Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 109: This girl wants to jump your bones
Episode Date: July 6, 2015How can you tell when a woman wants to have sex with you? Adam breaks it down for Sal and Justin....
Transcript
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If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go.
Mind, pop, mind, pop with your hosts.
Salda Stefano, Adam Schaefer, and Justin Andrews.
Welcome back to Mind Pump, your regular host tonight here.
You're listening to guest host Sizzling Salami Stabon.
Oh yeah.
John Buckeye, and Clyde and Ellusia
boom
that's our name
your name is weird Adam
Clyde and Ellusia
Clyde and Ellusia
don't you remember doing like that when you
that is a weird one
you're supposed to take the first the name
the middle name the name no no no
the name of your first pet and the
first street you ever lived on and put it on.
Oh, I fucked that up then.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mine was middle name and then the street lived on.
Yeah, you're supposed to do your first pet would be, I'd be licorice book eye.
Yeah, I see.
That's a great one, dude.
That's weird.
I'm glad in Aleusia.
Yeah, my first dog with name was Salami, so that's why I'm just kidding All right, that was actually my nickname. I think we should you know what?
Why don't we do a cool random episode where we that won't be incriminating because we're gonna be these different people
Oh, yeah, yeah, we're all under alias here, so yeah, so actually we had a question the other day
I forgot to bring this up to you
I'm looking at you. I know I see about chocolate. I'm looking at you Clyde-us
Clyde it's called me Clyde Clyde I'm looking at you. I know I see that. I'm looking at you, Clyde. Clyde.
It's called me Clyde.
Clyde, I'm looking at you.
So the question is, this was from one of our listeners,
I don't remember who it was,
but the question was, how can you tell
when a girl wants to have sex with you?
Oh, yeah.
How can you tell?
What are the sick news?
And now, can you just say?
They put up an Adam Cock, like a like a bat sign?
Is there a beacon? Well today would have something from this like is it a vagina project up
into the sky like a like bat like the bad man. Adam looks that's what I was going for.
Adams in the middle of working. Adam's working and he looks up in the sky. He's like,
like, people need me. I'll be back. Is they right there? Well, sometimes sometimes
it's like, sometimes it's really undercover and it's really, people need me, I'll be back. Stay right there. Well, sometimes, sometimes it's like,
let me change really,
sometimes it's really undercover and it's really hard to tell.
And sometimes it's just blatant, obviously.
Today I was walking the dog and I was on pariscope
and I was like,
sharing with all the viewers on pariscope
my post eating diet and I'm walking the dog
with my shirt off.
Is this the coup when she,
I have to do is take your shirt.
And then the first car load goes by and it's got
a couple chicks
and then they scream out and that was that was pretty funny and pretty typical of that.
But they didn't want to have sex.
Yeah, they did, but the lady that wanted to fuck you could tell that was the second car
drove by and it literally she like screech.
She's doing like 30 miles an hour around the corner.
Slam's on her brakes as she passes.
Here's keys to my house.
She looked like she was late 40s early 50s.
Oh, she's down.
And she's driving a little rav for.
Slams on her brakes, hangs her head out the window
and looks back at her car comes to a stop and says,
son of a bitch.
Did she just whip her titties on her right there?
No, she just looked at me like that.
Like she stared at me and she started to slowly get going.
And I was like in the middle of Periscope.
We thought that was too funny right there.
So if you haven't watched my Periscope, you can actually catch that
live on what it happened. It was at my
Periscope. He was Periscoping in more ways than Periscope. We
love to hate out.
To be speaking.
Yeah. So you know, every woman is different, but I feel like
there are there's definitely he's about to he's about to
like just lay some fucking brilliant on.
It's honest.
Oh, hold on, let me get comfortable.
Because when you talk like this, bro,
I gotta listen.
I kinda pull my boxes now.
I'm not so constricted.
All right, go Adam.
Well, there's always signs,
and I think that this is actually an important part
of growing in social awareness.
And- You see how he ties it in to make it look like
this super important, you know.
Oh yeah, and it is, but the way he presents it.
It's amazing.
All right, continue.
We're going to break this down like we're sports sports.
Yeah, no, I appreciate that.
I think you guys should so.
And he's on.
People understand that it's not as simple as just like,
because you don't just walk up to a girl and a girl just
just say, I mean, it doesn't just go,
hey, I want to fuck you, guys do that.
We do that.
Yeah.
