Mike Birbiglia's Working It Out - 154. Fortune Feimster: Don't Borrow Trouble

Episode Date: December 16, 2024

Hot off her new Netflix special Crushing It, Fortune Feimster sits down with Mike for a candid chat about telling personal stories on stage, dealing with audience complaints, and Fortune’s coming out journey. Fortune also explains her dynamic with her Handsome podcast co-hosts Tig Notaro and Mae Martin, and she and Mike discuss why fancy doorbells and ice crushing machines are symbols of wealth.Please consider donating to Girls Inc.

Have you ever had jokes in your specials or your tour where people have pushed back on it and said, hey, I wish you wouldn't talk about this? I am gay, that's just part of who I am. I'm not setting out to tell gay stories. It is just like, I'm telling you a story about being married, I happen to be gay. So that's just going to be part of it. Right. But because I'm gay, I'm telling, according to this person, I'm now telling a gay story. Really? Yeah.

So they were like, too many gay stories. You're just like shoving it down everyone's throats. And she goes, and your merch was gay. And it was too gay. What's your merch? That makes me wonder, what's your merch? Just all this, everything's gay. That is the voice of the great Fortune Feimster. Love Fortune.

We wanted to have her on for so long. Awesome comic, great storyteller, improviser, actor. You might know her from The Handsome Podcast, which she co-hosts with Tig Notaro and Mae Martin Tig, who you've heard on here. Mae, who I really hope will hear on here in the future. Or you might know her from Netflix as a Joke Radio. She co-hosts the show with Tom Papa.

Fortune's a riot. She has a new special out on Netflix called Crushing It. And indeed this special is crushing it. Love the special. Yeah, we have a great talk today about how to be a storyteller and stand up, especially when you're starting out, you're getting five minute spots

and it's not long enough to win over the crowd and do a story. And it's just, it's really cool conversation. If you're able to see Fortune on tour, you should absolutely do it. She just announced this week her tour, which is called Taking Care of Biscuits. Love the title.

Thanks everybody who came out to my shows this week. I was all across Kentucky, Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, definitely donate if you can to the Man of Food Bank and other relief organizations in Asheville and other parts of North Carolina. They're doing great, but they still could use your help. Love visiting there. That's gonna do it for my shows in 2024.

Thank you everybody who came out to see the show. We are nearing our finale in March at the Beacon Theater, which is gonna be called The Good Life. The Police Off the Ride Tour has been almost 70 cities. We have about 10 left. I'll be in Iowa City in January at the Engler Theater, which I love, which is at a third show on January 11th. Instead of trekking all over the Midwest,

I'm staying three nights in Iowa City. You know why? Selfish. Love that town. Great town. Beautiful. One of America's gems. February 1st, I'm in Pickering in Ontario at the Pickering Casino Resort, which looks really cool. February 4th and 5th, I'm in Baltimore.

Baltimore Center Stage, which Ira Glass has told me is where he grew up going to see theater. So I'm really excited for that. It's like a cool little intimate 500 seat theater in Baltimore. February 21, I'm in Northampton. Feb 23, I'm in Burlington, Vermont. I love this chat with Fortune Feimster today.

We break down a few of the specific stories in her special, Crushing It on Netflix, including her honeymoon with her wife to a place where it is technically illegal to be gay. We talk about that. We talk about growing up in an allegedly haunted house, which sounds actually haunted if you believe in that sort of thing.

She talks about her journey of coming out. It was great to have an in-depth conversation with her. She's a very warm person, very funny person. I think you're gonna love my conversation with the great Fortune Feimster. -♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ago, and you realized, I think you realized on the flight to Maldives that it's illegal to be gay in Maldives. You must get the question of how was that not researched

in advance of the honeymoon. Mike, that kind of sums me up to a T, I think, where I'm just like, yeah, let's go do this. And this is fun. Then it's when I go, oh wait, let me, what are we doing exactly? We'll look into this. Yeah, it was just, my wife had always wanted to go there.

