Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 2070: Secrets & Confessions of a Fitness Influencer With Thomas DeLauer
Episode Date: May 8, 2023In this episode Sal, Adam & Justin speak with Thomas DeLauer who lost a hundred pounds and built a successful fitness brand. His intention of getting on YouTube. (1:46) There is fitness, and then ...there is health. (8:38) How lifting saved his life. (11:18) The HUGE misconception about eating disorders. (16:09) Understanding that this is NOT going to control me, and I’m going to OWN it. (22:43) Helping people to help yourself. (25:47) The feeling of not fitting in and having imposter syndrome. (28:03) Having guard rails and avoiding being too extreme. (31:40) His relationship with drugs. (35:13) How he ended up in the private equity world. (37:11) Breaking out of your echo chamber. (45:01) The cream will rise to the top and block out the rest. (49:59) How fatherhood has changed him. (53:46) The vantage point you get once you have kids. (1:00:22) Nothing meaningful is easy. (1:05:15) What concerns him the most about the future of his kids? (1:10:11) Managing technology with kids. (1:17:38) Related Links/Products Mentioned For Mind Pump listeners only, Dr. Cabral is offering a Buy 1 + Get 1 for the EquiLife Omega-3 Support soft gels. Boost your brain, heart, recovery, and much more with this limited-time Buy 1 Get 1 Free offer! May Promotion: MAPS Prime or MAPS Prime Pro or the Prime Bundle 50% off! **Code MAY50 at checkout** Thomas DeLauer - YouTube ‎Modern Wisdom: #615 - Thomas DeLauer - Apple Podcasts Village Corner Mind Pump Podcast – YouTube Mind Pump Free Resources Features Guest/People Mentioned Thomas DeLauer (@thomasdelauer) Instagram V Shred (@vshred) Instagram Chris Williamson (@chriswillx) Instagram Chris Voss (@thefbinegotiator) Instagram Peter Attia (@peterattiamd) Instagram
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If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go.
MIND, MIND, MIND, MIND, MIND, MIND, with your hosts.
Salda Stefano, Adam Schaefer, and Justin Andrews.
You just found the most downloaded fitness health and entertainment podcast in history.
This is Mind Pump Right.
Today's episode, we had Thomas DeLauron, he's a fitness influencer, lots and lots of followers.
Today's episode, he
gives us all the secrets and confessions about how we lost a hundred pounds, how we built
this business, what he thinks about the fitness industry, about being a dad, raising kids,
much more, very illuminating episode. We know you're going to enjoy this one, and of course
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All right, here comes the show.
Was it your YouTube channel that you started first, where you like on Facebook and things
like that first, where you want Facebook was kind of first, but YouTube kind of went at
the same time.
Yeah, I mean, it's, I just kind of got, I think I just got lucky with the timing with YouTube.
I mean, it's just like sometimes a little bit, it is just luck, you know, it was just
talking about my kind of transformation.
I hate that word, honestly, but it's so overused.
Well, I know what it, I mean, you lost a hundred pounds.
It's good.
That's a transformation for sure.
I think that just kind of happened at the right time, along with like some magazine coverage
at the right time, where it was like a little bit of mainstream, plus a little bit of what
I was doing on.
So it just was like a perfect recipe for that.
Did you get like the like hockey stick feeling or what have you been just like, it was definitely a perfect recipe for that. Did you get like the hockey stick feeling
or have you been just like,
it was definitely a hockey stick for sure.
2018ish or so was like,
I think the channel grew like a million subs that year.
Wow.
Yeah, well, that was not like, it was cool.
And this is, I'll probably talk about this.
I mean, this was never what I intended to do.
Like, I'm such an introverted person.
Like, it was never what I planned to do. So it I'm such an introverted person, like, it was never what I planned to do.
So, it was, so for me, it was like, oh crap.
All right, I guess I'll take this and run with it.
I, you know what's funny to me is we've met so many people
that have like big YouTube channels.
I mean, you got over three million subs on yours,
then a lot of them are introverts,
but kill it on camera, totally.
Yeah, on YouTube.
It was not ready for that.
So, I'm the opposite.
I think all of us are trying to be the opposite.
We do better in person, and it was a struggle
to make this transition of in the camera.
Totally.
And some of the most successful YouTubers
or people that we've met online,
we meet them and they're like,
yeah, no, I'm totally introvert to that person.
I'm like, that's so wild to me.
That's easy to connect to a camera
when you're looking just at a lens.
It's nice, because it's like a one on one.
If you can really connect that way, but I mean, which don't get me wrong.
I mean, I love being in a group and discussing and talking, but it's, yeah, I just never
had, if you had to ask me 10 years ago, if this is what I was going to be doing.
What was the, what was the intention then when you first went on YouTube?
I mean, it was definitely like putting the information out there, but I came out of the private equity world.
So it was like for me, it was,
I had like a little liquidation event and I got out
and I was like, okay, I want to do something different.
So it was, it wasn't like I want to get huge and popular.
It was more so I had an ebook at the time
and let's just market the ebook and let's talk about it
and see what happened.
And then once it started to work
and I started to realize that what I was good at
was kind of articulating more complex subject matter.
I'm like, you know, I'm good at this.
Like maybe I can use this for good,
and that's kind of where it all started.
So then once I realized that I actually,
and I actually really liked production, that was the thing.
So for me, like I built the studio and hired my team
just out of the sake of like, I wanna make a production company.
I really wanna do that.
And I was super into the gear, super into all that. So for me it was like okay, where this goes,
you know, nobody knows. Maybe it'll be more entertainment value, maybe it'll be more,
but I realized that I was decent at what I did. So let's just kind of roll with it. So then like,
the reason I think the channel took off the way it did early on is we were really pretty early
when it came down to adding production
value to health content.
Right.
Like we were like, let's elevate this.
So we were like the first ones to really be thinking about that.
I don't want to say the first ones, but it was definitely, there was nothing else on YouTube
in like 2017, 2016, 2017, where they were actually focusing on production value to talk
about just general health topics.
Yeah, we've been doing this for eight years now
and I think we all said before you came today,
we know we've made it once we have the V-Shred guy
on our show.
Yeah, this is,
I'm sorry, this is huge for us.
I saw you do a post, you're like,
I'm not V-Shred, let the hell spill it on here.
It's so ridiculous.
What?
That's fucking annoying.
Where did that work that come from?
I mean, it started with, I started with like a few comments
where people were like saying something, like,
oh, this is, I don't know, I don't understand how you can be
telling us not to do cardio and then here you're talking
about all these benefits of this and I'm just like,
what the fuck is going on? I never said that. Like contradicting stuff and then I would're talking about all these benefits of this and I'm just like, what the fuck is going on?
I never said that.
Like contradicting stuff and then I would just see other ones be like,
you're so gimmicky.
I'm like, I'm actually like, maybe I am.
I'm a gimmicky.
I'm like asking my wife what's going on.
Is my stuff gimmicky?
Like I really try to be like, not gimmicky.
I really try.
And then I started like realizing and I started connecting the dots.
I'm like, wait a minute.
Like, what the heck?
So I replied to one comment and was like, do you by any chance think that I'm V-Stread? And the person was like, oh my god, I'm like, wait a minute, like what the heck? So I replied to one comment and was like,
do you buy any chance to think that I'm V-Stread?
And the person was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry, yes,
I knew.
And then it was like a flood of comments underneath that,
and I thought that too, I thought that too.
So then like eight months ago, I posted a video
similar to one I just did, it's talking about like,
guys, I am not V-Stread, just like,
and I put it out there kind of dispelling the whole
cardio thing just because
like that was a big thing for me. I'm a runner. I love cardio. I'm not going to tell people
not to do it. And then I think I got out there. And that was where all the comments came
in. I'm like, holy shit, have my fucking audience thinks I'm V-Street. It's all time.
So then I got to a point where I really thought about it and I was like, how is this actually affecting my brand?
Like I'm just like thinking about it on the surface.
Like I'm sure once people watch my content they know,
but the way the YouTube algorithm works,
I mean it's serving our content out to,
you know, our audience, but probably a lion share
not to our audience just to try to test
to see where it wants to serve it.
And I'm like, there's probably so many people
that just like look at a thumb and think that I'm V-Street
and they don't click on the video
because they think I'm V-Street.
So it's, and then yeah,
it's time I do a video about it.
It's amazing the people that come out of the woodwork
and that are just like, yeah, I'm embarrassed,
but I did think this.
And I see contact to you,
is it become like a thing?
No, but I mean, I was thinking,
I was, I thought for a minute that maybe I should do
some kind of like collaboration with them, but I just don't necessarily wanna be associated with it. Yeah, I thought for a minute that maybe I should do some kind of like collaboration
with them, but I just don't necessarily want to be associated with it.
Yeah.
If I did that, it would just backfire.
I don't think anybody has really, isn't he kind of like, he's an actor.
I mean, he's just does these commercials and then he's probably out.
So I would imagine they're looking for more of his content and then they probably find
that you actually have like videos and tell the podcasts. Who was it that we met that actually told us like his kind of
his story like he was hired like that as like there's somebody else's behind the
scenes. They're behind the business and hired him as actually just like they hired
him to just do you know anything about that. Do you know his story? I know I mean just about that
right. I know that he's definitely not the brand like he is just the face of it. I met him once at some event before his brand ever exploded or did anything before
Orchid and say his brand, but the V-Holvich red thing.
And he seemed like just a regular dude.
He didn't seem knowledgeable or anything like that.
In fact, if anything, off-record, I mean, he seemed pretty dumb.
Well, that's what I've heard.
So I mean, I definitely don't think that he had any ability
to articulate anything at all.
I think it was just you know who knows.
Like I don't think he's reading off of a prompt or anything
but I think that it's straight up just.
Well he's the face industry.
Yeah.
Did you and it's what we're working with?
Yeah so I mean we you know getting into the space,
getting popular.
