Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 101: This Episode is the Pits
Episode Date: June 21, 2015As a society we have made tremendous strides in personal hygiene. So what is the MindPump Crew's reaction to those who want to reverse these positive hygiene trends in the name of empowerment? Find ou...t this and more in this episode.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
My pump, my pump, it is my pump, my pump, my pump, my pump, we got programs
Yeah! Available! Yeah! And an awesome discount!
Yeah! It's for sex people! Yeah! They want to get laid!
Yeah! You can do it! Yeah! Just right now, how?
Yeah! Click the button! Oh yeah! Go to www.minmindpumpradio.com click the yellow button get it now
If you want to pump your body and expand your mind
There's only one place to go
Might, uh, might, up with your hosts
Salda Stefano Adam Schaefer and Justin Andrews
I got into it with my girl uh yesterday because's not getting any sex right now and stuff.
And I'm just like, I'm fucking tired, bro.
Like I'm more than anything else.
And it turned into this whole thing.
And I'm like, babe, and she knows,
we talk about this every time.
I said the same problem.
As soon as I get close to stage time, as I get close to, you know, stage time,
the last two weeks, like I literally lose my sex drive
because I am freaking so depleted, I'm so tired.
I don't, I see.
When you go,
there's a lot of things you guys say that I get.
I don't get, like I've been with my wife
since we were 16, okay?
Yeah, you crazy.
I can count on two fingers, the times that I've denied sex.
And both times it was because I had horrible diarrhea.
There's really no other reason why I would say no to sex.
I had sex with a hundred people.
Yeah, yeah.
105, I think.
I have all the same stories too.
I just, whenever it comes close to the last two.
Don't tie him back, pedal, bro.
No, bro.
I'm just, I'm telling a story and you're,
I know how you are already.
You've already discussed that you are definitely
that definitely do not turn out.
But when I get to those last two weeks,
I just shut down.
I mean, I don't even jerk off.
That's why I told her.
I said, listen, it's not like I'm fucking myself
fucking at two o'clock in the afternoon.
You don't even, you don't get it, I'm saying like,
it's not even released to cracking a little bit.
Huh?
No.
Don't release the cracking.
You know why?
That's why you're so stressed out, bro.
I'm looking at your face and I'm like, he's fucking stressed.
It's because you need to gizz.
No, I look like I'm high.
No, you do look like you're high.
Yeah, but you look like you're stressed, too.
That's because I was.
You guys only hear something fucked up, so check this out, right?
So I'm on this.
Every time.
So I'm on this group text with a bunch of doctors and surgeons.
Some of these guys are my clients and they're all
fucking great guys, right?
And one thing I've learned about training doctors
is they have the most horrible, inappropriate senses
of humor.
I mean, I swear to God, dude, if you think they all
have God complexes.
I think, no, I don't even think it's that.
I think it's because they see so much crazy shit
that nothing is taboo, you know.
It's all desensitized.
Dude, if you hear some of the shit we talk about,
I mean, you try and put us in jail.
Anyway, so I'm on this group text
because we all go on a trip once a year
and they invited me about two years ago,
we have a good time, so now I go over year.
And one of the guys on there, right?
And we always send crazy pictures.
So he sends a picture of this naked chick,
like spread eagle, and it's just like one of the most
horrible up close pictures of all time.
And he just sends it randomly, because that's just what we do.
Like here you go.
Right.
So I don't think about, I don't think anything of it or whatever.
And anyway, a week passes by and I train one of their wives.
Okay.
Oh my God.
So this, so this lady comes in and she is like the sweetest, nicest, most innocent.
Oh God, I feel like I know where this is going.
She's the most, like one of those women that's like,
like just the perfect wife and mother,
just a nice woman, very sweet.
So she comes in, I have all the respect
in the world, I love her, she's a great woman.
And she's like, I just have to say this
before we get started, please don't send
pornographic pictures to my husband, okay?
Oh, he put it on you.
Right, oh, he put it on you.
Right, so are you pussy.
But I don't know how long this is going.
Listen, listen, listen.
Listen, so she goes, you know, the phone was on the counter
and it buzzed and I was with my sister.
So this really like totally like.
That's hilarious.
Innocent lady with her innocent sister, whatever,
I'm afraid.
They look at this phone and they look at the spread eagle
disgusting, horrible picture.
And I had texted a comment afterwards.
So I think she thought it was me.
But here's the fucked up part, which you said that to me.
I didn't even, I just assumed it was me.
Like I didn't even deny it.
I was like, oh, I'm so sorry.
You're thinking of yourself,
I could have been one you did.
Could have been the one you did,
fucking three weeks from that.
Well, I thought for sure it was me,
so I felt so embarrassed.
Then I had to train her for the whole hour, right?
Well, I'm just so embarrassed and I apologize.
I went, oh, so then she leaves.
And I go through the text, right?
And I'm like, motherfucker, it wasn't even me
that sent the picture.
I totally took the heat for one of those guys.
Oh, man.
That's all right.
You're a martyr.
How many guys are in that one?
Oh, I think there's like six or seven of us every single person is a
Doctor there are anesthesiologists
psychiatrist and
then
One guy I think is an entrepreneur like me
So it's you know, but it's these guys are you guys would love that one of the guys one of the guys who's wife come that came in
He is an anesthesiologist and because he gets bored
This is how smart the guy is. This is how freaking crazy is he gets bored being an anesthesiologist a super high-pressure job
So what he's doing the weekend?
