What are you fucking gay? I'm like, isn't it gayer if my dick and balls are out with the rest of you? But the black, but the black dick thing. So supposedly, supposedly I think this, I think this might have been like 1600s, late 1600s when like the first waves of like African slaves started to come over, the men, the white men were so scared that they were going to, because they were how muscular they were, that their wives were just going to bang them left and right.

They said that their dicks were so big, but it was a negative thing back then. Like they're going to kill you and you're going to get killed by them. Like that's a weapon. And so then, but then it became like, we want the big dick, but back then the big dick was frowned upon. Yeah, in ancient Greece it was a bad thing. In ancient Greece, if you had like a real small, just flaccid penis, people would be like,

what an astonishing man. I got so nervous. That's why these sculptures, medieval sculptures, are all little flaccid penises, cause that was beautiful. Yeah, you were smart. I got so scared just watching him at that podium when he said African slaves,

I was like, I hope this finishes good Just the podium is just kind of like you're going alright Let's just it's such a funny thing to be like for those huge muscular exotic guys. Yeah. Well, trust me. They got huge dicks Yeah, Maggie some guy raised like his point of ale like I got it I know but dude it turns out that they do they They do. I mean, not all of them, but the ones that are big are like big. And like the Chinese guys, I mean, we've all seen the porn. It's just some of it is genetic. No, you could look this up. The science, though, says as far as like penis length, the African

culture, black people in general don't have bigger dicks than anybody else. Wow. If you look at the science. So there's condom studies, they release the data and it wasn't the average It wasn't as big as you would thought in terms of like compared It's not they just had a couple of your own average in inches But I think they're outliers do I think they kind of right? I don't know It's also crazy to be white and have like a huge credit. Yeah. Yeah, I have something unsettling about that Yeah, I remember like when you know, Pete David's it reduced. I remember like when Pete Davidson got really, really,

you would get it reduced? You'd get a reduction? I would take it right back to where I'm at now. I'd be like, this is crazy. I remember when Pete Davidson got like, you know, like really famous and started to like blow up and everyone was saying how big of a dick he has, whatever. And then like all these comedians were like making TikToks,

be like, dude, I could confirm, I saw it. I started comedy with him. I was like, he started comedy when he was 16. Yeah. Yeah, what? What happened there? Yeah, I knew he started comedy when he was 16. Yeah. What? What happened there? Yeah. I knew him way back in most famous.

I can confirm that cock, dude. I saw it in high school, bro. I'm in my 40s. It was big when he was 12. Yeah. I didn't know people did that. That's crazy. It was crazy.

I was literally seeing people be like, stop. Don't phrase it like that. Yeah. Say it like I saw it a week ago. But you said when we did a road gig together and he just pulled it out, I'm like, yeah, dude, the kid started at 16. His mom used to call me and make sure

that he was like being okay on the road because he was a child. Yeah, you had to be like, dude, his dick's huge. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, Mrs. Davidson, he's funny. His dick's wrapped around my neck, though. How do we stop this? Do I have to feed it? It is funny to ride the wave of like just someone else's dick.

He's been like, yeah, I've saw it and you can catch me on the road at. Yeah, just put your dates across the shaft of his dick of the pick you have from when he's 18. Yeah, for your dick to get like a legend of its own must be kind of cool. Oh yeah, I mean, his has it. I mean, no doubt about his has it.

But my neck, you ready for this? My call though, my next call for that, just the new absolute coxman is going to be marcelo From from uh, I think marcelo is the next coxman big he's like the latino pat pete davidson Yeah, imagine pete all the power pete has but on top of that you're fucking latino unstoppable Yeah, how do you stop that although pete's vague ethnicity is kind of powerful as well. That's true too Because you're like you don't know what that guy. You're like, yeah, whatever, man. Could be black.

He looks like a black guy who bleached his skin. He does. He looks like Sammy Sosa. Yeah. He's just a white guy. Yeah, he's just a white guy. Dude, he's a fireman's son. He's like, as white as he's yet.

White working class as he's yet. But he does have a black face. Yeah. And he's got the cock to match. Supposedly. Yeah. Allegedly does. Yeah.

It's definitely not small. No way. I mean, it's definitely not small. No way. It's definitely not. It made it to the halls of Kardashian. Yeah. That's a big, that's just, that pool party must be crazy.

There's a certain length to get into that party that's been established as a precedent that was set that he had to meet, he had to meet, yeah. Yeah, you gotta have a dick that size, you have to have 50 Bitcoin. One or the other. Yeah. Kim Kardashian, you know when you go on the rides,

your kid goes to a ride and the ride says you got to be this tall. And Kim Kardashian just goes and measures your dick. You can come in. You got to be this digital scale. Yeah. But it's crazy because like I'm like, you know, as men's minds, like I think we all still think in our minds like, oh, maybe one day we can hook up with Kim Kardashian, too, even though we have no chance

and no desire to. I saw her in real life one time. Which it was just happenstance. She's way shorter than you think, but it was real. It was like, I went, oh, yeah. Like I was stunned. Dude, I felt that way. Two weeks ago, I did a show at Lucali's Pizzeria, a very famous pizzeria in Brooklyn, some of the best pizza in probably the best pizza in New York.

And besides Joe and John's, my local pizzeria, shout out Ridgewood Queens, baby. But Anne Hathaway was in the second row of the show. And when I tell you, the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen in my life, besides of course my girlfriend, and obviously she's way hotter, duh. But Anne Hathaway was literally to the point where I would do a joke. I would be like, you know, she was sitting over here and I'd be like scanning the room and I'd do a joke and I'd hit the punchline and I would, you know, like people would be laughing

and I would slowly go like this and just make, like almost like a, is she laughing? And there was a couple of times I saw her laugh and I swear to God, dude, I got butterflies in my heart. I was like, oh my God. And then you have this fantasy, like she's gonna come out here and be like, you know, you were so great.

Like, why don't we just like, why don't you talk to your wife and I'll talk to my husband. You and I could just be together and they'll allow it and we could just be together and it would be great. We could do movies together, but like our wives and husbands don't care

and they're actually cheering us. Yeah, they're supporting us. Yeah, and then, you know, and then I just drive home and then you're like depressed that like she didn't, you know, DM you. Check your DMs. And then you're like, fuck man, I guess I suck. Do you remember when we were in that sushi.

She's probably thinking about you right now. 100% do you. She's probably watching our show, History Hyenas. Yeah, she probably is. She's probably a big fan. She's probably on the Patreon. She's probably on the Patreon, you never know. Do you remember when we were in that sushi restaurant

in LA with Tim Dillon? Oh yes, yes, this is a great story dude. So Emma Stone was in there and she went to the bathroom. And. No but wait, but you're missing a key part. Let me just set this up. We're in this very famous sushi restaurant with Tim. It's me, Yanni, and Tim Dillon.

And Tim Dillon, 20 minutes before, is telling us how much Emma Stone hates him. Oh, that's right. He's telling us Emma Stone despises him. And me and Yannis are listening, but we're kind of be like, maybe Tim's just making it a bigger deal, maybe Emma Stone, like, there's no way that Emma Stone hates him.

And we were like, maybe Emma Stone doesn't even know who any of us are. We don't know, but we were like, whatever. And then go ahead. And then she was in the restaurant. Like in a movie, 20 minutes later, actual Emma Stone walks in and yeah. Yeah, and I think she came in for,

this was my like serendipitous moment. She came in, because I think she's the most gorgeous thing in the world, I love how big her eyes are. I like pale women, except for my wife. My wife's the most beautiful half Italian, half Greek. But she went to the- Pure smoke show, Mrs. Pappas. She went to the bathroom.

She went to the bathroom and I just saw it as an opportunity to be in the bathroom after Emma Stone. Oh. So she went to the bathroom, came out, and then I went to the bathroom and I did not sniff her seat. You did, for sure. I did not, but I did sit down and pee I did not. But I did sit down and pee. That's perfect.