You see those pictures of like those little bungalows on the water. I was just like, let's go on an adventure. And you know, the truth of the story is that it was fine. I was just like, let's go on an adventure. And the truth of the story is that it was fine. We were good. And probably most people are. But the under part of the story, there's always kind of an under part,

is that if someone had a bad day that's in a position of power, it could not be good for us. that's in a position of power, it could not be good for us. So that's the undercurrent of it, but I focus on the positive. Well, it's interesting, the Netflix description of your special is like, it is a joyous say, like, that is a rarity in comedy and you must get that a lot. It's like, you're very funny, you're very biting, but also you're fun and like having a good time.

Yeah, I think that is the thing I want people to also do is to have a good time. Yeah. So if I'm having a good time, my hope is that it will rub off on the people watching. But honestly, that's my perspective. I'm a positive person. It's not put on.

It's not forced. I genuinely wake up glass half full. Most of the time, not every day. But I know so many people that don't and that, and I know what a challenge it is for some people to even see it half full or a third full. So like to have that be my natural state, 90% of the time, I know I'm lucky. Did you develop that over the years? I think so. I think part is nature. I think so. I think part is nature.

And then part is just like overcoming stuff at a young age. Yeah. And coming out and finally being happy with who I am and living my truth. And it just made everything else sort of feel less important. Like I've overcome stuff in childhood that was harder, like everyone has. And I got through that and now I can take care of myself. And I'm independent and I don't have to rely on anyone. And I'll figure it out if it's hard. I'll get through it. I think it's just that kind of thing now.

At the end of your special you have this great footage with your mom. At, I think, the Comedy Zone in Charlotte? Great club. Have you started? No, I actually didn't start comedy until I moved to Los Angeles. Oh, no kidding. Yeah, I moved there in 2003. Started at the Growlings first in 05, and then stand up at the Comedy Store in the Belly Room in 07.

Oh, no kidding. So did you start Groundlings Improv or Sketch or both? Yeah, that's where I started. It was Improv first. Wow. And then that led into Sketch. I started my own group because it was so hard at the time to get any stage time. And I was like, how are we going to go through this very challenging competitive school

if we aren't performing? That doesn't make any sense to me. Now they have all kinds of opportunities for people to perform. That was not the case back then. I heard that you had taken stand-up class. Was it there? No, the stand-up class was through this guy, Adam Barnhart, at the Comedy Store. It wasn't at the store, but we took a class, I can't remember where it was, it was like six weeks, once a week, and then at the end of the class, you performed in the Belly Room. That's interesting.

And I was like, oh my God, the Comedy Store. Like, I'm going to get to perform there. And you know, the show is like the most supportive show ever. All your friends that just love you and want you to do well. So I did it and I was like, I love stand up. This is the greatest thing ever. And he let me, he ran a show every Sunday night in the Belly Room and he let me do the music and in return, I got 10 minutes after my class He ran a show every Sunday night in the Belly Room

and he let me do the music. And in return, I got 10 minutes after my class ended. For a year, I got 10 minutes every Sunday night as a brand new comic. So it allowed me to really develop a lot faster than I think I would have normally. Right, the consistency of doing something. I had the same thing when I was probably 20 years old. I used to go to an open mic every Thursday at the Best Western in Virginia. Oh yeah? Every Thursday.

But I wouldn't always get on because you have to draw, lottery. In LA you had to bring like ten friends. So I started joining all these, not, I didn't do it for this reason, but it helped, but it was like, I remember it was like a year of like, I'm going to meet people and make friends because LA was a tricky place to meet people. So I like went on Craigslist and joined like a softball league and a tennis team and a soccer league.

I took like an African drumming class that was like every week. I did all these things to like meet people. This is when you moved to LA? Yeah, and to like broaden my horizons. And then by the time I started stand-up, I had all these little groups of friends from all these different activities I've been doing. And they were like, yeah, we'll come see your show.

