Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 1110: Doug Bopst- From Felony to Fitness to Free

Episode Date: September 2, 2019

In this episode, Sal, Adam and Justin have an honest and heartfelt conversation with Doug Bopst. Incarcerated at 20, Doug has since been able to overcome self-destructive behavior and self-doubt by ta...king ownership of his life. How Doug reached out to Mind Pump. (2:42) “How I used drugs to escape my own life.” (4:25) What was his relationship like with his parents and siblings growing up? (8:54) The moment he knew he was going to be dead or rot in jail. (11:06) The first time he felt someone gave him unconditional love. His journey from ‘victim to victor’ while in jail. (18:45) What is the ‘workout culture’ like in prison? (24:33) How he used his pain and turned it into motivation. (26:28) The moment he decided to use fitness to change other people’s lives. (28:52) His transition from bitterness to spirituality. (34:07) His relationship with fitness and how he found his current significant other. (39:24) What was his craziest drug story? (43:12) “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” (45:17) The role of having a spiritual practice and the impact it had on his purpose in life. (48:34) What are his current business ventures? (53:54) What has been the scariest experience of public speaking so far? (55:17) Why you MUST never forgot where you came from. (56:32) Why exercise and nutrition of two of the most important tools we have to battle drug addiction. (58:28) His biggest insecurities surrounding relationships. (1:00:58) Featured Guest/People Mentioned  Doug Bopst (@doug_bopst)  Instagram Doug Bopst - Amazon.com Website Tom Bilyeu (@tombilyeu)  Instagram Joe DeFranco (@defrancosgym)  Instagram Rich Roll (@richroll)  Instagram Related Links/Products Mentioned MAPS OCR Launch Promotion: Discount code “OCR30” at checkout Former Drug Addict Explains How to Completely Turn Your Life Around | Doug Bopst on Impact Theory Jail Saved His Life: Doug Bopst | Rich Roll Podcast Encyclopedia of modern bodybuilding - Book by Arnold Schwarzenegger  

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, we get a lot of people that reach out to us want to go down the show and nine out of 10 times, we turned them down, but this guy's story intrigued us a little bit. He's been on a couple of podcasts that are good friends of ours, both Rich Roll and Tom Billu, and I thought he had a really good story too. Yeah, and so, you know, I got on the phone with him
Starting point is 00:00:41 before we did, you know, decided to have him on the show and I talked to him, And his story was compelling. I think a lot of you are going to relate to his experiences through fitness. This guy had a real rough childhood, eventually went to prison for drugs and fitness kind of turned his life around. And he's a very vulnerable, honest individual. I enjoyed doing this interview. I think you'll like it as well. Now, before we start this episode, I want to remind everybody that this is the final hours
Starting point is 00:01:16 for the Maps OCR program launch. Okay, so you only have a few hours left for the $30 off discount code and the free t-shirt that's coming with the launch So here's what you do if you want maps OCR and I remember maps OCR is the program designed to get you ready To complete or do an obstacle course race or just get fit like somebody that would do an obstacle course race There's a lot of stamina implemented endurance strength that would do an obstacle course rate. So there's a lot of stamina implemented endurance, strength, grip work.
Starting point is 00:01:46 There's daily toughening exercises. It's our most different and one of the funnest exercises that we've ever written. And we co-wrote it with OCR Champion Amelia Boone. So it's very, very valuable. Here's what you do to get the $30 off. Go to mapsocr.com and use the discount code OCR30, OCR30 for the $30 off and for the free t-shirt. So without any further ado, here we are talking to Doug Bobst. By the way, you can find them online
Starting point is 00:02:16 at DougBobst.com. That's DO, UG, B, O, P, S, T, .com. And you can also find them on Instagram at Doug underscore boapsed B.O.P. ST. He also wrote three books, the first one being from felony to fitness to free. The second book was The Heart of Recovery and his third book is Faith Family Fitness. So here we go. You have an interesting story Doug. How did you get in contact with us initially to get on the show? I think it was you that contacted our, our bar, was our media team? I reached out to Doug actually on Instagram.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Oh, I was just like, who would I pitch? Because what happened was when I got on impact theory, my buddy Clay, who has been listening to your guys' podcast for a while, he was like, you should try to get on my pump. And I was like, I know, it's just, and then when I saw DeFranco go on, and he, I've been following him, I was like was like, you should try to get on my pump. And I was like, I know, it's just, and then when I saw DeFranco go on, and he I've been following him, I was like,
Starting point is 00:03:07 wow, I should try to just see. And I just, and I looked at who you had on to see if it would like you to be a fit because I was just like, but, and I saw you had to hide other gas besides just like, you know, season trainers on. Sure, sure. So I saw like that you had other people on here
Starting point is 00:03:22 that I was like, hey, you know, it's worth a shot. Dude, my name's Doug, that's my end. Did you, is it because you haven't been a trainer very long, so you thought, oh, I wanna make sure I can provide value or? Yeah, because I mean, as far as, like, my, I mean, I know my stuff is a trainer, but like, as far as like exercise science and physiology
Starting point is 00:03:38 and kinesiology, like, you know, I'm not the most seasoned person, like, sure, so that's not so. Oh, we ain't gonna fuck with you with that stuff. No, we're not gonna answer. Yeah, when I said I was gonna fuck with you, I would never do that with trainer stuff. For us not fair. That would be, that would be bullying.
Starting point is 00:03:51 I'm not that good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so the tibial tuberosity, how did you see it? Yeah. No, we're not gonna go, no, so what typically what happens and maybe the audience should know this, is typically we'll get, we'll get a lot of requests to get on a podcast.
Starting point is 00:04:05 And nine out of 10 times we say no, and every once in a while, it looks interesting enough for one of us, usually me, to get on the phone with the person and just see if it would provide value for the audience or whatever. And your story was interesting. It was an interesting story. I would like for you to kind of get into it a little bit and then we'll ask you questions I guess as we go along because it was an interesting story about the whole your whole journey and why you're in fitness now in the first Well, you started doing drugs by the age of 14, is that right? Yeah, I mean my life was a in shambles man
Starting point is 00:04:39 I mean I was battling all kinds of insecurities and I mean, I was battling all kinds of insecurities and doubts and anxiety and depression. And what did it for me was I wanted to figure out how I could escape myself and whatever way I could. And when I started smoking pot, I felt like that escape come to life. And I felt like it numbed whatever fears I had, any kind of insecurities that I had had had about myself was like, wow, I can be myself and not worry about anything and then one hit led to the next and then Slowly but surely I developed a habit where I was doing it daily and then as we know like drugs aren't cheap So when you're 14 years old making you know five hours an hour washing dishes or doing whatever I was doing I had to figure out a way to
Starting point is 00:05:20 Support my habits so that was for me selling and I found a way to sell and be able to smoke for free. And then, you know, it got to the point where through high school I was picked on. I was bullied a lot. I was often told like I had Down syndrome because I was quite a bit heavier than I am now. And it just made my insecurities and depression and my self-esteem so much worse that my addiction to the pot grew to the point where I couldn't even smoke to get high anymore. By the time I graduated high school, I was smoking like a quarter ounce a pot a day,
Starting point is 00:05:51 just ripping bong hits. Wow, wow. And did you have any friends during this period that you could kind of work, you know, confide in or were you feeling lonely and just getting picked on? I mean, I had my group of friends, but I was always like the laughing stock, right? I was always like the scapegoat, the kid who got picked, I had my group of friends, but I was always like the laughing stock, right? I was always like the scapegoat,
Starting point is 00:06:07 the kid who got picked on out of my group of friends. So I mean, I had a friend or two I could confide in, but again, it was like, I was so unhappy with myself that it didn't really matter because my group in a broken home, my parents were divorced, and you know, through that I developed all these insecurities and was playing the victim mentality.
Starting point is 00:06:25 It was just like, you know, why me, why is this happening to me, why my parents divorced, why am I getting picked on? You only child or yet siblings? I had siblings too, but we were all kind of in the thick of it. And I think at the end of the day, what happened was, I was the oldest, so when they got divorced, I was five.
Starting point is 00:06:43 And so I just happened to be the one who like saw a lot of the stuff happening because my brothers, we're all closer in age, but I was like the one who just started experiment and was shit really early. Did you live with your mom? Did your dad come out of your life at this point where they both still pretty involved?
