Mayday Plays - Mall Goths Vs. Visigoths
Episode Date: March 4, 2021Zakiya leads the crew through a wacky mall inhabited by edgy teens and bygone time-traveling barbarians. Music and Sound by Syrinscape. syrinscape.com/?maydayroleplay Because Epic Games Need Epic So...und
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I hate that your tail is wagging so much.
I just can't look at it.
Okay.
I am recording you Zoom.
Okay.
Here we go.
We're good?
Oh.
All right.
We good.
Okay.
I love you all.
Here we go.
Love you.
All right.
Hello and welcome to the Visigoths for Small Goths one shot.
I am Zikia.
I am your mall rat.
You're with me.
It's my favorite folks.
We're going to get into introduction.
Introduction soon.
But first I wanted to give a thank you to Lucian Khan.
He's the amazing creator behind this game and all of the many,
many hands that went into making it.
This is amazing.
I've been wanting to play this for a while now.
So I guess here we go.
We don't have to introduce ourselves because we've been here gang.
Okay.
Is there any other business?
This isn't a meeting, but.
Let's just go in.
Okay.
Let's go.
Yes.
Okay.
Okay.
So it is May.
1990.
2000.
And yes.
And the Montclair Plaza is an indoor shopping mall insulated with
suburb.
It is the place to be.
At least for all of you.
Because it is spring.
Almost the end of the year for you teens.
Tensions have been high in the hallways of the mall.
Mall Goths year.
The appearance of Visigoths through a crack in time earlier this year has
escalated from a pleasantly spooky phenomenon to a pain in your
leather studded side.
This is your turf after all.
And you'll be damned if you have to share it with anyone else.
There's already enough posers here.
And.
It's a bit too much.
But.
Visigoths.
Your sudden arrival has been met with reluctance from.
The.
Center of culture that has proved way more helpful in the schooling
you've all been forced to take part in.
Until you can find a way back.
This is your sanctuary.
Or at least you want it to be.
Now the summer is coming, which means it's time to decide who really
runs this place for the next four months.
Things have been too quiet in the Plaza until now.
So.
We begin.
It's Saturday morning.
Each gang.
Both of mall Goths.
Filled around your respective.
Three dimensional computers.
After an afternoon of surfing a web.
On opposite sides of floppy Joe's cyber cafe.
Known for its cayenne chili and equally spicy cayenne colored
keyboards.
You scoot your black metal stools closer to the computer screen.
Can I.
Have everyone give a brief description of themselves and sort of
introduce.
Interact as much as you want.
Let's have Eli go first.
My name is bliss.
I am.
I'm a Goth.
I'm all got.
I have.
Bangs.
Choker.
And black shirt.
And.
And all attitude.
Wonderful.
Surge.
You're next.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
So.
P.
Oh.
Surge at your next.
Hi guys.
I'm playing Lenore.
I'm a level 16 theater tech.
I am also mall goth and I'm definitely dressed like goth punk.
Lenore is actually a very like thin small frame kind of mousy
girl.
But she has fishnet everything.
Like green nails and like a lot of her hair is like dyed green.
And if she put her hair up, you'd see that like she shaved
everything.
From like the sides.
But she's got like this long black hair that kind of covers it to
look, you know, more respectable around the normies.
Oh, okay.
Caleb.
My name is apexed.
I've got a body like shaggy Rogers from the mystery incorporated.
I am the diversity hire amongst the mall goths because I'm the only
furry representative.
Lenore and bliss keep me around because I'm a good guard dog.
I'm a wolf sona.
But I was recently kicked out of my wolf pack.
I'm trying to make ends meet.
Like go ahead.
Okay, Amanda, go ahead.
I am.
Brent Hilda.
I are you can call me Brenna or hilly.
She is one of the visit got and I would say she's probably on the
shorter side like five three.
Definitely.
She she's built a little bit a little bit with some muscle on that.
So she's conqueror.
She's been fighting for a while.
She is I'll say this.
She is wearing a very dark silk robe with gold stuff that she has
taken from her previous victims.
She is wearing jewelry of people.
She is conquested and basically she is upset that she cannot kill.
So she has to do the next best thing, which is take over until she
can go home.
And that is like how we feeling better.
I can't look at Caleb because his tail is working.
So my name is Theo Dananda.
I am what they would call a Visigoth.
Some man in a white coat gave me these circles of plastic and now I
can see much better than I have in my life.
I enjoy the ball.
I enjoy magic.
I don't understand much of this terrible world.
This is the only good place in this world.
Oh, and, and he's got like long, like dark hair that's braided.
And he's got like, like charcoal all over her eye.
Like she's was trying really hard not like to look like the rest of
the gossip.
It doesn't know what the fuck she's doing.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
Now, when you say this is the best place in the world, are you talking
about floppy Joe's cyber cafe?
Are you talking about them all?
No, the mall.
The mall is good.
Mostly.
Just checking.
I will make a note.
Aaron, go ahead.
Uh,
today I am through Dexcus close.
Who is a skinnier individual.
He looks as thus.
No more description necessary.
He looks disturbingly similar to Theo Dananda.
And he, he looks pretty tame.
He doesn't look like the kind of guy that would cause a problem,
but he looks at everybody with just like a little bit too much,
too much eye contact.
And he just seems just a little bit too intense.
Okay.
So, you know, between the, the two sort of hubs.
Of subcultures in this cyber cafe, who among the group is
commanding the mouse of the computer, because you were all sharing
one, you do not have enough quarters.
To all pay for individual computers.
I think the mall Goths know that bliss is always the one that
takes charge of the mouse.
100%.
It's not even an argument amongst the three of us.
It's like, we know.
I'm the only one sitting in a chair and everybody else is sitting
and standing behind me.
And I'm like,
Okay.
Powerful.
All right.
Ms.
Goths.
I believe it would be brand Hilda because the other two of us
are scared of her.
Yes.
Yes.
That is correct.
I would be on the computer and I will.
Yes.
I'll be manning the mouse.
Okay.
It is not a real mouse.
I do not know why they call it a mouse.
It does not squeak.
It does not have fur.
It looks vaguely.
It's because of the.
It's because of the tail.
That is a very good point, brother.
Yeah, but a real mouse has a real purpose.
This is.
Crush it and see if it squeals.
Do you try to crush the mouse?
I am trying to crush the mouse.
Okay.
Go ahead.
Well, go ahead and roll 2d6 for me.
So the way this game works is you roll 2d6 for everything.
You either roll against PCs, NPCs, or the mall itself.
Seven.
Seven.
I rolled a.
In this case,
Bren is rolling against the mall.
The mouse is a part of the mall.
I rolled a 2, which means you all see and got.
You can see this across the room as well.
Bren Hilda takes the mouse and crushes it in her hands.
You can see her hands instantly.
You see.
Oh my gosh.
You see a sort of portly older.
Dark skin black man look up from the other side of the counter.
And this is who you know, to be floppy Joe.
And he says, Hey.
Hey.
None of that.
It did not squeak.
It did not.
It does not squeak.
What kind of a mouse does not squeak?
I have no blood or core.
This is not a mouse.
This is the third time you visit Goths have come in here and he goes
in the back and fetches another mouse.
And like,
Can I take the small ball that was in old mouse's mice?
You may take it. Yes. Yes.
I have three of them now.
He comes up and he goes,
he whips the cable around and plugs it in and hands it to you softly.
And he goes,
I have three of them now.
This is the last time I don't have just mice to be given to teens.
You don't have any mice to be given to anyone.
Should really carry mice.
They, they, they have so many purposes.
This is an eating establishment.
I'm not carrying mice.
You could eat the mice.
They are very good.
They're very nutritious.
Oh, that's a good word.
I'm glad we learned that one.
I'm not doing that.
Of course I am.
We would not sacrifice you as we did the Romans.
Now they,
I will make a blood sacrifice to mighty wildin in your honor.
Oh, good brother. Yes.
I appreciate that.
You can see he's wearing a huge sort of dingy t-shirt that says
Hamlock's dad.
And there's a crudely drawn and sharpie.
What he looked,
what he thinks hemlock looks like.
It's just kind of like leaves a little bit,
but it's in the center and it says hemlock's dad.
While, while the,
while the Visigoths are making a little bit of a scene with floppy Joe.
Lenore is just going to be like,
looks like quest for fires at it again.
Whoa.
She's like really strong.
I guess.
Yeah.
What are we doing?
What are we looking for?
You got mail.
All of a sudden from both of your computers at the same time,
you receive a notification that you have an email.
Oh, whoa. Check AOL.
Mail.
Oh, click it open.
Beautiful.
Visigoths.
Mail.
It said we have mail. Where's the mail?
I don't see a box.
You got to go to the top corner where that little X is,
and then you click that.
It is gone now.
Oh, why did it go away?
That is not the right button.
All right.
Nice on her for telling me the wrong thing.
You can go ahead and roll for it.
Blitz. Go ahead and roll 2d6 as well.
Eight.
Six.
Okay.
Theo Denanda.
How does he stun Blitz?
They pull out like a like a stone,
and they etch a rune into it,
and then they'll scrape the rune off and blow the dust in
Blitz's face.
Blitz, if you had plus three on that roll,
would you beat Theo Denanda?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to embarrass myself by like kind of tripping into
the dust.
So I'm going to give the Blitz plus three,
so she should succeed on that roll.
Okay.
All right.
Wait.
So I have a trait that says embarrass yourself to give a
friend plus three on their roll.
Yes.
And that makes,
that makes Blitz,
what does that make your roll?
That will make my roll a nine.
A nine.
Okay.
So Lenore,
go ahead and write embarrassed in your hurt feelings
catalog.
He got it.
You see Lenore trip into the dust,
Theo,
and take the effect of the stun and Blitz stands there
unsurprised.
I'm going to take my like my soda and I'm just going to like
bite on the straw and like smile at Theo.
And Lenore is going to scream.
Oh my God.
Floppy Joe,
these weirdos have like,
they've got like anthrax or something.
Wait, Lenore,
it's okay.
I've got you.
I'll come down and I'll try to pick Lenore up and help her
back to her feet.
Hey,
that wasn't really cool.
You.
Well,
you lied to my friend and that is also not cold.
Wow.
Wow.
You are not an animal and you look like an animal.
I don't understand.
It's his first Sona.
Thank you very much.
Yeah.
It is like,
it is like the berserk ears in the north.
Oh,
northern guys,
they're just,
they don't get it.
I'll click open the,
the email.
Later,
Flintstones walk back over.
No,
they would not make it pass through both.
Where we're from.
Not the chance they would be left to the woods.
I was born.
I am fascinated by that one's tail.
Is it attached?
Do you see how it wiggle,
wiggles?
I do not.
It is kind of magic.
He should not keep a closer eye on him.
At this point,
bliss,
you see the email open addressed to the creepy losers list
from the student council secretary broke with the subject
Valentine's day skate.
And if you can see it,
I will actually read it out loud.
But it says,
don't forget to find a date for tonight's Valentine's day skate
at the hyper girl roller rink.
All stores will be temporarily closed in the late evening.
So employees can enjoy the festivities.
No horse play.
Goths.
You see an email with the same subject.
Or sorry,
visit Goths.
I forgot it was Valentine's Day.
I can't believe that they're still designing these sort of
like neurotypical events for people to just get together and
like dance.
It's just like corporate propaganda.
Exactly.
Like, oh, I have to find a mate.
I have to be with someone to have importance and worth.
Maybe I just want to be alone.
I don't even celebrate Valentine's Day anymore.
I celebrate the death of,
that's the death of Captain Kirk, man.
That's what I, that's what I celebrate.
Is that like a weekend thing?
No, it's a history thing, man.
Yeah, of course not.
It's not.
I was joking.
This Saint Valentine is a servant of the Christ God.
We must disrupt this ritual.
Yes, but I am confused because I've clicked it and it took me
to something called Saint Valentine's Day Massacre.
So I'm like, is that what it is?
Is it some sort of a battle?
Well, I did hear Bliss just talk about celebrating the death of a man.
And that sounds most interesting to me.
They must be making a sacrifice in their God's honor tonight.
We must take it over for the sake of our own gods.
This must be it.
Yes.
This is how we get back.
If we stop this ritual, maybe this is how we go home.
Yes.
And do you notice all these hearts everywhere?
Do you think hearts are involved in the ritual?
We must pull the hearts from their bodies.
Yes.
Oh.
Exactly.
Okay.
And no horseplay.
So therefore it's not the horse.
It can't be the horse.
It's a mounted battle.
Ah, it has to be.
No, no, we must fight on foot.
We must, yes.
No cavalry.
No cavalry.
I just wanted to like, you know, check on you.
I know back then they did some pretty not cool stuff to you.
So.
Yeah, I'm still like, I still have like dust up my nose or something.
Do you see any?
No, you're good.
You're gorgeous.
You're perfect.
I just, those got really just get to me.
You know, especially that Theo Denanda, she's like, they think they're just like so much
better than us.
You know, I witnessed them levitate that one Brunhilde chick and I was like, I totally
know this is fake because I'm a theater tech.
Like, I know how to do these things, but I couldn't figure it out and really fucking
annoys me.
Can I detect if he's lying or not?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Both of you roll 2d6.
I rolled a six total like a third level spell.
Levitation.
Six.
You beat me.
I'm telling the truth.
Oh.
Fair enough.
Or at least it seems like I'm telling the truth.
I believe what I'm saying.
Drama money.
Goths, actually both computers get another, you've got mail notification.
The Goths, you look and see that there's two new emails in your inbox and visit Goths.
You just see one.
Both of you have an email called purity test.
Open the message.
Open the message.
Okay.
Cool.
Dropped it into the discord.
Sorry if it's blurry gang.
But it says it is addressed to the sparrows and the nightingales from
stat 667.
And it is a list of purity test questions.
Um, does anyone want to engage with the tests at all?
Is this a part of the ritual of St. Valentine's?
There's one way to find out.
Yes.
We will partake.
Goths will partake together.
Visigoths.
Visigoths.
We do this together.
Yes.
With no horses.
Okay.
So the Visigoths start running through the purity test.
Goths, do you open the second email?
That is like the only time that Tom Cruise has ever been hot.
Agreed.
Even though it was a trash movie.
Fucking rude.
That was like, I kidnap movie.
What the fuck?
I'm sorry.
I just I have really high standards because I'm a theater tech and everything, you know, I just know how it's done.
So you could tell me how Antonio Banderas walked in those walls?
Oh, yeah, dude.
It was like CGI.
It's like super simple.
Oh, right.
I knew that.
I'll open the second message.
Yeah, this is what we're saying over your shoulder.
Okay.
Okay, you get an email to fake Goths from real Goths, the subject, your disgraced kinsman.
I will read it out loud for the sake of the people nearest dearest mall Goths.
We have captured teen boy Raven Goldberg and are holding him hostage somewhere in this mall.
We won't let him go unless you agree to stop hanging out in the bottom floor of the mall.
If you don't agree to the deal before the Valentine's Day skate tonight, Raven Goldberg shall be inducted into Visigoths Society.
He shall look most attractive in armor.
Sincerely yours, the Visigoths.
I like snap my fingers while you guys are having that conversation and like check this out.
Bastards.
What the hell?
The bottom of the floor, the bottom floor of the mall is like our turf.
Yeah.
I should say Raven Goldberg is the driver of the Goth Van.
He is the coolest community college freshman radio DJ that you have ever seen.
And he agrees to drive you all around because he graduated early and was friends with all of you.
The fact that they would even put touch Raven's like anything.
Skin, his body, yeah.
Like he's the only one that drives and that remix he did of Derude stand standstorm was like revolutionary revolutionary.
Exactly.
We have, we can't stand for this.
We have to get him back.
You know what guys, the stupid Visigoths are like up here.
Like why don't we sneak out and look for Raven while they're up here doodling with their stupid computers.
Wait, like maybe that's a little reductive.
Do we really think it was these Visigoths?
It could have been others, right?
What other freaking Flintstone looking MFers have been walking around this mall?
You know what Lenore, you're right.
I'm sorry that I, I projected that on you.
Yeah, there's a reason why I'm number two around here.
Yeah. Apex.
You got to get it into the game.
I'm too bad at Bliss, I promise.
Apex.
I'm trying to work out of number five.
I don't get how I'm number five out of three people, but I'm working on it.
I promise.
Yeah, you'll get there one day.
Well, you swear to do.
Will you ever tell me who the other two people are?
Maybe if you get higher ranked, I can tell you.
That's kind of classified.
Okay.
As your alpha tells you this, Apex, Visigoths, you can hear this conversation.
You know nothing about a kidnapped Raven Goldberg.
You know that you all refer to yourself as a Visigoths.
You're one unit, but you've never heard of this before.
And it's kind of throwing you off your rhythm.
Maybe they, maybe it is our kin preparing for, for the battle tonight.
Maybe they, they kidnapped this individual to extract information.
Hmm.
They not to tell us of this plan.
No, to this plan.
Yes.
I don't know.
Did anyone speak to any of you?
No, it appears that we have been excluded.
This, this, this is a grave error.
This cannot be.
How can it be?
Of course not.
No, no, no.
We are, if anything, we're the most powerful trio in this whole thing.
Why, why are we excluded?
Here is what we must do.
We must find these interlopers and we must take their hostage for our own and put them in their place.
Yes.
Black street said no diggity, no doubt.
Ah, no diggity, no doubt.
Did we learn that in school?
No, I read that in a poetry book with the circles that play the songs.
Ah, yes, yes, yes.
I believe that.
There was another one I saw that I just struck to me was don't start nothing, won't be nothing.
Yes, that was another good one.
I have, I have heard that one.
Well, while you're talking, you can see the computer, your time essentially runs out and the computer shuts down for both of you.
