Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 1182: The 5 B’s to Finding Your Purpose
Episode Date: December 12, 2019In this episode, Sal, Adam and Justin discuss the importance of having a purpose and five ways that have helped them identify their own. How do you figure out what your purpose is? Why is it importan...t? (1:49) When timing and opportunity align with talent in what you were shaped to do is when you find purpose. (7:30) Why motivation is bullshit if you don’t have a sense of purpose. (11:15) The 5 B’s to Finding Your Purpose. (12:40) #1 - Be brave. (12:55) #2 – Be willing to give. (22:25) #3 – Be mindful of your value system. (29:33) #4 – Be aware of the company you keep. (38:31) #5 – Be healthy. (49:58) People Mentioned Jason Phillips (@jasonphillipsisnutrition) Instagram Gary Vay-Ner-Chuk (@garyvee) Instagram Bishop Robert Barron (@bishopbarron) Instagram Ryan Holiday (@ryanholiday) Instagram Joe De Sena (@realJoeDeSena) Twitter Related Links/Products Mentioned December Promotion: MAPS Aesthetic ½ off! **Code “BLACK50” at checkout** How the 25 Richest Americans Failed Miserably Mind Pump 1165: Bishop Robert Barron on Physical Fitness, Satan, Evolution, Psychedelics & Much More Mind Pump 1155: Ryan Holiday Eleven Rings: The Soul of Success - Book by Hugh Delehanty and Phil Jackson Bikram: Yogi, Guru, Predator | Netflix Official Site Mind Pump Free Resources
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If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go.
MIND, MIND, MIND, MIND, MIND, MIND, with your hosts.
Salda Stefano, Adam Schaefer, and Justin Andrews.
In this episode of Mind Pump, Adam Justin and I talk all about purpose.
You know, we, we, Adam and I recently did a talk at a fitness gathering.
There's a lot of like-minded individuals and this kept popping up like what is your
purpose?
Why is finding your purpose important?
What does that even look like?
And so we kind of listed out the things that we found that helped us find our purpose.
So this is kind of a personal account. And we were able to number them.
It was five of them.
We call them the five Bs to finding your purpose.
The first one is to be brave.
Second one is to be willing to give.
The third is to be mindful of your value system.
The fourth one is to be careful of the company you keep
and the fifth one is to be healthy.
Of course, in the episode we go into depth on all of those
and talk about our own personal journeys
that helped us find what our purpose was
and how that brought all of us together.
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Sal and I went out to Arizona and had a talk at Jason Phillips collective. And one of the
things that I feel like I got the most from the room, right? There's like 130 people
are so that we were talking to. But the feeling that I got after we got the room, right? There's like 130 people or so that we were talking to.
But the feeling that I got after we got started,
like I had this whole plan when I went down there
of I was gonna really like break down
the analytics of our business, like share with everybody
closing and closing and open rates and scaling and percentages
and like I really thought that was gonna be
the bulk of my conversation.
Because they're all like business owners.
Yeah, well, they're all entrepreneurs.
And aspiring entrepreneurs.
And so, and when I first asked Jason,
I was kinda asking him,
like, you know, what percentage of people
are in here are scaling a business to,
you know, six figures, seven figures,
what am I talking to in?
But when we got there and Jason did
this little intro
where he was having people stand up sit down,
you know, when he would ask them a question
and it gave me a little more perspective
of what was in the audience.
And what it really was was a lot of people
still trying to find their way.
And so I kind of changed my topic
to more along the lines of, you know, kind of finding
your purpose and how much that matters to success. And so it gave me this idea that I wanted
to talk with you guys, because I think you guys can speak to this topic. And I think it's
something that a lot of people are searching for in our space and in any space.
And that is figuring out what your purpose is.
And I wanted to ask you guys and put together an episode on what we've gathered over our
two decades of trying to find that and finding where we're at now with Mind Pump and how that
aligns.
Well, people, one question that tends to pop up on this top, and this is a, gosh, this is a
great topic. It's a big, broad topic, and I think it's one that's been discussed for probably
forever, right, since humans could speak. Why is this so important to us? Well, first off,
Why is this so important to us? Well, first off, why do we even need to find a purpose?
Why is this even a thing?
It's an important, first off, scientists
have connected a sense of purpose
to happiness and fulfillment.
So we have the studies to show
that this is something that's very important,
but why?
Why is this important for humans?
Like do animals have a sense of purpose? They don't, they don't, right? They're not aware of their sense of purpose. Why
is this so important for humans? It's important because without a sense of purpose, life sucks.
It's very difficult. And I don't mean life doesn't suck or is not hard when you have a sense
of purpose, but a sense of purpose makes life bearable. Because what's the point
tends to happen. When you remove a sense of purpose, what you end up with is a sense of
apathy or nihilism. Like, what's the point? Why am I here? Why am I doing this? Why am
I going to work? Why am I waking up early? Why am I trying so hard? Why am I doing these
things that are difficult?
Life is riddled with challenge and difficulty
and the sense of purpose is what brings you through all that.
It's what makes all of it worth it.
Good example for me is in being a father.
If I were to break down, if I took out purpose,
if I eliminated the sense of purpose
that having my children, what that gives me.
And I just talked about all the stuff that goes into raising kids
and having kids, the money costs a lot of money to have kids.
Time, you lose a lot of time.
Your free time is asleep out the window.
Sleep, you're not gonna get,
and if you're young and you're listening,
you're like, oh, I don't need that much sleep,
you don't realize how much sleep you need
when you don't get a lot of it and makes a big impact.
Everything in your life is impacted in a way
that takes away from all the stuff you can devote yourself.
What makes it totally worth it though
is the purpose that you get from having kids.
