Mike Birbiglia's Working It Out - 87. Atsuko Okatsuka: I'm Here to Make Friends
Episode Date: December 5, 2022When Atsuko Okatsuka first appeared on Working It Out in 2021, she and Mike were both still developing their new shows. Now Mike’s The Old Man and the Pool is on Broadway and Atsuko’s The Intruder... is an HBO comedy special. So Atsuko returns for a third chat with Mike to discuss the development of those shows. Plus jokes and stories about food conspiracies, making friends as an adult, and how to stop an awkward conversation.Please consider donating to Downtown Women's Center
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I was making my second boyfriend laugh a lot,
and he was like,
you should do stand-up.
You're like a stand-up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was like, what, me?
And yeah, that's the first time I'd heard that.
It's so funny.
That's a very bold statement to make,
because this is probably 2010 or so, 2008 even.
In the 2000 aughts,
it's not really a logical
conclusion that one,
because they're funny, should be a stand-up comedian.
No, no. I think
I realized he ultimately was trying to
get rid of me.
That is the voice of Atsuko Akatsuka.
There's a brand new chat with Atsuko.
This is so exciting. This is the voice of Atsuko Akatsuka. There's a brand new chat with Atsuko. This is so exciting.
This is the journey of the podcast.
If you're new to the podcast, this is a fun episode on its own.
Atsuko Akatsuka is a phenomenal comedian.
If you've been with the podcast for the last couple of years,
Atsuko is literally, this is our third episode.
We met because of the podcast.
Like, I was a fan of hers
through her Instagram,
and then I reached out and said,
hey, would you want to come to the podcast?
And it went really well.
And then we started touring together,
and then here we are
celebrating her HBO special
that comes out this week.
It's so fun.
Thanks to everyone who's been coming out
to the Old Man and the Pool at the Vivian Beaumont Theater.
I have to say, every night I go to work,
I just thank everything that is
and all of you out there for coming to the show.
It's possibly the most beautiful theater in the world.
I'm obsessed.
I'm such a nerd for theaters. And I think about the acoustics and the sight lines and in the world. I'm obsessed. I'm such a nerd for theaters.
And I think about the acoustics and the sight lines and all these things.
And that place is just perfect.
People keep sending me these Instagram shots from different seats in the house
and how every seat really is great.
So go get your tix on mikeonbroadway.com
or for like various deals and things, you can go on todaytix.com.
You can go to TDF, TKTS.
There's a lot of great ways to get tickets for like, you know,
in the 30s, 40s, and $50.
You don't have to spend a million dollars to come and see it.
But it's must close January 15th.
So get your tickets now because they're flying right now.
So definitely do that.
Ray Romano came last night, actually.
It was really exciting.
My parents have been sick.
They're okay.
But he made, I asked him, I've never asked someone to do this.
They're big fans of Ever in Love with Raymond.
And I asked him to make a video on my phone wishing them well.
And I think they really appreciate it.
So anyway, thanks, Ray Romano.
Ray Romano, still killing it after all these years of being this amazing comic
and such a nice guy.
So today on the show, Otsuko Akatsuka returns.
This is so exciting.
And her special is called The Intruder.
We talk about today.
Streaming on HBO Max December 10th this week.
Enjoy my conversation with the great Atsuko Akatsuka.
This is a super full circle thing for this podcast because listeners have been on the journey of this podcast.
Some are just new.
They just found it or whatever.
They maybe saw the Broadway show and they go,
oh, he has a podcast.
Welcome.
Yeah, for real, welcome.
Thanks for being here.
But for the diehards, from jump people,
you were on this podcast two years ago
because I was a fan of yours from Instagram,
like videos and stand-up you were posting.
And I was like, hey, shot in the dark,
would you want to come on the podcast?
You said yes.
We said, oh, great.
We get along great.
Hey, do you want to come open for me in Chicago? I'm at the Chicago Theater. You go, great. We get along great. Hey, do you want to come open for me in Chicago? I'm at the Chicago
Theater. You go, sure. We get along
great. I got along great with you and your husband, Ryan.
And we said, let's do more
dates. And then we did like tons of them.
We did 20, 30 dates.
All these cities. Best memories.
So fun. Running around.
So then, cut to,
we did episode two
of this. Now we're at episode three of it.
And along the way, there's a lot of, when you tour with people,
there's a lot of artistic cross-pollination
just because the sheer amount of time you're spending with people.
Right.
And you're going, hey, what about this?
You were saying, what about this about Old Man and the Pool?
I'm saying, what about this about your show?
And then along the way, we start talking about this really funny story and scary story about how you had an intruder
and in your home, you and Ryan's home in Los Angeles. And I had sort of made a suggestion
like, well, oh, that's so cool. Like, what if you broke that apart into multiple parts
of the show? You circled back to it.
Totally.
And that blew my mind.
Really?
Where it was like, oh, it was there the whole time,
but you were the one that was like,
he comes back three times, that's three acts.
Hello.
And I was like, yeah, hello.