Starting point is 00:06:58 I mean, they were both pretty involved. I mean, we split time. It was weird though because they were constantly fighting for custody over us as we grew up Which I'm sure happens obviously a lot with the worst families and So they were both pretty involved I would say I as the more I smoked I didn't my relationship with my parents got more strained because they were like, you know Why are you doing this? You're you know? Why are you smoking pot? Why are you doing this instead of looking at? You know
Starting point is 00:07:24 They they looked at the fact that I was doing it versus like the why. I mean, I just had a lot of crap going on inside of me that I never wanted to deal with. And as a teenager, it's obviously hard. And then when I graduated high school, I started like snorting cocaine. And that really, like I've had anxiety my whole life
Starting point is 00:07:44 and anxiety and cocaine go about as well together is a kid trying to lose weight and eatin' pizza everyday. It just doesn't work. And so it made you feel worse, but you kept doin' it? I kept doin' it because it was like this adrenaline rush and I was trying to fit in with everybody. I was trying to be that quote unquote cool kid, selling drugs doing drugs and
Starting point is 00:08:06 I just kept doing it because I didn't want to lose friends. I knew if I stopped and I would lose friends Cuz you guys connected over the drugs. Yeah, that was like our that was like our common You know thing that we had going on together was that we would do drugs together We party together and we'd sell drugs and it was almost like I was more addicted to that than anything else. Now were you also using at this time any other substances to numb yourself food, for example? I mean, yeah, I was, you know, kind of.
Starting point is 00:08:33 I mean, it was just for me, I ate like crap, and I didn't really think of it like that. I just was like, that's what I knew to eat was I would eat like a cheese steak and pizza for lunch because I was stone, that would be like the cool thing to do is we would all get food with our friends. It wasn't like, oh my god, I'm so stressed, I knew to eat was I would eat like a cheese steak and pizza for lunch because I was stone that would be like the cool thing to do is we would all get food with our friends. It wasn't like, oh my God, I'm so stressed, I'm gonna eat. You weren't aware of it,
Starting point is 00:08:50 but it was, you had a bad diet along with it. Yeah. Something that I didn't hear in any of your interviews, like not a lot of people really dove into your childhood and your parents and your brothers, or your, all brothers, is that what it is? All brothers. So what's your relationship like with both your parents
Starting point is 00:09:06 and then your siblings today? So today it's much better than what it used to be. I mean before, if you'd asked me like seven or eight years ago, if I, what my relationship was like, I would have told you a different story. My mom and I had a strange relationship. Most of what while was growing up because she really took it the hardest
Starting point is 00:09:22 when I was going through all my stuff. And my dad, like, my dad was just really, and I never saw eye to eye. There was a lot of tension between us always. And he's unfortunately got a problem with not telling the truth. And he's never really come around to like, you know, say he's sorry or anything.
Starting point is 00:09:40 What do you mean by that? Explain that to me. Like, how did he lie to you growing up? Or just saying that things would be done that weren't done, saying he'd come to sporting events that weren't done, saying he would have money, didn't have money. And so this created a lot of insecurities. And even today, when I share my story and I'm like,
Starting point is 00:09:55 hey, I was homeless, I was on the streets, like I didn't have a place to go. He was like, you weren't homeless. And I'm like, oh, I was, because you kicked me out of your house. So technically, as much as I'm not blaming you, I'm just saying, I chose not to follow rules in your house. So therefore, I'd never placed a go. And with him,
Starting point is 00:10:13 was this because of the drug use that kicked you out? It was because of drug use. And it was also because I didn't get along with my stepmom and it got to a point where he had to choose between me and her and he chose her. And I was in the best kid growing up. I mean, I was a menace, but my dad just, I just then really felt like authentically loved, I guess.
Starting point is 00:10:32 And even today, he just has, like, if I sit and have a conversation with him, like you never get the truth out of him as far as what's a color shoes he's wearing. So it's just, the more I've grown, it's just been hard for me to really like put the time in to align with it. My mom and I have an awesome relationship.
Starting point is 00:10:44 Now I just walked her down the aisle at her wedding last week. My brothers and I have definitely grown. There was a time where I owed two of my brothers 10,000 hours because of money they had lent me for drugs. And I thought that relationship was forever gonna be over. You know, but now like so much better than what it used to be. You paying back? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:03 Oh, good deal. Of course. Good deal. OK, so take us to the story that you told me when I talked to you over the phone, how you got into fitness and how that now is what you do. Yeah, I mean, so my life really turned around on Sync with A My of 2008 when I was riding around with a couple
Starting point is 00:11:23 of my friends who could pick up some oxy cotton. I mean, at this point, after I got involved with cocaine, I had looked for anything else to numb the pain, and that thing was oxy cotton. Five milligram per cassette turned into me putting three, four hundred milligrams of oxy at my nose every single day. And Sync Good A My of 2008, we were in the car, I see these lights behind me flashing as the cops. I had a busted headlight and I just felt like my heart sink into the pit of my stomach and I knew my life was over at that point. Like I literally thought, fuck, my life is over.
Starting point is 00:11:57 And I was scared, I started crying. Why did you think that you have drugs in the car? Yeah, I mean, I had a half a pound of pot in my car, $2,000 in cash. And when they pulled me over, they, you know, they, they, they, they, they have me rolled on the window, my friend in the back seat had an open container of alcohol, which I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:12:15 Cops smelled it. He gave the cop a hard time. One thing later than I actually searched my car, found the pot, found the, found the money, found a scale through me in the back of a cop car. And then my life, like, that's when I really had that feeling that I knew I was either gonna be dead or rot in jail, because I just, how old are you right here?
Starting point is 00:12:33 I'm 20. You're not very bright. No, yeah. I mean, all those things you're driving around when at the same time? Yeah, it was a very dumb decision, and then when the cops, the cops actually asked me if they could search my car and I said, yes, just show you how bright I was.
Starting point is 00:12:48 So it's almost like you wanted to get caught or in trouble. Yeah, it was weird. Somebody else, I virtual actually, when he was interviewing me, said the same thing, he's like, I feel like you wanted to get caught for some reason. Yeah, I mean, just that's kind of like drug dealer 101, you don't drive around doing,
Starting point is 00:13:01 breaking the law like nine times in your vehicle when you got, you're already doing something illegal, which is drug dealing, you know, so that's already bad enough. And then to be doing like five other things in your vehicle that could get you caught, it's just like, it's almost like you wanted to get in trouble. Yeah. And I ended up going to court a couple months later. And I was, because I was charged with, when I got arrested, they charged me with a felony and then the distribute marijuana.
Starting point is 00:13:26 And when I got to court, the judge, he was like, I have every reason to sentence you to jail right now. Right. And he was like, I'm convicting you with a felony. He's like, I'm gonna sentence you to five years, suspend everything but 90 days. So I mean, I had to do the 90 day bit in jail. Five years probation 200 hours community service, all kinds of drug classes and fines, but he's like, Doug, if you can put everything without messing up, I'll take
Starting point is 00:13:54 the felony off your record. And at that point, like I said, I was 20 years old, but I didn't think I was gonna live to see my 25th birthday. And I reported the jail about a week after my 21st birthday and detox cold turkey of oxy because I had that. Oh, wow. For three weeks. Now how bad was your oxy? How much were you doing?
Starting point is 00:14:13 How bad was this addiction up until this pull? If you're already on oxy, you're already fucking, that's the highest level of opiate, like pretty much, other than like fucking heroin, right? So you're doing basically pill-formed heroin and that's got to be the most... I mean, I've been addicted to Vicodin, I've talked to it on the show and I think the peak I got to was like 10 Vicodin in a day, which was a nightmare to come off of. I can't imagine what it was like coming off of OXies. It's a terrible man.
Starting point is 00:14:43 I felt like you're trying to cross your own scan. It felt like you had the flu for like three weeks, like literally like three weeks. And it was awful. I mean, and then like, you know, you're like, you know, shit, uncontrollable, you're puking all that stuff. Cause that was,
Starting point is 00:14:58 shakes as I cold sweats. Cause I was doing like three, four hundred milligrams. The day before, the day I went into jail, I literally snorted like three 80 80 milligrams of oxypils. And then went right to jail. I was like, well, this is it, like, bomboyage, right? And then, and then like, then I detox, and I'm like, on my last week of detox,
Starting point is 00:15:17 and I just got into this like, common area, because when you get into jail, they book you, and you're in like this, these pods, and they figure out where you're gonna actually stay. And I get into my where I'm actually gonna stay and my soon to be cellmate was the dude who changed my life. Was the guy who was a more fit version of Brad Pitt from Fight Club, kind of looked like Sal a little bit too.
Starting point is 00:15:36 You know? That way, how can he look like Brad Pitt? That doesn't make any sense. I'm kidding. But he was doing all these these pushups and pullups and like climbing the rails. Now are you intimidated? Are you walking in?
