Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 2313: The Ideal Number of Sets per Muscle Group, the Truth About Cheat Days, the Downside of Moving More So You Can Eat More & More

Episode Date: April 12, 2024

In this episode of Quah (Q & A), Sal, Adam & Justin answer four Pump Head questions drawn from last Sunday’s Quah post on the @mindpumpmedia Instagram page.  Mind Pump Fit Tip: If you're going to... talk good to anybody, talk good to yourself. (1:40) Reacting to the latest TikTok trend, Trad Wives. (16:00) Trauma lust. (25:04) The evolutionary theory behind strongmen dating tiny women. (33:17) Growth spurts. (35:22) The growth mindset is attached to being a successful personal trainer. (38:54) When people go viral due to hate. (40:52) Shout out to Mind Pump’s FREE Peptide Guide. (51:33) #Quah question #1 - How much volume is considered “too much?” How many sets per muscle group should we aim for? 6? 8? 12? (52:41) #Quah question #2 - Do you build cheat days into your nutrition plan? Especially around Birthdays and holidays? (58:51) #Quah question #3 - Can you discuss the differences between processed “unhealthy” foods vs non-processed “unhealthy” foods? I notice there is a massive difference in how I feel having a homemade dessert vs prepackaged and processed. (1:02:55) #Quah question #4 - Is it better to move more and eat more or to move less and eat less? (1:06:24) Related Links/Products Mentioned Exclusively for Mind Pump Listeners, NCI has put together the ultimate starter kit full of resources that will help you do everything from creating an irresistible offer to properly intake and onboarding a new client.   Visit Butcher Box for this month’s exclusive Mind Pump offer!  ** New users will get $20 off your first order ** Tiktok's 'Trad Wife' Influencers Think The Kitchen Is Pretty Neat 3 Day Mind Pump Personal Trainer Webinar Hippie rapper Shanin Blake Mind Pump #2217: Dr. Jordan B. Peterson Peptide Therapy - Guide to Unlocking Your Body's Potential Visit Seed for an exclusive offer for Mind Pump listeners! **Promo code 25MINDPUMP at checkout for 25% off your first month’s supply of Seed’s DS-01® Daily Synbiotic** Why Your Tempo Matters When You Workout! – Mind Pump TV Should I Do a Cheat Day While I'm Training? - Mind Pump Blog Mind Pump #1037: How Ultra-Processed Foods Are Making You Fat, Sick, & Weak Mind Pump Podcast – YouTube Mind Pump Free Resources People Mentioned shanin blake (@shaninblake) Instagram   Jordan B. Peterson (@JordanBPeterson) X  

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go. Mind pump with your hosts Sal DeStefano, Adam Schaefer and Justin Andrews. You just found the most downloaded fitness health and entertainment podcast. This is mind pump. All right in today's episode We answered listeners questions after a 52 minute intro portion. Now the intro portions We're talking about current events, our lives, family stuff. This is where we have fun loose conversation. After that is when we got to the questions. By the way, you could check the show notes for timestamps if you want to skip around your favorite part.
Starting point is 00:00:36 And if you also want to ask us a question that we can choose from, go to Instagram at Mindpump Media. Now this episode is brought to you by some sponsors. The first one is NCI. This is a certification course for coaches and trainers. Teaches them how to build a better business and how to be more successful with their clients. And if you go to ncimindpump.com, you'll get a coaches toolkit for free.
Starting point is 00:00:59 Teaches you how to get more leads, how to turn those leads into paying clients, how to onboard those clients, and how to get basically better results. So it's ncimindpump.com totally free coaches toolkit. This episode is also brought to you by ButcherBox. They deliver grass-fed meat, heritage pork, and wild caught fish to your door with really good prices. Go check them out. Get $20 off your first order. Go to butcherbox.com forward slash mind pump.
Starting point is 00:01:26 We also have a sale this month on some programs. Maps Anywhere and Maps Hit are both 50% off. If you're interested, go to MapsFitnessProducts.com and then use the code April 50 for the discount. All right, here comes the show. I don't think I need to make the point that how you talk to people can affect them. What the things you say to people can affect their moods. What you say to the people around you can make them view you differently or the world differently, can change people's outlook. Well, check this out.
Starting point is 00:01:55 That's true for how you talk to yourself. Studies on self-talk show that changing how you talk to yourself can have pretty profound effects on how good you feel, how anxious you are, how depressed you are, and whether or not you procrastinate or get things done. Now it is challenging to change, but becoming aware of self-talk is the first step. So if you're going to talk good to anybody, talk good to yourself. Yeah, this one's an interesting one because a lot of people are not even aware of the way that they talk to themselves oh, yeah, what they say to themselves about themselves and
Starting point is 00:02:30 Once you start to become aware you go. Oh, wow. I'm not gonna be like a therapy session for me. I'm not You have bad self-talk or what? Yeah, you've admitted that right you've admitted that you used to beat yourself up type of deal. And that was kind of like your, that was what motivated you. It was my fuel, yeah. Right. And you try to kind of reframe it, repurpose it. And like, I, you know, I, it's a lot of like successful people
Starting point is 00:02:57 you've met, especially like athletes and I don't know, maybe like actors or something. But they tend to remember the haters. And they remember everybody that like doubted them and it's like, and they just put all this stuff like on their back to kind of carry them to pursue being excellent and being the best of their craft and all that kind of stuff. But it just really didn't serve me after, you know, athletics.
Starting point is 00:03:22 Like I did, I could say it kind of helped in terms of like just my, you know, athletics. Like I did, I could say it kind of helped in terms of like just my, you know, toughness and my drive, but like I could have done that completely with a more positive outlook and not had all the gut problems and you know, therapy, crap idea, you know, as a result. So. Well yeah, cause then you're living with an asshole that you can't get away from.
