Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 2257: Why Hitting Fitness Goals is a Bad Idea

Episode Date: January 25, 2024

The trap of arrival fallacy. (2:40) Four ways to set the RIGHT expectation instead of aiming to hit a goal. #1 - Focus on the process. (9:48) #2 - Be present (stop living in the future). (16:33) #3 - Focus on what makes people happy (purpose, connection, spiritual practice, wanting less, and health, not looks). (24:51) #4 - Practice gratitude. (28:17) Personal hacks that have been successful for the guys. (32:44) Related Links/Products Mentioned Visit Seed for an exclusive offer for Mind Pump listeners! **Promo code 25MINDPUMP at checkout for 25% off your first month’s supply of Seed’s DS-01® Daily Synbiotic** Special Launch: Mind Pump Fitness Coaching Course ** Promo code 200OFF at checkout for $200 off ** January Promotion: New Year’s Resolutions Special Offers!! New to Weightlifting Bundle | Body Transformation Bundle | New Year Extreme Intensity Bundle Body | Transformation Bundle 2.0  Mind Pump #1050: Mark Manson- The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*Ck WHAT THE LONGEST STUDY ON HUMAN HAPPINESS FOUND IS THE KEY TO A GOOD LIFE Mind Pump Podcast – YouTube Mind Pump Free Resources People Mentioned Mark Manson (@IAmMarkManson) Twitter Arthur Brooks (@arthurcbrooks) Instagram

If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go. Mind pump with your hosts, Sal DeStefano, Adam Schaefer, and Justin Andrews. You just found the most downloaded Fitness Health and Entertainment Podcast. This is Mind Pump. All right, today's episode, we talk about goals

and why hitting your goals can be detrimental. Believe it or not, you won't want to miss this episode. Now it's brought to you by a sponsor seed, the world's best probiotic hands down his seed. So if you want to reap the benefits of probiotics, better skin, better digestion, lowered inflammation, enhanced fat loss, better adapt a adaptation to workouts. No joke. Probiotics do this.

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only for people who have this course. If you're interested, go to mindpumpfitnesscoaching.com, use the code 200 off for that discount. We're also running a sale on some workout program bundles. We have the new to weightlifting bundle, the body transformation bundle, the new year extreme intensity bundle,

and the body transformation bundle 2.0. All of them 300 to $350 off. Go check them out. Go to mapsjanuary.com. All right, here comes the show. Setting goals and hitting goals. This seems to be part of the formula of success in fitness. But here's what a lot of people don't tell you.

Hitting your goals can be depressing. It's true, there's something called arrival fallacy. Maybe you've experienced it yourself. You dream about hitting a goal, you work hard towards that goal, you finally hit that goal, and then the come down. And it's quite hard. Today's episode, we're talking all about how to avoid that and how to enjoy the process. Do you guys ever experience this with clients? Oh yeah. Yeah. This was a common one. Yeah. I used to, you know, I didn't realize what it was at first, but I would see clients that would like more commonly you would see this with clients where they would sign up for like a race. So people are like, oh, you

know, I'm, I don't work out now at all or I'm not fit, but I'm going to sign up for this marathon. I want you to help, you know, train me on top of it. And they'd work hard and they'd be consistent and they'd be real motivated. Then they'd do marathon and then it was like it got to the point where I if somebody told me they were going to hire me to do a race and they weren't like this wasn't what they always did that I would talk them out of it because I was like no you are going to stop afterwards it was like clockwork that these people would would train for this marathon of this race or whatever get to that point and then lose all desire, motivation, enjoyment out of what they were doing, stop.

And totally stop. And then of course I've experienced it myself. Well yeah, and as they're going through it, a lot of it was like they were doing it in spite of what they enjoy. So it was like not, it definitely the process for them was all discipline. And it was just like, I'm gonna get there,

I'm gonna get there, I'm gonna get there. And then they get there. They don't wanna repeat a lot of the process that caught them there it was just like, I'm going to get there. I'm going to get there. I'm going to get there. And then they get there. Uh, they don't want to repeat a lot of the process that caught them there because that was like not enjoyable for them. And so it's like, where do I go from here? And so that was kind of a hard conversation to have afterwards. What do you think it is? You think it's the, the buildup, like they have built it up in their head to be something greater. Like, Oh, when I get there, all this is how it's, I'm going to, I'm going to feel like a different person. I'm going to have all these things., when I get there, all this is how it's, I'm going to, I'm going to feel like a different person. I'm going to have all these things.