And then that truly, that's how I tell the story
anytime everyone asks.
We were in, I want to say Minneapolis.
We were in Minneapolis in negative four degree weather.
It was so cold.
You have to walk through tunnels.
You can't even go outside.
You can't.
You can if you want to.
I would spend a few minutes at a time outside, feel alive, and then come back in.
Smoking cigarettes.
I was smoking cigarettes.
Which make you die.
Or dying.
I was outside dying. Do you say that you smoke cigarettes which make you die I was outside dying
do you say that you smoke cigarettes
can you say that
I do because when I quit I want to talk about it
right
you need a paper trail
on that you were smoking
before you quit smoking
totally then it means something
then it's a standing ovation
I love smoking I don't do it means something. Then it's a standing ovation. I love smoking. I don't
do it a lot, but I love it. Do you love it? Well, when you're addicted to something,
is it loving it? I don't think so. I need it. I need it. I don't think I love it.
When did you get hooked on cigarettes? I started when I was 18 because I just wanted to do something that I was allowed to do.
I wanted rights.
And I was like, I can do that just by being 18.
I'm going to do that.
Because I couldn't vote yet.
And so I was like, well, I can buy cigarettes.
Now that's cool.
I'll smoke that thing I've been watching all the Americans do, Marlboros.
The commercials worked.
All right.
Since this is part three,
and there's no holds barred,
it's like...
No frills.
Yeah.
And you finished a show, Intruder,
which is on HBO,
and I am in my final stages of my show,
The Old Man and the Pool, on Broadway.
My question is,
what do you think about me that I don't talk about on stage,
but you're like, it's kind of interesting about Mike that this thing.
Oh, wow.
Gosh, you're such an open book.
You think I covered it all?
No, you cover everything pretty well.
Okay, let's see.
So we just sat down before the podcast and you sat in the chair and
you fell over. I fell over, yes. Like Buster Keaton, except not with skill.
Yeah. Okay, let's paint the picture. I walked into the podcast, which is my office. I sit down
in the chair. I somehow collapse onto the chair.
It leads to almost a domino effect
where I crash into the pictures on the wall
and the bulletin board
and it all kind of like smashes.
And then you and Gary like helped me get up, I think.
And then I think that's where we are now.
But you're still okay.
It's like you always come back up like I'm good or like you literally just said, well, that's it.
And you said you almost got hit by a bus the other day.
Yeah, I almost got hit by a bus the other day.
And I talk about that in my show.
Like literally any of us can be hit by a bus and we really can.
And then the other day, I mean a foot away from being hit by a bus and we really can you know and then the other day like i like i mean a foot away from being hit by a bus yeah like near lincoln center a foot away i know which
hello hey look at where you're going public transpo but because you can't leave a review
for public transportation so i'd have to call i'd have to call the governor it would become a whole bureaucratic
yes
and so yeah things like that happen
to you and okay
so that's how you and Ryan like when
I leave
what do we say about Mike is that part
of it me falling into shit
we're just like god I'm so glad he's still
alive
oh my gosh.
Gosh, you know.
Wow.
Well, you know, in the loveliest ways, because you have such a good attitude about it, it doesn't even seem to phase you.
You always pop back up.
You're like a daisy, you know, in the springtime, right?
Like after winter, it's covered in snow.
Springtime, boom, it's back up. I don't
know if you remember, but I think it was maybe in Minnesota, one of the cities we were in.
Right after your show, you were supposed to get on a flight. So you had to literally get off stage
and go straight to the car to go to the airport. And we were like, oh, that's such a cool hero
shot. Maybe it'll be cool behind the scenes footage.
If you ever wanted to do videos of your tour.
Oh my God, I remember this.
It was Seattle.
It was Seattle, okay.
I just remember it as you're saying it.
So we had this epic plan where right after you get off stage,
goodbye, good night.
We called it the Von Trapp family exit.
That's right, that's what it was.
Because it's like in the sound of music
when they sprint out to escape the Nazis after they sing.
It's kind of like that.
Yeah.
We were going to von Trapp it.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
And so Ryan was like, okay, I'm ready.
So you were supposed to get off stage, get your suitcase really quick, and then just run straight to the car, right?
Right.
Right, right.
I'm von Trapping it to a T.
You almost make it to the exit.
Yeah.
You almost make it to the exit, and then boom, tumble, tumble.
You eat shit, and your suitcase goes flying.
But then you get back up, and you still make the exit.
And so I think you talk about this a little bit throughout all your jokes.
You sort of make fun of yourself.
You're like, I know what kind of body
i have i know my level of athleticism and you know even in your physical comedy yeah yeah yeah you
truly are like a clown yeah also that actually made me think you have like nine lives there is
a little nine lives going on yeah which makes me think you know i was hit by a drunk driver and my
girlfriend's boyfriend i I talk about it.
Yeah.
I jumped through a second story window sleepwalking, I talk about sleepwalking.
Yeah, you're into cats.
Diabetes.
They have nine lives.
I'm into cats.