He's a he goes and and goes off with the frickin Navy seals and does missions in shit and he's the doctor on board
So this dude goes out and saves people in shit and that's what he does because for fun
No way yes No way. Yes. Wow. Yes. He is a he is a fucking badass and he won some award and he was on the news for. Bring him on, dude. Yeah. I don't know if you want. He's not
the kind of person I want to talk about. And I'm probably he's probably be pissed that
I've even said this on. Yeah. How many how many group texts are you? How many group
texts are you guys on? I'm on the one with you guys,
which by the way we named the Mind Pump something.
How do we do that?
Mind Pump team.
I don't know if I've done that.
I did it.
I think that was a new feature that I own.
I'm trying to figure it out.
Yeah, I don't know.
Anyway, I'm with you guys,
and then I'm on a group text with my cousins,
and a couple of buddies,
and then I'm on the group text with the docs.
And with my cousins, I've gotten a massive trouble too
because my wife once found a text on there
that was totally out of context.
And she, you know, you know, I mean, imagine
if your girl finds the group text
and just picks a random text
and doesn't understand the context
or how you joke around, it looks really bad.
Like, there's ten weeks going.
Yeah, my girl doesn't even watch.
She's like, I don't even wanna look in there. She's like, I don't even want to look at there Oh, I don't even want to see this stupid shit you guys know
I know you guys talk. I know you guys are I don't even want to see it and you guys know my sense of humor after like two days after I met you
I'll send you guys
That was nothing new I see get pictures of like some naked girl and it was like a video from one of my friends
And he's not even like he just randomly would send me these things and pass them along and it would be like,
they would like, no, no, no, no, no.
No, it was just like, it'd go from titties
and then like move down, down, down, down,
and it's a dick spinning.
I hate that.
Dude, you're the most confused bone
or a ball for you.
You know, didn't Adam, didn't you just send something
like that, you fucker?
What?
You sent that text.
Oh yeah.
It was like, oh, there's gonna be blackouts.
Hey, Salad, listen in.
In the room.
It's just like, I can't enjoy.
I click on it.
It's just fucking dude.
That's helicopter.
So that's from one of my group texts that I'm in.
That's one of my, those are my buddies.
My best friends and stuff that I just went to Vegas.
That's their thing.
Why the hell do we do that to each other?
Yeah, it is.
You know, it's, you know what before group photo.
Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before group photo. Before to each other. You know it before who texts you used to use to fart in
the car and roll the windows up and
lock your windows in. That was what
you did. Now it's like the
fart box. It's evolved the text
messages to where we can send
somebody's dignling and make you
think it's something else so you
open it and all you get is this
big dignling interface. You know
it's funny though it's like so we're
doing those porn ads right and it
Doug sent that like image he got from
this rock image you know that was like basically like the
of Regina in a butthole.
And it's like, you know, let us fill your holes and it's you know,
and like I got that text and I was sitting right next to my wife watching TV.
She saw it and I'm like, what the? And then like, she have fake, like she's punching me
and then like we, and then it was like just,
we were laughing about it.
You guys realize we cannot stop.
Like it's gonna get so much worse.
And there's nothing we could do to stop it.
It's gonna get so bad.
Like we're five or six months into it
and we're doing ads like that.
I was dying laughing, but I was like,
so laughing, she was not laughing for a while dying laughing, but I was like so laughing.
She was not laughing for a while.
You know, I was like, uh oh.
But then she started laughing later.
I was like, oh, I'm just hoping this is not one
of the episodes of my life.
Because she does, I don't think she knows about that.
So Katrina is like,
Katrina is my first listener, dude.
She's on every episode.
Yeah, but we thought of this pretty thoroughly.
I mean, we have, we have direction for these people to go.
It's not like we're bringing them to our regular website.
Here's the deal.
Here's the deal.
It's like walking into a sex shop and you see your fucking aunt
in there.
Like you can't be embarrassed because we're both here.
Like you're here and I'm here.
So if somebody sees my porn ad, what are they gonna say?
Oh, so your porn ad, really?
What what what's that you did?
Did you?
Yeah, yeah.
You were on she mail dot
Yeah, we got to spread it in all directions. Yeah, oh
Is it gonna go on what is that going listen to mine pump? Oh nice, okay, great. Well have to tell our listeners
Oh, I can't wait. I can't wait. I tried to launch is like
listeners. Oh, I can't wait. I can't wait. I tried to launch his like for real. We watch porn, whatever. We're gonna get the best freaking listeners from that,
I think. So, so did you guys I can't wait for Q and the following Q and A after that
week. Oh my god. Or Q and A. Oh my god. We're gonna have to make sure we still
answer. I just found you guys. So, Sal, the first time you took a finger in your
blood hole, did you clamp down or did you? Yeah, it's gonna be shit like that dude, it's gonna be shit like that.
He's always got to throw that in there.
So have you guys seen this?
I posted this on Facebook the other day.
I think you saw this, right?
I think I've seen it on Facebook.
Oh dear God.
You should follow me on Facebook because I'm really annoying.