Starting point is 00:15:50 You see a buff dude in prison. You know all the stereotypes about, oh yeah. I was really scared. I was honestly scared about that. Yeah, where you like this dude's gonna try to have sex with me. Like I don't know what's gonna happen. Like are these thoughts that are going through your mind?
Starting point is 00:16:04 Not with him, but I did have those thoughts. Like my literally like, I thought I was gonna get have rape beat up because I was like the goofy, you know, scared, uncoordinated kid. They like those guys. Yeah. I said that real scary. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:22 Well the judge said to me, he's like, if I see you in my freaking courtroom again, he was like, I'm sending you, you're gonna be in a cell with Bubba and like the big, in the big, he actually said that. Yeah, and he was like, he was the last four. And 10 seconds and I was like, yeah, you're right.
Starting point is 00:16:35 So when I was in jail, I was scared and we just started, we played Scrabble, we were playing some Scrabble and. So he was cool to you right off the gas. He was super cool, which was weird because I totally like, opposite of what I thought was gonna happen. He's like, what the fuck are you doing in here, homes? And I was like, I got busted with weed, he's like, weed.
Starting point is 00:16:54 He's like, what'd you do? And he's like, you don't ask people what you did in jail. Like, you know, that's like the thing. Really? Did you ever find out what he did? Yeah, he told me. He had like, it was just like a bunch of like, burglaries and he had like, for drugs, right?
Starting point is 00:17:05 But he had like, a hundred felonies on his record just from like getting caught from like, Oh wow. Yeah, and it was, it was ironically, he had just done 10 years in PA and then was there for a detainer in the county I was in. And then he, I remember him looking at me and he was like, you're gonna start working out with me
Starting point is 00:17:21 when your detox is over and I was like, what? Like I'd never formally really exercise. I had a couple sessions with a trainer back in the day. Like my dad forced me to when I was 12 because I was like overweight and then I played football like one year before. I decided that, you know, 58 uncordenated scaric it doesn't belong at all offensive guard.
Starting point is 00:17:41 Talked to it really bad position for you. Yeah, no. No. And I remember like one night, I just finally decided to give it a try and remember getting down a duel. Now how long was the detox process? Three weeks. So three weeks your puke and feeling like shit. Oh man.
Starting point is 00:17:58 Now is he hammering you about working out this point like, hey man, seems you feel better, you're gonna work out. Yeah, he just kept drilling me and drilling me and drilling me with it. Now, were you intimidated to start working out by him? Oh, I was so scared. So you're like, I need to work out cause I'm like, When you're in jail and you're going through the withdrawal zone, they don't do anything for you,
Starting point is 00:18:13 you just have to, like what happens. Well, what happened was, I had a prescriptionist of box zone to take with me in there, but because, I mean, again, the brightness of me, you can't take an arctic with you in jail, so they wouldn't let me bring it in. I could have it when I, again, the brightness of me, you can't take an narcotic with you in jail, so they wouldn't let me bring it in. I could have it when I got out, which did me no good. And they gave me stuff for tremors, they gave me stuff for sleep, but nothing like, what
Starting point is 00:18:35 nothing helped, because I was so used to like just being like tranquilized. Yeah, but I hear some night well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're gonna do it, man. Wow. Okay, so you're coming out of the detox, and then you just, what made you decide I'm gonna do with this guy says,
Starting point is 00:18:49 is it because I'm scared of him, or is it because you're like, I need to do something or combination of the two? Um, I think it was just like, just him just constantly being that guy who never quit on me. Even though like the first time he asked me, I said no, and he just kept going and going and it was more like that
Starting point is 00:19:06 Unconditional love that I felt from him for some reason like I just interesting it was weird It was it was like because I guess because of my relationship with my dad It was like the first time I felt that somebody had really Giving me unconditional like love like dude. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you You're gonna get out from me. Yeah, yeah, and it was and then I saw him and I saw how ripped he was. And it was something I always wanted, but I never had. Like, I wanted abs, I wanted arms, I wanted this, I wanted that, but I never had it
Starting point is 00:19:32 because I was so like in my eyes, like far off in the health world, that there was like, there's no freaking way it's gonna happen. I think a lot of people fall into that trap, like I'm never gonna get there, I'm never gonna get there, but if you never start, you're definitely never getting there. So, I just knew I was like, you know what? Like, what do I have to lose?
Starting point is 00:19:46 And then when I went to do a push-up, and I couldn't, I was shocked. I was like, fuck. And I was like, dude, why can't I do a push-up? He's like, because you're fucking fat. I was like, what? And he was like, you're fat. And I'm like, I know, but he's like,
Starting point is 00:20:04 but you're not nice about it. like, I know, but he's like, but you're not nice about it. Yeah, I know. And I was like, at that moment, I was like, what the hell have I let myself come to? I can't even do a frickin' push up. I can't do one for my knees. I can barely look up and down the steps without getting out of breath.
Starting point is 00:20:18 I was like, man, I gotta do something. And him, he was just like, I'm like, are you sure you're gonna stay committed to me? Because I had some trust issues with stuff with my family that I didn't, I thought he would like do it for a few days and stop and then I'd be like completely like deflated, you know, and he was on me every day and there and like put me on a little meal plan, which is tough in there because like, how do you do a meal plan in prison? Yeah, what does that even look like?
Starting point is 00:20:39 Uh, can't it tune in a slice of bread? No, skip the mashed potatoes. Yeah, skip the mashed potatoes, skip like mashed potatoes, skip whatever pasta we got, no bread, no like noodles and noodles, none of the common stuff on commentary, like I wasn't allowed to get, except for like, I think we had like two, yeah, we got packets of tuna, but he was like, if I catch you cheating when you're diet,
Starting point is 00:20:58 he's like, I'm punching you in the stomach. Wait, I think we're stumbling upon it, very effective, and you have a effective diet plan. Punch me to this. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? You get the wrong thing, you get your ass kicked. So you were intimidated into eating, like, you're like, fuck, I better do this,
Starting point is 00:21:15 so I'm gonna get my ass kicked. Seriously. Wow. Well, that, because then there was like one night, like later on where I cheated, and I ate like a bowl of ramen noodles. And he was like, all right, Doug, you're running three miles or I'm punching you, you take your pick.
Starting point is 00:21:28 And I'm like, uh, uh, but you didn't catch me, somebody else caught me. He's like, he's like, Doug, I swear to God. He's like, I'm gonna break your ribs. And I'm like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, damn. Wow. Okay, so, so, so what's it look like now? You're doing all this stuff,
Starting point is 00:21:42 you're staying super consistent because you're scared. Yeah, so like when ended up happening was after that one night I started, it motivated me to at least give it a shot. And I was like, what else do I have to lose in here? And he would really like change, I think, for me, was how he had me shift my mindset of the victim to the victor mentality.
Starting point is 00:22:04 Because obviously we were so mates who he was asking about my story and how I got there and I was blaming everybody, I was blaming my parents, I was blaming my family, I was blaming my friends, blaming this, blaming that. Everybody else was fault. Right? And he was like, Doug, stop being a fucking bitch.
Starting point is 00:22:18 And I was just like, what? Like he was like, he can be a man or he can be a bitch. And this was like a lesson that I still use today. And with anything I struggle with, man, bitch, man, bitch, what are you gonna be? And it's like, you can be a man and take responsibility for your problem. Look at yourself in the mirror and say,
Starting point is 00:22:31 you know what, it's up to you to make decisions to change. You got yourself here. I don't care how many people did you wrong? You're here because you're here. Or you can be a bitch like most people crying the corner, say, well, it's me and not take responsibility. And that for me was say, well, it's me and not take responsibility.
Starting point is 00:22:45 And that for me was like, fuck, he's right. Did you, was this the first time you ever felt empowered? Yeah, because I was like, wow, like I have the power to change. And I didn't really believe it, but I had to almost have that fake faith, that blind faith, because I knew if I didn't believe it, I get nowhere.
Starting point is 00:23:02 I knew I just had to almost like not fake it to you make, I don't know if that's the right word, but I literally had to like, force myself into it. And so I just took a day by day. I said I would do one day at a time. In the mornings, I would either walk or run, depending on the day, depending on where I was at in my journey. So I started of course with just like walking laps. And then they give you access to outside unlimited,
Starting point is 00:23:23 or is it? No, it's all indoors in this common area. You can walk around the tables and stuff inside. So you're literally just walking in circles inside. Yeah, we'd have a deck of cards, and I would literally count how many laps. What's a deck of cards? With the deck of cards.
