Mike Birbiglia's Working It Out - 83. Chris Gethard: Don’t Think Twice About Being Naked

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

Mike has seen Chris Gethard naked. So has the cast and crew of Mike’s film Don’t Think Twice. Chris shares his memories of being nude on set, as well as why he was reluctant to return to the world... of improv for the movie. The two longtime friends tell stories about touring together and brainstorming their respective projects simultaneously: Don’t Think Twice and Chris’s solo HBO special Career Suicide.Please consider donating to the Natural Resources Defense Council

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm going to bring up two things about Don't Think Twice. One of them is that you're completely naked in the footage in the movie that we filmed, which means you're completely naked on the day. Dude, speaking of the naked footage, did I ever tell you, I was once at a concert, a punk rock concert in Bushwick. This girl came up to me and she's like, hey, I don't know you. I'm like, all right, this is interesting. But you know, weirdos like to talk to me.
Starting point is 00:00:23 I'm like, oh, that's cool. How are you? She's like, I'm good. She's like, I was just at a test screening for a movie you were in i was like you saw it you saw the cut she's like yeah and i'm like how wasn't she's like it's really good movie and i was like but and she's like how come they showed like full penis 90 seconds in and i was like they showed it she's like yeah and then I remember telling you that you were like yeah that's been like pretty consistent from audiences yeah why is like the third scene of this movie a like full screen yeah so we took your penis out of the movie because the audiences were too shocked by it welcome back to working Out. That is the voice of Chris Gethard. Oh, man, we got a big one today.
Starting point is 00:01:07 We got a big fish, Chris Gethard. You might know from Don't Think Twice or his own HBO special, Career Suicide. He is a beast of comedy. He's one of my good friends. If you don't know by now, I got to tell you, the most exciting news in my life is that my show, The Old Man in
Starting point is 00:01:27 the Pool, that I've been working on here with you on the podcast for two and a half years, 83 episodes, is going to Broadway. It's the best case scenario. It's unbelievable. We're starting October 28th at the Vivian Beaumont Theater, which is at Lincoln Center. It is so, so cool. Go to mikeberbigliabroadway.com. There are tickets that are $48. It's like 39 plus fees or something like that. Keep in mind, you have to fish a little bit for them.
Starting point is 00:02:02 You could just move around. Some of the tickets are crazy expensive, and then some of them are the $48 tickets. The good news is all the seats are great in the theater. I've been there. It is gorgeous. It is a marvel. My conversation today with Chris Gathard is so cool
Starting point is 00:02:19 because we talk a lot on the podcast about process, right? And he and I have this really unique process intersection, which is like 2014, 15, I asked him to come on the Thank God for Jokes tour. And he comes on tour. We spend like tons of hours on the bus together. He was starting to write the show Career Suicide. I helped him with that a bit.
Starting point is 00:02:42 I was writing the screenplay for Don't Think Twice. He helped me write that a little bit. There's a lot of cross-pollination. And we've just had a lot of things over the years where we've worked together so much that we're almost like brothers. No offense to Joey Bag of Donuts, who, if
Starting point is 00:02:59 you haven't listened to that episode, that is a really fun episode, too. But I love this episode we did today with Chris Gathered. It's so honest. There's a lot of turns in it. There's a lot of dramatic turns in it. If you like Chris, you might enjoy his special career suicide on HBO. You might enjoy his podcast, which is called Beautiful Anonymous. It's fantastic. And enjoy my conversation with the great Chris Gethard. When I opened for you in 2014, one of the greatest things I learned, I mean, there was a lot of joke writing and there was a lot of like craft stuff that was very valuable, but also just kind of how to be a functioning professional. I learned a lot. Cause I was already,
Starting point is 00:03:48 I had already been doing the UCB thing for years. Like I was already pretty established at where I was, but I remember you were like, if you want to come open for me, let me know. I was like, I will learn a lot about how it works outside of New York, outside of like the hipster bubble, the alt comedy bubble.
Starting point is 00:04:01 That was a very unique tour because it was my Thank God for Jokes tour, 2014. And I was working on Thank God for Jokes and I was writing the movie Don't Think Twice that you ended up being one of the stars of. Yeah. And you were writing Career Suicide, which was not called Career Suicide at the time. No.
Starting point is 00:04:18 And so I was, you were helping me work through my Don't Think Twice movie and I was helping you work through Career Suicide. And it was like a very symbiotic, it was like one of the more productive times I've had work-wise. We were on a tour bus, and we were working all the time. Here's the thing, like Des Moines, we found stuff to do. Iowa City, these are great towns.
Starting point is 00:04:40 The idea that the Midwest is flyover country, no, it's not. We found things to do. The drives between them, there's nothing to do. There's just not much there. There's nothing to do except talk about it. Yeah. I wouldn't have done Career Suisse.
Starting point is 00:04:51 I remember being on a tour bus, and I talked about depression stuff on my old public access show. I would mention it on stage and stand up in a more cursory fashion. And I'll never forget, like we just, whatever was going on in my life, 2013 and 14, like you knew about, you knew as much as my shrink did. Like we just had nothing to do except talk to each other. And sometimes it would be like Greg would be there or Joe would be there. But a lot of times it was just you and I. And I remember one of those times you were like, what's the, like, what's the realist it ever got with the depression? And I told you it's in career suicide story about a time that I crashed a car on purpose.
Starting point is 00:05:30 And I think you were probably, there were less than 10 people in my life who knew that story at that point. And you just like took it in and it's hard for me to tell that story. And you just were like, buddy, that's hilarious. You got to tell that one. that story and you just were like, buddy, that's hilarious. You got to tell that one. I was like, absolutely not, man. It's the darkest thing ever. It's like the worst. I can point to the individual worst moment of my life. You're like, just come try it at Union Hall. I got the Monday night shows. You try it in my audience. They'll be nice and it'll work. And I would always, there were times where you're one of those people where sometimes I would have an opinion and I'd dig in my heels.
Starting point is 00:06:08 I'm like, it'll never work. And then you're always correct about it. And I'm like, ah, now, because now I have to do it. So I wouldn't have done career suicide without you, no way. And then conversely, I remember also on those bus rides, sometimes I'd be like, so when you were on the Friday night show at UCB and people started getting cast on this and that, how did that feel?
Starting point is 00:06:29 And I was like, why are you asking? And then eventually it was like, I'm writing a movie. I was like, got it, got it, got it. There's a lot of Chris Gethard DNA that is in Don't Think Twice. That, I think, is a little bit of an overrated dialogue. There's truth to that. There's a couple lines in there that I think...
Starting point is 00:06:52 I won't say which one. There's one line in particular that's pretty close to a real-life example I gave you, but it was also the story... Which one? You can say it. Well, I don't want to blow up somebody else's, but people will immediately figure out. Someone who got hired for SNL did...