It sounds, it seems like, it seems like, oh.
Joe, your computer just died.
No, no, no.
This is a sign from the gods.
We must go now.
You're just out of quarters.
Honey, you're just out of quarters.
No, floppy Joe.
It was a sign from the gods.
Let's go.
Why do they call him floppy Joe?
I don't know.
His arms long.
Does he flop them?
It's a metaphor for the sandwiches and the, and the, and the discs.
You know, when you, I make, I make sloppy Joe's here.
You've eaten my sloppy Joe's before.
Oh, yes.
Oh, the liquid, the liquid meat.
I guess.
I actually stopped calling that.
Well, it should stop making it.
Yes.
You know, if you had some mice that would taste better.
Okay.
All right.
Next time, next time we come back, we want, we want to see real mice.
I can bring you one.
There's a pet store.
We pay, we will pay extra.
Please don't.
I really want you kids to be safe.
Please don't bring mice in here.
I don't know where you would find them in a, in a sort of clean space.
Don't bring that in here.
Don't worry.
We will find you one.
Joe list.
Sorry to like speak out loud.
I know how you feel about that.
But like the bottom floor of the mall.
What do you think the Visigoths want with that?
That's our hangout spot.
And it's been that way for like two months.
So we have dibs, but what do you think they want?
Just want to carve out their own territory.
And they think that they can take our territory.
And that's not okay.
We're not going to let him because that's right next to the orange Julius.
I'm not about to give that up.
That's prime real estate.
I say we start looking at hail satin because I need new sheets anyway,
but maybe he's hidden there.
Perfect.
Sure.
Try that.
Why not?
Oh, there we go.
Sorry.
You have officially received, if not detailed your own quest to,
to entail this game uses the scene system,
which means you can each as a group explore a store for your scene.
And in between each scene, we have passageways.
So things like escalators, hallways,
that sort of thing that count outside of time that all of you could meet in,
should you so choose.
So after a scene,
I will ask if anyone wants to be in the passageways,
we can have a scene there.
Does that make sense?
Cool.
So we have an opportunity to do passageways now,
or you can each start your separate scene in a store of your choosing.
Does anyone want to be in the passageways?
I like Lenore's idea of going straight to hail Satan or satin.
Hail satin.
Sorry.
It's like, sometimes the dark load channel's been, you know, right?
Bliss, right?
Bliss.
Hail satin.
Beautiful.
I just want to give an answer.
Right.
Bliss.
Bliss.
Did you hear what I said?
Let's go.
Oh, I'm sorry.
No, go ahead.
If we are to participate in this battle tonight,
we must secure armaments for ourselves.
That's very true.
That's just true.
Is that purity test?
Because I did write down, that must be important with it.
Correct.
I don't see how it is, unless we must complete the purity test successfully
to prove that we are worthy of gaining the weapons.
Not have enough quarters though.
We must find more quarters.
That's okay.
I wrote.
Those mountains have coins in them sometimes.
Oh, yes.
But I did write down the first batch, just FYI.
FYI.
I learned that.
FYI, yes.
Good.
You pick up things very well.
I know.
It's because I am smarter than you.
It's okay.
Well, I can do magic, so I don't know if you're technically smarter than me.
Well, no, no, you're smarter in magic, but not in skull crushing.
That's me.
Well, that takes muscle, not brain.
I just...
I'm just going to be...
I'm just going to be...
I'm going to just...
Let's go to the fountain.
Okay, so yeah, we will do your passageway scenes and then we'll cut to Hail,
Satin.
So you go, you exit Floppy Joe's and you head towards the fountain.
There's enough...
There's a substantial crowd of normies at this point.
It's a little later on Saturday morning, but you can look in the fountain
or researching for quarters.
I'm going to D-Rob.
Well, just the...
Because I don't want my lovely cat getting run and I'm just going to go in.
Okay.
I'm just going to go in.
Go ahead and roll against them all for me.
Like a crazy old bag lady.
I got a six.
I'm just going to get feet first and I'm just getting like handfuls of corn.
Totally normal.
Totally normal.
So, Bren Hilda, I will say you're in the fountain.
It's freezing cold.
It's honestly a little distracting in that you would think in this posh,
modern world that these soft, simple humans would have a heated fountain
because they couldn't bear the natural cold water of the seas.
But it seems that they can, at least in their malls.
And you are distracted by this and find no quarters.
Bren Hilda, where are the coins?
It seems these peasants no longer be tossing their monies in the water.
Then we must take some by stealth.
Do you want to steal?
I feel like we should go after that group early that is purposely deceiving us.
That's also a much less risky idea, yes.
Yes.
I will follow it for now.
I will follow it.
Bren Hilda, you choose.
I mean, we do need supplies for the, for the St. Valentine's skates, so.
We have the paper coins that they can, that they can break for,
that they can exchange for, for coins.
If we go by supplies, they can also give us more coins.
We can go to Ace of Mace.
It is up the moving staircase.
Yes.
Let's go.
Let's go.
We have weapons and also to get the coins.
Yes.
If we can find something called Skibo, I believe we have to made out with someone on Skibo.
That is on the list.
Okay, so.
We will find the Skibo.
Yes.
Weapons first.
After, after, after coins and weapons.
Are they in their like a hallway scene or their?
Yeah, they're in the passageways.
Could I join it real quick?
So like wall, wall, the, the mall gots are going down the escalator.
Like we see Bren Hilda, like getting into the fucking fountain.
And I think, um, Lenore will just be like, oh my God, watch this.
And I'm going to run over to the edge and be like, oh my God, what are the three Stooges doing?
Like calling it down to them.
What are you doing guys?
Ignore the idiot.
We are preparing for tonight's skates.
That is all you need to know.
Uh, by swimming?
Are you trying to like steal coins?
For your information, we are keeping our muscles in tip top physical shape so that we are ready to destroy you in the coming battle.
Okay, we'll have fun with your shower or whatever.
Yeah.
What are you guys like really strong and tall and pretty?
Yes.
Yeah, especially Theo Dunanda.
I don't think they understand the meaning of an insult.
I don't either.
I believe.
As the wonderful poet DMX said, first we're going to rock, then we're going to roll, then we let it pop.
Go.
Let it go.
What?
Lenore, he's doing like wick and spells again.
Uh, if you're looking for corners, you should go to the dark aid and she'll just walk away.
You, you with the, the, the fur.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a main.
Interesting.
You're interesting.
I know.
Yeah.
It's out.
With that, the teams separate on their separate quests.
We're going to go to hail satin with the mogots.
You see a demonic bed and bath store with every single piece of terry cloth and there's a lot is black.
You know that the store is mog off territory.
You enter the store and see a, a teen, a light skin black boy wearing a trench coat and black lipstick.
Um, you know that this boy is hemlock.
You also know that floppy Joe is his father and that is who the shirt was referring to.
Hey, hemlock.
Hey, hemlock.
Hey, hemlock.
He turns and goes, hi, welcome.
Oh, what's up?
Hey, how's it going?
Hey, I got a question for you.
What, any chance you've seen Raven around?
Not today.
I mean, I saw him a while ago.
Why?
No reason.
We're just, we're just kind of looking for him.
Don't you love Raven?
Like, isn't he just the coolest?
I mean, he's hot as hell.
And then he can try, which is great.
But I don't, I mean, everybody's a little hot, right?
Yeah.
He said if I kept hanging around him, then eventually he'd give me ecstasy.
All right.
And then, okay, is that, is that what you, is that all you want out of him?
No, I've never really thought about it.
I just thought I mentioned it.
Okay.
Well, that's super.
How's Benedict?
You seen him around?
What?
Benedict, you get close because the stores were close to, you know, capital G.
I don't even know where that story is.
No, no, it's not like right next door, is it?
I mean, I don't know.
I've been here all the time.
I'm just in here trying to make, I'm just trying to make my money.
I'm, I mean, right next door to capital G and you've never like met Benedict.
Nope.
So like, are you guys like here for something specific or like?
Well, I think Lenore was gonna look for sheets.
Honestly, this would make an amazing cape and I'm like holding up some of the, I mean,
we got cool shit.
If you want cool shit and he goes behind the counter and pulls up to, to special bottles.
There's like a, a black, like it almost looks like a wine glass, but it's, it's plastic.
And it's, it has black liquid in it.
And then there is a, a purple velvet book that he pulls out.
This is probably the best shit.
I've been waiting for the proper goths to come in here and show them technically it's
supposed to be on display, but I figured I'd hook my people up.
Blitz, babe, blitz, blitz.
Yes.
This ocean is like so you.
Yes.
But what's the book?
Uh, I don't really know.
I just know it's super creepy and like it's, I mean, it's cool.
I don't know.
It's nice.
Like Stephen King.
No, it's like a notebook.
Like you, you can feel it.
I mean, I guess it could be like a, like a grimoire if that's the kind of shit you like, right?
Like spells and shit, like spooky shit.
No, I take my strength from my natural.
I smack apex.
She's talking to blitz idiot.
Oh shit.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I am in the looks for a new spell book.
So it would be cool for me to, if I could take that off your hands.
The last one's like full.
It's like full of spells.
She filled it out.
Oh dude, that's impressive as hell.
Oh yeah.
I've been on a site.
I've been on a, like a dream journey.
And there's so much.
So much.
She said if I stick around long enough, she'll make me alpha.
Anyways, how much for the book?
It's 20 bucks.
What if I gave you 15 for it?
Yeah, like the Benedict discount, huh?
No, it's going to go to a good home.
It's going to be used, you know, it's just not going to go to any golf.
You know, hemlock, like the Benedict discount, like.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Go ahead and roll for it.
Hell yeah.
Six.
Okay.
He thinks about it.
He's at apex.
Yeah, we'll do 15.
Cool.
Thanks.
I know I'm cool.
Shut the fuck up.
I give him the $15.
He takes it, rigs you up and then puts the puts it in the special
like printed bag and hands it to you.
Thanks.
Last thing hemlock, you know anything about this Valentine's Day
roller rink thing?
Are you going?
I mean, it seems like everybody's going right.
It's kind of like a neutral spot.
It could be fun.
It's dark.
Love that.
I mean, we're going to make fun of like the normies that are going to
be skating, but sure.
Yeah.
I mean, like obviously we're going to do that, but I mean skating's
kind of, you know, it's like good for your legs and the core.
Yeah.
Skating's about as close as I get to pouncing.
So I'm looking forward to that.
Well, it seems like the opposite.
There's like a lot of gravity involved in skating.
You can't really.
No, like, well.
You get air when you skate.
You get up there.
The way I do.
I can't wait to see that.
Taking to the Valentine's skate.
I'm taking.
I'm taking Nocturne and he turns and there's a girl like in the,
in between the aisles, like restocking named Nocturne.
And she peeks behind and waves to you guys and goes back to it.
Yeah.
We're just going to leave from here and go.
Oh, hey.
No, dude.
Good to see you.
She waves back and says, I mean, hey, what's up guys?
You know.
That's fine.
A book is apex.
Okay.
I didn't think your tail could tuck between your legs like that.
I'm fine.
It's new.
I bought it.
Hey, stop being a weirdo.
Oh my God.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I mean,
Okay.
Well, perhaps we're just crowding the scene.
Maybe we'll catch you at the roller rink later.
I mean, yeah, dude.
It's supposed to be a good time.
Hemlock turns and goes back to doing absolutely nothing,
but he's at this point picking up the same two bottles and lifting
just to look like he's doing work real quick before I go.
If you need me to like pass any notes, I'm totally cool.
Like I got you.
Yeah.
All right, buddy.
All right.
Apex come on.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Coming bliss.
Sorry.
Geez.
He goes back to work.
What are you going on about with Hemlock?
What are you talking about?
Okay.
So I didn't want to say this out loud in front of Hemlock because
I don't want to make it obvious, but he is totally boning down
like sloppy toppy with Benedict in the God store.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Not bending knee for prayer.
Okay.
Are you just making like, do you have like physical proof?
Yeah.
Where do you get this information?
Okay.
So like, you know how sometimes I like hack into people's emails
because I'm insecure about my own life.
I want information on other people so that I can use that against
them.
Yes.
Okay.
So I did that to like Hemlock and I found out some stuff, you
know?
Well, okay.
So him and Benedict totally close like prayer hands in between
right?
But definitely no room for Jesus.
But get this.
There's something outside of it.
Will you just say it?
Well, okay.
I just, I wanted to keep you in suspense because maybe it's time
to think about, you know, number five moving to number three.
Apex.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
The one with the eyes, like the eyes that look at you and then
you're like, oh, where was I my entire life?
Anyways, he, he was buying shit from the God store.
I got a whole last receipt.
Now you may not know what that might mean, but this guy is looking
hella into, you know, hella.
What that might mean, but this guy is looking hella into Judeo
Christian normatives, if you ask me.
Yeah.
Don't the Visigoths not like conform that way?
I don't know what they conform to, but this guy conforms to a
capital JC, if you ask me.
Oh, so you're saying that if we tell the other Visigoths that
he's like totally breaking their religious fast or whatever,
like they'll be mad at him?
Well, yeah, I figure like Theo, like the hot one with all the
like runes and shit, like probably worshiping goats and shit.
So if you tell the goat worshiper like, oh, my brother's like heavily
into the old JC every Sunday, like, I don't know.
I think it might change some things for us.
Why don't we like, why don't we like pass a note to his brother
from Benedict?
Bliss.
You are an evil bitch.
Bitch.
So fucking bad.
You are the worst fucking thing that's ever happened to me.
Oh, that's why I leave this group.
OK, wait, we're going to take this as your.
We're going to take this as your passageways.
Yeah, that's fair.
Are you are you writing this note?
Yes.
OK, tell me, explain to me what you're doing in great detail.
I'll start writing it.
I'll be like, dear.
Theo.
It was great seeing you in the in the store the other day in the
capital G, capital G, God's store.
Yeah.
What do you want?
What do you want?
Can I ask you a question real quick?
Yes.
Is there any way that I could?
Did I take actual screen caps of the emails that I saw?
I think that's reasonable.
Yeah.
So I found like a kinko's.
Yeah.
OK.
Yeah.
Write this note like it'll be perfect.
But if we find some time to hit like a kinko's or like an office
max, whatever, I got the screen caps.
You can just click right in.
Like or we could even maybe post them around the mall.
Oh, you literally ruined everything about my life.
Like you fucking kill me.
You have been the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
Oh, my God.
I want to give field to Nanda the note, though.
Sure.
Sure.
OK, cool.
That's fine.
It's totally fine.
So go back to writing this note.
I'll be like there, Theo.
Keep it neutral.
OK.
It was great seeing you the other day in the capital G for God's store.
I never, like I will just like write a sappy like love letter on top of it.
I've never met a person quite like you.
You make me feel so good.
Would you be my date to the roller rick?
This is Jesus.
You got to mention Jesus.
Yeah.
See something about like a purity ring.
Yeah.
Say like, will you get baptized with me?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, Jesus stuff.
Like, you know, let's go steady and get baptized.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like communion wafers.
Like maybe I'll give you like my purity rigor, something like that.
Like that.
So we can make a sacred vow of abstinence together.
And hold hands as we, as we skate.
OK.
And to be clear, you're writing this to Theo.
To food.
To food.
To food.
But we're going to give it to Theo.
From Benedict.
Yeah.
From Benedict.
Beautiful.
Thanks.
Got a plan.
OK.
Cool.
We're going to go ahead and cut to Ace of Mace.
Visigoths, you approach a store covered in axes, bows,
whips and all weapons that are perfect for a respectable
adventuring party.
You pull in and you see a small, small girl with a high ponytail
and sort of like baggy, like peak eighties, nineties,
like hip hop, bright clothes.
And she's sits at the counter and says, hi, welcome.
We demand armaments so that we may appease our gods into tonight's battle.
Only the finest will do.
Please.
You want weapons for everyone?
All three of us.
I do not need one.
Just this brother, I have my magic.
Twice as, then we'll do, then we will do twice as many for Bran Hilda.
Yes.
I will take this.
So normally I would love to sell you guys weapons.
I see you in here all the time, Bran Hilda.
Nice to see you again.
We are currently.
Thank you.
We're currently out of stock of everything except for one thing.
And she goes in the back and like has to like almost heavy lift this
ridiculously large, like final fantasy spear.
And she clunks it on the table and says, so this I just sort of found
back.
It's, it just has a tag with the words Britney's spear on it.
I assume it's for sale.
But it's, if you want it, it doesn't have a price.
So I think just something of equal value.
Britney, it's Britney Pierce.
I believe I've heard that name quite.
I've spoken quite often.
Correct.
You, she is so lucky.
She is a star wizard.
She cries, cries, cries with her lonely heart.
And this is her spear.
Yes.
This is her spear.
She's busy crying to use her spear.
We are very lucky.
She left it.
Oh, it must have magical properties then.
Yes.
Done.
Oh, we must have this.
I will have the spears of Britney.
All right.
So like, do you have like money?
This is like really expensive.
I don't know.
I don't know.
It doesn't have a price.
So I just assume it's like an antique.
I don't, what do you,
do you have something of value that we can maybe trade or.
And I'll say like a hundred dollars or something.
Oh, I have 50 of these dollars of theirs.
I believe. Yes.
I do have also this, this 50 as well.
Beautiful.
That cash or cart.
But it's paper.
But we sister,
do you have any of the coin of the paper coins?
I have one of the paper coins in a zero.
I think two of them maybe convert.
Maybe convert one of your paper coins into one of the metal
coins.
Oh, yes.
Yes.
Thank you.
Sorry.
It sounds like you're making my job harder.
What's happening?
Can you please,
we would like this paper into,
we would like to give you paper.
Yes.
Yes.
And we will metal.
Okay.
