Michelle Obama: The Light Podcast - You Will be Timed (with Michele Norris and Carlos Fenwick)

Episode Date: June 6, 2024

Michele Norris’ family has 30+ years of precious memories driving throughout the East Coast. From celebrating birthdays on the go to weathering natural disasters, when it comes to road trips, they��ve been through. Join Michele and her nephew Carlos Fenwick as they journey down memory lane with a lot of laughs along the way. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Alright, so today we've cooked up something a little different than usual and we hope you like it. Acast Creative just launched Season 2 of a show called Roundabout, presented by Nissan. It's all about road trips, relationships, and the memories made along the way. And I got to drop in and host the first episode with my nephew, Carlos. Join us as we journey through our family's 30 plus years of road trip memories from tornado warnings to broken ACs and of course the road trip snack that we can both get behind and spoiler it's definitely not tuna.

Whew, smelly. Stick around to hear the full story and if you like this episode subscribe to Roundabout wherever you get your podcasts for more fun times from the road. Everything that people have told me about Virgos, I am it. But so is Beyoncé. I love it. I love it. Just saying. I'm Michelle Norris.

I am a storyteller and a story collector. I am the host of a podcast called Your Mama's Kitchen, where we talk about how the kitchens we grow up in shape us as adults. I'm also a columnist for the Washington Post. I'm an author of a book called Our Hidden Conversations. And I am on to an amazing human being who's sitting here in the studio with me. His name is Carlos Fenwick. Yes.

Hello, everyone. I'm Carlos Fenwick, and I have the pleasure of enjoying my aunt's kitchen for over 20-something years. It's been amazing. So... Longer than that. More than 30 years. Yeah, 30 years.

Yeah. That's right. And this is Roundabout, a podcast about road trips, relationships, and the memories made along the way. And this is our story. Carl's had this sandy hair when he was young, and he had this great big smile. And he would roll in on holidays with the adults. And you were nosy.

So in our family, the adults are always playing cards, and he was just raring to get at the table. So he would come and plant up, kind of post up, like, when's it going to be my turn? That's one of my earliest memories of you. Yeah. Yep. Is kind of waiting to get away from the kiddie table. You got it.

And get invited to the card table. I have to say, I never joined the card table. I made a decision because we are a family of serious card players. Everybody has, on my husband's side of the family, they have a natural mathematical aptitude. Like they just hold numbers. And it's not quite counting cards, but maybe it is counting cards.

I don't know, but it's just they play serious cards. And personalities change around the table. My mother is notorious for a rage quit. Okay. I've never seen her rage quit. I've seen her... You just did that thing she does though. She sucks her gums when she gets mad. Yeah.

That whole... It's funny. I was thinking... And then you just did it. Because it was so serious, I missed the boat. I probably should have... When you joined the adult table, that would have been the moment maybe for me to be your chaperone and come in with a little bit of grace or something. Because that's the other thing is no one grants you, there's no grace. There's no like on ramp, there's no training wheels. You either have to come ready to compete at a really high level or just, you know, there's

something else you can do in the house. No. No. No. There's some place else that you can be. That's right. No.

And that's sort of the attitude. Yeah. And I read the room, and I decided there was somewhere else that I could be, which was off in the kitchen. So that's just what I did. The first time I met you was at your house in Butternut. Oh, God, that was a long time ago.

It was a long time ago. Yeah. And you had first started dating my uncle. And you made chili. Oh, yeah, I make really good chili. Oh, you make the bomb chili. Yeah, yeah, everyone says that. I do make really good chili. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember that. My husband's mother, your grandmother, is a very good cook and an exacting cook and

maybe a little bit of a judgmental cook. So I was nervous. She's going to tell you if it's not up to par. And when she gave me the green light on the chili, the thumbs up, the green light, the head nod, mm-hmm. That's right, it's a head nod. That's right. That was, whoo, I could wipe my brow.

Yeah. I think you were maybe sixth grade or something, not yet junior high. I think so, yeah. Or right at the beginning, you were maybe sixth grade or something, not yet junior high. I think so, yeah. Or right at the beginning. You were tall, wiry, can I say nerdy a little bit? Yeah, totally. I was a total nerd, 100%.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it was so lovable about you. You're like Urkel. Yeah, I was. I got called Urkel a lot of times. And also with the most loving personality.