Starting point is 00:03:41 Yeah. Literally. And you're gonna make mistakes. Were you ever like that? Did you, how were you? Like have you ever had to monitor away from, literally. And you're gonna make mistakes. Were you ever like that? Did you, how were you? Like have you ever had to monitor, oh interesting. Yeah, yeah, my self-talk would be either hyper-negative or avoidant,
Starting point is 00:03:55 so then I would go in the opposite direction. Like, oh you don't need that, you don't wanna do that, you wanna do this over here type of deal. But you have to become aware of it, because it's so automatic. And then when you become aware, by the way I know an easy trick to become aware, when you become aware of it, because it's so automatic. And then when you become aware, by the way, I know an easy trick to become aware. When you catch yourself doing it,
Starting point is 00:04:09 instead of saying I, because a lot of times what you'll hear, people will say to themselves, oh, I'm so stupid, or I'm an idiot, or whatever. Change I to your name, put it in the third person, and then immediately you're like, someone said, I'm an idiot, but Sal's an idiot.
Starting point is 00:04:23 No, okay, maybe not or whatever. So you start to become more aware of that self-talk. But it's crazy because we're totally aware and can acknowledge how negative that would be for someone else. If you and I were hanging out and I was just talking shit to you all the time about every little mistake you made,
Starting point is 00:04:42 and you're like, dude, don't do that, that sucks. It feels like shit. I don't wanna hang out with you, I don't wanna talk with you. I'd be like, I would understand. But yet we do that to ourselves so constantly. Not to mention the first step of anything coming true is first the belief of it. So if you are going to say to yourself that I'm an idiot
Starting point is 00:05:01 or say these negative things. It means you believe it. Yeah, it means you believe it and it's more likely to become true. Luckily, I think, and I don't know where it came from because I shouldn't have any sort of, I shouldn't have the confidence I had,
Starting point is 00:05:17 but I think I understood that at a pretty young age. Like I knew that, like I had to believe it. If I didn't believe it, nobody else was going to. So I had to believe that I could do it, anything was possible. Now did you practice it? Did you write it out or did you? I didn't, but what I do know,
Starting point is 00:05:34 the part that I can recall as far as the journey of the transition of that, a lot of that is accepting your faults, accepting your shortcomings, accepting that you, and so I think I came to that really quick and early. Like really quick and early I realized like, you know, I was the the crooked teeth, the skinny kid, the not coming for money, the like... So I had a lot of this stuff already kind of working against me like really early and it was just like, it is what it
Starting point is 00:06:00 is. You know what I'm saying? Like, and I could either one, I could sit and cry about it and be angry about it and bitter about it, or I could opt to change this. And so I was on a mission really early to just change that. And a lot of that came from my first believing that I could, you know? Yeah, I was thinking about like, I mean, you're describing that. Well, I think for me, it was like I assumed everybody thought the worst. I didn't think the worst of myself. Like that was the weird part.
Starting point is 00:06:26 It was like, I had a lot of confidence in my ability and what I could personally do, or like my faults I'd recognize. But I would always assume like for some reason that everybody thought the worst in terms of like me being smart or me being capable or athletic or whatever it was. I was like, for some reason I just put myself in this spot
Starting point is 00:06:50 to work my way out of always. Yeah, I think the challenge with this is for some people it's so automatic. I don't think they're fully aware of how they talk to themselves. And then the other challenge is, I mean it'll motivate you, it just sucks. It just doesn't feel good.
Starting point is 00:07:10 So you're making progress but you can't feel a revel in the progress. And then when you fail, it's the difference between, ah, I dropped the ball. Like you're playing a game, they pass you the ball, you drop it, I drop the ball, true. That's different than I'm an idiot. Or I'm stupid.
Starting point is 00:07:26 Or I'm a loser. It's okay to recognize your shortcomings, recognize your fuck ups. It's another thing to identify as. Yeah, and say I'm a bad person. I always do this. Right, to say I in front of those things, you are identifying as that thing
Starting point is 00:07:41 and that's where you mess up. What you can do is say things like man I could have been I could have done that better right there. Yes is saying yeah, we're saying I'm a loser I'm always late. I don't get these things I don't like doing that like once you put that in front of it you now I it becomes a part of your identity Yes, and you are controlling that and right very dangerous. Do you believe what you say? It's so weird because I was having this conversation We've talked about this on show before about who is that? I remember who I was talking to but there's a very dangerous thing to do. And you do believe what you say. It's so weird because I was having this conversation, we've talked about this on the show before,
Starting point is 00:08:05 but who is it? I remember who I was talking to, but there's a greater, a significantly higher percentage of people with depression who also have autoimmune issues. And they're finding that the depression, because you could say, okay, well, if you have an autoimmune issue,
Starting point is 00:08:23 you're more likely to be depressed. There's actually research that shows that depression leads to some of these autoimmune issues. If you're hating yourself constantly, your body believes your thoughts. Your body believes your thoughts. Why wouldn't your immune system identify the thoughts and potentially attack the very thing
Starting point is 00:08:41 that you're hating the most? Of course. And now to make this a fitness thing here, it's like having a client that's like, ah, I ate that dessert and I was off my plan versus I'm such an idiot, I'm such a loser, I can never succeed. Never do this consistently.
Starting point is 00:09:01 So different. When I would have clients that would be objective, but they weren't like, I'm a loser, their chance of success was way higher than the clients. I mean, we all worked with those clients where they beat themselves up so bad about a mistake, a step back, which everybody's gonna have. They beat themselves up so bad, I knew,
Starting point is 00:09:20 okay, if I don't help reframe this or help this person move out of this the way that they're feeling about themselves, we are not gonna be able to move forward. This is not gonna be something that they're gonna be able to sustain because you're gonna make mistakes. Nobody's perfect.