Starting point is 00:07:07 I guest wrote there in 2007 for two weeks. They tell you this is not a tryout slot. But a lot of people get these guests like Julio Torres was a writer on my TV. He left for his guest writer. He got hired. He became a full-time writer for SNL. It's not a tryout, but a lot of the people who get hired,
Starting point is 00:07:23 they do have this first. They take the pressure off by telling you it's not a tryout, but a lot of the people who get hired, they do have this first. Yeah. So they take the pressure off by telling you it's not a tryout, but also if it goes great, I think it can reflect well. I had that 2007, two weeks, I wrote there, Shia LaBeouf and Scarlett Johansson
Starting point is 00:07:35 were the hosts, got a sketch to dress rehearsal, felt pretty good, didn't get hired, screwed my whole head up to get that close. I mean, that show, how many New York comedians
Starting point is 00:07:43 do we know whose brains got scrambled coming close to SNL? And then about a year to two years later, a friend of mine got hired for some capacity on the show. And I was so happy. And it had been flirted with. And then there was the writer's strike that got in the way of it. And I remember saying, like, I'm so psyched for you. This is awesome.
Starting point is 00:08:03 And he basically, he was like, yeah, I mean, I hate to say it, it's super grim, but there were stretches where I was like, if they don't just tell me if I have the job or not, I'm just going to kill myself. And I didn't say it. I mean, in the movie, it is expressed like, oh, it's exactly what happened to me.
Starting point is 00:08:19 I didn't get it. You're telling me you would have killed yourself if you were me a year and a half ago. But New York comedy was kind of totally upended i think a lot of it because of the explosion of alt comedy from the luna lounge to the ucb in particular to this pipeline to snl there was just this stretch of new york where it went from like everybody's hanging out and friends like oh, oh, now people are getting commercials. Right. To like, oh, now it's not just commercials.
Starting point is 00:08:49 Now it's like, you know, I remember like, I remember- So you're talking about the competition in Don't Think Twice being like a real thing that you witnessed a lot. Yeah, I mean, I think that's the story of New York comedy in the 2000s and 2010s in a way. It is.
Starting point is 00:09:02 No, it absolutely is. But it's also like it's every you know who comes up to me a lot is bands right people will be like my band in denver blew up but then you know who's mad every other band in denver right it's like bruce springsteen bruce springsteen's doing that like how south side johnny and the asbury jukes feeling right now you know like that's kind of the story of it but yeah i mean the whole rafifi i remember like remember when when when aziz got cast as randy and funny people i remember there were like some old school new york alt comedians who'd be like he skipped the line and it's like you sound so cooked i'm always in my head cautionary tale about i remember those conversations i'm like you
Starting point is 00:09:40 sound cooked and you don't even know it it's's funny. You sound done. When Melanie and I used to tour, we used to always reference this documentary that they made about Boston comedy. It's called When Stand-Up Stood Out. It's so good. I highly recommend it to the listeners. And there's this great moment where Stephen Wright gets The Tonight Show.
Starting point is 00:09:59 And this is the 80s when The Tonight Show meant like stardom. Obscurity to stardom and and supposedly there's some story where this boston comic just goes like it's not your turn and so and so melania that would always reference that until we go it's not your turn well i feel like melania's another guy showed up and he was so good so fast and I feel like there was a little grumble in there too and it's like okay you go be as talented as John
Starting point is 00:10:32 and then you can complain I remember being young and being wise enough to see that for what it was and now that I'm old I'm in my 40s now and I see the young bucks especially in the space I occupied it's helping me take a deep breath and be like for what it was and now that I'm old, I'm in my 40s now and I see the young bucks, especially in the space I occupied.
Starting point is 00:10:49 It's helping me take a deep breath and be like, you don't get to take up the oxygen in certain rooms forever, you know? And that's okay. Not only that, the people who do have the meteoric rise have to suffer the experience of the meteoric rise. And that's what these comedians experience. If you go up way too fast, you come down way too fast. Like, it's hard.
Starting point is 00:11:09 It's not, I mean, these people who have, like, meteoric rises, it's a lot to reckon with. And I also know, like, having been at UCB starting in 2000, when Andy Daly and Donna Fineglass got cast on Mad TV, they shut down the theater and had a party. And then it became what it was. You know what I mean? They threw a party because someone got a job.
Starting point is 00:11:30 And then it became just this person, that person, this person. I'm like, I've seen a lot of people go on to great success. I've had some measure of success myself. And I'm always proud because I've remained level-headed enough to be like I've seen people I've seen people get their heads really messed up by it and I feel lucky because I've kind of seen it from a million different angles and uh managed to relatively land on my feet um except for this beard yeah it's real this beard is very Orson Welles sort of like troubled
Starting point is 00:12:07 troubled beard man yeah it's been a weird couple years Mike you know that I was telling you right before we started I just applied to grad school oh my god that's wild I think I'm going to go to grad school are you serious dude I clicked apply today
Starting point is 00:12:21 I paid a $70 fee to apply to a grad school for what for social work I was going to say to a grad school today. For what? For social work. I was going to say, psychology, social work. Yeah. Well, you know what it is? And I'd love your opinion on this. And I've talked about this publicly.
Starting point is 00:12:32 And I don't want to come off as complaining, but I'm like, I'm on stage in Edinburgh. And like I said, some of this is ticket sales. Some of this is problems with how it's promoted, in my opinion. Some of it's also, though, when you're in a room and there's 20 people in the room. There was one night where there were 17 people. And I'm sitting here going, I've been doing comedy 22 years. When it's less people than years, is this responsible? And once I put the emotion of that aside, I sit here and go,
Starting point is 00:13:03 I also got a pretty sick setup in Jersey. I love my house. We live about 12 minutes from my son's cousins and he's an only child. I don't want to leave Jersey. I've been about as successful as someone can be without ever living in LA. I had my own TV show. I've had an HBO special. So there's a part of me that's like,
Starting point is 00:13:25 I better be smart and have a backup plan because I don't want to go to LA. Also, you tell me the past few years, I used to occupy this renegade space, being an underground weirdo, but look at me now.
Starting point is 00:13:44 I'm like a 42-year-old dad with a beard. It's not my war to fight anymore. Right? Can't go be one of the rabble rousers anymore. Right. You're not a renegade. You're like the father of the renegades. I'm like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:56 The godfather of the renegades. I'm at a point on the renegades family tree, but a lot of them, there's not been enough generations down that family tree. I don't even know if they know that. So I'm sitting here. I'm like, what am I going to do? Go back on public access TV and start shouting about the stuff I shouted about 12 years ago? I don't think I have, not only do I not have as much to say in that space, but I see the people out there who have the chip on their shoulder.
Starting point is 00:14:19 And I'm like, yeah, they should be. Like I see Z-Way doing these interviews with celebrities and just getting them to freeze, and it makes me laugh so hard. And I'm like, yeah, that is making me laugh. That's reminding me what it felt like to be that guy. But I could be that guy 12 years ago. Me today, young father me, I'm going to go pretend that I'm still that guy. I'm not that guy. That's not my fight anymore.
Starting point is 00:14:42 It's funny. Steve Martin said something. I want to say it was in born standing up or an interview with steve martin where he said something the effect of like there is an edginess that you lose in comedy because you become an adult and these things that are really edgy and high stakes you start to see them in real life happen to people. I'm also a happier. And then you're like, ah, this is hard.