I have two cats, Mr. Mustache and Precious.
Yes, shout out, you know.
RIP, Mazzy, we lost in January, so sad.
Yeah, but it wasn't due to a fall.
Nope.
Because cats always get back up and that's you.
But let's go to you.
So I feel like
when I think of all of my friends,
I think that
when,
you know how you have friends
where you go like,
oh, if that person just tells stories
off the cuff,
they just have the best stories.
You have some of the most fascinating stories.
You moved here from Japan when you were 10, 11?
10.
Yeah.
You lived in your uncle's garage with your mom and your grandma.
And, I mean, your parents met on a game show.
Your parents met on a game show.
The amount of things that are big ticket macro items.
You have 10 shows in you.
I'm glad you said that because watching you,
I was like, there are some tiny things that could come back as people get to know me more.
It's like I can still refer to something that they'd heard before because that's just a part of my life.
Meaning, talking about the garage,
but this time a story that you hadn't heard from that time.
Here would be the other thing I would say.
You can be like, Mike, take this out.
This is ridiculous.
When you and I first went on tour, you and me, right?
You were like, do you drink?
And I go, yeah, sometimes, but not that much.
I'm not great at drinking.
My body can't handle it that well.
I was like, do you drink?
And you're like, Ryan and I have a drink before bed every night.
Yes, we do.
Yeah.
I was just like, that's fascinating.
Yeah, I drink every night.
Yeah.
What do you think it is?
Oh, gosh, yeah.
What does it do for you?
It's also probably the cigarette thing, too.
I'm very treat-based.
I'm like a dog.
I'm very treat based
I am yeah
I look forward to a thing at the end of the day
I'll finish all my work
I have this with food
so that's my treat
and everything I do is still childlike
mentalities
even if presented it feels like it's an adult thing
drinking that's an adult thing
smoking cigarettes that's an adult thing drinking that's an adult thing smoking cigarettes
that's an adult thing
but the way
I look forward to it
and I go
I'm going to finish this work
if I write
jokes for an hour
I get to have a cigarette
like that's kind of my
oh I love that
I'm like a dog
yeah
do you feel like
you'd talk about that
yeah drinking
yeah
for sure
and how my dad actually
used to drink a lot.
He drinks still.
I think he stopped kind of drinking because he had a stroke during the pandemic.
Yeah.
And he's drinking these like, he's such a cheap person.
This kind of stuff I probably will talk about.
Yeah.
I haven't talked about my dad yet.
Right.
You know.
You talk a lot about your mom and your grandma.
To the point, people are shocked when they find out I have a dad
that I'm very
and I was like oh no
that's kind of funny
and it happened because recently
I was asked to do a comedy show
where the theme was comedians
all the comedians on the lineup
are folks who have been estranged from their fathers
or don't talk to them
I was asked to be on that show.
That's so funny.
And I had to have an awkward conversation with the booker where I was like, oh, actually,
I'm really good with my dad.
In fact, I feel like I'm closer to him than I am with my grandma.
And most people don't know that because I never talk about him.
That's so fascinating.
You know?
Yeah.
So what does your dad think about your comedy?
My dad, the language barrier is more intense with him.
He knows way less English than my grandma.
So he doesn't really quite know what I'm even talking about.
What does he speak?
He speaks Japanese.
And you speak Japanese with him?
Yeah, but my level is at third grade.
So I have a hard time explaining nuances of jokes and stuff.
You know, sometimes I can't even set it up for him
because I don't know enough vocab to do that.
And so he knows what comedy is and comedians and performing.
So, you know, he's that i i found the thing i love
so this is interesting to me though like you you know you speak japanese at like a third grade
level and he's uh he speaks japanese fluently but yet you feel like you're as close to him or
more closer to him than anyone in your family. Yeah. So what is the bond?
What's the thing that is the psychic relationship?
Yeah, I think maybe because we have that urgency
because he was the one I was separated from
when we left Japan
and I couldn't see him for like seven years.
Oh my gosh.
So this is, by the way, circle take on this.
Yeah.
So you didn't see him for seven years.
That's a huge story.
Yeah, right.
Breaking news.
Seven years.
You didn't even include that in your first special on HBO.
Because again, I didn't talk about him.
Yeah.
That's huge.
I mean, that's a massive.
So maybe I'll come back to it.
Yeah.
That's a massive just beginning to a story.
That's true.
Not having seen my dad for seven years.
It was like age age 10 through 17?
Yeah.
So formative.
Yeah, and so it was a bummer for me
and a bummer for him especially
because he missed out on so much.
Oh my gosh.
To the point when we met each other,
when we finally saw each other,
he had booked a whole day at a water park for us.
And I was like 17, I was a teenager. I was like, water park, you know and i was like 17 i was a teenager i was like
water park you know what i mean right that's not cool he's like i haven't seen you since you were
10 and so he wants in his head he wants to do stuff like kid stuff he wish he did with yeah
oh my god i can't take it this is gold yeah i think maybe I need to talk about,
every comedian has to talk about their dad at some point, right?
