Mike Birbiglia's Working It Out - 62. Hannah Einbinder: The Joke’s on You For Loving a Clown
Episode Date: December 27, 2021Hannah Einbinder received Emmy and Golden Globe nominations for her breakout performance in HBO’s “Hacks.” Today Hannah and Mike discuss what it means to be yourself in auditions, risking reject...ion in front of audiences, and the miracle that is crowd work. They kick around new jokes about the time Mike’s Apple Watch called the police and what it means to say I love you from the other room. All that, and some deep thoughts on deep sea fish. Please consider donating to: The Trevor Project
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you're an actor on Hacks, you were nominated for an Emmy,
you're a stand-up comedian, you're a writer.
How do you describe yourself when people ask you what it is you do and you are professionally?
I would say I'm a lucky comedian.
I'm a lucky comedian.
That was the voice of Hannah Einbinder, comedian and actor, one of the stars of Hacks on HBO.
She actually got nominated for an Emmy.
She's our guest today.
Such a good episode.
A couple things before we start.
We're turning the corner into 22.
I've got really exciting tour dates.
If you're anywhere near Northern California,
come see me at Berklee Repertory Theater.
I'm there for three weeks in January.
Three weeks!
And I'm similarly doing three or four weeks in Chicago at Steppenwolf Theater, which is just a dream come true.
I'll also be in Seattle, Portland, Minneapolis,
Charlotte, Asheville, Durham, Indianapolis,
Dallas, Los Angeles, London, Paris, as well as Iceland.
Because why not?
Why not go to a place where you've dreamed of going your whole life?
That's why I'm going to Iceland.
I just, I've read so much about Iceland over the years.
I've seen so many films that have Iceland years. I've seen so many films that
have Iceland featured. I've just always wanted
to go, so I'm going.
If you're anywhere near there,
come check that out.
And enjoy my conversation
with the great
Hannah Einbinder.
Working it.
We're working it Did you audition for Hacks?
I did, yeah.
When you auditioned for it,
how much of the character were you like,
that's just like me,
and how much of it were you like,
I'm just going to do the Hannah Einbinder spin,
and if they like it, they'll like it.
You know, it felt in the audition sites,
there is a joke that Ava makes about killing herself on Watch What Happens Live.
And I was like, okay, sister, that's home for me.
Okay.
I feel you, girlfriend.
So I was like, oh, this is a friend of mine. Like it may not be
me exactly, but it's a close friend of mine. Sure. And you know, I felt locked into her. Like I was
like feeling, I was writing jokes for her. I was getting into her head. Oh, that's cool.
And in the original audition, I did like improvise a line. And I think that's one of the reasons they maybe brought me back.
I feel like I've acted and I've directed.
And so I've seen sort of both sides of the casting process.
And like, I think that what actors don't realize sometimes if they haven't been on the other side is that the best chance you have of being cast in something is doing your variation on that thing.
Yeah.
Because there's an actor who fits every type in the whole goddamn world.
100%. 100%.
I tell every stand-up comedian, like, do not, like, truly don't go into an audition doing anything other than as close to you as possible.
Because that's what you've
honed every single night on stage i want to say you made your stand-up comedy debut on late show
with stephen colbert and it's far out like it's a very conceptual bid and you do like a old-timey
vocal character you know old-timey voice character and all this stuff and it's like
i remember watching it just thinking like like this comedian is not only funny, but is really brave to just try
a completely different thing. Oh, well, thank you. I feel that it's because I am not good enough to
do like, to take a more traditional approach. Like, there are so many people who do it so well,
traditionally and conversationally,
that I feel like I couldn't hold up almost in that zone.
So I almost feel like I have to go outside the box
in order to be good.
That's an answer.
That's a certain type of evasion of a compliment
that you're going to have to work on.
Okay, because I am...
They're pumping hundreds of billions of dollars
into this defense system, baby.
I will shoot them down.
Yeah. This is a them down. Yeah.
This is a very evasive tactic wherein I think you accepted only 13% of the compliment.
That's an all-time high, actually.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
How much do I owe you?
all-time high actually yeah yeah wow do you how much do i owe you if you're this truly if if this is if you're this truly self-deprecating how do you get on stage where do you where do you find it
how do i get up you know um the truly what it is is me um risking rejection for a chance at validation,
for the chance that I will be externally approved of.
And I suppose given laughter that I can sort of convert into love.
Yes, of course.
So it's like that need for that.
It's like not being able to give it to myself fully.
Is that machine below your ribs?
Is that where that's located?
The converter into love?
You don't want to know.
You don't want to know where that's at.
It's pretty gross.
No, but yeah, it's right down there.
Yeah, I feel like that's kind of the thing.