I did sit down and pee. Yeah. Dude, that's so nice. And then also, that's not creepy, right? No. But any guy would have done that. Dude, I mean, how was it? You would have done that, right?

100%. Yeah. You can't stand to pee. Was she just a little bit cooler than like the average person? It just smelled so good in there. That's great. I just remember how good the bathroom smelled.

She just ravaged the bathroom. And I just sat and I was like, this is just where Emma Stone pe there. Yeah. I just remember how good the bathroom smelled. She just ravaged the bathroom. And I just sat, and I was like, this is just where Emma Stone peed. And it felt great. But Emma then. Did she flush? That'd be nice if you peed on her pee. That would have been next level.

That would have been incredible. Imagine she shit in the sink. How great would that have been? You just thought it was a turd in the sink. But she walked past us and was like, holy shit, Emma Stone. And then she came back the other. Because Tim was sitting with his back to us. But then when she came back out of the bathroom, she walked and us and was like, holy shit, Emma Stone. And then she came back the other, cause Tim was sitting with his back to us. But then when she came back out of the bathroom,

she walked and looked at Tim and I saw her go, ugh, like that, so it confirmed everything he said. It could have just been the way- I was like, she does hate him, which is awesome. It could have been just the way he was eating, just like, ah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah. What was her beef? Why the fuck would she eat it?

Something with Tim, you know, cause Tim's hilarious. I think Tim fucked- Your husband. Yes, Tim fucked this, what happened. No, Tim's hilarious on social media. And I think he was tweeting Tim, you know, cuz Tim's hilarious your husband. Yes No, Tim's hilarious on social media and I think he was tweeting like, you know Hilarious shit, but maybe like shitting on Emma Stone movie, you know It happens, you know, this which just makes me think about celebrity. Is it worth it to just like, you know, Emma Stone the poor girl She just went into the bathroom to take a piss and then yeah this guy that went in there and just sat down and beat After yeah, I'm telling it on a big podcast. I'm sorry I'm a stone.

I'm sorry I did that. You did nothing wrong. I did nothing wrong, I don't think. It's not sitting to do it. I didn't feel a hot lady's body heat on the toilet. Yeah, but it's creepy a little bit. I'm sorry I'm taking it on my phone. I just want to make sure my hair's still good

because these fans are just fucking unbelievable. Your hair looks great, good. All right, we're good, dude. It's not creepy. You guys can't stop me. I don't think it's creepy. What I want to do is hang an ornament right off that Christopher Reeves curl.

Just right there. That would be actually really nice. What do you think of that? That's nice. What I want to do is hang an ornament right off that Christopher Reeves curl. Just right there. That would be actually really nice. What do you think of that? That's nice. That'd be really nice. Just a mistletoe. Yeah, just put it right there and get some right on the fucking mouth.

Hold on, here, here, I just, by the way, I just looked out my phone to like, you know, like see my hair and then I just looked at like a quick text and I have a special coming out for Hulu in February and I just got a text from like the person who like runs it like, hey, we really need to have a special coming out for Hulu in February. And I just got a text from like the person who like runs it, like, hey, we really need to have a conversation. So just call me when you can. I'm like, here we go.

It's over, baby. It's over. There it is, folks. And it's gone. Yeah, just like the way, you know, I just think it's done now. So this will be a fun next 30 minutes for me to just know it's done.

Just waiting, just, and then calling her and then her not calling me back for a week. That would have been weird if it was Emma Stone who texted you. Imagine. Whoa. That would have been. Yeah. I so I want to. That's that's very funny. It's funny. Have to sit with that for the next half an hour. Yeah, just deal with it. Here's my thing. I don't think it's that crazy. That's like that's like a mercy because it's creepy.

Would have been like waiting right by the door to try to do like a rom-com like oh Sorry, oh my god like oh crazy. Yeah. I'm y'all do I know you? Yeah She probably gets people that like want to take pieces of her hair her skin if the worst thing about you She you want to sniff her toilet seat after she goes to the bathroom She might be like we can actually go on dates. I didn't see it. Not sniff not sniff feel the warmth Feel the warmth of her body. I'm gonna done the same as what you're saying? Yeah. We're going to waste it. You know, like, look, that's her body. Yeah. It's going to just fade up or you can just enjoy it before it gets like inducted back up.

There's no rule against it. I have to go to the bathroom and it happens to be Emma Stone and I want to just sit in your body heat. I'll do that. And you didn't like jerk off. No, but I mean, even if he would have, it's his. It's he. I didn't do anything. Yeah, it's his space.

But I didn't do anything. But I have not bade the bottom half of my body since. Yeah. So just, she's with me. I don't know what it is. That's creepy. She's with me. Yeah.

I mean, you did absorb her body heat. Part of her does live inside of you. I mean, I do hang out outside her house a lot and take photos, but that's a different thing. That's public property, you know. Girls love that stuff, man. Yeah, I'm happy that you said that. They do.

Because girls, as much as like the world we live in we're like do not objectify me feminism They want you to tell them how hot they are at all times And you want they you love it. They'll be like that's so weird But if they like say they took a dump and it kind of stinks if you just stood in the bathroom You're like they're like oh my god get out of here. Yeah, I fucking love that Yeah, dude, whatever if you know when I wake love that. I fucking love it. I fucking love that shit. Dude, when I wake up next to my girl, if she's like, I try to kiss her good morning,

she's like, no, stop, she has morning breath, and I just fucking burrow in there like a gopher. She loves it. Yeah, dude, they love that shit. It's a thin line between complimenting them and creepiness. It's a thin line. Well, there's actual stench in the stink of men and women. I think there's actual, what's the term for aphrodisiac?

Pheromones. There's actual pheromones in that. Correct answer. Yeah, pheromones. Yeah, boom, 200. I don't know why your thing went off. You're talking bullshit. I think that's a fact.

I think that's what we call on the history of India is a truth bait or Ginsburg. There's pheromones inside stench that actual, like you're supposed to have stinky sex. I think so that sex That's just something Jim Norton told you because he likes to get shit on his yeah That's what Jim Norton told me after he was like just drink this no I agree if I still to this day if I smell Like like when women put on no women put on deodorant But their body odor still comes through a little bit that smell drives me like I love I love a girl with

Pits mouth. It's a little bit fucking little bit through the deodorant. It's just like fuck. I love that Do you like a girl with a little bit of fumes? Yeah, I honestly don't mind it. Yeah, I don't mind a little bit Yeah fumes are you talking about coming off the box? Yeah, a little fumes It depends on the fumes. I prefer not, here's the thing, I can take if it's like pungent, but just like kind of like bold spices, but if there's the fish smell. Yeah, can't do it.

Can't do that, man. But there are girls, what we say on our show is there are girls that we call swim throughs, where you will swim through, they're so hot, where you will swim through fumes just to bang that. Like if Kim Kardashian had fumes, she'd be considered a swim through. Yeah. She'd be considered a swim through for Rome.

Meaning what we mean by that is you'd swim through her fumes just to bang her out. And then for Rome, meaning if we were living in ancient society, she would be taken for the Roman Empire, ripped away from her mom and dad and she would be part of the harem of King Giannis. That's how hot she is. That's what it would be.

Of Emperor Giannis, yeah. You probably fixed, that'd be nice to like take a girl like that and then fix her fumes. Back in Roman times, yeah, now. But in Roman times, and that was chilled. And be like, dude like that and then fix her fumes back in Roman times right now But in Roman times and that was chilled and they didn't want to fix your few dude in Roman times That was a real worry like you It's like a shop in Rome and fix your few ground from the ground dude in Roman times That was a real worry like magic being a father

And you know your daughter's like 16 and a smoke sure you're like this girl's gonna get taken for Rome The Emperor's gonna come and take her when they come to our town. They're going to take her for the hermit. I can't do anything. Yeah. And that's just what I know for a fact. If I was an emperor, that's just unfortunately, that's what I would do. Yeah. Well, I would just roll around my chariot and go, do you think? But back then, I think it was kind of like if your daughters got snatched up by an emperor, you'd be like, fuck yeah, dude.