Are you kidding me? Of course.
Yeah, and it can start with, you know,
getting asked to do a comedy show where everyone's been estranged from their father
and I had to be like, oh, I'm sorry, I can't do this show.
My dad and I are good.
And they were like, oh my God, I'm so sorry, Asko.
I just thought maybe like you had a falling out
or he left your family or something.
People make up stories about my dad.
They fill it in.
They fill it in.
That's really interesting.
By the way, that's really interesting too.
Right, yeah.
With the idea of that.
Like your anecdotes about people filling in the story.
I mean, that's just an interesting sort of just like a test case
for like the way that people impose memory on you.
For sure. Yeah. And in ways I did it too. There were times where I convinced myself
he was the one that left the family, you know? Oh my gosh.
Right? Instead of-
Meanwhile, grandma took you here.
Yeah, exactly. It's called Stockholm syndrome, right? Where you go, oh no, my captor is right.
Right.
Yeah.
Right. Meanwhile, your grandma brought you here when you were 10.
This is like an encapsulation.
But told you you were going on vacation, but actually she was moving you here.
Right.
Because she, in a general sense, didn't think that your parents were maybe the fittest to raise you at that point?
To raise me, and she thought, you know, if we moved to America, things would be better for my mom, who's having trouble assimilating in Japan.
Yeah.
And her mental illness was getting intense in Japan.
So she just was like, let's just switch it up.
Right.
And I think it'll just, maybe there'll be more opportunities, like they say.
So, yeah, so just sort of moved us that way.
You know, I always ask her, every time I bring it up, you know,
I hope to get something new.
Like, was there anything else?
Yeah.
Because it seems so intense to uproot your whole life just because of those reasons.
But she's like, I just really thought we could switch it up, you know?
And then, and I don't know if my dad knew that we were,
I think she lied to my dad too.
Wow.
And so it was a lot of heartbreak there.
Oh my gosh.
So, so yeah, I think I should address that.
Like I have a father.
Yeah. Huge. Breaking news.
And in the water park.
Yeah, that's a great story.
That was a disaster too because I don't know how to swim.
Right, so that's not great.
And he didn't go on any of the rides with me.
Again, because he wanted the father-daughter kid relationship he never had.
He was like, you're just going on the rides.
I'll just be here taking pictures.
And I would wave at him.
You know, that kind of...
Right.
Yeah, where I was like, okay, I'm 17,
and I'm on these rides not knowing how to swim.
Right.
Just screaming, getting hurt.
Oh my gosh.
Meanwhile, you don't even know really your dad.
Or you haven't seen him in seven years.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah.
Were you, I'm curious about this because I always think about my daughter seven and a half.
Like, what does she remember?
What does she not remember?
Yeah.
Like, do you remember much of your dad when you were little?
I do.
So the drinking and smoking, right?
Yeah.
He would drink every night and he smoked inside the house.
Yeah.
But he was always really kind.
He's very submissive.
Yeah.
He just was a workaholic.
And so I knew that's what he needed to do at night.
It was his treat.
What did he do?
He would smoke and drink and then watch TV.
What did he do for a job?
Oh, he's an engineer.
So he'd been an engineer all day, but then in his mind he had a treat that he was going to smoke and drink and watch TV.
Yeah, with his kids.
I lived with my half-sister and half-brother at the time.
My father was married before my mom.
Before your mother, okay.
That wife left my father for another man.
Okay.
And in their divorce, he was able to get custody of at least two of the
kids. I have a sibling I've never met that went to go live with. Yeah. And so I had like a half
sibling who's a child. Okay. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And so there's lots of pieces of that side
of the family. It feels more, we were pretty modern for a Japanese family, I feel like.
In Japan, it's very frowned upon to even be divorced.
You know, the family unit is very important.
Even now, do you think?
I mean, you've long since moved from there.
I think now it's better.
Now it's better.
But it was just, my dad always felt shame.
Because he was like, gosh, I couldn't get my first marriage right.
And then the second one, I met a woman through a game show.
That didn't work out.
Then they left me, you know, took my daughter.
You know, so he feels a lot of shame.
So I think that also fed into a lot of the drinking and smoking.
And I used to sort of judge him for it as a kid.
I'd be like, dad, it's not good for you. And here I am smoking and drinking and smoking. And I used to sort of judge him for it as a kid. I'd be like, dad, it's not good for you.
And here I am smoking and drinking every night.
Can't beat him, join him.
Yeah, exactly.
And now he's quit.
My dad's quit smoking.
Well, he had a stroke and yeah.
Right, yeah.
So I'm like, what is it going to take for me?
He hung up the gloves.
Am I my father?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's interesting. Maybe that's the title. Am I my father? Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting.
Maybe that's the title.
Am I my father?
Yeah.
Or I have a father.
I think it's more as being so extraordinary.
And I think people think about this of me sometimes.
They'll go like, you sleepwalk through a second story window.
That's bizarre.
You had cancer and you're 20.