That also helped me kind of move up the ladder quicker. Right. All these activity groups. Yeah, they were just like, that sounds fun. That also helped me kind of move up the ladder quicker. Right, all these activity groups. Yeah, they were just like, that sounds fun. When you were starting out, would you tell stories about coming out or the debutante stuff? Like the things that were harder to talk about? Were you able to find comedy in that? Yeah, I think I... It's funny, I came out in 2005, which seems crazy because I was 25.

And that seems so late to me. And I'm definitely someone who everyone else knew, but me. Right, last to get the note. My joke was that my hair knew I was gay before I did. So I think I just, it was a year of, I came out and started groundlings classes the same time and it was this, it's funny that they came simultaneously because I felt like I was sort of entering

into a new version of myself. And so I had this like weight, huge weight lifted off my shoulders and I felt a sense of happiness. I don't know that I'd ever felt. You know, in high school, everything just felt a hair off. Something's different about me.

I don't know what it is. No guys like me in a romantic way. I don't know why. I'm always getting rejected. Not even trying. I just immediately meet a man and we're like high-fiving. It's a rejection, you know, of like, in a way that's not overt.

They're not saying no to me, but there's no like, are we going to go on a date? Like, you know what I mean? So you go through life feeling sort of like, something's missing, am I enough? And then you go, oh my God, I'm gay. Like, that's the missing puzzle piece. And suddenly I just was like, now I'm really happy.

I feel really good. And then I started comedy and I just channeled it all into that. That's beautiful. So I just started telling stories that had this tent of like, I'm talking about difficult things, coming out is difficult, telling your parents you're gay is difficult, but I had this like, but I did it. But I did it, yeah. You know what I mean?

But I did it, yeah. That's what I always say. My favorite comedy is like, it's a bunch of sad stuff, and then, but it's funny. Yeah, yeah. And so it just allowed me to talk about that journey in a way that was like, I'm okay. Like, I told my family and they were cool, thank God.

But I was scared. I was scared to lose them, but that's not what I'm focused on. I'm focused on that they were cool with it. So yeah, it just allowed me to kind of start this new journey and talk about things as I went. And was sort of, I was discovering how to be gay. Even if you are gay, you don't necessarily know how to be gay.

I was kind of like, I'm gay? Now what? Yeah, sure. Yeah, so it was an interesting thing having those two things be simultaneous. But the stories in the beginning were shorter. I like my first joke that kind of hit with people was me saying, I think it was, I came out later in life, I was so intense when I was in high school, my mom would be like,

I don't understand why you get so upset when your friend Michelle goes out on a date with a guy. And I was like, because she's my best friend. I love that. So I was just taking that, like, that was painful. But it's so funny now, now that I know why I was just taking that, like, that was painful. But it's so funny now, now that I know why I was so intense. But I didn't know why I was thin.

It's funny though, you're saying like 25 is late, but at the same time it's like, things that I did when I was 25, I look back and go, oh my God, I was so young. I know, I truly feel like I was a different person. It is a whole other lifetime. I don't even relate to me at 24, me at 25. You have this hit podcast with Tig and May. That must be so fun. Gosh, I don't know. I met Tig years ago as well, but I didn't know her very well. And I was always kind of intimidated by her because she just has this kind of like, you know...

I'm still intimidated by her. Yeah, like she doesn't really suffer from fools, but also loves fools, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good way to put it. So, yeah, it took me a minute to just like be normal around her. And then we had this like moment. It was right before I met my now wife where I was like so over dating and I just, you know, it was hard to meet somebody

and we had this dinner with a mutual friend and I had this sort of like real moment with the group of like, I'm lonely. You know where you have one of those dinners where you just like spill your guts out. Yeah, where you almost like can't help it. I had that dinner with her and after that, we just cut right to the chase

and had like real conversations. Yeah, she'll go there. Yeah, where you just are like, yeah, we don't need that like, that sort of like, small talk thing anymore. Like, let's just cut to the chase. And then when she reached out, and then, so I'd see, we'd see each other socially over years

and then she reached out about wanting to do a podcast and I was like, oh my God, now that would be fun because May's in their 30s, I'm in my 40s, Tig's in her 50s, so we're kind of coming from a different era. And we're getting asked a question and we don't know what it's going to be. And it allows us all to answer it in a way that we're seeing it from totally different

perspectives. And at any given moment, one of us has no clue what the other one's talking about. And people are like yelling at their phones like, how do you not know what this thing is? Yeah. Do you have a line in your special where you talk about being married and you go, people know what this thing is. You have a line in your special where you talk about being married and you go, people say, don't go to bed angry.