So that's, and that can be
much more broad, right? But that's kind of part of it. And it's an important thing, I think,
to talk about, we need to have it. We have to have it. This has been proven time and time
again. And it's the fundamental piece of all spiritual practices. In fact, it may be,
if you eliminate the mysticism aspect of religion
and spirituality, you know, the otherworldly aspect, and let's say you're just a social scientist
or an evolutionary scientist, you can see that that's the value. Maybe if we indeed did
make all that shit up, that's probably why we did, because we need it. Otherwise, why
would I do anything at all, knowing what I know?
And I think this is such a popular topic and keeps getting brought up over and over again,
because it just needs to be revisited a lot.
This is something that sometimes you need to redefine it, sometimes you might be taking
everything on it once and you might be spinning your wheels
and you might be in a place in life where you don't really know what that looks like anymore.
And then this is something that you have to peel back layers to come back to the nucleus of it.
What is the most important things that are driving me through this experience?
And how can I get there?
Well, I think in order to have
real long lasting success, you have to find the purpose, right?
I think you could have like short-term success
where I have a goal to make X amount of dollars
and you could work towards that
and get that, but to have long lasting or lifelong success, I think it's an, you have to find
purpose in order to achieve that.
Because I know personally myself and, you know, I, in the, the talk that we were with
Jason, I gave how I, how I defined it.
And I said, when it, when timing and opportunity aligned with talent
and what you were shaped to do,
is when you find purpose.
And this meant a lot to me because I was the type of person
where I had lots of different jobs.
And I liked everything.
Like, I was the type of kid that, you know, it didn't matter.
Now mind you, I like some things more than
other things, but I also always learned to reframe the way I looked at any job and I would find
the good and the enjoyment out of it. And so I just kind of had the attitude that work as work,
and I'll love what I do, no matter what I do, because it's all about the attitude and the way I
perceive it. And so I approached every job like that
and I had this big financial goal
that was really what was driving me forever.
Because I thought that was when I have found my purpose
or success and the reality of that was,
I spent a majority of my young adulthood
pursuing that number.
And then when that finally came, did I finally learn about my purpose and that
that wasn't it? Because when I got there and thought that it would provide all this fulfillment for me, it didn't.
Now was there a particular moment you remember that happening or was it more of a, like it started to kind of come to you?
Oh, absolutely. And it was actually when I had lost my health,
because I remember looking in the mirror
for the first time in probably a year and a half,
two years, I really, and it's funny, right?
When you start to fall out of shape
and you don't like the way you feel,
it's crazy how much you avoid even checking on yourself.
Totally.
You just kind of black it out.
And I had done that.
I'd been so, my optically focused on making money and that was my main driver that I
kind of let go of my health and myself and kind of, and it was, I like had this, and I
actually, I took a screenshot, I took a picture of myself and that's what it was, was
I was looking at it and I went, oh oh my God, I've completely let myself go,
and yet I have all this money.
And that moment, like all said,
made me start to dive deep,
where I started going like, okay,
I'm unhappy with my health right now.
What else am I unhappy with?
And the irony was I started to go down
like my personal relationship that I was in at the time
and where that was and that was going south. Two of my best friends at that time, our relationship was
on the verge of us not speaking together anymore. I wasn't really spending a lot of time with
my family members. And so I'm like going down the list of things. And I also at that same time too
was starting to lose any sort of joy
that I had in the current work that I was doing.
Now I have the ability, anything that I start to do,
I can get competitive with myself and enjoy,
you know, getting better at it and making more money.
But I had already done all that for the last couple of years.
And I was making all this money,
and yet I was really unfulfilled.
And so that was a really pivotal moment for me
because the thing that was driving me for most of my life
didn't give me the purpose or fulfillment
that I thought I was going to.
Yeah, you need a sense of purpose,
not for the fun and easy stuff.
I think that, although sometimes you do too,
but I think people think, you know,
the fun and easy stuff is that that's where you're gonna find it.
Like, everything's gonna be awesome. I'm gonna love everything. That is that's where you're going to find it. Like, everything's going to be awesome.
I'm going to love everything.
That's not really why you need a sense of purpose.
It's easy to get lost in that.
It's the hard stuff that you need the sense of purpose for because when shit gets hard and
it will get hard and feelings do change.
You know, we talk all the time and fitness about, you know, how to get motivated to work
out and I need to get inspired and motivated.
There's nothing wrong with feeling good
and feeling motivated and inspired.
But if that becomes the only driving factor
you're in for a rude awakening,
because at some point, like all feelings,
the feeling of motivation inspiration will dissipate,
and then you're left with nothing.
Now you're doing something that you don't have the motivation and inspiration to do and
that's what you rested everything on.
You stop.
You stop doing it and this is what ends up happening in fitness.
And I use fitness as an example because it's my expertise and it's also very black and
white and very clear.
But apply that to anything.
I'm motivated and inspired to go start this new business.
Okay, you're doing this business.
What happens when the motivation inspiration is gone.
Do you still do it?
Do you still want to do it?
What keeps you going at that point?
It's that sense of purpose.
Well, I wanted to break it down and like,
something that people can like take away
and some simple points. And I like, that people can like take away and and and some simple
points. And I like I love using like acronyms or easy ways to remember and you know, listing
it off and like the five Bs. And the first one that comes to mind reminds me of something
you said, Sal, and your talk that I thought was really powerful. And that was a B Brave. And I love the analogy that you give about Superman
going into a burning building.
And is he brave when he does that?
You know, if he flies into a burning building
to save somebody, is he brave when he does that?
And the truth is, and you talk about this that he's not.
He's not because there's no consequence.
There's no risk.
Be brave is not the same as be fearless.
You know, I know we hear that all the time.
I have no fear, be fearless.
You're gonna be scared.
In fact, that's the only time it can be brave.
You don't need bravery to do things you're not afraid of.
You know, for some people being
extremely brave is standing up in the front of their classroom and presenting
their group project. For some people being very brave is admitting to
somebody that you have an addiction. For some people being brave is the first
day they walk into the gym because it scared the shed. Obviously for me, I walk into a gym all the time,
it's gonna make me brave.