Just how about you give me two of the paper coins and then I'll
give you Britney Spear.
Yes.
But then also after that.
Oh, you would like.
Yes.
Beautiful.
In quarters.
You want $50 in quarters.
Maybe not all of it.
Maybe.
I don't see why.
I don't see why not.
These quarters.
These quarters seem to be in high demand.
But we need some of the paper too.
Just in case.
All right.
I don't have 200 quarters.
I can give you $5 in quarters though.
And she starts,
she takes the,
the 50 from the two of you through and Brent Hilda and rolls
the spear across the counter to you.
And you now have a plus one spear.
And she also gives you your change,
which is 45 cash.
Four and quarters or five and quarters.
That's good.
This is a mighty weapon.
Yes.
Good weight.
I can see why the goddess Britney would be carrying the spear
around.
You will make tier very proud with that.
Very proud.
Indeed.
Oh, yes.
Oh, I cannot wait.
We, when we immortalize our victory today and that I will
make sure this is dead center on top of the skulls of some of
the four.
We will secure our places in Valhalla today.
Yes.
Thank you.
Great.
Okay, great.
You sold out my store.
So we can leave once you guys leave.
Oh, how many other people have armed themselves?
I feel like you're pushing this out.
I am.
But it's a bunch of actually a bunch of people that look like
you came in here really early this morning and sort of bought
kind of everything.
Where did they go?
I don't care after they leave this place.
Which direction you must have seen shortly.
Yes.
We will not leave until you tell us.
Roll for me.
To me?
Yes.
Fail.
Seven.
This is suspicious.
They are arming without us.
What is going?
I do not think they need to leave us behind.
I do not like this.
Okay.
You said seven.
Yes.
Okay.
So one went that way and the other one went that way.
Well, I know what we will do.
We will flip one of these metal coins to determine the direction.
Yes.
Yes.
As the locals do.
Yes.
The heads of the tails.
Yes.
It is as their sacred ritual.
Yes.
Do we follow the bird or do we follow the elder?
Old man.
I would say that let's say that the old man is left and the burnt is right.
Yes.
How do you flip it?
I will just throw it.
You just toss it in the air.
Do you throw it?
Yes.
You will follow the bird.
Follow the bird.
Follow the bird.
Thank you of the ponytail.
Just like you get an immune.
Yes.
All right.
Thanks.
Have a good one.
Good luck tonight at the skating of Valentine.
We look forward to bailing in your blood.
All right.
And then do you guys exit?
Yes.
And we go birdward.
Bird.
Bird.
Okay.
So you guys have the opportunity for a passageway scene.
Maungoths, do you know where you want to go for your second scene?
Well, I mean, I definitely want to, is a scene us trying to pass off the note to
Theo?
No, that can be, that's passageways.
Okay.
I think it's like something as simple as like next time Lenore catches maybe
Dananda hanging around as maybe they're waiting for the other goss to come out of
the restroom or something.
And Lenore is going to use her costuming skills to kind of, I don't know, I guess
she's going to try to be a little bit more primal.
I don't know.
Maybe she, maybe she borrows some furry thing from, from her friend Apex puts on,
maybe gets that black cloak she was thinking about.
But she's going to approach Lenore and, or excuse me, she's going to approach Theo
Dananda and be like, what's up?
What?
The glass above us.
Oh, oh, I get it.
Yeah.
Yes.
You handled being stunned remarkably well.
I've seen men half twice your size fall to it.
Well, thank you.
I got little lungs.
So, you know, I didn't really get a lot in my lungs.
Also, Lenore, you've set up a fog machine incorrectly enough to be able to handle a
stun.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Um, I noticed you, um, you like quoting song lyrics a lot.
The great poets of your time.
Yes.
That's cool.
You ever heard of S Club 7?
S Club 7, I do not know.
Yeah, they're like this really obscure British band, but I thought maybe you'd like these
lyrics.
There's these lyrics that go, everybody's got something they had to leave behind.
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time.
There's no use looking back or wondering how it could be now or might have been.
All this I know, but still I can't find ways to let you go.
And like she looks you directly the eyes and she says, let you go.
I very much like those words.
Oh, wow.
I've yet to find anybody that likes those words.
They are well done.
They are poetic.
I too have some poetic words.
Would you like to hear them?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Okay.
I got to go because I got me a drop top.
And if I hit the switch, I can make an asterisk.
A man named after frozen water said that his name is ice cube.
Yeah, that was that was amazing.
Incredible writing.
I think this fell out of Thud's pocket when he was walking by.
I think maybe he wants it back and I hand her the note.
You took an item of my brothers.
No, it like fell on the floor.
I'm just being nice and giving it back.
But yeah, it's definitely your brothers.
Okay.
I thank you for turning his property.
Are you going to do any magic tricks tonight at the Valentine's skate rink?
Wouldn't you like to know?
I know they're not real.
I'm a professional theater technician.
Okay.
So I know how to do all these things.
Oh, do you now?
Using my repelling and rigging skill.
Can I tell if there's any repelling or rigging around her?
Go ahead and roll.
Seeing that she's doing that, can I levitate?
Yes.
I rolled an 11.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
I rolled a five.
Okay.
Here's what happens.
Lenore, you start looking for ropes, anything linear, attaching them to any part of them
all.
Theo, you start to levitate and it's working.
It's slower than usual and it kind of like rocks.
Maybe it seems like you made a misstep.
But the magic that is lifting you up is shooting sort of like light beams out.
And that's reading as rigging to Lenore.
Lenore, you feel like you know exactly what's happening.
It's magic, but it's rigging magic.
Oh my God.
That better special effects in 2001.
Whatever.
I hate love you.
I'm seeing later.
I'm just going to leave.
I do not understand many of the words that creature says.
Theo.
What did he want from you?
You still have the note.
Did you open it?
I put it in my pocket.
Okay.
Only to be a bother.
As the Goths are.
They are good at being bothers.
That is true.
No, don't you call them the Goths.
We are the Goths.
We came before them.
We came before them.
They are usurpers.
Well, what do we call them then?
Do we just call them?
What brother?
We call them usurpers.
Okay.
And heretics.
I think.
I think technically in this time, we are the heretics.
Ah, according to them.
According to them, we are heretics.
According to our, according to our gods, they are the heretics and we must destroy them.
But when we take over, we will correct the wrongs that they have said.
We'll bring the Goths.
Precisely.
And Brent Hilda, wielding the spear of the Brittany tonight, you will conquer them in our honor.
Tonight is the night.
You will do well and proud.
Yes.
Again, I shall do.
You must kill all of them.
In the words of Brittany, I believe it is baby one more time for a conquer.
Yes.
Hit me baby.
Yes.
Hit me baby one more time.
They will be calling you baby, of course, which is, I believe, which of course means
that they want you to stab them.
Yes.
Of course.
What do they want?
They want to be, they want to be slaughtered for the gods.
Going from there.
Wonderful.
Wow.
Morgoth's.
Where are you going?
How are you doing?
Oh, we're too next.
It's only to find Raven.
Maybe we're thinking wrong.
Maybe we shouldn't be thinking like.
Actually, can I could like see everything?
Oh, so like you, they were doing like the whole fucking like Antonio Ben Derris
thing.
Yeah, they had like these light up rigging and stuff.
It was embarrassing.
CGI.
Wait.
Okay, so we, you all approached the lemon theodosius, which is.
The stand in for orange Julius.
It is a Visigoth ran institution and you see a woman as soon as you get within
probably 15 feet of the place, a woman like the double doors to the kitchen
fly open and this incredible like weathered cloak.
Just billows behind this person.
They reveal themselves and their eyes are like completely like glowing white.
And they just say hi.
Welcome.
And go to the counter.
This place is so intense.
Hi.
Hello.
What can I get for you today?
Um, I mean, I don't want a smoothie, but I was just wondering if you were, if you
perchance has seen one of our friends Raven coming around.
Raven.
Who is that?
Don't pretend like you don't know who Raven Goldberg is.
Is he the hot tall one?
Yes.
Really hot, really tall.
Long hair spins the circles with the music.
Yeah.
Yes, I know who he is.
What are you asking?
No, I'm just thinking about it.
I'm asking if you've seen him lately.
Defined lately.
Like recently like today.
Like today.
Sometime today.
Yeah.
Earlier today.
I saw him like pull up in his car.
That's it.
Did he have his hair up?
What?
He did.
That's good.
That's a good look on him.
I mean, what is it at this point?
Hey, like, do you guys, do you guys want like a wheat grass shot?
What's the one with rocks in it?
Oh, every single one.
We pull rocks and everything.
We get one with like light rocks.
Well, like Sam, it isn't like Boba like on or off, right?
Like I can get light rocks.
Yeah.
We can put sand in your drink.
Okay.
Yeah.
Let me get like small boulders, little sand, then smoothies.
Cool.
Something with lemon, I guess, because it's in the name.
Love that.
You guys, what would you like?
I'm good.
I already had my drink.
Yeah.
Okay.
She whooshes her cloak back and starts working.
I need actually anyone can roll for me against them all.
I'll do it.
Okay.
A nine.
Okay.
So you see.
Yeah.
It doesn't make a lot of sense because you know that Wolfie is not
like a cat woman.
Cat lady, I should say she's not cat woman either, but she has,
when she whooshed her cloak around, you can see there was a lot of
white fur that was stuck on the black cloak that like sticks out
pretty intensely.
I'm going to lean in and whisper.
Wait, hold on.
What are you like?
One of us.
What she says very loudly.
She doesn't reciprocate your whisper.
What's your first order?
What are you?
Oh, should I feel like I should say Odin, right?
Is that right?
I get it.
You can't talk about it here.
And I take a little piece of paper from my wallet and I slide it
over to her.
It has my beeper code.
You feel safe.
I know that I'm here for you.
She takes it, walks back, walks to the other side of the
counter and puts the card in the blender and looks at you.
And while she's doing it, the lights start to flicker.
The blender doesn't stop, but the lights flicker on and off.
And it's like revving.
That's like total sigma energy.
I get it.
Bliss, what was she saying about Raven?
I was kind of thinking about him and didn't pay attention to what
she was saying.
She said that she only saw Raven when he came in.
Actually, could I see if she was lying?
Yeah, roll for it.
That's a nine.
Yes.
She was lying.
Well, if that's, oh, sorry.
She comes back to the counter with your drink.
Is there anything else?
I'm going to like go up to her, look her dead in the eye.
Like just stare down.
And it would be like just until it gets uncomfortable.
What are we doing here, Bliss?
I just, it's just funny.
It's just funny that you think you could just lie and I wouldn't know.
I know everything.
I saw it in your dreams.
I see it in your eyes.
I even know what you're thinking right now.
What?
Really?
Really?
And she sells.
You're thinking about Raven and you're thinking about his beautiful,
beautiful hair.
Don't you know that?
That doesn't mean anything.
And you're thinking about the place that you've as a gods took him
when he came in from the, from his van earlier this morning.
Where is he?
If that's what I'm thinking about, you should already know.
Right?
Well, that's the only part I don't know.
I totally know he's in the back.
I'm going to like jump over the counter to see if I can see him in the back.
Okay.
I'll jump over the top and I'll bear invisible, non-existent claws
and I'll stand between Volfi and Lenore.
Go, Lenore.
I got this.
Okay.
Okay.
Volfi's going to try to stun you both.
Go ahead and roll for me, folks.
Beautiful.
Already.
I rolled an 11.
Okay.
Oh, really?
Okay.
So she casts this magic and both of you take,
yeah, both of you take one hurt feeling and she will also take one hurt
feeling because physical violence hurts both parties.
And Apex, you feel the stun like sting in your chest and your arms
and it makes it hard to like, you're locked in this like defensive
position, but you can't really move from it.
Lenore, you matched her roll.
So you feel the effects of your like on your body,
but you shake it off and keep going.
I got theater tech lungs.
Broke the furry coat.
Don't know what that means.
Yeah.
My whole intent is just to kind of like swing open the back doors
and see if I see rain and tie it up or something.
Okay.
You just want to like look from where you're at or are you investigating?
Well, I assume that this lemon theodosis has like a back room
or like a swinging door or something and I'm trying to,
you know, scope out the rest of this place as fast as possible.
Okay.
We'll keep that 11 and say you do not see Raven,
but you do see the continuation of the sort of like white fur you saw
on her cloak is has been like swept to the sides.
You know the way that she moves the amount of billowing things get
swooped to the side often, but there is fur.
There is also dirt and you see who you see tracks that kind of look.
They look like something with wheels.
It's not a car, but maybe it's like a scooter or a skateboard
or something.
You know what like wheels of that size look like.
There's small wheels, small wheels and they're leading out of the sore.
To the back room or they go in.
You can see they come in through like the back door and go out,
but they don't go to the front of the store.
The mall have like those weird like passageways between between all the smaller
like food stores.
Yeah.
Okay.
I think I think I'll just scream.
Oh my God.
I found a clue.
Come on.
Quick.
Follow me.
I'll head towards the back following these tracks.
I got this.
I'll never forget you.
Apex.
I'll like scrub his hair.
I love you, bliss.
You're number four now.
Amazing.
We go in the back.
And I'm going to listen to you.
I know what you're going through.
I know what it's like to be in a lone wolf full of people in the pack.
And I know what it's like to not understand who you are, what you want to be.
But there are answers to this.
There are forums.
I can show you.
Damn.
Okay.
You've said probably like 40% of the words you said she has no context for.
So she just says, I don't know what sort of strange magics you're talking about.
But I am a sorceress of Odin.
I know exactly who I am.
And I feel just as safe as I did before you got here.
I don't need whatever you're talking about.
Well, the second you start to doubt that, you realize that we're all fallible as human beings.
And I run off.
She starts to follow.
She's like, you can't go back there.
And you guys go.
If she does what he wants.
If she's pursuing us, I actually have a bag of firecrackers.
I'm going to be lighting them and like throwing them back at her.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Firecrackers off in a mall.
Yeah.
He want Raven back.
Yes.
Exactly.
Exactly.
If you met him, you know.
Okay.
This works.
There's nothing we can do.
We have to save them.
Role fireworks.
Okay.
I have a plus two to my pyrotechnics.
That's a total.
Okay.
Okay.
So you throw these fireworks and it's safe to say that there was something like this,
this kind of technology existed back then,
but it wasn't something that she had access to.
So you throw these things.
She starts catching them.
Oh, no.
And they start.
It gets pretty bad before she like,
it gets too hot and like throws it.
But you guys get pretty far.
You get through, through the sort of kitchen area.
And you keep following into this like back hallway space and they go back.
Back.
Sort of behind the mall, like where people that work here would park.
Okay.
Yeah.
I mean, I think I would just keep pointing them out and trying to follow these tracks,
see where they lead.
Okay.
Then eventually they, they disappear because the,
the like asphalt sort of takes away a lot of the tracks.
The fur continues.
And you see a significant pile of shit.
This isn't Raven.
I thought this was going to lead to Raven.
I'm out of ideas, guys.
Great Lenore.
I'm sorry.
I think apex is going to take a deep whiff thinking that he can track something up.
Go ahead and roll for that.
Roll for shit detection.
Caleb.
Hello.
The 10.
All right, buddy.
Goodbye.
Oh man.
Okay.
Apex.
Oh God.
It doesn't happen very often where you get to really hone your sort of wolf nose.
Yeah.
Years come down.
Yeah.
I manipulate the tail with my hand.
That's the best.
Oh, gag me with a spoon.
Well, you can detect.
Honestly, because this would be something a human would be able to figure out.
You've been to parades before.
You've seen like grand displays.
If it's like a historical day, you've seen the police on horses before.
This is horseshit.
I look back at the other.
I shake my head and I go, it's an equin sona.
Oh, what?
He means a horse.
This wasn't Raven.
Well, yeah.
I mean, I got that from the giant like face size.
It's Apex.
What do you hold on?
Okay.
Good.
Good.
We're going to cut from there.
I think great scene game.
It takes some time.
How are y'all going on this afternoon?
Well, I believe a visit.
I think the only other visit got run store.
Yeah.
In this mall is at a wolf secret with Brunhilde, not Brunhilde, but Brunhilde.
We should speak to her about where our kin might be.
About Raven.
Yes.
What is this massacre that we were not a part of?
Yes, we must.
We must find the information.
Yes.
Well, first we must find the information, but ultimately we must find the others.
So let's go to this shop.
Yes.
Yes.
All right.
So you...
In our...
Oh, go ahead.
Sorry.
In our passageway, can I fall behind them a little bit and read the note?
Yes.
Okay.
So do you need a recap or you got it?
No, I remember that it was...
It's a raunchy letter from Benedict.
Yes.
A raunchy Jesus letter from Benedict.
Amazing.
Yes.
Okay, I have seen my brother go in this store.
So I will wait for when Brunhilde takes the lead and marches her way forward and I will
grab my brother and pull him back to me.
Yes, sister.
I believe you have lost a message from one of these heretics, as you call them, the
usurpers.
What?
And I'll pass him the note.
No, this isn't mine.
Look, it's clearly...
It seems...
It's clearly addressed to Thude.
Who is this Thude?
My name is Tudexcus Klos.
Yes, but these people are fond of nicknames.
I often get called Theo.
So I believe it is yours, brother.
I've seen you in this store.
They are lying to you, sister.
Jesus, boy.
You'd know how much I love the gods.
I would never step foot into such a temple.
I have seen you with my own eyes walk into the capital G god store.
No, it wasn't...
Why are you lying to me?
No, I swear.
Why would I do that?
It's just...
Fine, look.
I went in there once.
You have lost faith in the old gods in the old way.
No, no, no.
I'm disappointed.
No, I have not.
Look, look.
Look at my neck.
I wear...