That's bizarre. Like, you have you're 20. That's bizarre.
Like, you have type 2 diabetes.
It's bizarre.
Like, I have a series of things where I feel,
people feel when they watch my stuff, like,
well, that's an extraordinary set of circumstances.
But, of course, I'm just living it.
Do you ever have that where you zoom outside
yourself and your own life and go, wow, I've had a real doozy of a life?
Yeah, I think I have a hard time doing that.
Of course. I think we all do, right?
I'm such a, I'm also a workaholic like my dad.
Yeah.
Where I go.
You're the engineer of comedy.
Maybe that's what it is. And I don't even really know what engineers do.
Nobody does.
I don't know.
Don't talk about it.
We don't want to let the cat out of the bag.
Even engineers don't know what engineers do.
They just kind of go to work with a suitcase
and then come back.
And there's a wrench.
A wrench?
There's a wrench.
Wait, is that... is that construction people?
Don't ask too many questions.
What's the wrench for?
No, I'm just kidding. I don't know.
I feel like he always just had a pencil and paper.
And I was like, do you just draw buildings?
Yeah, they draw buildings.
I was like, I do that.
They draw buildings, pencil sketches of buildings.
I was like, I do that.
You're an engineer.
I'm an engineer of comedy.
Okay.
So let's zoom out about your life.
Do you think the reason you became a comedian
is because you felt outside of other people's experiences?
I felt outside of other people's experiences.
I just wanted to connect with people
but was that from a deficit
or from that's just what was interesting to you
for sure deficit
I wanted to connect, I wanted to fit in
I wanted to make people laugh
maybe you'll be my friend
maybe you feel sad, if you feel better, I'll feel better. Yeah. Whatever
that is called. A deficit, lots of deficits. Is it like class? Was it class clown manifestation?
Not class clown. I was, I remember you were a cheerleader. Right. So I was like always like
a mood lifter slash performer somehow, but not class clown because I don't know if I was like witty enough.
I don't know if it was maybe the language.
I was still a little shy.
I wasn't sure if people would be down with like me shouting jokes in a class.
I'm not like that kind of person.
Same.
I have the same thing.
When did it start to manifest itself as humor in a way that you were like, oh, okay, I could run with this?
Yeah.
Well, there were times sprinkled throughout early on, but then, yeah, it wasn't until
I was making my second boyfriend laugh a lot and he was like, you should do stand-up.
You're like a stand-up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was like, what, me?
And yeah, and that's the first time I'd heard that.
It's so funny.
That's a very bold statement to make
because this is probably 2010 or so, 2008 even.
It's not like stand-up.
Now, 2022, you wouldn't expect someone to be like,
you're funny, you should be a stand-up comedian.
In the 2000 aughts, it's not really a logical conclusion
that one, because they're funny, should be a stand-up comedian.
No, no.
I think I realized he ultimately was trying to get rid of me.
Because I was then driving down to go to open mics,
and I was always gone. And then, yeah, we eventually broke up. But I was then driving down to go to open mics and I was always gone.
And then, yeah, we eventually broke up.
But I was like...
We all have to break up in our own way.
He's like, you're really funny.
You should pursue this.
Oh, my gosh.
Over there.
Yeah, time consuming.
Of course, every night I'm out.
That is a riot.
So that's where it started started but yes at the time
it was not a thing you just tell someone
that you love
be a stand up how
he was like you need a hobby outside of my
apartment
I was like okay 2009
not even a really safe time
I feel like to be going to open mics
and alleyways as like a girl
you know so yeah it was
not a good time to be telling people hey go do this if you loved them and cared about them yes
today yeah there's a lot of avenues so it's interesting like you so you have an HBO special
out the last two years I would say of your career have been meteoric in the sense that like, when we met, you know, you had a comedy album and you
had a podcast and you had, you know, a lot of Instagram followers and you had like a following.
But in the last two years, you went from having a following to be like,
you're selling out the bell house in Brooklyn every time you come to town,
you're selling out all over the country and you have an HBO special,
arguably the most prestigious place to have a comedy special.
It's like, does that feel satisfying?
Right, yeah.
And it does.
And I have to remind myself to do that.
Like I was saying, I'm kind of a workaholic.
So when you say, do you ever zoom out at your life
and go, oh, what a doozy of a life?
The only reason I forget to do that or don't want to do that because I go, no, there's more experiences I could be living so that I could tell more stories.
Oh, interesting.
I do that to myself sometimes.
And I have to stop and go, oh, sure, HBO special.
But the next hour, the next hour, I got to start thinking about my next hour.
I'm already doing that
and so yeah I'm
slowly learning to
zoom out once in a while
yeah zoom out go
what do you think
this is a staff of the show had some
questions what do you think this is Mabel
what do you think is true about our
friendship that people might be surprised by
I like that we both come alive on camera.
Yeah, that's true.
That's a funny, that is a funny thing.
Yeah, we pump each other up.
That's hilarious.
Yeah, like when we're in Denver,
we're like, let's do a video to promote the next show
in Atlanta or whatever it is.