I probably post every-
You used to, I used to-
I used to- I used to-
I know, I used to- Oh yeah, I used to play I still have it. You I had to stop following you because you you'd suck me into these
Political battles with all your all your people and I get caught reading the thread and be like 30 minutes
Goes by am I do what am I doing right now? I love stirring shit
I love it anyway, so you're a master debater. Oh, part, so this, so this is an article that was trending.
Is that say armpit hair? Apparently armpit hair in women is
trending and the stupid author writes trending where like,
I get, okay, so like, I know. So like Miley Cyrus posted a picture of her armpit hair.
It's like humble and a couple other celebrities, you know,
and just showing off their armpit hair. And the author, of course, is a chick.
And the title of the article is,
armpit hair is trending, and it's a step forward for women everywhere.
What?
As a step forward.
Like it's progress.
To what?
Yeah, living in a box and smelling like shit.
Let me, you know what I hate?
I'm gonna piss so many people off.
Some of today's feminists, not all of them,
but some of today's feminists are so fucking bored,
that they picked a stupid,
like how is this feminism?
Like you wanna grow a long armpit or fine?
How's it ever happened to try and be appealing to your mate?
But it besides?
Regardless of mate.
Besides, how is this a step forward?
It's a step backward.
Women had armpit hairs when we were cavemen
and men were beating their women left and right.
That's not a step forward.
There's nothing about that that's a step forward. Yeah, I know that.
That I've been with you.
I don't get it.
It's okay if you're gonna do it, do it.
But to try and make a point out of it like that is just so.
Like, you know, women power.
We're trying to find.
Yeah, it doesn't.
You've accomplished nothing.
Yeah.
I'm not putting that together at all.
I'm like, huh?
Having a baby is way more women power than just letting your armpit hair go.
Look at all these chicks.
Flash it.
Dude, I'm telling you these are all celebrities with armpit hair and it's fucking disgusting. It's wrong, dude
It's just gross. Look at this one with the bathing suit. You know, I feel like I feel like reverse boner
I had a girlfriend. We're old enough to talk about this now. Yeah, that
Yeah, we are like I feel like we've been we've matured. We know I mean what I mean by this is that we've been around for enough generations to seeing like,
we went from being like so like ultra conservative
and like, you know, this everything's like,
you right?
Now we, I feel like we've gone so,
we're so super progressive.
Yeah, that we're trying, like you try to,
to me it's like you're trying.
Yeah, but on top of that,
I feel like, just be you.
Transgender has maybe like taken the limelight.
So now, you know, the armpit hair has to come.
Well, so just wrap that.
That's so funny.
So the shister that I am, right?
So I did something on that today
on the whole transgender,
because we're talking about what Caitlin Jenner.
So there was this, this, this,
this president of some chapter of the NAACP.
Did you read about this?
So there's this lady who's the president of some chapter of the NAACP. did you read about this? So there's this lady who's the president
of some chapter of the NAACP,
and I'll show you guys her picture.
Anyway, she writes about being African-American
and being black, and anyway, it comes out
that she's not black at all, she's a white chick.
Oh no, I did see.
A hundred percent white.
I didn't read the article, but I, yes.
So she's a hundred percent white chick,
she's the president of the NAACP,
and everybody's super pissed off at her. She's the president of the NAACP and
Everybody's super pissed off at her and so I'm like I'm gonna I'm gonna stir some shit, right? So what do I post? I post I
Said I post I post this incredibly hypothetical question if someone can legally change their gender
Can another person change their ethnicity or race? Oh?
Did you like send the bait, bro. That's like a Buzzfeed topic. That's his Facebook, bro.
He sends the bait on people all day.
Now, I, you know, so many times.
I do.
Well, I think, right?
Well, because, because, because,
I want to hear one.
I mean, I love making, like, because you can,
I want to read me a, I want to read me a spurs for you.
I feel like you're worried about me getting signed by a label.
I'm worried about you getting, you know, taken away
for some like Buzzfeed or some other, you know, magazine.
Politics probably is heading that way.
I don't know.
I don't know.
But you know why I do.
Okay, let me tell you why I posted this because you have now both, let's be beginning of
our campaign, right?
Right, right.
Both sides, right?
The little camp we're campaigning for 2022.
Let's do this.
They'll never elect me.
All two.
I'm two games there.
So you have both sides are full of shit, but the liberals, and so I'm totally equal opportunity,
talk shit about both sides,
liberal conservative, both full of shit, half the time.
But the liberal side likes to prize themselves
on the fact that they're tolerant, right?
So Caitlin Jenner comes out and they're like,
she's so brave, and you know,
yes, there's definitely some bravery in there,
but they blew it up.
You know, they made this big.
They made it over exaggerate, right? Yeah, they went nuts with it, but whatever. Whatever, that's, yes, there's definitely some bravery in there, but they blew it up. They made this big, over exaggerate, bro.
Yeah, they went nuts with it, but whatever.
Whatever, that's your thing, that's fine.
I mean, that's cool.
But then the same liberal tolerant people come out and hammer this girl for wanting to
be black, because then she comes out and says, no, my identity is black, I know I'm black,
I feel.
And they're like, you're lying, you can't be the president of the NDA, but I'm like,
let's the difference.