Starting point is 00:09:33 I mean, I've never met a successful person in life that didn't believe that they were destined to be successful or they thought they could be successful. I've never met somebody who was just like, yeah, I just didn't think I could be successful. It's just weird one day. It just happened. It just happened.
Starting point is 00:09:47 No, it's like you talk to someone who is very successful in life, and you ask them, did you believe when you were younger if you were going to be a 100-crosser? It's very deliberate. Across the board. They all believed it first. I don't think it's possible for it to happen
Starting point is 00:10:03 until you first believe it. You have to first believe it, and then the work happens, right? Then the consistency, then the failures, getting back up again and all that stuff. That's all part of the process. A lot of this starts in childhood, and this is by this old culture,
Starting point is 00:10:16 I think a lot of us were raised this way, and past generations were. You're a bad kid, you're a good kid. If you do this, you're good. If you do this, I like it, if you don't. You just get ping-ponged all the time. Yeah, and kids will naturally go there and if you reinforce it, they start to believe it.
Starting point is 00:10:30 So I see this when my little one's like, my three-year-old, he'll do a three-year-old thing, right? He'll throw something he's not supposed to, he'll knock something over or whatever because three-year-olds are impulsive and he's energetic, he's a little boy or whatever. And so I noticed that he'll start to feel bad about it, which then makes him embarrassed,
Starting point is 00:10:48 which then brings out the tantrum or whatever. So when he does something like that, I'll go up, and you can tell he runs away because he's like, and I'll go up to him like, you're not a bad kid, I love you, I still love you, I like you, even when you do stuff like that. It brings the intensity way down. And then we can talk about what happened.
Starting point is 00:11:03 All right, you threw your sister's air pods against the wall, you know? That kind of made her upset. If you want to throw things, tell me. I'll find something soft for you to throw. Try not to do that stuff. See if you can identify when you're gonna do it or whatever.
Starting point is 00:11:17 Otherwise, he starts to kind of beat himself up. He did this the other day where he impulsively throws things. It's like a thing for him. He threw, I don't know what he threw, he threw something hard, it was like a Lego or something, like one of those big blocks, at his cousin's head, right? So bang, hits his head. So he's all upset about it, right?
Starting point is 00:11:35 So then what he did was he got a toy, he went up to his cousin and he hit himself in the head to show him, so he's feeling, and that shows me, oh man, he feels like he's a bad kid. They asked to show his cousin that. So like, no buddy listen you're not a bad kid you just threw something without thinking about it you know, you know that type of deal. But yeah it starts as a child because that's where you develop this inner voice and then that inner voice doesn't want, so you have to consciously change it because it's so automatic. It's like a recruitment pattern exercise.
Starting point is 00:12:05 It's so automatic that it runs in the background. You don't even realize it's running. And when you start to identify, you're like, oh shit, I said that about? You just start pumping yourself up. Yeah, I mean. I mean, that's part of it. It's like, yeah, you gotta like start viewing yourself
Starting point is 00:12:18 in a different light and start really, you know, having that belief system. I think honestly. That's hard to do, dude. Coming from somebody like me, dude, I'm like, you're awesome today, bro. No think it's hard to do, dude. I'm coming from something like me, dude. I'm like, you're awesome today, bro. No, no, I'm not gonna fucking say that. Stupid. I never did that.
Starting point is 00:12:32 You know, I think that's not even real, though, right? Yeah, I think that's so cheesy. I think it's the I know there's people that believe in the affirmations in the mirror every morning and saying some shit like, whatever, do you boo, whatever you need to do. If you don't really believe it, it doesn't work. That's right, to me, the most important part
Starting point is 00:12:50 of all of it is believing. Maybe somebody needs to express it, say it, write it down before they actually will. So my wife did this thing where she wrote mantras about things she actually believes to be true about herself that are good. She saved it. Whenever she gets in that negative,
Starting point is 00:13:04 she starts to have that negative talk, she pulls up the mantra, and these are things she actually believes about herself that are good. She saved it. Whenever she gets in that negative, she starts to have a negative talk, she pulls up the mantra, and these are things she actually believes about herself. She'll read it, and it changes everything. My brother-in-law, so I was with him, and I won't share too much, because obviously he's shared it with something that he's like, I haven't shared this with anybody,
Starting point is 00:13:18 so I don't want to sell him out completely, right? Tell you which one it is. But I thought it was really cool, so I want wanna share. I hope he's okay with it. So he had done this thing, he's gonna be turning 50. And so he sat down and wrote out all these things, like who he is as a man, and who, as a husband, as a leader, what he's worth, this whole thing. And he wrote it out, like, I am this, I am that,
Starting point is 00:13:44 I am this, I am all these things. And he actually wrote it in a way, it almost reads kind of like a prayer a little bit and he reads it every single morning. And then connected that, he was going through his phone, I mean, he's put a lot of work in this, right? Connected to that are all these practices and behaviors that lead to him being this man.
Starting point is 00:14:01 And he holds himself accountable to checking off this. Wow, that's great. Yes, to checking those off in the year. And when he's 50, he says, I want to be able to read this and feel like, yes, I'm 100% that. Yes, I am 100% that. And here's the actions I took to be that. That's so great. I know, I think it's really cool.
Starting point is 00:14:19 I thought it was really cool. Like one of the things that he's doing right now is like he's wanting to give back some of his time. Like he wants to be a leader in his community and stuff like that. And so he's going through their church and he's actually, basically, they're not like fully adopting a kid,
Starting point is 00:14:36 but you basically become like their mentor. And so you can sign up. And so what he's done is he's got this 13 year old boy who's been in the foster program and will probably be in the foster program his whole life and he takes him to do all these activities and so it's like he has so many hours a week. It's like a big brother program. Yes like a big big brother program. Yeah I was asking him all about it. I was super intrigued by it
Starting point is 00:14:59 and what he's learned. It sounds like something you'd want to do. Yeah it was really cool. I thought it was I thought it was really interesting what he's doing. I did think it was cool, really interesting too, that they told him that they encouraged him not to do things that cost money and to do things that both a 50-year-old and that a 13-year-old want to do. Makes you be a little bit more creative.
