Mike Birbiglia's Working It Out - 106. Joe Birbiglia Returns: You Think I Give a Care About Christmas Parmesan?

Episode Date: August 28, 2023

Joe “Joey Bag O’ Donuts” Birbiglia returns to the podcast. Last time, Mike and Joe broke down what it’s like to work together as brothers. Now, in honor of Mike’s upcoming Christmas shows in... Boston, they share their favorite Christmas and Boston memories—from the time Joe broke the news about Santa to Mike to their time as busboys in high school when Joe came up with the idea for The Busboy Olympics™. Plus, America’s Guest breaks the news to Mike that they’re going skiing in March while Mike does shows in Colorado.  Please consider donating to: https://www.gbfb.org/

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I was busboy with this other guy who was at Tufts. And I remember saying to him, we should have busboy Olympics. You know? We should have the busboy Olympics. Busboy Olympics? We carry, like, trays and, like, glasses full of water. And he was just like, uh-huh, uh-huh. And then a couple days later, we're talking with someone, and everyone's ripping into me.
Starting point is 00:00:25 And the guy goes, yeah, and this guy thinks we should have Busboy Olympics. It's like, this guy sold me out. Oh, my God, that's so funny. He laid low. I know. That is the voice of Joe Birbiglia. Joseph Birbiglia, Joey Bag of Donuts. He's back.
Starting point is 00:00:44 This is a very special episode. Joe, you might remember, was on the show about a year ago. It was a huge success. People have talked about it for a year. So now he's back. And we're going to talk a lot about Boston and Christmas because I'm going to Boston for Christmas. I'm going to be at the Wilbur Theater. We just had a fifth and sixth performance at the Wilbur. We called the shows Christmas Parmesan because I'm going to Boston for Christmas. I'm going to be at the Wilbur Theater. We just had a fifth and sixth performance at the Wilbur. We called the shows Christmas Parmesan because I have a joke from the old man in the pool about how the theme of Christmas around our house growing up wasn't really religion or Jesus.
Starting point is 00:01:17 If anything, it was, I think, just sort of chicken parmesan. So we're having Christmas Parmesan at the Wilbur. We're super excited about it. So we talk, that's where Joe and I grew up, sort of outside Boston probably an hour away, in Shrewsbury and so we talk a lot about Boston
Starting point is 00:01:34 we tell stories about growing up we talk a lot about chicken Parmesan and all things Christmas next I'm going to London to the Wyndham's Theatre which is a gorgeous theatre in London. If you have friends or enemies in London, please spread the word. And that's going to be the finale of The Old Man and the Pool. And then there's going to be something maybe after
Starting point is 00:01:55 that. Who knows? Sign up for the mailing list on burbiggs.com. And I just announced some shows in the Pacific Northwest. I'm going to Seattle, Portland, Vancouver to all my Canadian friends who get so angry at me that I don't come to Canada enough. And I appreciate that. I appreciate that enthusiasm. But I hear you and I'm coming to Vancouver. And of course, I'm going to Walla Walla, where I have, if you don't know that story, listen to Sleepwalk With Me Live. So I have a great conversation with Joe Birbiglia. Boston, Christmas, chicken parmesan. Joe has some great, borderline unbelievable Boston stories from our childhood.
Starting point is 00:02:39 I think you'll love it. Enjoy my chat with the great Joseph Bagadonets Birbiglia. Enjoy my chat with the great Joseph Bagadonats-Prabiglia. I'm here with lifelong brother, longtime collaborator, Joseph Prabiglia as our guest today. Mike, it's great to be back. What's so funny? You pretending to be some kind of performer? Well, I joined the two-time club, right?
Starting point is 00:03:11 Jim Gaffigan. What else we got? Jenny's been on twice. Alex Edelman's been on three times. Otzko's been on three times. Ira Glass. Ira Glass is on twice. It's a big moment. Yeah, it's great to be back.
Starting point is 00:03:22 It was a wild year. We did Old Man in the Pool on Broadway. Mostly you did that, but I was there. No, but you worked on that a lot. I did, yeah. Just to give context, Joe and I have been working together, I'm going to say 20-plus years? Well, we've been working in official capacity 18 years.
