Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 1140: Nir Eyal
Episode Date: October 14, 2019Interview Nir Eyal Making the case why technology is NOT irresistible. (3:08) What is the definition of distraction and traction? (7:55) Why do we do anything? Understanding the nature of human emo...tion. (9:06) Technology is the tool: It’s all about how we USE IT. (11:07) The technique of using tech against tech: #1 - Social antibodies. (19:50) Making time for traction: Technique #2. (24:44) Hacking back the external triggers: Technique #3. (26:29) Preventing distraction with packs: Technique #4. (27:19) The 3 concepts of social competence and wellbeing when it comes to our children. (28:37) What are some things he agrees with his fellow researchers and what do they disagree on? (35:27) Understanding what your values are and turning those into time. (38:50) What’s the role of dopamine in the brain? (40:05) How technology can be ADDICTIVE, but not affect everyone: The nature of addiction. (41:50) What is his take on the future of technology? (46:10) Why ‘filter bubbles’ is nothing new. (53:03) The importance of having a conversation rather than fear-mongering. (56:56) Featured Guest/People Mentioned Nir Eyal (@neyal99) Instagram Nir Eyal (@nireyal) Twitter Website Adam Alter (@adamleealter) Twitter Jean Twenge (@jean_twenge) Twitter Jonathan Haidt (@JonHaidt) Twitter Related Links/Products Mentioned October Promotion: MAPS Anabolic ½ off!! **Code “RED50” at checkout** Nir Eyal - Books Nir Eyal Ted Talk - What makes technology so habit-forming? Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked - Book by Adam Alter iGen: Why Today's Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy--and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood--and What That Means for the Rest of Us - Book by Jean Twenge Paul Virilio - VICE Forest App The Kids (Who Use Tech) Seem to Be All Right The Decline of Play and the Rise of Psychopathology in Children and Adolescents Parents in trouble again for letting kids walk alone The Coddling of the American Mind - Book by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt Change Your Mind HumanProgress.org The Truth about Kids and Tech: Jean Twenge (iGen) and Nir Eyal (Hooked) - Debate
Transcript
Discussion (0)
If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go.
Mite, ob-mite, up with your hosts.
Salda Stefano, Adam Schaefer, and Justin Andrews.
If you've been listening to Mind Pump for a little while, you've heard us talk about the issues that technology may be posing.
We've talked about how we think it's contributing to the distractability among kids.
Maybe it's a problem with ADD.
Maybe it's causing health issues.
Well, we actually had a former Stanford professor
on this episode near A.L.
Come on, and actually debate some of these things
that we thought, and I'm not gonna lie.
He changed our minds quite a bit.
We can't put our minds a little bit in this episode.
He did. He was extremely logical. He used real data, real science. And he explained how a
lot of the stuff that we even we've been saying or we've been led to believe is alarmist.
And he makes a very, very compelling argument. We think you're going to really enjoy this
episode. Now he has two books
that you can read about the subject. One of them is called Indistractable. The other
one is called Hooked. I think you can find both of them on his website indistractable.com
or his other website which is near and far.com near aspelled NIR. He also has a great
TED talk that you can see on YouTube. The title of that
talk is what makes some technology so habit-forming. And then you can also find him on Instagram
at N-E-Y-A-L-9. Anyway, this episode was mind-blowing. It's all about technology, how it's affecting
us. And if the, some of the information you've been getting,
maybe alarmist, it might not be as bad
as you've been led to believe.
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Have you heard of Adam Atlas irresistible? Yeah, he's a good friend of mine actually.
I'm dropping into his class to teach.
Oh, you're gonna have a few weeks.
You're gonna have to put an order
that somebody who I've been trying to get on the show
my so I would love to talk to him.
Sure, you got it.
I haven't made the connection.
That was a great read.
I read that a couple of years ago.
This guy's teased me forever
because I used to talk about it on the show.
It's a constant reference.
Okay, so we have some disagreements.
Oh, so that's why I used to talk about it on the show. I constant reference. Okay. Yeah. So we have some disagreements. Oh, So that's why I wanted to I wanted to start you there because so funny Justin and I Justin found you
years ago when him and I were
Building an app and we were trying to gamify fitness. We were trying to find obviously learning all about the
With the feedback loop or whatever so keep you hooked and coming back
I think that's when he ran into your TED talk,
and he shared it with me.
I think a year after that, I found Adam Atler's book,
I read Gentories, I-Gin, and that was just like,
that freaked me out, I talked about it on the show all the time.
So that was like the first thing I was hoping
that you'd actually knew who he was,
and it sounds like you'd do, and I was loved to hear what you guys disagree about because
our audience has heard me talk about irresistible many times.
I'm gonna unfreec you out.
All right.
So yeah, we.
Yeah.
Great.
So yeah, so I actually was going to call my next book irresistible and
it took me five years to write,
I ended up calling it indistractable, not Irresistible,
because the more I delved into this topic,
the more I realized that technology is not irresistible.
We can resist it.
And so that's what becoming indistractable is all about.
Indistractable sounds like indestructible.
It's a superpower.
And I do believe that having this power to choose your attention and control your life,
deciding to live with personal integrity, doing what it is you say you're going to do is
going to be the skill of the century. It's incredibly important whether it's in your
home life, whether it's in taking care of your physical health, whether it's about your
professional career, being able to do what it is you say you're going to do
is going to be incredibly important.
And so, I was patient zero with all this.
I thought at one point that technology was irresistible.
I written, hooked, and then after a few years after writing, hooked, and to clarify, I wrote
the book, hooked.
I never wrote it for Facebook.
Facebook never hired me.
I've never worked for those big companies.
Those were the companies where I learned these techniques
and then wanted to democratize them.
So, so that guys like you could build fitness apps
and healthcare apps and apps to help people save money
and what, you know, that's exactly what's happened
in the past five years since Hooked was published.
So, it was never for the big tech companies.
It was about taking those same techniques
to help people build healthy habits in their lives.
But then shortly after I wrote hooked, I found that I was getting distracted.
There was this one particular instance where I was with my daughter.
We had this afternoon together and we had this book of activities that daddy's and daughters
could play together.
One of the activities was to ask each other this question.
That if you could have any superpower, what superpower would you want? And I remember the question
of her batom, but I don't remember her answer, because when she was answering my question,
I was busy looking at my phone. And she walked out of the room, she realized that she was less
important than my phone, and she got the hint, she left the room. And next thing I knew I looked
up and she was gone.
And if I'm honest with you, it didn't just happen once.
It would happen with my daughter, it would happen
with my relationships.
It would happen when I would sit down to work,
I constantly kept getting distracted.
And so my natural impulse was,
oh, this technology's fault, technology's doing it to me.
What did you know?
How did I, how was I part of this industry
that gets people hooked?
And, but then when I took a step back
and I read into what these books tell you,
what books that say technology is the problem
tell you to do, get rid of the technology, right?
The technology is a problem.
So if we got rid of it, that would solve it.
And so I did that.
And I got myself a flip phone on Alibaba
that cost 10 bucks.
And it had no apps, just text messages and phone calls.
It's all it did.