Starting point is 00:15:19 Like something that you would both enjoy doing. Yeah, so they've done some stuff like hiking and mountain climbing and some like physical outdoors activities and things like that. But he's like, you know, like one time I wanted him to lead it and he's like, oh yeah, let's go to the jumping trampoline thing or like that. And he's like, do you see any 50 year olds doing that?
Starting point is 00:15:36 I told you I tried to get out of trampoline the other day. Oh no. You just leap. No, I didn't do that. Stop. Don't lie bro. I'm going to make you get all in there. You don't see him flapping his hands. I don't think I can fly. Hey, so listen, uh, social media is pretty funny, right?
Starting point is 00:16:03 There's these, there's these trends that are going around right now. And I'll talk about, there's two of them that are interesting. One of them is this, apparently it's a TikTok phenomenon, but now it's going to all the other platforms. It's called Trad Wives. Trad is short for traditional wives. I don't know if, Doug, did I send you the clip of this?
Starting point is 00:16:24 Yeah, you did. Can you play this up on the TV? I want Justin if Doug, did I send you the clip of this? Yeah, you did. Can you play this up on the TV? I want Justin and Adam, because I want your thoughts on this and please don't impulsively react. But like wait and think about it for a second because I thought a lot about this because it is social media phenomenon is what's happening.
Starting point is 00:16:39 So let's see if Doug can pull it up here. If you are not familiar with the term tradwife, it is a woman who chooses to live a more traditional life with ultra-traditional gender roles. So the man goes outside the house, works, provides for the family. The woman stays home and she's the homemaker. She takes care of the home and the children. Alright, Doug, you can stop that. Alright, so what are you guys' thoughts on that? Because I have a lot of thoughts. I can't, what I don't know. This is a reaction for sure.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Well, are they kind of mocking it? Or is it supposed to? No. Because it comes off as a bit of a mockery. They're promoting it as a lifestyle. Really? Yes. A bit of both.
Starting point is 00:17:19 I was going to say, that comes off a little mockery to me. It doesn't come off as like tongue in cheek a little bit. That doesn't seem like they're really trying to glorify. They are promoting the music and then like the, Oh, here's my problem with it. So first off, no tradition to with it. They looked all perfect. Yeah. Yeah. How many kids you got lady? You ain't looking like that. Making homemade cereal in the morning. First of all,
Starting point is 00:17:44 cereal exists cause it's fast. Yeah. You ain't homemade homemade cereal in the morning first of all cereal exists because it's fast yeah you ain't homemade making cereal in the morning for kids wake up that's why I felt like it's a little bit of a mockery I don't feel like but but it's popular and I think part of its popular because it's different but I think it's like one of those pendulum swing so many girls are so like like I don't like this. Like you guys are promoting, what's this other thing? Oh, look, the 1950s looks kind of cool. Like maybe I want to, you know, type it, you know, do that. I mean, the truth, probably in about 10 years,
Starting point is 00:18:13 we'll probably land on a very better balanced message around that. We were, we were so extreme one way where in the 50s and stuff like that, it was the barefoot, pregnant, stay home, cook, clean. You had no other options. You had no other options type of deal, right? Which obviously is not a healthy place to be. And then we swung the other way
Starting point is 00:18:33 with the woman empowerment movement so hard, that direction where I don't need a man, you don't need a man, a man's whatever, right? And so- Having kids is a burden, don't sit home. And so now I feel like this is a part of the coming back and then we'll probably have a better healthy conversation around that there's a little bit of both.
Starting point is 00:18:53 It's interesting to me because you also have this like, on social media, this ultra, which has been, this trend has happened a little longer, this ultra like traditional masculine movement where it's like dudes are like yeah I like to yeah chop my own wood and yeah I like to you know do all these things and I only shave with a you know a block of you know from what I know right now I'm more of a fan of this traditional or trad wife thing more than I am that thing because there's like all kinds of grifters going on right
Starting point is 00:19:21 now and that like it's you don't think that there's gonna be girls, women that are grifting off other girls? You're probably right, you're probably right. I mean, that's the thing I don't like about any of these. Cause you know what that looks like to me? If you don't have kids and if you don't run a household and you're a girl, right, and you're watching this, you're like, oh, wow, that's what it's gonna be like.
Starting point is 00:19:40 You go in a house with four kids, three kids, run around. It ain't like nice music and you know, everything looks great. You don't have time to cut those little individual squares for a scene. A cereal. I'm gonna make my own cereal. Yeah, and when my husband comes home,
Starting point is 00:19:55 I'll be so happy to serve him. I mean, I like the idea. Yeah, right. Usually doesn't work out that way. It's interesting, cause I feel like this, this opposing pendulum stuff is going on right now. You're interesting. Cause I feel like this, like this, like this, this opposing pendulum stuff is going on right now. You're like on one side, you have this like hyper sexualization, hyper, it's,
Starting point is 00:20:11 you know, nothing traditional is good. And then they're like, no, no, no, we need to be like that. And it's not even traditional. It's like what advertising in the fifties showed as traditional. Cause that's not what it was like living in the fifties. No, that's what advertising showed when they were trying to sell you products. No, we're, we're going to go back to smoking cigarettes and having scotch and working, like, like being like mean to everybody.