Starting point is 00:23:35 And then that slowly turned into me running, like run walk. So I would do that for about an hour, and then at night was like calisthenics, so one night was like push up day, where I would do like, I don't know, it was like five sets of like three push up. I was something like where we would work our way up to be,
Starting point is 00:23:49 oh my whole goal was to be able to do a set of 10 push ups when I got out of jail. And so like one night we would work on like push where we would do like, you know, the pull ups or push ups and then like dips off the chairs and stuff. And then like the next day we like more conditioning was like jumping jacks and like abs and stuff. So no access to any weights or anything?
Starting point is 00:24:06 Nothing. No, it's just all body weight stuff. All body weight stuff. And then we would do some stuff where we'd fill like water bags and do curls and stuff and do some shadow boxing. But it honestly taught me a lot that you really like, I mean, you can get a great workout
Starting point is 00:24:23 with just your body weight. I mean, I've even used, just by my if it's like snowing I don't I can't get to the gym. I'll jump there. I'm gonna do 500 push-ups, you know What's the workout culture like in prison? Because I know that that's from what I've heard and read that there's a There's a workout culture within there not everybody But there's like a segment of people that that's that's what that's how they So they spend their time that's how they rehab themselves or that's how they spend their time. That's how they rehab themselves or that's just how they pass the time.
Starting point is 00:24:49 Was there a workout culture in there? I wouldn't say it's a culture. People definitely did some stuff. I mean, where I was at, there was no gym. So, like, people, you would see people doing different types of push-ups and sit-ups and ab work, but where I was at, like, most people weren't working out, which was kind of weird because they would all kind of, they all kind of cheered me on because they saw me who was like this degenerate who walked in when I first, like, day one, they're like, what's a good zombie? Could barely, like, keep up with, like, even like my daily habits of, like, making my
Starting point is 00:25:18 bed, like, making it to breakfast. Like, that's the half pound weed guy. Nobody was harassing you as your first kid. Yeah, did you have, did you have like, like, a cat calls or anything? Did you have like a shitty nickname? No, I mean, not really. I mean, people like, they just kind of felt sorry for me.
Starting point is 00:25:32 It's like, this kid is not belong in jail. Like, what's he doing here? And it was cool. So you're like the Rudy of prison, they all wanted you. Yeah. Oh, it was. I was a little like the Rudy, they were all like cheering me on to make,
Starting point is 00:25:44 because they're like, there's no to make, because they're like, there's no way this guy, they probably looked at me like, there's no way that guy's making it out of here. Like, do you think most of them were drug offenders if you had to guess? I mean, a lot, yeah, or a lot,
Starting point is 00:25:54 we're using drugs that cause some sort of offense, whether it was a robbery or burglary. Some, obviously, there's a lot of assaults in there. So a lot of like stuff in there for like traffic, like suspended license, suspended registration, stuff like that where people like, we're just in there for like- Just repeat offenses.
Starting point is 00:26:11 Yeah. So it wasn't like all your murder is rapist and all that. There was a guy in there who had like an armed robbery charges like, I mean, he was facing like, I forget like 12 years or something. But you know, it depends on like your crimes. I think they organize you by your crime
Starting point is 00:26:24 on where you go. How long, how much time did you end up spending in there doing this? 72 days, so my sentence was 90 days. I was backing up five years if I made any mistakes. I would go back for five, but I got good behavior, and then I got a job, and they're wiping down tables that took time off my sentence, too.
Starting point is 00:26:42 But I didn't wanna leave when I left. I was like crying when I left jail. Oh wow, now why? Because I was leaving my sentence too. But I didn't wanna leave when I left. I was like crying when I left jail. Oh wow, now why? Because I was leaving my cellmate. It was weird. I don't know if it was a codependency thing or what, but I was like, how am I gonna make it now without the film syndrome, right?
Starting point is 00:26:56 Like how am I gonna make it? Like I felt like my life was forever changed because of this dude not giving up on me and holding me to my feet to the fire. The irony. Well, the irony of it all. It sounds like the first guy that ever kind of believed in you or cared.
Starting point is 00:27:12 Sounds like you. Yeah, and I think I just didn't want to let him down. So he was like, I was like, how am I going to repay? Because at the end when my mindset started to shift, I remember my dad and my brothers came to visit me like towards the tail end of my sentence and my dad was always like a yeller. And we were in the visitor's room and he's like yelling at me. He's like, you're gonna go to rehab.
Starting point is 00:27:28 Like fuck rehab, I found fitness. And he was like, you're gonna rehab. And I'm like, dude, why? I was like, I'm in jail. Like, why are you yelling at? Like, how much worse can my life freaking get? Like, I'm in jail. I just remember, I remember hanging up the phone.
Starting point is 00:27:40 And this was like a big turning point, walking into my cell and looking at Eric and I was like, it's fucking workout. And at that point, I learned to use my pain and turn it into motivation because I knew that I had all this stuff built inside of me that was just going to sit there. And I either had the choice to let it sit there and rot the fuck out of my body or I could recycle it in positive ways because that energy just stays there unless you journal it out or get however you do it to get it out of your body I believe you got to do it in a more positive way and like that's when I started like learning that
Starting point is 00:28:12 Like I can use all this stuff in the in a healthier way and it changed things for me and when I when I left I Told myself I was like how can I repay you? Because I just don't fuck up and pay it forward and He gave me a workout plan that I still have framed in my place so I never forget where I came from. I bought, like, the soon as I got to J.I.
Starting point is 00:28:30 I bought like the Encyclopedia Bodybuilding by Arnold. Oh, yeah. And I've read that. I've read that like 17 times. And they started getting like muscle and fitness and men's hell. It's just stuff that I just knew, like, what help?
Starting point is 00:28:42 Because I didn't know everything. I mean, he knew enough, but I didn't, I mean, I was so fresh in the game, I was just trying to figure out like how it even get started with everything. Did you decide that you were gonna work in fitness when you came out? No, I was literally, because of my,
Starting point is 00:28:57 the stipulations of pro-ampo probation, you have to have a job within a certain amount of time. So I like literally, I didn't think I was gonna be a trainer because I was just like, you know, I didn't I didn't think I was gonna be a trainer because I was just like You know, I didn't I didn't really know that I was gonna want to do that But I got a job at a liquor store ironically like a few months later It's a few months to get a job. It sounds like a bad idea. I mean I think honestly It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be I never had a drinking problem For me like I mean I still drink every once in a while now and I never have an issue with it
Starting point is 00:29:23 But it was just more like why I'm drinking. It's like, I always say why. If I'm drinking because I'm socially out with a friend trying to have a good time, or I'm wanting, you know, out of my girlfriend, or whatever it is, versus like, oh, I'm super stressed. I'm just gonna, you know, put down a bottle of wine. Yeah, put down a bottle of wine.
Starting point is 00:29:39 You're like, good sign you have a problem when you're drinking by yourself. Now, how hard was it though to get a job? That had to be difficult, it was really, I mean, I'd quite the resume before I got in a jail, I had 21 jobs by the time I was 21. Wow. Yeah, because I would work for a few weeks
Starting point is 00:29:52 and then I'd quick, so I was like, oh, I can make like seven dollars an hour like, you know, drying cars or I can just sell like a pound of pot. I dated a girl like that one time. Did you? Yeah, she skipped around from job to job all the time and kept telling me, well, this one pays me a dollar more. I'm just like is you know, some guy like me would get an inter or get an at resume like that I would tell you to kick rocks cuz I'm like you're not committed to anybody fucking 21 years 21 years old
Starting point is 00:30:13 You've had 21 jobs. I know I know it was horrible, right? And that was obviously I was not proud of it and then so then I would always hit the check-up box Have you ever been convicted of a felony? Yes, you know? And then like oh how many jobs you have my god 21? They're like what's the longest you ever been convicted of a felony? Yes, you know? Yeah. And then they're like, oh, how many jobs do you have? My God, 21. They're like, what's the longest you ever made? I'm like, I got like two months. I'm like, oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:30:29 Next. And I just, I got this job at this liquor store. And I worked my ass off. I never, I never called out. I was always early, I always stayed late. I worked my way up to being the assistant manager. And then it got to a point, like after it was about, I was there about a year.