And then you get there and then it's just like, Oh, it's not. Yeah. It's, it's, there's a term for it. I said it's a rival fallacy. Are they all this? Is that work? Like, so the rival fallacy is, is with, it could be for a lot of things. Yes.

Yeah. I mean, ever, ever had this, I mean, I remember, um, like if I just make this much money, I'll be happy. Or if I just get that car, I'll be happy. Or if I just, you know. Even, even if you ever had, ever, did you guys ever have like a crush on like a girl when you were younger and like you, like, you wanted hers for like the longest time.

And then like years later, maybe you guys got together with that. And then it just, just never let that be. Yeah, the personality sucks. Yeah, I don't know. You were just, you were so, you, you were so much like into getting to the place where that could be a possibility. And so you thought about you were so much like into getting to the place where

that could be a possibility. And so you thought about it for so long. And then when it finally arrives, it's just like, oh, it's not what I thought it would be. Yeah, they call it post-achievement depression or postpartum depression, in relation to achievement, arrival fallacy, like we just said. Remember Mark Manson, he was on the show. He's the author of the subtle art of not giving a F, right?

He wrote that book and he talked about how his dream had always been to be a bestselling author. And then when he finally accomplished it, he went through the hardest depression of his entire life and he talked about this as well. And he's like, and when you read about this, what it is, and this is why people get caught in a trap, right? Where they set a goal. This is the goal I'm going to hit. And then they hit the is. And this is why people get caught in a trap, right? Where they set a goal, this is the goal I'm going to hit. And then they hit the goal. And again, if you look at the data on like weight loss, for example,

a significant percentage of people, it's not a majority, but a significant percentage, something like 30% of people who set a weight loss goal actually hit it. It's a big number when you should, we consider how many millions of Americans try to lose weight. But then of that, whatever the number was, 25, 35%, almost all of them get the weight back. Almost every single person gains the weight back

within a year or two, and they experience this feeling. And when you read about it, psychologically, what happens is we paint this picture. It's this happiness myth where, oh my God, if I lost 30 pounds, I'm gonna feel like this and everything's gonna be amazing and life's gonna be so much better and so much, or if I just hit that milestone in money that I need to make,

or if I could just do that deadlift or whatever, everything's gonna be so amazing, but you're always let down. You're always let down because the things that really make you happy in life are not those. In fact, when we get, obviously you're always let down. You're always let down because there's the things that really make you and let happy in life are not those. Uh, in fact, when we get, you know, obviously we're going to talk about fitness. What you end up realizing is the, the 30 pound weight loss isn't what made, was going to make you happy.

It's all the stuff you do. If you do it right to lose the 30 pounds that makes you happy. Well, it's not exactly the same, but I know a lot of athletes that I've talked to me personally, even have gone through that sort of transition phase, or it's like you identify so much With this one track like I my identity is Me trying to get to the ultimate Championship game or like you know achieve this kind of success

In in elongate my career once my career is over or if it's cut short What do I do now? I have like this this period of depression it's like, I have to reinvent myself. I have to like, think about other things to get involved with, and to then identify in that direction. And it's like, I feel like the same thing kind of happens when a lot of the clients I've had that have achieved some of those like weight loss goals or some of those, maybe they competed on on stage or maybe they did some of these events and, and they sort of, well, that was like my entire focus and I identify as this person, but now what do I do? Do you think it's possible that we reach somebody who's in that and,

and convince them otherwise? Like, I don't know if it's like, I think back to, uh, and I think the thing that I can relate to the most with this was the financial one, right? Like I had built that up in my, since I was a kid, right? So that was like a, what was it like I thought about for a year or two? I thought about it for decades, like to, oh, when I get to this place, you know, financially, like I'm just going to be so happy or whatever, like that. Then you reach that and it's just like, oh, I'm actually unhappy right now. This is weird, right? But I don't think there's anything, I don't even know if me could go back in time

and talk to me and convince me otherwise. In fact, I think I remember people telling me when I was like, and it's like, in my attitude was like, yeah, well, I'll solve that problem. I'll get there. Just like people we tell them when they say it. So do you, is it possible? Like when you, when you become, because hitting big goals, whether it be a big lofty financial goal or a big lofty physical fitness goal,

those are big goals. They're hard to achieve. Right? I mean, there's more millionaires than there are people with six pack abs. Right? So it's no joke to try and do that. And in order to get to a place where you can even achieve that, uh, the level of mindset that you need to have, is it breakable?