I also love comedy so much.
And I love talking about it and I love experiencing it.
I love going to shows and watching my friends and seeing new people.
And I love participating in it, you know?
So like that's, that's what got me involved.
Yeah.
So, you know,
loving it and just obsessing over these various albums from various
comedians, you know, when I first started to get into it on my own,
like getting that education, I think,
just made me want to be around it and be in it forever.
It's funny you should say the albums,
because I'm the same way.
I don't watch comedy specials as much as I listen to the albums,
because I think that it's all in the audio,
even if it's a little visual.
I remember when I was starting out, I was driving around the country listening in my car I think that it's all in the audio, even if it's a little visual. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I remember when I was starting out, I was driving around the country listening in my
car to these old Steve Martin albums, and there's tons of stuff that's physical on them,
and you kind of get it.
100%, 100%.
I mean, you can even hear in, I want to say it's, I think it's Let's Get Small, but there is a point where he, like, falls with the banjo and you can hear the banjo.
Like, you hear very clearly.
You get that.
Yeah.
You know, you would think you need to see it, but you see it through the audio.
Yeah.
Are you someone who primarily develops your work in isolation, your writing for the stage, or do you improvise a lot on stage?
Traditionally, I have completely kept everything to my bedroom, like always only writing in isolation.
in isolation. But as I have gotten more comfortable on stage and felt like every... I've kind of released the idea that every performance is so high stakes.
Yes.
I've kind of let go of that. I have been more prone to improvisation and various loose...
Going up with loose ideas which like for the
longest time was impossible to me it was my act was truly a script there was not a word not a comma
yeah out of place um and it's been really nice it's felt uh very pure it's felt like close to
the source um to do that and to not even, you know, everything is
written down because I have trouble, you know, I have pretty tough, I have issues with memory.
So I'm not really someone who can be like, oh, I vaguely know, you know, this whole new bit and
I'll just pop up there and hit these points. Like it's so hard for me. I'll just totally black out.
I had that.
I'm the same way.
When I started out, it was all these really long-form bits,
and I would memorize them and go up and just do the best I can
and that kind of thing.
And I remember I met Jim Gaffigan.
This was like the late 90s.
And he goes, do you improv on stage?
And I just thought, I remember thinking like,
no. Like, why would
I ever improvise on stage?
Who would do that?
And of course he does, and
he develops a lot of stuff on stage.
And then over the years, I've
sort of come around to the idea of it.
There is something sort of magical
in the room when you
do feel like that person on stage is like is flying without a net yep you have to get to a
joke that way yes exactly you better you better fucking make something out of this um it it feels
that way i mean sometimes i'm i'm doing crowd work and i just realize I'm having a conversation and I'm like, fuck, shit, fuck, I gotta, you know, get there.
You know, when you do crowd work to someone who's just pleasant and level-headed and you're like, well, okay, this is kind of dependent on you being an eccentric weirdo.
That's right.
Like, I gotta make something out of this.
like I gotta make something out of this yeah it's like we have purchased tickets
and we would like there to be a joke at the end of this tension
yeah yeah exactly
exactly
and then sometimes you see comedians where it's like
oh it's all tension
yeah
totally
there's no
it's a nice way to spin it
yeah yeah yeah sure
do you at what point have
like because I know there's a pretty
sort of solid
through line typically in your shows like
when it comes to
crowd work like
at what point in your
journey did you start taking time
to do that or is it different every time, spontaneous?
Honestly, it was like 10 years in and it was accidental.
It was like this thing where I was doing it for so long
and then I would be, like it was the kind of thing
where I was booked to do shows where they're asking me
to do more time than I have material for.
What's that like?
So, like, they'd book me at a college, University of Wisconsin, Stout, or whatever, and it would
be like, we'd like you to perform for 90 minutes.
And I'd be like, oh, 90 minutes, you say?
It's funny you should mention that, because that's not—
Yeah, because I have to pay rent, so I'll be there.
Yeah, I'll be there.
See you there.
And, of course, I didn't have the material for it.
And I would just go, okay.
Well, you know, and then I'd pick up the school paper,
and then I would riff on that for 25 minutes.
And, of course, by the way, the best, you know,
the most well-received stuff in the show is the school paper.
I mean, everyone wants to just hear about themselves.
And then just like, yeah, just crowd work.
And then I always was uncomfortable with the idea of where, you know,
where are you from?
What do you do for a living?
And so I would just try to make things more specific.
Like, and thank God for jokes that go like,
has anyone ever been arrested?
You know what I mean? Yeah. And it's like, well, those are good stories. Those tend to be like more
unique. But yeah, I think there's a certain point at which with crowd work, I think the audience
gives you a lot more room for the jokes to be not as well conceived as written jokes.