Starting point is 00:20:36 You know, I don't know if it's a, I don't know if it's a problem with, uh, like trends and things like that, as, as much as it is the wrong people are, are finding each other. And what I mean by that is like, when I look at like the, as much as the wrong people are finding each other. And what I mean by that is like, when I look at like the, cause here's the deal, there's, trust me, there's enough beta ass dudes out there that probably need a chick to carry them in a relationship, carry them in a marriage, carry them in the household. So, you know, there's dudes out there
Starting point is 00:21:01 that wanna slide right into that role. So, I mean, who am I to judge if that's what you want to do and you're totally OK? The problem is most the women that are very strong like that, independent, that go out and go crush it in the work life, don't want that guy. They want another killer. And then that guy doesn't care for that.
Starting point is 00:21:21 Some dude who's making $10 million a year doesn't need a wife to make $10 million a year with him. He's like, I would rather have the traditional housewife. So that's the problem. The problem is the type of personality that goes out and crushes the work life balance or work life as a female doesn't want the probably the bright match male. The right match male is the super beta guy.
Starting point is 00:21:45 I heard the psychologist talk about marriage and they were talking about how divorce rates really started to skyrocket when the message became that marriage was to fulfill you and make you happy. Whereas marriage used to be, hey, we're gonna do life together and raise a family together. We're gonna raise children together. Not like you complete me, I complete you, we're gonna do life together and raise a family together. We're gonna raise children together. Not like you complete me, I complete you,
Starting point is 00:22:08 we're gonna be happy all the time. But rather like, no, no, no, we signing up to do this to raise these kids. And they said once that switch happened, then when the hard times happen, which they will, people bounce. I even try and practice, to your point, even when Katrina and I argue over something,
Starting point is 00:22:27 I always argue from the point of a team. Even when she tries to like, I understand your feeling, I was like, no, no, no, fuck my feelings. We're a team in this situation. Either you drop the ball or I drop the ball in this situation. That's how I always look at it. I think that's such a healthier way to look at this
Starting point is 00:22:43 as instead of that we are these like. Like we win. Yeah, exactly. We're either winning or losing. There was something that happened in our house the other day. We lost as a team. As the leader of the family,
Starting point is 00:22:55 this was something that I wanted to happen. It didn't happen. I said it again. It didn't happen again. It's like, and whatever, shit happened. It is what it is. But when we're looking back at it, we don't need to go through all this like,
Starting point is 00:23:05 oh, you feel that way, I feel that way, it's as simple as this, we failed as a team. And what do we need to do? Even when the kids get in trouble at school or something, and we just went through this again, and that was the conversation, was we all collectively came together as a team, as a unit, as a family, where are we dropping the ball?
Starting point is 00:23:22 Where are the discrepancies? What do we need to address and you know? What are the habits we can create going forward so this doesn't happen again? Yeah, it's like we're all talking about this collectively It's not singling out, you know you I can't believe you made this mistake You know like I'm I'm trying to take responsibility For the fact that this is the environment that you're in and we need to figure out like maybe there's some things that we all need to do better. There does seem to be a swing generally. I read another statistic that kids, I forgot what's the next generation, there's like
Starting point is 00:23:55 there was Millennials then there was what was the one under underneath them? Gen Z. Gen Z and then there's another one that the younger generations are rejecting dating apps. Dating apps precisely because they're like, they're not fulfilling. Yeah. That younger people are not wanting to go on dating apps. A lot of them are rejecting them and saying precisely like,
Starting point is 00:24:15 I'm not feeling fulfilled. Like this is not giving me what I want. You know, I always wonder like how I would have handled things like that if it wasn't part of my generation, like, cause we were we were Already passed all that. Yeah, I never used I've never been on dating app. I don't think anyone in here as no Yeah, you have tried. Did you ever go out on dates or anything like that from it? I did a couple just actually I met Rachel through a dating app. No shit. Yeah, it was the pandemic
Starting point is 00:24:41 Nope, nobody was out. So I didn't know that Talked about that. I didn't I didn was out. I didn't know that. We never talked about that. It's true. I didn't know that. Wow. Yeah, I mean, I don't... So my point of bringing that up was that, because I have like a buddy who's like still like living the single life, right? And he's like, I mean, he uses those apps to like... He'll show me his calendar.
Starting point is 00:25:02 He's got a date here. Yes. I mean, he'll date like 12 different girls over the course of like two weeks. It's so wild, dude. Because it's that easy though. He's a good looking guy. Makes good money. Yeah, makes decent money, you know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:25:16 Does he ever say to you like, ah man, I really want. Oh he's so, he like, that's Katrina's best friend, right? So she's like he. Oh I know who you're talking about. So he's just not happy. Yeah. How old is he now? Yeah, but he's our age. He's just 40. He's reached that age now? So she's like he would. Oh, I know who you're talking about. So he's just not happy. Yeah. How old is he now? Yeah, but he's our age.
Starting point is 00:25:27 He's just 40. He's reached that age now where he's like, uh-oh. Yeah, it's not cute anymore, yeah. Yeah, it was cool in your late 20s, 30s. Is it hard, do you think it's hard for someone like him because he's tasted the novelty, he's had all the opportunities, been with different girls, obviously successful guy,
Starting point is 00:25:43 good looking guy, do you think it would be hard for him to back out of that and not play that game anymore? I think it's less about that and it's more common that something that I think all of us go through. And I think all of us have experienced this before where there comes a time in your dating life where you realize, and this happens at different stages of everybody's life, some people are lucky
Starting point is 00:26:05 and they learn this in their 20s, some people it takes their 30s, some people not till their 40s, some people take two, three divorces before they figure it out. But most of what people are attracted to early on in their life are for all the wrong reasons. They think it's the right,
Starting point is 00:26:19 cause they have this lust, right? You see this girl and she's hot, and so that attracts you that. And then the thing that connects you are all the wrong things. Your traumas match up. Your traumas, your insecurities, your all these things that are not healthy, right? I want to be the father figure. I want to be the the guy who teaches and so I get the girl who has got the sign on her back that says you know I need help. And so I... Or the girl who wants to fix the dude. Yes, and so you do these dating loops of,
Starting point is 00:26:48 it's a different person, but it's the same shit. You're still attracted to all your trauma and you don't realize that. And then you finally break that cycle. And I remember when I broke that cycle in my late 20s and you know, it led like- Was there like a moment where you're like, oh. 100%.