Starting point is 00:03:44 18 years. 2006. But basically capacity 18 years. 18 years. But basically, since the moment I started doing stand-up, which was about 25 years ago in college, we were on the phone talking about jokes. Yeah, beating it out. And here we are again, except today, talking about jokes and stories about Christmas. Yeah. Particularly, and also I think maybe skiing, because there's two tours that we're announcing.
Starting point is 00:04:09 One is the Boston Christmas Parmesan shows. Yeah. At the Wilbur Theater where we're going to, I'm going to tell some Christmas stories, but also like it's just a new hour of standup. And then we're doing, we haven't officially named it yet, but it's the Joee berbiglia goes skiing mike berbiglia does comedy tour in colorado in march i'm all in and my wife is confused
Starting point is 00:04:32 this came out of an idea okay i think it's sort of a funny story which is uh you i was performing in salt in Salt Lake City in the spring. Yeah. And then you, which we sometimes call you America's guest. Yeah, okay. Because sometimes you'll invite yourself along to trips. Right. That's something you do.
Starting point is 00:04:54 But in this case of Salt Lake City, what happened? I don't recall. I slow rolled it. What do you mean you slow rolled it? Because you booked this date on a Friday in Salt Lake City in March, which is absolutely the perfect time to be out skiing in Utah. I mean, it's ideal. And I didn't want to be pushy or suggest, so I slow rolled it until you said,
Starting point is 00:05:20 why don't you come along to that one and after the show we'll do some skiing. What do you mean you slow rolled it? I didn't ask to go on that one, and after the show, we'll do some skiing. What do you mean you slow-rolled it? I didn't ask to go on that trip. You invited me. I waited until I was invited. How is that even slow-roll? I wasn't on a slow-roll. I played it cool.
Starting point is 00:05:34 I didn't push myself in on that one. So in other words, you didn't jump the gun, and the moment I booked Salt Lake City, you go, hey, you know, that'd be a perfect one for me to go on. Correct. There's some mountains there. Right. So it worked out. So I was glad it was your idea, and I really wanted to go also.
Starting point is 00:05:51 Right. Because in the past, like, for example, there was a trip that the Bob and Tom radio show did to the Bahamas. Oh, yeah. And you were like, I'd like to come along. Yeah. And, like, there's been, different places over the years. You're like a professional vacationer. So anyway, that's how we came up with the idea of,
Starting point is 00:06:12 I say to Joe, I go, here's what we should do. Next year, we should come to Colorado and plan a tour of Colorado. And then we'll ski and we'll call it the Joe Birbiglia Goes Skiing, Mike Birbiglia Performs Stand-Up Comedy Tour because people think
Starting point is 00:06:28 that's funny the way that this is, us talking about this now is pretty funny. It's ridiculous. Yeah. And also like, that's one of the things
Starting point is 00:06:35 I like most about the fact that we have our own company. We started this company like 18 years ago. We can just decide like that's the name of the tour
Starting point is 00:06:43 and then it just is. That's right. Like there's no corporation. I know. There's no running it up the flag. There's no flagpole. There is no flagpole. You are the flagpole.
Starting point is 00:06:51 I'm the flagpole. We're all, I'm the flagpole. We're all kind of various heights on the flagpole. Yeah. So, okay. So we're doing Christmas Parmesan and we're doing Joko skiing. You're getting a little more strategic with your tour booking. Sometimes I have to remind you, let's not book a week in Chicago in early February.
Starting point is 00:07:15 Yeah, or Fargo in Minneapolis. Hey, the highway's frozen. Oh, my God. You're bringing up a funny story. Frozen. Oh, my God. You're bringing up a funny story. Years ago, I did a show in Minneapolis, and then I think the next day was in Fargo, North Dakota.
Starting point is 00:07:34 And, yeah, I didn't really think that through. And the highway was fully frozen. And we were driving, I think, probably four hours or so. Yeah, we had a two-wheel drive suburban. Yeah. Which was not ideal. And yeah, there were jackknifed 18-wheelers all over the place on the highway. It was like Armageddon.
Starting point is 00:07:58 Imagine you're fleeing a city in an Armageddon situation, and you just see cars that are broken down along the highway, and you just go, we must leave you. Should we help? I'm so sorry. Should we help? No, we can't. We would help if we had any skills. If we...