100%.
Because it's, you know, it's like a miracle.
Like, it is the, like, it feels pure.
Like, I feel like I keep saying that,
but it does feel like the purest expression
of the one guy slash person slash woman on stage
just making something out of nothing.
Like there is this, yeah, I mean,
there is this idea that stand-up is like
sometimes passed off as being conversational in its form.
Like comedians on stage are just like,
you know what, I know, it's very like,
it's like this intentional conversationality.
And crowd work is the only time where that's actually true.
Yes.
Oh, you know what you have with the, it seems like what you have,
one of the things you have with Hex is like a genuine camaraderie in the cast.
And, like, it seems like you actually
like each other. And I feel like that's like a magical concoction that only happens sometimes.
Yeah.
And why do you think it happened with your show?
You know, I have like, it's so weird because I came into probably the most ideal working environment
that exists in Hollywood from where I sit,
which is mostly women and queer people
and an amazing show that is both deeply funny and sincere
and an amazing crew.
Just everyone is so talented and everyone is so funny.
Everybody on our set is deeply funny, every person who worked on it.
And like you said, a cohesive group that loves each other and gets along.
And I mean, I have to attribute it to the fact that we are all tied together by various elements of our identities. And so we have so much in
common. And also, they cast the show based on... Truly, when they got Jean, who is the most
magnificent person and also a huge star, they were like, okay, well,
who had the best audition? Who is just awesome and good and it has nothing to do with the amount
of Instagram followers they have or past credits? We're not looking for a cast that is like a huge, you know, stacked big name, you know, they were like, let's like
kind of discover people. Um, and all of us come from that sort of like humble place.
And so we're just so jazzed to be on set. Like there's not one of us that's like, you know,
okay, where's the next thing? Like there's none none of that. Yeah. And we all love our characters,
and we all feel honored, like, pretty much by the writing.
And so, I mean, it's just like, you know,
like I said, I'm a comedian who is lucky.
Like, it just was, the stars really aligned.
Okay, so we do this thing on the show called The Slow Round,
and it's all about sort of like memories and things that sort of stick with you.
Do you have a smell memory from like childhood
that's like really good or really bad?
Oh, I mean, define childhood.
Anywhere through like, you know, 20.
Okay.
You know, my favorite smell is,
I'm from Los Angeles and when I'm in rush hour traffic
and I'm on the freeway,
there is a specific concoction of smog and marijuana.
Oh my God.
That, I mean, I just fucking, I take that into my lungs and I say a prayer because it's
like so familiar to me because I've been in rush hour traffic a lot over the course of my life.
And I have, you know, been around marijuana a lot over the course of my life.
And so the two, it does smell like home, you know?
It's so funny because Sterling Harjo and Jim Gaffigan both on this show brought up cigarette smoke.
And it's just so funny how like these, and I have pipe smoke from my childhood.
It's so funny how these smells that like you don't think of as like super positive smells,
like can have really good associations. Oh yeah. I mean, there's like, you know,
when somebody's blowing smoke, there's a difference between smoke coming out of someone's lungs and smoke that is sort of coming from the whatever, you know,
a cigarette or a pipe or whatever. Like it is a toasty kind of roasted scent that is not always
disgusting. Like cigarette smoke smells bad on your hands, but not when it's a leaf
burning, you know?
And that's a quick ad for cigarettes, guys.
So definitely...
Definitely pop out, get a carton,
you know, definitely start.
Your character was smoking in one of the episodes, and I thought
like, I hope she's
using the fake cigarettes on that one.
Oh, yeah, I did.
I asked for real ones, but, you know.
You can't do it, though,
because I was doing a scene once with a real smoker,
and even he was like,
don't do the real cigarettes,
because you get into, like, 13, 14 takes of this thing,
and it'll really fuck you up.
Yeah, I was going up to the prop master
getting a fake cigarette for my break.
I was like, hey, can I take one of these for the road?
I feel like I do have kind of iron lungs.
But that's just probably a cocky thing that I'm saying now.
And then if I tried to do it, I would probably pass away and truly die.
That's a very bold proclamation.
Do you have a memory on a loop from your childhood that just pops into your brain every now and then?
You know, it's funny. I don't have a ton of memories from my childhood.
I'm constantly racking my brain to find something.
But most of, like, my earliest memory is of a nightmare that I had,
like a recurring nightmare.
Oh my gosh, really?
Yeah.
It's like I'm in the backyard and a hole opens up in the side of our house.
And I'm being sucked into the hole in the side of the house.
And I'm digging my fingers into the grass
and I'm trying to crawl out of the force that's pulling me in.