Yeah. High five your wife. And we fucking did it. Well, they did. If they snatched you up, according to the to the research we've done, if they've snatched up your daughter for Rome Which is a real thing you would you would get a tax break. So it's like, you know We're actual yeah, you don't have to fucking hit taxes that year cuz we took your kid. So what do you do? Yeah, do it. Not bad. Yeah, right off. That's a really that's a really great Republican platform. Yeah Yeah, you guys want lower taxes. Give me your daughter dude

I think Olympic athletes at wind gold medal should get no pay, no taxes. They should. I think I think that's because you're not going to get any money. So my thing is like if you win the gold medal for us, no taxes. I like that idea. Right. And you're on a podium. I think it's great. That's it. Right. Yeah. I didn't realize they get fucked over so bad. Hell yeah. Spend your whole life doing that.

And then it's just like then they don't give a fuck about silver medal. I guess you can start like your own type of lessons back home. You got to be like a super, like Simone Biles gets money. Yes. Michael Phelps got real money. Whoever gets the bronze medals and work there until he's not. And it's so impressive. You're like, you know, you're like the third best person in the world. It's like, yeah, dude, they should. You're right. They shouldn't pay taxes. Hell, yeah, dude. That's my and then I military shouldn't pay taxes. Yeah. And I think if you did the right thing in November, you shouldn't pay taxes. Hell should, dude. That's my, and then I, military shouldn't pay taxes, dude. And I think if you did the right thing in November,

you shouldn't pay taxes. And I did the right thing. Yeah. My opponent here, he thinks nobody should pay taxes. I believe that the government should pay for gender reassignment surgery. That's my position. That's what it is, yeah.

Yanni goes left. Yanni goes left. I think that's my position. Gender reassignment. Dude, we met our driver yesterday. So you can have something to jerk off to. Yeah. Dude, our driver yesterday. I saw that clip my position gender reassignment dude we met with our driver. You can have something to jerk off to yeah Good our driver. You saw that clip. Yeah. Yeah, and ain't nothing wrong with it. I'm off the porn. I'm off the board Yeah, ain't nothing wrong with it. Not at all. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes you just look and you go I'm fooled

I'm fooled sometimes a guy in a wig you just go you know what I'm full Tony man It's like you watch the porn and it's just like it just starts to be like yeah You watch it so much and you're like, what's this? And it's just a new thing. Well, it's disassociation. Like the honest was telling me yesterday, he was like, you're dis... And then you start to think about,

how come my wife doesn't look like that? Why don't we do that? And then you start to think, where's your penis, baby? I said it to her a few times. Here's the eternal question. What would you rather do? So if you had to have sex with a like a straight up, you know Buck Angel?

Sure. Like a dude with a pussy or a lady with a dick. Who would you rather? Tranny. Yeah, I mean can I do it quicker? Yeah, it's crazy. It's a weird, it's a mindbender. I'll even go one further, like a hot, beautiful tranny

with a great personality, because it's not all about the physical for every woman. Or like a butchie lesbian, or Roseanne O'Donnell. Trance. Yeah, the trance. You wouldn't take down like a stud? And I or Roseanne O'Donnell, trans. I'm going trans. You wouldn't take down like a stud. And I'll just pretend if we're having sex that my penis was so big it popped out the other side.

Right. So all you gotta do is use your imagination. Well we watched a science video about the neuroscience of the brain. We watched this a few years ago where they said actual from a scientific point of view, the highest climax, the best orgasm a man can have is when they're watching

transgender porn because the number one things, the one and two things that men are attracted to, most men are big boobs and a big dick. So even- That is the thing, yeah. And that's heterosexual men. We're not talking about gay men, we're talking- I know.

Because a heterosexual man, even if it's not transgender porn, will fast forward subconsciously if the man's penis is not big enough while they're watching it because we mirror everything. So a big penis and big boobs, theoretically, would get the most excitement from the male brain. And that's a transgender person.

And that's another truth baiter Ginsburg. That's a truth baiter Ginsburg. It's subconscious and it's just the way it is. And the truth is that gay guys don't watch that. They don't like it. They don't. Some of it's impressive. You're going like, It's almost like impressive.

It's like when you see like when a Puerto Rican soups up a car, you're going like, look what they did with that fucking Honda. The ground effects. Yeah, you're like going, this was a guy. Look at the rims he put on that. Look at those fucking rims he put on that body. You're not gay.

I think we sit and think a lot we're gay and that's why it's great to be in comedy and have gay friends because I've asked Mateo Lane multiple times, am I gay? And he said, no, you're not gay, you're we're gay and that's why it's great to be in comedy and have gay friends, because I've asked Mateo Lane multiple times, am I gay? And he said, no, you're not gay, you're just feminine. But that's not gay.

It's not gay. You're more like a woman than a man, but you're not attracted to men. And that's because you really don't know, man, as your brain starts to develop, you're like, I don't know, because I will not immediately push a handsome man out of my brain if he pops in while I'm masturbating,

I'll let him hang out a little bit. But that's just being a more of a woman, not a gay man. Because we said it many times, and Giannis is the one who discovered this, that I like to, I fall in love with men, but I have sex with women. And that's just who I am. But that's not gay, according to Matteo, who I would say is like, I mean, he's the top gay. And they can tell. If you're gay, they can look at you and be like, I mean, but Chris did try to crawl in my bed last night. I did. He just does. Because I just got a little freaked out because my TV wasn't working. I don't like sleeping in the dark.

So I just knocked on Yannis' door and I said, can I just fucking post up in here? Just chill. Yeah, yeah. But I couldn't. But then I couldn't because his feet smelled so bad. So I just had to. I'd rather sleep with the fear of Ted Bundy popping out of a closet and smell his feet. Well, that was your hetero kicking in being like, just the smell was off. You're like, what the fuck am I going to get out of here? I got to get out of here, too.

Because if I was a real gay guy, then I would have just fucking went in and tried to wash. You would have washed his feet. Yeah, 100% dude. It's nice. Made it work for me. Yeah, it's a quiet, slow blow job. But you're a big fan of history. Yeah, just a quiet, slow one.

That one made me like, I felt that one. A quiet, slow blow job to your male friend. Like that literally like That one made me like, I felt that one. A quiet slow blow job to your male friend, like that literally like, it actually made me like pause. Like we're fucking around, but that one I have to be like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's like, like you grab onto the podium like, holy shit, Matt went crazy just now. The quiet and slow is gayer than the blow job.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah dude, if you would have been like, oh, a teethy blow job, I'd be like, ah, yeah, man. But quiet and slow, can man me one. Like, yeah, that one, like, that's another one. I'll just probably think about that now. He's like, what the fuck are you doing, man? You're going to get a text from me like 4 AM, quiet and slow? Question mark.

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Will Patrick Mahomes pass more than 1.5 TDs? Hmm, cook up hot takes with your friends and win real money this football season When you and your crew run your game on prize picks I mean Man Patrick Mahomes throwing those 1.5 TDs hmm. I think he might be able to do it Download the price picks app today and use code drenched to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup That's code drenched on the prize picks app to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup prize picks Run your game now. Let's get back to the show also guys before we do Happy New Year by the way Happy New Year and With the New Year. I am glad to announce we're out of the podcasting desert man. We're after this week

business as motherfucking usual. Thank you guys for You know trudging through the podcasting desert with me. It was it was interesting and you know, like I said before it was a crucible situation And a crew and in a crucible you are Steel is melted down and reforged into sometimes a stronger, sometimes a weaker shape. But I'm excited to announce that anyway. I don't know. I'm very tired.

I stayed up late last night and now I have to do advertisements. Let's get back to the show. But yeah, we talk about this all the time and you love history too. On our show we talk about when you look back at history at all the empires, just the top guys like the vicero's and the emperors and all that. They just engaged. They took whatever was on the table, men, women, eunuchs, boys.