I wear the symbol of mighty Thor at all times.
I have the hammer around my neck constantly.
You are not...
I only went into the...
You are not worthy to wear the hammer.
No, I only went.
No, I...
Listen, I was just curious.
I was gathering information.
I wanted to know more about the gods so that we could...
I'm going to go invisible.
I do not want to hear more.
No, sister!
No!
They are...
Ten.
Where are you?
Yeah, Theo's invisible.
Sister, I'm sorry I will never step foot into the store again.
I swear it.
I will sacrifice ten million Christians in the name of Wilden.
Where is your sister?
I don't know.
They got a note from one of those miserable...
I know.
...heretics claiming me.
Let me see the note.
It is here.
You may see it.
It is lies.
It is lies.
I am loyal only to Wilden.
No.
It is lies.
Blast for me.
No.
It is not I.
No.
Brad Hilda, you know.
Did you go to the house of the single man?
I went in there once.
I went in there once to gather information.
I swear to you on the name of mighty Wilden that I am loyal to our gods.
I would never turn my back on them.
I am quite shaken by this and quite frankly just...
Brad Hilda.
No, I'm disappointed.
I grabbed Brad Hilda by the shoulders.
Brad Hilda, you know me.
You will know that I love Thor and Wilden and the Tyr.
I worship him with every fiber of my being.
You practically, you learned about them from me.
All right.
Stop it.
I did it like this.
Back, mother.
What are you doing?
Stop.
You...
You have pissed off your sister.
She is no...
She...
Thio!
Thio!
I've wandered off.
I've wandered off into the mall, into the passageways.
You have to get her back.
All right?
What must I do?
I must get her back.
Go get her back.
We have to prepare for tonight.
I have to figure out why we're not a part of the massacre.
And I can't have one half of my backup be gone.
And I can't have my other one be questioning the gods.
I am not.
I will prove it to you by finding my sister.
I will bring her back.
And I will prove to you that I am loyal.
You do that.
You do that.
And you think about what you did.
Yes, sir.
If the dex gets close, please roll to find your sibling.
Okay.
I'll say it takes probably 15 minutes of you just walking into empty space.
Sister!
And just sort of feeling...
I'm sorry!
Just sort of like keeping your hands up.
And then eventually, Thio, you feel the hand of your brother on your shoulder.
You got me shook up, shook down, and shook out.
I am sorry.
I agree.
You need not...
You need not utilize the quotes of those poets on me.
I'm sorry.
A little cool, Jay, would be disappointed in you.
I know.
You don't need to diss me.
I promise.
I cannot trust you, brother.
What must I do?
And I'll walk on backwards.
What must I do?
I'm walking into the store.
Sister!
You enter.
Athelwulf secret.
Oh, before we get in, mechanically, Morgoth's Lenore has two hurt feelings.
The only way to get rid of a hurt feeling is to talk it out with your friends.
Proceed with that knowledge.
I can talk it out for sure.
So, Athelwulf secret is a lingerie store that specializes in furs.
You see upon walking inside a tall, swole, sort of butch woman with really short platinum blonde hair.
And she's leaning on a spear at the front counter.
And once you guys approach, she instantly straightens up and says,
hello, good day to you.
Wait, sorry, like what did you say?
I said, hello.
Oh, yes.
Theodynanda.
Tutexkislos.
Brenn.
Hilda.
Hello.
Have you no information to tell us?
About, like, well, we have, we have 40% off sort of our common furs.
We have some.
No.
No, we know we have been excluded from your kidnapping and we are very upset indeed.
We demand to know where the rest of our kin have taken this prisoner.
The one with the bird name.
No, we all, we talked about.
Kidnapping Raven at the last meeting.
Did you not?
Nobody told us.
You didn't, there was a meeting earlier this morning at like one o'clock this morning.
You realize none of you were at this meeting.
None of you knew about this meeting.
We knew nothing about this meeting.
There was a meeting.
We had lots of work at home from the school.
There was a call on an instant messenger.
Just everyone was summoned.
We all met in the parking lot.
We all, you know,
Where are the others?
Well, it was a regular meeting.
We all showed up at one a.m.
Like we usually do.
Wolfie ran the meeting like she usually does.
She was very enthusiastic.
She's always enthusiastic, but she was on her own sort of special.
You know, hot girl shit this morning.
She was very excited.
She, you know, she did what she, she made someone get down on all four.
She stood on her back and said, the summer will be ours.
And that was how we started and ended the meeting.
I wish you'd had with me.
Yes.
There was a new kid there, though.
I couldn't see them.
They had a cloak, but
they did have a
weird, weird clothes.
Not, not, you know, proper clothes.
Like, you know, furs and whatnot.
They had a, a, a
orange beanie and
they
shirts that I assume had the name of their God.
A, a Patagonia.
I've never heard of her.
I've not heard of this Patagonia.
I figure new gods happen all the time.
And their, their shoes were
they were sandals and they were brown, but they said rainbow
and it was confusing because they were brown.
Why would they make basic
brown shoes with the word rainbow?
It was confusing.
But they were quite strange.
They came with Volfi and they left with her as well.
Well, Volfi is at the
lemon de odosius as she always is.
And I do not know what a stranger is.
And why, why did everyone buy
all the good axes and swords
and left nothing for us?
I do have the spear of Brittany,
which I'm very proud of, but.
Well, after the meeting, we all sort of had afters there.
And it was because the summer is ours, right?
And we were celebrating.
Yes, yes.
We were there until they kicked this out, essentially.
You missed out on quite a few.
I'm sad to have missed this meeting.
Are you talking about Brittany Spear?
Yes.
Yes.
Can I see it?
You may see it, but Bren Hilda
is the only one worthy of wielding it.
That is correct.
She like, uh...
Like, I don't know either.
A stupid way to, like, flex your muscles
and, like, sits on the counter.
Okay.
I'm gonna go ahead and do a twirl.
And I'll just place it right in front.
I see.
Uh-uh.
You can look.
You do not touch.
I see.
It's a nice spear, Bren Hilda.
I know.
Tell me, I see it in your face.
You think Bren Hilda is this worthy
of wielding the Brittany Spear?
How dare you?
Bren Hilda is our mightiest warrior.
Do you wish to challenge them?
Is that what you are getting at?
I do not think that they are unfit.
I think it is very generous of Brittany Spear
to just allow anyone to use it.
Just anyone?
How dare you?
Apologize to Bren Hilda.
She hops up on the counter.
I will not.
Bren Hilda, you cannot let this stand.
You will not.
You see the customers in this store leave
with a level of exhaustion.
Like, this happens a lot.
I would just immediately attack
but I gotta chill,
because I know there's some major consequences.
Can I attempt to inspire Bren Hilda
to a religious act
and convince Bren Hilda
that she must fight for her honor?
Oh, I...
It's not gonna take much.
Trust me, I was already about to go.
I can see him.
You must destroy them!
I will...
I'm going to take this spear,
twirl it around, stick it under the neck
and be like,
are you sure you would wish to proceed?
Just right under the chin.
Roll for me.
Seven.
Okay.
Go ahead and take a one-hurt feeling.
You can decide what that feeling is.
Oh, wait.
Can I add a plus two on my spear to that?
Yeah.
Okay, seven, nine.
Okay.
She sees that you immediately went to the neck
instead of sort of the spar that she wanted.
And she's a little defeated,
but she goes,
I see.
I...
It seems like you are in a bit of a rush.
So I will say,
we will do this later.
At the next meeting.
Ah, yes.
I accept that.
Yes, a single combat.
Yes.
Are we done here?
Are you done with your ridiculous rage
at our own kinsmen?
They started it first.
Don't worry, Bran Hilda, we are on your side.
Thank you.
It's not rage, it is social interaction
when she winks at Bran Hilda.
And I will wink back.
Ooh.
All right.
Well, do you want to buy something?
What do you have to offer?
Let me see.
She pulls out a bone and sinew bra
and a bone and sinew cod piece.
And they are, it's raw.
And also, it's very cold in the store
because they're selling meat clothes.
But she holds both of them up.
These just arrived today.
Could be interesting.
I've been told several times,
you cannot leave the store wearing only what you buy here.
I guess it's an issue.
But...
Oh, I'm sorry.
Theo Dananda, you have what's left of the paper currency.
You must choose what we do and do not need.
I have no interest in sinew and bone clothing.
Could you help us with our St. Valentine's Day massacre?
It will help you attract the attention of an animal
to kill or to eat or to train.
That is quite important.
That is most valuable indeed.
That is interesting.
It is important that it is a carnivorous animal
because it is, again, raw meat clothes.
But...
Like this Lady Gaga that they keep talking about.
Like the Lady Gaga.
Or the one who acts like an animal but walks on two feet.
The one that shops here?
He shops here?
Not well.
That's not my business to share.
No, please.
If you got business to share, share.
We would like to hear all about this creature.
Yes.
Could we take him if he came within...
Within striking the sense of the card piece?
Are you asking if the...
What is it?
The name? The Furman?
Wanted to purchase this?
No. No, this just arrived today.
Would he be attracted to it?
I do not know how much wolf he is.
I think it is worth it.
I have changed my mind.
Either way, it's $15.
How much?
I will give you the 15 paper monies.
Beautiful.
She takes the money.
Brother, put this and throws it into the pile of money
that she has on the floor.
Yes.
But sister, if I put it on, you must promise me
that it will convince you that I am loyal.
This is a start.
Do you mind if we attract the attention of Apex
that we talk to him...
Because you are there to attract him.
I would like to speak to him.
Are you asking?
Just let him know that we have it.
How valuable will it be to win one of their own
over to our side?
He will make a great informant.
I knew he was interested.
It seems to be at the bottom of their pecking order.
I will change immediately.
But think about this.
We could technically have a little spy in our ranks.
Exactly.
He could buy for us.
He could talk to us about the witch girl.
He will be a...
Oh, that bliss with her false spells.
She's very good at magic in a world without magic.
She is not.
The bit of hair that goes over her forehead.
She is a charlatan.
And they fake.
Wow, we are proceeding to passageways.
We're all in shit.
Jesus.
Alright, I'm being updated.
I'm surprised when I'm in it.
Okay, so passageways time.
I assume everyone...
Do we want to meet in a certain spot?
Does it matter if it's the hallway or the escalator?
Do we know what we want to accomplish in this passageway?
To be clear, but I am wearing...
I feel like we should go up.
I wanted to clarify.
I am or am not wearing some sort of a meat codpiece right now.
Correct.
Okay.
Just raw meat.
I just wanted to make sure.
It's cold raw meat there.
Yeah, good.
I'm wearing it out of the store.
I just want to be...
Guys, I know that...
Can I?
Okay, cool.
This may be out of turn, but as number four,
I want to make sure I'm taking more initiative in situations.
What if we got the Visigoths in the same room with us
so we could do some information gathering?
They were talking about going to the arcade.
I was thinking maybe we could catfish them there.
They're like, oh, we love you so much, Visigoths.
You're so hot and brownie and strong,
and you can pick me up and break me.
But for real, we're there to find out why they've got horses
running through the lemon theodosiuses.
And we haven't straight up just asked them
if they know where Raven is.
That's true.
They'll probably lie to us because that's what they do.
They lie.
But it's worth a shot, I guess.
I appreciate the initiative, Apex.
Of course, just chasing that number three, you know.
Okay, we will say on your way to your respective stores
for your third scene, you cross paths in the middle
of one of the wider areas of the hallway in the mall.
Heretics.
Visigoths.
I didn't think to see you all here.
How coincidental.
Yes.
We were just thinking about going to the Dark Quad to bowl.
Interesting.
That is funny. I believe we, too, were also considering
going to this Dark Quad.
We must find the Ski Ball.
Yes, the Ski Ball.
Oh, what's that? You guys like shows of strength and sport?
That's so interesting. That's what we like.
Interesting.
You do not strike me.
You do not strike me as the sporting types.
I'm going to whisper to Apex real quick.
Apex, what is the name of the guy that works for the Big G store?
Oh, Benedict, Big B.
I'm going to look over at that and go,
did Benedict get you those and look at his meat copies?
I will have you know, sir, that my sister bought these for me.
It is a gift from my sister and I am very proud of it.
So you have your sister by your clothes for you?
Why not?
They have a very good sense in clothing.
You guys have some good taste.
I had a friend who used to wear those.
You know, it's interesting.
You all are giving us about our outfits,
when really the only one out of you three that looks presentable is this one right here.
Apex.
Oh, I was going to say Bliss looked very nice today.
Well, I don't know how wolf boys work in your part of the world.
Oh, trust me. They have their purposes.
Slavery and like...
I like to serve.
Manipulating people is not cool.
These are new ears.
My dad just bought them for me.
A point of order, Apex.
What percentage wolf are you?
Are we talking in his mind or physically?
In his mind.
In his mind, he believes he is 100% a Sigma lone wolf persona.
Okay, I will say the codpiece that he's wearing
is throwing you off for a lot of reasons.
Like where it's placed, you're 16 years old.
That's fucking hilarious.
It's raw meat.
I think Apex is going like full like Edward when he smells Bella for the first time.
I love this game.
That was incredible.
Wolf, young wolf creature, perhaps you would like to ski the balls with us?
Yes.
Oh, yeah, I'll ski anything.
She uses Apex.
Then it is incited.
If you would like...
We shall all go ski the balls.
Yeah, I think Bliss, do you think we got time to ski the balls?
It might be our only chance to find out about Raven.
I hate when you're right, Leno.
Yes, I guess we can make some time for some ski ball.
Okay.
So, Thib, have you always worn a codpiece like that or is that like that you were?
It is just new today.
My sister said that I must wear it to appease Walden, so therefore I'm on about it.
I'm sure like Fenrir's really up in that too.
Like he's all about that.
You know about Fenrir?
We do not speak of Fenrir.
Oh, I speak of Fenrir.
It's forbidden.
I'm sure there's all sorts of things you guys don't speak about that you want to, huh?
It's more.
I do not understand what you are getting at.
Fenrir is an enemy to our gods.
We do not associate with him.
Okay, sometimes you have to look to the outside, right?
I am confused.
Brenda Hilda, is he challenging me to some sort of atoll?
He's not challenging, but he is definitely marking his territory.
Let's go ski some balls.
Let's ski the balls.
Okay, so we are going to do a group scene in the dark cave.
I will say this is, as you guys walk together, first off, are you just walking normally?
Because if it's Visigoths and Mogoths walking together into a store, even the Normies know that that's weird.
I think at least I'm walking with them.
I think I'm too hung up on this god piece, not me.
I'm walking ahead.
I'm going to actually be closer to Apex and then kind of really look at their setup.
Kind of digging it.
I'm going to try and be up closer to Bliss and try and look at her whatever magic shit she's got on her.
Okay.
Will Bliss, are you?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was just going to point out that I will be making sure to, in order to achieve our goals,
I will make sure that I am like three feet ahead of Apex.
Okay.
Brent, do you have that spear on your back right now?
Yes, I do.
Hey, this is a pretty sick weapon right there.
It's pretty cool.
Yes, it is the Spear of Brittany.
I earned it earlier and I am proud to be brandishing such a powerful weapon.
Oh, sick, sick.
Yeah, I don't really listen to Brittany, but I respect her and I think that she has a power that a lot of people don't respect.
Just like you.
And I'm going to playfully punch in the shoulder because I have a hard time hitting it.
I'm like...
I think it's too big.
That does...
As soon as Brent hits me, I go...
I like it.
I win.
Go there.
Nope.
So, question me.
The spirits animal that's within you.
Yeah.
Do you always let it out always or do you always keep it restrained around your friends?
I got to tell you, I used to run with a pack and like I used to restrain myself a lot,
but then I realized like the power of the sigma is the fact that it exists.
So I've been trying to harness the person that I am as much as I can and push that forward so that like everyone understands the best version of myself.
Because I feel like sometimes people will try and isolate you and try and tell you that you can't be what you want to be.
Like I've noticed that the other two don't really like you be who you are and I don't think that's cool.
So I've just decided from then on like I'm going to be who I am and people are going to accept me either way.
That was a lot.
So, I was about to say, I've noticed how your friends just like I kind of dismiss you,
but in our culture just so you know that animals and we worship and all that, that is not dismissed.
And I'm going to take my hand and I'm going to like stroke it against his ear.
Like kind of scratch especially the base where his head is.
You're giving him scritches?
I'm giving him scritches.
Yes!
And then like take my finger down his cheek.
I think Apex gets really embarrassed that this is happening in public.
I mean like he pulls away for a second, it looks like he's like not here.
You are too restrained, but soon you will amaze the beast within.
And I'll just walk off.
And then at that point, can I lean over and I say Apex?
You know in our society, the wolfman from the north consume mighty magical mushrooms to gain their full power.
Do you know where we might find some of these mushrooms so that we may enable you?
Wait, so like you guys have like wolfmen in your culture?
Yes, we call them Brazier Cures.
Brazier Cures?
They are highly valued in our culture.
I don't really know where to get like shrooms.
I used to know a guy, but that guy was like, that was from, I moved here recently.
Interesting, so you too feel out of place in this strange land?
Well, Issygma is never truly alone because in his loneliness he is welcome.
My gods!
Like, I know where to get ecstasy, because my friend Raven, he said.
Where to get ecstasy?
I'm sure this ecstasy will be just as well as the mighty mushrooms from the north.
Tell us where to find them.
And you know, someone like you would be much more valued in our culture than the culture here.
We would happily accept you with open arms.
Think about it, you can be, you can hang out with me and Brenilda all the time.
Like, that'd be cool.
She is the strongest and most mighty of all of our warriors.
Do you think she would like to be honest with me?
And like, I feel like you and me, we kind of get each other, I think.