You came from private equity, okay?
Private equity, actually we had this conversation
when we first started the business.
There's certain industries where the top people,
they're all smart, like you go to private equity
and you're talking with a lot of influential people,
it's really smart people, tech, really smart people,
fitness, there's not a lot of really smart people,
there's some, but a lot of the people
you're competing with, I mean this is just but a lot of the people you're competing with
I mean, this is just true a lot of people you're competing with these look good and you hear what they say and you meet them in person and
You know, I saw it as an opportunity like oh, this is not gonna be too hard
but what's sad about it is the average consumer is
Getting information from people that they shouldn't be getting information from. When you got into the space,
were you surprised by this?
Because you were a consumer fitness for a long time,
or are you not so surprised by this?
It's a good question.
I wasn't really surprised,
because I also looked at it in a similar fashion,
and be like, oh my gosh,
but I looked at it from the aspect of like there's fitness
and then there's health,
and I saw this huge divergence between the two.
And I'm like, what?
First of all, that was really confusing to me.
As someone that came from sort of the outside in,
I'm like, wait a minute, isn't fitness healthy?
Yeah.
No, that's not.
There's fitness and then there's health.
But then kind of getting into it and realizing,
well, this is like shooting fish in a barrel.
What the hell?
This is like, these people just will say anything
that they can say to get a click and get a view and there's no actual depth.
But I don't think it's malicious.
I mean, I think it's actually somewhat the opposite.
I think it's insecure and it's just,
it's another attention grab, right?
It's the same way that someone wants to have,
subconsciously wants to have a six pack
or look a certain way.
It's some coping mechanism insecurity
and they kind of translates into how they operate
their business in a very superficial way
where it's just how can I get attention,
attention, attention, constantly seeking that validation.
So I saw that really quick and I'm like,
shit, if I just have depth,
I don't even have to be fucking smart.
If I just have depth, you know,
then there's something here.
Yeah, it's challenging because fitness is,
well like most things are sold visually. And what tends
to sell fitness to the average consumer, it's changing a little bit now, but it's still
very true, is how good do you look? Oh, you're jacked. I'm going to listen to you versus
this person over here who may be not be so jacked. And so it's hard to overcome in the space because the most fit, hot looking person,
they're gonna get more attention faster
and so you have to beat their message
and how do you beat it?
Well, that's the challenge.
The challenge is to beat it with the right information.
So that's what we've been trying to do this whole time.
So, totally.
Yeah.
So tell us a little bit about your start.
What got you into fitness personally?
And then we can talk about it how it happened professionally.
You started working out quite young, right?
Yeah, yeah, started out really young.
I don't know if you recently heard my podcast
with Chris Williamson.
Unfortunately, it was titled in a way
that's not gonna get the attention that it probably needs
because like the first 30 minutes I went like deep,
like deeper than I've ever gone,
where people are just like, what the hell,
I had no idea like, you know, coming coming from like eating disorder when I was a kid
and I ran my first marathon when I was 11 years old
and just kind of talked all about my mommy issues,
you know, really, like, it talked about,
so it gave a lot of context, but, you know,
I found lifting when I was about 13
and it candidly saved my life.
I mean, I think that I probably would have been in drugs,
I probably would have been in really bad shape
Kind of a little bit of a broken childhood. I mean who doesn't but in the moment nothing seemed as a kid
You only know what you know, right?
So it's not until you become an adult and you kind of look back and you're like realizing wow
That is a little twisted especially as a dad now. I'm like wow, okay things are a little odd
You know, so I was kind of exposed to pretty extreme things
at a young age just because my mom was just kind of wired
that way.
So I ran my first 10k when I was, I guess five or six.
I think I might have been six.
Yeah, so.
Did your parents put you into it?
Are you like, I wanna do that?
No, my mom was, she's not actually forced me into it.
But what I've reversed engineered out of my life now
is I understand now that the reason I'm running,
the reason I'm so into exercises,
if I wanted to earn my mother's love,
it was like, that's what you gotta do, right?
So it's like deeply rooted for me,
but I loved it, it wasn't like I didn't enjoy it as a kid.
It wasn't like my mom was like,
hey, you need to go run this marathon.
I ran my first marathon when I was 11,
and it was like something I enjoyed, right?
We backpacked the John Muir Trail when I was 12 years old, you know, from you know, Simony to Mount Whitney
It was like 230 miles. Like people were just like they thought my mom was insane, right? And I hated school
Like I just repeatedly would get you know, either suspended or I got expelled from preschool. It's a literally like I was
I know I talk about it. I was like, I was, I was talking about, I know, I was talking about this. It was like literally, I was eating all the Play-Doh.
No, I just would not have it.
I would not stay there.
I escaped, I escaped twice.
And I would repeatedly try to escape
because I wanted to fucking go home.
I didn't know.
And I was like, it wasn't like a show.
I knew from age like four that I'm just like,
no, like don't lock me in a space.
Like I don't want to be here, fuck this.
So anyway, I guess I give that context
because it helps people understand
sort of the disordered way of eating
that I also developed as a kid too.
So I went through when I was like 13, 14 years old,
my parents went through a divorce.
I had just ton of anxiety at that point in time,
like a really bad bout of anxiety
to the point where I was pulling my hair out.
So I had like massive bald spots and I was made fun
of it school because of that.
Just a weird thing.
So with that, I started developing these weird little
coping mechanisms.
So I used to, I was really skinny anyway,
but I used to like measure my wrist with my fingers.
And if I could sort of like rattle my wrist around
in my fingers, then that was a win for me.
It was like these little coping mechanisms.
I can control this, right?
Like little eating disorder behaviors.
And I was pretty OCD as a kid anyway.
Like I was always talked about this on some other shows,
but it was like, we had this hardwood floor in my house
where it was like these, what's the name of the place
where the Celtics play where they're like,
they have, no not mad, I always get confused.
It's Boston Garden.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you know how the floor there is like those squares
in some grains run that way and some grains run that way.
So I could only jump step on the grains
that would face forward otherwise,
in my mind, my mom was gonna die, right?
So there's always, there's a deeply rooted OCD that I had.
And anyway, so by the time I'm like 13, 14 years old,
like full-blown eating disorder
and running my ass off like a maniac
and my mom was going through some mental stuff
after the divorce, so I ended up going through
homeschool and was independent studied
from pretty much all of high school
and was working full-time to help support my mom.
So I kind of had just like a weird teenage years.
Well, you're working as a teenager?
Yes.
So I got my workers permit when I was 14 and I was doing independent study, which means
that I wasn't going to normal school.
I was still working through the school because independent study was a way for you to basically
home school, but through your own school.
And at the time, this just worked well for me mentally
because that's how my brain worked.
But then what I was really doing was,
I mean, I was working close to full time.
And that was some of the kids that were doing
independent study were doing that.
Like they were also working
because we could actually get elective credits
to be working.
So for me, I was working between 30 and 50 hours a week
when I was 14 and 15 years old
and helping support my mom.
And it was just, so at a young age,
I kind of just developed this work ethic anyway,
but it was like totally unconventional childhood.
Tom, let me pause you for a second,
because you said a lot,
and this is,
there's a lot of people listening right now
that might relate to some of the stuff that you're saying.
And you mentioned a few things about your eating disorders
of kid, where it was something you could control.
Looking back,
and this is common with people
who have eating disorders, especially kids,
it sometimes isn't related to body image issues,
sometimes it's just something I can control
in an environment that seems at a control.
Is that how it felt for you?
Absolutely.
And there was nothing felt out of control as that kid.
But now in retrospect, I'm like, wow,
that was a very dysfunctional thing.
And that's not throwing my mom or dad under the bus, right?
I don't talk about that stuff publicly.
Like, they were good parents.
But the bottom line is, you know,
there were things there that were definitely messing with my head.
To a point where I really felt like the only thing I could control
was my running, was a level of fitness,
but also what I put in my body.
It had nothing to do with body composition.
It wasn't like, I wasn't a 14 year old kid being like, I need to be super shredded.
It was a 14 year old kid being like, I get satisfaction out of abstaining from this,
or I get satisfaction out of the control that I can have by eating only this, or at this
time, or by running at this
time.
So it wasn't an actual relationship with food that was distorted.
It was much more just what I was getting out of the sensation of abstaining from food.
I'm so glad we're talking about this because there's a huge misconception with eating disorders
to where they all come from body image issues, but that's not
the case at all. Oftentimes they come from just needing to feel a sense of control. You also started
working at a young age to support your mom, so you were essentially preentified at a young age,
which that basically means that you now have this tremendous responsibility
and sense of value for this responsibility
that most kids don't have.
And you probably at the time,
you weren't aware of it looking back,
or you're like, oh yeah, that's, I was preentified.
I was almost like a parent, like I had to take care of things.
Yeah, no, definitely developed that very, very quick.
And it's not until I was an adult that I realized that,
wow, that's not very normal.
And not that normal is good or not normal is bad or good.
It's nothing like that.
It's just that that was very unconventional.
And I try to reverse engineer like,
why am the way that I am today?
Because people think, oh, this guy's just,
online creates content, whatever,
he's got money, he's got a beautiful wife,
he's got kids, whatever.
They don't realize like, no, that's the price that you kind of pay.
You have these weird experiences growing up
and you have these things that expose you different things
and frame who you are, there's the nature versus nurture, right?
So for me, in retrospect, when I look back at that,
I'm like, wow, I had to grow up really damn quick.
And I met my wife when I was 16 and she was 14,
and we just kind of like glombed onto each other
because we both came from pretty broken homes,
and we just found each other,
and like I've been with her since, right?
So there was just a level of having to mature very fast.
And when I was in middle school,
and I dropped acid when I was like in seventh or eighth grade,
I was fucked up.