Starting point is 00:15:11 This is hard to talk about when I know someone who's had that happen. Yeah. Yeah, that's true too, right? Yeah. When you're like young and, you know. You can be flippant when you don't know that many people who've had these five things occur to them. Right, right. Everybody who's like a 23-year-old guy
Starting point is 00:15:28 making a well-crafted and very funny miscarriage joke. Like you probably aren't writing that joke when you're 33 because you probably have five couples who you know who have had them. That's right. It's just a reality. Yeah. The other thing too is like I'm a pretty happy person now. And I mean, you've known me forever.
Starting point is 00:15:44 At that point, I'm cooked. mean, you've known me forever. At that point, I'm cooked. Me happy? Right, you've never been happy. What use does that have to comedy? You and I started at UCB Theater at the same time. I was in a show called Little Man. It was me and Nick Kroll and Ed Harrow, Brian Donovan, Conrad Mulcahy, Chris Fosdick. And I'm probably leaving someone out who's going to be furious.
Starting point is 00:16:13 I don't know offhand. I remember that Mulaney used to come watch and Jackie Novak used to come up and watch and say hi. Like I met your whole Georgetown crew. They were like the next generation crew. Georgetown crew. Yeah, they were like the next generation crew. And then you, we used to share a slot at the old UCB,
Starting point is 00:16:29 two UCBs, three UCBs ago on 22nd Street. And yours was like an old, yours was like Billy Merritt. It was like an old-fashioned like... 1930s. Yeah, it was a 1930s Depression-era improv show. The Sunshine Gang.
Starting point is 00:16:45 Billy Merritt, who's like a legendary teacher at UCB, it was the 1930s Depression-era improv show. The Sunshine Gang. The Sunshine Gang. Billy Merritt, who's like a legendary teacher, used to be with me, him, Chad Carter, and Brian Husky. And legendary improviser. Great. From The Swarm. Yeah. All three of those guys. I was the junior member of that crew. All three of those guys. Like, Chad was on Respect. Husky was in Naked Babies and Feature Feature.
Starting point is 00:17:01 Billy was on The Swarm. The premise was that All of this means nothing to anybody. Not to anyone. It was, the premise was it was the 1930s. It's like that thing where you mention a band and people don't know the band. You go, no, the band, they're from blah, blah, blah and blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:17:16 Right, I don't know that. No, no, that was from blah, blah, blah. They were so important to people from Providence in 1996 to 1999. You have to trust me. You know, like that type of thing. Two people who worked on the show, Mabel Lewis and Nick Mitralakis,
Starting point is 00:17:29 recently were having a conversation and they casually didn't know the band REM. Not they didn't know the music. They weren't familiar that the band existed. And I almost like lost my mind. I started having an existential crisis. Not because who cares? It's not their fault they don't know some band.
Starting point is 00:17:51 It's holy cow, these people, these bands that we, people like you and I, idolize. And we think of as like seminal, not just to us, but to culture. And the whole way that music went and all the bands that came in the wake of those bands are because of R.E.M. And then does our whole comedy scene ever exist without music modeling the independent model? Of course.
Starting point is 00:18:16 Like R.E.M. is one of the big college rock bands that built it. Yeah. Oh, good God. I know. It's a lot. It's a lot to handle. R.E.M.
Starting point is 00:18:24 Yeah. Anyway, it was a 1930 know. It's a lot. It's a lot to handle. R.E.M. Yeah. Anyway, it was a 1930s government-funded arts project improv show. Improv show. It was pretty great. And that's how you and I met. We did Little Man shows. Yeah. And then you would do Sunshine Gang,
Starting point is 00:18:38 and then we would hang out at McManus Bar, which is what the Don't Think Twice bar kind of is modeled after, where the improvisers hang out afterwards. And that's where you and I were friendly. And then what's funny is, is you and I, how we came together, and maybe this is too minute, but it's like, we were at Bonnaroo. Yeah. At the tent. In like 2012, 13, we were both like on the same bill or something like that, like in one of those tents in Tennessee. And the tent is always good at the music. The comedy tent is always good at the music festival
Starting point is 00:19:11 because generally it's one of the only air-conditioned locations. I'm laughing in advance of your answer because I know that this is not only, people are thinking you're joking. It's actually oddly true. The comedy tent at Bonner is the best. It's only popular because of temperature. It's always full and it's half full
Starting point is 00:19:29 with people there to see the comedy and half full of people who are just coming down and they need to feel cool air on their skin. You're staring at an audience. I've done Bonner a bunch of times. You're staring at an audience of people who are either on drugs or were on drugs.
Starting point is 00:19:46 I've been awake for 72 hours. Yes, I've been awake for 72 hours. And they look like they're at a cooling station and you're just a person who's talking at it. Yeah. But they get into it. Yeah. They can get into it.
Starting point is 00:20:02 Yeah. But I told a story there and you came up to me and you were like, dude, I haven't seen you do much standup. Like you're getting pretty good, man. You're getting pretty good. I remember sensing like, that's cool because I'd always admired you for some very specific reasons too. And I remember saying like, that means the world.
Starting point is 00:20:22 If you ever need anybody to open shows, keep me in mind. It was probably a year or two later that you reached out. I forget, we crossed paths, maybe asked Kat a couple times. You know what's funny is when I was saying hi to you, I've told you this before, someone had just said to me, Chris Gethard was trashing you about something, but I don't know what it was about. I also don't think that that's true.
Starting point is 00:20:44 No? No. All right. I can't imagine, because I mean, I'm someone who's always, my... I'll take it out then. Yeah, I don't. No, no, no. If it doesn't go anywhere, I'll take it out.
Starting point is 00:20:56 No, because you should keep it in, because it's one of those weird things about how the comedy scene works, because I'm not really someone who's spent much time trashing others to my knowledge. If I have, it's stuff that I'll generally stand by. But I remember before, like, knew you from Little Man, always really liked everybody from Little Man, liked doing those shows. You guys always brought an audience, which was very cool as the other half of the bill, you know? And then I always remember it was you and then when John came
Starting point is 00:21:27 and there was a stretch where from my perspective it looked like you really took John under your wing too and you were like this guy's awesome and I'm going to make sure everybody knows it and then you were the two who I noticed you'd come do shows with us at UCB you'd jump in on the Nights of Our Lives
Starting point is 00:21:41 storytelling show that I started that's when I started as a solo performer branching away from the improv was like ass cat monologues but really the show nights of our lives you were the guys you'd come do it and we'd all go to hang out afterwards and you'd be like oh no we got i'm gonna i gotta go do the cellar yeah i'm gonna run out to brooklyn or i don't know i've got this show here or there blah blah blah i gotta go up i gotta get up early because i'm i'm starting tomorrow. And I'm like, oh, these guys can go anywhere in the city. And I always felt that you and John were the two I looked to of that. And I always, I made that a major goal of mine of like,
Starting point is 00:22:14 it doesn't matter if it like, great, I can have pretty much free reign at UCB. That means I can do some stuff at Rafifi and some of the Brooklyn rooms. That's cool. That's cool. But like, you guys are go into standup New York, which back then to me felt like walking into a meat grinder. You know what I mean? You guys can go to the comedy cellar,
Starting point is 00:22:31 which felt like, Oh, those guys all make fun of us for doing improv. I get what you mean. Like you guys were all city. I've always used, that's the phrase that the old graffiti artists used to use. Like are you on so many trains that every neighborhood sees your tag?