Go to bed angry, bears do it. That's a funny joke, but That's why they hibernate. They don't want to deal with it. Do you ask, have you had that have a good outcome? You've gone to bed angry with your wife and woken up and it's like things are good. I think it depends on who you're with, right? There's some people that are like, we are working this out now. Why have a bad night's sleep? But my wife is such that if you let her be, she really does like process it.

She needs to like walk away. And I used to think that like it was infuriating. I'd be like, what? In the middle of a fight, you know? And like, it was just, I learned that that's how she chilled out. Like, kind of, if she, like, especially if she was kind of being unreasonable on the thing, it let her go. Most of the time. Let's be honest. We're among friends.

She would not agree with that. She would argue that I did something to annoy her. Sure, sure. Which is probably true. Especially if it involved cleaning. She would argue that I did something to annoy her, which is probably true, especially if it involved cleaning. Especially if it involved house cleaning, which is not my strong suit. But yeah, she just needs a minute. And once I learned, just let her be, she'll come back down 30 minutes, And it is like dealing with another person. She's chill. She's good.

We like sort it out in a like chiller way. And so for me, yeah, going to bed angry was fine. It's okay. It's okay. I wonder why that's the cliché, don't go to bed angry. I mean, it is a thing they say at weddings a lot. It's like a piece of advice for married couples. I wonder why that's the cliche, don't go to bed angry. I mean, it is a thing they say at weddings a lot. It's like a piece of advice for married couples.

I guess the bigger thing is like, don't sweep things into the rug and let it fester. I agree. morning and like the problem solved. It's just that we're in a better space to talk about it than when we were heated. So I don't want to sweep it under the rug totally, but I also don't want to like fight, fight. Right. You and I have this thing in common, which is, in your specialty, you talk about how rich people

when you were young have like ice crushers. That's right. Crushed ice machines. That means you're rich. So mine was, an old man in the pool, That's right, crushed ice machines. You're rich. Rich people would have the doorbell chimes. Those people are rich.

Neither of those things really indicate even being rich. And somehow in your mind, why are those two things, rich people things? The doorbell and the ice crushing. I think it's just, what is the thing you really don't need? You really don't need. It's just, it's, I don't think too, like if you grow up with not much money, anything that's outside of the norm feels extravagant. Yeah. And so, yeah, we had my, my fridge and freezer had the trays.

Yeah. I had to work for that ice. Oh yeah. I had to take for that ice. I had to take that tray, put water in it, spill it across the kitchen floor, put it in the freezer where it spilled half way, and you got like half cubes. And I had to do it over and over and over. You're telling me a machine is going to do this for me? That's rich. You're, so you have all these stories,

so you have this honeymoon story that I think is hilarious. How much do you exaggerate in a story versus, like what's your line? Yeah. Well, every story that I tell is, happened. Yeah. It is, the whole story, like all this stuff with my mom, those phone calls happened. Yeah. She fell in a cemetery. She drove off a cliff. The whole story, like all the stuff with my mom, those phone calls happened.

She fell in the cemetery, she drove off a cliff, all these things happen. I do the, the embellishing comes with the punch lines. You know, like I'm gonna have her say something funnier than like the mundane things she said on the phone, you know? So for me, it's like, I'm gonna take this thing that happened and like, how can I make it so that people listen to it for eight minutes, you know?