And I'm so glad that I got through that stuff when I was in middle school, because by the time that I was like in seventh or eighth grade. I did, I was fucked up. And I'm so glad that I got through that stuff
when I was in middle school, because by the time
that I was 13, 14 had to grow up really quick,
I pretty much haven't touched alcohol since.
And it's like I got that shit all out of my system
and grew up really fast.
So the whole aspect of being purantified
and having to look after somebody and help out mom
and be able to support our house,
that was a huge piece for me just developing who I am as a person.
And unfortunately, well, maybe it's fortunate, but I mean, I didn't realize it until
really having my son.
So I got preentified into some respect, and that makes it hard for me to ask for help now.
Like, as an adult, one of the hardest things that for me to do is to ask for help.
I can go through all kinds of crazy challenges
and people around me won't even know,
or if they do, I don't say, hey, I need help.
It's very hard for me to do that.
Is that similar for you?
Totally.
Totally, and it reflects in my business,
and it even reflects at home, too.
You know, especially after having kids,
you realize, you kind of have to ask for help.
It's like the village mentality of raising kids.
And so how hard do I go?
How far do I push it before I'm just running myself
into the ground?
And you've probably experienced this.
I mean, I will just go until I die, right?
And so if it wasn't for my wife being able to step in
and recognize the signs of knowing me for 18 years,
be like, I know you're pushing it.
Like you're not sleeping. You haven't slept in four days,
like you're insomnias bad,
because I'll just go.
And there's no real,
and that's not trying to tut my horn,
saying like, I work harder than anybody else.
It's actually to my detriment.
It's not something I'm proud of, per se.
It reflects in my fitness, sure,
but how it manifests in my regular life
can be a huge detriment.
Like, I will not put the oxygen mask on myself first, in other words.
Yeah, I know, I get that.
Okay, so you got into lifting weights a little bit later.
You said like 13 years old.
About 13, 14, right?
When my parents were going through the divorce,
it was kind of a thing that brought me some sanity.
Okay, so what got you, because you were already exercising,
so it wasn't like you just discovered exercise or activity, what was it about the weight training that attracted you
and then why did you end up liking it or like running?
I thought about this a lot.
So with running, you know that you're going to encounter pain, right?
Like, that's the kind of, I've talked about this even with therapy before.
It's like, I chose running because it was like,
you can't go for a run without knowing
that you're gonna encounter some level of pain,
like it's just like being able to endure.
I really liked weight training
because I was able to reach that point of failure
and pain faster.
Oh wow.
So I've likened it to like doing a drug.
I was just gonna say, it's like fast acting drug versus.
Totally.
So I'm just like, I can get myself there and get to that pain level that
I need for that weird twisted massagistic mentality that I kind of had. I could get there really
quick. I could get there in seconds rather than minutes. And for me, it was like, didn't
think about that, but I'm like, Oh, I'm reaching this point really quick. And it's great.
And then I can be done. Oh, did you have any physique goals? or was it just, I'm just gonna go beat myself up every day?
No, I didn't really have much physique goals.
I mean, I did get a really good shape
when I was in high school.
I mean, there's no doubt about it,
but that wasn't really a goal of mine.
I mean, I didn't really care,
but because I was so skinny from running,
when I did put on muscle,
I looked super, super ripped.
I was just tiny, you know.
Okay, so how do you reconcile that with your approach today
with exercise?
Because you still run, you still train probably hard.
Obviously, stay tight on your diet.
Is there a point when you recognize in yourself
that this is not coming from a good place
and you start to tip over into old behaviors
or like how do you manage that and how often does that reoccur for you?
Yeah, it occurs a lot where I recognize patterns.
But I think the biggest piece with that is understanding what is a coping mechanism and understanding
what is real life.
And with that, I've been able to have an element of control over it that helps me just understand
why I'm doing something
so that that doesn't define me, so that just becomes an action.
I am still well aware to this day.
If I take breaks from running, I start not feeling whole anymore, right?
And that's the mommy issue is coming back, right?
That's the me not feeling like I'm earning love.
And I've talked about this so much of my wife where it's like, okay, if I have an injury
and I can't run, I start getting depressed, where it's like, okay, if I have an injury and I can't run,
I start getting depressed, I start getting like,
well, you could do so many other things,
you can go ride your bike, you can go do this,
you can still have other dreams to cardio, yeah, I'll do it,
but it doesn't check that box the same way.
So with that, I was able to really recognize,
be like, okay, this is something that my brain just craves,
but understanding that and being able to have
sort of a high level view of it helps me maintain control over that.
Where it's like, it's okay for me to still like running.
Right.
Like, it doesn't have to leave my life.
But I need to also understand that I'm going for a little bit of a fix when I do that.
Right.
And by leaning into that and understanding, like,
I'm not going to let this control me and own me, I'm going to own it.
Yeah.
Has allowed me to do it with peace, right?
Where if I do need to take a break from running, I can look at things in a different angle
and say, okay, I'm going to work in a constructive fashion that's going to help me maybe run better
later when I can run again.
Now as far as nutrition is concerned, I find it somewhat ironic that I end up being kind
of the fasting guy as the guy that was like abstaining from food, right?
And people kind of pick on that a little bit.
Like don't you think that you've just kind of,
have this adult version of your childhood eating disorder?
And in some ways, I'm like, you know, I probably do.
But it's also an iteration of the types of people
that respond so well to fasting.
Like a lot of times they are very one track minded people.
People that, you know, if we look at different diet types and we look at okay, they're let's say they're all the same
They all amount in the same results. They all end up at
Chaloric restriction at the end of the day if we just keep it very simple like that
Then it's like why does some people respond so good at fasting and some people not well probably just how their brain ticks
Totally, you know totally the benefits of fasting we've said this many times on the show
Which can also be the opposite for some people, is the psychological aspect of it.
This is why fasting is found in almost every religious practice.
It has nothing to do with fat loss.
Totally.
Has everything to do with abstaining from an essential need, which is food.
By the way, you can practice fasting with technology, sex, exercise, whatever you feel attached to, you can practice, fast thing.
I want to ask you a question because I'm connecting a lot with what you're saying.
Did you find your growth, or did you find a lot of growth, personal growth in relationship
to nutrition and fitness through teaching others?
Because for me, I didn't become as aware as I am now of my relationship with those things
until I started treating other people.
It's easier for me to care about other people
than it was to care for myself.
Did you find some leaps in that as you started to become,
like, oh, I'm this fitness guy,
I gotta talk about this, I'm teaching people.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah, no, it's the more that you explain something,
you're, there's something happening in your psyche
where you're also teaching yourself.
You know, and I've definitely found that
as I help people, I'm helping myself.
And does that sound like a self fulfilling prophecy?
Where am I just doing this to ultimately help myself?
I mean, I'd be lying.
If maybe that's the case, like maybe subconsciously
that is happening.
Maybe I want to help people because it also
is solving some of my problems, right?
But once you're stepping out of your element,
it's like you're stepping out of yourself
and being able to help people,
you can take a look back at yourself and realize,
wow, I also can't be hypocritical.
I can't look at this person and instruct
and delegate and explain without taking a cold,
hard look at myself.
Totally. And you have to do that. Otherwise, you're completely inauthentic delegate and explain without taking a cold hard look at myself.
And you have to do that.
Otherwise, you're completely inauthentic
and your content wouldn't go anywhere anyway
because people are gonna see that.
If you have integrity, if you have integrity,
do you intentionally abstain though then
from some of these practices
just so you can challenge yourself psychologically?
For example, if you know you have this kind of relationship with
You know running do you ever go like you know what?
I'm not gonna run this whole month because I need to be able to not run for a month and be okay for
Forseeable future in case I do get an inner injury or something happens and I can't do you practice things like that?
Okay, 100% 100% and that's and that is come as being a tool in my toolbox
so that I know I can be comfortable with that.
Because just like, I don't want to be dependent on a drug
or I don't want to be dependent on something,
I don't want to be dependent on running.
I don't want that to own me.
So, I absolutely, yeah, I mean, in fact,
I really just picked running back up a lot
within the last maybe a year to half or so.
Okay, cool.
Wow, interesting.
Now, back to when you were a kid and a teenager,
you're obviously different than most kids.
You're working full time, supporting mom,
working out a lot.
Most kids don't do any of that stuff.
Did you have a lot of friends,
where you were a loner, did you get picked on,
where you, would you have a tough time fitting in
when you were that age?
I definitely had a tough time fitting in.
I was the short shorts and hiking boots kid
I mean Right there. Yeah, so I was that kid. You everyone knows that kid right?
I do have a mallet to no, wasn't that bad, but you know and it didn't like these high tech boots look great with these short
Yeah, I can do karate and the best thing is like my
with these short short. Yeah, it's totally that.
I could do karate.
And the best thing is, my wife, I met my wife
and I was 16, she was 14, and we both grew up with horses,
and she was like a rodeo girl.
So she was like, skirt and cowboy boots are skirt
and hiking boots, so we saw each other,
we're like, we're meant for each other.
And it's something with that, it's kind of funny.
Because, no, I mean, I really had like the same two or three
friends through, from kindergarten through the rest,
all through high school.
But I definitely didn't fit in in school.
I was very, I wasn't picked on to the point
where like I was bullied, but I always felt like I just
didn't fit in.
There was just an element where I felt uncomfortable.
I didn't really like being in, you know, school.
I remember just like when I would have to go to high school
because I would have elective classes on campus occasionally.
So like, you know, it would have maybe one elective
so I'd have to go like two days a week to school or something.
I'd still have to go and report to my independent study teacher.
And I just remember like walking up and down the aisles
like during break and
just literally just like doing 180s like walking all the way in, walking back. And it wasn't
like I was a total, total weirdo. I could have had friends, but I just didn't. I just
like kind of so I don't understand why I was that way except for the fact that I felt
I just had bigger fish to fry and like social relationships at that point in time
just seemed like a waste of time.