That big smile would always enter the room first and just so positive, that positivity you still exude today. However, we played Monopoly. He played well and he got lucky. So it was a combination of both and he got some key properties. Boardwalk, Park Place, Marvin Gardens and all the rest. Very quickly. And so everybody had to pass through his territory to get anywhere.

And your body changed, body language, you know, and there's just piles of money and piles of cards. And there was this expectation because you were always such a generous spirit that maybe you would show mercy on people. And there was just no mercy. In fact, just the opposite. And so there was one play where you could have done something, you didn't need anything more. I remember what it was.

What was it? You asked me, I remember this, I'll always remember. You asked me if instead of paying me, I think it was $1,500, if you could trade in or give me a couple properties, and then you'd pay me on the way around. could trade in or give me a couple properties, and then you'd pay me on the way around. And in my mind, I thought, this is monopoly.

This is me taking over the entire game. The thing is, I was willing to pay more money, but greed got so good to you that you were willing to take a win at an instant like I will smash you under the heel of my boot as opposed to additional cash. And afterwards, Broderick and I talked about it. And Broderick was always like, I thought I saw that Carlos, you know, people might take advantage of Carlos.

I ain't worried about Carlos at all anymore. You know, so... Think about Monopoly as it goes on too long. It does. In the end, it was not fun for anyone other than Carlos. And they still haven't played Monopoly with me to this day. I never will play Monopoly with you. I'm so much nicer now, though, when I play.

I really am. I will never know. So you say. We've taken countless road trips as a family over the years. There were trips with myself, my husband Broderick, and our kids, and now my grandson. Trips with cousins and friends. We all have memories of being in the car with each other at one point or another. But the thing that is consistent is on road trips, whoever is traveling up with Broderick

understands that if we're stopping to get gas, you will be timed. There is like a timer involved. There is always a timer involved. And it's like, okay, we are, it's, let's see, what time is it? It is 420, we are going to be back on the road at 427. That's right. I'm going to pump gas, you go do what you back on the road at 427. That's right. I'm gonna pump gas, you go do what you need to do, whatever it is.

Yeah. And I think that sometimes people slow down just to see the reaction. Yeah. Cause you've done that, haven't you? That was when I was young. I didn't turn out very well. And then there are the fights over music.

Yeah. Well, no, you know, my musical taste is very different from everyone, so I sort of, I'm in the minority. If I'm driving, I need upbeat music. I need something that's got a little, little hoo-ha, a little rhythm to it, a little bass to it. But I think the general rule is, if your hands are on the wheel of the car, your fingers are on whatever device that chooses the music, right?

If you drive, you choose. That makes sense to me. Why is it that when I was driving and you were not driving, that everybody thought that they had something to say about the music? Because I think if you're driving, you choose. You get the music that you need to get you down the road. Because I think if you're driving, you choose. You get the music that you need to get you down the road. Yeah. I agree with that. When I was young, I didn't understand. I just wanted to play

my music. And this is the other thing. If you're not driving, how many times are you allowed to say, oh, play that again. Okay, Cass the engineer is weighing in with a big zero. And then there is the question of food that you were allowed to eat in the car. So I'm in the don't bring tuna fish in the car ever category. Yeah. And we already had that lesson when I was first driving up to college and grandma made us a dozen boiled eggs. And that's probably not the thing to have on a 10-hour road trip.

Oh, but she also made, let me just tell you, she made fried chicken too. And that was amazing. Even cold. Yeah, even cold. If fried chicken is cooked well, if they put ascold on it, if it has the appropriate crunch, and then it's stored correctly so it doesn't then absorb too much moisture, because that's the important thing. You have to be careful if you put it in a Tupperware lid because then it can get too

much moisture and you lose. But fried chicken actually is good cold. It's so good. If it's prepared well. That's right. in a Tupperware lid because then it can get too much moisture and you lose. But fried chicken actually is good cold. It is so good. If it's prepared well. That's right. Get in mom. There's nothing more comforting than settling into a long road trip knowing that you have

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Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent 4-Wheel Drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Towing capacity varies by configuration. See Nissan Towing Guide and Owner's Manual for additional information. Always secure cargo. Now let's get back to the show. One of my earliest memories of being on the road with Carlos was a trip we took to a water park about an hour and a half outside of DC.