I have no fear of walking into a gym.
But being brave literally means looking at your fear.
What am I afraid of?
Because that's gonna tell you a lot.
They talk about that in other terms and stories
of like the dragon that's watching,
that's looking over the gold.
You know, it's like, you gotta look where the dragon is
before you can find the treasure.
You have to find your fear and that's where you can be brave.
What am I afraid of?
Oh, I'm afraid of starting a business.
Okay, why?
Let me, and if I wanna be brave, I have afraid of starting a business. Okay, why? Let me, and if I want to be brave,
I have to tackle that.
Well, there's a great quote that says,
on the other side of fear resides success.
And I think that's such an incredible point.
And it also reminds me too,
of, you know, when you're young,
it's like, we talk to a lot of early 20s people that were at this talk
and everybody is like, I'm trying to,
what's my purpose, what's my purpose?
And a lot of times it's causing them to overanalyze
and they're just, they're sitting in place
and they're not taking chances,
they're not doing anything because they're trying
to find the purpose first.
And I think part of being brave
and why I think this is a great first point
is the importance of actually getting out there
and just playing, to read and play and learn and fail
is part of that process.
So it will failure.
I mean, that's a huge topic on its own
and that's tied in with fear.
And that's a lot of people don't want to do things
that they will fail at.
And they, other people will see that they failed at that.
And this is, this is something, I mean,
I had to get work through that entire barrier
with a lot of things I've done in the past
to try to get forward, to move in a direction
where I was trying to go to be successful,
but to be able to get on the other side, you have to acknowledge
those failures will happen. I may not be good at this. And I will be, people will judge
me this entire process of me trying to get to where I want to go. And that scares a
shit out of a lot of people. And to be able to recognize, I am fearful of that,
and I'm doing it anyway, that's where it starts.
I'm gonna take it back to fitness and health
and use an example there.
So at some point, and this is gonna happen,
maybe in our lifetime,
at some point, scientists will develop
a exercise in a pill.
This is gonna happen.
It might happen in our lifetime,
probably in my kids' lifetime,
where you'll be able to take a pill
and get all the effects that exercise provides
on a physiological level.
So I'll take the pill, I'll build a little bit of muscle,
my body will burn more calories and body fat
and I'll get better physical health.
Now that's nothing wrong with that, that's a good thing.
But it's not going to provide nearly the same benefits
as the fitness journey provides now
because the fitness journey is filled
with fear, failure, and chances to be brave.
Very, there's not much bravery required to swallow a pill.
And if the pill does everything for you,
there is no failure, there is no learning.
It's just take the pill and here I go.
Anybody who's been working out for 10 years or longer,
even five years or longer will tell you
that journey was filled, it's riddled with failure.
It's riddled with challenge.
And the challenges don't stop.
That's the wonderful thing about health and fitness
is the deeper you dive, the more you unravel about yourself
and the more opportunities you have to grow.
And so that's a part of it.
I'm not just talking about fitness,
you can put this anywhere else.
It's that willingness to tackle what scares you most and that requires a tremendous
amount of bravery and it's extremely uncomfortable. Now, what does that have to do with purpose?
Well, think about this for a second. If you're tackling your fears, which suck, if you're
being honest with yourself, don't be like one of those people. It's like, man, I tackle
my fears all the time. I go skydiving.
Yeah.
No, you love skydiving.
That's not really a fear.
Yeah, you get excited, maybe a little scared, but you have to be truly honest with yourself.
What am I really scared of?
Is it commitment?
Is it, does it take a chance in business?
Is it, you know, whatever?
By tackling those things, you start to try, you actually naturally will try
to find a sense of purpose because otherwise,
why do that?
Why be brave in the first place?
It's easy to not be brave.
Well, you related it to fitness and, you know,
I was related to business.
I wish I remember what the article,
what it said the number was, I wanna say it was like,
I wanna say it was like 10 or or somewhere between 10 and 20 times that the average millionaire fails before being
successful, before finding something that they have financial success with.
10 to 20 times.
Yeah, it was, it was a number like that.
How many people have taken that many chances?
Exactly.
And so I remember reading that in my early 20s and it switched like the way I thought about
taking risk and failure that I thought, well, if the average millionaire has made that
many failures before they were successful, and I'm only on my first chance that I've taken
with the fuck am I thinking?
And that really, uh, get them over with.
Yeah, exactly.
That was kind of my attitude. Like, hey, if I got an idea and I believe in the idea, I'm not going to thinking. And that really, get them over with. Yeah, exactly. That was kind of my attitude.
Like, hey, if I got an idea and I believe in the idea,
I'm not gonna sit on it anymore.
I'm not gonna think about it.
I'm not gonna plan it for a year and a half.
I'm not gonna like,
deliberate back and forth and ponder over it.
I'm gonna jump out the airplane
and build the parachute on the way down
and find out if I'm gonna fail or not.
And the best thing if I do fail, now I know.
Now I know that that that doesn't work.
That wasn't a good idea for me,
and I've got one down, nine more to go.
That was my attitude.
I'm not hanging out there like,
oh, the possibilities may be, that's just very clear.
Yeah, I learned that, I had a client
when I was, I wanna say 22, 23, super successful,
self-made man,
older at this point, and I asked them,
I said, what's your secret to success?
What's the one thing that you did that made you successful?
And he says, you asked me the wrong question.
He says, ask me how many times I failed.
And really what you start to realize is,
people who are successful, it's not as much,
their success is not as much tied to the fact
that they're good at what they're doing.
That's a part of it, definitely.
Like if you're a successful trainer,
part of your success is tied to the fact
that you're good at training, of course.
But people are truly big time successful.
Many of them fell in love with the process
of finding success.
So if you look at an entrepreneur
who's failed 10 to 20 times,
it's because they've gotten pretty good at trying.
They've gotten pretty good at that whole process.