Starting point is 00:30:43 So this is probably 2000, 2009, was like I had a jail at the end of 2008. I decided I was like wow, like I'd really started to transform my body. I'd lost like 50 pounds at this point by working out, reading stuff from muscle and fitness, reading the stuff from Arnold, changing completely, changing my nutrition to the point
Starting point is 00:31:04 where I was now focusing more on eating healthier foods like all day every day and decided that I wanted to help other people use fitness to change their lives. So I became and ended up wanting to become a trainer back in 2000. The end of 2010 was when I really like made the decision to do it.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Well, where did you go from there? Did you end up working for a gym? Yeah, so what ended up happening was, I was still working at the liquor store because I swore to myself that I wasn't leaving without giving notice, because I'd never done that before. And I found a job at this local wellness that they're called the Mac, the Maryland Athletic Club.
Starting point is 00:31:39 And I remember going in there, getting interviewed, and I was like, I sold them on the spot with just like how fitness saved my life. Oh, you told him your story. Why didn't tell him everything? I just told him how much weight I'd lost and all that. And then she's like, all right, you're high. Can you start like next week?
Starting point is 00:31:53 I was like, yeah, but there's something you have to know. Like I'm a convicted felon. And she was like, what? And I'm like, yeah, I mean, and she's like, so she like, ask me some more questions about what happened. I was like, listen, I'll pee in a cup every fricking day. I was like, I'll do whatever it takes.
Starting point is 00:32:08 I'll never miss a day. I won't let you down. Just please just give me a chance. I was like, please. And after like a few weeks of them going to HR and talking to different people in the club, I was given a chance. They gave me a chance.
Starting point is 00:32:18 And I remember jumping up and down. I was with my grandparents at the time. And I just felt like I could take that torch that Eric had given me and pass it on and help other people with the gifts I had been given about how to like internally change themselves from the inside out with fitness. And I became a trainer back in 2011.
Starting point is 00:32:36 I got certified to the NSCA in April 2011. And my first year as a trainer, I like, I broke all kinds of training records as far as revenue. Did you really? I was like the highest grossing trainer out of like 75 trainers in the whole company. That was cool. Yeah, and it's not like, I don't say that to brag,
Starting point is 00:32:53 I say because I just knew that like I was on the right path. Like I literally like, You felt just was it the passion where you just talking about it all the time. I could relate with people really well. Easily because I'd be like, they would be like, because most people, when they look at trainers, a lot of times they're like, oh, you've been fit your whole life or Easily, because I'd be like, they would be like, because most people, when they look at trainers a lot of times,
Starting point is 00:33:06 they're like, oh, you've been fit your whole life, or even this, you've been that, that's like one of the stigmas. And I would ask people questions, I'd be like, you know, so like, what are you trying to do? And I'm like, I wanna lose weight. I'm like, oh, why do you wanna lose weight? Like, I wanna feel better myself,
Starting point is 00:33:18 I'm like, well, why? And they're like, what do you feel? And I'm like, oh, I feel like insecure, I'm like, oh, I felt that way too. Like, and then I would just be able to like hook them like that, and then talk to them and relate to them. And they I was like, oh, I felt that way too. And then I would just be able to hook them like that and then talk to them and relate to them. And they'd be like, oh, like, really? And I'm like, yeah, you want to meet it.
Starting point is 00:33:30 If you need any help reaching your goals, let me know. And I was really passive about it. I wasn't aggressive. And most people just kind of liked, I was like, this regular dude. Like, I wasn't like anything special, but I just went over the top of my clients. I really cared about them.
Starting point is 00:33:43 I really wanted them to see results. I didn't tell them, I didn't do anything that, like I didn't know how to do. And I just got really passionate about training, people and helping people, and I worked at the Mac for probably gosh, six years, and was always like their top producing trainer. I mean, and you know, I just, again,
Starting point is 00:34:03 I just knew I was on the right path, that seemed easy for me. What's happening at this point with your family? Like, what's your mom and dad saying, why this is why you're getting back on track, you're not doing drugs, you're starting to kill it, you're the top trainer? I mean, what are your siblings saying? What are your mom, what's your relationship like during this time? Well, there was always like, oh, I'll speak for my mom first. I mean, there was always like, I'll speak for my mom first.
Starting point is 00:34:25 I mean, there was always a lot of distrust between my mom and I, because I got kicked out of her house when I was on my 16th birthday because she busted me with some pot. And this was right after I had a party when she was in the hospital. So it was like our relationship was like tense.
Starting point is 00:34:40 And so, you know, then when I got arrested, like she had this huge, she didn't believe that I was gonna change. Because you know, that's like that whole thing where I'm gonna change a promise, I promise, and you don't, you don't, you know, then when I got arrested, like she had this huge, she didn't believe that I was gonna change, like, because you know, that's like that whole thing where, I'm gonna change a promise, a promise, and you don't, and you don't, you don't, it just creates this mistrust. Sure. And so even when I got out, there was still like,
Starting point is 00:34:52 all right, well, just don't, just make sure you don't mess up, don't mess up, are you clean? Are you clean? Like, there was a lot like, she still didn't really trust me, and it didn't take until, now when she's like that, and you know you're on the right path, is that creating conflict between the two of you? Of course, yeah, it's hard because inside I'm like,
Starting point is 00:35:08 I am, I have no cravings for drugs, I have no intention of doing anything. And then she's telling me that and it's like, all right, I'm changing. I'm like, at first I was the polar opposite of what I am now the most unhealthy kid you could think of. And now I'm like the healthiest kid, like packing, like chicken and broccoli with me
Starting point is 00:35:24 when I'm traveling. And I I'm like the healthiest kid, like packing, like chicken and broccoli with me when I'm traveling. And I just felt like I couldn't win. And then over the years, I had to understand where she was coming from, and that there was only so much I could do on my end, that I wasn't gonna, I only the way to convince her that I had changes for me to continue to get better and change.
Starting point is 00:35:41 Do you remember when you had that realization? Do you remember when you transitioned from being the son who was kind of bitter and angry that your mom still felt this way about you to this, like, okay, I get where she's coming from and owning that part? It was really like honestly, not to get spiritual, but when I became a Christian
Starting point is 00:35:59 back in 2014, I mean, I wasn't always, I mean, over the years, I was less bitter towards my mom, obviously. But then when I, when I became a Christian, it wasn't like for me like a big spiritual awakening. It was more for me that I learned that all this stuff happened for a reason for me. And that like, I was, it was meant for me. I went, I went through all this stuff for, for a reason, like to be able to share my story and help other people. And I remember like when I first, like, gave my life as a Christian, I got on my knees and I cried because I just I just felt like that monkey came off my back and I called my mom and I just said I was so I don't know what it was, but I just said I was
Starting point is 00:36:32 sorry. I remember us having lunch and just being able to finally like calmly talk to her like as a son and being like you know mom like I know I didn't handle things the best as a kid and I'm just really sorry. And she actually said the same thing to me. And that, in our relationship, gosh, like exponentially change after that because we got real with each other. And for me, a lot of the bitterness went away because it was like, you know, like me being bitter
Starting point is 00:36:59 isn't gonna make her love me anymore. Right. The only thing that's gonna make her continue to love me more and trust me is by the way I carry myself. And that also goes back to the whole man versus bitch mentality. Like be a man, take responsibility.
Starting point is 00:37:15 Like, you know, she may never, she may have never came around, but you guarantee yourself that she'll never come around if I act like a complete jackass. Right. You know what I mean? So I had to really take ownership. And with my dad, I mean, my dad, he was always like, he was always more so proud of me too.
Starting point is 00:37:32 But again, we had like a different relationship because he just was, he had this temper growing up was always like just seemed like on edgy and angry and it just came off in a way that was just, it just really put a huge strain in us. And even when I got out of jail, he took credit for a lot of the stuff. He was just saying a lot of stuff happened because of him.