So maybe it was just an act of maturing super fast
because when I was younger,
before I had to take on responsibility,
I had no problem just mingling and hanging out with friends.
But by the time I was like 14,
it just literally felt like a waste of time,
which it's not.
Obviously, no as an adult now that relationships
are probably the most important thing, but it's just a weird experience. Yeah, it wasn't in your world. In your world, it was, you know,
providing, helping, providing food on the table and worrying about your, your home life. Totally.
You know, hanging out with your buddies, making spit wads or whatever. Fair point. So how does
someone like you then, what was the transition then like for you to have grown up like that and be kind of this loner, you know, personality to the fame and attention that you get now?
Like was there this weird kind of awkward transition of like this is really weird from I went
from the kind of loner kid to now I'm like millions of people paying attention to me.
Yeah.
I mean, it's still weird.
It's still weird because it's not necessarily what I ever would have thought I'd be.
And I never would have thought that people would not give
two crafts about what I have to say, right?
So, but I also make sure that I don't abuse that
because I could see how that could turn into something
where it's like, you never listened to me
and now you're gonna listen to me.
But now it's something more like, this is cool.
Maybe I am being rewarded for my hard work
and being rewarded, so I try to view it like that and it's definitely odd like it still feels weird
I still what's the term like imposter syndrome right where you just kind of feel like this
isn't really real like people don't actually give a crap but they do and it's really cool
and it's a really fulfilling feeling yeah is a kid I read that you studied art history in
Italy yes another crazy thing that mom on did right it was like so she just flew over Yeah, is a kid I read that you studied art history in Italy? Yes, that's a lot.
Another crazy thing that my mom did, right?
It was like, so she just flew over there together?
We just, my mom, my sister and I, when I was 13, we went over, we studied, and we lived
there for like six months, and she was like, you guys are going to a homeschool, I was
in eighth grade, and we went over to Italy and like, we studied abroad, and it was just
a cool experience.
And part of it, I talked about this, on Chris Williams' podcast,
dude, part of the issue there was,
I was a 13 year old boy with a bunch of like 19 year old
college kids, and they thought that it would just be so fun
to like give me drugs and like,
you know, all that's the most rural that part of you do.
This is where like, I got a lot of that shit out
of my system fast, and it was so,
that's kind of a comical side of it.
But yeah, I mean, that was just an example.
And I come, I think about it later on
and that's a right when things with my mom and dad
were getting rocky.
And I think my mom was just like, let's,
let's just remove ourselves from this situation.
And you know, because on the outside looking in,
people were like, what about dad?
Like how come you and your mom and sister
are going to Italy, like your dad stay in back.
And I didn't really think anything of it at that time.
I'm just kind of like, no, this is cool.
It's a cool experience.
I longed for taking this to Italy and we're doing this.
And now I look back and I'm like, oh shit, you know what?
That was like right in line.
That's right when the divorce was starting.
And so there's a lot of other pieces to unpack there.
But it was a crazy cool experience.
Now, as your sister have similar experience in terms of like,
do you guys, do you have a good relationship where you guys have talked about, you know how this has affected experience in terms of like, do you guys, do you have a good relationship
where you guys have talked about,
you know how this has affected you in terms of like,
now as an adult, and is she a parent as well?
Yeah, okay.
My sister is a classic overachiever as well.
She was, you know, went to the Air Force Academy,
as Air Force Captain, got out.
She's, she works for, you know, team Rubicon now.
So she's, yeah, she's definitely an overachiever.
And she and I have talked about this anosium.
Like definitely.
We've really tried to analyze why we are the way that we are.
My sister is a professional Iron Man triathlete
for a number of years.
Now she's in insane mountaineer.
Like she just climbs the most insane crap.
Like she stood the matter horn.
She's like, just always, she's just extreme
in a completely different way.
Whereas I went extreme in this route,
she just went extreme in a way that's just totally different.
And it's both, in both of our case,
it's our significant others that kind of are the guardrails
for us a little bit,
because I think without them,
we might be a little too extreme.
And my sister,
she and I have kind of,
she's four years older.
So she went to the Air Force Academy right when I was just kind of getting into this point
where I was working and I was helping my mom.
And I could never figure out for the life of me why she was always super worried about
me.
So like when she first went off to school, she was like freaking out all the time.
Like, what's Thomas going to do?
What about Thomas? And I'm just like, I'm totally time. Like, what's Thomas gonna do? What about Thomas?
And I'm just like, I'm totally fine.
Like, what do you think?
Like, and now I look back and I'm like, ah, okay, I get it.
Like she was four years older, you know,
from the peanut gallery looking at this stuff.
Like, my poor little brother is he gonna be okay,
like through the divorce and through all this weird stuff
that's going on.
And so we've unpacked that a lot because there was a lot
of weird animosity between my sister and I for a lot, because there was a lot of weird animosity
between my sister and I for a long time,
because I had a lot of resentment,
because of how she kind of helicoptered over me,
and let me live my life, let me live my life,
and now I understand, you know, she just,
she's just, and she, I became a security blanket for her.
So through all these coping mechanisms that I developed,
she developed somewhat of a codependency
on taking care of me me because it made her feel
this level of parental control that she didn't really have
otherwise, at least that's how I unpack it.
So I wanna hear a either 13, 14 or 15 year old story
of your experiences with drugs,
because I imagine if you can recall something back then,
it was probably, yeah.
They're really funny, really crazy, really scary.
Totally. Yeah, give me, I mean, when I was like 13, I was probably, they're really funny, really crazy, really scary.
Totally.
Well, I mean, when I was like 13, I was stoned all the time.
I mean, I was just like that.
So that just became normal.
I grew up in Sonoma.
And if anyone's familiar with Sonoma Count,
it's just like what you do for sport.
It's just very weird.
Like, I mean, there's like, if you've ever been
through that county, I mean, there's fucking weed trucks
driving by with like shit flying out of them,
like full on land, cloud, grams of butts, just like fucking flying out. It's nuts like it's this normal life, you know go up and then like
You know up all the way up to Humboldt County the whole 101 corridors just like so I mean
As a kid and then Sonoma
It's like you've got winery so you've got that culture. It's like all there is for kids to do
Yeah, and I'm fortunate that I did it when I was really young
So that was just a functioning part of my like 13 year old
life. And then, you know, yeah, did acid a couple of times
when I was like 13 years old.
And I remember it was always with like the same close couple
of friends. So I was never like by myself doing it in a
creepy room or anything like that. But I just remember, I
remember vividly like being under this going under this
bridge afterwards. I was like down the street from my house,
and it was where we had built a tree fort
when we were kids.
So there was like a tree fort,
that was maybe like a hundred yards up,
and I just remember this tree fort
always being like symbolic in my life,
because as we built it when I was like seven
and it was there through high school and stuff like that,
and I just remember being there
and just seeing like crazy amounts amounts of bushes and stuff enveloping
this thing in real time.
It's probably my vivid memories as a 13 year old was basically taking acid and seeing my
tree fort enveloped by vines and bushes and not really understanding.
And now as an adult, who knows what else I was really experiencing.
All I want out of control kid trying to experience something. Yeah, yeah.
I felt like you were being enveloped by the world.
Probably.
Yeah, I was like that.
Wow, so okay, so what got you into, I mean, private equity,
I couldn't think of a more different space
than the fitness space.
Why'd you go there?
Yeah, so I mean, if we take a look at,
basically I went through a period where obviously
I gained a lot of weight, right?
So I think to end up how I, or talk about how I ended up there, we have to kind of look
at that.
So when I was like 17, 18 years old, and when I decided I want to start putting on some
muscle, I want to actually do this seriously.
And it became a little bit of a bodied, just more thick thing, where it was like, okay,
now I got the bug, and like this was cool, and I wanted to get big.
So I tried to put on as much weight as I possibly could, right?
So I did, I did pretty good.
When I was like 18, 19 years old,
I put on like probably 40 or 50 pounds,
just like eating like a madman and lifting
and really trying and really working hard.
And then essentially what happened is like,
how I ended up overweight over the next couple of years
is I went from taking this bulk
and then not really lifting anymore
as I got into my work life.
And I was kind of lifting like one day a week
but still eating probably if I had to guess
like 5,000 calories a day trying to gain weight.
So it was legitimately like a bulk gone wrong
and I've likened it to it's like Eric Cartman
and the beef cake episode.
I guess totally that.
It was legitimately.
So it wasn't like, and I always make making sure
that people know that I wasn't like this obese kid
or obese guy that was just a total slob, right?
I came rooted in fitness and my one track mind
kind of took me another direction.
And again, as I've talked through this,
I've realized that it was probably like an element
of weird self sabotage in my life
because I went where I wanted to gain a bunch of weight.
I wanted to kind of revolt against my previous self.
But then it's almost like I wanted to become overweight.
It was like a weird, it felt good to just binge and it felt good to just overeat.
And it felt good to do that because I felt like I was almost revolting against mom in
a way.
It was really bizarre because I look back at it and I'm like, why did I do that?
I wasn't a stupid kid.
I knew that if I ate that much food and wasn't working out,
it would all turn to crap.
So I ended up convincing myself that I was a power lifter
because I would go to the gym once every week
or once every two weeks, lift some heavy stuff
and then just eat a maniac.
So I ended up crazy overweight.
I ended up close to 300 pounds by the time I was like, you know, 2021 and realized, you know, at that. So I got into the private equity world because I was
in the healthcare recruiting space first. So I got into like a healthcare recruiting space where I
was recruiting physicians, recruiting healthcare executives. So I developed an understanding for
executives. So I developed an understanding for how the healthcare system worked and how that whole process worked. After that, I got into what is called an Ancillary Lab Services
company where we were basically providing like, Salary Cordesol testing and stuff to
fee for service physicians. So basically, I was ultimately in medical sales, right? That
company got acquired by a private equity firm. that's how I ended up in that world.