And I'm screaming for my mom.
And she's in a conversation with
like three or four people. And she looks back at me and sees me and then she turns around
and turns her back. And then I'm sucked into the hole and I wake up. And I think the first time I had that dream, I was like five or something.
So that seems like sort of meaningless, that dream.
Like it doesn't seem like it has any.
No, totally.
No through line, no weird.
But that's like so classic, like attachment shit, you know?
Because five is where you're like, you're not, you know,
that's where you go to school and it's like, all right, I'll see ya.
Bye.
Get on the bus.
I always get embarrassed when I explain dreams to people where, like, it's so clearly like a one-act play of symbolism.
Woo, yeah.
Woo, yeah.
Mine tend to be vivid and cohesive.
And it's not like I was at the store and the shopkeeper was an octopus.
It's never anything random. very fucking clear and a very clear expression of whatever my subconscious or unconscious rather is struggling with. Yeah. So for me, it's always like I was trying to catch the bus and then
I couldn't catch the bus. And as the bus drove away, I realized the bus was my dad's pants.
Yeah.
What do you think my dad's pants means?
That's pretty standard.
I hear that.
I feel that.
What?
By the way, mom, I know you're listening and it's not, you were great.
Okay.
Yeah.
Don't, don't read into that.
Oh, and you were great in that dream too.
You were great in that dream.
The performance that you gave, I mean, I watched it over and over.
It did come back and back and back.
Yeah.
What's a skill that you have that people don't know about you?
Well, I'm a total show pony, so if there's something I got, you know about it, okay?
Is that true?
Oh, yeah.
I'm not keeping any of this for myself.
You know, they say you, they say you, you make a deal with the devil and that's,
it's not actually the devil, but it is the, the, the audience. And you say, well, whatever I got,
it's yours. Yeah. Um, but I would say, uh, my, my, my most cherished skill is mixology.
Not with alcohol, but with various teas.
Oh my gosh, really?
And drinks.
How did we not lead with this?
You buried the lead.
You mix teas?
I do.
Well, then there's the clickbait right there.
This thing's going to go viral.
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to start a goddamn channel.
It's going to be a whole thing.
That's my fallback.
And also kind of a passion.
I used to be a barista at a tea room.
There you go.
And a man named Jordan Harden, who is a wonderful, he was our beverage director there.
He and I and the rest of my coworkers, we were always mixing something up.
Always talking about acid versus fat.
What are we doing?
Various levels of tea mixology going on. And so I love to, you know, play with that.
It's fun. I like to do that for my friends. I like to do it for myself, you know.
So you, it's so funny because you were saying that thing about your memory, how you don't have
a lot of memories. And I was remembering that I heard you on Conan's podcast, which I love, and that episode I highly recommend to people,
where you're talking about that exact thing, where you have like a period of your life where you
don't remember the specific instances. Can you describe what that is when you try to recall in that space of time, whether it's like age 10 through 15 or whatever it is, like what is there?
And look through documents to see both photos of myself, to see where I was in school. I would need various triggers to even understand where and when I was.
Because, you know, I don't even, I mean, 10, what grade is that?
Right, like 10.
Yeah, something like that.
Yeah, that would be fifth grade.
Is that fifth?
Yeah, yeah.
That's fascinating.
I do the same thing, by the way.
I use documentation.
I look at photos of, you know, because I write tons of autobiographical stuff.
And it's like a lot of it is looking at pictures and looking at my calendar.
Like literally like my iCal and just being like, oh, yeah, I was touring in Cincinnati that week.
And I went to this hamburger place that people told me that I had to go.
And I cried at this Holiday Inn.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah.
But a lot of it is like the autobiographical storytelling I feel like is in in the vein of you're a reporter of yourself.
And so you're collecting clues the same way you collect clues about someone else, but it's for you.
Yeah. the only, almost the only things that I do talk about autobiographically exist within the past,
you know, maybe five years. And so that I have more of a grasp on. And really like,
I'm going forward, you know, autobiographically. So everything will, will revolve around the present moment and on.
So that is helpful.
So this is the part of the show where you sort of work out new and unrefined material.
I have a bunch of stuff, and you're welcome to share as well if you have anything.
Great.
This is sort of a riff on something that was in the version of the show that you saw but this is like a new line
which is, you know, I do this whole thing about
how my family doesn't say I love you
they basically just say like take care
you know, which is not
which is not the same
and then I was trying to think about like the I love you
who I say I love you to in my
life and who I don't say I love you to
and all this kind of stuff and I wrote
my wife and I say I love you to in my life and who I don't say I love you to and all this kind of stuff. And I wrote, my wife and I say I love you, but we also say things like, are you talking to me?