Starting point is 00:22:44 Oh, that's interesting. That's all city. I like that. All city city and i always felt like you and john were two of the ones i knew who were all city and then whiplash i felt like that show started to bring some of the club people that's when i started to realize like oh a guy like gary gallman or ted alexandro they'll come out of the clubs they can swing and hit at the alt rooms too colin quinn will come but you know what's funny is that's why I took my tour this summer to London, Paris, and Iceland, is you want to be all world.
Starting point is 00:23:11 See, that's something to aspire to right there. It doesn't mean you'll kill in London the way you'll kill here, but you want to bring it there and go, oh, that reference is actually specific to living in America. And who needs it? Who thinks like this, man? Who else is thinking like this, though? There's a few people.
Starting point is 00:23:33 Only, dude, having done with your work habits, by the way, I don't know how much, I've seen them in action. Yeah. And it's like when you're in work mode, it's impressive. And I'm a workaholic. And unbearable. No, it's like- According to sources familiar with the matter.
Starting point is 00:23:49 Look, dude, I'm like, there's a reason you get to take a comedic one-man show to Broadway. You got to work as hard as Mike Birbiglia. And I've seen it. Oh, that's nice. But you're also the only person I know who's like, okay, it's great that it's playing all over America, but got to make sure it's hitting in Iceland. You've had a thing where you've become symbolic of a type of comedian in this kind of tribalism of comedy right now and that is not i don't know that that's of my own doing and it's been very hard the past few years yeah it's been
Starting point is 00:24:17 fucking annoying if i'm being honest and i hate to get mad but I've been slammed by some people who seem to hold me up as the pinnacle of all weirdo stuff. I'm like, first of all, because I'm the easiest one to make fun of. They're not making fun of Eugene Merman. He's on Bob's Burgers. You know what I mean? I don't really have much. You don't have Bob's Burgers? I don't have as much to fight back.
Starting point is 00:24:43 You know what I mean? But yeah, for some reason I am the enemy but here's the thing that is both uplifting and frustrating is that in New York when that has happened when there have been some people who have slammed me
Starting point is 00:24:59 as like the weirdo guy and I'm not trying to name names back because it really the old comedy guy their whole I'm not trying to name names back because it really... The old comedy guy, the indie comedy guy. And they're like, their whole thing is like, that's not comedy, this is comedy. What's real, comedy. Which is insane because it's like,
Starting point is 00:25:12 what's comedy is whatever makes people laugh and connects with people. And that's all it is. And if you want to get cutthroat, I remember when some of that stuff happened, one of the people who really went out of his way to let me know he had my back and who said some stuff to some people was like Keith Robinson at the Cellar.
Starting point is 00:25:30 That's nice. Who was like, why are you picking on that dude? Right. Do I do it? He was like an OG Cellar comic. Yeah, and I'm not trying to put words in Keith's mouth, but it meant so much to me. And he was just like, I don't do what you do.
Starting point is 00:25:40 I don't get half the shit you do, but I've known you, you've been around New York for years paying your rent doing this, and I respect that. I do feel like in New York, that's always kind of been the barometer. The thing that gets me is some of the people who come after me
Starting point is 00:25:55 for my act say that it's too alt, say that I represent the soft side. They're the same people who say comedians should be able to say whatever they want. And if there's a market for it, let it go. But it's like, well, if there's a market for me being emo and sensitive, why is that somehow out of bounds? Right. And instead I just have to deal with your fans on Twitter for years. Even after people, even after some of these people have apologized to me personally I just get tweets and if I'm having a bad day it'll be like
Starting point is 00:26:31 this person's fan just listened to this episode they put on their podcast two years ago and they've apologized to me four times but their fans are still shitting on me I'm like I think I might need to go to fucking grad school I'm going to fight this hard so I can hang out with bullies who don't like me me i'm like i think i might need to go to fucking grad school man because what am i gonna fight i'm gonna fight this hard so i can hang out with like bullies who don't like me you know that's what it feels like on the bad days and it's a bummer it's a bummer between that and kind of outgrowing
Starting point is 00:26:55 that's the thing that's so frustrating you were we were laughing before i'm not the representative of the alt scene anymore i'm a 42 year old white dad who lives in the of the alt scene anymore. I'm a 42-year-old white dad who lives in the suburbs. The alt scene doesn't need me leading the charge anymore. There's people leading the charge doing really cool shit. There's people like Sarah Sherman now. There's people like Patty Harrison now, Meg Scalter now. These are people who I watch where I'm like, go. Dude, seeing Sarah Sherman on SNL, that thing where she was messing colin and the prop got messed up and she just rolled with it i was you can imagine i was sitting there
Starting point is 00:27:29 as the guy who did like the weird live show that went from public all i ever wanted i used to sit and think so much about like let's mess up on it's it's live tv let it be loose let the let's let some blanks be left to fill be filled in let's like see what happens when it crumbles and they have to watch us rebuild it and then Sarah's up there and something goes wrong she has this smirk on her face I was like this is like making me happy in my soul to see this happen on SNL
Starting point is 00:27:56 I'm like yeah those people are carrying that torch so I'm like if you wanted to make fun of me five or six years ago great I also have a TV show to fight back now it just feels like I'm like an old guy just trying to fucking pay my mortgage and hang out with my son leave me alone I don't even have a platform to fight back
Starting point is 00:28:14 I wish we could name names but I know who you're talking about that sad thing is there's been three or four three or four people who have done it I don't know why I'm't give you a pot shot. I'm low enough on the ladder. They're not going to come after you for being a storyteller.
Starting point is 00:28:30 You're too successful at it. No, they used to though. In my 20s and 30s, people used to go after me. He's not a real comic or whatever. But then like I feel like, yeah. What does it mean? But I feel like they just kind of gave up at a certain point on that criticism but people come after you
Starting point is 00:28:46 I think it's honestly it's tribalism and comedy and it's common enemy yeah right so they're like well we need an enemy
Starting point is 00:28:55 yeah who could the enemy be well Chris is you know he's different from us and I just the thing though is like
Starting point is 00:29:02 they all have a big tribe I'm like I don't really have I don't really have a tribe anymore. I'm kind of a lone wolf. I could always tell your fans when we were out on tour. Oh, that was so funny. I could always tell your fans from like a hundred feet away,
Starting point is 00:29:13 like Chris, one of yours is coming over. There was one time we were in Florida. They're all broken. They're all like, they all like have tattoos, like head to toe. And they're like, they, there aren't, a lot of them are on crutches. Like they're just like, I don't like, there's nothing wrong with crutches
Starting point is 00:29:26 there was one night where I remember you had said maybe a day or two before, a lot of your fans, I can tell who they are because they're like broken people and then two nights later there was a one-armed guy who came up and gave me a hug and was like I watch every episode of your show and I was like, not even making a joke
Starting point is 00:29:41 I'm like, you said oh they're kind of broken people and now there's a one-armed man. Like it's actually literal that there is a person with a handicap 48 hours later hugging me. How do you make this not disparaging? Because I'm not meaning it in a disparaged way. No, it was a beautiful thing.
Starting point is 00:29:56 I love representing those people. Yeah, like Gethers fans are so specifically wonderful. They're just like, they're just, I don't even, I don't know if broken people's the right way to describe it. Your fans are like people who, let's put it this way. Your fans are people who definitively feel like outsiders. And they feel like they have been scorned by a lot, by groups of people and your comedy is inviting to them and that's awesome. So when those fans come up, it's usually pretty awesome.