And the odds are they probably would not have stopped
until they reach that point where they got successful.
But that requires a lot of bravery
and it requires a lot of learning and growing.
Lots and lots of learning and growing. A lot, I feel like this happens to a lot of learning and growing. Lots and lots of learning and growing.
A lot, I feel like this happens to a lot of us in our 20s.
I feel like that's when we have the energy to do it.
That's when we can test our limits.
You know, if you don't have any dependence,
if it's just you and you're 23 years old, 25 years old,
that's the time for you to see how hard you can work.
That's the time for you to know what your limits look like.
Don't hurt yourself, but know what your limits look like.
That's the time for you to swing the bat really hard,
take big chances, fall in your face.
It's just up to you.
If you fail or succeed, it's okay.
It's just you.
It's still scary as shit, though.
Yeah, Gary Vee says you gotta eat shit for nine years.
Probably.
Right, to figure it out.
And it's kind of it's kind of true, right?
You spend a lot of time and you know, don't be afraid to take
the free internship, you know, or volunteer on the weekends.
Like that those that is not wasted time.
Even if you're not making money at the time, it is not wasted time.
Well, that's the that's the second one, which is really
be willing to give.
To give, give, give.
It's funny talking about business.
Some of the most driven people you'll meet in terms
of their work.
Some of the people that you'll meet that you'll find,
while this person is extremely dedicated to their job, they're extremely dedicated to their career.
Some of the most dedicated people are people who work for free. They are
volunteers. These are people who give, they give. So what does that mean be
willing to give? What are you willing to give? And that'll point you in a bit of
a direction, won't it? If I'm willing to give for this thing over here, like for me, when I started in the fitness
space, you know, you think I got paid for every hour, I was in the gym, or for all the advice that I
gave clients on the workout floor, I lived in that gym because I was willing to give.
You know, and I think it was Bishop Bering,
he talks about love and he calls it spiritual physics
where for you to fill yourself up with love,
you have to give love.
Well, I think in business, there's a bit of this as well.
You can call it entrepreneurial physics.
The more you give, the more you tend to receive.
So, I mean, and more specific terms,
and more advice I give people on the workout floor,
and the more time I spend there,
my odds of becoming successful or much higher,
and the my odds of finding my purpose
or feeling my purpose, you know, go up quite a bit.
I also think this falls in the category two of like,
I remember I got asked in an interview recently, you know,
what would you guys ever sell, mind mine pump or what's your vision for
10 years down the road and you know, it made me really think about like what would I want to do
and it also really confirmed that I feel like we had found our purpose because I can honestly say
if we sold it all and it was,
we made a bunch of money off of it and we were done with it,
I wouldn't want to stop doing it.
Like just because money is now not a part of the equation,
I no longer need that anymore,
I would still want to come here every day
and have conversations with you guys
and with the brilliant mindset we get to have on the show.
And to me, that's part of this.
That's is finding something that you would do even if you didn't have to do.
Like I think to have that lifelong purpose or find that, it has to be something.
Because in the reality, when you're building a business, you've definitely got to find
something like that because if you're
going to be really successful, there's going to be many times within that journey. You are
going to be probably working for a lot less than minimum wage when you do the math on the
hours.
Oh my God. Entrepreneurs, the only person on earth that is willing to work 80 hours to
avoid working 40 hours. You know what I'm saying? It's true. That's a true story. I've
met a lot of on. I was one of them for, That's a true story. I've met a lot of on I was one of them for you know many times. I've met a lot of
entrepreneurs who are working 80 hours a week and making less money than when
they were working 40s out you know hours a week for someone else. And we're
just talking about you know you know business here but this relates I think to
everything. And it's like what do you love doing the most? Now now in the
truest sense this isn't necessarily mean it's the, what do you love doing the most? Now, in the truest sense, this isn't necessarily mean,
it's the most fun or enjoyable, by the way.
You know, I was talking about the volunteers for a second.
When you find, you know, you go find a volunteer,
that volunteers their life to helping others.
You find people in the Peace Corps, whatever you ask them.
Do you love this?
They'll say yes, then follow it up with,
do you find this super fun all the time and enjoyable all the time? No. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, do you love this? They'll say yes, then follow it up with, do you find this super fun all the time
and enjoyable all the time?
No, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life,
but they love it.
No, this reminds me of the story I shared
where I was driving home from work one day from this, right?
And it was just a stressful week for us.
We had a lot of shit going on.
I think we had to let go of somebody.
There's all kinds of stuff that was swirling around in my head and I you know
Katrina I lean on a lot to be my sounding board. She's my voice of reason and
You know, I trust her opinion and I'll call her up and she and she knows me
So she allows me to vent and get it off my chest and I'm driving home and I'm talking to her in the truck on speaker phone
And I'm you know, I'm so I'm stressed and I'm bitching right for like five minutes straight. And I finally take a breath
and I can't hear it. I'm like, hello. And she's like, yeah, I'm here. And I'm like, well,
she's like, are you done? And I'm like, yeah, well, what do you think? And then she says,
would you have it any other way? And it really made me think about that, like, wow,
you know, you're right.
Like the part of that is I find the enjoyment
out of the struggle and the challenge.
And so whatever it is that you're doing to your point,
so it's not gonna be the necessarily the easiest.
In fact, it would probably be one of the hardest things you do.
100%. And I was, I don't think there's any meaning found in easy shit. It's not gonna be the necessarily the easiest. In fact, it would probably be one of the hardest things you do.
100%.
And I was, I don't think there's any meaning found in easy shit.
I don't think you ever, you don't need to, here's the thing.
You don't need to find meaning or purpose for easy stuff.
There's no need for that.
It's just, it's just there.
The meaning and purpose really are to get you through the stuff
that's hard and as part of your business.
And it's hard to get your impulses. And's hard. And as part of your... As part of your impulse.