Is it, is it potentially, can you, can you get to it? I think it is if it's communicated, right? Like, because you need goals. Uh, otherwise you don't know what you're aiming for. So I think someone listening in that case may be arguing and be like, will you talk about, I need to have a goal. This is what drives me. This is my, so it's not that you, that goals are bad.

It's idolizing them and falling in love with them. That's a problem. Yeah. I think the key to this conversation is not to, to deter somebody from having these, these lofty goals, but better yet help them set the expectation. Right? Like that's, that's where I think I failed was that when I got to that place, had somebody maybe communicated like, oh yeah, no, there's a lot of amazing things

that you're gonna have when you get to this level, it's gonna open all these great doors for you. One thing that will almost inevitably happen though is like your expectations will be off. Like your expectations of how you think you're going to feel won't be what you think they are. And this is the fallacy. Well, that'll bring us,

so that's going to kind of illustrate the first thing to focus on. So I'll ask you this, Adam, because you, you know, you just brought up how you had a financial goal. Looking back, you remember that hitting that goal wasn't what you thought it was, right? Right. But looking back at that whole era or time, I could probably guarantee that you have very fond memories of the way towards that goal, the process.

Yeah. Like if you look back, it wasn't hitting that goal where you look back and go, that was awesome. It was like, oh man, actually it was awesome. When I figured this out, I had to grind this, I had to develop this, I had to go through that challenge. It was all that stuff that you probably look back and. Oh, a hundred percent. And the thing, the thing that I probably value the most, and I've talked about this too, this is why

we've talked about this before with like, if you know, if everybody could buy a pill and then you just be this, the physique you wanted, we'd be miserable and unhappy because the part that the best part about it is the figuring out process, right? The process. And that same thing goes for the financial journey too. It was like, this is why I think we see those examples of people that have the windfall of money or inheritance, why they end up blowing or what that is, because there's behaviors that are built along the way that are probably the most valuable part of the, so the most valuable part

of achieving that level of money is also the part of blowing some of it, losing some of it, making some bad decisions along the way, oh, correcting, oh, creating better habits and having better financial hygiene. Like, so there's these things that that is the most valuable part, because that's the part that's now carried to this, this other, this next, you know, season of my life. I haven't made or repeat those mistakes. That's right.

And that's the, I think that's a main point for me. It's like, you got to go through those struggles, each part of that, each level of that journey, and really acknowledge a lot of these things that you've overcome and troubleshot, you know, passed. So, that way, too, like, this is, this is a level now that not, you're not just going to achieve it, but you're going to be able to maintain it and be able to then, you know, progress from there. Right. Yeah. The process of getting to a goal is a lot of dopamine, right?

And dopamine is a driver. It doesn't, it's not a achiever. It's not like, got there. It's a get there, get there, get there. So once you're there, you get like a dopamine withdrawal. Like what, you know, that's what they're saying is happening on a, you know, kind of neurological level. I had, I experienced this in a short period of time.

I've experienced this many times, but I remember one example is I, this was years ago when my wife and I would kind of first started dating. She was big into hiking. Now I thought I liked hiking because she asked me, do you like hiking? I said, yeah.

Now for me, hiking was like on a nice trail through the woods or whatever. But she did like hiking, like the kind where there's like, not really a trail. Oh yeah, where you're like, it's like people die, kind where there's like, get like a backpack. Oh yeah. Where you're like, it's like people die, right? It's like, this is really dangerous, you know, kind of stuff.

But because I just started dating her, I don't want to, you know, I want to kind of impress her or whatever. I said, yeah, I like hiking too. Let's do it. So we were in Kauai and there's a trail called the Kualaau trail, which I know you've done that too. Right. Yeah.

In fact, they tell you there, the native, the people who live there say, don't do the trail if you don't live here. Cause it can be pretty bad. Like you have to hike in, you camp out. It's gnarly. It's gnarly. But so we get there. And of course she's all like, well-versed in hiking.