Starting point is 00:30:29 But it's also a visual. There is some spectacle to it sometimes. There's no demographic to it either. There's times where it's like there's the girl with the nose ring and the purple hair standing right next to an actual grandma and granddaughter
Starting point is 00:30:41 who both listen to Beautiful Anonymous together. There you go. And then, you know, it's really inspiring and beautiful and uh and beautiful anonymous has been a runaway hit it's been huge for me it's been beautiful thank you to ira glass for featuring the first episode so people yeah so people if people don't know beautiful anonymous is this amazing podcast that the gether does where he literally talks to an anonymous stranger for the full episode, essentially on the phone,
Starting point is 00:31:09 and hashes out serious issues. Sometimes. Sometimes. Whatever it wants to be. Sometimes it's fun and just fun and goofy. Yeah. But what's so amazing about the show is that it shows, and you're not showing off,
Starting point is 00:31:23 but your prowess for improvising, it's essentially a two-person improv scene. And the other person doesn't realize. And the other person doesn't realize they're in an improv scene. It's just me listening. What's the most unusual thing? What's the thing to jump on and isolate? You're finding the game in the scene.
Starting point is 00:31:36 Exactly. It's just using those old UCB techniques on the phone. But yeah, they all show up and it's a beautiful thing. I love that podcast. It's a, yeah, it's, it's funny too. It was on this American life. And I remember like, like five years after it happened, I saw Ira Glass at Littlefield. I think Littlefield.
Starting point is 00:31:56 Yeah. And I was like, all right, I just got to thank you. Like you put my show on yours and totally saved my life in a way. He's like, what are you talking about? I was like, well, it got millions of listeners after that and it still gets hundreds of thousands every week and it's been my job for five years. And as a comedian, especially having my first kid,
Starting point is 00:32:14 the idea that I had this gig where I would have a two-year contract and I knew I had money coming in two years out, that just doesn't happen. And it's been my job. At this point, it's been seven years. And he just went, I literally had no idea. Helix mattress is ground floor sponsor on Working It Out.
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Starting point is 00:33:23 free pillows, please, immediately. For our Working Out listeners, go to helixsleep.com slash burbigs with Helix. Better sleep starts now. No, now. No, now. helixsleep.com slash burbigs. All right, back to the show. All right, back to the show. Before we go to the slow round, I'm going to bring up two things about Don't Think Twice. One of them is that you're completely naked in the footage in the movie that we filmed, which means you're completely naked on the day
Starting point is 00:34:01 in front of the whole cast. Me and Keegan and Killian and Kate. I remember who was there. Yeah, yeah. They're literally on a poster. They're all staring at you. Yeah, all of those people have seen me. Yeah, we saw you totally naked.
Starting point is 00:34:19 I feel a real family bond with that whole cast. Yeah, me too. They're right behind me but like i i i dare i say i love them yeah i love you all yeah same yeah that was a great stretch that was a great stretch it was it was a very intense experience yeah we came in we did improv workshops with liz allen together yeah you were i you were the hardest to convert into being a fake improviser because you were a real improviser. It's almost like you came into a movie about professional figure skating
Starting point is 00:34:57 and everyone else was an amateur and you were a professional figure skater and you were like, fuck these people with their fake figure skating. I also had Laird. I was phasing out of improv at that time. That was a couple years. I think I stopped performing at UCB around 2012. We shot the movie, what, 2015, 2016? Yeah, 2015 came out in 16.
Starting point is 00:35:22 Yeah, so it was like a few years after and I was still, you know, UCB was becoming a little bit more how it ended in New York which was like a little more corporate a little bit more second city I had stepped away and was really making a lot of inroads into stand up
Starting point is 00:35:37 but was never going to shake this idea of that's a UCB guy I can wear that with pride having been there when it was, but in the time it was also like, it was tough. It was tough to kind of feel like diving backwards, let alone the emotional side of, I mean, like there was, there were some nights after I didn't get hired at SNL
Starting point is 00:35:57 that were very, very hard to be there. To show up at ASCAP with all the people, you know, with Seth Meyers, Amy Poehler, John Lotz, all these people. The who's who of improv cast members who used to play in that ASCAP show on Sunday nights. Yeah, and I felt like, you know, a lot of those people went to bat for me, took a chance on me, and I didn't step up to the plate,
Starting point is 00:36:16 and that was hard to reconcile. There was a really hard night where the, during the writer's strike, they did a live SNL at UCB. Oh, I remember that, yeah. To raise money for the crew. And I went and said hi. And UCB had been like, we don't want anybody sneaking in. You're going to get yelled at.
Starting point is 00:36:31 And I remember being like, hey, I just worked there. Can I just come backstage and say hi? And they were like, hey, you're not, we don't know why you think. UCB could, part of what happened there was there were times where they would just send the harshest emails. They were like, we don't get what you, was there anything unclear about the email we spent like nobody tried to sneak backstage i'm like i've been performing here for free for 12 years yeah can i just sneak in and say hi to these people who might who i'm on their radar yeah there's some hard nights you
Starting point is 00:37:00 know there's some hard nights so it was i always felt bad because it took me a while i should have just explained that to liz allen but i'll never forget there was one time she had us doing some like organic improv warm-up which you know for people listening that means it's like a lot of just like sound and movement like a real actory exercise about your physicality and zip zap zap like making noises moving around at one point she's like let's pause chris i need you to commit like 10 times harder and then when we were done she's like, let's pause. Chris, I need you to commit like 10 times harder. And then when we were done, she's like, so do you know why I asked you that? And I was like, yeah, because I wasn't committing at all.
Starting point is 00:37:30 She's like, oh, so you knew it? And I was like, yeah. She's like, why aren't you committing at all? I'm like, because this was my whole life for over a decade. And it feels really weird to dive back into it. And it's not that I'm not trying to be disrespectful to you or this. It's just, it's like, I think I said to her, like, I feel like this used to be my most comfortable pair of shoes
Starting point is 00:37:50 and you're asking me to put them on and all I can see is how beat up and scuffed up and fucked up they are. Like, I'm looking, like, that's kind of how I feel. You're like a bank robber going back for one last heist. A little bit, a little bit. So it was a weird emotional experience for me. I also remember, too, the the scene um i mean spoiler for anybody who hasn't seen the film you know the scene where my dad gets injured yes and uh i remember i don't know if you remember shooting
Starting point is 00:38:17 that oh yeah but i was like going off in a corner going like okay how am i gonna react when my dad actually dies like when i'm standing next to in my in head, when I'm standing next to my father's coffin, like what are the things I wish I'm going to have said to him? Should I be saying them right now? Made myself start crying. Tammy Sager actually stepped in. They went to call lunch. The first AD went to call lunch.
Starting point is 00:38:34 Tammy ran up to you and was like, you cannot ask him to go eat a fucking sandwich and then come back and do this again. Like you're not going to get the same thing. And also look, I was like a blubbering mess. And I remember after Judd Apatow saw the movie, he complimented, he was like,
Starting point is 00:38:49 oh, dude, you really acted your ass off in that. And he's like, that scene where you were crying, it looked like you were really crying. And I'm like, yeah, Judd, I was off thinking about what's my dad's death going to be like, and this and that, blah, blah, blah. And I went off in a corner and was just dwelling on it until I had a breakdown.