Starting point is 00:37:53 He was like, I knew the judge, so that's why the felony did this. And I was just like, dude, the reason I fell into him on my records because I did the work, not because you knew it. And so I just eventually, the more work I did on myself, and more stuff, personal growth, you know, stuff I attended, I just had to learn to like,
Starting point is 00:38:10 you kind of set some sort of boundary to make sure that like it's not like draining me, right? Cause family can be tough sometimes. Right, what characteristics and traits do you have of his? Of his? I mean, I think he's an anxious guy, definitely have anxiety. I think with him to, he's kind of competitive, I mean, I'm pretty competitive,
Starting point is 00:38:30 not like too, not like too, not like too a fault. But it's weird, like, with me and him, that like, it's fun, I hate to say this, but I always said I wanted to be the complete opposite of him. Like, whatever he did, like, whether he was like a pathological liar and me saying now that I don't want to, even if I can't lie. Because I'm like, if I lie, it means I'm being like him
Starting point is 00:38:51 or like he's got a really bad temper, I don't have a temper. Um, you know, and I think like it's just, like the thing that was really hard for me with him was just watching the way that somebody that I thought was supposed to be the guy that really like was the one who loved us most like Treat me in the way that he did Whereas now, I mean in 10 years later whatever 15 years later I've been able to set a boundary and we can have conversations, but it's just not the same as it typically would be between a father and a son Yeah
Starting point is 00:39:22 Have you had any any drug relapses since you stopped? No, none. It's great. Any feelings of wanting? No. None. It was weird. The further away I got from people I was hanging out with,
Starting point is 00:39:36 the habits, just changing my mindset. Whenever I get stressed or anxious, which I still, I mean, I'm human, right? First thing is, it's like, let's go smoke weed. Let's go snort this. It's like, oh, who can I call? Where can I grab a hike or run or go get a lift? Or whatever it is versus before it was like
Starting point is 00:39:56 impulsively doing whatever I could to numb the pain right away. Has anybody ever accused you of replacing one addiction for another with exercise? Of course, yeah, and people were like, well, you're just addicted to exercise, and I'm like, well, I mean, yes, I could see where people say that because I am pretty regimented with my workouts, but if I miss a week of exercise, it's like, I'm not going to, I don't go crazy.
Starting point is 00:40:19 You know, like I always take time off. I don't really work out for any more than like an hour at the gym. I give myself some grace with the way I eat. So, I mean, for me, I think if somebody has an exercise addiction, they can't go one day without it. They're in the gym for hours and hours and hours. Their life depends on fitness. Where fitness is now part of my life. It's not my life. It's part of it. Well, what you're telling me is it sounds like you're doing it because you're valuing
Starting point is 00:40:44 yourself, which is a little different. I think if your insecurities were motivating you to work out, then that might be where the pathology tends to come in. And the self-confidence that you've been building, how has this played out in terms of a significant other? Do you have a significant other right now? Yeah, I have a girlfriend. So it's definitely helped me in that sort of sense
Starting point is 00:41:08 because growing up, I never had any confidence with women. My self-esteem was terrible because I could have been a model for Pillsbury and I was always told by kids, I was like, I had Down syndrome. So I think sometimes we get this false sense of who we are based on the external voices You know that ends come inside of our heads and then we start to believe them And that's the problem right as we start to believe what people say to us
Starting point is 00:41:32 Which now I mean I've gotten to the point where I don't and so I just believe that was this fat ugly kid my whole life And the more I work to myself the more fit and the more I worked out and and transform my body You know the more I'm more confidence I had and the more I worked out and transformed my body, you know, the more I'm more confidence I had and the more I realized I'm not that person. I do have, I am a good looking dude. I do have great characteristics. I am passionate. I am this.
Starting point is 00:41:52 I am that. And it just really helped me like align with the right person I wanted in my life because for a while, I was just chasing after whatever I could, you know, like I could, I'm like, wow, I'm good looking now. I'm like 6% body for whatever it is. I'm gonna go out and try to find like the hottest girl possible. And all it did was end up in like, you know, misery
Starting point is 00:42:10 because like it was just like me just trying to like shoot after the wrong thing instead of really focusing on like finding someone that I really aligned with. How'd you meet your girlfriend now? On a podcast. What, did she have a podcast? She had a podcast? No, what happened was, she heard your story.
Starting point is 00:42:25 Yeah, I mean, yeah, and well, funny story was her, one of her best friends is a host of a podcast. And this is like, it's probably, we've been dating now for about five months. She was like, are you looking for love? And I was like, well, I mean, this is the right person. And she's like, I got a girl who's like perfect for you. And I was like, all right. so I kind of didn't really know
Starting point is 00:42:46 what was gonna happen after that. And she ended up just connecting us on Instagram and we hit it off right away. Good old Instagram. I was like, sift through those DMs. You slid in the DMs that happened? And yeah, we hit it off right away. And it's like, my confidence now, if I hadn't done what I've done
Starting point is 00:43:07 all the work, I would never have confidence that I have now in a relationship. What's your craziest drug moment? And you don't get to use the brain fart of driving around with a half a pound of weed and the scale. Craziest drug moment. My craziest drug moment is probably
Starting point is 00:43:22 when, I mean, crazy or funny. No, crazy, so I mean, crazy or funny? No, crazy. So I mean, everybody I know that has been addicted to drugs or to the level that you were at has got like a story. And I'll give you one that guy remember, we were sharing pill addiction with a friend of mine. And he, I remember I asked him, I said, you know, when did you really know that you had like a fucking problem? He's like, bro, Adam, I'll never forget this. He goes, I remember throwing
Starting point is 00:43:52 30 of the percussettes in my mouth and chewing them all up. And he goes, and then I swallowed it and my stomach rejected it and I vomited everywhere. And he goes, but that wasn't the moment that I know I realized that I had a major problem. He goes, but that wasn't the moment that I knew, I realized that I had a major problem. He goes, when I scooped it up off the ground and put it back in my mouth, was when I realized I had a fucking problem. So I know you gotta have some shit like that.
Starting point is 00:44:14 I mean, yeah, for me, I mean, when I really knew shit was bad, was that when I literally hadn't taken a shit for a month. Whoa! A month with no shit? You're back to it for a month? Like, yeah, what day do you go? You was like, bad breath. Yeah, what day do you go? You said bad breath. Yeah, what's it? I was walking around like
Starting point is 00:44:28 Quasimodo. You know, like going all the way back. And like I literally remember having to take like an animal. Oh, wow. Yeah, it was so bad and like obviously I'm not going to detail what happened, but that was like one of the moments where I was like shit. And then another one where I just did some like fucked up stuff where I like one of the moments where I was like shit. And then another one where I just did some like, fucked up stuff where I like, I would tell my grandmother I needed money for rent
Starting point is 00:44:49 and she would give me like a thousand bucks or something and then I would go and just get drugs and I was just like, you know, you do it and then like after we're actually like, man, like how much longer can I keep doing this? And I mean, there was a couple that come to mind. I mean, I was always like, like there was always time for like,
Starting point is 00:45:04 I would get really stoned. And I would fall asleep in a hammock. And my friends would like fire crackers underneath the hammock. So I would fly out. Speaking of print, what? Guys will do that when you're not on print. Yeah, right, right.
Starting point is 00:45:16 What's your theory or what do you believe about the importance of the circle of people you surround yourself with? I think it's so important. Like, I always say the surround yourself with? I think it's so important. I always say the surround yourself with people that challenge, love, and support you unconditionally. It's like you show me your friends, show me your future.
Starting point is 00:45:32 And because I think for me, say that again, show me your friends, say that again, which show me your friends, and I'll show you your future. Literally, because you create this false sense of, you create this, your environment can give you this false sense of normalcy. Like if you think about a bunch of alcoholics
Starting point is 00:45:47 who are in the bar, like 7, 8, 9, 8, 9 a.m. They're staying there all day, they're like, oh, I don't know, a problem. Everybody else is doing it. Well, everybody else in there is doing it. And then, like for me, I thought what I was doing was normal. I thought doing drugs, selling drugs, doing all that
Starting point is 00:46:00 was normal because everybody I was hanging out with was doing that too. It wasn't until I got outside of that that I realized like, hey, whatever I'm doing, it's not right. And so now it's like, I only really surround myself with people that add value to my life that are like lifting me up, supporting me,
Starting point is 00:46:17 calling me my bullshit, holding me accountable, and that we have common futures and not common paths. Because I think a lot of times like we get caught up in, oh, I've known someone so for 10 years, we were like, I can't like leave him or leave her or whatever, but it's like they're influencing or being around you to make every single bad decision you've made, so you really think that's important.
Starting point is 00:46:36 Right. It's so true that we tend to do that, right? We tend to hang out with these people that we had, we had a similar bad past and so we connect. I remember when I first started to piece that together, how important my circle was. Now since you've put this all together, and I imagine you've already dealt with this, what's a recent relationship that you've had to kind of carve off?
Starting point is 00:46:57 And who was it and how hard was that for you? I mean, there's been several, but I mean, I guess in the last few years, it was one of my best friends growing up who got addicted to paying killers shortly after I did. And then when I got clean, he was still bouncing off and on, off and on. I'd always get the call from his mom, from his girlfriend or his aunt or whoever it was, you know, help so and so, help so and so. And I just, you know, I kept helping him and kept helping him.
Starting point is 00:47:24 And after a point in time, I was just like, dude, I can't help you anymore. Like I can't keep enabling you. I can't, it's bringing me down, it's draining me. Like you gotta get help and if you're not gonna get help, I can't, it's just, it's, and it's hard because I don't wanna, I don't wanna like, I don't think he's a bad person.