Starting point is 00:08:15 Trust me. We have it in all the bars. If we had skills, we would help you in a second. I think there's going to be a Buffalo announcement soon. Yeah. Which is cool. But I was visiting our late grandmother in Buffalo, New York once, I think there's going to be a Buffalo announcement soon. Yeah. Which is cool. But I was visiting our late grandmother in Buffalo, New York once,
Starting point is 00:08:30 driving to Grandma's house, and it is what they call a whiteout on the road for an hour. It is the winter. I'm driving from Erie, Pennsylvania. I was doing the club, Junior's Last Laugh, a great club in Erie. I'm driving to Buffalo, full whiteout. Can't see a thing. Can't see 10 feet in front of me.
Starting point is 00:08:49 Yeah, yeah. And at one point I pull over and just stop because I'm like, well, I can't drive. Surely I can't drive, then I'll die. So I pull over and I'm stop. And I realized that all the cars going past are sliding towards me and they might hit me also. So if I stop, I'm going to die. And if I keep going, I might die. So both scenarios
Starting point is 00:09:13 are bad. Right. So, and, and I really, I mean, honestly, it was the closest I've come in my life to going like, oh, this is like, this, this could bad for me. Yeah. And I get to grandma's house and grandma McKenzie. And I'm like, grandma, the weather was crazy. This craziest storm. I've never seen anything like it. I want to turn on the news to watch the weather. I turn on the, like the six o'clock news, the weather. No mention of it.
Starting point is 00:09:42 Oh, geez. Wow. It's like, weather's fine today yeah that's what buffalo is and i remember it called you and you i go joe this crazy thing happened the storm and the whiteout and you go people shouldn't live there did i say that yeah yeah you know one time this is a funny road story from Ed Harrow. You know Ed from my college improv group. He's a great guy.
Starting point is 00:10:08 He was opening for me one time in the Midwest, and we had a flat. And this guy comes over to help us out. And did I ever tell you this story? No. ever tell you this story no and this guy's like literally he he like jacks the car and he's helping put a wheel on all the stuff he's underneath our car and he looks up and he goes y'all good with jesus i swear to god y'all good with jesus okay and we're we go absolutely we go, absolutely, we are. Amen. Absolutely. We love Jesus. Wow.
Starting point is 00:10:46 Yeah. And I always bring that up as like my best example of in a pinch, you'll lie about anything. Right. So we're talking about Boston today because we just announced Christmas Parmesan. Doing a whole bunch of shows in Boston. Wilbur Theater, the new hour, my new hour of comedy for Christmas. We grew up not in Boston, but in Worcester. Right. One hour away. One hour away. Felt like a thousand miles away. To me, it felt
Starting point is 00:11:36 exotic, Boston. Absolutely. It was the big city. Yeah. So this is a funny Boston story that you and I laugh about sometimes. I always say to people that the best type of comedy to me, this is just to me, is inside jokes. Sure. So you and I have one. Yeah. Which I've said to a couple people
Starting point is 00:11:59 and they think it's pretty funny, but I'll say on the podcast and we'll see if people think it's funny. When you and I, we were busboys at a restaurant in high school. Yes, yeah. And there was this, like a third busboy. Yeah. This dude who's probably about my age.
Starting point is 00:12:13 Yeah. He had a thick, thick Boston accent. He was really smart. He went to Boston Latin. He was a smart, smart guy, but he had a thick, thick Boston accent. Yeah. And he goes, we were talking about our dad, something to do with our dad having to go to the hospital,
Starting point is 00:12:30 blah, blah, blah, because our dad's a doctor. And out of nowhere, he looks at you and me and he goes, you think I give a care what your father does? Yeah. And I'm like, what? And both you and I are just looking at each other what what is happening yeah like did we miss something right like it's one of those moments where you go i don't know how to get out of this conversation yeah we just both go no we're talking about our dad and our
Starting point is 00:12:57 dad i don't know and then to this day yeah you and i have a code is, you think I'd give a care what your father does. Yeah. I always enjoy that one, yeah. I don't even know why it's funny. I just think it's so funny. First of all, give a care feels like a quintessential Boston phrase. Yeah. You think I'd give a care?