It's interesting because like on the other end,
you see a lot of motivational people out there trying
to help you know with that process,
trying to get you success, to get you money,
to get you, these things all self-driven desire,
you know, like to feed right into that,
to try and elevate you through those,
you get there quickly. And you know, one of the right into that, to try and elevate you through those, you get there quickly.
And, you know, one of the biggest things,
like I've found is the more I take myself outside myself
and start giving and pouring myself into other people,
it's amazing what that comes back.
And it's not, I'm not even trying to get anything back,
but it comes back and it accelerates so much more
than it does when I'm pursuing something so hard
just for my own interest.
Oh, totally.
And here's the irony of that.
It's not giving to others or giving to others
or giving for things other than yourself
with the expectation that you'll receive.
Right.
Now what'll end up probably happening
is you're gonna receive in different ways either from fulfillment or sometimes
directly clarity that you're seeking. Yes, but the reality is to give in the
in this truest sense is without is for the unconditionally. It's for the the
will of the good of the other person or the will of the good of the other.
It is not for you.
So if I'm giving, it's not because I want anything,
it's for the love of giving and for the love of making you
helping you better for your sake.
And that is, this is a tough one because oftentimes
we sell it by telling people,
you'll get all the stuff back in return,
but then it doesn't work.
It doesn't work that way.
If I don't, I'm not going to go volunteer or help people
thinking it's going to pay me back because if I do, then it's not the same thing.
Right. Now, to that point, that reminds me of the third one, which is be mindful of your value system.
This is huge. This one's absolutely huge. And it reminds me of the conversation that we had with,
was it, it was Ryan Holiday,
we had this conversation with, right?
When, was it right, yeah, it was Ryan.
It was Ryan who we talked to about, you know,
everybody worships something,
whether you, whether you're religious or non-religious or not,
there is, there is a hierarchy of things
that, of importance in your life. And whether you do that subconsciously
or actively, it's there. And so I think being mindful of your value system is extremely important
and how unfulfilling some of the things that I think we in our society, and I'm definitely guilty
of this. I shared that for a long period of my life, whether
I believed in God or not, I'd be lying if I said that money wasn't at the top of my
value system. It was a main motivator and driver for me for so many years. And that
can be, it doesn't have to be money if you can be anything else, but becoming aware of that and its potential pitfalls, I think, is extremely important.
The fact that we have free will to make choices every day, in order for that to exist or
to work, we have to have a value system.
So what I mean by that is, you're taking a walk down the street.
Well, first off, you're taking a walk.
Why have you decided to walk?
Because it's more valuable to walk than it is to stand still.
That's the decision that actually happens.
You might not be entirely conscious of this,
but that's what you're deciding.
Then you decide to take a right.
Now, why did you take a right instead of take a left
or go straight?
Because right, you valued going right at that moment
more than those other choices.
Why did you pick the shirt that you're wearing?
Why do you choose the people you hang out with?
Why did you eat this versus that?
All those things.
All of those are based off of the fact that we have free will and that free will in order
for that to exist, it means that we have to create a value system.
Okay, so at the end of the day, when you go all the way up, your value system, at the very,
very top of that is what you worship.
It's the number one most important thing that you value.
Now, a lot of people, if you ask them this and you say, okay, what's the number one thing
that you value?
Oh, I value number one family or number one, you know, a clean earth or whatever.
That's fine.
But the best way to determine what the top of your,
what's at the top of your value system is by your actions.
So if you have somebody, for example, who says,
a clean earth is number one at the top of my value system,
and you see them and you see, oh, okay,
but you own two mansions in a yacht and a private jet
and you, I know you preach this stuff,
but the reality is your actions don't show that.
Let's look at your actions and determine
what your top value is.
Do this for yourself.
This is gonna be require, you know,
radical honesty with yourself.
And what you may find is that at the top of your value system
is pleasure or money.
You know, something material, honor, you know, I want to be
famous. That's everything that I kind of do drives me to this one ultimate goal.
Now this is where spiritual practice has a lot of value for a lot of people.
This may not be for you, but for a lot of people placing a God at the top of
their their value system makes a lot of sense because
especially if you examine some of these religions, God is this perfect, all-knowing, loving, forgiving,
being.
Well, that seems like a pretty good, if it's real, right?
If that's your real top value.
It seems like a pretty decent top value.
Maybe your top value is to be a good person.
I think it's important though to examine this because when you can place at the top of your
value system what you think should be there, then you'll find everything else starts to kind of
fall into place. And it'll kind of give you a really, really much more clear path towards
what your, what you feel your purpose is.
Is what do you value at the top?
That'll help you determine what you feel like your purpose is.
So if at the top of your values is money,
well, I guess my purpose is just to make a lot of money.
I guess that might be what my purpose is.
And then examine that and see,
was that gonna fulfill me forever?
Is that really- Even almost writing this out would be very beneficial
in terms of what you would determine at the very top
and a few down and then look and see
like your daily habits, your actions,
who you're hanging out with,
like where you're going, what your business is
and what that, how that all reflects this structure
that you have in terms of what you find the most value in.
And how can I then adjust things?
How can I shift?
Am I willing to change to have it more accurately
reflect what I do hold with the most value?
Yeah, now, if you, this is,
now I'm not a, by any means, an expert on,
you know, spirituality or practices,
but one thing that I like to do,
and I've talked about this many times on the show,
as I'll look at practices that span the world,
and that have lasted for thousands of years,
and oftentimes what you can find is a lot of wisdom in those practices, right?
So like if, when you look across the world,
you can find, for example, that every culture
of the world, every major religion,
has practices fasting.
Like fasting is there for a reason.
Now, now why is that?
Well, you look a little bit deeper
and you find that they all practice detachment
to material things, every single major religion, every spiritual practice, and that's lasted.
Practice is some form of detachment from material things.
And this is because, in my opinion, humans have figured out that if you worship material
things, that is a bottomless pit to despair.
You know, that's a part, that's a, you look at the Buddhists, they practice that.