Do you think Brenilda would beat me up in my ass?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
She is the strongest and most mighty of all of our warriors.
We kind of get each other, I think.
Do you think Brenilda would beat me up in my ass?
Oh, she would be happy to.
Let me tell, Brenilda takes great pleasure in all kinds of beatings.
It's all you must do, all you must do is ask, and I promise you that she will be driven.
In fact, I believe that she is getting quite a bit rusty, and you know, she must perform well at tonight's battle.
So if I were you, I would ask her right away.
She should be happy to warm up on you.
Yeah, maybe.
Thanks, dude.
Like, you're really cool.
You're a good listener.
Yes.
So if you wanted X to see, we'd have to find my friend Raven.
He's recently got missing for whatever reason.
So if we could find Raven, I could put you at E.
E is what they call it.
E.
Of course we know this Raven.
Our kin is holding them close, and of course we know exactly where they are.
But first, we must ski the bows while I consult with Theo D'Nanda and Brenilda about where this Raven is.
Freeze, please.
Like, Sigma speaking real quick.
Did you say like it wasn't you guys?
Oh no, we know where this Raven is.
Of course we do.
All of our kin knows.
So like it was you guys?
No, it was not us exactly, but of course we know where he is.
But first, we must ski the bows while I confer with the other two about his most recent position.
Right, yeah.
Hey dude, real quick.
Can I ask you like a thing?
Of course, anything.
Could you like, you know your brother Theo?
Uh huh, Theo D'Nanda.
Could you like, I think like when Norm might have a thing for Theo.
Like, does not want to admit it at all.
Like, because like they're very reserved emotionally, which I respect because like I'm an open book, they're closed.
Like, and they've told me repeatedly I shouldn't keep asking them questions or like invading their personal life because we're not actually friends and shit like that.
But if you could push Theo like maybe towards Lenore, I would be really grateful.
Interesting.
I would be happy to talk to Theo D'Nanda for you.
You're like the best. Have I told you that? Like your eyes are so like.
Oh, thank you. I was about to say the same thing to you.
Thank you very much for that information.
No problem.
All right, you approach.
I love this game so much.
You approach the dark aid.
It is there's nothing.
The only light source in this place is lava lamps and black light shining on most like walls and posters are like positioned by different like cabinets and things like that.
But it's pretty dark.
You go inside and you can see the sort of like prize counter immediately to the side.
But otherwise there's an expanse of games.
Apex you see someone that you know.
You know who this is a requiem especially.
Or sorry.
Wrong.
You see you do see someone apex that you know.
But their name is T.
They're a sort of mixed like Afro Latinx person.
But they do have the baggiest pants you've ever seen and a t-shirt with three wolves on it.
And then you see another person who is dressed as a cyber goth.
They have these incredible glasses and wires that are very clearly super glued to start and end at different parts of their body.
And they have bright red neon hair.
So T I know T then.
I don't think I'm a part of their pack.
But I do think that like I'm new in town.
And so we've had some sort of interaction because we're both like wolves.
Yeah.
What are T's pronouns?
He him.
Okay.
Cool.
I'm totally going to go up to T.
But I'm going to try and sneak up behind him and get up behind his shoulder.
Oh.
You.
Roll.
Roll.
Shit.
I love this game.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
So he hears he probably he assumes that it's the other person he's working with until the howl comes and he immediately almost like.
Felt that it was going to happen and immediately joins you in a howl.
Full voice.
Loud in the store just.
I'm going to clap him on the shoulder like I'm in an action movie or something.
I'm going to look him eye to eye.
In fact, if he's okay with it, I'm going to touch foreheads with him.
Of course.
Of course.
Hey brother.
What's up dude?
We just came by for some ski ball.
Can you hook this up?
Of course, no.
Family.
Well, almost family.
Pat.
That's right.
This is ace.
How are things going?
Super cool, man.
It's been pretty quiet.
Everyone's super excited about, you know, getting on wheels tonight.
Yeah.
It feels just like kind of thing, doesn't it?
I mean, it's a little too two legged for me.
Yeah.
Everything's a little too legged for me, right?
Like, yeah, exactly.
People aren't looking to walk on all fours.
Like that's how committed to the cause.
I mean, that's cool, dude.
That's cool.
I, I mean, I can't do it here.
I've tried to do it a lot of times and my manager, we've actually had a lot of meetings
about it.
I can't do it anymore.
Like legally and be allowed to work here.
It's like, if I could, you know, it's like capitalism wasn't built to accept people
like us because we understand that the world belongs to nature.
You know, it's really like anti-theorian and that was sort of like the basis of capitalism.
Like everyone always talks about class.
I would always talk about race.
Everyone always talks about all this stuff, but they don't really talk about like the fact
that capitalism goes against the world, the natural order of things.
Like we were built to piss on the earth and the earth won't let us, right?
Because there are so many streets in the way.
Anyways, T, have you seen Raven?
Really?
What?
Anti-Wolf.
What?
Have you seen Raven?
Like.
What?
Today.
Really hot, up-do, sells ecstasy, will sell it to me.
Just so you know.
No, but, uh, wait, what?
Uh.
Okay.
Requiem won't stop talking about him.
I haven't seen him, but I don't want to.
I'm honestly kind of done with Raven as a concept.
That's fair.
Okay.
I'm going to go ski ball.
Love you.
What?
I'm a big wolf hug.
He hugs you and like picks you up.
All right.
Theo, are you a ski balling?
Yeah, I'm like trying to ski ball like close to bliss.
I'm, uh, Lenore's going to pull up next to you and just be like, you know, I got to
be honest.
I've seen bliss do some really mean pranks, but you making your brother wear that meat
costume is like hilarious.
That is not a prank.
That is traditional wear for him.
Oh, you didn't, you didn't do that to make him look like an idiot?
No, of course I did to make him look like an idiot.
So you did or you didn't?
Yes.
Oh.
Foolish child.
Okay.
Yeah.
So my compliment still stands, right?
Yes.
Thank you.
Very kind.
Bitch.
I'm just a walk away.
What did you just call my sister?
I'll throw.
I'll throw the ski ball at him.
Sister.
Okay.
Are you going to let that stand?
She's an infant.
She does not know what she's talking about.
Sister, sister, come here.
I have something to tell you.
Yes, liar.
The wolf liar?
No, sister.
The wolf man told me that this Lenore, this Lenore has eyes only for you.
You have all the power over them that you wish to wield.
If you could win them over to our side, we may strike them our forces substantially,
sister.
I may have ruined things just now then.
You know what?
I don't think you did.
I think that they liked everything that just happened.
As he says at Theo, our Lenore pulls up to bliss.
He's like, I fucking love, hate that Theo.
Do you now?
I mean, I mostly, I hate them.
They're like totally lame and stuff.
They're just.
Lenore, tell me how you really feel.
It's okay.
Every time I tell you how I feel, I end up getting embarrassed somehow.
No, I'm one of your closest friends.
I'd never see you wrong.
Just like on one hand, I totally hate them because like sometimes they can do tricks
that I can't figure out how they do like magic tricks.
But on the other hand, they're so MF and hot.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, totally.
You think they're attractive too?
You think they'd be into me?
Yeah, totally.
I think you just need to bring a little bit more confidence, maybe not make fun of her
brother.
Oh, you mean like being really mean to somebody doesn't let them know that you're attracted
to them?
It depends on the person.
Obviously, she didn't take to it.
I mean, gods, we live off being insulted.
Yeah.
That's true.
That's true.
I'm not talking to a normal god.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's right.
Well, like, I just feel like they should like say something nice to me or something
and then we can start something.
I just feel like I've done everything.
You know what would be a good idea?
What?
I think you have to, no, she does magic and stuff.
You've got to like show her some magic.
Show them some magic.
Just razzle, dazzle them, you know?
I mean, I do have a razzle dazzler and I pull out like a firecracker.
It's just like razzle dazzler on it.
Yeah.
You should totally like use that and spark the fire in her.
Do I surprise them with it or do I just like?
I'll totally surprise them.
Okay.
Make sure they don't, they're not even aware of it a little bit.
You are my best friend, Bliss, thank you.
Of course, Lenora.
I will do anything for you.
Did you notice that Apex is being like a little friendly with the Visigoths?
Yes, I've quite noticed that.
Yeah, I hope you knock him down a tier.
He needs to learn a lesson.
If he doesn't shape up, I might have to.
I don't want to.
I mean, you know, I want him to succeed.
I want him to be a number three, but, you know, he's just not bringing level three energy.
I'm just concerned for him.
I don't want him to lose another pack.
Oh, shit.
Amen.
Okay.
So from the talk of fireworks, Lenora, do you pull out the razzle dazzler?
Yeah, I'll pull it out, but then I'll probably put it away until I'm ready to use it, but.
Okay.
I'll say at the site of the razzle dazzler and the throwing of the ski ball, the other,
the other person that works here, Requiem, comes around and says, no throwing.
I wasn't going to throw anything.
Requiem.
I just saw you throw something.
I just pulled it out.
That's it.
The ski ball.
Oh, the ski ball.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Yes.
Oh, yes.
Fine.
No throwing.
Love you, Requiem.
In he having.
Oh, go ahead.
Oh, no, I was just going to say having heard what I've heard from my brother, I'm going
to very awkwardly make my way back to Lenora.
Oh my God.
She's coming.
He's coming here.
Well, remember what I said?
Magic sparks surprises.
I'll leave you two to it.
You got this.
I'm going to walk away.
Lenora.
Oh, hey, sub Theo.
Hi.
It has come to my attention that I was rude last time we spoke.
No, no, you weren't rude.
Well, you called me a bitch and I've learned that that's something that someone usually
calls another person.
Oh, so I've made my assumptions.
I call all my friends bitches.
I mean, bliss is a bitch.
I call a text a bit.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, I'm going to like put my hand on on her like a four.
I'm like, this is lovely.
I have a new friendship in this time.
Do you have more of those words for me?
Yeah, yeah.
Have you heard of Robbie Williams?
No.
Who is this Robbie Williams?
And I'll like squeeze her forearm and like stuff a little closer.
Well, I'll start reciting one of Robbie Williams's stupid songs.
And as I'm doing that, I'm going to start slipping the firecracker into like her pocket or something.
This is happening.
Roll.
No.
Okay.
I say, I say, I think you can do a proper handoff.
You're a level, what is it, 13 theater tech?
Level 16.
Level 16.
My apologies.
I think you can do a handoff pretty well.
I also think the both sides think they understand what's happening here.
T has been thoroughly distracted, but Requiem is just watching like burning daggers up burning daggers.
What?
Looking at you guys melting daggers with his eyes.
And you think it's jealousy?
It's not good.
Can I can I intercept Reckram?
Yeah.
Hey, Reckram.
How are you?
Bliss.
I do all right.
I do great.
I'm fantastic.
I'm incredible.
How are you?
Oh, you know me.
Just looking out for my friend Lenore.
Maybe they're going to score.
Question.
Have you seen Raiden lately?
No, I haven't seen that terrible poser in a very long time, and I hope to never see him again.
Oh, what's the hate all about?
I think somewhere apex clutches his chest at the thought of Raven being called up.
Feels like disturbance in the forest.
It's just, you can't tell anybody.
Okay.
My lips are sealed, you know I never tell anything.
Good.
Okay, so you know how I'm gorgeous, right?
You're one of the most gorgeous gods in all of the mall.
That's what I've been trying to manifest.
And Raven obviously picked up on that.
He's not dumb, right?
So we go out on a date.
We go to the underworld premiere and it's everything.
I mean the fashion, the amount of leather,
the amount of pleather.
It's okay because it's, you know, the movies.
But the looks were just a delight.
But after we got out of the movie, he said he didn't enjoy it.
Like he's seen it before.
I can do better at his own home game.
And I was like, how?
It's underworld, right?
But seems fake.
Sounds fake.
It disturbed my heart.
It threw off everything.
And it just, I don't want to see him again.
That sounds nothing like him, but who wouldn't like underworld?
That's what I'm saying.
It's perfect.
It's going to be a classic.
I know it.
It's already a classic.
I mean, right.
And that was the last time you saw him.
As far as I'm concerned, that's the last time.
Make this note.
There's no.
Yes, that's the last time I saw him.
I am so sorry for you.
Raven, what Raven did was wrong.
A treasonous act as far as I'm concerned.
It is very concerning.
So yes, if you see the poser, let him know that I of course continue to hate him.
And that he is shit.
But why?
Apparently he has something that apex is looking for.
We've been just kind of patrolling around trying to look for him.
Oh, did you do that thing where he promises drugs to people?
Yes.
Is he really excited about getting those?
He seems through the roof about it.
I'd hate to break his heart.
He just he just leveled up in the group.
What? Level four?
Level four. Yeah, he finally earned it.
Good for him.
That's nice.
I want to make sure that, you know, get a little something nice.
Raven promised it.
I want to see if he'll least follow through.
But from what it sounds like it's not.
But if I could at least find him, that would be nice.
He's a dirty liar with no taste.
Yeah, so probably not.
I mean, good to keep hope alive.
Yeah, maybe.
I mean, look at, I mean, look at, look at apex.
Hope is all he has.
Yes, I see.
You are doing Satan's work, dear.
Someone has to.
Yes.
He does the kiss, kiss thing with you.
And it gives you like a free handful of tokens for ski ball.
Bless you.
Perhaps I'll see you at the roller rink later on tonight.
Oh, absolutely.
I've been working on my outfit for weeks.
I cannot wait to see what you come up with.
Yes, it's, it's more fishnets, but in places you wouldn't expect.
Oh, that is exciting.
I'm excited.
I'll be sure to roll by when you, when you arrive.
Come early because they'll probably kick me out.
I will, I will.
Well, you have a good one.
Is there any.
I have information that you will be very interested.
This wolf creature told me that he wishes for you to inflict physical harm upon him as a sort of warm up, if you will, for tonight's battle.
In fact, the wolf creature told me that they would enjoy it very much if you would whip them around a little bit.
Perhaps this will help us win them over to our side as well as allowing you to get a bit of practice.
And I'm sorry, but we all know you are a little rusty right now.
Oh, shit.
Oh, and I'm going to get like really up and close to him and then knock him back behind his knees.
So he like crashes into me.
I'll grab my stuff.
I'm sorry.
I didn't quite hear you.
Could you say that one more time?
You know, no, I just, I mean, you, I mean, well, I just want you to make sure, I just want to make sure that you are into a pop shape zone.
So if you're going to try to manipulate me, do better.
Like throw him back up.
Brandhilda.
And no, and no, and the wolf man.
He, he, he.
They are yours to command Brandhilda.
Oh, I think I might.
I have not had a sporting warrior like so upfront about that.
You must.
You must do this.
By the way, a question.
I'm in the purity testing that I read early.
I have don't understand the concept of make out.
What is that?
You see, I did not understand it at first either.
But through, you know, do we ask Theo?
Yeah, I know, I know, I know what it means.
It is when you, it is when you touch faces for an extended period of time.
You should, you should, but like where in the face, but like, it's like you're, take your, you take your lips and you press them against the lips of another and you hold them there for an extended period of time.
I believe.
Kissing.
Yes.
Kissing.
Yes.
What do they call it made out?
That doesn't make sense.
I don't know.
However, I believe that if you attempted this with the wolf creature, that, that they would be very amenable to our position.
And we will prove our purity for the purity test.
Two birds with one stone is another adage that I've learned from these people.
That, see, that does make sense.
We must not delay.
I will, I will go and whip the dog into shape.
Yes.
Are you doing this in the dark or in passageways?
I am going to, if he's in the arcade, I would preferably like to approach him at the ski ball.
Okay.
So T, it was like I was saying, like, I think it's so cool that like the vampires are versus the werewolves.
Great.
But like Beckinsaw understands the duality of like, I am a beast.
You are a beast.
Like we have to work together.
And I just like the sort of iconography of the film.
And like, she looks so good in the jumpsuit.
Honestly.
I want to be her, but I also want to be stepped on by her.
Like, you know.
Apex.
Apex.
I'm just going to like grab him.
Show me how to ski ball.
And I'm just going to rip him away.
Sure.
Yeah.
I'll show you how.
Bye, dude.
See you, T.
Gotta do some sigma shit.
You know how it is.
Yeah, dude.
Apex.
And I'm going to snap.
I run at the snap.
I'm like, eager beater, you know, fulfill the command.
I get up and I grab the ball and I go, okay, so like, we're going to throw this at some targets, right?
But you got to roll it.
And like, you're really strong.
So maybe like hold back a little bit so you can hit those targets, right?
And I ski ball with a brain.
Well, do you mean like this?
I'm going to do like a, like a fast pitch softball.
Under and hopefully with my strength and all that, I can at least get that nice 100 little small.
Give me a roll, but add your weapons.
Not a fire.
Yes.
Six.
I roll.
Six.
Okay.
I'll say it.
You roll it straight.
It goes all the way up to where the like 100 one is, but it bounces off of the rim and hits the glass pretty loud.
It doesn't make a, doesn't damage the machine at all, but it makes Requiem stick their head out.
No, that was like really good.
Like you did great there.
Like, if I could just give you a few pointers, Brandon, if you're okay with that, if you're comfortable.
Yes, please go ahead and show me.
I'm going to, if permitting, if consenting, I'm going to Patrick Swayze ghost this situation.
Oh, yes.
Wow.
Yes.
And like help them by the elbow and like group pull the ski ball up into the 100.
It's all about like a wrist movement, which I know because part of bouncing as well.
So it's like natural for me to show you.
Is this a certain ritual you do?
It's like a technique.
Some of the greatest warriors of the Sigma do this.
So maybe you can take it with me.
I don't have to roll there, Maura.
He, I don't think you do.
Okay.
Because it's not, you're not competing against anything.