I have no idea what I'm getting into. So I'm like, let's, let's do this trail. So anyway, we do this crazy trail and it was definitely treacherous, definitely out of my comfort zone at one point we're walking through water, holding our equipment up. And you know, the cliff is on the other side on some parts. And it was pretty, it was pretty gnarly for someone like me. But I remember we got just one part and it was this beautiful view.

It was this incredible view. Now the view was gorgeous, but had you flown me in on a helicopter and I landed and got out and looked at the view, not that big of a deal. And when I think back at that whole process, I don't think about the view. I think about getting there. That was the whole, uh, that was where all the value was. And the same is true for, for fitness. So hitting, having goals is great, but the key is to try to fall.

So don't fall in love with the goal. A goal is something is a target, but don't fall in love with the goal. Don't is something, is a target. But don't fall in love with the goal. Don't fantasize about the goal. Like everything's gonna be so amazing when I get there. Cause it's not, it's not, it's gonna totally, it's gonna be under what you believe it to be in terms of expectations. Really what you need to do is focus on falling in love

with the process. The day to day process. Like, man, I woke up today and I didn't wanna work out, but I did and now I did that workout and I didn't feel good, but then my shoulder felt better. It was good. Oh, I hit a PR tomorrow yesterday. And so today I'm going to do this.

And when you fall in love with the process, uh, what happens is you'll always follow the process. And then the goals are milestones along the way, like signs along the trail of a hiking trail. There is no end goal. There's just, here's mile one, here's mile two. But I'm going to keep going because I love following the process. Once you do that, then the goals hit themselves.

And you don't get that post-achievement depression because there is no achievement, right? It's all about the process. And that means you have to focus on it though. Now, how do you do that? That's the real question. And I think the key to that is attaching it to other things than just like the main goal, which main goal many times is, oh, I want to lose 30 pounds or oh, I want to look a certain way. But in order to fall in love with the process, I think

you have to find ways that you attach these small wins or small behavioral changes, how they impact your life in other ways. And maybe you didn't, like I talked recently on the podcast about how I was sharing with you guys, I had one of these moments again where I realized like, man, it's so crazy what a different husband and dad I am when I just get exercise and movement in the day. It's like, I didn't make any,

that exercise and movement that day that I was speaking of, I definitely didn't make any huge strides towards my getting jacked goal or losing body fat percentage goal or getting stronger goals, like barely anything, but just getting in there and moving and doing a few movements played such a huge role in like how I showed up as a dad and as a husband that, that afternoon or that evening at home. And so the way that I,

I focus on the process is when I have these little behavioral things like that that are leading towards this big goal, I look for other things that I can attach it to in life other than that that's attached to the goal. Like it's like, oh, that's why I do that. And if you can do that, you can focus, I feel like on the process. Yeah, each good decision you make has a compounding effect. And so you have to look at and see how that affects things further on. And me making a good choice nutritionally, it's going to give me a little bit more energy.

It's going to give me a little bit better sleep. I'm always constantly evaluating that. If I'm more productive because I'm more active, you know, I have more energy, like you just start attaching it to all these other traits that, um, you know, definitely you can see it if you're looking for it. Yeah. I mean, which is kind of the second part, which is to, to, to like really be present. Like if you think of a great artist, the, a great artist, uh, isn't, it doesn't fall

in love with the, the painting that they finished, the masterpiece. They don't look at it and go, wow, that's, it's the painting that they're in love with. They're in love with the creating. It's the happy trees. It's a musician, same thing. The musician loves creating, right? The creator, the person who's, you know,

the person who works out consistently, the goals are great and they reflect the hard work and the dedication, but they're so present in what they're doing that they just enjoy the process. Like I, look, I've worked out when I felt great, when I felt bad, when it was just relief stress, when I was in pain, when I felt, you know, when I was hitting PRs, whatever, the process itself, I enjoy so much.

I don't think I'll ever stop regardless of what, you know, lies ahead. I think it's going to do it because I enjoy the process and that's, there's this old, I don't know I'll ever stop regardless of what lies ahead. I think it's gonna do it because I enjoy the process. And there's this old, I don't know if it's Japanese, I wanna say Japanese practice, maybe Doug will know, where they do these really intricate designs in sand. And there's these huge sand gardens where they do these, they pass these rakes over, I think it is. I don't know if it's a Japanese dug, am I tripping?