Starting point is 00:39:03 And he's just like, you can also give you eye drops for that next time. Oh my God, that's so good. I was like, what? He's like, yeah, there are these eye drops that are kind of like intentionally irritating. It might even be like just like a puff of air or something. They put it in your eye, you start crying. You just shoot it right after that next time. You don't have to do all that next time.
Starting point is 00:39:20 I was like, oh my God. But the way you gave me notes in that movie too i've joked with you forever about it too so i could always tell when i was failing because you were you knew me so well and you knew how fucking fragile i am as a as a person and you'd come up to me like so uh like it would be a big group scene with everybody and you'd just like come over to me and you'd be like i'm talking for a second we'd be off the side you'd be like it would really help me if you could like do that like you know like told and you'd say say something that was totally different than what I did. Oh, I totally fucked that scene up.
Starting point is 00:39:49 And Mike's being real nice about it right now. Everybody else was nailing it. And you were just so kind about giving me those adjustments. Oh, man. Which was really funny. Do you also know, there's like a running thing on Reddit in particular of people. It's come up every few years, I've noticed,
Starting point is 00:40:11 where there's people who were at the tapings of the improv sessions. Oh, really? Who will talk about Don't Think Twice. Really? And specifically what it was like for them to be watching the improvised sessions. And a lot of people have cited a story. I've seen it come up a few times where I improvised that line, I think. I think it was,
Starting point is 00:40:26 I don't want to take credit if it wasn't. No, no, please. Opening Keegan's character's casket and I go, oh, it's just his headshots in there.
Starting point is 00:40:32 Oh my God, that's so funny. And you apparently called cut and ran across the scene because we had already shot everything in my direction.
Starting point is 00:40:39 Yeah, we're going to shoot that. We're going to get a cutaway of that. Why can't you say shit like that when the cameras are actually pointed at you, man? Okay, so this is going to be a slow round.
Starting point is 00:40:55 What nicknames have you been given in your life, good or bad? The one that tormented me the most as a child was Mega Head. Mega Head? Because of the size of my forehead, yeah. I don't think of you as having a big head, but you have a big forehead, I guess? Yeah. Well, the thing you have to keep in mind is I'm 42 now. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:13 And everyone thinks I'm balding, and I am. But I've always had this. Like I had this when I was 13. My grandfather had this. I've always had this widow's peak. So this looks like middle-aged balding, but I had this when I was 13, just less. Like, yeah, you're receiving hairline.
Starting point is 00:41:30 Yeah, but it's not receiving as much as people think. Like it started so poorly. Yeah, mega head. A lot of them were about my size of my head. When TurboGrafx-16 came out, the video game system, it was Bonk, because they're Mario. Oh, yeah, Bonk. Head Headly was a brief one.
Starting point is 00:41:48 Head Headly. Mine was Big. Patrice O'Neill used to call me Big Headlia. Big Headlia. Yeah, yeah, because I had a big head. That got a lot in common. And then, yeah, I mean, and then obviously Get Hard. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:57 They didn't have to walk too far. They didn't really. Get Hard is literally how your name is spelled. Yeah, phonetically. I mean, you're a walking childhood insult. Just a fucking target. I might as well have just been born as a target. You had to be a comedian.
Starting point is 00:42:11 We had no choice. And I was also born with a crazy joint condition. Oh, gosh, yes. You've never noticed that? No, no, we've talked about this. I mean, you've seen footage. Dude, speaking of the naked footage, did I ever tell you, I was once at a concert,
Starting point is 00:42:22 a punk rock concert in Bushwick. This girl came up to me, and she's like, don't know you i'm like all right this is interesting but you know weirdos like to talk to me i'm like oh that's cool how are you she's like i'm good she's like i was just at a test screening for a movie you were in and i was like the improv movie she's like yeah she's the first person i hadn't touched base with you or greg or anybody i was like you saw it you saw the cut she saw the cut. She's like, yeah. And I'm like, how was it? She's like, it was a really good movie.
Starting point is 00:42:48 And I was like, but? And she's like, how come they showed like full penis 90 seconds in? And I was like, they showed it? And she's like, yeah. And then I remember telling you that and you were like, yeah, that's been like pretty consistent from audiences. That like audiences are like, why is like the third scene of this movie a like full screen image?
Starting point is 00:43:08 Yeah, so we took your penis out of the movie because the audiences were too shocked by it. What can I say, baby? What can I say? We shouldn't detest audiences. Well, because the joke of it was it was based on a friend of mine from years ago who would kind of always be looking for what's the
Starting point is 00:43:26 most shocking way. And how do you shock improvisers? There's nothing that shocks us, right? There's comedians. How do you even shock us? And sometimes he would just show up naked to something. And it was funny. It was like, this is absurd. And I was like,
Starting point is 00:43:42 oh, that's sort of a fun character-defining thing about Gethard's character. He walks in naked. And so we shot it fully naked. You're completely naked. And then you agreed to do it. It was so nice of you. Dude, having to go off into a little room with the makeup person.
Starting point is 00:43:58 And she was like, yeah, we can't have glare. Just like they put powder on your face. No, no. Powder on my fucking gooch no way really lifting up my penis getting powered and i was like really she's like i've done it before don't worry like everybody's a pro no so it was powder it was like it was like penis makeup dude i'm so pale is it penis powder or penis makeup i think it was regular makeup that's still applied to a penis i don't think there's any specific makeup right but it was regular makeup that's still applied to a penis. I don't think there was penis-specific makeup.
Starting point is 00:44:25 Right, but it was makeup. It wasn't just powder. No, it was mostly powder. Okay. From what I remember, it was mostly powder. Okay. It was powder, and then I think she, if I'm being totally graphic, powder, and then she also wanted to do, like, a pube check.
Starting point is 00:44:38 Oh, my God. Just to make sure everything was... Like, in order? Like, it wasn't gangly and out of control? Just not looking completely fucking nuts. Yeah, exactly. Like she just wanted to make sure I had done right and like done some manscaping before I got there, which I had, which I had.
Starting point is 00:44:51 Yeah. Hair and makeup. We would do those test screens. At the end of the day, it's hair and makeup. Yeah, it's hair and makeup. We did test screenings for that movie. And as you know, people saw your penis. But the biggest comment early on
Starting point is 00:45:06 that we we guided around was um uh these two women go uh we don't like it and we go why don't you why don't you like it uh they're losers and so to this day ir Ira Glass and I will always say, they're losers. Yeah. Because it's like, but then, so then what we did was we went back in the edit and we created this scene where your character says, and it gets quoted a lot, your 20s are about hope and your 30s are about realizing how dumb it was to hope. And so it's the characters saying it themselves so that the audience goes, oh, okay, they're understanding the plight that they're in.
Starting point is 00:45:53 And it's that feeling. And I think that line, that was a written line. I take no credit on that line. But the thing about it that I think hits people so much is it tells everybody else, oh, when this one guy's moving on, the others know. The window's closing and we might be losers. And you know, like that's a feeling I have often felt.