If my mom's telling it for eight minutes, good luck. Good luck. So I'm like, what can I do to structure this in a way that's like where I'm taking you on this little journey. So I have to set it up in a way that's more than what she told me. Like, you know, this happened and then this happened and then I create this tension. But we figure it out, you know, she figures it out this way. Yeah, so the embellishment is like,

for example, when I talk about her driving off a cliff, in the real story, she's like, you know, I drove off a cliff. Like, that's it, you know? And that's funny, but it doesn't give it the, you know, thing you need. You try to, as you know, the end of these stories give it a little, mm. So I wrote, because she's said this many times in life, and I'm like, well, this is the thing she says all the time. I'm going to tag it with this, which is,

it was bound to happen one of these days. So it's just like, yeah, giving some life to it. And that's where the embellishment comes, is just making it funnier. Do you feel like there's any part of your life Yeah, just making it funnier. Do you feel like there's any part of your life you haven't talked about on stage yet that you have like a block against or you're just not ready to go there? Um, I don't reveal super personal stuff about my relationship. There's not a lot that is there as far as secrets or hardships.

There's not a lot that is there as far as like secrets or hardships. But I don't like, I'm not mining it in a way where I'm like, what are all the things I can talk about in my relationship? I tell like, us fighting on a train in a quiet car, like that was funny. Right. But I'm not like dissecting our marriage. Sure. So I'm not, I haven't gone to that extent with that.

I don't know. My grandmother, I'm not really... Like she was someone who helped raise me and was like a really important part of my life. And she died of cancer when I was 18 and she waited for me to go to college. I mean, it's weird to say she waited to pass away, but that was kind of what the hoity-toity people

in my life felt, which I agree with. So that was a very difficult part of my life that I think changed me. And I haven't really ever dug into that just because I'm past the sadness for the most part, even though I miss her, but I just haven't found a way to like, what's the funny part of it?

Because you were so close with her. Yeah, and just watching someone you love, who was, like, she was such a, like, everything to me. Seeing her be sick and die was, just sticks with me in a way that I haven't been able to be like, that was hilarious, that giving her morphine at night, you know? So yeah, I don't know if... But I also love her and what she did for me.

And she was who wanted my mom to name me Fortune. And my mom thought it was too big of a name. And so like, I started, Fortune's my middle name and it's what I started going by when I started comedy as a nod to her, my little Carol Burnett ear tug. And then I just quickly realized that I am Fortune. I don't really resonate with my first name. And yeah, she just was a big part of like helping me get to that point.

I just felt like she kind of knew me before I knew myself. She like saw something in me long before I could see any value there. She was so like on my team. You know, just like that unconditional love. And yeah, so I'd love to like at some point dig into that, but I don't know what that looks like, you know? Well, that, well, certainly that's what you, I mean, I don't, obviously, I didn't know your grandmother,

but you exude that. Mm-hmm. Oh, thank you. You exude like a calm. Mm-hmm. I feel like when I watch your specials, it's like you just, Oh, thank you. I don't know where they are. And I feel like you're really present with your crowds. So this is a slow round. Can you remember a time in your life where you were an inauthentic version of yourself? When I was in the closet?

Yeah. All the time. Yeah. But not knowing, you know? Yeah. I wasn't doing it on purpose. But I think about those times of like trying to like men in that way. I love men.

I have so many guy friends. I have two older brothers. So it was never like I don't genuinely like men, but just trying to have that rapport with them in a way that's like where your pheromones are supposed to be talking with each other. It was a very awkward time for me. And yeah, just trying to be like, oh yeah, he's, oh boy, he's cute. Yeah, you know, it just felt so forced then.

And then like trying to dress girlier, more feminine, that felt so inauthentic. I look back at some of those outfits and, whew, not great. And my mom waited on that. And the debutante stuff no less where the outfits are really specifically fancy. Yeah, my mom would take me shopping to the old lady stores. So everything had shoulder pads. It's really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, I'm trying to be a more feminine girl, but I just look like a six-year-old woman that's like homely and doesn't know how to dress. That felt very inauthentic.