Starting point is 00:13:19 Yeah. That's accepted. That's an accepted turn of phrase. There's no logic to that sentence. You think I give a cat. Yeah. And then what your father does is very Boston because,
Starting point is 00:13:31 I think, because Massachusetts is very blue collar, white collar. Yes. And there's a lot of like, what's your father do? He's firefighter?
Starting point is 00:13:40 Right. Cop? Doctor? Lawyer? Teacher? Right. You know? Yeah. And yeah, give a cat what your father does. Right. Cop. Doctor. Lawyer. Teacher. Right. You know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:46 And yeah, give a care what your father does. Yeah. I always remember that job because I was busboy with this other guy who was at Tufts. And I remember saying to him, we should have busboy Olympics. You know? We should have the busboy Olympics. Busboy Olympics? And we carry like trays and like glasses full of water.
Starting point is 00:14:08 And, um, he was just like, uh-huh. Uh-huh. And then a couple of days later, we're talking with someone and everyone's ripping into me. And the guy goes, yeah. And this guy thinks we should have bus boy Olympics. It's like, it's like this guy sold me out. Oh my God. Sold me out on the bus boy olympics
Starting point is 00:14:25 he laid low I know he laid low he was humoring me and thought it was a good idea oh my gosh I stand by it oh that's huge
Starting point is 00:14:32 the bus boy olympics this guy thinks we should do the bus boy olympics it's like I wasn't being serious you know it was a bit having some fun
Starting point is 00:14:40 it was a bit yeah oh my gosh I remember that that restaurant where we waited tables. I loved the rolls at the restaurant. Like they had these white rolls that were like, they almost looked like little baseballs or something. They're like, they're so like nice. And I love bread to this day. I love bread so much. And when I discovered that the tins of rolls,
Starting point is 00:15:05 because we would bring rolls in baskets and we'd open the tin and it'd be warm. And I would just stuff, I'd have like eight, nine rolls. And then I'd go out and bring people their rolls and be like, everybody wins. I can one-up you that much. So that was like a seafood restaurant right in the water. And people would order baked stuff lobster.
Starting point is 00:15:28 Yeah. But a lot of people would order lobster and not know that there was lobster meat in the tail of the lobster. Oh, my gosh. It was clear. It was like a $65 dish. This is outrageous. So we're clearing tables, me and my friend Graham. tables, me and my friend Graham,
Starting point is 00:15:44 and we're bringing in these lobsters and just ripping the tails off right by the dishwashing station and eating lobster tails and then throwing the rest away on the spot. That's absurd. Did you ever do that? No, I don't like I, first of all, I wouldn't, I don't think I would do that.
Starting point is 00:16:00 Second of all, I don't eat fish. Would you drink a Heineken that the person had only one sip of? Is that something you did too? It's one sip. I remember there was a guy at that restaurant, and his name was Chuck. Remember this guy? I know Chuck. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:19 He was a professional waiter. Professional waiter. He was probably in his 40s, and we were teenagers. Yeah. And he would be there in Cape Cod in the summers, and then in the winters, he'd go to the Caribbean. He'd be a waiter in the Caribbean. He just liked to be where it was. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:32 It was nice. Natural server. And I loved him. Yeah. Nice guy. Yeah. And the reason I remember Chuck so well is that my first night on the job, I was putting water on people's table table and I was watering their
Starting point is 00:16:46 glasses and I dropped the pitcher of water on the table. It shattered glass between a couple on a date, a candlelit dinner. Awesome. And they were wet and there was glass all over. I mean, it was awful. And Chuck runs over and he helps out. He like cleans it up and it was like glass all over. I mean, it was awful. And Chuck runs over and he helps out. He like cleans it up and it was so professional. And we walk into the kitchen together
Starting point is 00:17:12 and I'm like almost in tears. And he goes, that was so fucking funny. He goes, did you see the look on their faces? That was fucking hilarious. I was like, I love this guy. Yeah, he's a great guy. But there's a funny memory that I was thinking of today about Boston. The Comedy Connection, which is the Wilbur, used to be at Faneuil Hall. Of course. You remember that? Yeah. And I was
Starting point is 00:17:35 talking about Faneuil Hall. And we used to grow up going to Faneuil Hall. And when I got out of college, there was a Comedy Central competition. Yes. It was called the Laugh Riots competition. Yes. Eugene Merman was in it. All these Boston comics were in it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:53 $10,000 for first place. Was it really? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So I was going to enter. It was New York, Boston, Chicago, LA. There was like 10 of them.