It was so hot that summer. It was ridiculously hot that summer. And we went with another family. That's right. And they just got a brand new car. But this was the year that Carlos got contacts. Yeah. And you were blinking a lot because you were just getting used to the contacts.

And so we were in the car on this long ride with your friend Allen. That's right. Yeah. Let us, I think the air conditioning wasn't working, so we were going to have to roll the windows down. Yeah. But Carlos would not let us roll the windows down. I think the reasoning was because... It was drying out my contact lenses. I thought, see my memory is

that you were afraid that they were gonna pop out or fly out. No, they were drying out. My contact lenses were so dry that when the wind was blowing, it was blowing them out of like around my eye and I was like if you put the windows down blowing it was blowing them out of like around my eye and I was like if you put the windows down my contacts gonna blow out. So we are so hot in the car. I'm not a prima donna. I mean and this is a generational difference because you know my mom and dad who I love dearly but you know we're old school we'd be like close your eyes then go to sleep put a bandana over your eyes something but the windows will be down I'm not gonna be hot because of

your contacts I mean that's just not gonna work but we were trying to be somewhat accommodating and so the two families roll up, and one family gets out of the champagne-colored SUV, and they are, you know, fresh. And we are just hot and bedraggled, and clothes are sticking to you. And then the first thing you did was went on a water ride, like that water ride. And I was like, what's going to happen to your contacts now?

I know. I know. We've also had quite a few unforgettable moments during our yearly pilgrimage to Martha's Vineyard. Now, for context, Martha's Vineyard is an island off the coast of Massachusetts near Cape Cod that you can really only get to by ferry or by plane. There's no bridge that you can take on and off the island. So if you're on the East Coast, like my family, you're probably taking the ferry.

And trust me, you don't want to miss it. I've never missed the ferry. I've come close to it. But I've never missed the ferry because I just didn't want to deal with the consequences. We've missed it before. You've got a... Yeah, we've missed it.

Things happen on the road. Because it is so high stakes, that last sort of 90 minutes is pretty tense. Yeah. You know, you're just hoping nothing's on the road. There's not a backup at the Bourne Bridge. You know, there's not, I mean, when the kids were really young, they'd always be like, the fairy's inside, I have to use the bathroom. That's how they asked you.

And it's never like a preamble, like at the Nest rest stop do you think we could? It's just wait until it's like, now. And you can hear it in their voice, like, no, really? Like now. When you're wondering, make the ferry or clean up You know it's just like what am I gonna do here? Yeah for the families I think there's this unspoken language like yes, somebody forgot their socks Yes, somebody got car sick. Yes. There was an argument in the car. Yes

You know people were playing slug bug in the back. Yes, you know all of the sort of I Don't know, anxiety that goes along with family vacations. Once you're on that boat, it kind of, everyone's looking at each other like, yeah. Yeah. We got it, we did it. We're all here and we're all about to be in a happy place. Yeah, totally.

Years ago, we used to all, you know, go up together. And there was the year that something told me to just go check the basement, because this was a summer where our oldest son, Brody, was there that summer. And you were living with us, and your sister, Carnesia, was living with us. So we had a house full of teenagers. You remember what happened? Wait, is that the same summer about the ants? Yeah.

There was one of those little lunch bags that are thermal, you know, that kind of fold up, and they have the silver on the inside, so your sandwich doesn't get hot. Lunch bags, they can get nasty, so I said, bring it up, let me clear it out so it's clear, ready to go the next day. For some reason, one of them never made it back up to the kitchen where it could be cleaned

and had stayed in the basement so long with a peach in it. That bag was Carnitia's, Carlos's sister. Aunts had discovered it. And there were so many ants inside of it that it was like the bag was like moving. And ahh! It was... So we caught it, we cleaned it up, but my husband was not happy. But he was actually pretty calm. Yeah.

Which is when you know he's really mad. Yeah. Totally. But it was funny because I, you know, Carnesia, who is now a parent and so responsible, and if this happened in her house, she would just not go for it at all. But at the time she was like, what? You know, like, what is, what? Yeah.