Starting point is 00:46:12 I've often felt like the last guy through the door when it comes to like establishing myself. Yeah. Historically in our comedy scene. And I've done a lot of cool shit along the way, but it's always felt like I'm skating by for sure. There's something about that line that it's not just you that's relating to that. There's a lot of people that relate to that idea. Yeah. Because your 20s really are about hope.
Starting point is 00:46:33 Very easy for me to say. Very, very easy for me. It's so easy for me to be like, yeah. Because your 20s do feel about hope, even when they're bad. I remember in my 20s just being like, oh, this is terrible, but things are going to get better. Your 20s, you spend a lot of time feeling like, why can't I just get where I'm going already?
Starting point is 00:46:53 Yes, yes. Which presupposes you're going somewhere. Yes. Then your 30s, you're like, this might be it. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah, isn't that wild? There might not be, I don't think there's another place to go.
Starting point is 00:47:04 Right, because your 40s, I i mean the odds of in entertainment of your 40s going well oh boy it's not good yeah welcome to grad school welcome to grad school like i'm gonna get this in case i need it because i might need it might need it okay do might need it. Okay. Do you remember an inauthentic version of yourself from your life? I think historically, I had to really reconnect with a lot of my friends who I grew up with. Yeah. Because I think when I started going for comedy, I threw myself in 100%. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:39 And really disconnected. And I remember when I moved back to New Jersey a couple of years ago, even before that, I'd reach out to people and people were always like, dude, it's cool. You're going for what you're going for. But in my head, I was always like, man, I'm out here trying to prove everybody wrong on behalf of me and the other weird kids from high school yeah and then I realized I reconnected with all them 10-15 years later and they were all like no it's like cool you've done like yeah we got to see you in the office that's awesome but like we all moved on and we have our own lives right our own victories and our own thing they didn't want to connect as much like I had this dialogue in my head that I was somehow like representing all the kids I grew up with, but in a way that was very unfair to them because they weren't asking me to do that.
Starting point is 00:48:29 Yeah. And it's that thing that I think a lot of artists learn of like I sit here going, I'm going to prove everybody wrong. And that's a very dissatisfying way to approach an artistic career. Because what happens is you accomplish things and you sit here and go, it hasn't put out that fire. Why not? Yeah. accomplish things and you sit here and go, it hasn't put out that fire. Why not? I thought if I ever got a job like X, Y, and Z, like I had Comedy Central half hour. That didn't put out that feeling. I had an HBO special. That didn't put out that feeling. I had my own TV show. That
Starting point is 00:48:54 didn't put out that feeling. You go, why not? Because this idea, I'm going to prove everybody wrong. Nobody's out here thinking about me. There's nobody I need to prove wrong. There's nobody particularly against me. The bullies from my neighborhood when I was 13, 14 years old, they got their own kids now. They're either shitty people or they grew out of it and they're good people now. They haven't thought about me in 10 years
Starting point is 00:49:14 and I'm thinking about them still. I love that. The thing that bummed me out about it was there were people who I didn't talk to for years where my head, and I can name my friend, Jamie, my friend, Carson, these kids who were like the other weird kids. And we all would go hang out in Carson's, my friend, Mark. He lives in Baltimore now. I stay with him when I tour in Baltimore. Oh yeah. We all hang out in Carson's basement. He's got a drum set down there and they're all in bands. And I'm the funny guy. In my mind, I'm like, we're the weirdos and there's the cool kids.
Starting point is 00:49:46 And they don't think people like me succeed. I come from a certain neighborhood in town. My family didn't have money. I see the rich kids, all these things. And in my mind, I'm going, all these guys are going to be so proud of me. They're going to be like, fuck yeah, he's out there. And everything he accomplishes represents us. And I realized all I did was just cost myself a year.
Starting point is 00:50:03 I should have just been in better touch. Oh, wow. You know what I mean? Yeah. They were living lives and having their kids and slowing down. You were out there trying to prove them wrong. Meanwhile, they were sort of figuring out their own sort of right and wrong with their own lives.
Starting point is 00:50:17 The bullies didn't care. And the sad part is the kids who I felt like I was like out here and I'm like, I'm going to be the fucking champion. They didn't care either because it's not how real life works. Me getting to play a men's rights activist on Parks and Rec doesn't mean my fucking friend Mark from high school is like throwing his fist up
Starting point is 00:50:36 like Judd Nelson at the end of The Breakfast Club. Can you think of a moment in your life where in hindsight it changed the trajectory of your life but at the time you didn't realize it? I had a teacher in high school. The hindsight it changed the trajectory of your life but at the time you didn't realize it i had a teacher in high school the way it all started for me i had a teacher in high school pull me aside she was an english teacher she was younger she was like take my drama class next year i was like i don't think that's for me she's like just trust me and she did all improv games um and it made me obsessed with trying to find my way into comedy.
Starting point is 00:51:07 I mean, I was, you know, back in the 90s, I was like VHS taping Whose Line Is It Anyway? And like lived close enough into the city. Sometimes I'd like take the train and sneak in and my parents wouldn't know. Like a lot of kids would do that and they'd go finding underage bars. I was finding improv shows to go watch, you know. But you know what I realized? It's like, I was just kind of a wise ass. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:30 And she was noticing that. And like, I was just kind of like an angry kid in high school trying to say stuff to be funny and be a wise ass. Largely because my older brother was pretty brutally bullied. So I was always trying to just like chase people away and be funny. Just to kind of, you know, it's a weapon. It's don't mess with me. I'm funnier than you are. That's a reason to not mess with me. She noticed it and was like, this might actually be talent. So I certainly can look back to her saying, take my class as a moment that changed my life. It's more realizing me being a wise ass beforehand was a cry for help. And I had no idea that someone was
Starting point is 00:52:06 actually hearing it. She actually heard it. I had, she's like probably the only good teacher I would point to. There were other good teachers in my school. The only one who had a very positive hands-on effect on my life. It's just this one woman, Melissa Blevins. She still teaches in New Jersey. She's great. And yeah, just the idea that someone was like, this kid is not just like a wise ass. He's not just a punk. There's talent here. I had no idea anybody was even realizing it was a cry for help, let alone answering it. What's the best piece of advice that you've been given that you used? Oh, I'm kind of in the process of betraying it, but I remember my shrink when I started with her in 2007.
Starting point is 00:52:52 I had a lot of stuff going on. I had been out of therapy for a few years. One of the big things that was happening to me, it was the don't think twice era of my life. I was on an improv team with my two best friends in improv. Bobby Moynihan, he gets SNL. Zach Woods gets The Office. I was on an improv team with my two best friends in improv. Bobby Moynihan, he gets SNL, Zach Woods gets The Office. And then like people who I'd been teaching in class, like Aubrey Plaza, I taught her in her level three class.
Starting point is 00:53:15 She moves up to Parks and Rec. Wow. So happy for all of them, but also stressing so hard. And Alana and Abby did Broad City. They had been students of mine. They gave me a part on that show, which was so nice of them. But my shrink was hearing all this and seeing me just like feeling this weight. And she told me, she said, give yourself no other option.