The Christians practice that with the Beatitudes,
Islam, they practice that with Ramadan and fasting.
It's the attachment from worldly,
doesn't mean you consider them bad.
It's just, and this is again,
this comes from the major spiritual teachings.
It's probably smart to not have a material thing
of this earth at the top of your hierarchy value.
Something that you were worshiped.
I just think it's important that you, like kind of the Justin's point, you look into this,
because some people just have never really thought about it. It reminds me of probably one of the,
I don't know, greatest exercises that I used to do with my staff. And I don't remember
at what point in my career,
or what book I was reading.
I wanna say it was a John C. Maxwell book
that gave me this idea.
But I used to do this with all my team.
And I had a deck of cards,
but like a stack of little posted note type cards.
And I think I had about 50, something of them.
And on there, I wrote all values, family, money,
all these things that we're talking about right now,
50 of them.
And then I made enough so everybody on my team had them
and I'd have them do this individually, not
so you could look at anybody else's.
And I'd say narrow down to your top five values in your
life. And then they would take them a while to fish through all 50 and decide what five spoke
to them the most. And then I'd have them narrow it down even further to their top three. So they
really know what motivates them on a day-to-day basis or what's important or what's their purpose
potentially. And they would get that.
Now, I took it a step further as the leader,
once I had that organized,
I actually would have all my trainers' names
and then I would have their top three values.
And the exercise for me as in the leadership role was,
now no matter what I needed to talk to a staff member about,
especially if it had to do with coaching them up or something they didn't do right, I never led with that.
I always led with addressing their three values first.
So if someone said family, friendship, loyalty or something, I would make sure I would
start that conversation with them, asking them about those things.
Hey, how's your family doing, so?
Hey, what's going on with Justin and stuff like that?
Have you seen him lately?
I know you guys, whatever their three main values were,
we're falling out.
I would always speak to those things.
Man, just connecting to people and helping them connect
that was a powerful tool in managing a team when we were all in the same page.
And so I think there's a lot of value in that.
Totally.
Another one, this one's important
because for a while there, I thought that,
I kinda got the message that
you don't wanna take advice from other people.
Don't listen to anybody else, just kinda,
listen to your, it's you,
it doesn't matter what other people say. And I might have even said that on the podcast, depending on the context of
the conversation. And I think there's some truth to it, but I also think there's some truth to
taking advice from certain people. I think the next one could be labeled, be careful of the company
you keep. Now that doesn't mean distrust people, the people around you.
No, just be aware.
That means be aware because the people that you respect and trust the most,
who you know have your best intentions are the ones you should take advice from
because here's why.
Okay.
I'm using sports analogy.
You ready?
Oh, boy.
I better open my seatbelt on.
Let's say you're playing a game of sports ball.
Yeah, I'm imagining this.
Yeah, you're in the game, you're playing.
What you see is your position.
What you see is what's happening directly around you.
You don't have the same view as the other, as another player,
especially not the same view as a player on the other team.
And you definitely don't see the view that the coach will see who's looking over the whole
game. Now each one of you has valuable information, each one of you has valid information. But
do you think that you could learn from the the view and the opinion of the people who
are looking at the whole game? Do you think you could learn from the view and the opinion of the people who are looking at the whole game. Do you think you could learn from the view and the information from a player on the other
team that may benefit you?
This is the value of people around you that you really truly trust because they can call
you out because sometimes you're in your, you're in your, actually, I shouldn't say
sometimes, every day, you're inside yourself, you're seeing things through a certain lens, you may not know
that you come across a certain way.
You may not know that your ideas may be a little out there.
You may not know that you may be a little rude
or maybe acting a little selfish.
But if we have somebody around you
that you really truly trust, Adam or Justin come up to me
and say, hey man, I know yesterday you thought you did really good
on that podcast interview, but you actually came across
a little bit pompous.
And you should probably wear a deodorant.
And you should probably wear a deodorant.
You know, I could be like, ah, fuck though,
but I, okay, well, I trust these guys.
I know they have my best interests.
I think I'm going to consider their advice
and their information because of who they are. And now, what determines that?
Well, you're going to have to figure out how to find people that you could trust around.
One of the easiest way to do this, by the way, is to be trusting yourself.
When you invite other people to be trusting by being a trusting person yourself, then you
can see kind of who these people are.
But this is a very important thing. It's very important that you have people around you that you can
trust their advice. Joe, just, you know, I think was just talking about this on his Instagram
this morning, he was referring to one of the most successful female entrepreneurs in
the Silicon Valley. And one of her, you know, biggest pieces of advice that she could give
him was to surround yourself with a board of three, four or five people, everybody needs a board, even if you're not running a
big business, everybody needs a board for that exact reason.
And is to have that perspective.
I love the sports analogy, by the way.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, it does.
It makes sense.
But, you know, I love, like, you hit a slam dunk, dude.
You did.
We're, you hit us.
Absolutely. I mean, I was just reading actually last month or the month before I was, I, like, you hit a slam dunk, dude. You did. You hit us. Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, I was just reading actually last month
of the month before I was reading.
Get the basket into my head.
Yeah.
Phil Jackson's book, 11 Rings.
And, you know, coaches talk about these great, great players
have this ability, right, to have not only hold multiple
perspectives themselves, but also be open-minded to hear other perspectives.
So much.
And so it's so important.
And the ones that I think hit a ceiling
are those ones that maybe are talented and good at what they do,
whatever their craft may be,
but then are close-minded to hear opinions from others.
And I think that's so important.
I also think that 100% know that all of my success resides from the me standing on
others' shoulders.
I mean, I did a really good job at a young age of seeking out people that were far more
intelligent and successful than I was and building relationships and surrounding myself around those people, which
also reminds me of a quote that I had read.
At some point in my career, that also changed the way I thought.
And that was, you're an average of the five people that you spend the most time with.