Starting point is 00:27:03 I like, I made a conscious decision. Like I am the next girl I date is gonna be nothing like I've ever dated before. Like, and I remember deciding I was gonna take this girl out and I was like, she's not like my type. Like, I knew she was, like I thought she wasn't my type physically. And I'm like, I'm gonna date her
Starting point is 00:27:19 based off of this different connection and of things that we have in common that seem healthier. Let me try this. What's that show that dating show? It's like be on that dating show. So, but I, so that's what I think. And I think I love my, my, my buddy to death. And I, but I think he's still trapped in the like, and, and all those apps do is, is it makes that process and turnover faster. Cause you got a whole sea of people in that category. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you just go through more and more of them
Starting point is 00:27:49 and you don't realize that they're all the same. They are. They could all be black, right, brown, gray. They could all be different colors, different races, different religions, but they all have the same trauma. They all have the same thing that you are. And I recognize that in myself that I kept going after these girls.
Starting point is 00:28:04 And then I had to ask myself, why do I like, or why do I think I like that? I like it because temporarily it gives me this fulfillment. It makes me feel smart. It makes me feel strong. It makes me, it feels good, all that. But then when I really unpack and go, okay, if I have to lock it down with this woman for the rest of my life, raise a child, build an empire with her, what, if I had to build that character, what does it look like? Oh wait, she doesn't have those attributes. She has different attributes. And so my whole thing flipped.
Starting point is 00:28:30 It was the thing that I would have said, oh, these are the top five things I want her to have. That became no longer important. And the things that I probably didn't think were that important became my top five. And then the whole type of girl. I mean, Katrina does not look like anything that I dated in my 20s at all. She's nothing, nothing like that. She's so opposite all of girl. I mean, Katrina does not look like anything that I dated in my, my twenties at all. She's nothing, nothing like that. She's so opposite all of that.
Starting point is 00:28:48 And then we have this incredible partnership. Yeah. And you obviously found her. Yeah. And so, and I just think that a lot of people suffer from that. And, and the, and it's tough because you have such a pool that the trauma, there's so much connection and there, you feel all these hormones and chemicals going and the roller coaster of the highs and the lows, the fighting and the makeup and it makes people, they get all that confused.
Starting point is 00:29:12 Especially if you grow up in a household like that. Yes. Because it feels familiar. Yes. You don't realize it. It feels familiar. The emotion of the down and the up again gives you a high. And so you, so many people attribute that to love.
Starting point is 00:29:27 And it's really just a fucked up lust, trauma lust. And they don't even, and they don't know it. And they don't even know it. And they're stuck in this loop until they kind of break that. And I tell you, it was, it's a difficult thing to break because you have one, you have to be aware of it. That's the first step.
Starting point is 00:29:44 And then after you become aware of it, you really have to kind of get out of your comfort zone to date something and to try things that you never would before. And you know, and it's a trip. And what I, what I thought was the most interesting, like looking back at our relationship is, uh, like I had a, uh, a similar pattern and people that probably can connect to this, like, you know, like you, you connect to these people that probably can connect to this like, you know, like you connect to these people that are the wrong people, right? The ones that you connect through
Starting point is 00:30:09 trauma and this with that. And it's the, it's like fireworks for the first six months, maybe even a year. And then it like plateaus. And then it's like all, then you see all the negative things of the relationship from that part. That's a bunch of toxic bullshit. Yes. What the reverse with Katrina was like, yeah, I'm into this girl. I'm into her, let me see where this goes. They built. Just built.
Starting point is 00:30:31 And here we are 13 years later, and I swear to God, every aspect of the relationship is better than what it was. And it's been like that. That's great. Yeah, and that doesn't mean we haven't had challenges, and we've had all those things, but even every one of those, we come out even stronger,
Starting point is 00:30:47 better, and it's like, that to me was the big, oh, okay, this is how it was supposed to be. Traumalist Valentine's cards. Hear me out. Hey, or a trauma-based dating app. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:01 You really know what you're in for. Just feed right into it. You know what you're doing. Did you grow up in an you right? Just go right. No, it's you doing. Yeah, did you grow up? Did you grow up in an abusive? You know, I yeah, I don't I don't know if I use each other. Yeah, high five I I don't know if I ever shared this with you guys. I definitely haven't shared on the podcast I don't know if I share with you guys before but when Katrina and I for one of the things that she was so patient with
Starting point is 00:31:20 Me because I was still coming out of that, that when we were first talking, when we weren't exclusively talking, we were just talking and dating off and on, see each other for a while, but not see each other, I was talking to another girl, and that other girl was like a total representation of like my old trauma. And it was such a good, it was so awesome
Starting point is 00:31:41 that she was patient enough to like stick it out with me during that so I could like. Because you could see the contrast. Yes, one we could be with that one. Another we could be hanging with her and then go back. And then I remember going like, what am I even doing? Fucking around with this girl? Like all the drama and the shit and also, but yet I kept coming back and I'm like, that's my old shit still attached to that. That's so crazy. Knowing that I know that I shouldn't be there. That's so crazy. Yeah. Knowing that I know that I shouldn't be there. That's so crazy. Speaking of dating, did you guys know that there's this,
Starting point is 00:32:07 oh yeah, you guys do know this. I forgot who told Robert. Robert told us about this. Did you guys know that there's this thing about strong men, so strong men competitors who are massive, they're massive, they're giants, that they tend to date tiny-ass petite women? Do you guys know this?