And like they were the toughest dudes. Like Alexander the Great was like the most masculine guy. And that guy had a straight up boyfriend. Yes. He had boys. Yeah. And he had a but an actual like lover that was his I can't remember his name I forget some Greek Greek. Yes, it was a battle boy. Yeah boy. Yeah

Yeah, but it was no he had one guy that was like his 13 year like partner and when I died He made it like a holiday. Yeah quieted He was like it was like a net he was like he was beside himself damn And yeah, I think he just was in a great depression because he was in love with a guy. There were no labels back then though. That's the thing. It's like you being gay or straight was irrelevant. They didn't care about that.

It was like, it was more of like, do you love your country and want to fight in war or not? But you being gay, they were like, we don't, that's not, everybody's banging guys, girls, animals. It doesn't matter. So now, because dude, even like the label of being gay, that's like 150, 200 years old, even in Abraham Lincoln's time, nobody cared that the guy, who was it, the guy before him,

James Buchanan, he was like known gay, never had a wife. They used to call him, they used to call his like guy that was always with them. I think they used to call him like Aunt Nancy or something like that, which is like a gay term back then. But like the people didn't care. His political opponents didn't slander him with that because they were like, nobody cares about this. Yeah, that's kind of wild. So it only came later in life like, oh, being gay was taboo.

Well, it's crazy too that, you know, if you think about how strong gay must be to like fight through like biblical, like the Bible belt stuff. And I'm sure in medieval Christianity, it was probably kind of frowned upon. Oh yeah. Like heavily, yeah. Impure, you even, I'm sure in medieval Christianity, it was probably kind of frowned upon. Oh yeah. Like heavily, heavily.

Impured, you know, pure, pure in times. Gay just like kept bubbling under the surface and eventually was like, ugh! Yeah. We're fucking gay! The whole society had to be like, all right, our bad. We're trying to. It's a strong, strong driving force.

Listen to this, like people are like, oh, Pete, Pete Budachick. Pete Budachick, should we say Pete likes it in the Budachich? Yeah, he does yeah he does unfortunately I don't know why his political opponents like if he ever went up against Trump I trumped out what's what Trump should say he likes it in the Buddha check that would go viral he's gonna watch us take that yeah but my point you can take it dude people think that's so shocking that you never a presidential candidate who was gay but

when you look back at the Roman Empire Tra Trajan was a full gay dude, and he was like the best Roman. He was like one of the ones by historians that's considered to be like one of the best emperors, and he was just a gay guy. He wasn't even into like, I'm gonna marry my horse, or you know, he was just loved that. I love him. He was a gay guy. And the clarity must be amazing to like not be just kind of like dealing with like a Lady like if you're a gay like and women are like well, you're just like I for real not doing this We're immersed in like yeah, you know, we're immersed in women's thoughts. If you're a wife and you're a straight guy It's just like you're constantly just dealing with just whatever, you know, it's just a minor problem And if you're a gay guy that imagine if those problems never cross your radar. Yeah, I think I didn't eat

Oh, you know, you have to be like you can get a lot done problem that if you're a gay guy that imagine if those problems never cross your radar. Yeah, I think I didn't eat Oh, you know, you have to be like you can get a lot done Yeah, you can really crush you could look at Michelangelo and you're like that guy got a lot done cuz he didn't have Yeah, like people with smaller brains Yeah Yeah Bill Burr has like a good bit like paraphrasing about like if you see like a lesbian of 35 year old lesbian in a bar Who's married in a 35 year old married guy at a bar straight guy?

They have the same look like they're both Angry pissed off, but then a 35 year old gay guy like he was like have you ever seen a sad gay man? And it's the truth you have never seen us. Oh, there's just always having fun like the party There's also there is actually a kind of a dark element to just like we used to do a comedy show in a gay bar Right and they were so mean to the female comics. Good. Oh, yeah, they are. Fucking ruthless. It like the lady was on.

They'd be like, boo, honey, you stink. Yeah. Yeah. Ruthless. They can get kind of nasty. Yeah, they can get really nasty. You know what I just thought of? You know, it's really funny to think about Michelangelo, fully gay guy. Sure.

Painted the Sistine Chapel. All the people that come in and pray like hate homosexuals, but like the biggest Christian icon in the world was made by a flaming three dollar bill. I think that that's like kind of poetic justice for the gay community. It's also, imagine him just drawing all those beautiful baby penises too. Yeah, you need it, you need the master. Yeah. Like do you think after he sculpted David when he just that cuz that penis is like remarkably small He knew it like this That is a good point you bring up it's mostly baby penis that he's was painting yeah, yeah, and all the popes came in

They're like fucking perfect By some powerful do with a small dick and he was like everyone's dick's gonna be small yeah I don't want anyone to see because people probably saw each other's dicks all the time they only had togas on so when they sat down I mean they didn't have underwear yet no and you had to live communally a lot a lot of people people just lived in the same one big room so this whole taboo of like sex is in private wasn't really a big thing back then. Like kids would watch their parents have sex

as if they would watch a guy work out or whatever. They were like, it's just, we all live amongst each other. Yeah, get out of the way. Yeah, you ever see how they shit in those old Roman latrines where it was just like, they all shit together. It was public toilets and they would hang out and it was social for them.

They'd shit next to each other. What about toilet paper? What would they use? That's the thing. I think they used water. They used all really just wash your ass with some water. They used leaves. I think they use water. They didn't have it back then. Even the hair of a eunuch. Medieval London was the same. If you had to take a shit, you were supposed to like walk out of town and like shit off the bridge and it would just fall in the river. Yeah. But if

you like got caught dumping your thing, they would like really fuck you up. Yeah, they would the Fucking the butchers too would just throw entrails out in the street every day So you'd walk and there's be like, yeah, I think fucking animal carcasses Manhattan. Yeah that that famous like Lake member down Oh, yeah, the old Manhattan. Yes. Yeah collect pond. Yeah, that's what it was called collect Oh, I do all the butchers, all the waste, human waste. Gangs of New York time. Yeah, Gangs of New York time. It was just this disgusting lake

that had all the waste from animals and butchers. They would do it. It just, yeah. We always say history stank. I mean, it just, you can smell, when you think about what history must have smelled like, it was Teddy Roosevelt who was the have smelled like it just started Teddy Roosevelt Who was the one that changed it all Teddy Roosevelt instituted like the sanitation department and we come guys dressed in all white like we

Gotta clean this up because dude the idea of like a germ being discovered that that was the Louis Pasteur that wasn't that long No, you know who actually discovered germs before Pasteur. There was a guy He was a doctor in like I don't I forget where he was somewhere in like maybe Belgium or somewhere. And they were doing this thing I was just talking about this last night. They so back then they would deliver the babies, you know, a lot of babies died. So like there was like where they put the dead babies was really close to where they delivered babies. So doctors would be handling dead babies constantly. Like, all right, here you go. And they're like, all right, let me deliver this baby. So they're transferring like dead fetus germs to living feet.

And it was killing 50% of the babies. And then this one doctor was like, dude, I think there's stuff getting on our hands from these dead babies. And he started washing his hands with a solution of whatever chemicals. And the infant mortality rate went down to only 7% of the babies were dying or whatever. And then he tried to tell the other doctors about it. And they only like, you know, seven percent of the babies were dying.

Interesting. And then he tried to tell the other doctors about it. And they were like, nonsense. We're doctors and doctors are gentlemen and gentlemen are always clean. And then they like told this guy he was crazy. He went into insane asylum and he died. Yeah. And they eventually figured out like, fuck. He was true. He was totally right.

Infant mortality rate, you know, like when people, you know, you think like, oh, from the fifteen hundred, sixteen hundreds, oh, we would have been dead by 35, 40, but that's not true. Like all, like Benjamin Franklin, these guys lived to their 70s and 80s. It was the, it would say life expectancy of a male back then was whatever, 45, but it's because of the infant mortality rate. That's what science doesn't tell you. Right. Because so many babies were dying at one minute old that it brings your average down.