But with that, it was very interesting because that's how I learned to essentially sell to physicians
and sell to these healthcare administrative systems, basically understood how to sell biochemistry,
because that's what we were talking about all the time. It was like we were some of the early ones
implementing what are called MDDC campaigns, where it was like taking physicians
and putting them in practice with like chiropractors,
so that chiropractors could also prescribe,
we're not legally prescribed,
but have a doctor in their office that they could prescribe.
And it was a really interesting business,
and that's how I learned how to like articulate
this biochemistry, I'm like, I'm really good at this.
So long story long, that's at a point
where I'm realizing, okay, you've probably heard my story
about the Jack in the Box thing, that one's floating around.
Okay, so that's how I ultimately decided
I needed to lose weight.
It's really kind of a funny story.
So I was only overweight for a short period in my life,
like three years, two, three years.
But it was like my weekly thing to go to Jack in the Box
and get those Jack in the box tacos,
like those translucent things
that I still crave to this day.
20 of those for 10 bucks.
What is it about those things?
Like, maybe put drugs in the same thing.
Dude, it was insanely good.
And it's not like that was just a thing I did
when I was overweight.
When I was running cross country in high school,
I would go eat those after running.
So it was like a childhood thing that I always loved those.
But anyway, when I was overweight,
I would go and get like six you know, six or seven of them
or whatever, and I'd eat them usually in the parking lot,
and I'd go through the drive-through
and then I'd sit in the parking lot and eat.
And at my heaviest, when I was just about 300 pounds,
I had pulled out of the drive-through,
parked in a stall, and I was eating these tacos,
and a friend of mine that's kind of
more of a acquaintance drove by,
and this is like the important part of the story,
how much I've like analyzed it.
He was just in a acquaintance so it wasn't a close friend,
but he drove by and he acknowledged
that I was there just eating these tacos.
And at that moment, I realized
that I wasn't really hiding from anybody.
It was like this weird epiphany that came over me
where this dude that wasn't a close friend,
just a random guy that I kind of knew,
nonchalantly waving, like, oh, this is what I would expect this 300 pound Thomas to do.
Like, this is life, and it clicked with me all of a sudden,
be like, this, I'm that guy.
Like, I'm the guy, like, that's, they expect me to be here.
So that was my call to action.
It was like, I don't wanna fucking be the Jack in the Box guy.
Oh, wow.
Like, I don't wanna be that dude.
So, hot sauce just dripping down.
Yeah.
And I, I mean, I have had Jack and Vox tacos since.
Like, and I haven't relapsed as a result.
But I guess the point is, is that it wasn't someone coming to me and saying, you're going
to die if you don't lose weight.
And I've talked about this before too, but I made myself type your diabetic in that period
of time by as far as fast and blood sugar is.
So I mean, I remember being at like a 144, my fasting glucose.
So it just goes to show from like a biochemical side of things,
and we have that discussion for a second,
how quickly you can fuck your metabolism.
Totally.
Like massive overfeeding for a short period of time
and inactivity, you absolutely can make yourself
insulin resistant.
So it took me like five or six years
to really get rid of that, even after losing weight.
Like the damage that was done there
took a long time to unravel.
Anyhow, that's how the weight loss cascade started.
And because of the industry that I was in, I really was privy to some pretty cool stuff.
Like in the world of healthcare, what's called fee-for-service is it's much more what is commonly known today as concierge medicine.
You have doctors that for lack of a better term are kind of performance based.
Okay, like if you look at the traditional healthcare continuum,
you can get a doctor-
They can be paid privately, right?
Yep, doctors aren't really incentivized for outcome.
And it's a broken system in that way, right?
They're like, you patients no matter what.
They get patients, totally man.
And it doesn't matter because they're getting reimbursed
no matter what.
But with concierge medicine, I think it's a great thing
because these doctors are actually like,
no, I need to get a result.
I mean, there's still insurance involved on part of the side.
But as far as them actually wanting to keep you on,
or you have them on retainer, you want to have a result.
So interestingly enough, this was, you know,
what, 12 years ago or so, where physicians were like,
hey, actually fasting might be something you want to try.
And it was just me being like,
hey, I'm going to lose some weight. Like, do you just me being like, hey, I'm gonna lose some weight.
Like, do you recommend anything?
Like, yeah, you might wanna try fasting.
I did it and through the weight really did just fall off
of me. Like, it wasn't hard for me to lose weight
with fasting because that's how my brain was.
And this is very black and white for someone like you,
it's easy. Like, oh cool, just do this and then done.
Yeah, especially with how I was wired.
Like, I was such like a just laser focused person.
So, I mean, I lost like 50 pounds in like the first
three or four months. I mean, it lost like 50 pounds in like the first three or four months.
I mean, it was really impressive how fast the weight came off.
Granted, I wasn't super overweight for very long.
So it probably was easier to come off.
And I'm very honest about that.
But this was all happening as there was like a liquidation
event going off the company that was in.
And that's what kind of slingshot at me
into what I do now.
I had some interstitial stuff there
that I did for work in between
after that liquidation event.
How did you get shares in the company?
Did you just give them to you by working for them
or did you buy some?
Yeah, so basically just the sales position
that I was in, I earned some shares.
So I basically took options
and basically was able to exercise those options.
Wow, wonderful.
Wow.
Now here's, I always find this challenging,
but you don't seem to be in this category.
I always find it challenging when I talk to high performers
like you who tend to, who have that laser-focused mind,
where you can just turn on light switch.
Like this is what I'm gonna do and I'm gonna do it.
And oftentimes I get challenged
because they communicate health and fitness
as if they're talking to a bunch
of them.
Like, oh, this is what you do.
Oh, why can't you do it?
You just do it.
Just turn it on, turn it off, and that's what you got to do.
You don't necessarily do that.
You don't talk about it that way.
Was it, did you identify like, oh, wait, I mean, average person doesn't respond to you.
Or did you start off that way?
Have to figure it out.
Yeah, I did start off that way.
So if you look back and I think I'm having to undo
a lot of the damage that I did,
even like seven, eight years ago with my brand,
and I say damage and like I think I helped a ton of people.
But man, did I live in an echo chamber
for what worked for me?
And I think I messed a lot of stuff up, right?
Like I think I wouldn't undo anything.
Like I think I'm becoming known as the guy that was like, hey, I liked Thomas
because he's willing to change his mind
and willing to change his views on things
for things that make more sense
or at least are legitimately backed up.
So yes, I absolutely have lived in that echo chamber.
But that's sort of a discussion about my way
of thinking in my nutritional views,
perhaps being more dogmatic.
That's somewhat of a different discussion
than what you're articulating here.
For me, yeah, we call those the optimized bros, right?
The people that are just like,
you're talking such fine-tuned stuff,
and you're like, no, just flip the switch and just do this.
What, not everyone is wired like that.
But I think having that period of time when I was overweight
and also having somewhat of a sales background,
you have to be able to mirror,
you have to be able to have that,
you know, as Chris Voss would put it,
that tactical empathy that happens just as being
in a sales position.
And I don't wanna say that my content was created
because of that, but I think my skill set with that
allowed me to take a look, be like,
well, who's viewing my content?
Like, people were viewing my content
because I was talking about intermittent fasting
and stuff early on,
because that's what worked for me. And especially at that time, intermittent fasting really was used more so for people wanting to lose weight.
Now it's more of a hack and a tool for people and you see a lot of the fitness community kind of adopting it.
But really, I'm like, well, who's watching my content?
And you just got to know your avatar.
So I think for me, it was being able to know, okay, well, it works for me because I'm a freak,
an understanding that I might be a little bit of a freak and a little bit obsessive,
but I am an anomaly.
And most of the people here just,
they need to understand why this works, how this works,
and you need to bring it down to a basic level.
They're not experienced, they're not living in this world.
Yeah, I mean, look,
you speak path, same thing.
Yeah, I think that's your training people in gyms.
I think that's your integrity speaking
because we all started the same way.
Most people getting to fitness have a different relationship
with fitness in the average person.
I mean, it took me five years to figure that out,
at least five years, where I wasn't talking to me,
you know, where I would think,
why don't you just do it, just follow this, just do that.
That's what I do.
But eventually I had to be like, okay,
why is this not working for most people?
And it's because most people don't view fitness and diet the same way.
For them, it's just the way to enjoy their lives and improve their lives. For me, it was life.
So it was very different. And so you saying you can go back and say I was wrong.
And here's how I view things now. That's your integrity speaking, I think.
It sounds like you really care about helping people.
Would you say that's true?
Yeah, I mean, I get off on it, man.
I mean, that's what drives me.
It's being able to, and really since having my son,
like I have a son and a daughter,
but my son, you know, it's five and a half,
after having him, it changed everything
with how I looked at how I created content.
Because now, like, I look at my son
as a five year old boy, and I look at an adult that's struggling with something,
and I can't help but look at that,
even angry, frustrated, 40 year old man,
and look at him as a five year old boy.
That's someone's son.
That person has a mom, a person has a dad,
and even though their shell might be this angry,
frustrated person, I can't help but be like,
look at my son, and he's gonna be a grown up one day.
And like, it just changed everything.
So now, I don't wanna say I've talked everyone
like a five year old, but I understand
that when I'm talking to someone
and I'm talking to them about health and fitness,
that is a place where they have massive insecurities
more than likely.
So their shell's gonna go up, their guard is gonna go up,
they're gonna be defensive, whether they want to be or not,
because subconsciously, they're hurting.
I'm like, I got to break through that and talk to the five-year-old in there and help
them understand that, like, dude, I get why this is going on, but let me explain what's
happening in your body so that you can actually get excited about this.
And that's just, it changed everything, man.
I do think that the content prior to me having my son was good, but it was just so dense.
And I think I look back at that content and it's crazy.
Like there was nothing malicious about it, obviously, but like there was something missing
and even like connection.
And I'm like, man, like it's so different now.