Do you remember a time in your life where you laughed, but you weren't supposed to? Oh my gosh, like all the time. I laugh when I'm uncomfortable. I mean, I laugh all the time anyway. It's not just when I'm uncomfortable. I mean, I laugh all the time anyway. It's not just when I'm uncomfortable,

but I have laughed at times when things have been revealed that are not funny. And I don't know why I can't pull up just say to the person, like, I'm laughing because I'm uncomfortable. Right. Oh, that's a good way to address it. I did kiss someone once and laugh. And that did not go over well. And you laughed because you just were like, oh, this isn't quite right.

Yeah. Yeah. It was long, long, long time ago. And I don't know why I just started laughing. In hindsight, it was not someone that, you know, I was kind of just how you do when you're young like, Oh, I guess we'll kiss. And like, like we're kind of into each other, but not really. We don't really know each other.

And then I think the like responsible part of my brain goes, what are you doing? Like you don't really know this person. And then I just juggled. And yeah, that ended that. There's no real coming back from that. Right, right. Yeah.

I thought I could kind of be like, hey, never mind, let's, and coming back from that. I thought I could kind of be like, hey, nevermind, let's, and it doesn't work. What's the best piece of advice anyone's giving you that you used? Two pieces of advice, which is funny because one involves my mom and one involves my wife, and both of them are the whole subject of my special. My mom's advice to me, I used to worry all the time. Like I think my brain would just go in overdrive, I would have a hard time sleeping. Like this is more like college.

And just always worried to the point where it would make me sick. And I didn't know how to shake it. And my mom would remind me, she would say, don't borrow trouble. Because I was always worrying about what could happen. She'd always be like, why are you worrying? Don't borrow that trouble. It hasn't even happened. It may never happen.

You're worried about nothing. And so that finally sunk in when I moved to LA and I just let it go. Like I just let go. And now I think I need to worry more. I'm like the complete opposite of it, but I just sort of really took that to heart. And so I remember that a lot.

And then I had someone tell me once when it came to relationships, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? And I was like, oh, that's stuck with me because there was a long time, a long period of time where I was determined to be right and to prove that I was right about this thing. And I'm like, after a while you're like,

what is that getting me? Sometimes you get the victory of being right, but at what cost? So this is a section of the show where we work out material, new jokes. Do you have any new jokes that you're working on? I'm like in the thick of trying to figure out everything. So I don't, I don't really come up with a narrative until I'm like halfway through the tour. So right now it's just like I'm going through stories of like, like childhood stories right now. Cause I always love kind of digging into those. Every special I've done has at least one or two throwbacks to childhood.

So I'm working on one. My mom was my troop leader when I was in Girl Scouts, and we were five years old, and she decided to take our Girl Scout troop to a haunted house. And it was like a screaming bloody murder for, you know, every room got worse and worse and worse. And just like to the point where midway through the haunted house, they had to turn the lights on and stop. They had to stop the haunted house.

You broke the haunted house. Turn the lights on. In hopes of showing us that it's not real, but all it did was, before we were just afraid of the sounds, now we can see blood, now we can see chainsaws, so it just made it like 10 times worse. Yeah, and it almost kind of affirms your paranoia about it

that like we needed to turn the lights on because maybe it was going to get worse and we would be murdered by the characters. And just us climbing on top of my dad and my brothers just could not get any reprieve from our just being terrified. You talk about the haunted house. So you had, in your specialty, you talk about having, like, growing up in kind of the most notoriously haunted house in your town.

Yeah. I mean, for me, it stoked the question. Do you believe in ghosts? It's funny because I do, but I've never seen one. You know what I mean? Right. I mean, you could say that about people's belief in God. Sure.

My mom swears that she's had these experiences and my mom is quirky, as you can see from watching my special, but I've never seen one. I think I believe in ghosts. But the jury's out. Yeah, sure. So digging into that and then, yeah, like, you know, it's building every story and start. I like I did a show in Charlotte last week at the Comedy Zone where I because I it's a local crowd. They know me.