And I think this is really important to your point, Sal, of taking advice from people
because you have to be careful that too because sometimes you can find yourself in an echo chamber
with people that may have a negative mindset or maybe stuck in the same place in their life and
you have aspirations to go much further, but because you're constantly hanging around those people
and those are the people that are giving you advice, you become very stagnant in your life.
So it's very important that you evaluate
the people that you are spending the most time
within your life and do they reflect where you wanna be?
And if they don't, you better start changing that circle.
Yeah, no, I think too, with that,
that's the complete perspective. I think
that a lot of people are getting because of what's a more attractive way to kind of gain people
into your system is to tell them to just keep going. Ignore everybody, ignore the haters,
like do it all in spite of everybody that's out there to get you,
and to really be the lone wolf and to get out there and accomplish all these feats, you know, and celebrate them yourself. And like you said, you're only going to get so far.
You're only going to get so much further when you put the work in. I know it's hard to trust
people. I know it's hard to find people that you really respect.
But you really, you will do yourself so much more if you put the effort in that direction,
if you are willing to find these people you respect, to do things for them, to, this
goes back up the chain of giving. And you're gonna find these people by being vulnerable,
by going in that direction, by putting yourself out there,
these people will present themselves.
And, you know, again, this is a huge piece,
I think, is neglecting in everybody else's,
that's commenting on it.
Those people, too, are the people that will tell you
when you're doing what you're supposed to be doing.
Oh yeah.
When you have those people, they'll be like,
man, fucking Sal, bro, you are great at that dude.
Right.
This is what you were meant to do.
You surround yourself with people like that
that will celebrate your victories.
Absolutely.
They want to see you successful.
They want to help you out.
They want to rise with you.
They celebrate your victories with you and they feel the pain from your losses with you.
This is an easy way to see it now. You'll find the people that are not the real people
you should have around you that you trust. They'll do the opposite. They'll tend to celebrate
your failures. And when you succeed, you'll notice a little bit of envy and jealousy, not a celebration.
It may invoke them to be more competitive with you.
And maybe those are people that aren't necessarily that don't necessarily have your best intentions
of mind.
And it's real easy for us to sit in our little chairs right now and say this, it's really
fucking hard to do this.
Super.
And the reason why I think this is one of the hardest
lessons I had to learn was because most of us
make our friends in either high school or college
are really good friends.
And at that time in our lives,
most of us are uncertain of our purpose.
We are motivated by our insecurities
and we attract reflections of ourself at that phase in our life.
And then we make some sort of a bond with them. Whether it be they were my college drinking buddy that we had fun doing or
my friend who was insecure about the way he looked to so we worked out every single day together,
but you make these bonds and connections with these people and
years and years go by of friendship
and you may be reflecting now in your young adulthood
or even older and going, man, I love them.
I love them as people and they were great friends
when we were in high school and college,
but when I really think about where I wanna be in my life
and are they really celebrating my victories
and is it as painful for them when I have failures
like Sal was saying?
And it's really tough sometimes to evaluate
that circle that you may have built at a time in your life
that you've grown out of.
And that's really hard.
It was a really hard thing.
I had to let go of a lot of really close.
And it wasn't like a one day break up,
I was like, oh, these five friends of mine that are really close to me,
see them, not talking to you anymore.
It took years of me slowly drifting away from them before they are completely out
and that circle had completely changed.
And it doesn't mean you can't still have love for those people.
I think you can still have love and appreciation.
But if you really care about elevating yourself
where you're currently in your life
and you're still seeking your purpose,
I think it's incredibly important
that you're constantly evaluating those people
that you spend the most time with.
Well, yeah, I mean, look, if you have people that you trust
that tell you that's not really something you're good at
or this is something you to work on, or wow, that's not really something you're good at or this is something you
to work on or wow that's really special about you. It can start to give you shed a little
bit of light and what your purpose is. Now with the first one we talked about was being
brave. It takes a lot of bravery to listen to criticisms from people that you really
trust and admire. I had learned this many times the hard way. I mean, you know, I got
about four or five years ago, I got divorced and there were definitely things at the time that my wife said that I
was not contributing to the marriage or things that I wasn't doing very well, but all I could focus on was
what she was doing wrong. And we definitely were both valid. I don't learn of the validity of her
until I got out. When we got divorced and I went through that pain
and challenged in that growth.
The only way I could get through it was I finally sat down
and said, I think she might have been right
about all these different things about me.
And then growth started happening.
If you can get away from, you know,
if you can get people around you that you trust
and you can try and trust means, by the way, trust is a little blind,
isn't it?
You don't need to trust something that you see,
or believe, like if Justin tells me,
hey, Sal, don't step over there, because there's a hole,
and I can see the hole, I don't, I'm not trusting him,
he just told me to look, and I see it.
Blind faith.
If he says, don't step in that hole,
and I'm like, there's no hole there, man,
and he's like, don't trust me, don't.
I have to trust him.
I know it's just in, so I'm gonna say, okay,
somebody I respect, and I'm gonna trust him,
and that can help point in the right direction.
Now, the last one I think,
believe it or not, I think is the most important one,
because I think the filter through which you receive information
and put things out is extremely important.
It can change everything.
And this is the one I think we can speak the most to because this is our purpose collectively
in this room.
This is what we've all been brought together to do, I believe, which is to help people
be healthy.
Now why is being healthy an important part
of finding your purpose?
Well, let's say, forget the physical health for a second,
although we'll get there.
Let's say you're unhealthy mentally.
Let's say you're mentally or spiritually unhealthy.
You're very, very insecure.
You grew up in a poor household.
You didn't have a lot of money
when your main insecurities is money.
Well, that insecurity, that unhealthiness,
that unhealthy relationship between you and money
is going to make all the other things
that we talked about almost impossible.
Because that's what's gonna drive you.
Because you're insecure, that becomes your purpose
and it's a false purpose. But if you're insecure, that becomes your purpose and it's a false
purpose.