And then I went on eBay and I got myself a word processor
with no internet connection.
All it did, you can just type on it.
And I said, ah, now I'm going to focus.
Now I'm gonna sit down on my desk
and I'm gonna do my work, no distraction.
And then I'd see that book on the bookshelf
that I've been meaning to check out.
Or let me just tidy up my desk real quick.
Let me just take out the trash real quick
and I kept getting distracted,
even though there wasn't any technology
that was distracting me.
So it turns out the distraction, eight new.
It's been around a very, very long time.
And in fact, Plato talked about a 2,500 years ago.
It called it a kerasia,
the tendency to do things against our better interest.
And so the fact that technology is not the source of distraction,
the more you dig into it, the source of distraction,
even though distraction is easier to find today, clearly.
I mean, the fact that it's more pervasive, more persuasive
if you're looking for distraction, distraction,
you're going to find, but technology is not the real cause.
It's what's called the proximal cause.
The root cause of why we get distracted
is much more interesting.
And if we're going to actually solve distraction,
we have to understand what those root causes
of distraction are.
What are not yet to talk about?
Yeah, yeah.
So in order to understand, well, let me first,
okay, let me define what distraction is.
So I'm a big terminology, guys.
Let's make sure we understand the words we're using.
So the way to understand distraction
is to understand what distraction is not.
The opposite of distraction is not focus.
The opposite of distraction is traction.
Both come from the same Latin root, trajare,
which means to pull.
And you'll notice both words end in the same six letters,
ACTIO and the spells action.
So traction is any action that pulls you towards
what you want to do in life, okay?
Things that you do with intent.
Now, if what you intend to do is play a video game
or go to the gym or spend time with your daughter
or whatever it might be,
whatever it is you plan to do is traction.
The opposite of traction is distraction. Anything that you do that is not what you plan to do with intent.
So this frees us from this ridiculous moral hierarchy that, you know, playing candy
crush somehow, that's a waste of time. But watching football for three hours on TV,
that's somehow okay. No. Anything you plan to do with intent that's
consistent with your values, do it. Great. So you've got traction, you've got distraction.
Now the next question, let's really start from base level, understanding of why not only
do why do we get distracted, why do we do anything?
What's the nature of human motivation?
And it turns out that most people when you ask them what's the nature of human motivation,
they're going to give you some version of carrots and sticks.
This is called Freud's pleasure principle.
We do things in the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain, right? Wrong. Not true. Turns
out from a neurological perspective, everything we do, everything we do is done through
a desire to escape discomfort. It's pain all the way down. Physiologically, we know this
is true. If you think about how when you're cold,
that doesn't feel good. You put on a jacket. You go back inside. It's hot. You take it off. You feel
hunger pangs. You eat. And when you're full, oh, that doesn't feel good, you stop eating. So those are
physiological responses. Same goes for psychological sensations. When you're lonely, check Facebook. When
you're uncertain, Google, when you're bored, Reddit, stock prices, the
news, sports scores, lots and lots of things cater to this uncomfortable sensation of
boredom.
So that means if all human behaviors spurred by desire to escape discomfort, that means
that time management is pain management, that fundamentally the root cause of distraction, it ain't our technology.
It's the fact that we are looking for psychological pacification,
like babies sucking on pacifiers, we're looking for relief from something we don't want to feel.
And if we don't acknowledge that fact, that we are using these devices
and the generation ago it was different distraction, distraction is nothing new.
It's been around for a very, very long time.
The core reason, the root cause of why we get distracted is because of what's called
these internal triggers, these uncomfortable emotional states that we seek to escape.
And the goal here, the way one of the ways we become indistractable is that we learn to
channel that discomfort, that those uncomfortable emotional states towards traction instead of distraction.
Question, do you think that technological devices and that the way they're designed
may not be the root of distraction, but do you think that they may contribute to other problems
because they, for lack of a better term, exploit, or, you know, I hate
using that work. I don't think people are actually sitting there trying to exploit us,
but do you think that they can make a natural human desire or issue worse? And I like
it, I compare it to the natural human desire to eat foods that are hedonistic.
And for most of human history,
this wasn't a problem because food was limited.
So you didn't have a lot of problems
with food aside from starving.
Then we solved that problem by producing lots of food
and then creating hyper-palatable food.
And so the issue isn't that the food
isn't necessarily the problem.
It's the fact that we
like seeking out this hedonistic pleasure and now we have an obesity epidemic, for example.
So the food may not be the necessarily the root cause of the problem, but it's definitely gasoline
on the fire. Would you say that technology is similar in the sense that these apps and social
media, because that was around in the 80s and 90s before the stuff,
we had TV.
TV was the big problem.
And Super Mario Brothers.
But TV is like, and heavy metal music.
Yeah, that was supposed to melt our brains.
It was.
All this stuff was supposed to melt our brains.
Right, but, but, but TV was like,
TV was like strawberries and apples.
You know, I'm a caveman, strawberry, apple, yum.
Right?
Now we have like donuts and like candy.
That's apps in social media.
Do you think it may be like gasoline on the fire?
Or do you think, no, it poses no?
And I definitely know, I can definitely respect that
we tend to be freak out over anything that's new.
There's pictures of people in their newspapers
on trains from the 1920s and people have worried
that they're not talking to each other.
People had issues with phones and stuff like that.
So I get that.
But do you think that maybe we're starting to reach a point where it's, we may need to
pay attention a little bit more?
Certainly, we need to pay attention.
And there are definitely knock-on effects that can be deleterious, right?
So, you know, part of the unfortunate byproduct of people using devices too much is that they are losing
sleep, right?
That is particularly with kids.
One of the suggestions in the book is that we need to make sure that there are no external
triggers.
External triggers are all the pings, dings, and rings, all the things in our environment
that can prompt us towards distraction.
Those need to be out of our kids' rooms at night because we know that sleep is, the
research is pretty conclusive, that kids need sleep, all of us need sufficient sleep.
So if there's something interrupting your sleep in your bedroom, get that out of your bedroom.
But is it the technology's fault?
Is it the ping in the ding on the phone that's at fault?
Or is it the fact that you put the phone in the bedroom or the television screen in your
kids' room when they really need to sleep. It's, for example, there's an example in the book
of what happens with technology and the workforce.
I can tell you these four methods for becoming
indistractable and you can use these in your life
to become indistractable yourself.
But what happens if your boss calls you at 8 PM
on a Friday night?
Is it the telephone?
That's the problem? Or is it your jerky boss that
doesn't respect your time? Sure. So the technology is the tool, just like a hammer. A hammer can be used
to build a home, a hammer can be used to bash someone's head in. So it's really about how we use it.
But the fact in the matter is we're not going back to the days before donuts. Donuts are here.
Social media ain't going away. And we don't want it to go away.
Do we want a techno prohibitionist society?
I love alcohol, right?
It's a great thing.
It's a lot of fun to sometimes get a little tipsy.
And if you use it responsibly, it's wonderful.
I don't want to go back to the days of prohibition.
Nobody does, I don't think.
Very few people.
And the same goes for technology.
It's not going away.
So what choice do we have?
We can't wind back the clock.