We just say, hey, you know, I really want to fuck,
you know, or hey, I'm really into you or whatever.
Apparently gay guys, like really fast.
Yeah, girls have all these crazy rules and signs
and, you know, things that they have to do first
before they open up the gates, you know,
it's just this, it's not. And in, see, at this moment, Justin, he's before they open up the gates. You know, it's just it's not and in and see at this moment,
Justin, he's making his reference to the vagina.
Gates gates.
I did.
I did.
Adam.
Yeah, so and and and and and
anyway, is this gate.
Does it come with like a control?
You know, like I had this one garage door.
Not for us though.
Adam's the only one that holds that.
Okay, I can tell.
Yeah, I'm just asking,
I'm a universal remote.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe we can tap into this remote.
Continue.
That's actually a very good point.
Very few people have a universal remote.
Most guys have, they have one remote.
I got that like RCA one.
It's yeah, and if you have an RCA one,
it works only on RCA garage doors.
That's it, you can't have an RCA and open up a wifi signal. garage doors. That's it. You can't you can't have an RCA open a
Wi-Fi. Yeah, but see what happens. He doesn't he doesn't know so he just clicks it at every fucking garage. He sees it
It is such a great and that that's a great analogy. There it is because that's exactly how this works most guys
That's their mentality is they have one garage door opener
Okay, and they go and they approach all these garage doors,
pressing and clicking, hoping it's gonna open
and one out of so many ends up opening up
and that's the one they get.
So that's the key to vagina.
But if you're that good, you have a universal remote
and a universal remote will open any garage.
But in order to open any garage,
you have to have those social awareness skills.
You have to be able to read what the signal she's sending you and all women are different.
So this is where this gets tricky.
So she sucks on her finger.
Well, now, okay, if she's a stripper or she's a whore, if she's a stripper or a whore
and she sucks on her finger, you're right.
That is that can be. Or a whore, both exclusive. But if she's a stripper or a horror and she sucks on her finger, you're right. That is that-
Or a horror.
Both exclusive, you know.
But if she's the same, she could just be some fat chick
that's lifting Sarah up off her finger that from earlier
that day, she had breakfast.
So she might have been hungry.
That's totally not a signal for that for that chick.
That's just a hungry fat chick who wants to
serve up out of her finger.
You know what?
You are not catching a signal there.
She might.
You're not getting to your signal.
She might be hungry for you, bro.
Well, they could be.
Because they got big apples.
No, maybe you're eating ice cream.
I tell you, a stripper or a horror licks her finger
to tell you she wants some.
OK, that's it.
You're not going to get some.
You're not going to get the girl that you want to bring home
to mom.
That's Adam's next guide coming home.
Stripper or horror. Follow my easy steps to mom. That's Adam's next guide. I mean, stripper or horror.
Follow my easy steps to determine what you're dealing with. Yes.
Most girls that will eventually open up the pearly gates for you are
going to to play.
See there's another gate.
Poor.
Yes.
Pearls.
Yeah.
They're going to, um, they're going to, they're going to play
hard to get, brother.
They're not going to, they're not going to, um, they're not going to give
you the code to the garage right away, brother. They're going to, they're going to make you work for. And if anything, they're going to play like they get, brother. They're not going to, they're not going to, um, they're not going to give you the code to the garage right away, brother. They're going to, they're
going to make you work for it. And if anything, they're going to play like they're not interested
because most girls, uh, that are a challenge that are worth catching, uh, they want to see,
they want to see what this guy or who you are and what you're made of. And if you are smooth
enough to actually get this garage door open. So they're going to, they're going to lock
it down, dude. They're going to lock it down. So no means the past, the security.
So yeah, sometimes no means absolutely yes.
Oh, you know, sometimes no means,
I want you to learn how to open this gate,
but I don't believe you can.
And that's kind of the attitude.
Like you're not ready yet.
Yeah, like you walk up, right?
You gotta go through the gates of Mornor.
And you guys are both good looking guys.
So you guys walk up, you guys approach this.
We know this.
This theme one, right?
Yeah.
But we're, you know, we're talking about a dime piece right here.
We're talking about a girl who knows she's good looking to
and she's got her shit together.
And you walk up to her and her first impression of you,
she's looking at you and she goes like, okay,
I might fuck this.
But when she gets up to you,
she's not gonna give you any of those signals
because she is up to you, she's not going to give you any of those signals because... No signs.