Starting point is 00:47:37 I'm just like, I can't keep you around in my circle unless you're like, really wanting to make your life better. Yeah, where's he at today still still? I mean, the last I heard, I actually got a call from him a few months ago that he'd overdo scenes in jail. I think he's back out now. I mean, I try to like keep tabs in the month social media a little bit, but it's tough.
Starting point is 00:47:57 I mean, because what happens is even like, I've gotten rid of like all my old friends, like all my friends I hang out with now, they're very, they're fairly new as in like, I've known him some five years old friends, all my friends, I hang out with them now. They're fairly new, I've known them some five years, six years, seven years. And I think a lot of people, I feel like thought I was judging them, but really, I have no issue with anybody.
Starting point is 00:48:17 Just I knew that when I was hanging out with a group of guys, and if they're gonna continue to make the same decisions, that it wasn't gonna end good for me, and I had to think about myself and I thought about it, I always thought about people pleasing everybody when I was a kid trying to fit in and I just knew that that just got me in jail
Starting point is 00:48:31 and I just didn't wanna do that anymore. You had mentioned becoming a Christian back in 2014. Yeah. How big of a role has a spiritual practice? Now that you have, did you have a spiritual practice before? No, no, because I grew up like old, I was Greek, so I grew up old school Greek Orthodox, where my view was, if you're good, you went to heaven,
Starting point is 00:48:51 if you're bad, you went to hell, and I was like, well, shit, I'm on the highway to hell, like there's no saving me. Where you were practicing, where you were practicing? No. Okay, so you didn't really have a spiritual practice before. And what made you move into a spiritual practice later on and then again how big of a role did that play in?
Starting point is 00:49:07 I was huge. I mean I had a client who was a pastor to non-denominational church and he was like you should go to church with me and he's like we can go to Chipotle after I'm like I don't eat Chipotle. That's a good selling point. I mean I'm in. I'm in. I'm a church in Chipotle. Don't get there.
Starting point is 00:49:23 And he was like, the case of Dillas. Yeah. He was like, he's like, come on, I was like, do you have a belong in church? I was like, I'm going to help or put me through this workout.
Starting point is 00:49:32 He's like, come on man, come on brother. You know, he's like this, like, you know, he's like from North Carolina or whatever. And, and I finally, like, I just got to a point. It was like in September of 2014. I was making a lot of money to train here. I was doing really well, I was fit, I was, I'd been clean, I just
Starting point is 00:49:49 written my first book from felony to fitness to free. And I thought I should be happier, right? I was like, why aren't I happy? And I think it was because I still had held onto that burden, like we talked about earlier with my mom and just all, not just that, but every other bad decision I made was always sitting on my shoulder.
Starting point is 00:50:07 Whether it was manipulating people to get money or selling drugs or doing drugs, whatever it was. And I remember just like, I was out in San Diego, I was in a mastermind retreat that I've been part of. And one of my mentors was like, dude, you have no like spiritual purpose in you. He's like, what's your purpose? You have enough, he was like,
Starting point is 00:50:27 I'm not pushing you to do anything, but he's like, I don't know, maybe try that. He's like, it's been huge for me. And I was like, huh, he's telling me that, my client. So I was like, I'll just give it a try. I remember calling my client, Ben. And I was like, okay, I think I'm ready to try this Jesus thing.
Starting point is 00:50:39 Even though like to me, I hate it. I hate it. What a great focus. I'm gonna take a breath. I hate it. Take the Jesus, I hate it. I got it. What a great focus. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.
Starting point is 00:50:47 I got so turned off by that stuff. And for me, like I said, when I gave my life to Jesus the day in his office, I just felt completely like I felt like that same monkey came off my back that I felt like when I started smoking pot, I felt like I could be comfortable with who I was. And I really realized that there's no coincidence that Eric helped me in jail use fitness to change my life. And now I'm helping other people use fitness to change their lives. And for me, it's just about not being an asshole when I'm a Christian. It's like just like every other religion or spiritual practices, like treat
Starting point is 00:51:19 people with respect, you know, own your shit. Life's not all about me. And just knowing like why things happen. And it just gave me a sense of purpose. Like I knew I didn't want to just be a trainer. Like I didn't want to be the guy who's in the gym for like 40 years. Like I just wasn't gonna be me. I knew I had something more special to share. And that's why I've been really passionate
Starting point is 00:51:38 about sharing my story, writing books and just put myself out there because I knew like there's there's meaning and purpose in that. Do you plan on having a family one day? Yeah, of course. I mean, I really I really want some kids. I think I'm going to be a great dad. I mean, I've learned a lot about what to do, what not to do. And just like the whole like challenge of just like raising kids, I love a challenge. So there's like raising kids, especially in this society we live in now. I think it's important. I think I've just learned a lot of love a challenge. So there's like raising kids, especially in this society we live in now. I think it's important.
Starting point is 00:52:06 I think I've just learned a lot of lessons and got a lot of wisdom on some stuff like with, you know, like what really makes people truly happy and successful and what that looks like and just being able to kind of correlate that into my family is something I'd be really proud to do. When you think about that, what's like the, you know, in the relationship that you lack with your father,
Starting point is 00:52:29 what would be a thing that you know that you would do differently with your son? I mean, like loving unconditionally, being very truthful, and if you say you're gonna do something doing it, stick into your word, I mean, your words, everything, obviously there's times where it gets tough, I'm not talking about those times. You know, and just treating them with respect and not like, I mean, because I felt like
Starting point is 00:52:53 I just felt like this respected a lot when I was a kid. And like, not like, and more like just being able to challenge and support my kid in a way that's like loving. And I don't mean like sugar coating stuff. I just mean where the kid feels like he like loves you and not like that you're like just trophy for him. Because that's what I felt like I was a trophy because you know, we were obviously there was a lot of fighting when we were kids over the child support and over custody and everything
Starting point is 00:53:22 that kind of bled into our family life. And he always wanted me to be good at sports and I just wasn't good. And I think that got into our relationships. There was one time, he would just scream at me from the sidelines when he was coaching. Scream. And I remember one time just telling him,
Starting point is 00:53:34 like, dude, I don't want you coaching me anymore. You're embarrassing. I'm like nine years old or whatever I was. I was like, this isn't like the NBA, okay? I'm not gonna be the next MJ. Yeah. Like I'm five, two, and like the NBA, okay? Like, I'm not gonna be the next MJ. Yeah. Like I'm five, two, like 150 pounds. I can't jump more than two inches.
Starting point is 00:53:50 How's your business now? What do you do for work now? And are you pretty happy with your level of success? Yeah, I mean, obviously, you can always be, I mean, things can always be better, but I'm really happy with the way things have turned out. I mean, I've got a pretty solid training business back home. I've gotten more into the online space as far as doing some coaching online.
Starting point is 00:54:11 I'm still trying to figure all that out. My third book came out earlier this year. It's done really well. I think I've sold over 500 copies, which has been cool for me, especially since I didn't have a publisher. I didn't do crazy amount like advertising with it or whatever. And then the one thing I'm really trying to build up is my speaking career. I mean, I just got done speaking to the Clemson Tigers and football team last week, which was awesome.
Starting point is 00:54:34 That's cool. It was super humbling, yeah. Especially for the unathletic guy. Yeah, yeah. They didn't get my jokes either. They were like, is there all like serious alpha males, you know? And I was like, they're like quarterback is like all serious alpha males? You know, and I was like, they're like quarterback is Trevor Lawrence
Starting point is 00:54:47 is one of the best in the country. And I'm like, I wonder how I'm gonna break the ice of these guys. So they all looking at who's this guy. I called it 75, there's coaches and staff. I'm like, my name's Doug Bob, something new walk on quarterback.
Starting point is 00:54:57 And they all looked at me and they go, seriously. Yeah. They were all like, I'm kidding. And I went up to like, I'm gonna lose. I went up to, I went to my contact afterwards. were all like, I'm kidding. I went up to like, I went up to like, I went up to,
Starting point is 00:55:06 I went to my contact afterwards. I was like, did you get my joke? He said, yeah, but nobody else did. They thought you were serious. I was like, oh, I wonder why, no one laughed. Most nerve-wracking moment you've had so far, speaking and podcasting all that, what's been the hardest?
Starting point is 00:55:20 Definitely impact theory with Tom, tell you. Yeah, it was hard. I mean, because he's not a God believer, that's why. Well, that wasn't anything. He gave me the fucking Tom. He gave me the platform to share about it too, which was awesome. Right.