They give me a little bit more grace. So I say to them, you know, I'm gonna just tell you what happened. And so for the first chunk of the show, I just told them this is what happened. And I see from their reactions what's interesting to them. Yeah. You do see from people's reaction,

even just smiling or cringing or whatever it is, you kind of see what's there and what's not there. Yeah, and if it's a lot of silence in a way that's not just like, we're listening, but it's more like, you're like, okay, I'm going to shy away from that part of the story. Maybe that's the, you know, trim the fat there. Well, it's funny, like, I shouldn't do this, but every now and then I'll look on, you know,

user reviews of my shows. Someone recently said, because I talk a lot about this show, about religion, and someone wrote in a user review, like, I walked out of the show, maybe it was in like Detroit or something, it was like a few weeks ago. I walked out of the show because they were like, I can take a few jokes about religion, but it was too much Catholic bashing. It's funny, because I don't perceive myself that way. I don't perceive, I perceive myself as a comedian playing devil's advocate to things that are institutional.

Because there's a billion and a half people in the world who are Catholic, and I was raised Catholic. So I feel like, yeah, that's an institution you could poke fun at. But it's tough when you get that kind of feedback. So I've been working on this joke that I think I've talked about on this podcast before where I go, I'm raising my daughter, I'm trying to figure out how to raise her, what religion. I don't really feel like I want to raise her Catholic,

but I also don't want to raise her to be an atheist, because what's that? Like, grandma's dead and there's no further information at this time, you know what I mean? Like, that doesn't feel hopeful. And then... Yeah, you do like some hope. Yeah, yeah, some kind of tinge of positivity.

And then people will ding me for that. They'll go, atheism is positive, blah, blah, blah. All right, no, I know, I know it's positive. You're like, I'm making jokes. Yeah, yeah, I know, exactly. But then the joke I started doing a month or two ago is about how I do admire my friends who pray. My mom prays, and I go,

my Muslim friends prays and I go, my Muslim friends pray five times a day, which I just think, you know, that I can't get myself to drink water five times a day. You're talking to a fake, fake person. And then I say to the audience, I go, yeah, I'm not saying it's a fake person. I'm just saying like, if you're praying five times a day,

chances are one out of those five times, you're thinking, this isn't real. And that's not anti-religion, that's pro-statistics. So I've been doing that. But have you ever had jokes in your specials or your tour where people have pushed back on it and said, hey, I wish you wouldn't talk about this? Yeah, I think it's interesting.

I don't usually seek out the comments. I think it's interesting. I don't usually seek out the comments. And of course I shouldn't. Occasionally people email me or DM me because they want me to know how they feel and that's fine. Many people say lovely things and then you get a handful of others. Because I think I did a show where part of the theaters deal was they had like season ticket holders so they get a certain amount for their people. I've had this kind of thing, sure.

And so I've gotten emails from people like that who didn't know who I was or they weren't familiar with my material. Now, I am gay. That's just part of who I was or they weren't familiar with my material. Now, I am gay. That's just part of who I am. So any... I'm not setting out to tell gay stories. It is just like I'm telling you a story about being married. I happen to be gay.

Right. So that's just going to be part of it. Right. But if a straight person told you a married story, they're just telling you a story about marriage, but because I'm gay, I'm telling, I'm according to this person, I'm now telling a gay story. Really? Yeah, so they were like, too many gay stories.

Oh my gosh. And you're just shoving it down everyone's throats. And I'm like, and I think, and she goes, and your merch was gay, And it was too gay. What's your merch? That makes me wonder what's your merch? Just all this, everything's gay. I want some of that gay merch.