The only choice we have is to find ways to do what human beings have always done with
a new technology.
We adapt our behaviors and we adopt new technologies to fix the last generation of technology.
Paul Raleo, the philosopher, said,
When you invent the ship, you invent the ship wreck.
It's impossible to invent a world changing technology that touches billions of lives without
having some negative repercussions.
So I'm not an apologist for the tech industry.
There's lots of stuff the tech industry does that they need to be held accountable.
Monopoly status, data incursion, political interference, lots of bad stuff.
But when it comes to this one question of, is technology hijacking our brains?
Is it irresistible? Is it addicting everyone?
Not only is that not true, it's not helpful.
Because when you tell people,
the big bag corporations doing it to you, right?
They fall into two camps, the blamers or the shammers.
The blamers say, they're doing it to me.
It's the tech companies, and there's nothing I can do about it, right? That's what the blamers say they're doing it to me. It's the tech companies, and there's nothing I can do about it.
That's what the blamers say.
And of course, this teaches what's called learned helplessness,
learned helplessness is the psychological phenomenon
where if you think you don't have agency and control,
you stop trying.
You're a victim.
Yeah, my kid is acting crazy.
Not my fault, it's the technology.
The games are doing it to me.
It's not that I can do.
My husband won't stop getting off their phone.
Well, it's not that our marriage
is where it should be, it's not the technology.
You feel though there may be a lack of education
in terms of how to set parameters and barriers
for these products that definitely do hijacking
to your behaviors and try to kind of lead you
in a certain way.
But let me, so hijacking is what they did to us on 9 11
hijacking is not
your iPhone
There is nothing that Zuckerberg or Jack Dorsey or Tim Cook can do if you turn off your goddamn notification settings
Two thirds of people with a smartphone listen to this two thirds of people with a smartphone never change their notification settings
Can we seriously say that tech is hijacking our brains, addicting us? It's irresistible. When you haven't taken 10 minutes to turn off those
notifications. Yeah, you're, you're talking about personal, personal responsibility. And I think
we're all 100% behind that. I think the, the problem isn't the, that I think corporations are
bad and that we need to pass laws against them.
I think the issue is it's new
and we don't yet understand how to manage,
how to manage them, how to develop
the behaviors around them.
Well, I find it really interesting
or that I'm almost 40 years old.
I have all my notifications turned off.
And yet I still feel the desire to look over
and check my Instagram again.
And I also understand how they work the algorithm
where, you know, if I got a thousand likes in 10 minutes,
I don't get those thousand likes right away.
They get dripped to me over the course of the next hour
to make me want to come back and see,
oh, did I get another 50 likes or whatever?
But by the way, do you know that,
is that true for a fact?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm not sure that is true.
Oh, really?
Yeah. I've heard folks say- Adam Atler talks about it in, yeah. I'm not sure that is true. Oh, really? Yeah.
I've heard folks.
Adam Atler talks about it in his book.
I don't think that's actually true.
I don't think he has actually very good at that.
That's twice your age.
That Instagram does that.
I sure, Brunchie, guys, both here together at the same time.
I've actually seen Instagram say we do not do that on Twitter.
Oh, really?
No, but there's just, there's a lot of misperception out there
that I think.
Well, my point was that I have the notifications off.
I'm wise enough to know that they've engineered it to make me want to come back.
Yet I still feel the desire to do that.
And so my fear or my concern is that if I was somebody who was here before this technology
came around and after and and and aware and
Still struggle with the temptation similar to the story you told with your own daughter
Obviously, you're well aware of all of it too. My concern is the generations that are coming up and the and to Justin's point the you know
Are we are we not educating our?
Our kids that are coming up
with these tools that, hey, this hammer can be dangerous too
and maybe you shouldn't be at five years old
staring at a screen for at two hours at a time,
but parents are loving that because it works
as a great babysitter now that you didn't have before.
So I guess that's where I come from.
I don't blame the tech or the people that created it, but
maybe it's conversations that need to be had with parents or it's such a new technology. It's got adopted so quickly that
we haven't yet understood how to develop I think behaviors around them. You know like like the process food
generation in the 70s and 80s like it was so fast and everybody's like, this is great.
Now we know, probably not the best thing to eat every single day or whatever.
Maybe we could talk about those a little bit.
I think it's different with kids than it is with adults.
Your brains get wired.
There's a different level of plasticity with children's brains if I'm not mistaken.
Can their brains get more wired to seek these things out because
they're exposed to them so early? Yeah, I mean, I think there's a lot going on here with
the discussion. But I think one important point is that we've been here before, right? That
society's developed what's called social antibodies, that when we learn that a behavior is harmful to us,
we're not stupid, right?
If you go to the grocery store and you buy an apple
and that apple is rotten,
maybe you'll give the store another chance,
but if you go back and buy another rotten apple,
you're gonna stop buying from that store.
And what people are finding is if a product
is hurting them, guess what, they moderate their use,
they look for a competitor product to use instead,
or they stop using it all together.
And that's exactly what we find happening
with people's phones.
That people are learning, hey, wait a minute,
there's a right place in a wrong place
to use these technologies.
And I love that.
I think that's great.
If you, I have no ties to these companies,
if you don't want to use them, great.
If they don't serve you, dumb them.
What I don't think is helpful is to say,
ah, that's what's doing it to me.
That's what's doing it to our kids.
I mean, if you think about how far we've come
in terms of smoking in this country,
how did that happen?
Well, of course, legislation definitely played a role,
but a big part of it, I remember when I was growing up
in the 80s, we had ash trays all over our house.
My parents didn't smoke, my dad had given up smoke
in years before. My mom never
smoked. And yet we had these ash trays all over the place. And I remember people, and that
was because back in the 80s, if you came to someone's house, you just expected to be able
to light up in their living room.
Oh, that's interesting.
Can you imagine if someone lit up in your living room, like my wife would throw that person
out on the street if someone tried to just light up in my living room without asking or going
outside or something. And so how did that happen?
There's no law.
He said, okay, well, legislation changed.
Well, there's no law that says you can't smoke
in someone's living room.
What changes that we adopted?
New norms, new social behaviors
around the appropriate time to use technology.
And I've already seen this happening.
So when I used to teach at Stanford,
the first year I taught,
I would see half my students on their phones during class.
And then as time went on, people started to realize, wait a minute, if I'm on my phone, I'm not really concentrating on what the professor is lecturing about. I'm not going to do as well
in my test. And they started moderating that behavior. And now we actually, we have words for this,
fubbing. Fubbing is phone snubbing. It's when you're with somebody and you're out to dinner or
lunch or something, and they take out their phone. They're snubbing you.
They're fubbing you, phone snubbing you.
And people are learning that these kind of behaviors are rude.
And so we adapt our behaviors,
and we adopt new technologies to help us put
these bad aspects in their place.
So one of the tools to putting technology in this place
is using tech to fight tech. So one of the tools to putting technology in this place is using tech to fight tech.
So one of the things my daughter uses, and I use it for her frequently, is this app called Forrest.
It's a free app.
You open the app, you dial in how much time you want to do focused work for.