Okay, good.
Um, yes.
Well, in my, where we came from, if there's a thing with nature, I think you'll understand this.
You must always be growing because once you're right, you rot.
So I love to always learn and grow from that.
So.
Brent, that is so like true to like who I am.
Like I came from like a small town.
I'm like brand new here.
So I'm just trying to accept every experience that comes my way.
And like, I feel like you and me vibe on that same thing.
And you're open to all kinds of experience.
And I kind of try to scratch his ear one more time.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think I am.
Like, I think maybe Brent, if you don't mind me saying this, maybe you can look forward to it.
Maybe you and I can grow together.
I'm going to like, I'm going to look towards my homeboy over there.
What I'm going to just kind of do up.
Yeah.
I would actually like that.
Quite a lot of Apex.
Good.
Good.
Question.
So I've just actually discovered something that I need to accomplish.
Do you mind helping me with something?
Well, yeah, I'd love to.
But first, do you think we could go over to a prize corner and maybe I could buy you an eraser?
Wow.
This eraser.
Oh, amazing.
I do not know what this eraser is.
Yes.
Well, it's like used to make up for past mistakes.
So maybe that past mistake could be like me overlooking you.
Maybe I messed up.
Not going to be sooner.
Take me.
Take me.
I'm going to extend my hand up and be like.
It'd be my honor to take you.
For the sake of my brain and time, I will say that you get your damn eraser.
Oh, my God.
And the episode right there.
No.
There's so much left.
No.
Oh, Jesus.
Okay.
Does anyone else want to accomplish anything in this damn arcane before we continue?
I am just watching the Brent Hilda perform so gloriously.
And I at one point turned to Theo Dananda and I put my hand on their shoulder and I say,
Theo Dananda, you really need to pull your weight more like Brent Hilda.
You see, they're just going and getting it.
You are interrupting me with my dear friend, Lenore.
I'm sorry, Theo Dananda.
Forgive me.
Cool.
And then I'll like put my put my arms up on Lenore's shoulders.
Now, tell me more of these, these words.
And I'll just like scooch a little closer.
I noticed you.
You only have one pauldron.
I have two.
I mean, Brezier, I need you to have only one of something so that I can give you something.
I do not understand.
I can take this off.
Well, I would it help you if I took this off?
I'll take this off.
I think I can you for you.
I just think I can do something better for you.
I'm a bit of a costumer myself.
And as we're like walking and talking, I'm going to pull out some duct tape.
And I have an ability that once per day, I can make some clothing item out of duct tape and give it to someone.
And I'm going to make like a pauldron and kind of give it to you.
And like this one is spikes.
Maybe maybe you'll like it a little bit better.
I mean, they're.
Oh, for battle, this will be most glorious.
And I'll put it on and I'll give you a kiss on the cheek.
Okay.
Wow.
Are you going with anyone to the to the skate thing tonight?
Only Brent Hilda and my brother.
Oh, yeah, I guess I guess you don't want a third.
I guess you don't want a fourth wheel or anything like that.
I mean, I'm going with.
There's always more room.
Well, for you.
I got to ask bliss because she might be pissed.
But if you're okay with it, I'd love to go with you.
Why do you need her permission to do anything?
You know, you're right.
This is your life.
This is why I need people like you around.
I know.
Okay.
All right.
Well, and I'll see you then.
Great.
I'll kiss her other cheek.
With balance.
Oh, while I'm thinking about it.
Uh, Lenore.
One of our friends was talking about a kid with an orange beanie
and brown sandals that were rainbows.
And also a sweater with the name of a God, Patagonia on it.
Do you know any such child?
That sounds like the brand Patagonia.
It's just like a clothing brand.
Are you sure it's not a God?
It seems to be in many places.
And I'm pretty sure it's a store.
I could probably show you where they sell it.
Lenore, roll for me.
Okay.
That's seven.
Okay.
You understand that these are very, very preppy brands.
Patagonia is a very preppy band.
Yeah.
But not so much in like Ambercrombie and Fitch,
but more, a little bit more, maybe Northern California,
but I think it's a little bit of an extra suburban.
And there's only one person who is that kind of guy.
And you remember Benedict from the capital G God store.
Actually, now that you mentioned it,
I know one guy who's super into it.
You know, you know, Benedict's.
My brother.
He might know more.
Thank you, Lenore.
That was very helpful.
I aimed to please.
Well, all right.
Well, I'll see you.
I'll see you later.
Good girl.
And I'll, yeah, I'll run right over to Blitz and be like,
Oh my God.
Oh my God, things are getting really hot with Theo.
I almost feel bad that that item I gave them is going to give
them a minus one to whatever their skill of choice is.
So when I, when I decide you're going to have a minus one
to your skill of choice.
Brilliant.
Asshole.
My real breaks are good.
Because when the sparks happen and the magic flies,
they'll be so impressed.
Oh God, I hope they do.
I mean, it seemed like they were just kind of into me being
a nice person to them.
Like they really reacted much more positively to that as opposed
to me just being a raging bitch.
Well, poser gods would want to be, you know,
soothed, not, you know, given the truth.
So my, so do I need to continue just being nice?
Or do I go through this idea of like lighting the firework?
Well, you started off with the niceness.
Now it's the sparks and the boom, you know,
the final straw that solidifies it, you know.
Okay, I just really don't want to screw this up.
Things are going way better than I ever thought they would.
You won't screw it up.
You're Lenore, you're my second.
Oh.
Bliss, bliss, I got so much to tell you.
Okay, first, I think I'm in love and I think that they could
break me in like four different pieces and I gave them an eraser
so that they could get rid of their past mistakes.
And oh my God, it went so good.
They hit the 100 like 50 times.
Oh, also, I don't think it was them.
What?
I was talking with like food, the one with like the ice,
you know, the ice.
And he said something weird about how like it was their kin,
but not them that took Raven.
And so I think that maybe, maybe we could use them.
Maybe they could be like our allies or something,
but I don't think it was them.
But the Visigoths sent us an email and said it was them.
Well, apparently like they have them locked up somewhere,
but it was like other gods, other Visigoths.
Okay, but they're all Visigoths, so they're all involved.
I don't know, man, like I trust them.
Like they thought I was like cute and hot and like a good wolf.
Yeah, you would trust them.
I mean, they've totally buttering you up, Apex.
Yeah, you think Brunhelda really likes you?
Yeah.
She might be using you.
I hope so too.
I would love that for you, Apex, but like they're Visigoths
and they took Raven and like, how do you know?
They're not just using you.
Like you want us to use them.
But I taught her how to hit like the hundred.
Apex, think about it.
You would be like their number four.
You're already our number four.
So it'd be kind of like a step backwards.
No room for growth.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Maybe it was all just a joke.
Good boy.
Apex, go ahead and take one hurt feeling.
No, I hurt feelings.
Oh, no.
That was not the case.
I just thank you guys.
You guys always keep me grounded.
You know, we're here for you, Apex.
I'm looking out for you.
Yeah, you guys are always good friends.
I'm sorry I got distracted.
I'm for the goth cause.
We're going to figure this thing out.
We're going to get Raven back and we're going to take a lot of ecstasy.
Jeez.
As soon as we find Raven.
You did do a good job kind of figuring out what's going on though.
So now we just have to find whatever stinky Visigoth has him.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't think it's them because honestly,
they were asking me a lot of questions about him.
I think there is in the darkest we are.
Even if they're like totally bad guys who would like taking a race or even though
they didn't love me, like I feel like it's maybe not them.
I think they know something we should find out what for sure.
We should like kiss them until they tell us.
Where do you guys want to go next?
I have to accomplish something before we even leave this arcade.
So if they're starting to leave really quickly,
I'm going to, I have to get this one of the piracy test.
And I'm going to, Apex, Apex.
And I'm just going to wave him over.
Don't go over there.
Yeah, don't go.
Apex, don't go over there.
Oh my God.
Maybe they've got information we need.
Are you with us?
On all fours.
We're losing him, Lenore.
We're losing him.
This is crazy.
Yeah, Bren?
Yes, Bren.
I noticed you were all about to leave.
Were you about to leave without?
After you gave me this eraser.
Yeah, I just like, Bliss said we had to go.
Like, I just want to make sure that we like.
With your consent.
With your consent.
I'm going to go ahead and grab and kiss you right there.
Oh, hell yeah.
Oh yeah.
Like.
Apex is all about it.
He's going into it.
He's doing like weird nuzzles that probably shouldn't have.
But it has to be on the ramp.
So I'm going to have to grab him and like throw him down.
Yeah, as soon as you get me onto the ramp,
I'm going to just,
and I'm just going to throw them off.
And I'm just going to go ahead and weapon.
And I'm going,
the,
the nuzzle.
Apex, like, like completely submissive to you,
looks up to you and says,
I think that's 100 points.
All right.
All right,
And meanwhile,
Meanwhile,
Lenore and Bliss are like standing off watching this and
Lenore's just like,
oh, my God,
this is like that scene in the Lion King where to moon and Puma
Lenore.
We are better than Timon and Puma Lenore.
Don't ever compare us to that ever again.
This is upsetting and disgusting.
I think we got them all right.
We broke up.
I'm going to
Oh,
that was cursed.
I hate all of you.
Okay,
we have to move on.
Wait, wait,
Brent, Brent,
before you leave, Brent,
hold on.
Yes, yes, yes.
Will you go to the Valentine's skate with me?
Yes,
I would like to go to the skate with you.
I need you to take this
in honor
of us.
And I take the collar and leash that I have from my inventory.
I keep the collar.
I detach the leash.
I give it to Brent.
I think you know what this means.
Yes, I do.
And I'm going to like just put it like around my neck
and just kind of do that like.
No.
Wow.
Wow.
You guys all watch this impromptu
like low key collaring ceremony and
you guys all worship different gods,
but something official just happened.
And in all your respect to Pantheon's,
you know something just happened.
All right, Brent.
I guess we'll see you.
I'll see you later.
Hey,
do you want my like pager number?
I do not know what that is,
but I think I should take that.
Yeah.
Yeah, I reach into my wallet.
I give her another business card,
like the one I gave to Volvi.
They're Volvi.
Okay.
Wow.
And then I run on all fours back to Bliss
and Lenore.
Yeah, I think I got a lot of good information from that.
Yeah.
It's written all over your face.
Yeah, like, um,
it was good.
I'll tell you later.
I hope so.
Okay.
So.
Moving on.
Is anyone where?
No.
No, no, no, no.
No.
Not at all.
Just, I don't have the time to process what I've seen tonight.
So.
Where are we going?
There was some.
I didn't even go to the God Store.
Yes, I, yes,
I'll pull my brother aside and say,
as we're out,
as we're walking out,
I have it on good authority
that your secret lover
has information about
the third person.
Benedict.
I've never, I've met this Benedict.
When would you give up your charade of lies?
I'm not lying to you, Zildar.
I swear to you,
but we will go.
We will go to this capital G God Store
and I will prove to you that I am not lying.
Fine.
He has information about Raven,
so I think that is our next step.
Then we must go.
And you did so well, by the way.
I am so proud of you.
You will win this Lenora over
so that we might crush them.
I think it is you who need to pull your weight now, brother.
Yes.
I think we should go to the capital G God Store.
Both are both groups going to the capital G God Store.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
I have a need and a desire to go to the capital G God Store.
Liz, why are we going to the capital G?
Because I think these visigoths,
these posers know more than they think,
nor they say.
And I'm going to go get the actual information.
You're so smart.
Yeah.
I don't have time for that.
I don't have time for that.
Yeah.
I don't have time to be making out with the enemy.
We need to find Raven.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
I'm getting distracted.
I'll do better.
Remember, you're number four now.
Number?
You're right.
Yeah.
You're number four.
Remember.
You're right.
That extra initiative.
Right.
Let's go to this God Store.
I have to talk to Benedict.
Okay.
So.
Okay.
So you arrive.
I didn't know what I was saying.
Explosion.
Yeah.
Someone's setting off razzles and love behind my house.
But okay.
You arrive at the capital G God Store and you see it is
formerly Saint Sebastian's Catholic gifts.
It looks like a family Christian bookstore in there.
If you've ever been.
It's full of full of there's like books about the religion.
There's like a Bible section.
There's a veggie tail section.
There are small knickknacks that you can get.
It's like a faithful Barnes and Noble.
But you get there and you see a poster and a set of displays.
It is a little out of the ordinary.
It is CDs for the band.
Switch foot.
Switch foot.
Why?
Why?
You're welcome.
And.
John Foreman.
I think Apex has already picked up a switch foot album.
Okay.
My dad really digs these guys.
And you see a Benedict.
Same.
You see the rainbow flip flops.
You see the Patagonia shirt.
And you see the orange beanie.
And he watches you all.
He looks at the Visigoths fondly and says a dude.
Yeah.
What's up?
What's the mother?
I'm telling you the man I am meeting for the first time.
That does not that all suspicious.
My name's not that exactly.
I'm Benedict.
You know this.
We yes, I'm.
I am meeting you for the first time.
Can I slowly make my way over there as they're having a conversation?
Yes.
How do you know this one?
I do not.
How do I know do?
Yes.
How do you know?
The text is close.
The text is this.
See, you can't even pronounce my name.
First time.
No one can pronounce your name.
No one can pronounce your name, brother.
I'm going to get closer.
I know all the kids around here.
Do you know me?
I don't know you.
Yeah, dude.
I mean, I know who you are.
You're the big one.
That's a lucky guess.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you just...
I mean...
No, go ahead.
You just happen to know each other.
Like, will you get smoothies together?
Or ski ball?
I want to get up next to Thu on the other side.
And I want to use my ability to ask an emotional question
and they must answer the true feelings.
Nice.
Roll.
Thu, go ahead and give a roll, too.
Oh, I don't have to roll.
Oh, that's it.
I don't have to roll once per day without rolling.
Never mind, buddy.
You don't have to roll.
You must answer my question.
And the question I ask is, Thu, aren't you and...
What's his name?
Sorry, fuck.
Benedict.
Aren't you and Benedict a thing?
Don't you guys have a very close relationship?
Don't you guys tie this fuck?
I lean in and I whisper into bliss's ear.
Yes.
It reminds me of this John of the Foreman.
And I whisper back.
I knew it.
And then I'll just, like, do that thing
and I'll, like, sleep away.
Into the shadows.
Into the shadows.
Hey, like, this is a...
I don't know what this is about.
We should stop with the nonsense.
Your relationship to my brother
is of no consequence at this moment.
Hilda has told us that you were at the meeting
of the Visigoths this morning,
the one that we were not at,
the one where they chose to kidnap Raven.
Where is he?
He looks at the Maugoths in the store.
I don't know what you're talking about.
We can hear that, right?
Yeah.
I am very tired of people lying to me today.
Yeah, I'm very tired of people lying to her today.
I don't know what's going...
Is this some sort of, like, team-up?
Because that doesn't seem, like, super cool.
I'm feeling really persecuted right now.
I'll put my arm around Lenore's waist.
It is now.
Yes.
She is with us.
You can speak to her as if you speak to us.
Where's Raven?
Great.
I...
It was Role, actually.
I need a Role from either Theo or Lenore.
I mean, I don't have any pluses to this, but...
Okay.
I don't think I do either.
Go for it, then.
Let's see.
Ten.
Okay.
I mean, I...
I mean, I picked him up, but I don't know where he was taken from there.
I just took him to the pony.
But I don't know, like, Wolfie...
I don't know where she took him.
Wait, like, the pony?
Wait, that makes sense.
We found... we found pony droppings.
We found all that horseshit.
Yeah.
What did you tell me, Lenore?
I didn't think it was relevant until now.
Do you think this has something to do with tiny Jotun adventures on the top floor?
That's probably where Raven's at.
Let's go.
Let's go get him.
Hey, wait, wait, wait.
Before you go, he, like, reaches across the counter to grab.
Probably Theo's hand?
You can't tell her I told anyone.
Why?
She's very scary.
She's not that scary.
Promise.
I make no promises.
We don't hear you, Theo.
I make no promises.
It's okay, Benedict.
Both your secrets are okay with me.
Wait.
What?
You know, like, the one with the pony and the one with...
You know.
Did somebody see... did somebody... do you see this down the aisle?
I must go investigate that I start walking towards the other person up the store.
You know.
Hemla.
All right.
Okay.
I'm just feeling really like...
Maybe it's very important that both of those secrets get kept by you people.
I'm just telling you everything we need to know, Benedict.
Like, maybe tell a friend that.
All right.
This feels like both a trial and a tribulation, so I'm just going to need a minute.
Wow.
Okay, really quick.
Lord, like, I need you to, like...
Like, I know I fucked up.
Like, I mean, I mean, like, I know I messed up.
Like, just like that and me, like, because I don't know what to say.
Okay.
Are they praying right now?
You're dodhing.
I pray more than 100 times a day.
All right.
Well, maybe it should be 101 if Hamlock's involved.
Are you two-timing my brother without his consent?
I'm going to take Britney Spears.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not exclusive.
Oh, what's this?
What's this in this corner?
Oh, this is very interesting.
You better be careful because Britney's out.
Bitch.
It's Britney Spears.
Jesus.
I'm only exclusive with one, and there are actually three people, so I think I have another
space left over if I'm understanding it right.
Just tell us what we need to know.
All right.
I'm completely lost in this conversation.
What is happening?
Well, it seems that Benedict is having an affair with my brother and also with Hamlock.
He has also joined the forces of the Visigoths, if I understand, and he moved the Ravenman
to the Pony Room.
Is that about correct?
I don't know if he's-
I don't know where he is.
Quiet, you!
I don't know where he is.
I just know Volfi hired me to move him in exchange for the first floor of the mall.
What do you want with the first floor?