Okay, they make these incredibly intricate designs. And then when they get to the very end, and it's literally a practice. And I don't, I think it's a, I want to say it's maybe tied to Buddhism, but they make these intricate designs. And when they get to the very end, they wipe it clean and start all over. They never leave it to look at it. It's a form of meditation. It's Tibet.

It's all about, and it really is an incredible practice of being present and falling in love with the process or the journey. And so when you're working out, if you're thinking about, I'm doing this so that I can, I'm doing this so that, and you're living in the future, I'm doing this so I can look like this, so I can feel like this, so I can lift this much weight, you're not living right now, You're living in the future.

Think about your job, right? Think about your job. If your job is just so I can get to the end of the day so I can go home. So I can save them enough money to retire. Eventually you get to retirement and then you'll get that post achievement depression, which is real, by the way, people achieve this, get this in retirement. But imagine if you working what you did, you just learned to enjoy.

You just love that process. Well, you'll never want to stop, even if you had enough money to retire. And that requires you being present in the moment. I've caught myself doing this many times where I get to a certain point and they look back and they go, man, I totally, like, I should have been more present.

Like I missed that whole period, which was actually kind of awesome now that I think about it. But I'm so focused on where I am now, that, you know, and luckily, you know, just more personal, what we do here, you know, God, when we started, we were in Doug's living room. Now, thankfully, I think we're all old enough at that time,

mature enough to remind ourselves to be present. But even then, I look back and I go, man, that was a good time. We had no money, we weren't making any money, I should say, the business was whatever, but it was a great time. It's hard when you're driven in, in it's, you know, you get caught up future tripping as I've heard it expressed. But, um, yeah, when you're, when you're able to, to slow down, really, like pay

attention and be present with what's in front of you, I, I feel like there's a study out there in terms of like the happiest people are the ones that are most present, like on a day to day basis. And you see this also as an example of like flow state with athletes or flow state, uh, in, you know, in general, uh, once you achieve that flow, so you can't achieve flow state if you're not like hyper present in that moment. Yeah. What, what are, okay.

So in taking that in, uh, relation to exercise and training and going to the gym, what does that look like? Or what does it not look like? So does that mean like when I go to the gym, if my goal is being ultimately present in the moment and not fixated on my future goal or distracted about the fight I just had with my wife or thinking about, oh my God, this bill I got to pay. So what does that look like putting that into practice? Here's what it doesn't look like.

It doesn't look like you're off in your mind somewhere else, just trying to get through it. Okay. Cause you'll see this with people working out or they're just like, ah, I gotta get through it. One of the reasons why I like strength training so much is it's the, one of the harder forms of exercise to not be present. Like you can, you can not be present on a treadmill or a bike.

You could do it with weights too. You just do circuits over and over again and your form is out the window type of deal. But if you're to be present, you're in the exercise, in the movement, feeling the muscle, feeling what's going on, you are there. Heavy weights helps with this because if you're not present,

you'll hurt yourself or you'll drop the weight. It's hard to think about taxes when you're bench-president. You're there, right? So that is being present. Another thing is, and smartphones have really messed up the how present people can be in their workouts. Cause in between sets, they're on their phones

and they're not in their bodies at that moment. You know, during the set they are, but then they're out of it. So I, you know, one thing- I'm guilty of that. Totally. That's something that I have to be mindful of is that because you can, right?

We can easily get caught up in like scrolling or emailing or doing something else and I know the value of being hyper present when I when I work out. I was watching. I've talked about I talked to us a long time ago, but I was watching pumping iron is a documentary. In the 70s Arnold Schwarzenegger. How many times do you think you've at least 100. And each time I watch it, I notice new little details. And one thing that I noticed was that, uh, cause a lot of scenes, obviously, they're working out, talking, whatever. And I noticed like, there's no music in the background of the gym.

Now music wasn't introduced until a little later, but the original gym's like, you went in, nobody was playing music. Nobody had headphones on because Walkman were not really a thing then, or if they were, nobody really used them in the gyms. It was like clanging weights, grunting, and people, like they were all like there. One more. Yeah. They were all very present.