Starting point is 00:53:36 And I asked her what she meant. She was just like, basically stop accepting money for anything that's not the things you wish they were. If it's not acting or writing or performing comedy, no more money for teaching improv classes. No more freelance magazine writing, which I used to do a bunch of back then. She's like, stop it. I was like, it's how I pay my rent. And she was just like, look, the thing that's killing you isn't that it's
Starting point is 00:54:05 not happening is that you don't know so give yourself no other option So here's some things I wrote down. I was waiting in line at a coffee shop, and I was sixth in line. And I noticed that the woman who was fourth in line got really focused on her phone. And I thought, oh no, the area in front of her between her and the third person in line is getting bigger. And it feels like she's not even in line, which means I'm not in line. And the guy behind her looks on his phone. So now we're like a triplet of people who actually aren't in line anymore. And then some new people walked in the cafe and they went straight in front of the line
Starting point is 00:55:09 because they didn't think there was a line and they were right. And now I'm in a line to nowhere. You're in a line to nowhere. You're in a line to that woman's phone. That's the funny angle. I'm in a line to nowhere. I'm in a line to that woman's phone.
Starting point is 00:55:23 Like imagine if you were in a conga line at a wedding that's split in half and someone just led you out of the wedding to a funeral. You can't just stop the line. Lines go places. You can't lead the line someplace else.
Starting point is 00:55:40 Now I'm just in a line to be in. This line doesn't, the only reason to get in the line is it ends in the thing you want. Yeah, yeah. You now have me in a line to be in. This line doesn't. The only reason to get in the line is it ends in the thing you want. Yeah, yeah. You now have me in a line. I'm in a line. She might as well be facing a brick fucking wall, right? I'm in a line to nothing.
Starting point is 00:55:56 You just joined a line because there's a line. That's really funny. That's great. Is your notebook like this where if someone found it, they'd call the police? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Are you kidding me? I'm thinking of one of like thinking about how to describe the early days of in the first six months of being a parent. Those early days, it's like my wife is just like, I remember she he was probably four months old.
Starting point is 00:56:21 And she was like, I know you don't drink coffee, but if you could just learn how to work the coffee maker, just make me coffee. Can you just make me coffee? Like I don't have time to make fucking coffee. Can you make the coffee? And the first time I tried, I broke the coffee machine. Oh my God, no.
Starting point is 00:56:36 And I was just like, oh, I should just kill myself. I'm useless. She's got this like silent communication system with this child who calms when he hears her voice and knows when she's around and I'm literally a pool of spreading coffee on our couch me being like
Starting point is 00:56:52 first time I tried to use it I broke it I broke it this might dovetail into it because I have a joke that I probably won't use but I think it's sort of funny I was watching this YouTube how-to video on how to use an outdoor grill, and the music sounded like porn music in the video. So I started fucking the grill, and now my penis has grill marks
Starting point is 00:57:15 and my balls are lightly toasted. But it's in that same universe of like you probably ended up on the how-to use the coffee maker video space. But sometimes you have that with jokes. You write jokes. You go, I'm never going to do that on stage. I mean, I might do it on – I shouldn't say that. I might do it on stage at the Comedy Cellar or like a fun one-off.
Starting point is 00:57:39 It's not going to be in your show. It's not going to be in the full show. I've learned that from you too. It's just totally not fitting with what I do. Is there something funny too? I don't know exactly what it would be. It's like, and then I'm fucking the grill. The next thing I know, we're grownups saying this. Yeah. Grownup adults speaking into microphones saying, so what if it's, I'm fucking the grill. But if you're, but if you're, then you're like, um, we have kids. kids and then if you and then the next thing i know a charcoal grill is licking my balls which is of course the grill stepmom that's the girl step
Starting point is 00:58:11 i got the gas grill the newer model the charcoal grill is like the stepmom gosh that's fantastic the difference between that's so funny for a guy in his forties. You know, it's really, I like about what you're saying for a guy in his forties, the difference between pornography and a video about a girl. So close. They're not that far apart. They're kind of hitting the same dopamine buttons for me at this point. Like, Oh, that girl looks fucking awesome. And that woman is that she's related or not. Are they related or not? Those two women. i can't tell those videos they give me similar pleasure we do one final thing which is working it out for a cause which is i donate to an organization that you think is doing a particularly good job right now or needs help and then we just shine a light on them. We link to them in the show notes and then people can contribute if they want.
Starting point is 00:59:09 I wanted to shout out, my wife is a very, very passionate environmentalist. And it has made me really open my eyes. And she's a huge supporter of an organization called the NRDC. Oh yes, fantastic. Natural Resources Defense Council, I believe. opened my eyes and she's a huge supporter of an organization called the NRDC. Oh yes, fantastic. Natural Resources Defense Council, I believe. And she's done tons of research and we donate to them every year because they seem to really put their money towards actual action and things that count. And I love to mention them. I always give to them, I do a lot of their shows. They've put on some fundraisers. And I can actually explain a little bit of what they do too.
Starting point is 00:59:49 If you look at the Flint water crisis and things like that, they're a legal counsel. They're often representing people who wouldn't be able to afford to be represented in cases like that. And we really need those people. Yeah, yeah. We need organizations like that. And I certainly, there's a lot of, you know,
Starting point is 01:00:16 the on-brand one for me would be a mental health one, but I want to shout out the environment because I think it's all these things tied together. And also I think it will make my wife very happy. Yes. This is for Hallie. And this is for Chris Gethard. This is NRDC.
Starting point is 01:00:32 And thanks for coming, Chris. This is a blast. Yeah. It's always so fun to talk to you. Oh, it's been too long. It's been too long. Working it out because it's not done. It's been too long.
Starting point is 01:00:53 That's going to do it for another episode of Working It Out. You know, I love Chris Gathard. I think you can tell. He's just a fantastic, fantastic comedian, improviser, writer, actor. Thanks for joining us again on Working It Out our producers are myself along with Joseph Birbiglia and Peter Salamone, associate producer Mabel Lewis consulting producer Seth Barish, assistant producers Gary Simons and Lucy Jones, video recording by Chuck
Starting point is 01:01:18 Staten, sound mix by Ben Cruz supervising engineer Kate Polinski my consigliere is Mike Berkowitz. Special thanks to Marissa Hurwitz, Josh Upfall. And of course, my wife, the poet, J. Hope Stein. Her book is called Little Astronaut, a book of poems. It's beautiful. And of course, my daughter, Una,
Starting point is 01:01:39 who created the original radio fort made of pillows. Thanks most of all to you who are listening. Tell your friends, tell your enemies. You know, you might not have enemies per se, but I imagine sometimes you're walking down the street and the person in front of you is walking very slowly and you're like a fast walker like me because you used to walk to school as a kid. And you want to say like,
Starting point is 01:02:04 excuse me, like, why are you walking so slow? And also like sort of getting in my way, like as I'm trying to pass you, you're kind of drifting in front of me. Like that's what you might want to say. So here's what I, here's what I'd pitch. I'd pitch, excuse me, I was just admiring the way that you walk. And then I was thinking, one way to think about comedy in a whole new way would be to listen to Mike Birbiglia's work on that podcast. And then they're like, yeah, oh, really? Yeah? And you're like, yeah, I think you'd really like it.
Starting point is 01:02:44 Hey, do you think of yourself as a slow walker or a fast walker? This is a terrible idea. We're working it out. We'll see you next time, everybody.

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