It's a very simple interface.
And when you push Go, a little virtual tree is planted.
And if you pick up the phone and do anything with it,
the little virtual tree dies.
Okay, you don't want to be a tree murder, right?
And so that free tool, this technology,
is a way that we can use tech against tech, right?
It's just like how car manufacturers
started putting in seatbelts in cars
17 years before any legislation mandated it.
Why?
Because guess what, say for cars sell better.
And that's exactly what the tech companies are doing now
with Apple screen time and Google Well-Being.
It's exactly what they're doing.
No, I like, I really like what you're saying.
And I appreciate everything you're saying.
You use the example of cigarettes.
And yes, we do, humans, societally, we do adapt
and change our behaviors 100%.
Sometimes it takes a long time though.
Takes time.
Like cigarettes killed a lot of people for a long time before we started changing our
behaviors.
We're still in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
I'm seeing signs that it's starting to change.
People are starting to change their behaviors.
How long do you think it's going to take for us to really suffer the consequences of addiction to technology
or whatever.
And do we know how great the consequences will be for the parents that didn't pick up
on this five years ago and handed their three-year-old a phone and their three-year-old's been
doing it for five, six years consistently for three, five hours a day?
Well, this is exactly the conversation I'm trying to facilitate, right? By writing indistractable, I'm trying to accelerate the process of spreading these social antibodies,
of learning these techniques so that all of us can become indistractable.
I don't think we have any other choice because the tech isn't going away.
So the faster we learn these techniques, the faster we teach them to our children,
the better off I think society will be.
What are some of these techniques?
Sure. So, okay. so we talked about the first one
is to master these internal triggers.
That's the very first step.
We have to understand that time management is pain management
and in order to not get distracted,
we have to do what we say we're going to do,
we have to be able to channel those uncomfortable sensations
towards traction as opposed to distraction.
That's the first big strategy.
The second big strategy is to make time for traction,
that most people don't keep any sort of a calendar.
And I learned this in my five years of research writing
and distractable, I would meet with a lot of folks.
I had one friend who said,
I'm so distracted these days, I can't get anything done
because you hear what happened in the news today
and this happened on Twitter and my boss wants this over Slack and my kid is texting me, I can't get anything done because you hear what happened in the news today and this happened on Twitter
and my boss wants this over Slack
and my kid is texting me, I can't get anything done,
I'm constantly distracted.
And I said, wow, that's really rough.
What did you get distracted from today?
Can you show me what you plan to do?
What's on your calendar?
And she said, well, let me take a look
and she took out her calendar.
And she said, well, I got a dentist appointment today.
There was nothing else on her calendar.
So here's the thing, you can't call something a distraction
unless you know what it distracted you from.
If you didn't plan to do anything.
Exactly.
If you have white space on your calendar,
of course, you know what you're going to do with that white space.
You're going to put it around on Instagram.
But if you plan your day, and by the way,
this isn't some pet technique. This has been verified in thousands of studies.
Psychologists call this making an implementation intention, just a fancy way of saying,
planning out what you're gonna do and when you're going to do it. It's one of the most
effective techniques you could possibly use to do what it is you say you're gonna do.
But very few people do this in their day-to-day lives. They just complain they're distracted,
but they didn't know what they got distracted from.
So that's the second step is to make time for traction.
The third step is to hack back the external triggers.
The external triggers, the pings and dings on our phones
and our computers in our office environments,
how much distraction is caused by an open floor plan office.
Tons of distraction comes from the fact that we just work
today in offices without doors.
And so people are constantly distracted when they walk by each other's desk.
Well, it turns out you can do something about that.
So every copy of Indistractable comes with this screen sign.
It's a piece of card stock.
You pull it out of the book.
You fold it into thirds and you put it on your computer monitor.
And it says, I'm indistractable at the moment.
Please come back later.
And this technique has been shown to be very, very effective
to just give you some headspace.
Let me just concentrate for a little bit.
It sets the cultural norm around the office
that we don't constantly need to be reactive to everything.
Sometimes we need time to reflect as well.
And then the fourth step is to prevent distraction with Pax.
So that's where we use technology to help us stay on task. It's where there are three types of Pact,
effort packs, price packs, and identity packs, and these pre-commimmants help us stay on track. Because if there's one thing
I want folks to remember, the one mantra on this book that I think is really the biggest takeaway, is that the antidote to impulsiveness is
antidote to impulsiveness is forethought. We've placed too much emphasis on self-control and willpower.
You only want to use that stuff when you really, really need it. I mean, I wrote this book for me because I've never been one who had a lot of self-control and willpower. That's why I wrote this book
because I needed to figure out how to make sure I did what I said I'm going to do. And so the way
you do it is not by needing willpower and self control at all.
What you need are systems so that when the time comes,
you do the right thing.
If the chocolate cake is on its way to your mouth,
it's too late.
It's a cigarette is lit and you're about to take a puff,
you've lost.
If you're sleeping next to your cell phone on your nightstand,
they're gonna get you.
But here's the thing, there's no algorithm
that we can't fight against.
There's no mind hijacking technology that we can't fight against, there's no mind
hijacking technology that we can't do something about.
If we do something about it in advance,
the antidote to impulsiveness is forethought.
If we plan ahead, we can become indestructible.
Now, what is the research saying in terms
of some of the side effects of not doing
or following some of these steps?
Like what's happening right now?
Because people aren't structuring things in a way
that's gonna prevent them from getting so...
That's gin-tour-aise, I-g-in.
Have you read I-g-in?
Jean-twenty?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I actually did a debate with her
at the Colorado Mental Health Institute.
God, I should have had you guys all the room together.
It would have been way more fun.
I mean, kids are a particularly interesting field,
and it's the one where the research is unbelievably bad.
Terrible.
The research and what you've seen in terms of the headlines
of, you know, smartphones are destroying a generation.
It's rubbish.
So here's the thing.
People don't understand the difference between effect
and effect size.
So lots of things can have an effect,
meaning there's correlation between variable X and Y.
But that one doesn't say causation, right?
Correlation does not prove causation.
And it also doesn't tell us very much about the effect size.
So these studies that people highlight as, look, you know, people's kids well-being is decreasing.
And there's more depression, there's more anxiety, there's more suicide.
The effect of social media,
there's been studies that actually went back
and looked at that data that Gene Twing used.
And there was a study that appeared in scientific American
that found that the effect size of social media use,
of screen time on kids,
was as much as eating potatoes.
Much less than the effect of wearing glasses
or getting a bad night's sleep.
So yes, is there effect?
Yes.
PUNY, very, very small.
And only for the kids who are using in excessive amounts,
we're talking three or four or five hours a day.
No study has found that two hours or less
of extracurricular age appropriate screen time
has any deleterious effects on kids.
So from that, I would say just avoid potatoes.
Avoid potatoes.
Don't eat them, Dan.
Well, so near, with these studies,
one thing that I always wonder is,
I wonder if there's a bit of a bias
because people who are anxious
may use these social media tools more anyway.
Right.
So they might necessarily be causing the problem,
but rather they're just the result of the fact
that the person's already feeling a particular way.
Absolutely.