...because she is used to getting approached by other good-looking guys just like you. And
she wants to see that you're going to separate yourself from the rest.
See, she checked this out. So a man looks at every woman and tries to find a reason why he's
going to sleep with her. Yes. A woman looks at every man and tries to find the reasons
why she won't. Absolutely. Okay Okay, that's exactly how that's her
That's like an epiphany, bro, and that's the reason why signals signals are very unique and different between every woman and most the times
It's skewed just because you use and this is what happens to most guys most guys freak out at the first sign of no dude
And that's where you go all wrong just because a girl gives you the first sign of, I'm not interested, doesn't mean she's not interested.
It just means you need to try harder, stupid.
You know what I'm saying?
No, just try harder, you get arrested.
Yeah.
You mean you need to change your approach?
Well, that's true.
Try harder, just because I use it.
I'm gonna cover our bad jobs.
I don't wanna get it in trouble.
Well, just because we use a verb,
like harder, doesn't necessarily mean
that we're, you know, we're additive, how am I using that?
Adam told me to try harder.
Yeah, that's why I don't think.
Does it mean like physically, just like, no.
I mean, I'm using it as a verb, not an adjective.
You're using it like an adjective when you say like that,
where they actually, basically you're gonna get harder.
No, that's not what you're gonna do here.
This is you're actually gonna have a better approach.
That's what you need to do and circle the wagon,
just like in any other clothes, you know.
It's, they say the they say the average clothes take seven
nose before you get a yes.
And the female vagina, I believe, is something between 14
and 20.
So what are some of your objectives?
Like, what do you have to overcome?
No.
Okay, so there's no.
Yeah, what else?
No right away.
So do you at that point reverse gears and try to act like you're
pulling away a little bit? Do you come in you at that point reverse gears and try to act like you're pulling away a little
bit?
Uh, do you, do you come in disinterested?
Well, if, if, if you're really good, okay, and this goes back to our hunting analogy
we talked before and you see, you see what you're going after.
The biggest mistake you can do is show your bait right away.
Right.
You do not, you don't want to show them the water.
Exactly.
You do not, you don't want her to know even think that you're fishing
Right now you want it you want to approach her just like you're hanging out you're hanging out the lake you're hanging out
You're walking around you're not gonna you have no plans of putting your pulling all your
You're skipping rocks for skipping rocks you're hanging out you know that you want to put like a little tiny seed
Yes, on them maybe on their backs somewhere
little tiny seed on them, maybe on their backs somewhere. They don't even know it's there.
So, and I think this is where people get, and here's the old
just urminates, just saying hi and talking to a woman
and getting the conversation started and finding out who she is
and what she's about without any intentions of fucking her
and you gotta, you gotta believe that that's your attention.
If you're that guy, if you're like,'re that do well see now now you're talking about
that's okay that's the hard part it is the hard part is you have to convince yourself
yes I don't want to have sex with her yes I just want to have a conversation yes
ah other will smell it otherwise because then there's an energy thing I think then your
dick takes over ah and then you're stupid yeah you're because the dick has one any
should only understands how to do one thing right otherwise
It's a very literate brain. Yeah, otherwise you're the guy who's standing there in front of the lake with the fishing pole behind his back
You know and saying like I'm not here to fish
Yeah, you know and she's like bullshit. I could see the fishing pole sticking out behind your head
Yeah, I was like come on so you got you got to have a good bathroom and keep casting yeah
Leave your fishing pole back, you know leave your fishing pole back at your house or in your car. You know, just go out, check the leg out, you'll check the scenery out,
skip some rocks, talk to her, tell her, you know, tell her she's beautiful or she's nice, but then
ask her question. You might have one of those Fisher priceless, it's, you know, too small. Yeah.
I have to, I think I have to get simpler analogies for Justin. He's not writing the guide on this.
He's not going to write the guide on this.
Yeah, he's the, this one is here.
I'm trying to three of them.
Yeah, we're not going to let him write the guide on this one.
This one, this one, I'm going to stick to the, the side stuff.
So what if, so what if a girl, so you start out,
you're asking questions, having conversations, if she starts to bring up
risky, risky questions
or conversations, then you can then, you know,
okay, she's, she's, she's.
Oh, okay, now here, now this depends
on what level you are at, okay.
Now, if you are like a level 10 like frickin' Jedi,
this, you'll get this analogy.
All right, finally.