Starting point is 00:18:06 Yeah. And I go, this is so crazy. This is like, this would never happen in this era. This is like 2000, 2000, 2000, not even 2001. I just graduated from college. Yeah. I'm going between living in our parents' house in Massachusetts and living on our sister Gina's couch in Brooklyn.
Starting point is 00:18:24 Yeah. In Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn. Of course. I'm going back and forth and I call Comedy Central and I go, hey, I have a dilemma. The contest that you have is in Boston and it's also in New York. Yeah. And I don't know which one is the right one for me to enter in. Yeah. And the person on the phone said to me, you're going to want to enter in Boston. There's basically like 20 entries. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:54 And New York has like a thousand entries. Wow. So I entered. Loophole. I entered in Boston. I got into the finals. They were at Faneuil Hall, Comedy Connection. And then the winner was Eugene Mugene merman eugene won that yeah he won he won and then he went to the national finals or whatever it was
Starting point is 00:19:10 oh and then all the comics backstage were like we're like uh it's fixed eugene merman knows the people he knows the judges it was like all you guys, conspiracy theories at the comedy contest. Wow. Like, let's keep it down a little bit. Yeah. This is crazy.
Starting point is 00:19:29 That was a nice room up there, Comedy Connection. Yeah, gorgeous. So now that is, that's the same owner that moved to the Wilbur
Starting point is 00:19:37 and that's where my shows are. Amazing. For Christmas. So it's kind of a dream. It's kind of a dream to be doing a whole ton of sold out shows in Boston.
Starting point is 00:19:44 And so let's talk about Christmas because it's Christmas Parmesan. Oh my God. But that's another one, Christmas Parmesan. Yes. We called it Christmas Parmesan just because we have a joke in Old Man in the Pool about how, I think the joke is, it wasn't very religious Christmas for us. If anything, the theme was chicken Parmesan. Yes.
Starting point is 00:20:06 And then after that point, I just refer to Christmas as Christmas Parmesan in the show. It's actually one of my favorite types of jokes in the sense that there's no real punchline. Oh, yeah. People are just laughing out of recognition. I think people get it, too. They get it. So I was asking our sister Gina about it the other day. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:21 I go, like, do you remember anything from Christmas? She goes, well, Nick Naples, who we loved and was your godfather, your late godfather, I didn't remember this. He used to bring cannoli from the north end of Boston. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:20:34 And not only that. Like 24 a year. Oh, I would think he would bring like 40 of them. Oh, really? Yeah. And they were amazing. They're fantastic.
Starting point is 00:20:41 But at the same time, like cannoli, cannoli's not something everybody likes. So when the same time, like, cannoli is not something everybody likes. So when you show up with, like, 40 cannoli for 23 people, you're going to have leftover cannolis. There's a lot. So we would be eating them for days. Yeah, you're right. We used to go big on Christmas.
Starting point is 00:20:57 I think that's the reason why I always talk about it. Yeah. It's like we had boxes and boxes of decorations. A lot of swag, right? Yeah. It was like it's the only holiday you get out. Boxes of gear. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:08 There's a lot of merch. We had this huge wooden nativity scene. Yeah, it was wild. Of Jesus and the wise men. Yes. Well, I always go back to that. Shepherds. I always go back to that nativity scene because we had some really like oversized action figures.
Starting point is 00:21:25 Huge. Huge. And I think they were Italian. So we would just be like, all right, this has been in the family for generations. But we don't really know how many generations. I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:21:36 But also like we would kind of play with them too, right? Like they were sort of like action figures. And also, wouldn't they, they would get like a little more broken each year. Yes. Because of the playing.
Starting point is 00:21:47 Yes. Yeah, no, it's true. I wrote this joke last year about that nativity scene, which never ended up in the show, but I thought it was a funny point, which is like Joseph, the father of Jesus, really, really bad deal there. Very understanding. Very understanding. Very understanding. His girlfriend comes to him like,
Starting point is 00:22:14 hey, so we're not going to have sex, but I was talking to God. God was like, I should have a baby. The story bears further scrutiny. God was like, I should have a baby. The story bears further scrutiny. We can't have sex. Oh, so who wears the baby from? Well, God put the baby.