And we've seen this for years
when it comes to addiction research, right?
That we know that people anesthetize themselves
with different substances, right?
And so when it comes to kids,
this is really what kind of pisses me off
about the current
debate and how the media loves this story, promoting that technology and social media is doing this
to kids because it's obviscating what's really going on, what's really going on, the root cause of
the problem is not the technology. It's that our kids are deficient in what's called psychological
nutrients. So there's a theory of human motivation called self-determination theory.
This is 40, 50-year-old research.
It's the most widely accepted and studied theory of human motivation.
It's done by Desi and Ryan.
So Desi and Ryan say that every human being on the face of the earth, in order for psychological
flourishing, needs three things, three of these psychological nutrients.
So we have our macro nutrients for our body, carbohydrates, protein, and fat,
for our psychological well-being.
We need a sense of competency, autonomy, and relatedness,
competency, autonomy, and relatedness.
Every one of us needs it, especially our kids.
But when we look at the state of children in America today,
they are deficient in these three psychological nutrients.
So take competency.
Along with the rise of the use of technology
over the past decade or so,
something else has happened,
which is the rise of standardized testing.
No child left behind started this process in motion
and today teachers teach towards the test.
And so we have a subset of children in this country
who are
told constantly, you are not competent. And so what do you do when you don't feel competent
in the real world? Well, the gaming companies are happy to give you a product that makes
you feel like God, play Minecraft, world of Warcraft, you feel like you're in control,
you feel incredibly competent, and that feels good. Autonomy.
So the second thing that we need for psychological wellbeing,
we need the sense of autonomy, freedom, control over our decisions.
Well, this is the most regulated generation in American history.
Peter Gray found that the average American child today
has 10 times as many restrictions placed on them as an adult,
twice as many as an incarcerated felon.
So there are only two places in society
where we can tell people where to go,
what to think, what to eat, who to be friends with,
and that's prison and school.
And so is it any surprise that when kids come home
from this hyper-regulated environment,
they want freedom, they want control, they want agency.
And so where do they go to find it?
Well, for tonight makes you feel free.
You can do whatever you want in Fortnite.
And then finally, Relativeness,
probably the most important of the three.
We know that being understood by others
and having others understand us
is absolutely critical for psychological wellbeing
and flourishing.
We have to feel relatedness.
But it turns out that kids today
have our deficient in an activity that is absolutely critical
for their well-being, which is free play.
There's been a 50 year collapse in the number of hours
that kids spend in free play.
Totally, 100%.
And what's happened, and this has happened for two reasons.
One, the media has freaked everybody out
in thinking that, you know, stranger danger
and your kids gonna get abducted,
even though this is the safest time in American history
to be a kid, kids,
parents don't let their kids play outside anymore.
Last year there was a couple in Maryland
that got arrested for letting their homeschool kids
walk one mile to a playground.
They were negligent parents for letting their kids
go out and explore and play.
And so parents are either keeping their kids indoors
or we're hyper scheduling them.
And so after school it's CUMON and swimming lessons
and Mandarin and they're so hyper scheduled
and they're constantly monitored by either a parent
or a coach and there's no time for play.
Well play is where we learn our place in the world.
It's one thing if a parent tells a kid,
hey chill out, be nice.
It's a whole another thing.
If a peer says, if you're not nice to me,
I'm not gonna play with you, screw you. That is a whole nother thing if a peer says, if you're not nice to me, I'm not gonna play with you, screw you.
That is a whole nother ball game.
And kids need this.
It is as important as the CUMON and the test prep
and the Mandarin lessons is to give your kid time
for free play.
And guess what happens if they don't have time for free play?
Well, their sense of relatedness is not met.
And if it's not met offline,
well, they've got Instagram,
they've got TikTok, they've got Snapchat.
That's where they feel relatedness,
just like we used to do on the phone
when we were growing up.
And so that's the real source of the problem.
If we don't tackle that problem,
we're not getting to the real issue.
We're just blaming a proximal cause.
So we're basically looking at a symptom.
We're not looking at the,
you're blowing my mind right now.
No, it's making a lot of incredible, incredible points.
I want to circle back to both Adam and Jen
and since you know them both
and actually have debated them,
what are some things you guys see eye to eye
and what are things that you're just, no, what are,
okay, so there's a lot more that we see eye to eye on
in terms of the practical implications.
Okay.
So it's interesting.
So John Height is a friend of mine. He wrote the book Coddling of the American Mind and we have some disagreements in terms of the practical implications. So it's interesting. So John Height is a friend of mine.
He wrote the book Coddling of the American Mind.
And we have some disagreements in terms of
what's causing the problem, big disagreements
in terms of what's causing the problem.
I believe it's a symptom, not the cause.
But when we sat down together,
so we both have, he has a 10 year old,
I have an 11 year old daughter.
And when we sat down together and we said,
well, what do you actually do in your household?
It was very similar. Funny enough. First rule, if the social media
companies tell you that the age restriction of using their products is 13, please listen
to them. Why are we letting 10 year olds on Instagram? The company tells you, don't let
your kid use this until they're 13. So I think no social media until high school, maybe even later.
There's just no need for it. I think middle school is hard enough without social media.
There's no need for that, especially when the companies tell you don't let your kid use this, okay?
Follow what they say. That's that's the first thing.
Then I think what we can do is to start having a conversation with our kids.
So what happens when we impose very strict rules and we say, you know, if you go on YouTube,
you can find literally thousands of videos of So what happens when we impose very strict rules and we say, you know, if you go on YouTube,
you can find literally thousands of videos of parents smashing their kids' iPhone and
kicking the Xbox and you know, all this terrible stuff.
That's not teaching kids how to be responsible.
Remember, we're not raising kids.
We're raising future adults.
And so, you know, you can be heavy handed while they're in the house.
You know what they're going to do in college?
You know what they're going to do after they leave.
They're going to go nuts.
And so the idea is to teach them how to be indestructible today.
Well, how do we do that?
We start by involving them in the conversation.
So in my daughter was five years old.
We sat down with her and we said, look, watching a video on your iPad, playing an app, it's
not bad for you.
It's not melting your brain.
We don't need these hysterics in our kids' mind because remember, we also want them
to be tech literate. So don't freak your kid out thinking that technology is bad, it's not melting your brain. We don't need these hysterics in our kids' mind because remember, we also want them to be tech literate.
So don't freak your kid out thinking that technology
is bad, it's hijacking your brain.
No, we want them to be comfortable with technology.
But the price of technology, the cost is an opportunity cost.
The cost of spending time on the iPad
is spending time with your friends,
not going to the community pool, not playing outside,
not spending time with mom and dad. So how much time do you want in your friends, not going to the community pool, not playing outside, not spending time with mom and dad.
So how much time do you want in your day,
given all the things you want to do,
to spend time on your iPad?
And she thought she was getting a deal.
She said, how about two episodes?
Two episodes on Netflix is 45 minutes.
As I said before, two hours or less of extracurricular
screen time has no negative effects that we've seen.
So I'm fine with that, 45 minutes, but how do you make sure that you abide by your own rule?