What's the difference? That's the difference. That's'm like, let's the difference. What's the difference?
That's what she feels on the inside.
Like, why aren't you tolerant of her?
Right, because her pig,
because her pigments not there.
They don't make a lot of sense, right?
No.
So I was just doing that just to irritate everybody.
I think she's full of shit because she lied,
but whatever.
You're gonna do your thing, you guys,
do your thing, so.
Anyways.
So when is it?
So what you guys do today?
What you guys been up to today? Oh bro, listen to this
So I just got his hell I know that much, you know
Of course we're final two weeks here, so I'm like, you know in the gym way more than I like to be in the gym
I love the gym and it's definitely my sanctuary
But when you talk about the gym you're talking about that big hairy guy named Jim
So I see that guy I'm on I'm on day right, of like super low carb and cow right now, and on my second session
at the gym, and I'm like, and this is, I hate cardio.
First of all, I fucking hate cardio.
I will do everything I possibly can, nutritionally, weightless to not new cardio, and then until
I absolutely have to, you you know until it comes this
That's the athlete in you bro. Yeah, I
So it's so like no, I do not want to do this
I'd much rather be lifting some iron or I'd much rather be like not eating yeah not eating exactly to me
That's that's it that's a much easier way to handle it
Just seems counterproductive to to to work that hard when I could just restrict a little bit first
So anyways, so I'm in the gym. I, so I'm not happy that I'm doing cardio, so I'm kind of
a fucking bear right now.
And I get up on the stairmaster, which mind you, I haven't done the stairmaster since my
last show, which was seven months ago.
I don't fucking get on that thing.
And if I were doing the step mill or the step monster.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I just thought, I'm gonna get on there.
I'm gonna go lighter.
I'm gonna go as crazy.
Oh, god. Yeah. And I get on there and I'm going slow. I'm not like killing it yet and
Here comes this little Filipino dude and he he gets up right next to me and there's like fucking 10
You know and he gets on right next to whatever, you know and I got my headphone like I got my big headphones on right and
I'm maybe like two minutes in and I can I can feel him like looking over at me.
He's trying to talk to you.
Oh yeah, and I'm just, I'm like dying bro.
I don't wanna be there.
I don't wanna definitely wanna be there.
So I'm like looking straight ahead,
sweats running off me like crazy.
I'm like, I'm having a hard time breathing.
I don't wanna be on here.
But I'm focused on making sure I can stay
lift my leg up every time.
I'm that tired.
And so this dude taps on my shoulder.
And I pull my headphones up. He headphones on. Can I borrow your phone?
And I'm looking at what? Yeah, right? So I go. That's the most random. So he goes, he goes, I need,
and he mumbles something about how he has to get called the hospital and so I'm, you know,
okay, it's emergency or some of that. Maybe his phone's dead because I'm looking at his phone.
And then he gets on my phone or he said the internet though and I'm like, okay, it's emergency or some of that. Maybe his phone's dead because I'm looking at his phone. And then he gets on my phone,
or he said the internet though,
and I'm like, what the fuck?
So he gets on, of course I'm watching him
because I don't wanna purchase something
or doing some fucking over.
So he gets on there and he gets on a map question,
he puts in like an address.
So he gets the phone number for the hospital
and then he uses his phone to call.
So he calls.
And then I, you know, he hands it back to me
and I go, everything good and he goes, yeah.
And I go, okay, cool.
I'm gonna put my head back on,
fucking a little straight ahead,
give back to my work, fucking two minutes later.
Taps me on again.
Hey, I'm so sorry, I don't mean to bug you
while you're doing cardio,
I thought that could he use your phone one more time?
But I'm going to.
Yeah, so one more time, so he gets the same thing,
gets the phone again, I give him the phone,
he goes to the whole same process,
he looks up some adjuncts.
I'm running, we have somebody on fire over there
And I'm still brum keeping my cool brum and to me like I'm really and it's ever since this radio show and and the whole
freaking you know the mince physique pro thing ever since I now I'm always very worried
I'm gonna run into somebody who is either somebody who follows us or you gotta be cool
Yeah, and I know and you know I don't want to come off like a dick, you know I'm saying yeah and so or an end to somebody who is either somebody who follows us or you gotta be cool.
Yeah, and I don't wanna come off like a dick, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
And so, and I feel like sometimes-
But your phone is like an appendage.
I know, I know.
So, but this is what's going through my head right now.
This is why I'm patient.
I'm patient because, you know, hey, who knows?
Maybe this, he listens to my pump,
because of course I asked him if he listened to podcasts
right after that.
That was the next thing coming.
If you had talked to me, I'm gonna find out.
So, okay, you're not tied to me.
So, I ask him, no, he doesn't.
And then he lets me go, right, I go back to doing cardio.
And then about three minutes later, he taps on me again.
And he goes, hey man, he goes, are you religious?
And I'm like, really?
First, he asked you to use your phone.
Many asked you religious.
Yeah, what's next?
Can I borrow your dick?
Like, just go. this guy's so inappropriate.
So I kind of like short version car, right?
Short version tell him I grew up very much.
Right.
And very conservative and he said,
you Catholic or Christian?
I was Christian, I grew up Christian.
And he goes, he's like, man, what do you think
about Illuminati?
Oh my God.