Starting point is 00:22:37 So you had sex with God? Sort of. I sort of had sex with God. I don't remember it. Yeah, yeah. So we went big on Christmas. But then in our 20s, our mom, who's like a very serious, kind, Christian person, takes the whole thing very seriously. She's like a model kind of religious person in a way that I very much respect.
Starting point is 00:23:02 It's not the way I've gone, but I respect. in a way that I very much respect. It's not the way I've gone, but I respect. She decided consumerism and Christmas is too much. Love it. Everyone can give each other a gift. Everyone, you know that this is going, everyone can give each other gifts. It must be less than $5 in value.
Starting point is 00:23:23 $5 in value. $5 in value. Yeah. Can anyone raise your hand if you can think of a gift that one could purchase? Yeah. She really pulled the e-brake on that thing. Because we really did have these 1980s excess. The theme of Christmas in the 1980s was a bit of excess. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:23:46 At our joint. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So it would be like bars of soap. It would be like Christmas cards. Do you remember your favorite gift? Well, I was a bit of a sleuth and a shark with gifts.
Starting point is 00:24:01 Yes. In that I knew all of our parents' hiding places for gifts. Yes, I remember when you showed me gifts. Yes. In that I knew all of my parents, our parents' hiding places for gifts. Yes, I remember when you showed me this. Yes. I actually remember very well. It was like a loss of innocence. You showed me where, you basically go,
Starting point is 00:24:16 hey, Mike, Santa Claus doesn't exist. I'm like, what do you mean? You're like, come right this way. I'll show you the workshop. You pushed aside, you pushed aside like a huge right this way. I'll show you the workshop. You pushed aside like a huge hutch. Yeah. And then you opened up the wall.
Starting point is 00:24:30 Yeah, it's a door. It's a doorway. Yeah, I know what you mean, like a compartment. It was a compartment. It wasn't a door. It was inside the wall where there's insulation. Yes. And bare wood.
Starting point is 00:24:41 And treasures. And treasures and all the Christmas presents. And you're like, mom and dad are Santa Claus and you just drop the mic. And it was a huge loss of innocence for me. Sorry. Because, you know, it was not unlike like being John Malkovich or something or the Matrix.
Starting point is 00:24:56 Okay. Where you're just like, I thought that's where a chest of drawers and a mirror was. I thought that's where that is. There's more to the story. And then you're like, let me push this chest of drawers and a mirror was. I thought that's where that is. There's more to the story. And then you're like, let me push this chest of drawers and mirror aside.
Starting point is 00:25:08 Here are all the Christmas presents that you thought were about to be given to us by a fictional thing called Santa Claus. Oh, yeah. No, but I mean, I was like 10 or something. Yeah, you were ready. I was ready, I was ready. I can remember knowing so much about our gifts
Starting point is 00:25:23 at a certain point that I had asked for the Nerf pool set. Okay. And I had found it. But then Santa forgot to bring it on Christmas and having to tell my mom, hey, I'm pretty sure Santa also got us a pool set. It's in the trunk of your car. And our mom would just be like, oh, yeah, you're right. That's in the car.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Let me go get it. Oh, my gosh. Can you recall like your favorite gift or outstanding gift you received in your life? So I always remember when we were about, I was about 13 years old, 14, we got a Duffer, which was our Carrie Blue Terrier. Yeah, dog.
Starting point is 00:25:59 Which was a fantastic dog. So that was very special. But one in particular I'm always recalling, it didn't occur to me until years later, is when I was 10 or 11, I got this Star Trek spaceship kind of thing. Okay. Which made a really loud beeping noise. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:14 And I absolutely loved it. And I ran around the house for hours, and I could tell that it drove our parents crazy, which made it even that much better. And I remember that afternoon of Christmas Day, it disappearing. And I just absolutely could not find it anywhere. Yeah. And it was gone.
Starting point is 00:26:35 And it wasn't until a year or two later, and I thought, I know where that damn spaceship is. My parents threw it in the garbage. Oh, my God. Right? That stands to reason. That's exactly what I would have done. Here's a joke I wrote about Christmas.