It's- look, I don't care about mall Goths.
I actually love and accept everyone, but I do hate you guys a little bit in that when
I'm trying to make money and there's a bunch of scary kids walking around everywhere, at
least with the Visigoths.
They get inspired like around Easter time.
They just think they're just sort of larping in the mall, and it's cool, right?
But when you guys are around, it just kind of spooks the customers.
Hey, let's get this straight, Benedict.
LARPING is never cool.
If there's one thing I cannot abide by, it's LARPING.
No, I just like- I can't stand people who LARP.
Look, we're totally wasting time with this poser.
Okay, let's just figure out- let's put our heads together and figure out where the hell
Raven is.
Lenore, you're so smart.
Have I said that today?
No, you haven't.
I don't think Theo appreciates you enough.
I think I know where he might be.
He told us.
Yeah, the tiny Jordan adventures, the pony place.
Let's go.
Okay, great.
Don't come back if that's not clear.
I think we should say just upfront, since all of us are sort of operating in the same
space, maybe we call Truce until we find out what happened to Raven.
That's fair.
Unless you say that doesn't work, Bliss.
Well, I mean, the Visigoths were the ones responsible for taking Raven.
We did not take your bird man boy.
Yes, we did.
I mean, we did.
We did.
We did take this Raven and we know exactly where they are.
Technically, I took him.
I'm kind of a neutral party.
I mean, I'm sort of the Lord.
I'm just saying, like, I think we can kill 40 birds with two stones if we all work together.
I'm okay with the truths.
Of course, you both would be okay with the truth.
What does that mean, Bliss?
Oh, you know exactly what that means.
Apex.
Do you mean like I made out with Bren and now I'm totally in love and I gave an eraser?
That's exactly what I mean, Bren.
Okay.
Sue me.
Okay.
Okay.
I will.
You're running a hard line there, Apex.
I'm just saying, I'd rather be number four in two groups than in one.
Okay.
So great.
Before we go, can I, can I haunt the God, the capital G God store?
Can I put a haunt on it?
What does describe that, please?
I'm going to go and get out my other, my other spell book.
This is like a ratty, ratty book.
I'm just going to flip a page like really loudly so that Benedict is like very much aware that I'm like looking for something in my book.
Okay.
And then I'm just going to mummering something and just like wave my hands.
No, no, no, no.
Whatever you're doing.
I can't hear it.
I'm going to move.
I can't hear it.
Like Britney Pierce spears right in front of the face.
And I'm just going to say, I dare you to move.
I dare you to move like the switch foot says.
God damn it, Amanda.
I love that farm.
I love that farm.
I mean, sure.
I'll stay.
Just go.
Just leave.
Yeah.
Benedict for trying to go against the mall.
Gosh, I hear by.
Oh, God.
He can't hear you.
Yes, he can.
Yes, he can.
And I walk.
Singing whatever like.
Loud.
Fly.
Worship song that he can remember.
What mechanically happens, Eli, with this haunt?
I have a thing called a hot where I can.
I can.
What is it?
I can imbue a person place or object with a spooky presence.
So I'm going to put a nice.
I'm going to put a ghost there.
I'm just going to say like.
I'm super scared right now.
It's kind of haunted in here.
It's almost like it may be a purity test said that we should do
something while haunted.
This would be a really great time to do it.
Oh, it's almost like if we were falling to the pressure of our
fears, yes, because it is well haunted.
I'm going to go ahead and grab Caleb and once again on the
counter.
You're so strong.
Oh, I know.
Get out.
Rum.
Player.
As we leave, I do want to say today never happened.
Today never happened.
And I, and I would like to, I would like to be the last one
out and right as I'm about to leave, I look Bartholomew
straight in the eyes and I say, Bartholomew.
Who is Bartholomew?
Benedict.
Benedict.
You already, you already take me there.
And then I'll follow it.
Yes.
Fuck you.
Benedict Bartholomew.
All right.
He just stands there stunned.
Yeah.
Great.
Cool.
I will say the roller rink is the last scene.
We just finished.
You have one more scene and it's going to be tiny.
Yotan adventures.
Is that all right?
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
We can still do passageways, but this is the last like scene
before the roller rink.
Okay.
So you all go to the top floor of the mall and you find tiny
Yotan adventures.
It is odd in that there is a horse track in the front of the
store.
It's a very big store.
And you can see that there are stables in the back and people
just sort of understand that you drop off your kids here in the
mall.
So it's kind of a daycare on nowhere is this business listed
as a daycare, but it just sort of became understood that you
bring your kids here.
So there's tiny children everywhere.
But you do see a Visigoth teen who is ignoring the children
mostly and caring for the horses.
It is a small fragile boy.
Most of you know as Everick.
Oh, sorry.
He's wearing a jersey and shorts.
The jersey is a Pittsburgh Steelers, but the shorts are both
more Ravens.
So, you know, he doesn't understand football.
That is true.
Everick.
None of us do, to be fair.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Everick, come here.
Come here.
Come here.
Come join us.
Everick.
Everick, my lad.
I don't.
We are looking for, do you know where the Raven is?
We need to know.
Tell two days is close.
Where is the Raven?
Wait, are you talking about the bird or the boy?
The person.
Oh.
Yeah.
I mean, okay.
You should know.
We were excluded from the meeting this morning.
Tell us, tell us, where is the Raven?
I mean, these.
I thought it's weird that you don't know.
We were not invited to the meeting.
So thank you for rubbing that in our face.
I don't mean to rub it in your face.
I'm just saying it's weird that you don't know.
We were not invited to the meeting.
So thank you for rubbing that in our face.
I don't mean to rub it in your face.
It's weird that you don't know.
Apparently, we just don't have the pages or whatnot.
Yes, the AOL is the instant messaging.
But Wolfie knows how to do emails.
She's the one that told everyone how to do it.
She, I just don't want to get on her bad side.
You understand?
I'm going to take out the spirits of Brittany really quick.
Do you want to be on my bad side?
No.
I also have a man Wolfman right there willing to attack
and rip your throat out.
Do you understand me?
Hey, listen to Brad Heald.
I can't believe.
No.
There we go.
So when we just talk.
Listen, I know what WTCG means.
So I know a lot about horses.
So if you think you're not outclassed here, you are.
What does it mean?
Wachtrot Cantrigala.
So if you don't believe that I know what's going on here,
I know Equinzona.
So if you don't release the information,
I promise you you will feel a full extent of my bite,
the Sigma bite.
Is that the name of a gang?
No, it is the lone wolf.
The lone wolf personified in me.
Apex Bono.
And I will bite to defend my pack.
Roll.
In 11?
Yes, honey, though.
If this is a bite roll, then I get plus three.
I just want to say.
Okay.
Oh, did you add your plus three to that 11?
I don't know if this is a bite roll or not.
Is it?
Okay.
No, that was intimidation.
He matched it.
So here's what's going to happen.
Oh, shit.
Everick is a small lad.
Very, very skinny, defenseless lad.
You had him very terrified.
But at the idea of things getting progressively more violent,
you see him not turn to the horse.
And he emits this sound that's kind of a whistle
and kind of a short song.
And the horses all turn and start to move towards you,
everyone at the front of the store.
Bren, get out of the way.
He used his equin son of powers to call the horses to him.
Run.
The cults are marching.
I just think everyone should be aware of also what I have.
Everyone always says, Everick,
you just watched the horses.
Well, I talked to them and they listened to me.
Everick, Everick.
Everick, Everick, Everick, Everick.
You know me.
I want to take this close.
I speak for the gods among us.
Are you really going to turn your beasts against me?
It's not personal.
I just don't like being threatened.
Are you and you don't like being threatened enough
to be threatened?
Wow to themselves.
Call your beast up.
Look.
How big are these ponies?
Are we talking like three feet tall pony?
They are small.
They're small.
I'm going to approach a pony and I'm going to try to like
show Everick that maybe may not have total control over the ponies.
Roll for me.
Bren, be careful.
They're vicious.
That's a 10.
Okay.
You approach the horse nearest to you and it starts to sort of get agitated.
Makes it very clear that it will attack you and then you hold out your hand and it calms
and lets you pet the side of it.
And Everick watches.
His face just falls.
Will you stop wasting our emething time and just tell us where you put Raven?
Okay.
He is tucked.
He's at the place where the circle, the people they go in the circle and they're on their
small carts, their foot carts.
The roller rink?
Yeah.
Oh my god.
We were heading there later on regardless.
Everick, what did you not tell us earlier?
Well, because you didn't know and that means Volfe didn't want you to know and that's scary
for me because now you do know and she's going to know.
Everick, Everick, Everick, Everick, Everick.
Look at me.
Look at me.
Look at me in the eyes, Everick.
Okay.
You have displeased the gods by excluding us in order to atone and make it up to them.
You must give us your ponies for our own personal use.
We were bringing them back.
We shall bring them back, of course.
It is only right.
It is what Walden commands.
Okay.
All of them?
I mean, as many of them as we need.
One per person.
I mean, I'm down to ride with Theo.
Yeah, maybe we could double up or, you know, use separate ponies.
You must give us...
I don't know, maybe make out with them to appease a purity test.
You must give us three of these horses.
Three ponies, please.
So we're not taking all, just three.
And we're bringing them back.
We're bringing them back and relatively good.
Okay.
Everick, think about Valhalla, Everick.
I don't know.
My mom gave me 25 bucks if that works to rent the pony.
Okay, yeah, that works.
All right.
He takes the 25, prepares three horses.
You're going to ride these horses downstairs?
To the roller rink.
To the roller rink.
Yes, yes, we are.
I refuse.
Bliss, bliss, bliss, listen, listen, you and me, we are not like the others.
I mean, yes, we are not like the others.
We exert control over the others in ways in which they do not understand.
Ergo, Ergo, we must share the same pony.
Sue, I don't know what you're possibly talking about,
because it seems like I'm the only one who's in control here.
So you can go and take a walk and I can ride the pony into the roller rink.
How about that?
Bliss, bliss, we are equals.
We are equals in the eyes of our respective gods.
We must share the pony.
Sue, I am the baddest bitch in this mall.
I don't have to.
I don't have to.
I don't have to.
I don't have to.
That's an ally ship.
An ally ship?
I don't need an ally ship.
I just need to find Raven.
So how about you take a walk and I will ride the pony.
I want to persuade him.
I'm sure my persuade this is good as yours.
Go ahead and roll both of you.
Are we getting three ships today?
Are we getting three ships today?
We need it.
We need it.
Nine.
I got a nine.
That's fate right there.
That is a promise of a ship right there.
We must share the horse.
I do think you share the horse.
I do think.
Oh, wow.
I'm holding the reins of the horse.
Yeah.
I think even if you were to, I think halfway,
you negotiate a switch where bliss is in the back
and Sue is in the front.
But even when bliss is in the back,
bliss is holding the reins around Sue.
Because bliss refuses to give up the reins.
I will allow bliss to.
Okay.
I will say, does anyone have any passageways business
before we get there?
Oh, I just wanted to finally say to Everett,
I wanted before we left.
Hey, listen, I know things got weird there
and you got really sad for a moment.
And I want you to know those emotions are valid
and I understand what it's like to be an outsider.
So like, and I reach into my wallet
and I give them my pager number.
So like, if you want to reach out, listen,
I think we could be good friends.
I really appreciate your control of the cults
like you did earlier.
And if you could teach me that,
I think both of us could be very strong.
Okay.
I got to go.
I got to go separate ponies.
I got to go make out.
Bye.
All right.
Bye.
I go get on my separate phone
and make sure I'm very close to Brent.
Yes, because I'm going to lean over
and kiss him all right.
Oh.
Ponies.
Jesus Christ.
You are in the hallway
on horses.
Yes.
Making out with each other.
Yes.
Like great.
Yes.
Lenore and I are just walking behind like
they took out ponies to kiss on them.
Oh, you're so strong.
I know.
I know.
It's okay.
I like walking anyway.
Oh, as a as a as a as a singular hallway thing,
can I like wrap my arm around her waist
and levitate us the rest of the way down?
What?
It's some ship wars right here.
Yeah.
Wow.
You really are magic.
I told you.
I got a 12.
I got two sixes.
Yeah, dude.
Okay.
Yeah.
You levitate at this point.
14 total.
The
you've almost stopped the mall
with what is going on in the hallway
to the point where Apex
and
Brent, you guys are in the throws
of making out
and you hear
a sound Apex that chills your soul.
Wait, repeat that.
You cut out for a second.
Oh, sorry.
Gregory Finkle
with this bitch.
No.
It can't be.
Apex.
Young man.
What?
What do you think you're doing?
Hey, Pat.
Brent.
I'm sorry.
I have to go.
What?
What do you mean you have to go?
If my dad finds out
I'm dead.
Take the pony.
And I direct it in the way of
I don't know the voice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's coming from behind you.
It is your dad
and he is
standing.
He looks like
Oh God.
What's the paper towels?
Brony.
Brony.
Yes.
Brony, man.
Standing hands on his hips.
Excuse me there, champ.
What do you think you're doing?
Dad.
What are you doing here?
I told you I'd be home by eight.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm here getting some candles
for church tomorrow.
And I see you on the back of a horse
kissing a demon?
Look, Dad.
I'm in love.
And if you can't get behind that
with you and your candles
then maybe you don't understand me.
I don't.
I don't understand you.
And, uh,
yeah, Abigail,
I'll see your mother at church tomorrow.
Don't think you're getting away with this either.
He is bliss.
Don't say her name.
It's bliss.
I will say the names that God gave
both of you, Gregory and Abigail
as loud as I...
And he starts shouting as loud as I want.
Brony.
Dad.
Brony.
You must push back against this, you surfer.
He's trying to take.
He's trying to take apex from you.
You must destroy him.
Take my pets from me.
Do you say this out loud?
Yes, I'm going to say this out loud.
Who is you?
Excuse me, young lady?
Young lady?
I've done more in my life than you've done
in your entire existence.
What do you want?
And why are you taking my pet?
Brent Hill dies his father now.
Yes.
Dad, it's not what you think I swear.
I'm in love with her.
It looks like you're being written off into hell, son.
And I don't appreciate it.
I mean, it would be a nice improvement, sir.
Maybe I'd prefer hell, dad.
Really?
Is that what you're going to say?
Your mythos of hell is very, very different
and completely wrong,
so you're just praying to nothing, by the way.
This is not seminary, okay?
I did.
I did.
Some of it.
Enough of it to know that I don't engage in battles
with children.
When we conquer the tribes and all that,
we actually, we just go and destroy,
you try to destroy future generations by brainwashing,
which I must say, quite diabolical, if I must say, right?
Do you agree?
Yes, yes, Brent Hill.
I agree completely, Brent Hill.
I mean, at least when we just pray, we just kill you.
Look, dad.
I don't know what you're talking about, little girl.
When we came here, you said I should make new friends,
that I should find people that accept me for who I am
and what I want to be.
And Brent is that, man.
These are friends, Greg.
These are...
I mean, these are characters from a chick track, Greg.
This is not it.
This is not it.
Brent Hilda, use the spear of Brittany.
Destroy him.
Oh, no, no.
Why would I waste the spear of Brittany's spear on this thing?
I can do this myself.
Hold on.
Yes.
Use your own.
Use your fists.
Your bare fists, Brent Hilda.
Is she going to punch him?
No, no, no.
Do you know what this is really quickly?
And I take the leash.
That was given to me.
Oh, my God.
This is better.
This is better.
This was actually given to me by your son.
And the thing about it that I find very powerful
is I think it sends a very strong message.
And I'm going to go ahead and, like, just nothing too painful,
but take his hand, kind of wrap it around his back
and, like, a little hog tie
and just hog tie his hand together with those...
His dad?
Yeah, why not?
Okay.
I'm not going to do, like, break his arm.
It's just...
I could tell this is just a grumpy old man.
He can't do shit.
So I'm just going to tie his wrist.
We'll see about that.
Can I stun him to help her?
Yeah.
First of all, I'm not too worried about the people with me.
Yes.
Go ahead.
Theo, do you have a specific skill
that you have that you want to help with
or just overall assist?
Well, I want to stun him.
Yeah, because I can...
I want to, like, stun him.
Well, because I have a plus two in Spears,
I can use this Spear.
Okay, I think...
May we also say that I am inspiring
Brent Hilda to a religious act.
And what I can do is I can just take the Spear out.
This Spear, because I can, once per day,
convince someone that this modern item
is an invention of the Visigoths.
This Spear is from the goddess Brini.
She will hit you one more time,
and also sometimes you will run and hide.
Let me explain something.
If I were to pierce your very soul
with the spirit of Prince Spears,
you will no longer cease to exist
in a way that you can harm another woman.
You are a toxic male,
and I'm trying to think of others' words,
as she has said, but I am running blank right now.
So, Thule, if you can help me out here,
I would appreciate that.
Yes, Brent Hilda.
You speak well, Brent Hilda.
Smite them.
I will not smite,
but if you will harm my pet
and, I guess, his cohorts,
then I will make,
and I will break your spirit,
and I will break your god,
because I've done that before in the past, right, Thiel?
Yes, in the name of the Brittany god.
You will speak up, Thule.
The silence says everything.
Jack, listen.
This is everything you ever wanted for me.
Someone who cares for me.
It wants the best for me,
and will protect me against anything.
You have to accept this.
You've been so good to me.
You bought me my first pair of ears.
You gave me this collar,
when our dog, Betty, outgrew it.
I gave it to you to throw away.
I gave it to you to put in the trash.
I'm just saying,
this is a good thing I've got going.
I made out twice today.
Okay.
Okay.
That is true.
He did made out twice today.
No, I don't.
I don't need to hear it again.
This is so messed up.
Okay.