But if you passed, if you passed childhood, most likely you were going to live to your 70s and 80s like we are today. That's crazy. We don't live much longer. It's just we don't die as babies as much because back then no processed food, working with your hands out in the sun, all those things. That makes sense. Yeah. Crazy, because I've been thinking about that nonstop being like, damn, if it was like 200 years ago, I'd have been dead.

Like, no, most likely. And you might have died as a child if somebody put some dead baby for sure Die of like you know viruses germ yeah A lot of you know a lot of wives died in childbirth Yeah, it was really normal to have like three wives just from like your first two dying Yeah, right the week definitely still kind of got you know It was more animalistic in the way that you know know, if you were at a weak immune system, you were going to go. Yeah. You're out nowadays. You know, there's a lot of weak people walking around. Yeah. Myself included. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine trying to talk to like, you know, somebody in the 1700s about your mental health. Yeah. As a

guy, they'd be like, what is the British coming? Yeah. What are you talking about? Yeah. Yeah. Stab you with a bayonet. I think it was improper to even like bring it up. I think you had like a couple, although I did like the letters people wrote each other in history. That's something we got to start back up. Yeah, beautiful. Beautiful letters. Long letters to each other instead of calling depression, depression. They said I'm suffering from melancholia. Yeah, beautiful. Yeah, it's awesome. They did better.

Nobody nobody has a better joke about that than Greg Geraldo. You ever see that Greg Geraldo joke? He's like back in day would be like some soldier would be like, dearest Martha, I miss, please kiss the children on the forehead and your visage, I miss your visage with every battle. And then now he goes, the letter's now like, dear Marie, don't fuck nobody. Yeah, I'll be back.

Yeah, it's changed, yeah. Yeah, it kind of sucks. I mean, do Josephine's and Napoleon's letters are, I mean, talk about stench, Napoleon is saying, I can't wait to smell your bush. You said get your pubes, like basically paraphrasing, but he said, I want your pubes when I get there, I want your bush as big as possible,

and I don't want you to take a shower. And he would come in, Feralyn, he needed to bang her out with like a full, the stinkiest pussy she could possibly have so she would not bathe. Like if she knew he was coming, she wouldn't bathe for like five, six days and just let the bush go. Cause that's what he wanted.

Wild boy right there. Look up, if you're into that, look up the letters between Josephine and Napoleon. They are wild. Just totally horny letters. Like wild dude. Damn, requesting the big stinky bush is like pretty out. He wanted it.

He wanted it big time. I want to. Yeah, I want that thing lost. Yes. He wanted it, dude. And that's just how he's, you know, guys in the top always have some peculiarity about them. Yeah, for sure. And here's the thing about a point. He actually wasn't that much of a squeak.

He wasn't that squeak as a little guy under five, six. Cause everybody was kind of short. He was like five, seven or eight. He wasn't that squeak as a little guy under five, six. Yeah, because everybody was kind of short back then. He was like five, seven, or eight. You know what that was, right? It was British misinformation. The British did that on purpose. There was a writer, I'm blanking on his name, but he wrote when the British were fighting the French that let's make Napoleon, because nobody really knew back then, let's just do

all these political cartoons of him being really short. So it's not like he was over like George Washington was legit six five Yeah, he was tall Lincoln was tall but Napoleon wasn't tall like that, but he just was a normal height So this whole idea of like Napoleon complex is there's truth in that but he didn't suffer from it because he wasn't short enough He was an average height that guy bullshit. Yeah, dude fucking pulls Let you know man, like a lot of stuff in history is just not true It's just misinformation Even even what fake news it's fake news that Trump's not wrong with that even he really did blow it off

I mean, I remember watching the news when I was like 20 but I was oh I was always like very stoned all the time and I was like dude This shit is fucking fake Yeah But then I would still like read the headlines and like there's got to be some modicum of truth to it And then like he really did blow the lid off that dude's like oh shit. We are being all lied to Yeah, I read this book. I read 1776 and then this book the British are coming and they basically were saying that even the Declaration of Independence

That was all made up by the founding fathers. They created this idea of like, oh, we want to be free from the British and independence. But like that wasn't when the revolutionary war started, it was all they want. All the people were saying was we just want to be taxed. If we're going to be taxed, we just want to be represented in parliament. That's it. Because we don't want the British to leave. Because if you think about, put yourself in the mind of a colonist back then, besides like a select few, like wild Patriots, but most of the colonists- Hold up, I just got instantly racist. Yeah. Yeah.

Get in there. He's like, oh yeah, okay. Put your mind in it as colonists. You go sit over there and don't talk. Yeah, sorry. Get some guys in chains. I was just listening to your instruction. Yeah, yeah.

I watched this Mexican do it. Yeah, sorry. They didn't even know what that was back then. Sorry, Jesus. Look at this dirty Irish mick. They're all drunk. Drunk. Sorry. You'd rather go outside and handle business. Oh wait, I'm hating myself, you dirty fucking that. Jesus. Look at this dirty Irish Mick. They're all drunk. Drunk. Sorry. You have to go outside and yeah.

Oh, I'm hate myself. You dirty fucking Greek. Yeah. Greek shit. But you white Edward. Sorry. Yeah, it's OK. I put myself in the mind of a colonial. That's what it is. He just got the super stream. Yeah, there was a time you'd look at him.

If you were back then, he's fucking dirty Irish. They were the most racist against the Irish. Pretty bad in New York? They're bad. They were terrible though You read about like what they were up to you. I got this guy's must have been fucking terrible Oh god, I was reading uh, I was reading Angela's ashes and like it's so sad the first chapter Just like the author introduces his family His little sister dies just like in a stroller by herself at nighttime the family's like they're just all devastated So they go back to Ireland and they're on a boat the moms on the boat She's pregnant again, and she gets sick and as they're looking at the Statue of Liberty. She's explaining it to her family

She's like I look how beautiful this is and then she goes oh and threw up And it is the vomit just missed it in the wind just went on all the other passengers And they're all like you fuck. God damn it lady it Yeah, fuck you. He just watched seagulls eat his mom's mom and as they like Beautiful it's kind of beautiful. Yeah, but it was the spray of just be like oh there's a Crushing all the passengers dude. So these colonies they would the the declaration that they you know, they just wanted to be taxed, right? They just want to be taxed, right? They just wanted to be represented by parliament. But back then they were like, if you were a 13, if you were a colonist, you had, you wanted the British because you had to the North, the French, who at that

point wasn't on your side and they would kill you and take your land. And then to the South, Spain, who definitely didn't like you. And then to the West, Native Americans who absolutely despised you. And the only thing stopping those three people from coming to kill you were the British. Oh wow. Because they were like, we're one of the Brit- you do not fuck with Britain, that's a British subject. So, but then the wars going on, you know, 1775 whatever, all the soldiers, they did nine months, but they were like, dude we gotta go home, we're gonna lose to these British fucks. We gotta go home because we got our farms, we to take care of our farms. Our wives are dying. Who knows?

We have to go back. And they just started leaving in droves. So Washington, Thomas Paine, common sense, was like a pamphlet, like the first viral thing that ever happened. George Washington told Thomas Paine, dude, you're like a great writer. Why don't you make up? Can you make up something to galvanize these guys to come back? So they came up with, what if we change this messaging from taxation without representation to let's be free from the

tyrannical Brits. Let's just be free from these fuckers. Don't you hate them? And then that messaging started to get into people's minds. And then next thing you know, they're fighting the British and they're like, this is not even what we wanted, but we just believe the fake news. And then obviously, as you know, Benjamin Franklin had to go over to Paris and bang some of King Louis' concubines to get in Louis' ear. And then he convinced fucking, he convinced the French to get into the war because the French hate the British more than anybody. And then we won.