And we're like, there's a switch that gets turned on.
Yeah, yeah.
There's like Instagram videos, they're like ridiculous.
And also our dancing one is ridiculous.
I think we did it backstage
in Milwaukee at the Pabst Theater.
It's absurd.
I played Grandma.
You have these great videos,
a sequence with Grandma and I play Grandma.
We need to do one again soon.
I think we'll do one today.
Instagram hasn't seen you dance in a while.
No, they clearly need me to dance
this is a question we've asked in the slow round in the past
what do people like about you
what do people don't like about you
I think people like that I'm pretty easy going
but I think also
kind of a yes and
I'm kind of a feel good but maybe'm kind of like a feel good.
But maybe that's also what people
might not like about me too.
Is that maybe it's like,
make a decision already.
Oh, interesting.
What do you not make a decision about?
I can tend to get too excited.
Maybe I say yes to a lot of things.
Right, over yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that can be annoying for sure.
Right, then you're over committed. I have that too. You, over yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that can be annoying for sure. Right, then you're overcommitted.
I have that too.
You're overcommitted.
Yeah, yeah.
And you have to apologize.
I can't actually do this thing.
Right, I thought I could.
But I'm here.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
This is from my brother Joe.
Can you recall a day that you'd consider the best day of your life?
The best day of my life?
Oh, I'm so careful to say that. I never say things like the best day of your life? The best day of my life? Oh, I'm so careful to say that.
I never say things like the best day of my life or soulmate.
You know, it's too big of a commitment.
No, I respect that.
And it's not true.
Those things aren't ever going to be true.
And Joe's probably asking it so that you say
it was the day I met Joe Verviglia.
Can we take that question again?
It was...
The edit starts here.
Yeah. It was
September 2022.
Yes, yes, yes.
2021.
Of course, yes.
I remember like it was yesterday.
I don't know when I met Joe, actually.
But that was a good, that I've been working on.
I want you to be honest with me.
Does zucchini loaf have any zucchini in it at all?
Like at all?
Like all I'm tasting is cake and maybe like cinnamon.
Like I feel like the zucchini estate has sold off the rights to the zucchini in very corrupt ways.
I love that when it comes to food, you are a conspiracy theorist.
Oh, yeah.
You know, because you talk about fake cheese and cheese powder.
There's a spokesperson.
Macaroni and cheese.
Yeah.
A box of
macaroni and cheese with a powder
intended to represent cheese.
It's like a press conference for cheese.
Cheese couldn't be here this afternoon.
I'm here on behalf of cheese. I'd like to thank
Butter.
The zucchini joke, it's funny because I'm
performing all day in the pool right now. So it's like these
jokes I'm writing in my notebook,
I'm just jotting down stuff that it's not
going to see the light of day for like a year
or maybe 18
months. But in the podcast
it's fun to just sort of kick it around.
And then I wrote down,
when you get into a hot tub at a hotel,
it feels like you hit the lottery.
You're like, I'm royalty.
I'm the richest person in the world.
And other people get in, and you're like, who are these losers?
Shouldn't they bow or something?
Don't they know who I am?
You're like the Christopher Columbus of the hot tub,
and then some people come back from the bathroom,
and they're like, I was sitting there.
And you're like like I have claimed it
for Spain
that's great
I was in Nashville recently
on tour
and I was again this is
no jokes yet but it's just
an interesting story
and I got a massage
because of my shoulder
and the guy goes an interesting story. And I got a massage because of my shoulder. My shoulder's like an issue
I have to work on. And the guy goes,
you know, I just started doing
this job. And I go, oh, that's cool.
Didn't really engage the conversation,
but then the conversation
just came at me.
You know,
sometimes how a conversation comes at you,
like a 95 mile an hour fastball,
and you're like, whoa, and the ump is like, strike.
I'm like, I'm pretty sure that was a ball.
So then he goes, I had to change my whole life.
I'm thinking, oh boy, here we go.
And I'm thinking, how do I end this conversation
in a way that doesn't seem like I'm trying to end this conversation?
And I go, what happened that changed your life?
I took the bait.
And that was the point where he goes,
I walked in on my wife in a Taco Bell parking lot
with her head in the lap of some other guy.
Now I'm interested.
Oh my God.
Now I'm completely not getting a massage.
Now I'm watching a series on Showtime.
I go, how did you know she was in a Taco Bell parking lot?
And he goes, Life 360.
Which if you don't know what that is,
I just found out what it is recently.
It's an app that tracks your family like the government.
Because sometimes life comes at you fast.
360.
So I said to him, what did you do before this job?
And he goes, I was a construction worker.
And he goes, I was a construction worker. And he goes, but you know, we might get back together to spend our golden years together.
And I didn't say this, but I thought it's just going to happen again, except this time it'll be at a Cracker Barrel.
I was trying to think.
Oh my God, where are their senior discounts?
Exactly, exactly.
Thank you for getting that. I was trying to come up with like God, where's their senior discount? Exactly, exactly. Thank you for getting that.