Wow.
And I have, I mean, drugs was this guy. He's like man, what do you think about Illuminati?
And I have I how many drugs was this guy bro? He was not at all. It was total normal normal dude
Yeah, no totally this was not and I've had those stories for you too for the gym where some you know crack addict or something Yeah, he was a normal that came in normal guy. He was a total normal dude. Well, I shouldn't say it was
Obviously he's a little off. You think it's appropriate conversation
to why you're on the stair master?
That's normal.
And I guess the comical part of the whole thing
is like, I literally am just,
if all the time it's talked to me.
I'm just like, don't want to be there.
I'm already irritable already.
And it's like, what this happens to me right now?
And then he asks you some stupid shit.
Yeah, like really?
Are we really going to get,
are we really getting into religion right now
on the fucking stare master, dude?
No, that is not happening.
I'm like, I literally just slid my headphones back on
and then the next time he tried to make it,
and you can see him, he's like,
looking over to make eye contact with me
and like start so he could talk again.
I'm just like, speak this thing up,
get more focused.
I'm like, I don't know, I'll do this.
I didn't even snap on him.
No, I didn't, wow.
I didn't, I'll give you a drop. I'll give you a drop, no, I'll give you a drop. See I didn't do that. I didn't. I fuck with people like that.
No, I don't snap.
I just, I mentally fuck with them so hard.
Yeah.
You would have been like, do you know my deal with an audience?
Like, I worked for them.
I would just twist their, like, what do you mean by that?
I used to do stuff like that when I was at work
and to entertain myself.
I say it all.
But right, when I don't want to talk to you anymore,
I would never do that because if I do that,
I'm a lizard person.
Because if I don't really fast, do do do do do do do do do. dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude They sell helmets. He started green with you and everything like oh you too. Oh yeah, you too They're controlling the weather bro. Would you would you do today?
Justin I do today. What did you do today? What did you train clients today? I trained a couple clients in the morning and then dude
I had all this time. I know that's why I asked you because
You can't board kept texting like I
You guys come in I'm falling asleep. Yeah, you know what usually what I'll do to fill up my time
because I'm kind of in this spot between where I work
and then at home, it's like enough of a commute
where I have to wait out, you know.
And so I got my workout in and then I'm like,
I'm just talking to people and stuff
and then I'm like, well, maybe I'll be working on my computer.
And then I just didn't, you know,
some days you just don't feel like you're gonna be productive and this is totally one of those days and I still was just like, I can't even think of something to do right now.
I'm so bored!
I saw the dancing.
Dancing over a file. I saw the text, I was like, I got some shit for you to do to do to do to do to do.
Just like, fucking dags, Doug.
Yes!
You guys read this over, I didn't even send it back.
I know.
No, I had some clients this morning
and then I just been dragging ass.
You know, you're about those days where you wake up
and you're just like, why am I so slow motion?
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
So I'm slow motion through my training my clients.
So you know what happens to me when I get tired?
One of the ways I wake up,
so here's how you know if Sal is tired.
If Sal gets really loud.
It starts talking to the third person.
I don't mean, yeah, exactly.
I don't mean like normal loud.
I mean like really loud.
That's just what I do,
because it wakes me up.
So my clients will walk in.
I'll be like, yeah, he's here.
Like real loud.
And just get, and everybody,
you know it's funny, Doug knows because I'm,
I used to train Doug and he knows I would do that shit
in the gym, you know.
So I train this 14 year old kid
and no, excuse me, 16 year old kid.
I haven't trained for a while as a big kid now.
And, you know, he's at C16, he's getting to the stage now.
He wants to talk to chicks or whatever.
Anyway, school's out.
So our gym is right next door to the coffee shop,
to the Los Carlos Cafe.
And so all these junior high and high school students
are going over their eat.
So there's these like young girls sitting out in the bench right in front of our doors
So I you know I kicked the doors open right and he's doing curls on my curls for the girls
Girls for the girl
I mean I look at this beast work. It is real loud. Just a bear. He loves it
He loves so that's how I try to wake myself up. That's good. And then it's time to work out.
There's some little lady attention.
It's so sickening how similar we are.
We would have been like,
we would have been like little twins in the gym together.
It would be weird.
What if we were,
if we were,
if we were,
that's why I say you guys are the balls and I'm the penis.
Because we're so much alike.
You're alike.
You work together.
I finished the job.
Oh, damn. because we're so much alike. You're alike, you work together. I finished the job. I don't know.
Ha ha ha ha.
Damn.
So pretty good analogy, bro.
Yeah.
Damn.
Yeah, so then I'm tired, right?
So I'm like, I gotta work out.
So, and luckily, no one's in the gym anymore.
So what I do is I turn the lights off
for whatever reason I like to work out in the dark.
Turn the lights off.
I put on some really angry music,
and then I take about 350 milligrams of caffeine
and some amino acid stuff and I'm like,
this shit better work because I'm about to,
I need to break some shit.
You just reminded me of something I have to ask you guys
if you remember being like this.
So do you remember when you first started as a trainer
and how you would get people's attention
that was watching, that was in the gym,
like they were watching you train.
I mean, I used to teach my trainers this all the time
that, you know, they say that the average person
shops their trainer for three months before they even
purchase.