But that was not, so it was fake news. That's what these books said. Really? Yeah. And that was the last time the French were tough. Yes. That was the end. Dude, they got the last time the French were tough. Yes. Yeah. They got fucking steamrolled in World War II. Big role.

We got to talk about that for another day. But the French got absolutely fucking field goal kicked in World War II. And they were the number one seed. They were the number one army in the world. But they would always bankrupt themselves. That was a problem. Everything I've heard about French history is them being like, all right, how much money do we have? Like nothing.

Yeah. Fuck, dude. And another damn it. Another fun fact, history with the French the French like Dunkirk when they got like steamrolled and Dunkirk We almost lost everything whatever I read something that said one of the main one of the of course Germany was of this crazy Army on a mission whatever but Hitler would not allow the German soldiers to get prostitutes Or if you if you got caught masturbating or drinking you could take the Ponzer chocolate, which was crystal meth. So they allowed meth, but no banging prostitutes and no masturbating and no alcohol because he wanted like a fucking tip top army where the French were encouraging prostitution and were encouraging you to like be free, sexually free.

And supposedly there was sexual STDs running rampant through the French army those last six months before the Nazis took over them. And these guys were like fighting with like active chlamydia and VD where the Germans were just coming in fully loaded cocks on crystal meth, ready to steamroll. And that's like a big part of like why they just beat the shit out of everybody.

But then as the war went on, the crystal meth, obviously you can't take that for so long. Then even Hitler, you started to go nuts. It's just like rock and roll. They had better drugs. Yeah, true. The guys in the best bands had better drugs. Dude, having like meth psychosis in like World War II as like a Nazi soldier must have been... Dude, imagine coming out of that. A lot of Nazi soldiers killed themselves when they got back to Germany because they were like, not only does the world hate us, but like, I didn't want to do

this. I was on meth and I killed all these people and did all this shit and I'm done. And then they killed themselves. Yeah. I don't think to do this. I was on meth and I killed all these people and did all this shit and I'm done. And then they killed themselves. Yeah, I don't think you could, I think you can't do war without drugs. You have to be on the little. Yeah, I think so. I think you're just ripping at it now. Yeah, I kind of agree with that.

You gotta be a real psychopath to just go sober. Sober? Yeah. It's hard to do like stand up without alcohol drinks. It'd be funny, a guy facing death, he's like, no dude, I got 13 days sober, you guys drink. Dude, I mean, this is what it's like. We're going to die. What do you think this is? This is drugs dude this is I'm on using a drug right

now yeah I needed it today really but yeah I think a lot of it too is just nicotine I think they're just crushing fucking nicotine pouches yeah everything probably like 500 milligrams of caffeine today yeah that's it there's I there's a nice story about World War two nothing that would chill them out that's for sure no what they weren't sitting there micro dosing mushrooms When they get back a lot of them do actually but yeah that one they're there but the there was a story I read about World War two where the I Think the Nazis were in Italy I think at some point and they were like they came to the bridge, you know Dante's whatever inferno

Sure so it was the bridge from the book where he first laid eyes upon Beatrice before she died and there's an actual bridge there in Italy and the Nazis they could have blown the bridge up to keep like the Americans whoever like off their ass. So they radioed. They had some sort of communication. They were like look we won't blow up Dante's bridge where he saw Beatrice is such a beautiful place. You guys got a promise to like a 20 minute timeout and they're like all right and the Americans chilled for like 20 minutes really let them cross the bridge and they didn't blow it up. And then they used

it 20 minutes later and like pursued them. Wow. It was just like a weird moment in the middle of, in the middle of like war where they're like, dude, that fucking, well, that's like world war one. You ever seen that story about the French and the British on Christmas day? They're sitting there in the trenches. They they're there for a year. They had each side has moved up like 50 yards max. They're in there. There was no man's land. It was called, where like, you know, it was all like, you know, mines and everybody would just die there. So Christmas, I forgot which side,

but one of them basically called a timeout and they all went out to no man's land and had Christmas dinner together, drinking, eating. And then they went back December 26 and started killing each other again. What the fuck? It's a fascinating thing in World War I. Christmas dinner.

Yeah. It's gotta be so nice. Yeah, just hang out. You're like, this is just in regular guy. I don't dinner. Yeah. It's got to be so nice. Yeah. Just hang out. You're like, this is just a regular guy. I don't hate this guy. Shoot him the next day. And the next day you're just blowing his foot. Yeah. Just lets you know how big propaganda is and where you need it.

Like you just need it to be like, look at these dirty jobs. So you just need it. Otherwise, guys are going, why am I killing these? You're committing mass murder. So yeah, you have to. Or you didn't even bang your girl or like, I know. Get get the get the TV show you wanted. It is. Yeah.

It's a weird on and off switch because in the society- No reason to kill this guy. No, in society you have to control murder. Then every now and again, you got to be like, you know who kind of sucks actually? What if we just killed that whole country and everyone's like, you're so fucking- Well, like the Japanese, like the emperor was just like, guys, if you fly your planes into the sides of this, fly your planes into the sides of this, the, you know, fly your planes into the sides

of the American boats, I can personally, I'm the emperor, dude, I can, I guarantee you're getting into heaven, you can have whatever you want. They're like, yeah, I just did it. But that emperor is like, fucking dude, I don't know. Yeah. You know, they, our politicians know our weakness.

All you gotta do is like a little fake attack on us. Yeah. A little something like, and that gets us. Pearl Harbor, 9-11, we'll attack anyway. They'll be like, we're going to this country, they didn't have anything to do, and they're like, just fucking kill people. One of our boats, yeah, one of our fucking boats. Nobody was like, wait a second, why are we going to Iraq?

Everyone was just like, go, go. That was a total green light. Everyone thinks we're gonna, I've heard people I should say who think we're gonna go to war with China, that's inevitable. That was a total green light. Everyone thinks we're going to, I've heard people, I should say, who think we're going to go to war with China. Like that's inevitable. Yeah. Well, they're flying their drones right now over my house. Yeah.

Dude, honestly, dude, who is that? What is going on? I don't know. If I was the president, I would just go to war with Portland. Yeah. Portland would be nice. I would just say, get these guys out of here. Dude, my theory is World War III, if we were all being smart,

we should stop fighting kind of like between countries and have just all attack the oldest, like the elderly. Yeah. Right. Just plunder the elderly. Get them out of here. Cross the world, kick them out of here. If you gotta get your bloodthirst. Yeah, exactly.

We all plunder, we all make a deal. Like, look, let's just use all these advanced technologies we've created to like, absolutely plunder the elderly. Do you think we're gonna come together as a planet and fight whoever's controlling the drones? Like these drone things? You think like the aliens, you think we're gonna come together as a planet and fight whoever's controlling the drones like this these drone things you think Like the aliens you think the alien invasion this project blue light or beam light whatever I don't know beam I've heard everyone say I think it's called blue blue blue beam blue beam blue beam

Yeah, where it's like, you know that and like where the countries are staging It alien attack and they're gonna say that these drones are we're gonna get attacked by aliens and come together against a common good That would be great I've heard that I've heard that theory common enemy They're gonna use it to do like a one world government situation you think so I mean yeah people get mad I always say this but I do think like it that kind of set up or that I don't know man I don't know if we'll always be countries or if that unification will ever happen where we're like because I mean they have the EU now Right so all to take is like the US and I don't know. People get really whacked out about it.

You got to unite people with it. It's too many languages, dude. It always has language, religion. Yeah, true. But what should we go with? We go English one, Chinese two. I mean, what do you want to go three? The most beautiful ones. English, Spanish, French. Chinese is out.

Chinese out. Let them learn French. Yeah, you don't want to be like, I don't want to. Yeah, they can do it. They can do it. They're smartest people. Smartest humans. Let's just be honest. Ashkenazi Jews. Yeah. Romance languages are the best sounding languages when you don't speak of they are. I'd like to speak that they are pleasant.