If you're a Jedi, a Mace Windu,
or you know, you like Obi-Wan, like,
you know, give me some reference here.
Okay, if you are Obi-Wan, like, you know, give me some reference here. Okay. If you are, if you are Obi-Wan, bro, and she gives you the garage door code, she
gives you the code by saying what you're saying right now, so all right.
Well, probably because he was like, you give me the code.
Well, and but Obi-Wan still doesn't walk through the garage yet. He doesn't just because
he has the code. Doesn't mean he opens the garage yet because if he wants to really open the garage and he wants to open the garage, whatever the fuck he wants, he has the code, doesn't mean he opens the garage yet, because if he wants to really open the garage,
and he wants to open the garage,
whatever the fuck he wants, he takes the code,
he knows he has the code, but he moves along still.
He's just gonna, he's still stick with his original plan,
which is getting that going there,
finding out about her, letting her find a little bit about him,
and then knowing that finding out that you have the code,
and then moving along with the code,
that gives you the universal remote because you may be smooth enough.
You may be that guy who goes in gets the code.
She says she lets you in.
You hit it that night and then that's it.
Then you do nothing happens after that and then she finds out you're a douchebag and that's
all you're trying to do is get her home and then get in her pants and then she's moved
on for this relationship.
But if you want the remote that opens that garage door and opens that garage door, whatever
you want to open that garage door, you take away the takeaway clothes.
The takeaway clothes is the greatest clothes in the book.
Yeah.
So if she gives that to you, if you're that smooth, where you got up there,
start talking to her and she starts giving you signals.
And some of these signals, do you build it up as far as being super dramatic
and you get to that climax and you're like, yeah, it's just going to happen.
And then you're just like, you know what,
I got a phone call, I'm gonna take this, you know.
I'll see you.
Oh, you mean like, oh, you mean the conversation with her?
Yeah, build it up.
You mean build up like, like you're like halfway in the garage.
Like a cocktail, you could be up for it.
Oh, you mean so like getting her all excited,
like we're gonna hang out with someone, take away.
No, I don't think I would do that.
I think I would hang out with her
and then not make a move.
So, maybe you're smooth enough to get a date
or go back and watch a movie.
We're listening to a genius from you.
I know, well, he's Yoda.
So, to me, yeah.
You guys tell him what you want, he's fucking Yoda.
Well, guys, the hardest problem with us us is we're in such a hurry.
We're in such a hurry with so many things that, you know, we want instant.
We have goals. We do. We have goals. We want instant gratification.
And, you know, some, some dudes just because, like I said, they get the code or what
that and they get in, they feel like they want, you know.
Well, it's all, look, it's all based on evolution. Look, for a man, you know,
we can impregnate how many women within nine months.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, so.
A lot, right?
We're not talking about getting people in.
Well, no, no, no, let me explain.
Win and down.
She had to pull out.
Boater tune.
No, listen, listen what I'm saying.
A woman can only get pregnant once within nine months.
So women have to, they're just evolved that way where they need to be more picky and choosy whereas guys are like, let's have sex right now because. So women have to, they're just evolved that way, where they need to be more picky and choosy,
whereas guys are like, let's have sex right now,
because we don't have to,
because we can figure out afterwards,
I don't like this girl.
I love your evolution.
But that's why that's why it's so good.
That's why it's so good.
It's very true.
Women are designed, whether you believe in creation
or whatever.
Evolved.
The women are made to look for that.
They are looking for someone who's going to provide,
take care of them. Stick around. Yes, stick around. They size you up by the jeans you're carrying.
Right. Right. Well, look, they can be, and they look at what you look like, you know, as far as
trace the pass on, like how smart your conversation is, like how successful you are. Right. They know
all that within life before even talk. Bro, here's how you know this is the biggest difference
you can tell right now.
If you look at porn design for women,
it's not just a picture of a naked dude.
Like porn for guys half the time is just body parts.
You didn't even see the face.
But for women, it's a dude,
and it's obviously you can tell he's doing something
like he's taking a suit off or it's a firefight.
Cause they have to create that story in their mind
to go along with the naked dude in the picture, otherwise it doesn't really get them off.
You see what I'm saying?
Yeah, absolutely.
So they have to size you up.
So this is a, I mean,
and you know what?
And you know what,
and you know what,
and you know what,
and you know what,
and you know what,
and you know what,
and you know what,
and you know what,
and you know what,
and you know what,
and you know what,
and you know what,
and you know what, and you know what, and you know what, and you know what, and to talk about this. You know what? I saw that movie and I mean, the girl's kind of hot in it.