What is it? In her defense, there is one very gay shirt and it says lesbian swimsuit. That is very gay shirt and it says lesbian swimsuit. That is very gay. Because I tell a joke in a special about how I swim with a t-shirt cut off and a pair of sweatpants. That's my lesbian swimsuit. So I sell a shirt that says lesbian swimsuit, but literally every other piece of merch is like,

the name of my tour was Live, Laugh, Love. And then I is like, the name of my tour was Live, Laugh, Love. I think I had Good Fortune, which was the name of my last special, and a rainbow. So to her that's very gay. So I just thought that was a funny criticism. Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania. Yeah, but in a more rural area that I'm not. I would guess central PA. Yeah, I had not done that area before.

And I just thought that was such a funny, and other people have said that, I've seen that before, like stop being so gay or stop talking about gay stuff. And I'm just like, I'm just telling you who I am. I'm not like talking about, I don't even know what would be considered a gay story. But anything I-

Well, if you came out on stage and said, you all should be gay. Yeah, that would be different. You should all- But any story I tell you about my life is gonna have a gay tent to it, just by the fact that I have a wife. Sure, it's your story.

Yes, my story. You're a storyteller. Yeah, so I just thought that was funny. Man! That's wild. But when she started talking about all the gay merch, I was like, all right, It's your story. I have a like, God. Well, this has been lovely. The last thing we do is we do working out for cause. And if there's a nonprofit that you like to contribute to, we will contribute to them.

We'll link to them in the show notes and encourage people to contribute as well. Okay, awesome. There's an organization called Girls Inc. It's a very cool organization that helps girls in areas where they're not getting the money that they need or it helps them go to school, helps them get books. It has after school programs where it focuses on building the girls in communities and just giving them, helping them find their voice.

It's a very cool organization that helps them. That's awesome. I love that. We'll contribute to Girls Inc. Awesome. We'll link to them in the show notes. Fortune, this is such a pleasure. Mike, thanks for having me.

Continued hilarity and joy that you bring to the earth. I appreciate that. Thank you. This was great. on Netflix, she is indeed crushing it. Her Instagram is at fortunefiemster. You can watch the full video of this episode on our YouTube page at Mike Birbiglia and subscribe to that page and so you get more and more of our videos. We're spending a lot of time putting out little special videos for you. Check out birbigs.com to sign up for the mailing list and be the first to know about my upcoming shows. Our producers of Working It Out are myself along with Peter Salomon, Joseph Birbiglia, and Mabel Lewis, associate producer Gary Simons. Sound mix by Ben Cruz, supervising engineer Kate Belinsky. Special thanks to Jack Antonov and Bleachers for their

music including their hot new Christmas song. Special thanks as always to my wife the poet J. Hope Stein and of course our daughter Una who built the original radio for it made of pillows, which takes away the echo in the room. Thanks most of all to you who are listening. If you enjoy the show, please rate and review it on Apple Podcasts. It helps us out.

We are so many episodes in. We have over 150 episodes since 2020 when we started the podcast, when we had nothing else and we couldn't go anywhere and we couldn't do shows, we did this podcast and now we love the podcast and all the episodes are free. No paywall, we're not one of those for now, who knows? We've had some incredible guests,

Lin-Manuel Miranda, Jim Gaffigan, Maria Bamford. Check out our back catalog and comment on Apple Podcasts. Which one is your favorite? That's how people know which one to start with. Thanks most of all to you who are listening. Tell your friends, tell your enemies. Let's say, I'm just throwing a scenario out, there's a ghost in your house.

I'm not saying there is, but imagine there is. And you believe in ghosts. And the ghost appears before you and says boo, or something ghost-like, like boo. Don't scream, but imagine there is. And you believe in ghosts. And the ghost appears before you and says, "'Boo' or something ghost-like, like, "'Boo.'" Don't scream, don't run away. Say, "'Hey there, ghost.'" Hey there, little creepy frontier-eared child or old prospect or ghost.

You should check out this podcast. It's called Mike Berbiglia's Working It Out. This comedian, Mike Berbiglia, works out material with other comedians. You probably haven't heard of any of them because you've been dead for 300 years. But I think Mike Brighlia provides enough context for you to get the gist of it.

Then your haunting will become a hangout and then you'll all be listening to Working It Out. Thanks everybody, see you next time.