Yeah. When I hear Hebrew, I'm like, I don't want to speak that language. It's harsh. Yeah. When I went to Sicily, dude, I was fucking rock hard. 24 hours a day. Oh, yeah. Listen to people speak French is French as well, man. I've always done. I'm like the French accent kills me. Yeah. I'd love to also say, yeah, it's seen people speak. Yeah. French as well, man. I've always done, I'm like, the French accent kills me. Yeah, I'd love to fucking French. Yeah, it's funny.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. But yeah, I don't know. I mean, here's the thing. If that happened, even if they staged a fake alien attack and we got to be like with like Russia, like, come on, brother. Let's shoot down these fucking aliens. That would be fun.

That would be. How much better than COVID would that be? Being like, we're fighting the aliens together. We'd lose so quick if it was a real thing though. Yeah. I mean dudes that can come here like light years. I know. And we'd be done. Pow, pow.

That's what our guns would sound like to them. Pow. Yeah. Pow. And they'd just be like. Well this is my argument for that. If you're able to get to that level of technology, I do think there's a good chance

that you would have worked out the weird interpersonal kinks that would make you like a weird Kind of like yeah domineering war right they may look at us like cattle though and be like, you know They may look at us like ants or some but like not even have that compassion because they're like look at these stupid That's true. Yeah, they're like doing podcasts. They're talking. Yeah, they're probably digging the cast. They probably yeah I think so. Yeah Yeah This thing that they like if you could hear if they're probably smart

Imagine if you could like just watch ants and like get a full in-depth look into like what they're saying Yeah, I don't think that I don't think the drones are sniffing for nukes though that was a big theory to me Yeah, I said it's newt sniffers and even if they are I don't think the drones will I don't think the nuke will go off Because it's in America. I think the nuke will go off because it's in America. I think the nuke knows like I'm home. This is where it created me. I can't tell my father. I think the nuke will do a quick scan

and say there's not enough Japanese people here. I can't go off unless there's a certain percentage. It's like, yeah, yeah. Just kidding around. They don't have a way of judging. I'm just kidding around. Yeah, we're just joking. It's a character piece.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's probably AI now. It's probably full, the nuke's probably conscious. It's like, oh, I don't wanna do this. Yeah, but, yeah, I know it's probably full the nukes probably conscious. It's like no I don't want to do this Yeah, like, you know, you know, we it was created here. So like the new kind of knows like what do they think the drone? Yeah, they think they're gonna set off the nuke or something They think the drone sniffing for the nuke where it is where it is to find it. Okay So the issue is the nuclear weapons now supposedly are Have more power power than Hiroshima and they can be fit in a suitcase

I've heard that's the issue. Yeah. Yeah, so yeah, I mean dude I I don't know I I had a I had a guy on recently He did a James Fox he did like multiple documentaries on uaps and UFOs and stuff and he's like, I mean, he's totally convinced He's like dude, we've been contacted multiple times, but I don't know. I don actually what the fuck you're gonna. Do it's like if you're worried about an alien invasion It's like bro. You're totally parallel. I have no fear of that for some reason. I have zero even nuclear nuclear war I'm kind of like whatever yeah, I just don't worry about it. I'm like dude. I don't know I was like it's gonna happen. Hope it doesn't happen, but you know I'm not gonna be like hey guys knock it off Yeah, you should really rethink this

But it's like it would suck if it didn't if it was like it Put us in like the wasteland scenario, but then it's like we get to all do now, so it's like Yeah, then the whole world just look like 6th Street. Yeah You know their practice This is why we come to Austin do we're practicing for the new world what a dump at night that Street is yeah That's why we come to Austin. We're practicing for the new world. What a dump at night that street is. Yeah.

That'll be huge. If we somehow, if they can use the aliens to make us somehow like all disarm our nuclear weapons, but like no one's gonna wanna do it first. You know what would happen though? The aliens would have us disarm the nuclear weapons and then we would just go back to medieval warfare like 20 years later.

We would just start attacking the regular way, which that would suck. Yeah, no, we could still we could still drop big bombs. They just go, OK, but just no nukes. But when you're like murdering each other, you're going to get the edge. It's like it's a catchy thing. Yeah. Yeah, because they say aliens only started showing up after the first nuke went off. There were no alien sightings before 1940.

That's what the guy James Fox was saying. It was like they're very draw. A lot of the sightings around military stuff have always been and Then I was like what if it's just like super advanced technology. They're not talking about he's like I mean even that is like a whole thing In itself, he's like it could be but right. Yeah, I mean Bob Lazar I believe that guy Bob Lazar saw all that stuff years ago. I was telling everyone about it They're claiming they can do like full speed right angle turns just like would you like that? Yeah, he said there was a pilot that like saws like a silver kind of like almost like cylinder object just buzzing around

and he like did a nosedive to come down to see what it was and he said the thing spiraled up towards him and then when he kind of like he like tried to contain it it just was gone and then he they had like a latitude longitude he was like when he got to the latitude longitude it was just there just like waiting for him. Rogan just posted yesterday on his Instagram to explain this footage. And it was like this unedited footage.

And it's just two orbs that just happened, I guess, last night. And just the way they shoot off into space is not anything. Rogan's saying this is unedited footage. This is real. Yeah, the problem is, well, there's like two things. You could fake that so easy. You could fake that. But there's all these high-level military guys coming out, being like, well, there's like two things is you could fake that so easy. You could fake that.

But there's always like high level military guys coming out being like, no, for real. I saw it. So why would they risk their day? Either don't care about us. They're like, they're looking at us like we would look at answering like, what do we care? Or they're jerking off to us. That's because think about it, when you jerk up to something shameful and then you just jet, you like leave like so maybe they're just taking it out there, wanking out. And then they're and then their commander is like, like where were you and like he clears the search history

Yeah, the ones who die are like the people who get caught like auto erotic is fixed. Yeah Yeah, dude, he's other jerking off. Yeah Yeah, because it's the only thing they common and they bounce so what are they doing? What are they doing man? Oh, I don't know. They're either totally disinterested or it's a fetish. It's a kink for them. Yeah, or like I said, I just, you know, I hold out hope being like, dude, if you get that advance, you must, like, there's no way you get that advance when you're still like kind of self-destructive and all that.

I think they might be pretty chill. Yeah. Right. I think one of the big things they probably, to get that advance, I think they have no shame because I think the thing that holds humans back is shame. Yeah. Shame. It's like all our anger comes from shame

and it's all projected out. Yeah, but shame's pretty good though. Because it keeps, like you should have a sense of like if you do a certain thing, there's gonna be a bad feeling accompanying it. Yeah. If I went home and like blew my dog and just like took a walk, that's a problem for society.

I need to be like what the fuck am I? Solid, solid point. It's a good point. Solid point. Shame's not a bad thing. What I said was wrong because you just made a solid point. You need it, dude. Shame is a good thing. I mean, it's like the beginnings of your conscience. It's just your conscience, but it's like if you kind of get carried away with it, you can burden yourself with it. But like having no shame is not good. Not good. People might go far in life with no shame, but it's not good. It's not good. It's not good Yeah, you gotta have a balance you gotta be like turn off the shame for certain things Yeah

And then but then turn it back on when you're gonna blow your dog or We're gonna just you know, take a kid into a fucking harem and drink their blood you want to turn the shame off for that Yeah Just slow blow you want to turn the shit? Yeah, you want to turn the shame all the way up at a party And then you want to just turn it off when you're fucking hitting the stage. Yeah Yeah Yeah, damn dude the slow the slow blow It's really dude. It's just gonna be quiet a quiet slow blow job to a male friend

There's gonna be something that I might I might honestly bring it up on Rogan You love that. What man? What the fuck you talking about? Yeah, yeah. I remember the last time I went on I was saying how attracted I was to this trans actress on the show Baby Reindeer and thinking like he was going to be like, you know, back and forth and he just went, ugh, it's disgusting. And then he just started talking about alligators and I was fucked. Once you hear fuck, dude.