Yeah.
She should have, I feel like she should.
It trimmed her bush a little bit.
Okay.
Did you remember that?
Yeah, that was a lot of hair.
That was some hair.
Um, the movie was good, but it was, it was fucking fake.
Like, like the first date dude, your second date,
well just the dynamic between the two maybe laugh
Yeah, right cuz the guy the whole time the guys just like
Yeah, just don't get too close to me. Yeah, don't get you close to me. That was like his whole thing gag on this
Yeah, shut the fuck up
No, but like nobody acts like that but like the second the second day he takes her to his he goes
Would you like to see my playroom?
First of all, if a woman's on a date with this guy
for the second or third time,
and he says, would you like to see my playroom?
She's calling 911.
She's like, this is fucking shit.
She's like, listen, I don't wanna drink your Cosby drink.
Yeah.
I'm going to this bar.
Shit.
Over here.
So he opens the door and there's a bunch of chains
and you shit hanging from the ceiling
and straps on the wall and craze.
What woman would stick around the third day and do that?
Unless she was the chick that liked her finger when she first met him like you said earlier.
If she wasn't that chick, which finger was it?
Yeah, she's not sticking around.
If she liked, if she sucked on her finger, she's not sticking in something.
Yeah, because if it was the thumb, that wouldn't be a turn on.
Yeah, right?
Like, that's the long finger bitch.
Well, is it no original? The book? The book? Because if it was the thumb that wouldn't be a turn off. Yeah, right? Right? That's the long figure, bitch.
Well, is it no?
Originally the book, the book.
I'm not into that.
I haven't watched this movie.
There's some weird fetish.
You haven't watched 50 Shades?
I can't believe you guys watched that movie.
We did, do we're married?
I know, dude.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
You guys just lost a notch with me right now.
You guys kill you.
Bro, it's half porn.
No, it is not, get out of here. Bro, it's not half porn. It's his porn. No, it is not get out of here. Bro
It's not half porn. It's his porn issues. It's gonna get let me put it that way
Adam's like sitting here like he's an authority and now I just lost it for you bro like we saw titties
Yeah, we don't get to see that
Okay
Doc to me and you're married
You got limited options. Oh God, right my poor girl, but on this one, we're not getting married anytime soon.
Bro, you're not telling me to shade.
I'm just going forward to 50 shades of hair that we can. You're not telling me you watch a show that she likes it.
You don't really like, but you watch it with her.
Dude, I hate to tell you.
It's better than Magic Mike. And I know you've seen that shit. I have seen Magic.
Oh, yeah. I know it. You cannot give me shit. You know who just you know who just lost Adam. Yeah, Adam just one hundred percent
All right fair enough fair enough
I did I did watch me love to watch me love to my girl
My before me my girl daddy is stripper. So I was really interested in the wait. She's day this stripper to she
Yeah, she my girl my girl's last relationship was with the stripper you and her both of the yeah
That's why we make such a good match
Although although I think if you meet my girl you had no idea like she does not strike you with somebody that way no
She went but before we before we still got to get the girls on here and he keeps asking about that. So we got to do that
Yes, they're scared of death. I'm not scared my girl. My girl gets a guy
I got nothing to hide.
Yeah, but back to the question as far as knowing it's too my legs.
When it's okay to make that move on a girl, I mean, there's a lot of times you can make
that move very early on because if a girl is giving you the time of day, it's normally
green light because most girls are very obvious
that they don't want to talk to you.
I, I, sorry, I should backp it all there.
It's very obvious to me when a girl doesn't want to talk to me.
Some guys don't get the hit, you know.
If a girl's not engaging in a conversation with you or she's giving you yes, no type
answers when you're asking her questions, she probably doesn't want to talk to you.
But if you can get her talking about herself and most people like to talk about themselves and you guys are having a drawn out conversation, she's interested.
She's definitely interested.
And then at that point, it's really up to you to fuck it up or not.
And that really comes to if you like most guys who want to jump in and hurry up and get
there too fast, like at that point, you should know that you have got a fastball coming
right down the middle.
And you can swing as hard as you right down the middle and you can swing as
hard as you can grip the bat and swing as hard as you possibly can and hope that God it gets out
of the park or you can be smart and you can just hit a base hit. You know, and a base hit would be
just getting around on a date or just hanging out another time with her and spending more quality
time with her and giving her more time. It's like Frenching. Yeah, kind of, I guess.