I literally can't tell.
I'm in another room and the door is closed.
So we say that too.
Is that the same?
Yeah, that's sort of the, that's all I have.
Right, right.
You know, that's sort of all I have.
Right, right.
Like, that is a statement that comes from the place of wanting to hear the other person, which is love.
Oh, I like that. That's excellent.
So then the question becomes, what are other examples of things that have nothing to do with, like, not even close to I love you, but come from that similar core.
Yeah, the other one I wrote the other day was take care.
Oh, my family doesn't say I love you,
you say take care,
which is first of all,
doesn't have the word love in it.
And second of all is sort of a command.
It's like, oh, actually, you know what?
Not only am I not going to say I love you,
I'd like you to do something for me.
Yeah, yes.
And take care is not even specific to you.
It could be of a water bill.
It could be of, you know, various other appointments. Water bill.
Take care.
Because, you know, you got that, you know,
you got your physical coming up
and then um and then i have one other one that i wrote this week which is i have an iphone and an
apple watch and a macbook laptop and they all basically do the same thing on different parts
of my body one day my apple watch started doing a mysterious countdown from 10. It just goes 10, 9, 8.
And I just pressed every button.
I had no idea what this meant or how to stop it.
At the end of 10 seconds, and I'm not making this up, it called the police.
And they came to my house.
And that's when I knew the war between humans and machines had begun.
My watch called the human police on me.
And I tried calling human tech support and they laughed at me
because they had clearly changed alliances.
Oh, my God.
That is both a joke and a spooky story.
It's a spooky story, right?
I also love the idea of your Apple Watch on a witness stand in a courtroom.
Testifying against you.
Oh, my gosh.
Your lawyer is, you know, an iPod Nano.
Oh, my gosh.
The list goes on, you know, filling out the courtroom. The jury, you know, an iPod Nano. Oh, my gosh. The list goes on, you know, filling out the courtroom.
The jury, you know, playing with that world.
Siri, are you taking dictation of this?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It is weird, right, though?
Like, the devices are getting so smart.
This first occurred to me, me like a few years ago.
I was in London doing a show, and Daniel Kitson, who's like a comedian, one of the comedians I admire most, he just shows me on his phone.
He goes, look at this.
He goes, and he dictated into his phone like a few sentences.
And he's like, translate into German.
And then he like showed it to me and it was like in german and i was like what the fuck like it was like one of
the strangest things i'd ever seen and but now we're living like in that like full full blown
oh yeah i mean i i worked at a like when i worked at the tea room there room, it was a big tourist spot, and people would talk into their phone and then press the volume button, and it would translate into English.
And that's how I would communicate with them and have a full conversation through their phone.
Wow.
That's a very common.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, the actor who plays Jean Smart's COO of her company
always does the dictation.
You make fun of his character for being the only person
who uses the dictation on the phone.
But I'm watching and I'm like, I do that.
I use the dictation on the phone.
Oh, you know I do that.
You know I do that.
Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.
In the car? Forget about it.
Yeah.
I mean, like, you know that story about the robot who traveled cross-country?
No.
There was a robot that was like this ambassador for peace.
Right, of course, yeah.
And he went from state to state, and he was on his little tractor.
Because you know how robots feel about peace.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. know how robots feel about peace. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, all about it.
It's the most logical form of discourse.
Well, they've heard it's great in books.
Yeah.
And they're reading them.
And you know they're reading them.
They read War and Peace, and they liked peace.
They sided with peace.
We were like, okay, you guys take peace.
We're going to do war.
Okay?
This robot travels on his little, you know, conveyor belt feet all over the country.
And everybody gives it a little, oh, hello, robot.
I'm going to give you a little sign.
I'm going to give you a little flower.
Here's a little heart.
You know, here's a chocolate. Whatever. People drop things with, you know, in the robot's
hands. And, um, it got to Philadelphia and they beat the shit out of it. Oh my God. Really?
You gotta be kidding me. Yeah. Nope. No. Yeah. Yeah. Um, it, uh, that's like my favorite Philly, uh, anecdote, but I mean, you know, I see in LA, I see those robots. I see like they have, I don't know if it's Amazon or Postmates or whatever, but it's like, I see them walking down, Mike. There are fully messengers out here. No.
Yeah. Yeah. They have goods in their trunks, and they pedal to the metal around town, and they wait at the crosswalk.
No human.
No human. Alone.
You're blowing my mind right now.
I'm telling you.
This is not a video you saw that someone doctored. This is a real thing you've witnessed.
Two eyes.
These ones in my head. But you have robot eyes, right?
Well, yeah.
No, that's the new.
I have the robot eyes 19 from Apple.