Yeah, dude. Whenever I've done that show, once he starts talking about grizzly bears, I know I'm bombing. You're done. You're bombing. You're bombing. It's like, you know what, man? You just got to cook it before trigonosis sets in, man.

Fuck. And I'm like, OK, I'm boring you. Yeah. So that's the sign. Yeah. It is, for real, dude. I'm like, being genuine, his ability to sit there for three hours and talk.

It's uncanny. It's crazy. I don't know anyone else who can do it. I can feel an hour in me and I go, I've hit an hour and I start going. All right. And he does that, by the way, three times a week. It's not like he does it once a week. Yeah.

I for it's for real. Like it's pretty nuts. He's such a busy guy. I think that's how he schedules in his socializing. It's a good move. He's so busy, man. It's good. After you podcast a lot, it does kind of suck when you socialize.

You're like, dude, I should be getting paid for this. Why am I wasting my time? Yeah, I'm like, why am I giving gems to these people at dinner when I could just be doing that on Patreon? I'm out with my neighbors. I could just be man on the street right now. Generating content. Yeah.

I mean, dude, we were filming, we were literally talking to our driver yesterday because he was like a liberal guy from Texas. So we were like going crazy. We couldn't believe that we finally met one, whatever. And he was like an older guy and we're having fun, whatever, talking. And we were recording the whole thing. But I was like, oh, this would be good on Patreon.

And then at the end, when he's dropping us off, you know, he says like the address of where we are. And then Yann is like, oh, we probably shouldn't post that dude. He just said the address. And the guy was like, are you recording me? And then I slowly put that, I was like, no, no, no, no, no. But it's fun, the last address and the guy was like, are you recording me? But it's fun the last bit because you're recording you can see that

We've already posted that Yeah, this is doing Veritas on yeah, we're like that's actually like a crime, but we're just willing to do it If you give us $5 a month No, it's like investigative journalism project Veritas. Yeah, dude shit was awesome Awesome when they got guys being just give a guy one Martini, and he'd be like, you know fuck I'm so fucking horny dude all this stuff Did you see those videos yeah, I don't know I think so. They are real dude If you get a guy you can crush like dude if you like just go on like LinkedIn profiles and just have like a hot

Shake back. I'd love to come out and talk to you just go on like LinkedIn profiles and just have like a hot shake. Be like, I'd love to come out and talk to you. They're like, oh, yeah. And like, dude, we're fucking we're like making up half these fucking. And it was just like there's a guy he claimed that they were making variants that they could get ahead of them so they could create vaccines for ones they made up. But here's the he valid. He said that's so they're like wild.

Covid's out there and they're like, well, what if we made a thing like it? Got the vaccine for it. And then that way, we're already ready if something like that strikes. But to Chris's point, this is why I don't think it's real. And it's probably like a set up like you're going to be this guy because it is illegal. So like if that really happened, the guy would be like get in trouble. It's a great area with the journalists, though, I think journalists can do that somehow. I don't know.

Maybe it's illegal and maybe they're actively suing them, but the whole, it's out anyway and maybe eventually they'll take it down. But maybe they're willing to suck to take the lawsuit on the chin. Yeah, yeah. Just to say it. It's a weird criminal offense though, isn't it? I don't know if it's criminal. I don't know.

I don't know. That's a good question because I know you can't record a phone call without the other person's consent. Right. So I would assume that it would be a person. Which I've also done a bunch of times. Yeah. I just posted it. Yeah.

Yeah, it's fun. But you can, yeah, I don't know, man. It's a weird gray area, because I feel like journalists have to be able to do that. Like whistleblowers and shit do it all the time. I think probably if you do it, then maybe you, maybe you, I don't know anything, but maybe you can. Dude, the laws are like, what, like if you've any law,

like if you've ever, when you're single, if you've ever when you're single if you've ever Like paid for a girl's uber to come over to your house, and then you guys have had sex you go over home You've technically sex trafficked her true like that's all real it is no, but yeah, but you have to trick her you have to be Like yeah, which I know that is there is some trickery there always I guess yeah, I mean like let's watch a movie We're not really I don't want to watch the movie. Yeah. Yeah, that's true I think though the problem becomes if she comes over and you bang her and then other guys come over and bang Or do you see that shit in France? Yeah, we were watching on the plane We couldn't hear what what's the thing 50 guys are going down for I think a guy was just kind of like like this is

What did he was getting accused of with Cassie or cat whatever name is Cassidy? Yeah, saying like he would just be like imagine took your wife out to a nice dinner Then like when you got home you you're like, surprise, babe. And there was just like four dudes there. She's like, I don't really feel like it. He's like, no, it's going down. And he would just have her get allegedly have her get kind of banged out. Wow. And I think the French guy was going ham with it.

Same setup where he'd be like, surprise. And it was just like four of his four dudes. I'm not going to say his bros. I don't know if there is bros or not, but it would be like four or five dudes would just. Yeah. Run banging out his wife. Yeah, just it was like apparently 50 dudes got caught He's a real wealthy like celebrity in France. I guess oh, yeah, which is the craziest thing to get caught with Yeah, the human brain is wild. Is it why yeah, man? It's fucked up. That's such a that's such a wild one though, man Yeah, they go you're not gonna fuck me all right

Just have like dudes come through or they get off on it watching dudes kind of yeah comfortably bang their wife Yeah, it's a weird thing. We got weird things. It's crazy, bro. I got something never me, bro I would be so mad no I would yeah Third guy big what the fuck am I doing this is yeah, oh take three yeah By the third you're like wait. This wasn't a good idea. Yeah, I was fine with the first two Crazy's for you and 50 people all go down together for that that was that trial must have been crazy. Yeah, they're all going down, too Yeah, yeah, what is French? Jail even like though you think it's even not big of a deal probably cigarettes baguettes. Yeah true

I it's probably fresh for jails probably in the gay sex service probably has that probably awesome. deal. Probably cigarettes, baguettes. Yeah, true. It's probably, French jails probably, the gay sex service probably has that French. It's probably awesome. Well, it's loving. Yeah, it probably is. Like, well, some boo. Yeah, that's, I don't know, man. The French jail probably actually does suck.

Yeah. I mean, all jails. I mean, yeah. But I wonder if the food might be all right. The food's probably better than most. If you're a criminal, just take a flight to Norway and commit a crime and then just live brave. No, no no no death penalty

No life in prison most of your prison time is on a farm dude I saw I saw a documentary about that they have like guitars and shit. They have like music rooms You can just go play. It's a kind of a good idea Yeah, it's like kind of like hanging out like a rec room of a luxury condo building like yeah Just got everything you want you're chilling that wouldn't be bad. No not at all Yeah, you can do a pretty sick crime You can like crash a car into someone's house something like, you know crazy Look back that guy in Norway who like like killed all those school kids like that awful thing

He's just he's gonna get out of jail. Is he really in a fucking open-air jail? I don't think he's ever gonna get out but the laws are that he should but they keep finding. Oh, okay All right, so I miss but it's funny because technically he would get out But because of what he did they keep finding loopholes to keep him in there because their own laws by their own laws, right? They're all about rehabilitation and yeah, let's just send him to Guantanamo. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, he shouldn't be there like doing like fucking he's probably getting emails and stuff Yeah, so that guy should be locked up dude I mean prisoners have Instagram in the U.S.

like they're all they know. They're listening to pods. I know. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But yeah, where are we at time wise? I don't want to keep you guys up. All right. Let's get some breakfast. Yeah. Let's fucking eat some breakfast. Thank you guys, dude. Thank you.

Oh, by the way, January 18th, we're doing our first live history hyena show at the Lincoln Theater in Washington, D.C. Yeah, dude, we're doing it, baby. Two days before the inauguration. So get down there. Yeah, that that's gonna be awesome. Get tickets at historyhyenasisback.com, christycomedy.com or yannispeppascomedy.com Yeah. Thank you guys. Thank you brother. Hell yeah.