Trying to help you. No, you're not because every time you talk about this stuff, I say, Yeah, kind of I guess
No, you're not because every time you talk about this stuff I say this guy's been out the game for a really long time French
Bro, how did that day go with that girl? We Frenched all night
French
I mean I get the fuck out of my
You guys didn't what do you say that's I think the last of my set that was around 15 or 16 years old somewhere around there.
Yeah, real fight.
So you get for interrupting you with things like that.
So I think that I think a girl will definitely give her her signals, whether it's game time or not.
And you know, depending on how often you want it,
you want that to happen is how fast you want to jump into that.
I think playing it, if you get the green light already,
there's no reason to hurry up into it.
It's actually smarter in your best interest
to take your time and to continue to get to another girl
because the more you do that,
the more control the situation that you will have.
It sounds to me like you have to learn how to enjoy
the process of the hunt.
Yes.
And then you take your time and the process of the hunt,
then you get the, you catch it.
And you get the full enjoyment of everything.
Let's, let's, you get the keenly.
Am I a good, am I a good pupil?
No, you are.
In fact, I don't even know if I would consider a pupil.
I think you would just, I think you would be a great
little partner to have.
Look, I think we would kill it.
We'd slay a lot of deer, bro.
No, I'm totally devoted.
Catch a lot of things.
Listen, he's like, sometimes he's like,
let's move along here.
My wife might listen to this, my wife might listen to this.
Yeah, you know, if a wingman,
that's a good little topic actually off of this.
So I'm a solo guy.
It would take somebody pretty unique for me to want to have a wingman.
And judging by Sal's, judging by Sal's and judging by Sal and Justin's responses, I would probably take
Sal with me. And that has nothing to do. I love it you guys
Girl see you're right pass that
You know what though just this be getting like hit on on the fridge
I love it because I don't even ever have to try
And I agree I think that's why I want to sleep with you shouldn't you shouldn't have to I. Yeah. It's just like a, no, no. It's like an, I agree.
I think that's fine.
You shouldn't, you shouldn't have to.
I think the more, the more guy tries,
the more obvious it is for a girl.
Exactly.
Girls are far more intelligent than men naturally.
So you have to, you have to go in with that respect.
If you go in thinking that even being a smart guy
like Sal or myself or Justin and you go in
thinking that you're Mr. Smarty, Pat's and Smarty, you better watch out because they're pretty fucking clever.
You know, I'm fully aware of how clever my girl is.
You know, I know how smart I am and I know she runs game all the time.
So she'd be running game on me all the time.
Well, bro, you know, we're so easy too.
Like, do you remember, you remember first going to a strip club when you turned like
18 with your boys?
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
And probably for the next two years after that, you don't learn your lesson.
For like two years ago in the strip clubs, there's always the dude that's hanging out
with you.
That thinks for sure the girls are into him.
Can I tell you guys a great story for that?
You know what I'm saying?
You know what I'm saying?
Can I tell you guys a great story?
I remember that guy.
Do you want to hear a great story?
I do.
So she likes me.
When I was 21, I won this competition with our company
where we go to Hawaii.
It's my first trip, 21 years old, making good money,
feel fit, good looking, I'm on top of the world.
And we go to this big strip club over there.
And I'm with all the VPs and divisional presidents
and everything like that.
And you know, I'm a confident young kid.
I don't need to go to strip clubs to pick up girls.
So I choose to sit at the bar by myself
and have a couple of drinks and just kind of watch the TV
that was at the bar while all the VPs
and everyone's throwing all their money at the thing.
And I'm just like, I ain't doing that.
I'll pull some girl from here.
I'll go get a girl from a club later on with that.
But I was with all the bosses, so I was there. And I'm sitting there for about 10 minutes. And by far,
the hottest stripper in the club walks up to me. And she sits down right next to me. She
goes, what's a young, good looking guy like you doing all by yourself? And I look over
and like thinking I'm all smooth, right? And I look at her and I go, well, I've been waiting
for a good looking girl like you to come over and talk to me. And she sits down. She
gets all club. And she goes, oh, God, you're so cute.
What are you doing?
She starts asking all these questions.
She's broken your ego.
She's stroking me, right?
She's stroking my ego right now.