That's what I asked her. And she said, well, what if I go to the microwave? We used to have this
microwave that was below the countertop. So she could walk up to the microwave. She pushed the
timer for 45 minutes. And when the timer beeped, she knew it was time to stop. Now she actually
uses Amazon Alexa. She says Alexa, set a timer for 45 minutes, she knew it was time to stop. Now she actually uses Amazon Alexa.
She says Alexa set a timer for 45 minutes,
or she uses Apple screen time.
It's built right into the iPad.
It's free.
And now, here's the beauty of it.
I'm not the bad guy.
I'm not the one saying, get off that device.
She made a rule for herself.
And so I gave her agency autonomy
that psychological need of controlling her decisions
so that she can make
her own choices and learn how to become indestructible herself.
So those are just some quick tips.
Now, you kind of answer this for me already in terms of kids and free play and how important
that is, but for adults, how important is it to, you know, apply boredom and live in boredom
in friends with boredom?
So I'm not going to tell people what to do with their time.
What I want to help people do is to help them recognize what their values are
and then encourage them to turn their values into time.
So we talked about earlier this idea of make time for traction.
This idea that if you don't know what you want to do with your time,
then everything is a distraction. You have to plan your day.
So if one of your values is to be the kind of person who takes care of their body,
well then great, make time for going to the gym or taking a walk or doing push-ups,
whatever it is that is in accordance with your values. If one of your values is to have time
for contemplation, then yes, book time to meditate, to go on a walk, to be bored for a little bit. So in this day and age, you know, one of the prices of all of this progress is that there
are so many options out there that if you don't plan your day someone else will, which means
that you have to be intentional about having time for reflection, time for boredom, time
to do these things, or it's not going to happen.
But if it's important to you, I say absolutely schedule time for it. What does the research say on how the brain models itself after being switching from
app to app and getting those dopamine hits as they would say in some of these other books?
Is the research to show that the brain starts to adapt in a way to maybe become less excited
for normal things
because you're looking at things that are designed
to hit those neural sweet spots or whatever.
Well, anytime you hear folks talk about dopamine pathways,
we should have our spidey senses kick in
because there's a neuroscience joke,
I'm sure you're not gonna find this funny,
but the neuroscience joke goes,
what's the role of dopamine in the brain?
The role of dopamine is to confuse neuroscientists.
Because dopamine does a lot of things.
The way the media talks about dopamine is like it's cocaine.
Dopamine is not cocaine, okay?
Dopamine squirts are not a hit.
It's not how it works.
Dopamine is released whenever we learn a behavior,
when you learn to play the piano, dopamine.
When you watch a movie and it's fun,
it's interesting, it's exciting, dopamine.
When you fall in love, dopamine, it's everywhere.
Anytime we learn a behavior,
but just because dopamine is released
doesn't mean it's creating an addiction.
Now, the dopamine system is involved in addiction,
but it's not what causes addiction.
And so it's not, it's very different, you know, our behaviors with a device are very, very
different than, you know, a substance that enters the body and breaks the blood brain barrier.
We're not injecting Instagram. We're not free-basing Facebook here. It's a whole another category.
Not yet. Not yet. I want to make that a thing. We're not plugging into the matrix quite yet. Free base. So there's no research. So I'll
use another example. I've read studies and maybe you can correct me on this if I'm wrong,
but I've read studies on how pornography reduces the stimulus that especially young males
will get from real life. So you're seeing erectile dysfunction increases in young men
because of the use of pornography,
where it's so novel that real life
doesn't get them excited anymore.
Does something like that similar happen
when we're using other forms of technology
where real life becomes more boring
because other things are more exciting?
Well, for some people, that's the case.
So this is where I think the conversation gets a little muddy because a technology can
be addictive and not addict everyone.
So building a tolerance is one of these traits of how we know someone has an addiction that
they need more and more of that stimulus, whether it's a substance, whether it's a behavior,
if it's a gambling disorder, et cetera.
But there's a big difference between the kind of person
who that happens to and everyone else.
And so, and we know this to be true across the board, right?
This shouldn't be a revelation because,
you know, if you think about alcohol, right?
A lot of us have a beer with dinner.
We're not all alcoholics.
Not everyone who has sex is a sex addict.
Not everyone who gambles is a problem gambler.
If we play poker once in a while.
And yet some people do go overboard.
Some people do have this insatiable,
uncontrollable dependence on a behavior or substance
that harms them.
That's the nature of addiction.
So some people do have that tendency
and it turns out that addiction is never just about the substance.
And we've been fighting this perception
for quite a long time.
I mean, this is Nancy Reagan saying,
just say no, that it's just about the drugs,
is just as ridiculous today as it was in the 1980s.
It's never just about the drugs.
Nobody steps on a heroin needle
and becomes a heroin addict.
That's not how it works.
Millions of women every year are given fentanyl,
fentanyl, the most addictive substance we know of
when they get a cesarean section. But a tiny, tiny proportion, if fentanyl is so addictive,
why don't they all come out as junkies? They don't, because it's never just about the substance.
A tiny percentage of those women ever become addicted to fentanyl.
So addiction is a confluence of three factors. One is the product, one is the addictive substance,
but there's two other factors.
The other thing is the person, right?
So when people have a predilection for addiction,
we know that particularly in children,
I spoke with many experts who study internet use disorder
or what they're calling gaming disorders today,
and what these professionals told me
is that across the board, 100% of the children
that they treat with as gaming use disorder, 100% of them have comorbidity with something
else going on. Obsessive compulsive disorder, severe trauma, something else was going on
in their life.
They're using it to Medicaid.
That's right. Bingo. So there's, and a lot of times there's obsessive compulsive disorder
is very highly correlated with addiction disorder as well.
That, you know, across substances, that there's something about individuals, whether it's,
we don't know if it's genetics, what's exactly going on.
Some people do appear to have a propensity towards addiction, but there's a third component.
And that third component, along with the product, the person, the third component is the pain.
That we know that when people are passing through periods of their life, when they have
intense pain that they cannot otherwise cope with, one of the strategies they use is to
self-medicate.
So, there were studies done on Vietnam vets.
In the 1960s, we had a generation of soldiers coming back from Vietnam.
About a third of them were at the time,
according to these studies, addicted to heroin,
or some kind of substance.
And there was a real fear in the Nixon administration
that when these veterans came home,
they would continue to use,
and this would create a drug epidemic in this country.
But it never happened.
Because when these veterans came home,
the vast majority of them stopped using heroin
because they
were no longer in the hellscape of the Vietnam War.
And without the need to escape psychologically, without that pain in their life, that they
were looking to escape, and with the support system of their family, their jobs, their kids,
all of these things that they needed to help them cope with pain in a normal, healthy fashion,
they didn't need the substance anymore.
So to that point, let's talk about the potential future then.
We made the point already, and I think it's such a good point, that we're eliminating
free play, we're putting more restriction on kids, the gaming industry, and all these
tools are getting better.
And I think we can agree that technology continues to get better
and that which would include that making the properties of them more addictive
or more fun to play however you want to say it and rewarding those kids,
giving them that freedom.
I mean, what do you think about what's going to happen in the next 10 years?