Now was this, would you say like as you were creating and developing content initially,
were you more conscious that other coaches would be looking on
and sort of that imposter kind of thing
where you're trying to over educate on some level
like your audience or were you just more focused on the audience
and then you know, had interactions with coaches later.
Yeah, that's a really good question.
I haven't thought so much about that,
but I realized a few years into it that, wow,
my content is actually just like other people, helping other people create content from
my content.
And in a weird defensive way, it actually kind of made me change my content.
And all people are doing is they're just ripping off my stuff.
You know, and that's kind of like I was looking at it in like a mouse protecting my cheese
sort of thing.
So in a lot of ways, it changed my content as a defensive strategy, but it ended up changing it for the better. Because
I was like, I don't want to necessarily just be out here helping. I mean, this is going
to sound bad, but I've always had like a distrust and a disgust towards the fitness industry
where I'm just like, guys are just like going to just rip off my shit and pawn it off as
you're out. So let me go direct.
So I start realizing I need to talk to the audience directly
and where I was really good was sort of getting
that passion across and being able to explain things
in a way that we're so passionate that the viewer
would get excited about it.
And other coaches would be like,
okay, well, I'm not like getting as much out of this.
And then now, I mean, now it's at a point where I can do a little bit of both, where I
even try to have like a thumbnail strategy where it's like people understand, like this
is going to be more optimized, like high level content, and this is going to be more basic
content.
So now I can have like a, you know, little segments and how it's broken up, but that's
a really good question.
Because I mean, other than like the superficial level that I've looked at it, it was almost
a frustration.
Like I still am frustrated with the fitness industry.
No, the most frustrating industry in the world,
do you tell us the world what we talk about?
They're 99% of the shit troll comments, you realize that.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like you've had to have had interactions with other
people.
Dude, they're fucking horrible.
Like it's like, it's the people that, like,
and then obviously there's good ones.
There's tons of good ones.
And the good ones are, we're starting to get to a point now
in the industry where the good ones are actually
floating to the top.
Finally.
It's awesome.
Because it's, yeah, like you look at the comments,
you look at like who's actually talking smack.
And if you go and you click on them, you're like,
oh, of course, you're, you know, 6% body fat Bob,
but let's, you know, or you're, you're Jared or Chad,
you know, you're, you're, and yeah, you're,
of course you're gonna talk shit because,
oh yeah, look at,, look at your profile,
oh, you're nutrition coach.
It's always that guy, right?
It's frustrating because you never get shit comments
from people that you're actually helping.
You know the irony in that is,
I try and help other fitness content creators
when they're putting their stuff together
is to learn how to ignore that
because the irony is that person or those people
represent such a small percentage of the client.
And this was easy for us because we came from the gym,
culture first, we actually were training people in person.
And when we got introduced to the social media space
and now we're on YouTube and all this shit,
and we're reading these comments,
and I'm seeing who's responding.
I'm going like, that guy never bought training from me.
That girl would never buy a truck like,
I don't even care about them.
They're not even my customer.
So why am I giving that any sort of energy?
I'm not gonna focus on that.
I'm gonna continue to ignore my peers
that are criticizing the way we communicate
or we say something,
because I'm focused on helping the other 85%
that all these people in the fitness space are missing,
because they're all trying to impress each other
and get into a pissing contest of who's more right
about this nuanced thing.
Meanwhile, missing the majority of people
that really truly need your help.
Yeah, I want to talk a little bit about world dads,
we're all fathers here and you said some stuff that,
I think we can all relate to.
When you had, so your son's your oldest,
and then you have a three year old daughter.
At what point did you real,
because I can't, it's hard,
I think it's almost impossible to explain to somebody
who doesn't have kids because it's such a profound, unexplainable, I think, experience.
If you care, right, I guess there's people who have kids that don't give a shit, but if
you really care to be a good parent, you can't help but have this like crazy.
When did it hit you?
When you had your kid where you were like, oh, this is way, this is crazy.
This is different than more different than anything I ever thought and nothing's ever
going to be the same.
When did that hit you?
Yeah, there's, okay, the obvious one is like,
right when he was born.
That's not the big hit, the big hit kind of comes later.
That's a big hit.
Your son's born, you're holding him, you're like,
holy shit, I remember vividly leaving the hospital
with my wife and my wife and I being like,
they're sending us home with the same thing.
It's harder to adopt the fucking dog.
Is that weird? I have to say you thought. I have to come. It's harder to adopt the fucking dog. Is that weird?
I have to say thought.
I have to come to a home check if I adopt a dog.
They have to make sure my backyard doesn't have holes in the fence.
And they're letting me leave with this damn thing.
And so we're just like holy crap.
I think when we actually brought him home,
versus when he was just born and popped out,
that was when it really hit.
But it was when my son was able to start communicating with me.
And there's all these different moments.
There's all these different moments.
And I'm going to, this is fresh in my mind.
So I'm going to say that something hit me so hard literally last night.
My son was having a bit of a meltdown.
He hit his sister, did something. But he really wanted me to come outside and play a specific
game with him that he was playing.
And we said, okay, no, I can't go out and play with you.
You just hit your sister, we need to deal with this issue and whatever, kind of a, you
know, reprimand him.
However, you need to be reprimanded and disciplined.
However, that situation looked.
And he starts breaking down and he cries and he looks at me and he's like,
I just want you to come play.
I just want you to come play.
And then he looked at me and the face,
he says, you can come play with me
and then you don't have to play with me anymore.
And it was like, like he was saying it like,
and I'm not like, it's like how he's interpreting things.
He's internalizing this as you don't wanna play with me.
And don't worry dad, like I'm just asking you
to come play with me, then you don't have to play with me. Oh,'t worry, dad, I'm just asking you to come play with me, then you don't have to play with me anymore.
My wife and I, we teared up, we were like,
gutted, I'm like, it just hit us.
It makes you really realize how you think someone
is thinking a certain thing, and just what their actual
operating system is teaching them.
And this whole situation on the surface, my wife and I are like,
we're just dealing with the fact that you hit your sister. Right, right. We're not. But he may
interpret it totally different. And he interpreted it as, Dad really doesn't want to play with me.
I'm bad. I don't like that. Yeah, don't worry, Dad. I just want you to play with me for a minute,
and then you don't have to play with me anymore. And it's like hugged him. And I was just like,
dude, I love you so much. I want nothing more than to play with you. I would like to spend my entire day playing with you. And being when you try to explain things to a five-year-old, it's
life is full of these moments like that. Whether teaching moments for us, but teaching moments
for our kids, and how we internalize that, and we have a choice to grow from that and be
a better human from that, or we can completely discard it.
And unfortunately, a lot of people would probably just discard that, even said that, but I internalize that.
And I'm like, wow, how do I become a better human out of this?
Not just for my kid, but also in how I create content.
And people's different states of mind that they're in at a certain point of time might be that of a five-year-old,
just because they're emotionally broken or whatever, and you got to be able to do that.
But I would say back to your original question, okay, there's all these little moments,
but when he could finally communicate with me, and when he could finally articulate his
emotions better, that was a huge thing.
I'm like, this is actually a real human being that isn't just whining and screaming and
crying when he's upset.
He can explain that something's wrong.
I'm like, I am actually driving this human
to help him become what he's gonna be.
With my daughter, it was a little bit different though.
It's just kind of different with boys and girls.
Like with my daughter, there was like this
very pivotal moment because she was all about mom
for like the first two years of her life.
All mom, all mom wanted like a stiff arm to dad and kind of hurt me.
His dad, I'm like, I just want this bond with my daughter.
And you know, it's just very simple where one day my wife was holding her kind of on her hip
and my daughter reaches for me.
And she's just like, I want dad to hold me.
She's like, reaches for me.
And it was like, amazing just the difference.
Like holding my daughter and just feeling that embrace.
It was that moment where everything kind of changed for me.
And just the relationship with a girl versus a boy.
I know this is long-winded, but you've probably noticed this too.
You have boys and girls who are doing this.
I got two and two boys.
He's got two boys, two girls.
He's got two.
I've got one.
He's got both boys and girls.
Okay.
With girls, I notice I understand what makes my wife tick.
Cause you see it broken down at such a core level.
And I'm like all these things that are masqueraded
by various defense mechanisms that we put on as adults.
And like I understand like my daughter would just have
these like outbursts and wanna go beat by herself.
And I'm like, wow, and I have conflict with my wife.
That's how she is as an adult.
Like she might have an out person,
and she just wants privacy.
She just wants to be alone.
And like, I'm the fix it, fix it.
So like, all of a sudden, she's like,
chaser, no, no, let's fix this.
And she's just like, no, fuck it, leave me alone.
And like, never could really understand that.
And then with my daughter, it's like,
I see this at a such a simple core level.
And then my wife has said in separate occasions,
when looking at my son, she understands
how I tick now. So I don't know, man, there's so many pieces. I can talk about this stuff for
every year.
Oh, it's 100%. So I've been telling these guys, you know, I'm really deep into learning
about young, so I have two, I have four kids, two or older and two or younger as a big age
gap in between them. And I look at my, you know, I'm learning a lot
about raising little ones, a toddler and infant.
And through the process, I'm learning a lot about like adults.
And I think it's because with kids, with kids, you,
especially your own kids, you, like when your daughter is young
and she's acting a particular way,
you're more likely to be like, well,
okay, honey, understand, but you know what your wife does, you're way, you're more likely to be like, well, okay
Honey, I understand but you know what your wife does you're like you're an adult you should be acting this way or whatever
So with your kid, it's more pure I guess the emotions come out more pure and so it helps you understand
I think adult emotions in your own
I I don't think you could become a better dad without becoming a better person. I think it's impossible you have to
Yeah, they go hand in hand for sure now you Now, you guys have been together since you're 16.
Did you at one point go through a phase
where maybe you work gonna have kids
and what made you wait this long?
Yeah.