Starting point is 00:32:24 A thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah? This is like an actual thing. You visibly see that with some of these strongman competitors. Their wives are like tiny. Yeah, they make any woman look small. They're big. These guys are like six, five. Also they're like five, what, two, three? They date and marry women, they're like five one,
Starting point is 00:32:38 or five two, and did you know that there's a scientific explanation for this? I was just gonna say, the theory would be that, okay, because when you're that big, it's unhealthy. Your organs are bigger, you don't normally live as long, and so it's an unhealthy thing to have. And so you would probably want to balance that out for evolutionary.
Starting point is 00:32:55 Correct. So okay, that's so funny. That's the theory. The theory is that, evolutionarily speaking, that the genes are trying to bring it back to the more normal the medium yeah you know right down to the middle interesting now what's funny is that I wonder if like we need more freaks like we need some big people to just get them all bigger ones yeah bro what's his name means bigger well you
Starting point is 00:33:17 know it's funny about that though but there's examples of that like when like the super to see look who's this that's a hapthor yeah yeah and she's got heels on bro yeah you know he could put her in his pocket he's in like he's also a giant astronaut he's awesome but isn't she like five two she doesn't look that short she actually looks kind of she that's in heels you should compare to him yeah no no she's actually think I think if you look her up she's she's really tiny if I'm not mistaken yeah yeah. Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, so it's like you're... She's 5'2".
Starting point is 00:33:46 5'2", bro? Yeah, she's petite anyway. And how tall is he? He's giant. What is he like, 6'8", 6'9"? Yeah, she just kind of... Now, do you think the same evolutionary draw is there for her too?
Starting point is 00:34:01 Because she's smaller and that there's a part that... Bro, he's 6'9". Yeah, he's 6'9", dude. He's 6'9", bro's a part. Well he's six nine. He's six nine. Oh my God. That's crazy. Speaking of six nine. So I was I rewatched the Dennis Rodman documentary. How crazy is this?
Starting point is 00:34:15 Have you ever even heard of anyone doing this? Well, you know that he like he didn't even make like the high school basketball team. He was no good. Yeah, you did. You told me that junior college. He played a little sucked for a while. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:24 And at 20 years old after he graduated high school at 5 9 What 5 9 where the hell do you get his big growth spurt 6 9 at 20 years old? Oh, you grew a foot in a year. That's weird weird. I never even not heard that. Yes That's got a word of foot. Does that hurt and then all of a sudden it all sudden had game I wonder how awkward he would have he was for that year Well, he wasn't that that was what made him such a super athlete was he grew that foot and then boom was good Yeah, play just fine with it. That is weird. Like a snap like overnight. Isn't that interesting? My brother went not like that crazy. My brother went through a crazy growth spurt. We thought he was short
Starting point is 00:35:02 Up until he was a sophomore, he was like, he was like five, I don't remember how tall he was, but now he's six two or six three. But it all happened in one year. So that was me too, my junior year. So I was a point guard, five three. I was my freshman year, sophomore year, I was five three. And then my junior year, I shot all the way up to six foot.
Starting point is 00:35:20 Oh, that's funny. Wait, you went from five three to six foot in one year? Yeah. Were you hungry? Now, yeah. You know what I mean? That's a lot of nutrients. But that's also, now I was.
Starting point is 00:35:33 You eat food. I hope you did. That's a lot of growth, dude. It is. I did have a harder time with my growth. Like, as a point guard, soccer player, five, three, I was short and quick. And then all of a sudden I became this lanky guy and it was, I wasn't as coordinated.
Starting point is 00:35:52 What was it like? I went through that in my junior year. So I mean, I was like point guard and I was like all like the skill positions and everything. And then yeah, it was like, for me, it was more, I mean, I grew a few inches. So I went from probably like five, 10 to six foot, but it was more of like my body chain. I just, I got like big, you know?
Starting point is 00:36:14 And- Because you were lifting? Yeah, and so I, yeah, and then just like, almost instantaneous. And so then I went to play basketball, I had no shot. And it took me the entire season until the very end of the season, I finally got on the court. Yeah, I went for, so, I had no shot. It took me the entire season until the very end of the season I finally got on the court.
Starting point is 00:36:26 Yeah, I went for it. So my height was pretty consistent. I was almost as tall as I am now at that time I was a freshman. But the big difference was the summer between freshman year and sophomore year, I lifted weights and ate a lot. And I came back to school, I think I gained 20 pounds
Starting point is 00:36:44 or 25 pounds. That's a lot as a kid. Bro, I showed up and everybody was like, what the hell happened to you? And I was dead lifting, I was squatting, all I did was eat and lift that entire summer. And I just blew up. I got stretch marks in my legs and my shoulders,
Starting point is 00:36:57 just exploded. So when you went back to school, kids must have been like, who the hell are you? That's a whole, that's a lot of- I mean, I was always like a skinny kid, so I just looked like I lengthed out quite a bit. Just looked like someone stretched you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:09 And I mean, it is a lot in a short period of time, but I don't know, I guess it doesn't look as noticeable. It wasn't like I got a bunch of muscle put on me. That's which all you cared about as a kid. You know what I'm saying? Like, nobody was like, I didn't shoot up to like crazy heights. Six foot is-
Starting point is 00:37:23 I care, cause my dad was six, seven, you know? My brother was six, three, six, four. You were waiting for the- Yeah, I was like, I was like, I was that kid that was like squeezing, you know? Like hanging on things, like hoping. Cause the commercial.