Yeah, they watch you.
And so I used to tell them, as soon as you walk in the gym,
you're on, you're working.
And if you don't think you are, like, you're silly.
And if you're that guy who goes up and you just talk
to the hot
Chicks all the time like your members are gonna think I pick up on that yeah
They pick up on that if you're the guy who's fucking around all the time and doesn't take care of himself
It's just like the body people. Yes, the body language is like we always talked about we knew who was banging who oh
Yeah, because like the body language never lies. Oh, yeah, you can't and it's a dead giveaway on trainers like that
So I'm like if you're gonna be that way you're you're gonna you're never gonna be great. You could be good still. You can still fuck your clients and be good
You can you know if you're a trainer you listen right now. You can but we don't we don't not recommend you
No, no, no, no, I'm telling you right now if you bang your clients, you can still be good
You won't be great. No, you'll never be great
You'll never be great if you do she like that because you realize it or you may not realize, some people realize when they get, when they get going,
they'll find out that the,
all those clients that they say,
no, to those clients will keep paying you forever.
They will continue to pay you year in and year out,
hoping that one day you bang them.
You bang them, they're not paying you shit.
You know what?
And on top of that, we already have,
trainers are like massage therapists.
We already have this reputation
where you have to maintain complete professionalism on that standpoint because one little rumor comes out that you're banging
clients.
You're a trainer, right?
We already have that reputation.
Trainers and massage therapists, you know, they have that type of reputation.
Yeah, I don't know how we totally detoured over what I was saying, but it just reminded me
in something.
I was asking people's attention.
Yeah, I was asking you guys that I used to, you know, it reminds me of this
when we talked to joking about the whole
functional training days, you know, like,
I would just do the craziest, like, core stabilizing
that for show.
Oh, and not only that, and then I would be loud.
You know what I'm saying?
I'd be loud about stuff and challenge my client.
I mean, I year the loud counter.
Oh, I was always loud.
I was super loud, counted like, and, you client. I mean, I year the loud counter. Oh, I was always loud. It was super loud, counted like,
and you know, my clients, it's so funny,
that you could tell that they liked it.
They liked feeling like on stage and working hard
and proving, and people would stop and watch,
you know, people would watch in the gym.
And you know that, I know that, you know,
I knew what I was doing.
I knew that I was getting the attention
of all these other possibilities.
Because to me, I looked at it as those are all possible.
That's business.
That's funny.
It reminds me, like you're talking about attention
of this one client I had that,
like it was this lady and she was a massage therapist.
And every time I would train her,
she would start like, you know, like getting really serious
and like, like she would use it to like get out
all this aggression.
And so when it got to like where she was getting tired
and it was like she was getting like really pissed,
she'd be like, fuck!
Shit!
And it would look right at like the biggest guy
in the weight room and just like,
stab him down the head.
Yes, fuck!
Yes.
I was like, oh, this is so funny.
And I was like totally hiding my head like, oh, Lord.
Bro, I trained this older lady.
And I say older, she was 87.
And I trained her for three years, okay.
I don't give a shit what exercise we're doing.
She fart every time.
But she didn't hear very good.
So I think she didn't realize that it was audible.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, I love it. And it would always come out. She just think it's she's slipping some out and it was always like high-pitch
It was always high-pitch. Yeah, like real like real tight height
I wanted to I wouldn't know and I would like oh damn it
I would have been laughing like his stare. I did I start laughing. Yeah, I'm laughing. I'll be like I love training
I want to I want to hear you I want to hear you tell some stuff.
I know if you tell some stuff, it'll totally remind me.
And I'm sure people would actually,
I bet we have some listeners that would like to hear.
Coming up as a trainer,
and obviously we've talked about this before,
all the company records and stuff like that,
and sales that we had is,
what are some things that you did
that were just what other people didn't do
that was made you unique in how you sold it?
That's to me, that's why I brought that up was,
you know, you said remind me something that God meant,
I used to do that and I would say that,
because I don't, and I've said this before,
I don't think I was a very good trainer
when I first started.
The first probably three to five years of my career,
I don't think I was that good trainer at all. I think it was better than a lot of people, but I don't think I was that good at train at all
I think it was better than a lot of people
But I don't I don't think I wouldn't hired me. I wouldn't me now would not hire me 10 years ago for sure and
You know, I evolved into a great trainer later on and early on though
I was very successful financially because I was good in sales
and
You know part of that like that, people don't really,
people always ask me too.
I give people, once I had been doing it for a long enough time
and broke enough records and showed that people started
to ask come around the company,
I'd get trainers from other clubs and be like,
what does it you do to sell?
What's your line or what's this to that?
And it's like, to me, I really thought
it was all the other things that,
of course I could sell too,
but like I was just saying, when you first walk in the gym, you really thought it was all the other things that, you know, of course I could sell too, but you know
Like I was just saying when you when you first walk in the gym you're on sale already
How you carry yourself how you talk to your members?
Are you do you have lots of energy like the way you're saying like even when I'm fucking tired?
Like I used to do the same thing. That's why you just totally sparks me in me like
I would be so fatigued for running like 12 clients in a row because I was grinding all day and it's a client
I do not want to see but I would bring it even harder to that client
Oh, yeah, that client would that client I to see, but I would bring it even harder to that client.