Yeah.
X plus.
So there's no way to trust that necessarily.
I swear to God.
Oh, you have 19X?
Oh, that's interesting.
Yeah.
Plus.
Because the update I thought on that was buggy. Oh, you have 19X? Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, plus.
Well, the update I thought on that was buggy.
It makes you blind.
But only when you're sleeping.
Oh, right, right, right.
That's right.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, there are fully robots.
Yeah, they're out here, 100%. Yeah, no, I liked the 19X robotic eyes,
but then the update makes you into an evil demon when you sleep,
and I thought that that was a weird byproduct of the whole thing.
Well, with the dreams I'm having, probably not going to be a problem.
Sort of a one-to-one.
working it out is sponsored in part by amazon studios presenting being the ricardos this is a movie that i actually just watched on prime last night and i loved i was actually up till
like 1 30 in the morning watching it i couldn't't stop watching it. It's behind the scenes of I Love Lucy, which is a show I loved.
But it's a biopic.
Lucille Ball is played by Nicole Kidman.
Desi Arnaz is played by Javier Bardem.
It's all this stuff that is directed and written by Aaron Sorkin, who I love.
I actually just watched Moneyball again last week, which he wrote is so good.
It's just, you know, look, everyone knows, like, I Love
Lucy's is a groundbreaking sitcom. It sort of takes you into the writer's room behind
the scenes. It features this all-star cast, J.K. Simmons, alias Shokot, who I love, Tony
Hale, who I love, like so many great actors. It's been nominated for three Critics' Choice
Awards for Best Original Screenplay by Aaron Sorkin,
Best Actress by Nicole Kidman,
Best Supporting Actor by J.K. Simmons.
Getting rave reviews.
Streaming now on Prime Video
and I couldn't recommend it more highly myself.
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Do you have any jokes you're working on?
Kick around?
You know, I have a couple.
I'll give you an option.
Sure.
And you tell me what calls upon your heartstrings.
One joke is I've been trying to write my last will and testament,
but funny.
So, like, I have a draft of it here. but funny so like I
have a draft of it here
you can read it if you want
you don't have to but you're more than
welcome to
I Hannah
Einbinder declare this document
to be my last will
and testament
well looks like I'm not a hypochondriac after all, am I, Stephen?
Bet you feel pretty fucking stupid now, don't you? You owe me $50, bitch.
Because I can no longer claim what you owe, I would like you to instead donate the $50
in my name to your ass. Shove it up your ass, Steven.
I'll see you in hell.
I don't have much money to give away in this thing.
And if you're upset by that, then baby jokes on you for loving a fucking clown.
First, I leave a sum of $500 to my acquaintance, Donnie Six's Monterelli. There was once a man who came into the coffee
shop I worked at named Mr. Palmer. I asked him if he wanted his latte sweetened. He told me he did
and that he wanted me to stick my finger in it to make it sweet. When I handed him the drink,
he took my wrist and dipped my finger in the coffee. Donnie, pay him a visit,
will you? What's that saying? An eye for an eye? Well, I want a finger. As far as my body goes,
I'd like to be buried in a Jewish cemetery. I had so many cool tattoo ideas when I was alive that I
didn't get for this reason. But if the Jewish cemetery is too expensive, I would like you to tattoo on
the bottom of my foot the words, keep refrigerated, followed by expires and the date of my death.
Hilarious. Finally, I direct that the chairs at my funeral be rigged with whoopee cushions
so that when the rabbi says, you may be seated, everyone
laughs and thinks to themselves, she got me, that dead bitch got me.
This is great.
It's like, I've been writing this for probably three years, and this is like the, it's had
so many, like I had a line in it.
I used to have a line in it that was like, I would like for my body to be donated to science
because scientists are hot.
There are various,
there have been like 18 different versions, but like.
I think what I like most about it is,
well, I have a thing about writing my will in the show and a lot lot of it has to do with it's a very different type of piece because it's literally about writing my will and hiring a person to come over and work with my wife and me because I have all these preexisting conditions and all this kind of stuff.
And I have a daughter, and that's a whole thing.
When you have a child, your will becomes a whole thing.
But I love your piece because it's like a vessel through which
to do all of this really autobiographical kind of observational humor
in a way that I've never heard before.
And it's like, I think it's awesome.
It's almost like it reminds me of like a, I don't know,
like a Zadie Smith or
David Sedaris comedic essay, except in the form of like stand up. I love it.
Thank you. I appreciate that. Okay, I have one that's very silly to share with you.
I love nature, but not in like a cute way, in like a deep sea fish taxidermy way.
Like to me, ocean floor fish are the alcoholics of the sea.