You got it. So I practiced some of this because music can do that too, but music can also make you present. So I've done this now where I, my phone, I make a rule. I won't take it out of my pocket. It's in my pocket. And I've done it also where I don't listen to music. So I'm't take it out of my pocket. It's in my pocket and I've done it also where I don't listen to music. So I'm just there, just with my body.

And it does change it. The other thing too is I used to do this with clients is I would have them, when they would write like sets and raps on what they were doing, is they told them to bring it, I'm right on paper instead of the phone, so they weren't so distracted. But it's literally being in your body, feeling what you're feeling and being very present.

Um, yoga, traditional yoga can do this very well. And they teach you this on how to do that. And, um, it forces you to kind of be there with yourself, but, uh, that's what it looks like. Same thing with food. Like if you're eating a meal that you're like, I have to eat this so that I could lose weight, you're probably like trying to do like, to like, just like distract yourself or not think about it. But what you can actually do is you can actually

build good relationship with it by savoring it, focusing on it, what am I eating, what this is doing for me, and oh, I feel good. And then you start to develop a good relationship where you actually start to want to eat those things and you actually start to enjoy eating healthy food. But that's what being present, right? I'm not on my phone, not watching something,

not reading something I'm here right now during the process. And that is a great way to prevent that whole like, otherwise, what happens is all you're thinking about is where you're going. Like, oh, I'm doing this long walk, but I'm just thinking about the fact that I'm going to get to that place rather than the walk itself. I also like the advice that we give about treating workout as like a practice. And I think that coming in with that mindset, because I think so many people have this mindset of I have to come in and crush it, like I have to break this major sweat, or I got to be almost ready to vomit or it's not a good workout versus going in

and saying, Hey, I'm going to go in and practice these movements. And then almost like allowing the workout to come to you. Right. I did my lap, my, I trained yesterday and it was like that. Like I was just not in the mood. I was watching football and stuff like that. So I'm like, you know what? I'm just gonna, there's a couple of movements

I'm gonna do in the garage. I'm just gonna practice the movement. And I was, Katrina was working out. So I'm like, I'm just gonna use her weight. I'm just gonna move the bar and stuff like that. But after a few rounds of doing that, like then I started to feel really good. And then I started to stack on the weight.

And it's like, I didn't go in telling myself I had to do that. I went in and saying, I'm just going to practice these movements, allow the workout to come to me. And it's like, oh, now that I'm in this groove, I'm feeling good. Now I'll start to, and then it'll be in this great workout. It's awesome. So much stress and relief you can have with that mindset going in. Cause I've had so many workouts like that, that you're just like,

not really feeling it or whatever, but you just start moving and just let the workout kind of, sometimes it just is like, wow, you have all this energy and then you PR. And you're like, wow, I didn't expect that. Oh yeah. Which is the best. Yeah, okay, so the next one is, this is what the data shows.

By the way, there's a lot of data on this now. In fact, Harvard had a 75 year long study that was done on what makes people actually happy. Like what really moves the needle. So my very good friend, Arthur Brooks, he's a professor at Harvard and he's an expert, he's one of the foremost experts on happiness. I remember he explained this to me, um, in regards to beauty, how people chase beauty thinking, you know, we'll talk here in terms of aesthetics, I get the

body I want. People think that that's going to make them so happy. And he goes, Sally goes, let's say you're a six on a scale of one to 10 in terms of beauty. And you spend all your money, time and energy going from a six to a nine. So now you're a nine on a scale of one to 10. He goes, your happiness on the happiness meter will barely move. Because it barely moves.

It almost doesn't register how non-important it is. And a lot of people don't know this. They think what'll make them happy is money and fame and beauty. But the reality, the data is very clear on this, very clear. It's not, good health makes you happy. The looks don't. So the reason why fit people tend to be happy isn't because they look so good. It's because they're healthy and fit. So it's the causations the other way around. It's the fact that they're healthy and fit.