Are we going to get worse before we get better?
What are your thoughts?
I mean, I see a movie like Sargates and I can't help but think like, you know, will we end up like this where the virtual world is more fun or more rewarding for most
people than it is being in reality? Like, is that a possibility of our future? Anything's possible.
Right. I do think the world is probably going to become more potentially distracting. I do think the world is going to bifurcate into people who decide, no, my attention and
my life is going to be controlled by me, those people are called indistractable, and people
who aren't aware that their attention and their lives are being manipulated by others.
It's not just the tech companies.
Your kids can be distractions, your spouse can be a distraction, your boss can be a distraction,
the news can be a distraction. Lots of things can be distractions, your spouse can be a distraction, your boss can be a distraction, the news can be a distraction, lots of things can be distractions in your life. And I think that
there will be this bifurcation of people who realize what's going on, realize that they are being
pulled to do things they don't necessarily want to do in the later regret versus those that say,
okay, I want to plan my attention and plan my life. And I do think definitely that there is the
possibility that as technology becomes more pervasive and persuasive,
it likely will become more distracting.
However, that being said, there's no technology
that I've seen to date,
who knows what's gonna happen in the future,
that we can't do something about with forethought.
The technology's good.
It's not that good.
I agree, I mean, my theory, my belief is that,
and I've been saying this for a long time on the show,
that we're going to have this split.
And I don't know if it's gonna be right down the middle
or what, and we'll have the,
the what I call plugged in, and then the unplugged.
There'll be a half of the population or whatever,
that hears what you're saying, takes heed to it and says,
hey, we need to, we need to take control of our lives.
I want to live amongst people and interact with real people.
And then there'll be a other half of the population that says life is miserable, but it's
amazing in this virtual world.
And I don't want it.
I've already tried to be with other people, and this is so much better.
I don't fuck it.
I'd rather be plugged in all day long and live in this world instead.
Do you believe that's a possibility?
I mean, it could be, but to some degree, that's not all bad.
It's bad if you think that there are people who became this way, that they became techno
hermits.
I would argue that there have always been people who are shy, who are socially isolated, and who
find solace and comfort and connection through online means.
Right?
You know how many folks?
You can argue that it could save lives, right?
You can actually do save lives.
People that were going to be suicidal that are now finding pleasure in connecting online
now.
Absolutely.
I remember so when, so in the early 90s my brother came out and back then I
remember that coming out was a big deal like I grew up in Central Florida very conservative part
of the country. I mean we used to call like if I didn't like your hat that hats gay that's what
people would say. I mean it was the term it was just totally different from how we thought of it
today being gay was such a terrible thing.
I went to my guidance counselor at my middle school.
I was in middle school the time when I found out.
I was wrecked.
All I could do was talk to this guidance counselor who was not all that helpful.
But today, through the miracle of these online technologies, I could have gone to an online
forum of LGBTQ friends who are LGBTQ.
I could have met with other people who
are struggling with the same stuff.
So we talk about all the bad stuff that technology does, but we don't really give credit to all
the good stuff it does as well.
You know, one of the things that talk about the debate I had with Jane Twainty about her
book, Igen, you know, we show one chart in terms of suicide among teens.
Has risen.
It's true.
But what they don't show you is the rest of the graph.
If you start the graph from 2012,
that was a historic record low for teen suicide
in this country.
And so you see rise.
But if you go back far enough to the 1980s,
it was about as same as it is today.
Oh no shit.
Yes.
Yes, I hate those.
I hate wanting to do that shit.
Yeah, I said it gets worse.
That's true, wow. It gets worse. Not only that, if we say, okay, the tech don't want to do that shit. Gosh, that gets me. That's true, wow.
It gets worse, it gets worse.
Not only that, if we say, okay,
the tech is doing it to our kids,
then when we would expect wherever there is the tech,
wherever there's social media,
we should see an equal rise.
Well, it's only happening in America and the UK
and no other OECD countries, not happening in Japan.
They've had tech longer than these type of technologies,
longer than we have, not happening in the Nordic countries, not happening in most of Europe. They've had the same social networks, they've had tech longer than these type of technologies, longer than we have, not happening in the Nordic countries,
not happening in most of Europe.
They've had the same social networks,
they've had the same cell phones, no increase in suicide.
Furthermore, it's not even happening in a geographically distributed way in America.
Teen suicide is not rising in urban areas.
It's only rising in rural areas.
In the heartland.
Why?
If it's the technology doing it to us,
in fact, kids in urban areas
have a greater rates of cell phone penetration.
There's something happening in the heartland in this country,
some kind of cancer that we don't understand.
And we blame, we put all the data together,
and we cut and slice and dice the graphs the way we want.
And we say, oh, an easy solution to a big problem.
It's the new boogie man.
Yes.
You're blowing my mind right now.
Absolutely blowing my mind.
And one other thing that popped up for me
as you were talking about this is I think of
how fast movements take hold today versus before
because of technology.
I mean, in 2008, there wasn't a single mainstream politician
that would campaign for gay marriage back on that topic.
Not a single one.
Barack Obama was against gay marriage
when he campaigned to become the president.
Four years later, it was political suicide
to hold that position.
You had to campaign for in support of gay marriage.
And that is because of technology.
Marijuana legalization.
Never would have happened.
Now because of technology and the fact
that information gets spread so quickly,
these movements happen very, very quickly.
So I think when we're talking about this,
how technology's rising so quickly,
I think identifying the abuse of them
is probably gonna happen faster.
I mean, the fact that we're having this conversation right now
and it hasn't been around super long.
Wasn't that long ago that nobody had a cell phone?
Right.
It wasn't what generation not even ago.
We remember that, right?
It was, it's our lifetime.
Now what do you think about this?
Here's one other fear that people have,
is that because social media's algorithms are designed
to kind of give you more of what you want,
that people are less exposed to differing opinions,
to different ways of thinking.
And it's some people say it's making people more extreme.
So like if you're a liberal, for example,
all the news you're gonna get is gonna confirm
what you think and you're gonna get less and less stuff
telling you the opposite.
Because you watch Fox News all day.
Now is that true?
Well, I'm saying it have joking here,
because what's new here?
Right.
Right, we blame social media for filter bubbles
and only exposing us to one viewpoint.
Let's go back a few years to cable news, right?
People who watch Fox News all day long
as their only source of news,
they are also seeing only one side of the story.
Go back even further.
There's a quote that says that Sunday
is the most segregated day of the week
because when people went to their churches,
they would hear an opinion before the days of mass media.
They would hear the opinion of the prisoner,
of the leader of that congregation,
and they would hear one point of view.
So filter bubbles are nothing new.
This has happened for a very, very long time.
And if anything, I think what this is exposed, again,
back to that Paul Verilio quote,
when you invent the ship, you invent the ship wreck.
And what you said about how young these companies are, these companies
are teenagers, right? Facebook started in 2006. So these are brand new companies. 13, 14
years old companies, they're not very big. And we are experienced with these companies is
very much also like a teenager with alcohol. So when you first try booze, you go a little overboard, you wake up the next morning, you
have a bad hangover and you said, oh, I'm never going to do that again.