Like millions of years ago, all the other fish were like, hey, Tina, Mark, thank you guys so much for having us.
This was awesome.
We're going to swim up and evolve now.
And all the slack-jawed, razor-toothed,
light bulb angler fish were like, I think I'm going to stick around. You guys got twister?
Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
Yeah.
Because there are so many fish who live at the bottom of the ocean who don't have eyes because
they're just like, oh, I don't need eyes because they're just like oh i don't need
that like they evolve who needs to not have eyes yeah yeah who needs them and i just like the i
don't know anthropomorphization is like my favorite fun uh thing and so i kind of want to cast
um various deep sea fish versus regular fish.
Yeah, yeah.
I have one on that, which is like, well,
I was going to just say like,
when you're saying like, oh, you're going to go up there or whatever,
it's like, oh, you're getting your, you know,
you're receiving heat from the sun.
We're going to go with core of the earth.
Yeah.
No, we saw some, we saw some,
we were feeling some core of the earth vibes down there.
And so we're going to go with that, I think.
Yeah.
There's also something to like literal rock bottom.
Yes.
Being home.
I think my wife, Jen, and I talk about deep sea, the deep sea fish that you're discussing constantly because we feel like it's definitely, and this is not a joke, it's just real.
It's like if you spend enough time watching those documentaries about the deep sea fish, which we're really only privy to in like the last decade or so because we've only been able to get cameras down there in the last, whatever, 10, 20 years.
They're aliens.
Like, look no further for the aliens.
Yes!
They're nothing like us or the other fish.
Yeah, but guess what's fucked up?
Is that those are our cousins.
Yeah, totally. The truth is.
That's our extended family.
A hundred percent. We've all got that
in law. Am I right, folks?
You know, it's very that.
Like, that is...
I can't, like, I
feel like I walk around with my mind
just, like, in this constant state of, state of explosion just over these things that we're all meant to accept.
Yes.
Like truly, truly, fish walked out of the ocean.
Yes.
And became what we are now.
That's right.
Are you kidding me?
Yeah.
And we're just moving on?
Yeah, we're just moving on.
We're just having iPhones.
I know it sounds ridiculous and so stonery,
but I just...
Right.
It's like there's headlines about some celebrity having a baby.
Well, scratch that headline.
There's fish with no eyes that get energy from the core of the earth.
Thank you, Mike.
God damn it.
It's like that should be the headline of every Us Weekly.
Everything.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In the news today, aliens still at the bottom of the ocean.
Yeah, yeah, totally.
No eyes, no teeth, no brain.
Yes.
And older than all of us and will be here long after we're dead.
Scientologists were right all along.
Now here's Jerry with the weather.
Like, are you kidding?
No, I mean, the deep sea fish, you literally could paper over every news story all day,
every day with just the deep sea fish.
To think that we have only explored something like 10% of the ocean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah, but we've destroyed 80%.
So we don't, there's a negative equation in terms of how much we're
even going to get to see. Oh my God. Well, let me see if I can find anything that's in my notebook
here. That's like new and like has a chance at making it into the show somewhere. Okay. This
happened this weekend. I parked my car at this hotel and the valet, and when I went to pick up the car, it was like Sunday morning.
It took like an hour and a half because everyone checked out at the same time.
It was like one of those scenarios.
And I was annoyed.
I'm human, but then there's one couple that was furious, and it was just me and them for a while.
furious. And it was just me and them for a while. And finally, their car showed up.
And the wife said to the husband, we are not tipping. And I feel like she really sort of misunderstood who was at fault in the situation. It's not the valet person's fault that there's not enough valet people hired for the amount of cars.
It's almost like people are always trying to find someone to be accountable for their own
unhappiness. That's literally the whole joke. It's literally just a notebook observation.
But then I wrote this one down too, and it's sort of, I think it's somewhat related
but maybe not.
I was in my neighborhood
and I was crossing the street
because there was
standstill traffic
even though
it was a green light.
So I was definitely
in the wrong
but this guy
in traffic
is stuck there
and he has his window open.
He didn't yell at me.
He didn't curse.
He just goes,
real genius.
And I thought, this man has been victorious in this interaction because he's not wrong.
I'm not a real genius.
And that's not the smartest thing I could be doing.
Sometimes in life, someone says something to you that's less than friendly, and it's right on the money.
It sounds like that is the attitude that the valet lady needs.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Yeah, I wonder if it is like a big, and something you'll learn about me is that I'm always going
to suggest a big monologue, but I wonder if the valet lady, I wonder if it's like, okay, well, let's actually trace this back.