Spiritual practices give people a lot of happiness. Connection with other people make people very happy. Having a sense of purpose will make you happy. Arthur Brooks said that he goes, if you have a job where you're doing the job and you feel a deep sense of purpose, like I'm doing this and what I'm doing is good and what I'm doing matters and it's important to me,

then it'll bring you happiness. If what you're doing doesn't do that, and even if you make $10 million, he says, don't place your eggs in that basket because it's not gonna bring you that kind of happiness. I said connection early, that's a big one. People, the people around you, when you look at the happiest people in terms of joy and not suffering from depression, anxiety,

they almost all have these nice social networks and closeness with people. Wasn't that one of the things that they connected the blue zones to, was that almost all the blue zones have some sort of like connection, community like that? Yep. There's also Arthur Brooks, I know how he says that he says that he's got a really great way of saying this, but he said, I don't know exactly what he says, but it's not about getting more. Like in terms of like material things, it's about learning to want less. Yeah. Like that's a big one.

And when I remember the first time I heard that I couldn't help but think of my parents and my grandparents because they grew up so poor. And my dad telling me how he was confused, how unhappy people were, no, he wasn't confused. He said, it's funny how unhappy people are today. He goes, when I was a kid, he goes, I didn't have toys. I barely had clothes, I couldn't afford anything. But we played together all the time

and the families were always together. He goes, we didn't have our own bedrooms. He goes, I shared a bed with my, you know, five siblings. He goes, and now we got these big houses because everybody's alone in their own rooms and everybody's got their video games or whatever. And people are unhappy. He goes, uh, you know, I didn't know what I was missing, but I don't think I was missing much. You know, it's just wanting less. That's a big one.

Okay. Isn't there, I don't know if I've heard Arthur Brooks talk about, but isn't there something also connected to just giving, which is kind of tied to that. Like when you get into a place of wanting less or needing less, and then you actually are in a position where you can give to others, like the, how much more rewarding that is than actually achieving or getting yourself. Oh, it's, it's incredible. Which brings us to the last one, which is to practice gratitude.

So what does that look like with fitness? Well, um, you know, instead of thinking that, okay, uh, in 12 weeks, I'm going to be 15 pounds lighter. Let's say or whatever you're thinking to yourself like, man, I'm, I was able to work out today. And how grateful I am that I'm in here in this gym or I'm outside. I'm doing this exercise or I'm moving or wow, um, my knee pain is a little bit better or, you know, for three days now, I haven't eaten any dessert, you know,

and I'm really grateful. And in fact, I feel good. I'm grateful for how I feel or, you know, I've been feeling bad, but I'm grateful that I'm here type of deal that what was that you, you brought up a, yeah, that the anxiety and, and, and gratitude occupied the same part of the brain, the same part of the brain. So it's impossible to be focused on both of them simultaneously. Therefore, if you are in a place where you are anxious a lot or you have a

lot of anxiety, one of the most powerful things that you can do is simply just do a gratitude practice because just by you shifting over there, well, at least temporarily eliminate that anxiety because they can't both occupy the brain at the same time. And so such a powerful, which is why too. I think that, you know, almost every self-help book or every, you know, you know, billionaire's morning routine, but they all have a practice of gratitude in there for that simple reason that I think that everybody has some sort of level of anxiousness or anxiety that if they don't have it all the time then that definitely crosses their life sometimes and the power of

learning to have a gratitude practice is a simple way to shift you out of that. You know, in the moment and it's exponential. Yes. The bigger you grow and the more responsibilities you have and so to implement a good gratitude practice, it helps to kind of neutralize that quite a bit. Yeah, by the way, it's called a practice. I remember, who told me this? It was a friend of mine and they said, it's a practice because you have to practice,

it doesn't come naturally. That's, you know, blew me away. And basically our brains, I mean, we're the result of evolution. And, you know, we survived if we focused on the negative, right? If we focused on what was scary, what we, oh, we're, don't go over there, watch out over there. Did you hear what happened to Bob yesterday?

Got eaten by a lion or whatever. Our brains are wired to do that because it keeps us alive and that passes our genes on. Gratitude is not necessarily a natural thing. You have to practice it and develop it as a skill. So when people say practice gratitude, I know how I used to feel. I used to feel like it was almost condescending.

Where like people were like, well, practice gratitude. Well, yeah, I know I'm lucky for this. And I know there's people in other side of the world that can't do this. And yeah, I know I need to lose weight, but at least I have mobility in my lower body and I can move or whatever. But that doesn't make me feel any better type of. It was like, no, no, that's not what it means.