That client would just be, and I would be the same way
today, I could be like, oh my God, I'm so excited to see you.
I've been waiting, I've been through 11 clients
that couldn't wait to get to you.
You know what I'm saying?
That's me closing myself and keeping myself that way
and he's knowing that she's paying attention
to how I feel when she walks through that door
and the people around her watching how I am with them.
Oh, bro, I still do to this day. I'll sing in the gym. We're getting buffed over here
You know and the whole everybody's looking over like what's going on? But I would just get really
creative and I would bullshit. I would bullshit so hard that the client knew I was bullshit
Like I'm not trying to bullshit to lie to you. I'm trying to bullshit for you to be entertained
Yeah, so I'd make up some crazy stories lie to you. I'm trying to bullshit for you to be entertained.
So I'd make up some crazy stories
and just talk about some hilarious shit
and people would laugh and love it.
And I wasn't, you know, I totally made it all up
and they knew it.
Or sometimes I would outright bullshit like,
I'll give you an example.
I would get people, and you, I'm sure you guys have seen this,
you guys would get, you know, people or walk-ins
who obviously need to work out.
And they're gonna give you every excuse in the book
why they're not gonna work out.
And it's irritating, right?
Because it's like you're gonna, you know,
at the, you could, you could, for cheap, you could work out.
You're just making shit up right now.
So what I would do, especially when a husband
would come in with his wife, so I'd have a husband and wife,
and I knew that I could get the husband and wife to buy
if I could scare their shit out of the wife
about her husband's health.
Oh, about it.
Oh, dude.
If I could scare-
That's what I was tricking the book.
If I could scare the wife about her husband's health,
that they're gonna join.
And by the way, if you have a couple,
okay, if you have a man and a woman who are coming in,
you sell the wife.
You don't sell the husband.
You do not sell the, you sell the wife.
You focus a lot of your attention on the wife and then that's the-
How about this then?
And the other thing to think on that exact point is, another thing that my trainers were
always so afraid to ask for big money.
Like you're talking about something that, you're talking about somebody's life, right?
You can get fucking one life to live.
That's it, man.
You may as well do that one right.
There's nothing else like that.
When we spend tons of money on cars and beds and houses
and how many people spend on their cell phone bill.
We spend things on all these things that we use
and then they go waste side years later or whatever like that
or you need to buy another one like a car after 10 years.
But you talk about your body.
You get fucking one of those.
You tell me that that wouldn't be your biggest investment
in your entire life, wouldn't you think would be on that?
And you're gonna have that attitude and that confidence
when you presented someone.
So just like you said, I find the husband
who's got all his issues, and he's getting
presented in the fucking life program.
Oh bro, I'm presenting here.
I'm gonna remove yourself from the next 12 months
to three years, what he's gonna be doing.
Because he needs, because let's be honest though, and the reason why I could do it, and I could, and I could sell. I'm gonna present you in the next 12, 12 months to three years what he's gonna be doing.
Because he needs, because let's be honest though,
and the reason why I could do it, and I could,
and I could sell it.
And I'm being honest.
Because yeah, because he fucking did.
Because he was 65 pounds overweight.
He doesn't know dick about nutrition.
He knew that he's shy.
He can't, when he lifts weights, he can't even fucking keep his elbows
by his side with his biomechanics are terrible.
His back is fucked, you know what I'm saying?
Like he's a three year project.
Well, and too, like a lot of the mistake I see is like,
you identify that as like, if I'm in here,
I would never pay for that.
Dude, that's crazy.
Like that's such not the right mentality
to have a selling site like.
I used to fuck it.
You would not like to check it.
I would never,
I wouldn't say she like that.
Yeah, yeah, I would never say that.
Which I would never say that.
No way, I'm always thinking like,
I just start creating the same numbers for myself.
Well, it's stupid because of course you wouldn't.
You're a fucking trainer.
Well, just like a mechanic wouldn't spend money
on another mechanic to, you know, change his tires.
I'm not gonna just go do this.
I'm not gonna hire a trainer for $150 an hour.
Why?
Because I'm a trainer.
There's no reason for me to hire another trainer.
Right.
But I would take to check this out.
So I'd take a guy overweight with his wife,
we'd go through the gym and then I'd put them on a piece
of a cardio that had that could take your heart rate, right?
Oh, I've ever used to do that.
Right, so we'd get on the bike and they'd be like,
okay, so we're gonna have you ride,
we're gonna measure your heart rate.
And then I'd watch the heart rate climb
and I'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
like slow down, slow down, slow down, slow down,
and I'd take him off and I'd take him off.
You're all stressed out.
I'd take him off and I'd take his pulse. I all stressed out. I take him off and I take his pulse.
I'd be like, oh, I'd be like, that climbed very quickly.
I said, let me, let's try another machine.
I think this one may be broken.
And we would do it again.
And then after we were done, right?
So now he's like, fuck, and the wife is like,
oh my, she's like, oh my God, I told you.
I told you, it was bad.
So then I take him upstairs, we break down.
We sit down.
We sit down and I'd be like, and I'd always start like this.