We weren't even gonna have,
we went a lot of our relationship
and we're never gonna have kids.
We're never gonna have kids.
Wow.
And then some more story.
Yeah, we just like where, as a matter of fact,
we, this is crazy. Like the a matter of fact, you know, we,
this is crazy,
like the amount of like density that happened with this.
But we found out we were pregnant on,
I guess it was Valentine's Day 2017.
And my wife presented me with a Valentine's Day card
with the pregnancy test in it.
She had just found out that morning too.
And the sneaky bastard video in my reaction,
you know, we were planning, right?
So she gives me this,
she found on a Valentine's Day card,
I'm like getting ready to go to the gym.
And I like, I've got my gym bag and like,
I open this, I'm like us, we've on a Valentine's Day card
and like it turned white as a ghost.
And this video, it's just hilarious.
Like I think like my eyes kind of rolled back
into my head for a minute, like total shock.
And it's like, I don't like 15 seconds of just being frozen.
And then I remember thinking like, well, shit, like,
okay, this is happening.
So like, force a smile for a minute.
Because otherwise, she's gonna get really mad
as to impart mentalize and think about it later.
And yeah, I mean, it took me a few minutes
before I was just like, you know what,
I'm excited about this.
I'm excited about this.
But we had never, I wouldn't say at that point,
we were opposed to having kids. We were just going throughout our lives.
But we had a lot of stuff going on. Like our dog had just died four days or three or four days
earlier. My dad was on his deathbed and ended up dying two weeks later. So it was like so much
stuff happening all at once, or as a dog dies, find out we're pregnant
and then dad dies.
That was that whole thing was just a life changing experience right then and there.
But yeah, a lot of our life, you're just like, we're good.
We don't need that.
We were, so I have a similar story too, right?
So I ended up having my son much later in life, almost 40 years old when I finally did.
Now I have my own reasons why we used to talk
why maybe we won't have kids
and that was a common conversation in our house.
So leading up before that even,
before that situation happened,
was there a reason that you both were like,
okay, we could have no kids and I'm fine with that.
Was there anything in particular
like how you each were raised
or your thoughts on where you were currently at in your life?
Like what made you potentially not want to have kids back then?
I think at that point my wife and I had had realized how just served our childhoods were,
and we're like, we don't necessarily want to do that again. We don't want to bring kids into that.
And then something changed after she got pregnant. We're like, this is an opportunity to not do that.
Totally.
So once you're presented with the opportunity
or presented with the reality of it,
you're like, well, we ain't going back.
So let's just not do that.
Because we, and also, I think there's a lot of selfish reasons,
right?
Like, oh, we just, you know, wanna be able to,
we've got four dogs, you know, we've got horses,
like, let's just, you know,
enjoy our life with our animals.
And it's just crazy how the vantage point that it gives you on life once you do
have kids. Oh, yeah, especially late. So my wife and I, we play this game where, uh, that's
and you can do this too, because you've been together for a long time. We were two. Uh,
what would 25 year old you be as a dad? What are, what are the things when you, when you
know your 25 year old self pretend you had the five year old and the three year old,
what mistakes would you see yourself making as a father? I mean, it's easy to say there wouldn't be the
concessions of the sacrifices like it would be
I would even go so far as saying my wife and I would probably have split up. We'd probably you know what I mean?
It's like probably like
It just things get hard now and like to have the maturity to understand like we are, no,
we're a unit.
Like, we don't, now when we have conflict, it's constructive conflict to drive the family
forward as a team.
If I disagree with her, she disagrees with me, it's not an attack on our identity.
It's no, how do we, how do we apply these two things together?
Where can there be concessions to ultimately make this family move forward?
Because we are a team, we are a unit. I think when you're 25, you don't have that mentality yet.
You're still thinking about yourself. So anything that threatened me as an identity of the 25-year-old
was already a struggle. And it kind of, I've kind of felt like my wife and I,
there were periods, you know, when we were in our 20s where we maybe had one foot out the door
all the time, where we're just like protecting ourselves.
Protecting, how do we make sure it's like,
you do something wrong, I'm still protected
and I'm still okay on my own.
We're now, it's like both feet in,
and if shit got really, really bad,
I'll deal with it when I deal with it then,
because right now it's all about being all in.
It's not having one foot partially out,
whereas not to say at 25, we were a weak relationship
at all, we were really strong,
but having kids really puts pressure on wherever
those little fragmented joints.
Yeah, on your profile, you have like father on there.
So this is obviously something that I mean,
you think was I have to do fitness,
but I think it has a lot to do with just,
I guess growth and being a better person, which is kind of part of your brand.
Do you ever communicate to young man about this?
Because I feel like media makes fatherhood look like it sucks or like it's terrible.
Or you lose a lot, you lose your freedom, you can't do this, you can't do that.
Dad's looks like idiots on TV.
Do you ever talk to that at all?
Or to a certain degree, I do.
Sometimes I get algorithmically pigeonholed? To a certain degree, I do.
Sometimes I get algorithmically pigeonholed and I think to my, I need to probably be stronger
about just speaking about those kinds of things, even if they don't get the viewership,
because eventually they will, right?
That's just an algorithmic thing.
But sometimes, yeah, that's something that I have pledged to myself to do, like even
if the content doesn't perform, if it feels good and it feels like it's helping,
even a few people, I'm gonna put it out there.
I don't care.
Because yes, you are absolutely right.
Like, fatherhood is put in a really weird light.
You're either like the cheesy father
that is super dopey and super, you know,
like what's his name?
Family guy.
Yeah.
Flanders from the house.
Yeah, I was like, Flanders I was gonna say even, you know, got his name? Family guy. Yeah, Flanders from Yeah, I was a Flanders. I was gonna say even you know, what's got his name?
Just died recently full house. Oh, yeah, you know
Yeah, you know the full house version not the not the
Yeah, exactly so you know where it's just like oh my gosh that was such a like a stick in the mud
Yeah, so you see that,
and I'm like, I don't really wanna be that,
but that's not what fatherhood is at all.
It's the most eye-opening experience.
And it's so interesting, and you guys,
I'm sure you see this, you can just tell someone
that doesn't have kids versus someone that does,
as a man.
And we also, now I just wanna shout it
from the rooftops even more
because I feel like
families are threatened.
This entire societal movement right now is like don't have kids, don't have families.
Population collapses a very real thing.
And it is our biological inherent need to grow and procreate and have this.
And I don't want to sound like a cheesy person saying that but it's like family values are threatened and it's like not cool to have family values in some people younger people's eyes now.
But that means that our generation is left in this weird gray area where we have half the world viewing us as you guys are awesome fathers and half the world viewing you as like why would you guys ever have kids? And being able to explain
and teach people that this is something that not only is good for the world and good for
your family, but it really is good for you. It's not just sacrifice. I've grown, yes,
they're sacrifices, but I've grown exponentially in the last five years of having my son
much more than I did in the previous 30 years being alive.
Yeah, nothing meaningful is easy.
It's just bottom line.
Everything meaningful is hard.
And I think when you choose to not raise a child,
you lose the opportunity to develop quite possibly
the deepest relationship you could ever develop.
Because where else can you raise someone from birth to adulthood?
And that depth, like that connection, you really can't, I mean, I don't know how you can
find it anywhere else.
And why would you want to give that up?
It's great.
But I mean, it makes sense from a consumer standpoint to tell people not to have kids and
tell people to stay single or just be, you know, Peter Pan, because you buy more shit
and you're easier to manipulate
and you always want the shiny new thing.
Cause I don't know about you, but when I became a dad,
like all that stuff became way less important.
Like I do not care nearly as much about buying stuff
and being a consumer than I did when I didn't have kids.
It just, it changes all that in a big bit.
Almost instantly I found for me at least.
Yeah, no, you just like utility.
That's like what it comes down to.
Like I care about utility now.
I'm like, what is gonna make our family function smoother?
And like nothing bright and shiny.
Like I don't care about that.
Like it's not, that's not even cool things
that you would ordinarily buy to feel good about yourself.
It's like if I, my son was to look at something that I bought, like he would question,
like, why did you get that?
And I'd have to answer that question.
Because I, well, you see there's this,
like, gap in my manhood.
And you know, like, that's such a cool lens though.
I share that all the time when people ask me,
like, what's one of the biggest differences now
that I have a son?
And I was like, I look at things through that lens now
that I would have never lived my son.
Yeah, what would my son say, or what would he ask
if he caught me doing that, or saw me do that,
and he asked me about it, and then I had to respond.
I'm like, looking through that lens
really gives you this unique perspective on like,
oh wow, geez, how would I communicate that
of blowing that money, or doing that,
or acting that way, or talking about something like that.
Like, it's such a unique thing about fatherhood that I didn't see coming and then afterwards
it was a big change for me.
When you see your five-year-old and three-year-old, we're talking about society right now and how
different the landscape is to just already in this generation compared to our generation, what are you concerned
about most and what do you think about most like with their upbringing and how it's going
to be different and what do you see is one of the most concerning things?
Yeah, I mean, I would be lying if I didn't address kind of the elephant in the room that's
probably related to my brand too, is like, what's going to happen?
Is he just going to be like super sedentary? Everything's going to go to tech and like, what's gonna happen? Is he just gonna be like super sedentary,
everything's gonna go to tech,
and like there's nothing I can do about this,
because it's just the way the world is gonna be,
and is like, is he gonna be dependent on your technology
and pharmaceuticals just to keep them alive?
Like I really do think about that.
Like that's like what kind of quality of life is that?
Then there's the selfish things,
like is he going to get to experience the cool things
that I got to experience with, you know,
being outdoors and backpacking, and that stuff even going to exist? Is he going to even have a
desire to have a family? Is he going to enjoy the thrills of like getting a driver's license and
driving a car or is it all going to be like self-driving things? Like is he going to these like visceral
things that like I enjoy, but I also try not to look at it
from a selfish perspective with that,
is we like, you know, there is a season for everything,
and if he's gonna grow up in a season
where things are different, that might be the way it is.