Let's actually, no, you want to go, oh, you want to not to, okay, that's fine. Let's actually
trace you not tipping back. And you like go through her whole fucking life and you go through
that lunch and you go through, you know, you embellish, embellish, embellish all of these
various sort of this journey for her. And it ends up being her the whole time. And it's like this
thing, like, I wonder if that's a route to go. And at the end of that long embellishment, I could go
real genius. Yes.
I think that's funny hell yeah
just tying those two
I love that
I'll sneak one last joke in
which is I walked up to a urinal
and the guy next to me was texting
on his phone while he was peeing
and I thought do you have to do that
and so I look it up on my phone while I'm peeing
and turns out you don't have to, but often people do.
So the guy next to me.
I want 19 urinals, Mike, okay?
Heighten, heighten, heighten, heighten.
Oh, I love that.
That joke kind of reminds me of something that I once did,
which is like being 25 is all about proclaiming who you are and who you are not.
But I'm mature for my age, so I don't do that.
That's very funny.
We're all just walking contradictions.
We're all just walking deep-sea fish, if you know what I mean.
Yeah, we're walking deep-sea fish, clearly.
I am so happy to hear you say that.
We're eyeless deep-sea fish staring without our eyes at our iPhone 19s.
Oh, shit.
He wrapped it up, baby.
That's a bow.
That's a present.
You know, if you want more, there's not much we can do for you.
This episode is going deep.
Sea fishing and team.
Ha, ha, ha.
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.
Ha, ha, ha.
We close it out with a nonprofit that the guest is appreciating the work they're doing,
and then I will donate to them.
I'll link to them in the show notes.
And I'm curious, who are you thinking of today? Today I am thinking of the Trevor Project,
Today I am thinking of the Trevor Project, which is the largest suicide hotline for LGBTQ youth.
Very important org, very important service, especially as we have seen as of late that various suicide hotlines for queer kids in the South have been blocked.
These websites are hard to get to now for various kids. And so the Trevor Project is ever more important today.
That's fantastic.
So I'm going to donate to them,
and then I'm going to link to them in the show notes.
And Hannah, this is such a joy.
I wish we could work out jokes seven days a week,
because this is one of the most productive joke writing sessions I've ever had.
No.
Yeah, it is.
No way.
Pound for pound, the rate of progress on jokes is so slow.
And I feel like we got some places fast.
Oh, I'm glad. I'm glad.
I feel like there's a certain degree of, like, cool math to them.
Yeah.
To what we do.
And so I do love it.
And I feel the same, and I'm so stoked to be here.
Thank you for having me. Oh, yeah, we're math joke nerds. I think that's a good way of looking love it. And I feel the same, and I'm so stoked to be here. Thank you for having me.
Oh, yeah, we're math joke nerds.
I think that's a good way of looking at it.
Yeah, we're funky mathematicians.
That's going to do it for another episode of Working It Out with Hannah Einbinder.
You can follow Hannah.
I'm going to spell this. This is like
you have to spell it. Hannah
H-A-N-N-A-H-E-I
H-A-N-N-A-H-E-I
N-B-I-N-D-E-R
N-B-I-N-D-E-R
on Instagram.
I follow her. I think
I just think she's a riot. I think she's a wild
talent and I think
you know,
watch Hacks. If you haven't watched
it already, watch it now
and just follow what she does
next. She's just a fantastically funny
and fascinating
person. Our producers of
Working It Out are myself, along with Peter
Salamone and Joseph Verbiglia.
Consulting producer Seth Barish.
Sound mix by Kate Balinski.
Sound recordist Parker Lyons.
Associate producer Mabel Lewis.
Special thanks to my consigliere Mike Berkowitz
as well as Marissa Hurwitz and Josh Uppfall.
Special thanks as always to Jack Antonoff
and Bleachers for their music.
They're playing Red Rocks.
They just announced it.
They sold out Red Rocks in Colorado.
As always, a very special thanks to my wife, the poet J. Hope Stein.
Our book is called The New One.
It is comedy and poetry mixed together.
It's at your local bookstore.
We've got to support our local bookstores.
As always, a special thanks to our daughter, Una, who created my original radio fort made of pillows.
Thanks most of all to you who have listened to this podcast.
Maybe you found it this month with John Green or Hannah Einbinder.
Maybe you found it all the way back in June of 2020 with Ira Glass and Hannah Gadsby and John Mulaney.
We can't thank you enough.
Thank you for a great 2021.
We're going to do even more in 2020-22.
2022 is hard to say.
I'm sorry.
We're going to do even more in 2022.
So do me a favor.
Tell your friends.
You know what? If you want to take it a step favor. Tell your friends. You know what?
If you want to take it a step further, tell your
enemies. They don't want to hear about it.
You tell them anyway.
We're working it out. Happy New Year,
everybody.