I'd be like, let me get you glass of water. If you start to feel faint, let me know sit down and I'd be like and I'd always start it like this I'd be like let me get your glass of water if you start to feel faint
Let me know okay, and I come back in with last water and then we start talking and every time dude every time
I show them the programs and the guy be like well
I need to think about it and the wife would be like no no, we need to do you need to do this
Yeah, I'd be like I'll be like you know and I'd stop right there
I'd be like let me give you guys a second to discuss this. I'll be right over there
Let me know when you're ready and I'd stop right there, but like, let me give you guys a second to discuss this. I'll be right over there, let me know when you're ready. And I'd walk away, and every time, dude,
you're fucking joined.
Because I scared them.
But you know what, I changed your life.
I helped them out.
I helped them out, and that's how I rationalize.
Yeah, I've done that.
You doing that.
I think you have a part of you.
If you're one of those guys,
because then there's those trainers too,
that are a purely, you know, sales and manipulative,
and then they, you know,
they don't care, you know.
And so, and the reason is no follow-up.
Once again, you could be good then.
You could still be good, a good trainer if you don't care and you, and you weasel and
you manipulate and you're, and you're, and you're saying you're terrible at that.
But if you're going to be great, you, you got to, you got to believe that that's why
you are worth that, you know, that's the reason why you charge that much money is because
I'm going to deliver a program.
And you know what, at first maybe you feel intimidated
because you don't have all the experience and knowledge
that maybe somebody does in this room,
but that's okay though, you gotta get there somehow,
you know what I'm saying?
And by pussy foot in there, it's not gonna get there.
You gotta have the balls to fill your company.
Try out by fire.
And try as hard as you can.
A lot of it is just giving, just giving to your client.
You're gonna get smarter, you're gonna get better, you're gonna get more skilled, to feel your company. Try out by fire. And try as hard as you can. A lot of it is just giving. Just giving to your client.
You're gonna get smarter.
You're gonna get better.
You're gonna get more skilled.
You're gonna get more experience.
You're gonna run into the same.
I mean, fuck, I've seen everything now.
I've seen every problem with every excuse tied into every
whatever, you know what I'm saying?
Like, we've seen it all, you know.
And by now it's a lot easier, but you know,
until that day comes, you just fucking grind it out.
You just reminded me when you said every problem
and excuse, you know one of the biggest mistakes
sales people make is they don't realize
that nine out of 10 times the excuse
that the person's giving you is just hot air.
And what they'll do is they'll sit there
and try and overcome everything that the person's saying.
So like if I'm sitting here talking to a lady
and she's like, oh, you know, I'm a single mom
and I don't have that much time. And then the guys in a come out she's like, oh, you know, I'm a single mom and I don't have that much time
And then the guys in a come on be like, well, you got to make time for fitness
Yeah, I read some stupid sales
It's like don't you?
Basic 101 sales that's not her objection dumbass. She's just telling you that it's hard to make time
So all you got to do is say yes, I totally understand man. You're right. That is very difficult
It's tough and you go to the and it's oh, it's like he just acknowledged that I just say you know, right?
Commender and commender you know saying yeah, no, it commender for for what she the fact she's here
Yeah, you're here right now. You made that step or you're walking to the gym like man
It's packed right now and he'd be like it is and then you're done like I've had sales guys
Oh, well, this is peak. Oh, or it's like more quiet right now
I'd be like it is for it. It is really packed and we keep walking I fucking a lot of energy in here
A lot of people change their lives and that fucking awesome gets me so excited every time I come in. Oh my god
He's selling that's classic. Oh, bro
That's how I would answer that I would answer exactly like someone change lives. It's right, dude
Who was it that he's to answer the phone like that? Oh
This is so much change the lives. Oh my god. I think it reminds me of office space with
You guys ever see that movie
Clostet where the ladies like answer the phone. Thank you for calling. Yeah, oh my god
I used to have this can I have this district manager every time you'd answer the phone guy
This is bulldog and be like yeah, so can I approve this deal?
But like are you guys poppin? Are you poppin? Did you put it balloons? Let's pop pop it pop it pop it's how he talk
Yeah, wow yeah, and he got he's talking. One more time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he got away with it,
because he was a massive mother.
I've never seen anyone so big in strong in my life.
Yeah.
So that kind of worked on me.
That's funny.
So I think that concludes our episode about nothing.
Yeah.
Tune in next time where we actually give you important
and furniture to do.
I thought it started out about when we needed
entrants. We didn't do an important in months. I thought it started out about when we had entrants.
We didn't do an intro.
I will say this before we go off,
you've made me self-conscious about my hairy legs.
That was the purpose of all that.
They're not that bad, dude.
I'm looking at it right now.
They're not.
Fuck.
I want to touch them.
Yeah, see?
I'm going to, if I shave them, it's over, bro.
Because I already saw hairy legs.
To be honest with you, when we were talking in the day and you were teasing me about my small legs, I'm gonna if I shave them fuck it's over bro Because I really like to be honest with you when we were talking in the day and you were teasing me about my small a's
I'm like, you know what? I think he's all hair to be honest with you
I
Think he's a majority hair like I'm not convinced I'm gonna get the tape measure out because maybe you would you squish down
Maybe you should post the quad shot together
Oh, let's get the tape measure out
It's getting game
All right, thanks guys. Thank you for listening to mine pump for more information about this a lot of you are out.
This is MindPomp.