What it means is you have to literally sit down and consciously practice gratitude. And then what happens is it, over time, it becomes more of a habit. And then you start to notice things automatically that you're grateful for. So when you're grateful, you're in your present. When you're grateful, you're present.

Yeah, I've personally had more success with being more specific to the day, right? So like it's it reminds me of when I used to like do that exercise where I'd walk over to a trainer and tell them what a good job that they're doing that. I could be vague and say, Oh, Justin, you're such a great trainer. I just want to let you know that. Or I could say, Hey, I saw how you just did this with ex-client. I just want to tell you that I'm super appreciative of that. Or I could say, Hey, I saw how you just did this with ex-client. And I just want to tell you that I'm super appreciative of that. Or like that's super unique and special. Like, so pointy.

So the same thing I do on myself, right? So if I'm trying to practice gratitude, I try and think of the things that I'm grateful for today or that day or yesterday, right? So if you're practicing in the morning, I'm probably thinking about my day. Yesterday, if it's in the evening, I'm thinking about what happened in my day. And I'm trying to think of these, these small things in the day that you take for granted that, you know, it's like, you know what? It's kind of crazy when you think about it.

Like I've had, I haven't had an issue with a vehicle getting to and from work in so long. And like, I know so many people that that's a major thing. Like I'm so grateful and blessed that I'm in a position that I have this vehicle that gets me to, like having very specific things that you can point out in the day I have found that has been more same here and same here as if I've lately been trying to do it twice a day and that's a big part of it is where I'll think about what I'm grateful for and that happened that day because it's an easier practice that way than to be more general, like you said. You know, this, this really came from a coach or a trainer that was, that had posted this. I think it was a coach or trainer. Was it?

Was that, that's what that was? I believe so. And so I don't want to share some things too that I think that I have found was successful for me, which was, and I think Arthur Brooks has talked about this, like one of the, one of the best things that you can do when you like reach a goal or master something or get really good at something is to turn around and then teach it.

And so one of the most rewarding things and one of the things that keeps me going as far as in my fitness goals is a lot of what I decide, oh, I'm gonna shift the way I train or I'm gonna try a different way of eating or I'm going to try a different way of eating or I'm going to focus now on getting mobile here or I'm going to get really good at this, this snatch or an exercise I've never done before.

A lot of that motivation is the teaching part is knowing that going through the process of not knowing how to do it or not liking it or not wanting to do it or have never done it before, the going through the learning process of that now gives me this new perspective on how to coach and teach that to others. That's one of the most rewarding

and it's one of the easiest. You also get to relive the joy by reliving it with someone else. Now gets to also learn and go through that process. It's like you get to do it again. And so that's been a massive hack for how do I get up every morning and still get after it or want to work out when I've achieved these certain things in my

fitness journey that it's like, okay, what do I also, I got to prove and I'm already fitter than the average person. So what do I do to keep me going? Well, a lot of that motivation for me now is that we're in a position of teaching and then we can teach others and passing that knowledge on and giving that and sharing that part of what keeps me challenging myself is that exact thing is that okay, you know, wow, I never got really proficient at the Turkish get up, let me get really good at this. And then while I'm doing it, I'm learning like, Oh, wow, this is a thing that

really helps. I should teach this and help with that. And so those things have helped me in my journey. I think it's, I think at the end of the day, don't think of a goal as a destination, but rather as a milestone. That is that you're going to run into along this journey that's never going to end. So you have a goal, but it's not, that's where I'm at. This is it. This is, this is, I'm done. It's literally that is going to be like a, like a sign, like a road sign. Oh, I is, I'm done. It's literally, that is going to be like a sign, like a road sign. Oh, I finally, I'm at this milestone. Now let's continue on until we get to the next one. And by the way, they never end.

The journey never ends. And when you fall in love with that, uh, then fitness and looking good is a by product. Look, if you love the show, head over to mind pump free.com and check out all of our free fitness guides. We have a lot. They're all free. You can also find all of us on Instagram.

Justin is at mind Pump, Justin. I'm at Mind Pump to Stefano and Adam is at Mind Pump Adam. Thank you for listening to Mind Pump. If your goal is to build and shape your body, dramatically improve your health and energy and maximize your overall performance, check out our discounted RGB Superbundle at mindpumpmedia.com.

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