Starting point is 00:26:49 Everything you need to know about Christianity is summed up with Jesus and Santa Claus. Jesus is a painfully skinny socialist with no belongings. Santa Claus is a fat capitalist glutton who eats your cookies and hands out shitty presents made from China. Jesus is like, this is a parable. And Santa's like, pair of what? Better
Starting point is 00:27:06 be a pair of cupcakes because Santa likes to eat. By the way, do you mind if I take a nap on your roof? I'm drunk. Yeah. That's all I got. But it's true. It's like, it's bizarre that the holiday is based on this socialist man, Jesus, if you believe in that. And then the fictional fun man is Santa Claus, who's just like the epitome of gluttony. Yeah. The church never really tries to reconcile that. No. And then I also wrote down that our daughter doesn't believe in Santa Claus, but we were FaceTiming with her cousin and their cousin said, what did you ask for from Santa? And she looked at me and Jenny and winked. Like she's in on it.
Starting point is 00:27:55 Wow. By the way, I think she's a little on the young side for winking. Winking is basically like saying we're both lying together. Right? Right? That's funny. So it's like, we're both lying together. Right? Right? That's funny.
Starting point is 00:28:06 So it's like we won't lie to our daughter about Santa Claus, but it forces us to lie with our daughter to other kids about Santa Claus. Right, makes you complicit. I don't, both Jenny and I, we don't really believe in the lying to the kids thing. Right, right. Like I don't get the upside. Yeah. How long did you, your kids don't believe in in the lying to the kids thing. Right, right. Like, I don't get the upside. Yeah. How long did you, your kids don't believe in Santa, right?
Starting point is 00:28:29 My children are 16 and 14. Correct. That would be alarmed. There would be no reason to say it like that. Have you seen a picture of my kids lately? My son drives. this one drives so we're working on the new hour which is tentatively
Starting point is 00:28:51 I've never said this on the show tentatively titled Please Stop the Ride yes because it kind of incorporates some elements of the scrambler story yeah
Starting point is 00:28:59 and some flashbacks to childhood and how do you think it's going so far? great we talk about it all the time yeah it's what we talk about constantly I was listening to the Lev And how do you think it's going so far? Great. We talk about it all the time. Yeah. It's what we talk about constantly. I was listening to the Levittown performance. I thought it was great.
Starting point is 00:29:09 I think you did a couple stints in Providence, and it was not night and day, but I think you could really see it move along the continuum and get a lot stronger in the second run of shows. What's your favorite stuff in the new hour? Huh. What do you like the most? I feel like you like dishwasher doesn't wash dishes.
Starting point is 00:29:27 I really like that. Yeah. You're always like, this is you when I walk off stage. You always go, hey, why didn't you do dishwasher doesn't wash dishes? Because it's a crowd pleaser. I love that one. It's a crowd pleaser. Yeah, it's fun.
Starting point is 00:29:41 It's fun. And since this is working it out, just to bring people into the process of what we do is like a lot of times we'll just talk on the phone or on a Zoom for like a couple hours. What about this story? What about this story? What about this story? And a vast majority of what we talk about doesn't end up in the show. Yeah. Like that's what's crazy. I know. Probably for every show, for every old man in the pool, my girlfriend's boyfriend, thank God for jokes, sleepwalk with me,
Starting point is 00:30:13 there's got to be two, three hours of jokes and stories that just don't make it in. Yeah, it's hard to throw away hours and days of work like that. That's the nature of it. But just to put it in context of another creative we know and revere is Ira Glass. Always when he's doing This American Life, they have a wall just like this. A wall of stories that are for that theme, for that week.
Starting point is 00:30:40 Yeah. And half of them or two-thirds of them just go away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And those are like stories that people spent a lot of time on. Right. Hours and hours and hours. Totally. Incredible.
Starting point is 00:30:53 And they call that at This American Life on the staff, they call that killing a story. And they say they take a lot of joy in killing a story because it means that that episode is going to be that much better. Okay. And that's how we have to look at it, even though it's tough. Yeah. I mean, we have jokes where we're like, that's a great joke.