We can laugh about it now, but that was definitely one of our failed attempts to make it to the vineyard. But we've had some pretty sweet memories, too. And one of my favorite memories from the road is a special birthday trip we took when my son turned 10. My son, Norris, is born in August. And so his birthday is usually around our family vacation. And one year we were traveling on his birthday. And as much as I tried to make everybody's birthday special, cakes, ice cream, parties,

crowns. There were crowns some years. There were. Balloons. It's, you know, his bottom lip was a little stuck out. You know, I'm going to be in the back seat of a car. Although he did work it because it was like, oh, he knows how to work it. Yeah.

You know, I could use some ice cream. Even though we only have seven minutes on the stop, you know, he's thinking. But what I did that year is tried to make the trip special for him because we've done it so often. I know how often we stop, how many times we stopped. And it was his birthday, so we were going to let him get some fast food. So the lady at the counter, you know, took his order and said and said, oh, and Norris, here's a card for you. And when we got gas in Connecticut, dad took him to go to the bathroom.

And then I gave the guy the card. And the guy's like, what am I supposed to do with this? Just trust me. Just do I have to say something? Just give him the card. It's not a speaking role if you don't want it to be? Just give him the card. It's not a speaking role if you don't want it to be. You know, just give him the card. And he wound up being the one who did it with, like, the most brio.

You know, he's like, I hear it's a young man's birthday. You know, so everywhere Norris went, he was getting all of these birthday cards from strangers. And so what started out, it was supposed to be, you know, he thought it was going to be a day that he had to sit in the back of a car all day on his birthday. And so what started out, it was supposed to be, you know, he thought it was gonna be a day that he had to sit in the back of a car all day on his birthday.

Instead wound up being something really special. And then we got on the ferry, someone walked up and said, someone having a birthday here? And plopped a card down on the table. And then the captain of the ship said, happy birthday to Norris, and the entire ferry sang him happy birthday.

Wow. That was a very special trip. Yeah. At least to me, I hope he remembers it as fondly as I do, but yeah, that was, every so often you can pull out some mom magic, and that was some mom magic. Should we tell them about last summer where we had the torrential rainstorm from hell when we took a little road trip over to Woods Hole?

Oh my gosh, I forgot about that. Yeah, I didn't. I put that out of my head. We heard that there might be some rain. Yeah, some rain. But we got off of the ferry and we were fine. Yeah, we were fine. We were we were on schedule We had no where it was it out it like the the sky just opened up and it just Poured down smashing rain. Yeah, and so so much so that I think it was maybe

Good two feet of rain was on the ground. We couldn't see. We couldn't see. We pulled into one parking lot and stayed there for a minute and then got back on the road and then our phones all started going off. I had two phones with me, you had a phone, so the phones are all like singing at the same time. Hurricane conditions are present. Find shelter immediately. And it mentioned the town we had just left and the town we were in.

And then we had Peck that night and we were explaining this and they're like, what are you talking about? No one believed us. Nobody didn't believe us at all. We were like, but we were like in the eye of, in the path of a possible tornado. And they're like, what are you talking about? They're like, whatever. Yeah.

We do very well as a team, but our family does well as a team. Yeah, we really do. We do very well as a team. But our family does well as a team. Yeah, we really do. We really do. We're a good functioning unit. And I've learned how to trust you because you're an adult now and you make good decisions and you're a good partner. And so instead of feeling like I have to do everything or be everything, you know, I let you grow into your power and your ability to function

and to make decisions and, you know, to trust that. Yeah. Yeah. Because, you know, I still sometimes in my mind, he's, you know, he's still eight-year-old Carlos. No, he's not. He's close to eight-year-old Carlos. So, and I've also learned that He's not even close to eight-year-olds, Carlos.

And I've also learned that it's always going to be fun. I mean, we're always going to laugh a lot. And we see the same things. Like we get in the car and we totally see the same things. When we get in the car and have a debrief afterwards, did that just happen in aisle fight? It totally did. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. This episode of Roundabout was hosted by me, Michelle Norris.

A special thanks to my nephew, Carlos Fenwick, for joining me in the studio. I adore Carlos. I also host a podcast called Your Mama's Kitchen, where I talk to guests like Michelle Obama, Glennon Doyle, and Conan O'BrienBrien and more about the complexities of family life and how their earliest culinary experiences helped shape their personal and professional lives.

For A-Cast Creative, Shante Howell is our executive producer. This episode was reported and written by Arianna Thomas and Shante Howell with design, music direction, and production support by Emma Spellacy. For DCP Entertainment, Ryan Woodhall and Adel Coleman are our senior producers.