And we're doing it as a society.
Let's regulate these guys.
Let's shut them down.
That's what we're all saying because we have this social media hangover.
But that's not the right answer.
You don't stick with that for very long.
You grow up and you learn how to hold your liquor and you learn how to use it responsibly.
And that's what we are going through right now as a society.
And so what's happening, look, we are learning now,
and I think the message has gotten out there,
that if you're only source of news,
is Facebook and Twitter, something's wrong.
Right, can we all agree?
That's kind of a shitty place to get your news every day?
It's even a joke to my buddies and I have.
Right.
Would you get that Twitter?
Exactly.
Exactly. Yeah, so when it comes with something on one side way hard. That's what we say to each other and once again
We've been here before the national inquire the national inquire at one point was a legitimate newspaper now if somebody says oh
I get my news through the national inquire you're a moron
Exactly and that's exactly what so people aren't stupid
We realized the New York Times or the Wall Street Journal is a bit more credible than what you see in your Facebook news feed,
and you filter that out.
And in fact, technology is facilitating dialogue,
because I think most of us,
we talk about the fringe people who only watch Fox News
or only watch an MSNBC or only watch one source,
but I think the vast majority of people do value
a conversation.
I mean, everybody tuning in today,
values a conversation, we value a conversation, and technology facilitates that as well. I mean, everybody tuning in today, values a conversation, we value a conversation,
and technology facilitates that as well.
I mean, there's this website, I think it's called
ChangeMyMind.com or something like that,
ChangeMyApennian.com, where it's this just this forum
of people having a discussion, Reddit, does this all the time?
I've seen stuff like this where they'll have a topic
and then they'll pick the top best debates,
arguments on either side of it.
In fact, I visit websites like that all the time. Exactly. Yeah, really, really valuable. And it turns out so does everybody debates, arguments, either side of it. In fact, I visit websites like that all the time.
Exactly.
Yeah, really, really valuable.
And it turns out so does everybody else do, except for the fringes.
There are always fringes.
But I think most people in our society, thankfully, do want a perspective.
Yeah.
And one thing I'm very much against regulating, having government interference in these
technologies, because that's like giving the devil the keys.
Like, if you, then if you really really wanna see it get manipulated, give it,
who says they can do it better?
Yeah, yeah, give it to the people who have the ability
to legislate and throw people in prison.
I got a big problem.
It's a great point.
It's a great point.
And another thing that we talked about in that debate
around kids, another graph that blew my mind
the more researched it, we only show that one graph
of suicide going up and we talked about why that graph
isn't exactly the best graph to look at.
What they don't show you is that every other metric of kids' health and safety today is
so much better.
Amazing.
If you look at murder rates, truancy, pregnancy, drug use, all of these things are at record
lows.
Literally, the graphs are like this.
California has prisons empty.
This was the generation of the super predator.
Remember, the super predator?
This is supposed to be the generation.
It's supposed to be happening right now.
It's not happening.
Well, let's think for a second, why is that?
Well, maybe part of it.
If we're gonna blame technology for the bad stuff,
maybe it's also the fact that instead of, you know,
doing the crap that we used to do as teenagers, right?
The vandalism or violence or whatever kids used to do as kids.
Now they're indoors playing games.
So if you wanted to invent a device
to keep kids safe at home, off the streets,
maybe the knife phone's not such a bad device.
So it's interesting to bring that up
because we just had recently,
somebody tried a kidnap,
somebody in our local community
But everybody's shared that information and shared the drawing of this person and then he was apprehended within a couple hours
Wow, and it's just like that wouldn't happen. They wouldn't happen
They would have put posters up and just hope for the best. Wow. That's a good point. Are you familiar with the website human progress dot org?
No, okay, so phenomenal website and phenomenal website. And it was designed to counter all the bad scary news.
And so if you go on their shows like,
oh, you know, we've lifted more people out of poverty
than last three decades than all of human history,
you know, that, you know,
literary serates are going through the roof.
But a lot of people don't know about it
because it's easy to scare the shit out of people.
It's really hard to do the opposite.
That's right.
Do you feel like you're just fighting a billbell?
Yes.
Yes, and what's so ironic that I think a lot of folks don't realize is that when the
New York Times or the Atlantic publishes an article that's fear-mongering, that just shows
one side of the story.
Smartphones are destroying a generation.
They're in the same goddamn business as Facebook.
They're monetizing your eyeballs.
They are attention merchants.
What business do you think Facebook is in?
Same business, they sell ads.
And so that's why they keep promoting the story.
So when I write a story and I get published on the Atlantic,
it doesn't get as many clicks because my stories are about,
hey, guess what, things aren't actually so bad guys.
Nobody likes to hear that.
Exactly.
No, your tech talk doesn't even have enough views.
It should have way more views than what it has.
And so I've come to peace knowing that I don't want,
I don't need everyone.
I don't need the sensationalists.
I want the people who want both sides
and can make up their own minds.
That's why I love podcasts so much.
Because I mean, thank goodness that we have this medium
because I can't tell my story in a 30-second sound bite.
A 30-second sound bite is,
technology's hijacking your brain.
Yeah, you lost.
Yeah, exactly.
I have to sit down with you for maybe not 30,
you know, maybe not 30 seconds, maybe three minutes.
I need to show you a little bit of information,
a little bit of data, tell you about the whole story.
And I say, oh, okay, maybe there's another side here.
I tell you what, Near, you're blowing my mind.
I love everything that you're saying,
but I think what you need to do is work with like political strategists and figure out how to make what
you're saying scary. If you don't, if you don't do what I'm saying, then this is what's
going to have something like that. Did you, near, did you, the debate with
Jin, was that a video? Did you? Yes. Yeah. It's on my website. It is. Yeah. Oh, awesome.
Yeah. Yeah. What's your website? Share it. What website. It is. Yeah. Oh awesome. Yeah, yeah. We'll just share it. Yeah, it's near and far.com
Near, but like my first name NIR near and far. All right. We'll make sure to put that in the show notes. Yeah.
I really appreciate you coming on the show. Yeah, great pleasure. No, this is excellent. And it's funny. It's because it's like almost every topic that we tend to get so freaked out about.
Yeah, ends up like this. And if you really look at it and this has been something I've talked about for a long time,
if you look at how humans have progressed throughout time,
we get better.
Yeah, we work it out at the end.
We tend to get better.
We're pretty smart.
Yeah, we're pretty smart.
Right, and that doesn't mean we shouldn't point out the problems.
And there are real problems with technology.
Absolutely.
I just don't think we should focus on the wrong problems.
Let's focus on the real problems here.
And to your point earlier about what's the fear, I think the fear is when we spread this
untruth that technology is addicting us, that it's hijacking our brains, there's nothing
we can do that's irresistible, that is actually the danger.
Because of this aspect of learned helplessness, when we perpetuate this idea that there's
nothing you can do, people don't do anything about it.
They don't take responsibility for themselves and do these very simple things. Exactly. Perfect. Well, thanks for coming on the show
here. That was absolutely. Thank you for listening to Mind Pump. If your goal is to
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