Starting point is 00:31:13 It just doesn't fit in. I know. It doesn't fit in the hour. Yeah. But then a lot of times those come back later. Yeah. I feel like this will give people an insight into sort of how these shows arrive the way they do.
Starting point is 00:31:25 The old man in the pool and the new one and sleepwalking with my girlfriend's boyfriend. It's like all these cards that are on the walls and stuff. Essentially, all of these things start as single jokes. Yeah. And then they become a story. And then they become a story sort of with an ending or a point of some kind yeah and then there's maybe 10 or 15 or 20 of them and then there starts to become like that's a theme this fits that theme this fits that thing this fits that theme and then all of a sudden it's
Starting point is 00:31:56 like oh and then what if the whole thing is leading towards one main story yeah and and sort of the phase that we're at right now, which is like we just got tons of jokes and stories on the wall. So whenever someone close to me says like, oh, that story from the bus is an example of this other thing, I'm like, oh, that's so great. Such a great point.
Starting point is 00:32:18 I do like that story too, the bus story. It was fun. I liken it often to it's almost like playing a board game like a categories or something like that it's like make it's about making connections yeah and just like lacing it together uh my my contention about whether it's stand-up or any kind of like storytelling art anything yeah is obsession right if you're obsessed with the thing yeah then people in the audience will be obsessed with the thing if you're not obsessed with the thing you're nowhere right and i feel like my
Starting point is 00:32:51 obsession currently is some combination of like being married yeah and realizing that so many things yeah in adulthood are really analogous to childhood. I agree. I mean, one of the things about the show that I'm sort of grappling with, I actually said this to Ira Glass the other day, cause he saw a version of it. And I was like, I wonder if it's too much about like
Starting point is 00:33:18 being married and having a child and that's not relatable to people. And Ira said, he goes, no, no. He is, so many people are in relationships. So many people have kids and so many people can see it through the lens of being kids. So like you're, as long as your stories are well-rounded in terms of, like, seeing all the perspectives in the story, I think you're okay.
Starting point is 00:34:11 The final segment is working out for a cause. Is there an organization that you like to contribute to? I think in light of your shows upcoming in Boston, we should do the Greater Boston Food Bank. Yes, Greater Boston Food Bank. We always try to contribute to food banks. We've contributed to a lot of them over the years. So I read their mail they send.
Starting point is 00:34:28 They really know how to stretch a dollar. It's unbelievable what they can do, how many meals these food banks can create for giving $50, $100, whatever you can give. Greater Boston Food Bank, thank you, Joe, for being on the podcast. Returning champion, I think we might see a third one in our future. Yeah, well, thanks. It's been fantastic. Thank you for having me today. That's going to do it for another
Starting point is 00:35:00 episode of Working It Out. I love talking to Joe Birbiglia, my brother Joe. You can follow him on Instagram at jbirbiglia, and you can watch the full video of this interview on our YouTube channel,
Starting point is 00:35:12 Mike Birbiglia YouTube channel. Check it out. Get all of the facial expressions and physical act-outs that you just don't get from the audio. If you're over there, just click subscribe
Starting point is 00:35:26 because we're able, the more you subscribe, the more stuff we'll make for that channel. Check out burbiglia.com, sign up for the mailing list to be the first to know about my upcoming shows. Our producers of Working It Out Are Myself, along with Peter Salamone and Joseph Burbiglia, associate producer Mabel Lewis, consulting producer Seth Barish, assistant producer Gary Simons, sound mix by Shubh Saran, supervising engineer Kate Belinsky, special thanks to Marissa Hurwitz,
Starting point is 00:35:52 Josh Upfall, David Raphael, and Nina Quick, my consiglieres Mike Berkowitz, special thanks to Jack Andenhoff and Bleachers for their music, special thanks to my wife, the poet J. Hope Stein, her book, Little Astronaut, a beautiful poetry book, is in bookstores or available online.
Starting point is 00:36:08 Special thanks, as always, to our daughter Una, who built the original radio fort made of pillows. And thanks most of all to you who are listening. We really appreciate it. If you're enjoying the show, tell your friends. Rate it and review it on Apple Podcasts. It really helps out. Tell your friends, tell your enemies.
Starting point is 00:36:23 You think I give a care what you think of this podcast? See you next time, everybody.

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