I don't want him just to share the same experiences I had.
Like, I just want him to be happy,
but I don't want, and I say him,
because I'm speaking about my son,
but in my daughter, it's going to be this similar situation,
but I think there's gonna be different challenges
for men and women as we go forward. And, you know, with my son, but in my daughter, it's going to be this similar situation, but I think there's gonna be different challenges for men and women as we go forward.
And you know, with my son, it's like,
just, is there gonna be,
is this gonna be a world of just anxiety and depression
like our younger generations are kind of experiencing now?
Like, is he just gonna be stressed out all the time?
Like, how can I give him the tools
to be confident in himself and be able to find happiness
with himself? And I explain this to him now, and I'm going to continue to iterate as he gets older,
that I always say, and I say to other people too, if you cannot be happy in a room with nothing
in it, then you have work to do. And what I mean by that is, you need to be able to be happy
with just absolutely nothing and sitting happy with yourself, right?
And hopefully, I can instill that in him where he just kind of learns,
okay, I need to look inside and I need to feel happy
with what I'm accomplishing because that's where that true dopamine hit
comes from your satisfaction with yourself.
And then with my daughter, I look at the situation like, well, is,
I don't even know what to think there,
because things are just so bizarre.
I guess she, like, does she need to become stronger?
Does she need to take on the roles that my son would normally take on more?
It's just to survive, just to defend. It's bizarre.
I can relate with my son more because as a man, I look at him like what's going to happen to you as a man?
My daughter, I'm like dumbfounded.
I don't even, and I don't wanna sound totally pessimistic
about the way the world is going.
It's not like my intent.
I think there's positive attributes
to things that are happening,
but it's just a bizarre time to be growing up.
Oh, yeah.
100%.
It's hard to be prepared for it
because it changes so, so down quickly.
You choose the homeschool.
How come?
Well, I mean, there's the logistical reasons that we travel a lot, right?
There's that's a simple logistical reason. But I also am a firm believer that I think my
kids are going to learn a lot more traveling with us and seeing the world than they ever
would in a conventional school system. You know, and we're the process of finding like hybrid
school options where they can still go to school a couple of days per week, but they're
not going to be true. If we take them out and we go go somewhere.
Right. So I really think that I want to teach my kids how to care for themselves, how
to be entrepreneurs, how to make money while providing value to people, but also just
have real world experiences. I look back and I might shoot myself in the foot for saying
this, but I mean, like the conventional school system is just kind of busted.
Like I feel like,
that's not weird, just talking about it.
It just doesn't make sense to me.
Like I'm just like, I spent so much,
and then I look back at my childhood,
like escaping from preschool,
and shit like I'm like,
I've been like, my mom did teach me from day one,
like if everyone's going this way, go that way.
You know, and that was like, just how I've grown up.
So I look at more
and more people are homeschooling now. Obviously, we're finding it difficult to even be able
to get our son into hybrid charter school options because there's wait lists. We're not
the only ones thinking this. So it's a real thing. And the good side of that is I think
there's going to be a lot more options available for people that are homeschooling. Because
when we were kids, the homeschool kids
were kind of the weirdos.
I don't think that's the case anymore.
I think homeschool kids are like,
oh, your parents are out of the box thinkers.
Cool.
Yeah, and there's a million and one different ways to do it.
I used to think that you stayed at home and your mom
that gave you books and acted like the teacher did
in the classroom.
But I had some clients years ago that homeschooled
and they totally educated me and they're like,
no, it's like you facilitate and you organize it
and you make it, you can make it look so many different ways.
And I said, well, what if your kid hates math?
Like, how do they gonna learn math if they hate it?
So, well, you know, our son hates math,
but he loves cars.
So we teach him about the ratios of the gears
and the engine and the pressure and this and that.
I'm like, you know, blight bulbs going off for me.
I'm like, holy cow, like, of course, like if you love cars,
you're gonna learn math that way way better than you would sitting down with somebody
trying to force something, you know, down your throat, which, you know, so,
I mean, I, my younger ones were probably gonna do the same thing.
That's why I say that.
Do you guys, so you're looking to hybrid systems?
And what do you guys do on those off days?
Do you take them out and try to, you know,
like do you pick a topic or do they lead it like, hey, they're into this. So let's go look at this
thing over here. Like how does that work? Yeah, so I mean, we're fortunate enough, you know, we
we live in Carmel, it's a beautiful area. My son's super into the water, super into the ocean. So,
you know, a lot of times like once a week we'll go down and like tide pool and like teach him about,
you know, animals in the ocean, teach him about we'll go down and like tide pool and like teach them about, you know, animals in the ocean teach them about sea life teach them about tide pools
And he's a super into that the kids probably gonna be a marine biologist like he's just so into it
So we also leverage where we live to try to like give him experiences that other kids might not have
You know my daughter's three so she's not really she's into anything right now
So you know my son also, you know, we have horses
So we just like teach him a lot about animals
and teach him a lot of that. And at five years old, it's just teaching him about life right now.
We still have a fair share of, yes, there's some really cool programs like ABC,
mouse and stuff like that that are interesting things where for 15, 20 minutes, yeah, he can go
on a tablet and learn some stuff that's a the more fundamental like basics. But we also, you know, we spend a lot of time up in Tahoe. So I mean, learns
a lot of different things up there. So the kid is just going to be very, very well versed
in different experiences. And, you know, we travel a lot. So it's like, you know, some
goals like we say, we have one to year, we want to do an international trip where we spend
three or four weeks and really like immerse them.
Like, you want to learn about the pyramids?
Let's actually go to Egypt.
Now, granted, I mean, that's not necessarily realistic for everybody, but, you know, if we
take one solid trip and we say this is going to be the one international trip, I mean,
that's not that economically out of reach if you really think about it.
Like, you're not going on multiple vacations.
Most people when they say,
okay, I'm gonna go on vacation for spring break,
go on vacation over summer and winter break.
Like, okay, well if we pick one good destination,
we actually immerse ourselves there
for like three weeks and let them learn.
So that's kind of a goal that we have right now.
How do you guys manage the tablet?
I always like talking to fathers
that get young kids right now and and and have been around now
obviously tech. How do you guys manage that right now? You know, I don't want to say we're we're
loose with it because we're not but we we do come from the school of thought that the more that you
fight against something the more they're going to really try to get it and want it. So I think the
tablet is something that it needs to constructively be put in place.
I think, and Peter Etia talked about this, like anything with screen time, it was a really
interesting study that he pulled. It was like, anything with screen time as long as you are doing it
with them, and you are lifting them up through the process, and it is a learning experience,
and it's a bonding experience, it's different than giving you to them to babysit.
Right. It's a tool rather than distraction.
So we really are careful about that. We don't just throw games willy-nilly.
The one time that we will let them play on their tablet is if we're on like a long flight.
And we try to preserve it. It's just so that if it's like white noise right there.
It's such a hack just by the way what you just said.
Oh my God, try flying with two little kids.
It's how we, it's one of, because I think we use it in a similar fashion,
it's a very powerful tool when you need it like that.
Because we don't abuse it,
and he doesn't get to just watch cartoons on it
whatever he wants, it's normally educational
or interacting with us, and it has,
we have small windows,
but then when we also get on a four and a half hour flight,
like we just did, not just recently,
and you know, a little bit of that time,
if he gets restless, we can put that in the now he's,'s now he's good and I think that when you use it judiciously
like that it has that powerful fact where I have my other friends their kids they can use it at
carp I mean whenever they want and they're on it all time and then they get over it on the playing
flight within a half hour hour because it's something that's you usual in their life so I think
that's a smart strategy. Any plans on another one?
No, my wife actually had a,
history wrecked me last year anyway,
because she's got some autoimmune issues.
Oh, okay.
She wouldn't care about me saying that.
She's public about it.
But it's, yeah, so that's definitely out of the equation for us.
But we've talked about, you know,
maybe in a few years, like we don't know,
like if we really do miss the baby stage,
consider adopting.
But I think, you know, we're good with two.
We got the boy, the girl, like, you know, we're,
yeah, and you just got out of the woods.
I mean, three years old, still hard,
but, you know, the first year and two was like,
it's nuts.
Yeah.
I got to go.
What's your favorite spot in Carmel?
Where do you like to eat and go down there?
We go down the woods all the time.
There's a place, a symbol place called the Village Corner.
You know, that place in Carmel.
I love that place because they will just modify anything
and they don't care.
So like I can like pick thing,
I can be that total pain in the ass and just be like,
can you give me that with that on it and that,
they're super cool.
So that place is great.
There was a great place called,
they got rid of their gluten-free pancakes now.
So like my wife with her autoimmune issues
can't have gluten, it really flares her up.
So there was a place called KADES place
that had amazing gluten-free pancakes,
but just in the last couple of months they stopped serving them.
Black.
Yeah.
Tuck House is really good.
Was it Pords in the Forest or Fords in Forest?
A couple I haven't had yet, okay.
Yeah, that one's really good.
Vesuvio is good, if you like pizza.
Yeah.
Yeah, this like, I mean, it's like a...
So good.
There's a grocery store in Monterey called El Royce. Yeah. Yeah, this like, I mean, it's like a so good. So good down there.
And then there's a grocery store in Monterey called El Royce.
Even the El Royce.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do that place is like, like their hot bar is unreal.
Yeah, yeah, that's awesome.
Well, this has been great, man.
I mean, I really appreciate you coming on the show
and opening up a great conversation.
I think we all have a lot in common.
And you definitely seem to be one of the good people
in the fitness space. It's not a lot, but I think you're seem to be one of the good people in the fitness space.
It's not a lot, but I think you're definitely one of them.
So, appreciate it.
I appreciate what you do, man.
Thank you.
Thanks for coming on, Joe.
Thank you.
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