Just whatever, man.
Are you going to?
Are you going to marry?
It might go into the right.
All right.
At this point,
it's a little too late in the game
to go back.
I just,
there's so much crazy going on
that I have to join in on it.
Just
promise me,
because you've already made out, so...
As far as I'm...
you're not more, right?
Are you going to marry my son?
I can't perform the ceremony right now.
What?
In a way, Dad.
We already did.
I will say, if your son proves himself
to be a worthy warrior and champion,
to carry on future generations
of my bloodline,
it is a possibility.
Listen, Dad.
It is too soon.
I'm giving you an opportunity
to come with us
to see my love and glorious magnificence
and rollerskate with us.
Ah, yes. Would you like to rollerskate?
Absolutely not.
I know it's been a long time
since you lost Mom.
I think it's about time, Dad.
Roll.
Is it weird?
I love that.
Is it?
I'm at a nine.
I didn't know what to expect with this.
That's a red board.
He says,
he gets really close to your face, Apex,
and says,
we're going to talk about this
when we get home.
And we're going to find ways.
I didn't get my candles yet.
I'm going to go to the capital G store
and see if they know if there are any,
any ways to be somebody's pet
in a God-honoring way.
We're going to figure this out.
Just mention the hemlock discount.
If you want to, Dad.
Hemlock discount.
Is that a cool thing you guys are saying?
Yeah.
If you mention it, like, you get, like, 15% off.
That's awesome.
Can I grab Apex's father by the shoulders
for a second as he's about to walk away?
And I lean into him and I say,
as they will tell you at the great capital G God store,
John of the Foreman says,
John of the Foreman himself
says that love is the movement.
Remember that when you go.
Don't touch me.
I'm going to take the reins and I'm just going to...
Yeah.
Okay.
Can you see Apex's dad?
He stumbles in a way.
This man has lost everything that he's understood in life
in about a 12-minute period.
And he moves towards God.
And he moves towards God.
And he moves towards capital G God store,
like that and holds the Ark of the Covenant.
That is the one thing he can focus on.
Oh, yeah, the God store is haunted. I haunted it.
Don't talk anymore.
Apex, before you, before he leaves,
he kisses you on the head between the ears
and keeps going.
I give my dad the biggest hug in the world.
In the world, like, inherently too long.
I'm going to be okay, dad, I promise.
Okay.
I don't know about any of this.
We'll talk later.
And then I'll look at Bren and I'll go.
So I guess you know my secret now.
My name's Greg.
I do not know this guy, Gregory.
I know Apex.
And I'm going to take the leash that I took off
and I'm going to clip it to the couch.
Oh, yeah.
It's like a John Waters film or something.
Wow.
Wow. Okay.
Here we go. Here we go again.
Bless you.
I'll be right back guys.
And I'm walking.
But yes, let's do this. I'm committed.
Oh my God. Okay. Okay.
Bless.
Okay, file scene.
Oh, he gone.
Yeah.
Oh, man. Okay.
Final scene.
We're going to go to the roller rink.
She's a hyper.
Roller rink.
The hyper girl roller rink.
Could we possibly take just like a three or four minute break
before we roll into financing?
I think that is a good idea.
We will take.
Let's let's take a five.
Oh, shit.
She's.
It's us.
You should know it's going to be a mess.
That was so much more than I was.
Even I was expecting.
Holy shit, guys.
I knew this game was dumb.
Oh, but we made it dumb.
Okay.
You
You
Okay, so you guys are all approaching the hyper girl roller rink
on horseback
And do you ride the horses inside or do you leave them out? Yes?
No, please we must not we must we were given these horses as a great honor
We must ride them into into the battlefield
But I don't think they're gonna appreciate the horse on the roller rink and I was
Bless you are blessed. You may do whatever you want. You said so yourself
Yeah, so I'm gonna park the horse outside
But don't you think it would be a stronger power move to ride it into the rink? I
Can see that but I don't want to but I'm gonna park the horse outside
Abandoned my separate pony and jumped over to brands pony since the leashing ceremony
Yes
So is there there's a horse loose in the mall? Yeah
I like that better actually I'm gonna levitate
Have animal control so I can go ahead and
I'll send it back. Yeah, I'll send it loose
Okay, we're gonna move forward. I just want to paint the picture of a lone horse moseying back
To where they belong
But okay, cool. So you all
Exit your horses and walk inside of the roller rink
Absolutely is very much a roller derby sort of space the walls are absolutely covered with posters of different like
Derby girls and things like that
Like pictures of famous people but also folks that like learn and train here
You see it's kind of starting to pick up. There's a lot of people that are here deliberately for the Valentine's Day skate
You see two girls at the counter where you check out skates
You don't know you've seen them before but you don't know them personally
There's someone with like a bright pink high ponytail
a little bit more swole covered in tattoos and then there's another girl in a blue
hijab sort of like
Maybe like a velvet jumpsuit and they're a little bit smaller, but they're working like in tandem. They're like
Working to distribute the skates and whatnot
So
When
So when does the massacre begin? When does the ritual take off because I'm
It's very calm right now
Oh
Bren it's kind of already going and I point to all the people who are are spinning around the skating rink
This is sort of like the ritual
Is there is there like
Is this something gonna happen now it just went British
What are you doing you speak like a Saxon?
Blasphemous, I was sorry. I was going through a terrible flashback. Um
There's an is there going to be an event later like where all everybody gets in the floor
Oh
Well, yeah, I imagine we can get on the floor whenever you want
But like I don't know usually they have like couple dances and they like call people out. Maybe we could be a part of that if you want
And Hilda I have studied these sort of events and I believe that the people of this period call this sort of a battle a snowball
I
Why would they name it a snow I do not know I think maybe it is because it is uh cold and angry
I don't know what either one of you are talking about but do you skate or nah?
What is this skate?
Now you put wheels on your feet and you go around the rink
What they're doing and you fight
No, you just go around in circles then what is the point?
I don't know man. What's the point of a lot of things?
I'll get us some matching shoes and I'll go up to the person dealing at shoes
Get two pairs
Do you know what your shoe size is?
uh
I'm going to walk up and put my foot on the counter and be like I am this size
Uh the girl in the blue just sort of like
And turns and then the girl in the pink walks up and um he says
okay, I
Do you have a number to sort of represent that or?
Is it just just foot?
cool
Uh, let me try to help you. I think you looked sort of about an eight and then they go to start fetching things
Um, and then they the blue girl comes back and says I guess you haven't been here before have you?
No
Yeah, you look at all right. Well, uh, we have a I'm sorry
But you're giving off sort of a negative energy towards brand right now and they're just trying to experience the dance just like anyone else
Yeah
Okay, uh, I am giving for that
This is just really not only is it super unsanitary. It's very um
Wrong I I just maybe you could be a little bit more observant and see the way that other people are getting
Right, so I get that you're like against the natural order of things and everything
But maybe you could think back to a time when you were a beginner to something and brand new and maybe you could consider that
Maybe other people deserve sympathy
Oh
I'll consider it for now
maybe
Sure
Do the rest of you want skates? I'm gonna get me skates. I'm gonna get food skates, but I'm gonna get him a size too small
Perfect
The girl in the pink comes back with skates for everyone actually
It pushes them across the counter nor is gonna pull pheo to the side for a second and be like
You know with all this like reverie. I think we're all forgetting like we're here to find raven
Do you think you could use your magic to maybe figure out where he is?
um
I I can try I really only
I really only can do about three things right now. I'm very not very good at it
I'm going to be completely honest. I only know how to do three things
I think you're really good at it because I I couldn't tell how you're doing it
It's magic. It's not a way. It's just magic
Uh, is in mall rat. Is there a way I could find raven here? Hmm. Um
You can could I could I could I turn invisible and like go in the back?
Oh, yes, that could work other than that. It would just be like scoping sort of investigation check type stuff
I'm sure I'll I'll I'll go invisible and like sneak around the back. I had the coolest boyfriend
You turn invisible and walk directly back
into
The room and you just see the just racks of skates a million of them
um, you also see
like behind the wall
there is a small bottle of
um
Captain morgan that's like maybe a third left
I'm gonna take it
Okay, um, and then beside that there isn't a lot to see walking back until you turn around
and see a
Like pretty
substantial
Maybe even raven sized
bag
behind the counter
Oh
Fantastic, I'm just gonna open it
I'm just gonna unzip it you um, okay. You unzip it and you see that it is
completely replaced
with
With return skates of all different sizes. They just don't have matches. It's just one skate
How unfortunate
Oh dear you nor will not be happy about this
Um, can I can I look around for anything else that might that might indicate?
Yeah, I will say, um, you go back to the other side of the counter reappear and then roll for me
Okay, really
There are two options either
Either raven has been turned into skates
Okay, I gotta uh, so you can see
You can see the the actual like desk where people are getting skates. You can see a snack bar
you can see the people skating and there is a
massive pile of return skates
that have like
Matches that seems but they are huge. It is about maybe five feet tall of unsorted return skates
He is either hiding in those skates or he now is a skate
Those are those are the only you're the only person I know that could turn someone into skates. So
Let's go look in the pile
Okay
Before you get there the girl in the blue once again steps in front and uh says excuse me. What are you doing?
I'm finding a bird
Who sent you
You sent yourself
Yes
Step aside or she's gonna do some freaky shit to you
Fair role
Uh, can I can I give her a plus three by saying fuck the police
I
Here we go
Yes, you can it's a total of 12
beautiful
Okay, uh with that and the beautiful poetry that that's been delivered. She steps to the side and lets you proceed. Nice
Dive in start pulling those skates apart
Okay, uh, is does anyone join them in their um excavation?
We could look for raven if we
Go ahead and start
scanning the perimeter
in our skates
Right. Yeah, I think it'd be really good if maybe we like held hands and then rolled around the ring together
Making sure to do a lot of surveillance
Yes, of course, of course, and I'm going to also make sure that his collar is wrapped around my wrist
Okay, you guys are skating. That's what we're uh
Listen through
What are you guys doing?
You got to put them on your feet
I put the tighter the better
Okay, I put the skates on my feet the tighter the better
That is what the heretics says they know the culture the best so it must be true
How am I a heretic?
You worship that christ god. That is what the father of the apex said
Ergo, you are a heretic
No, I don't believe in that. I
Am a wiccan. I believe in witchcraft and spells and eye commune with spirits. So I don't understand
Then you are like
You worship what like freya
I
Worship like nature nature whoever man. It doesn't matter then you you are one of freya's mighty warriors. Yes
Sure sure sure sure sure sure
Yes, I see it in you now. I see it in you now. Yes
Yes, you are you are worthy of freya's message. I see it
Anyways, we have to go and look for raven. So we need to skate around. Can you manage yourself?
Do you just like walk?
Yeah, he just walk
It's easiest one foot in front of the other. I will attempt to walk with my skates on
This is the first time through has ever skated. Yeah, it is the first time your deck is close has ever skated. Yes
It is
Bad um
You have to hold on to bliss
For dear life. Um, it's either that or the bench. There's no like rail until you get closer to the actual rink
Um
But bliss. What is this sorcery? I cannot remain upright
Those skates
What is the in can what is the incantation I must invoke?
Oh
Well, if you like bend down and like go down to your skates and if you and whisper go go go
They'll work for you. I bend down as close to my skates as I can
And I I I say confidently go go go
I'm gonna jump into the ring and just like stand in the rink waiting for him to get to get it
Okay
Um
Okay
As we pass him by can I be like you just push with speeds
I think me and brenge are already doing like twirls together. Oh, yeah, you guys are the
Couples that's right together. Yeah
Slinging me out there
Like I'm nothing and I go
And I spin back in
I'm incredible. Okay. So brennan apex are doing couples tricks and
Bliss and thudeckis close are having a very cute lesson
Thudeckis close
Lenore and Theo
You are digging in a mountain of skates. Uh, they're very heavy. It takes a while
um
but
you can see a
I think
discarded
receipt for a
Uh for the the um underworld movie premiere first
And then you start seeing the heel of a very roughed up doc martin
Which leads to a leg and leads to a torso and presents with a very unconscious raven
Can I lift him out with can I levitate you found him Theo?
We found him together Lenore
Oh
Say it one more time. I don't think we could hear you. Oh, I was gonna say can I levitate
Levitate him out once we like find his feet. Can I just levitate him out of his skates?
Yes, uh, you make his body rise from the skates like a chosen one
Yes
And
What do you do as the body's kind of rising out?
I'm just gonna look at him and be like you did it Theo you did it and with his consent
I will just play into kiss on his lips. Yes
Yes, okay
Everybody's everybody's getting the kiss and then getting the kiss and then like blushing go back to my smoothie
Begin like a violin and like leviathan
It's deep you just always know what to say
Uh, I will say
Okay, I will say you have found raven. Um, he's still unconscious
But I think we can cover that in epilogue. Yeah, who cares at this point. Let's go skating
Cool
Okay at at this point after as you kiss
You hear this is something new the casper slide
Feature the flat in a band and the cha cha slide
Feels the feel the entire we like and people weekend at bernie's raven and
Yes, absolutely
I'll like turn him from being like this way to being vertical
And I'll like grab one of his pants like
You see I told you we knew the location of the raven
Wow while you guys are all doing the cha cha slide
Carrying a
Unconscious raven goldberg
Um, Theo you feel this is longer than you've ever been able to levitate someone you feel as if you've probably
Grown
Uh, magically during this endeavor and you found out to the sweet sounds of the cha cha slide
Um, there's love in the air my song from now on the task is is fulfilled
Um, if there are no other objections, we will go to epilogues
Cool sure cool. Yes. So we will go. Um, the way that we entered
Uh and talk about what you do from that moment. It could be staying at the rink. It could be
Months how you spend your summer
Up to you, but we will start with elie. Oh my god. It was me
I rolled for it. I'm sorry
uh
I don't know. I would probably just
Keep ruling the the mall like I normally do with my with my squad
Um all throughout the summer
Um, I don't know how to feel about thu
You know, it's just kind of there in the background
We really chat, but uh, okay
I'm just okay
Enjoy my summer
Okay, uh, then
that
leaves us with a search
For the nor I think at a certain point towards the end of the night, uh, ladenore
tells
Theo
that um
She is doing the
She's running the board for the local high school's performance of much to do about nothing in 80s version
and she just wants to
She she invites theo to come watch it. Maybe get milkshakes afterwards
That's amazing does theo go
Yeah, theo goes and definitely tries to distract the norm the entire performance because she sneaks in
Very good very good. It is a close call. Uh, but I say the show goes on maybe with a few hiccups, but it's okay
Uh apex
Oh, I think that part of the summer is worked on treating an alliance between the goths and the visa goths
and
I think eventually it works, but it it ends up meaning that
Apex is effectively six now instead of
He basically gets put at the bottom of
the rack of the new alliance
in addition
I think there's a moment where uh apex invites bren
Back to his home, which is like this
Midwestern
Like jesus on every wall
We have an awkward dinner with my father
Um, and then in my room at 8 30 because we have 15 minutes before bren has to go home because obviously 45 per few
You know, uh
Dad keeps me on a tight leash
Um
In those 15 minutes, I think we both establish for bren a fursona
And then in the last five minutes, I think bren with their consent beats the ever-loving
Like uses the blunt end of the britney spear to just beat the shit by the blunt end
I will use britney
to uh
To beat him because he
Into my heart
I think uh, you know our safe word is toxic
Great
I hate it great
Um
I don't even yeah, I mean
bren you want to
You want to add on to that? Yeah, you want to sign go for it bren?
Because
We do spend the rest of the night skating. Yes
uh, I would say the
We do become like that try to bridge the gap between the scouts and
Well, I do think that that would definitely go forward
I would she would reluctantly, but she would slowly get it like she's not going full in
But she's like, okay, because it's you and she would make sure to give him a collar that says
She goes you may be six in the group, but you're my number one pet and it
Custom color is a peck stitched in gold because I do create my pets very well
Very nice leather stitching gold number one pet apex. I think apex cries
immediately
Like even before it's presented to him he breaks down into you
So and since he took me to see his father, I will just
Take him to our group for a meeting
And how are you taking to one of the meetings? I'll take him to a meeting as because he is my pet
He is part of he's with me. That's all that matters and I have britney
And we are hunting someone named Justin. We do not like this man, Justin
Something with timbers and licks. We have to go to the timbers and licks
Okay
Today's kiss close go ahead. Hey real real quick. I don't see uh, uh erin in our obs thing
Oh, is this do we no, you have me you have me. Okay. All right. Thank goodness. All right. You have me. Okay
continue
Can that be both rule over our respective version of the gods in strange and uh
And unforeseeable ways for the rest of the group and that we are best suited
Towards banding together so that we might rule over all of Gothdom with an iron fist
This does interest me once it goes into like taking over things. Okay. Okay
cool, uh
Theo Dananda
Uh, Theo, uh, as I said spends most of the run-up up to you about nothing trying their damn best to distract
Lenore from anything going on on stage and probably fucks up a show or two
um
Uh, but also eventually starts to join
Lenore in the theater
and uses their magic to
Uh try and create better
amazing
Okay, cool
And also I I make my brother. Yes as long as I can I encourage it always
All right, I like to use a star
Oh, that's it. That's it. That's the response
Um, okay, that was amazing. We will we'll cap the one shot here
Wow
That was amazing such a blast
Um, okay really quick. Um, thank you
Obviously, thank all of you for
Helping me tell an incredible story. Oh my god. Um, uh, everyone watching. Thank you
You can catch us at at made a rp on insta and at made a role play on twitter and catch us wherever podcasts are harvested
Thank you again to lucian con for this incredible
Game and this incredible mod that I cut up so much. Um
And uh, yeah, have a good night everyone. We'll see you
When we see you all right