I was trying to come up with like,
what's the senior discount place?
I thought Cracker Barrel fits the bill.
Yes, totally.
Taco Bell is for the younger folk.
When you have more energy,
when you have more energy.
More energy, yeah.
Cracker Barrel is where they'll both sort of like
look out the window and be like,
remember when?
Yes.
Yeah, like 360, you know.
So those are some things I jotted in the notebook.
So he said, I just changed my life recently.
Yeah, changed my life.
I mean, the summation of it is I changed my life.
I worked construction.
One day I walked in on my wife with this guy in a parking lot.
Yeah.
And I was like, I'm going to change my whole life.
I'm going to do something I want to do more.
I love that you were in after Taco Bell.
I mean, of course.
The Taco Bell story, I think it's phenomenal.
The only way to stop a person from after they say something like,
hey, I just changed my life lately is to stop them.
You go, oh, I did too.
It's the only way. That's's so funny it's the only way i did too
yeah and then so it's like this like tension of like well who's gonna go who's how but then you
gotta back it up you gotta be ready with your taco bell parking lot story that is basically 100% fiction. Or he won't ask.
Or he won't ask.
That's good, though.
He'd be like, oh, shit.
I didn't know we were both changed people.
I didn't know we both had stories.
Do you like engaging with strangers like that?
It depends.
Sometimes, whatever happened to falling asleep
during a massage?
Do you do that?
Whatever happened to that?
You don't do that.
Like in the old days in the 50s? You're just really approachable.
I just kind of, uh-huh, you know.
I know what you're saying.
Yeah, it depends. I've fallen asleep on someone talking to me on the plane before.
Yes, I think that's fair game.
Yeah, and so it depends. But yeah, you really can navigate. If it's like someone's got a story to tell you,
be like, I got a story to tell too.
And they're like, whoa, I don't want to hear a story.
I'm trying to tell one.
And you're like, me too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you have any half premises or half jokes
or anything that's sort of like you want to bring to the table
to kick around?
Recently, I've been sort been playing with the idea of
how do you make friends as an adult?
Yes, I love that. I've heard you talk about that.
I think it's great.
Yeah, and I sort of go off on it.
I'm just like, hello, what's your favorite color?
Right, like we did as kids.
Right, right, right.
We did as kids because most friends
come with their set of friends already.
So I try to enter their space and they're like, oh no, it's okay. I already have five, you know?
Yes. And, and then I, and then, yeah.
I love that. I talked to Quinta Brunson on this podcast about that exact thing.
Yeah. About the idea of like, also like, what is your obligation to your grown-up friends?
Uh-huh.
I know.
Yeah.
Because when you're a kid, it's so cut and dry.
It's so, like, you go to school, you sit at the same lunch table.
After school, you maybe do the same activity.
Yeah.
As a grown-up, it's like, text them once every month.
I don't know.
Yeah.
You okay?
It's almost like, I think the conclusion I came to is, like, ever since we were know. Yeah. You okay? It's almost like, I think the conclusion I came to is like,
ever since we were kids,
it was always going to be easiest to be friends with people you work with.
Yeah.
Kids, because our classmates, weren't they just like our coworkers?
Yes, they were.
That's why it was easy.
We did the same stuff.
What are you doing?
The same math problem I am.
Oh, what are you up to? Same schedule. We had the same stuff. What are you doing? The same math problem I am. Oh, what are you up to?
Same schedule.
We had the same schedule.
We had to be at the same location.
I think that's its own punchline.
Like, when you're a kid, your classmates are your coworkers.
And I think you should live in that a little bit.
Yeah, yeah.
That feels great.
Yeah, and that's why it's like we were always,
people make friends through their work now as adults too.
In fact, I think the main way people make friends as an adult is through work.
So when you're more of like a free spirit, like a comedian, it's harder because it's not like we're at a desk every day.
No, I know.
Yeah.
And I'm also like, what if I want to become friends with like a doctor or a lawyer?
Right.
You know, all my friends are comedians, which is great, but I want health care, you know?
Right, Chelsea Handler's not going to give you health care.
No, no, maybe like, you know, some mushroom gummies.
But like, my real pain, you know, and doctors hang out with other doctors,
which what?
Right.
Share it.
Yes.
Share it a little bit.
This is a good run.
Yeah.
I think it's a really funny fertile area.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And talking about your common enemies make real bonds.
That's why work was,
work is a great place to make friends.
You know, people make friends real fast on The Walking Dead, you know. Oh, yeah. They make friends so much. In crisis. In crisis.
They make friends so much. No two people who are having good ass days ever become friends. Not,
not real close, you know. That is so funny. Just two people who feel really good about themselves,
like on a hike. That's real surface conversation. Just like, oh, it's sunny again, you know.
No, when there's something scary you're running from, like in The Walking Dead, that's when you make a real bond, you know.
And so much so that the villain on these shows always makes it a point to say, I'm not here to make friends.
Yeah, yeah.
And I think there's something to that.
Yes.