Starting point is 00:55:32 But he just, he just, he, he, he, he, he, you never know like, you know, what kind of questions people are gonna ask? And he got like right in with like, okay, like, what was your mind? How did your mind set up to shift from you being in jail to like being, I was like, you know you know, and then also I've just, I've been followed time forever.
Starting point is 00:55:48 So I just being able to sit in that same chair that I watched other people sit in for years. Takes balls. Takes balls, right? Yeah, figuratively, yeah, no, definitely. And just, you know, he challenged me, and I would say some stuff and he'd be like, yeah, I mean, I don't like that answer.
Starting point is 00:56:04 He's like, I don't, yeah, he's like, I don't like it. He's like, what else you got? He's like, he's like, what a 12 year old really believe that? And I'm like, so I remember he asked me a question about bullying. He's like, well, I think if I was 12, now obviously, it's like, knowing that people, the way they treat you
Starting point is 00:56:17 as a reflection of you as a reflection of him, he's like, eh, I don't think a 12 year old is gonna want it. I'm like, yeah, he's right. You know, like, because I'm thinking about now, but when I was 12, I was like, when I was 12, there's no way, I don't, I was like, I don't know, you know, he's right. You know, like, because I'm thinking about now, but I'm like, when I was 12, I was like, when I was 12, like, there's no way, I don't, I was like, I don't know, you know, it's tough. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:30 What, you ever get back in contact with your cellmate, the guy that kind of started all this? Yeah, I mean, I did for a while. I actually ended up working out with him a few times, which was awesome, because I got to keep up with him. I could do like his routine with him and not like be slacking behind, because, I mean, when I was in jail, I could never keep up with him ever. could do like his routine with him and not like be slacking behind. Because I mean, when I was in jail, I could never keep up with him ever.
Starting point is 00:56:48 And so when I got out, I kept on the journey. It was got to the point where I could. But then he kept falling back with some of his stuff. So I just kind of, it really broke my heart because I saw him choose to save my life instead of saving his own. But like I never forget where I came from as far as that, like I still like I said, I have to work out, framed my place.
Starting point is 00:57:10 And it just would change it for me who's asked me for money. And I was just, I can't give you money man. I was like, I'll be here to support you emotionally, mentally, whatever. I was like, I just can't send you money. And I know we went back to jail. And so it was tough, but you know,
Starting point is 00:57:24 if you can't, if you call me at answer. Man, that is tough. It's tough that the guy that pretty much turned everything around for you, like looking to you to get things and you know that it's not for the best, in your best interest or his best interest for you not to give him the money. So with that, that must have been a hard situation.
Starting point is 00:57:39 Yeah, because I'm a pretty emotional guy and I get invested with people and I'm like, I put a lot of stock in a relationship like friendships, you know, romantic relationships, stuff of my clients. And so that like it crushed me because I felt I was just like, man, like, what's gonna happen to me? Like I said, that was like, I mean the self-sabotage initial thought right, I caught myself, but I was like, well if he's doing that, like what the hell is gonna happen to me, But I just knew it wasn't about me. It was about him and like, how can I learn from what he's done
Starting point is 00:58:11 to not go back into jail? Because it's funny, the other day I was in jail volunteering and mentoring these some of these kids. And it was just so surreal. I was the first time I'd ever returned on the other side of the fence since I went, since the day I went in, like in a cell. I was gonna ask you if you had plans to go and help people.
Starting point is 00:58:29 Yeah, so you have. I just started, I honestly just, I had my first day on Monday. Oh wow. Yeah, and it was cool because it's like, there's like five kids, they're all like 16, 17 years old. Like some of them committed, you know, violent crimes, some have, it's just, and it just to be able to sit in there and just share wisdom with these kids,
Starting point is 00:58:48 it's really humbling and powerful at the same time. It was also kind of strange because you're seeing like the same doors, like clothes behind you, there's no like, like super fit. It was weird because the guard was like, yo, my man looks like Mark Wahlberg. And I was like, really? And all excited.
Starting point is 00:59:02 Dude, really? Really? Yeah. Guy? Really? Got a next week. Go. Nevermind. No, it was funny because when I was in jail before they thought I was like spence from the King of Queens.
Starting point is 00:59:10 So what was it? What was it? What was it? It was so you got upgraded. I got upgraded. That's great. There's a long tradition of fitness professionals or whatever. Working with people in prison.
Starting point is 00:59:23 Short-sneaker did it. They would go and talk to them about working out. They'd go pose for them and everything. And there was a big deal when a lot of jails would move their weights. There was a big controversy around that because psychologists talk about how much exercise can help rehab people.
Starting point is 00:59:39 Do you think it's a bad idea to take weights and exercise out of prisons? Yeah, I do. I mean, I think it's, I mean, obviously there's pros and cons and everything, obviously you can cause fights and all that stuff, but like as far as like what exercise does for you mentally and keeping like your sanity and like, I mean, you can't replace,
Starting point is 01:00:00 you cannot replace that, like it's hard. And especially like I think exercise in nutrition are two of the most under-utilized tools we have, the battle drug addiction. Yeah. Because people we always just wanna give them a pill, give them a pill, do this, do that. But like that only works for so much,
Starting point is 01:00:13 but how about your health? Because a lot of times people aren't using drugs because they just wanna use drugs. Yes, they're certain percent of the population that has that gene. But there's a lot of people that are using drugs because they feel like shit about themselves, or they're insecure,
Starting point is 01:00:25 they don't know how to cope with stress in a healthy way. And so exercise, meditation, all these other health practices that are coming to the surface are great ways to replace those unhealthy ones that people have before. And I think you gotta do that as a foundation because health is wealth, right?
Starting point is 01:00:43 And I think like if physical health, if you're physically healthy, it can improve your mental health, your spiritual health, and your emotional health. You can be emotionally spiritually and mentally healthy and not be physically healthy. Right. So I just think it just trickles down and everything else.
Starting point is 01:00:56 Now you had the romantic relationship that you're in right now, you've been in for like five or six months. When was the last relationship that you had before that? I mean, relationships with me are fairly new because when I got out of jail, I was 21 and I had to rebuild my life. Like, I knew if I try to get involved with anybody, it was just not gonna result in anything good
Starting point is 01:01:18 because I had a lot of healing to do on my own. So I didn't do, I was scared to date anybody. So you, I mean, you're a pretty self-aware guy. You share your insecurities. What are some to date anybody. So you're a pretty self-aware guy, you share your insecurities, what are some of the insecurities that you're having right now with being in a relationship for the first time, really, and almost forever? I think the biggest, and some of the biggest insecurities
Starting point is 01:01:34 for me are am I doing a good job? Because I grew up in a broken home, and this is all kind of new to me, so it's like I've done a lot of reading, actually reading books on relationships, intimacy to try to learn how to be a better boyfriend, because I'm such a growth mindset that if I don't know something, I'm gonna try to figure it out,
Starting point is 01:01:57 and I guess time figures, you figure out stuff in time, so that, and then just also the fact that So that and then like just also the fact that like Just him like how like what's like how to how to progress everything like where do you like where do you go from here and? Have you faced your first like I used to say that the things come in threes so third month third month six month nine month 12 month Third or big milestones and relationships relationships. And have you hit some of the first challenges and what were they and how did you get through them? I mean, I would say there's always gonna be, I mean, at least for my understanding,
Starting point is 01:02:32 challenges and relationships. And I think, for us, it's just more just getting to know each other more. And I think the more we get to know each other, the more we understand how we respond to certain situations and how we both like to communicate. And you know, it's like we're really like good for each other. We're really aligned as far as like our values and our beliefs that we've like built like a solid foundation in that.
Starting point is 01:02:57 And it's so I think that like really trumps everything as far as like we kind of like know and like each other for who we are, which really helps a lot. You just had a had a major fight yet? Nothing crazy, no, no, no. It was the last one. Any role plane? Yes.
Starting point is 01:03:12 So mate, so you know. Whoa, whoa, guy. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. I'm just curious. All right. No, no, no. You're the prison guard.
Starting point is 01:03:23 Yeah. Yeah. Great story, no. You're the prison guard. Yeah. Great, great story, Doug. I appreciate kind of what you're talking about. And you're honesty. And you're honesty. Yeah, I really do appreciate that a lot. I can feel that you feel like you have your sense of purpose. I can feel that through talking to you.
Starting point is 01:03:38 So that's how you got yourself on the show. And I think you did a good job. Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it. Yeah, no, I appreciate you, man, keep doing what you're doing. Thank you, thank you. No, thank you. Thank you for listening to Mind Pump.
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