But if you're healthy, if you're healthy physically, mentally and spiritually, you are in the
best position you could possibly be to make the best decisions for yourself.
Healthy people in the truth sense make better decisions than unhealthy people.
This is a fact.
And I like this one because this is more black and white.
I mean, the last ones that we just talked about
tend to be more difficult and a bit more abstract
in the sense, being healthy is not easy.
Don't get me wrong.
It's just a little easier to understand.
Okay, how do I be healthy?
I'm gonna feed my body as if I love myself
or like I'm taking care of myself.
I'm gonna train my body, exercise, because I love myself or like I'm taking care of myself. I'm gonna train my body, exercise,
because I love myself.
I'm going to get good sleep because I care about myself.
I'm gonna surround myself with people who are good for me
because I care about myself.
I'm gonna learn things.
I'm gonna grow, be a healthy person.
Now you're in this amazing position
to make great decisions.
Well, it feeds into making better decisions constantly.
And you're doing this and you're working on that
by working on your fitness,
by working on your nutrition,
by working on how my body operates more effectively.
And as I'm doing this day in and day out,
there's always a decision to not do that.
And so it's very, again, cut and dry.
Have I been put in the work in?
Have I not been putting the work in?
You see that as a reflection in how your body's responding,
your strength, your overall health markers,
all these types of things.
It's like the check engine lights come up
and you can go back and revisit these things
and improve yourself by just taking the effort to make sure my body's healthy.
I'm presenting myself in the best light.
It's just by that momentum will carry into other decision-making processes, whether it's business
relationships or other self-improvement directions.
I also think this can be deceiving too. An example that I think I've especially
talked about the fitness space and where our real expertise is at. How many people look healthy
because they're ripped. You look at their look at their Instagram and, you know, the 3000 posts have been shredded versions of themself
all day long and, you know, they have a,
they're a health and fitness coach
and they're presenting, you know, health and fitness to others.
Yet inside, mentally, they're tortured,
are tortured by their insecurities,
whether that be the size of their muscles or
whether they're fat or lean or whatever, or just where they're in their lives. And yet their
bodies are representing that they're really healthy, but they're really out of balance. So
I think sometimes this is difficult for people to see in others and to evaluate in
themselves.
It's a sphere.
It's everything.
Like when we're talking about being healthy, we mean healthy in all aspects.
Are you a healthy person?
In all of the somebody whose body obsessed and insecure about the way they look is going to look oftentimes shredded
or nice looking physically because they're obsessed
about their bodies, but that body obsession is not healthy,
right? They're not healthy people.
I've been in this space.
I know what that feels like.
I know what that looks like.
Some of the unhealthiest people on the whole
that you'll ever find are people who are professionals
in the fitness space,
especially the fitness model side of things.
Some of the most unhealthy people they ever find.
They eat perfectly, they eat the right microbes,
they do their workouts and a lot of stuff,
but do you think they're healthy?
Absolutely not.
I think you know, you're talking about mind, body,
and spirit and health,
which again is definitely
mostly our world, but I also think there's financial health.
Totally.
Right, I think there's a healthy relationship with money.
I mean, it is a tool that is used to make this world go around.
It's necessary in order to buy food and shelter for yourself.
And so you need it, and it's an important aspect of life,
but you can also abuse it.
And then you could also be, you know,
rebuke it so much that you don't have it either.
And so I think there's a very healthy relationship
to be had there too.
So I think being healthy, although we're speaking mostly
to mind, body, and spirit,
and as a person, I think that goes across the board.
Well, that's a reflection of an unhealthy person is going to have unhealthy relationships
to things and people around them.
A healthy, this is what I mean, this is why I say this is the...
That's true, right?
If you're not healthy spiritually, you're not going to have healthy relationships with
people.
You're not going to have healthy financial relationships.
Well, I think too, you know, watching that Bikram documentary was very enlightening in terms
of, you know, seeing, like, people that didn't put any effort in the spiritual direction
and being susceptible to ideas and, you know, concepts and people in their life that are kind of pulling them
into ideas that they probably wouldn't have normally got, but they're seeking to fill
something and need that they have.
They can't really understand why they have this need, but the need is there.
The need is there to fill and to be very mindful of what you are feeling that with.
You have no idea how right you are.
One of the biggest, one of the most important strategies
of totalitarian regimes is to get people to not be spiritual.
It's actually against their doctrine.
In China right now, in fact,
I just read an article where they're putting Muslims
and Christians in concentration camps, trying to get them to,
because in those belief systems,
if you believe in something bigger than you,
you can't possibly worship your government,
you can't possibly go along with the crazy shit
that they may do, you have to worship them.
So no, you're absolutely right.
I think having that spiritual component,
whatever that means to you, I think it can be very
different from person to person, makes you a little bit more bulletproof to that, you know,
the ability of people to kind of manipulate you.
But at the end of the day, again, if you are, and this way I love fitness so much, fitness
is that kind of a journey.
It's very black and white.
It's an easy way to get going on this growth journey.
It's a love way to get going on this growth journey. I just love training
kids for this. I would train them and they'd get stronger and I'd point it out to them
and then I'd make sure to tell them, you are not the same person today that you were when
you first came in. You were fundamentally different and watch their faces light up and
be like, I'm a different person. Watch how it affects their schoolwork.
Every time you watch everything, you know, the relationships. Part of why it's easy is
because the first lesson is that it's hard. Part of why it's easy is because the first lesson is that it's hard.
Part of why it's such an easy, easy place to start is because the first lesson in fitness is it's hard.
And you get what you get the harder it is, the more a better it is.
Right. Many times.
You're out of it.
And the smarter you use it, the better it gives you.
So and with that, go to mindpump free dot com and download all of our guides and
resources
they're all absolutely free you can also find all of us on instagram you can find
just in a mind pump just and you can find me at my pump sal and adam at my
pump at home thank you for listening to mine pump
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