You know, we're all still kids.
It still goes back to like adults, we still operate like kids.
Where we find, when someone says, I'm not here to make friends,
it's like, oh my God, that person doesn't value friendship.
Oh, yeah.
You know?
And I think, yeah, there's something to it.
But yeah, that's what I'm sort of building on right now.
But we became friends.
Yes, we did. You did the nicest thing. You did like a friend appreciation post. You're like, I don't make a on right now. But we became friends. Yes, we did.
You did the nicest thing.
You did a friend appreciation post.
You're like, I don't make a lot of friends as a grown-up.
Right.
Mike and I became friends on this tour, and it was really sweet.
Yeah.
It meant so much to me.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah.
I always feel that a friend deficit.
I always feel like I'm not doing enough for my friends.
My friends aren't in touch with me.
It's always a thing where I don't know how to navigate it.
They need to make more reality shows, more shows about making friends.
There's all these shows about finding love.
I don't care about that.
Right.
I already got that.
Love is blind.
I got to love.
Bachelor.
How about a show where people learn how to make friends?
Yes.
That's good.
You know?
And yeah.
And I even tell the audience...
And you can call it, I'm here to make friends.
Yeah.
That should be the title of this episode.
I'm here to make friends.
I'm here to make friends.
Yes, yes.
Gary?
We got it.
We got it.
I think we got it.
That's a wrap.
Don't fall.
so working it out for a cause we give to an organization
that you think is doing a good job
non-profit
is there a non-profit you like?
I always like the downtown women's shelter
in Los Angeles
so if I can give there again
we've given to them
before we're going to give to them again
it's um
I'm going to get the URL right.
So that's at downtownwomencenter.org.
It's downtownwomencenter.org.
If you're on their site,
it says Every Woman Hows.
The Downtown Women's Center
is the only organization in Los Angeles
focused exclusively on serving
and empowering women
experiencing homelessness
and formerly homeless women.
I'm going to give it to them.
I'm going to link to them in the show notes.
I hope people, I wonder if there's someone out there
who's been giving to all 90 of the nonprofits
that we've been giving to.
Does that person exist?
Reach out to us.
Email us.
Working it out, pot of gmail.com.
Odds are good.
Thanks for being here.
I can't wait for all these people
to watch this special.
This special is so good.
Thank you.
You did it.
You rocked it.
Thank you.
Working it out
because it's not done.
Working it out
because there's no one.
That's going to do it
for this episode
of Working It Out.
That's Atsuko Akatsuka.
Her special is called
The Intruder. It's on HBO Max this Friday of Working It Out. That's Atsuko Akatsuka. Her special is called The Intruder.
It's on HBO Max this
Friday, December 10th.
You can follow Atsuko on Instagram.
That's Atsuko Comedy.
That's A-T-S-U-K-O
Comedy. I couldn't recommend it more highly.
She invented the drop challenge.
If you've seen people doing
sort of in the middle of
doing something regular like dancing like
doing dancing to this Beyonce song which is uh so funny the drop challenge is so funny it's
something that Atsuko came up with and went super duper viral I think even like outside of herself
like I think people don't even tag her in it anymore. Like it's become this major worldwide international phenomenon.
And I did one with her.
She and I did one.
Maybe I'll repost it this week
because when we were, I want to say backstage in Milwaukee,
we did one where I danced and I really, really could not.
I couldn't get there.
I couldn't drop.
I tried to drop.
Couldn't drop. Our producers to drop. Couldn't drop.
Our producers of Working
It Out are myself, along with Joseph Birbigli
and Peter Salamone, associate producer Mabel Lewis,
consulting producer Seth Barish,
assistant producers Gary Simons and
Lucy Jones, sound mix by
Ben Cruz, supervising engineer Kate
Balinski. Special thanks to Marissa Hurwitz
and Josh Upfall, my consiglieres,
Mike Berkowitz. Special thanks to Jack Antonoff and Bleachers for their music.
They are rocking.
The song in the show, if you came to the Broadway show,
is a project of Jack's called Redhurst.
That's the song that plays at the beginning.
It's an amazing, amazing album.
It's a one-off album that he made with Sam Dew and Soundwave.
The three of them call themselves Red Hearth.
Holy cow, check that out.
Special thanks to J-Hope Stein.
Her book, Little Astronaut, is in bookstores now.
I actually just saw it at Barnes & Noble the other day.
I saw it at Bookster Magic the other day in Brooklyn.
Special thanks, as always, to my daughter, Una,
who created the original radio fort made of pillows.
Thanks most of all to you who are listening.
Thanks for all the great feedback and comments on the podcast over at Apple Podcasts.
If you give us a star rating over there, leave some comments, we really appreciate it.
You can tell your friends also.
You can tell your enemies even.
I know the holiday season's upon us, so maybe in the spirit of giving,
give your enemy the greatest gift one can give. Recommending a podcast where a comedian talks to
other creatives about process and jokes and stories. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
Thanks, everybody. We're working it out. We'll see you next time.