She's stroking me.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
So she's telling me, she's telling me all this and I'm just like, yeah, yeah, and I'm talking
to her.
We've been talking for a while now.
And I go, like, are you off?
Are you working? Let's get out of here. Let's get out of this place. And she go like, are you off? Are you working?
Let's get out of here.
Let's get out of this place.
And she's like, no, no, I get to stay til probably later.
And I'm like, well, when you go on, she's like, no, I don't have to go on right now.
I can go on whenever I want.
She goes, you know, as long as I'm sitting here talking to you and so that I don't have
to go anywhere.
I'm going to pay for a date for you.
So I'm like, I'm like, okay, cool.
Whatever.
So what time you get off?
She's like, I'll be off by like midnight tonight.
And I go, okay.
She goes, hey, let's do some shots. I'm like, fuck yeah. You know, girls sit at a bar, stripper. As you take some shots off she's like, oh, I'll be off by like midnight tonight and I go okay. She goes hey Let's do some shots. I'm like fuck yeah, you know girls sit at a bar stripper as you take some shots
You're like I'm thinking myself this is going great. I can see this coming a mile right now. Okay. Well remember I'm 21
Result me this is this is before I was Obi-Wan, but before I was Yoda
This is me this is when what's his face is traded when I have the blinders on right now.
I'm swinging at the fucking ball and I can't I don't know how to use the force yet.
Are you serious?
You called Luke Skywalker.
What's his face?
He's just disowned you as a friend.
All right.
Continue.
So I'm sitting here, right?
And I'm we start taking shots, right?
And she's like, she's fucking getting me wasted because she's like, she's wearing, she's wearing a shot. We start taking shots right and she's like she's fucking getting me wasted because she's like she's or she's or a shot
We're taking shots and I'm like dude this and you're doing like she's like a little she's probably a hundred twenty pounds wet
Dude blonde hair blue eyes. He's giving a water. Oh, so we're taking these shots one after another
And I'm starting to get hand on to him but bro. I'm getting I'm getting smashed. I'm gonna smash this girl tonight for sure
I'm all excited right in the bag. Oh, I excited. Yeah, it's in the bag for sure.
Well, finally, I'm like, well, the guys are all even, right?
So they're all taking it off and I'm like, hey, we're out of here.
I'm like, oh, I'll catch up to you guys.
I'll take a cab.
And I'm like, okay, it's time to wrap this thing up, dude.
It's getting late and shit, I've been with her for a long time.
I'm wasted right now and weeks changed.
The phone number is everything.
Everything's good to go.
I'm ready.
Green light, tell her what hotel I'm at,
and where we're going.
And I asked the bartender to close my tab out.
He slides me over my bill.
Just fucking $680.
Oh, what happened?
So I was paying for her to sit down and talk to me
this entire time.
And that's how, that's how we just had a date.
The shots were costing me, the shots were costing me over $50 a round to sit down and
talk to this stripper for this entire time.
Oh my God.
Yeah, I'm fucking pissed, bro.
I'm so, inside I'm so, but I got it, I'm still at this point.
And you didn't even get a lap, the most she did was rub my thigh and my inside of my
leg and stuff like that.
She closed you so hard.
She closed me. way hard, bro.
And I let me tell you, I did not fuck it later
on that night.
I'll tell you that right now.
That's for sure.
And at that point, it dawned on me,
what an idiot I was.
And at that point, I was trying to stay face
and be like, okay, I can't act all pissed about the bill.
So I don't say to him, it just like, no big deal, right?
You know, I don't be do sign off the $700 fucking shot.
I meant to do that.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
No big deal.
I fucking pay for $700 with a shot all the time.
You know, maybe you'll fuck me now.
Yeah.
So I signed the bill and tell her, while I get back to hotel room, you know, to
hit me up later on when you get off
and I'm walking out, I know she's not gonna fucking call me
or anything like that.
And, you know, we text a couple times
and nothing ever happened and I was so fucking pissed,
lesson learned right there, dude.
Wow.
Yeah, if you're at a strip club and a chick asks you
to take shots, say, and that just goes to show you,
they're freaking smart, dude.
And we're dumb.
Yeah, it's just the way it is. I think that was the best part about it was that I thought I was quite
the closer back then and I thought I was I was the one real doing the
was here with your yeah I got work to bad yeah oh man I guess that concludes
our our episode I don't know what this is I don't know but the balls do it
we call yeah don't buy shots for strippers. Yeah, there it is done
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