Starting point is 00:37:37 You know, like a whole lot of hope, dude. Didn't go anywhere. That's hilarious. Hey, so, we're, so as of the recording of this, when this drops we'll be coming back I believe. We're gonna be heading, flying out tomorrow. We're gonna be flying out to meet with a bunch of coaches and which you know this is my these are my favorite you know travel in general I don't I'm not a big fan of but I love meeting with coaches and trainers so
Starting point is 00:38:02 much. I actually I really look forward. Every time we come I always get excited about it. really look forward. Every time we come back from one of these trips. I always get excited about it. I do, man. Every time we come back from one of these trips, it's fulfilling. Well, you hear their success stories, you hear about how they're building their businesses, why they became trainers.
Starting point is 00:38:15 Trainers in general tend to be, and the ones that really wanna make it a career, I should say, they tend to be very passionate. Super passionate. And growth-minded. It's contagious. And growth-minded. And I think you learn that through fitness. You have to be growth-. And growth minded. And growth minded. And I think you learn that through fitness. You have to be growth minded if you pursue fitness
Starting point is 00:38:29 because you're gonna suck for a long time. It's also who we are in our core, right? It's not like anybody in here was like, if you asked us 20 years ago, like, oh, one day I wanna be a podcaster. Yeah, I wanna be a big dude. Did wanna do this. I never wanted to do this.
Starting point is 00:38:45 I think. I just knew I didn't want to talk about fitness, but I figured it would be. Yeah, I mean, I've always, I love trainers. I love, and I enjoyed working with trainers more than I did clients. So I like trainers even more than I like being a trainer. They're the ones I always, when I go to the gyms,
Starting point is 00:39:01 this is the ones I watch and try and connect with every time I work out. And I just, I think there's such a skill and art to being great at that craft. And so if we can, you know, part any sort of wisdom. Speaking of which, our three day free training is up. It's up and running. We've talked about it now a couple times.
Starting point is 00:39:17 So this is for trainers. If we put up a three day training where we teach you how to get leads, how to build your business, how to project and forecast how much you're gonna make and how to close deals and present packages. Mindpumptrainercourse.com, it's totally free. So we put that up. That was all part of something else,
Starting point is 00:39:36 but we wanted to put that out for free for people to check out. All right, speaking of social media, I gotta show you, there's all this talk on social media about this girl that they call the hippie rapper. The hippie rapper? They call her the hippie rapper and it's literally. Does she actually rap?
Starting point is 00:39:54 Yeah, I mean, I don't know, but people either defend her or hate her. Okay. Why? Completely, just watch. Let me see, let me see. Okay, let's post. Savage, powerful and savage. hate her. Okay. Why? Just watch. Let me see. it's mine. Look at me and you sing. La da da dee da dee da dee, la da da dee da. La da da dee da dee, I got that bitch energy.
Starting point is 00:40:33 All right, Doug. That's it, that's it. So it's, what's her name? Is she super viral or no? Super viral. Her name is Shanine Blake and she lives in, I think she lives in the like Amazon and is like. She just like roll I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
Starting point is 00:40:48 I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
Starting point is 00:41:04 I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, doing psychedelics or whatever. And so you read the comments, the reason why someone sent this to me, like you gotta read these comments. People are like, you know, I try to pride myself in not automatically hating someone, but I just broke that. Like there's people like that. There's people like, poor girl, leave her alone. You know, she seems like a good person or whatever. It's crazy how divisive it is.
Starting point is 00:41:21 But she looks like Ayahuasca. Like if Ayahuasca was a person, you know what I'm saying? Isn't that what they would look like? I think so. Does she call herself a hippie rapper? Or is that? No, her name is, I think her name, I don't know actually. She pulled up her YouTube.
Starting point is 00:41:33 Yeah, let me, can I see, what's her, I'm gonna see what her Her name is Shanine, Shannon Blake or Shanine Blake? Shanine Blank, Blake, I believe. Seems nice enough, but yeah. Yeah, there she is right there. Oh, okay. A million followers. Oh wow. Blowing up because, and the seems nice enough. Yeah, there she is right there. Oh Million followers. Oh wow blowing up because in the controversy is like is what it's just just the track Yeah, let me see your picture page a little bit. Okay. Yeah
Starting point is 00:41:54 I feel bad for people hating on her so much because she just she's just doing her thing or whatever I mean, I could see she's kind of weird but I don't know That's your trauma lust talking Come a copyright that trademark that shit, bro, that's a book dude I swear to God last you literally it's one of the most like amazing wisdom packed rants your one So I got ideas. Yeah, it was so well branded too. Traumatized. Ranting.
Starting point is 00:42:27 Yeah, good stuff. But anyway, it's just funny how people will go viral because people will hate them or argue, you know what I mean? It's just, that's a little bit. She's getting hate, that's a lot of hate. A lot of hate. Like, who cares?
Starting point is 00:42:38 I don't know, dude. Stuff like that, it's just like, I mean, she's just putting music out and looking crazy. Well, it's like I talked about earlier, man. The Instagram or the Instagram or social media in general has just become such a toxic terrible so talk says it's so weird right. So yeah it's it is weird. It's weird that you know and I think a lot about what
Starting point is 00:42:58 what Peterson said to us like that that still has stuck with me when you know I asked him about tick tock and what he thought and like the that's still as stuck with me when I asked him about TikTok and what he thought and like the, or Twitter, excuse me, the future of Twitter and is, can Elon come in and help it? And he was just like, no, it's impossible because it defies the rules of our society. It rewards all the worst things.
Starting point is 00:43:18 There's no way to do it because the natural borders and rules that work in the real world just don't exist there. So it ends up amplifying the worst of us. And the best of us get no air time. So it's just, there's really nothing you can do about it. Unless you totally control the whole thing, which in this case is no longer social media. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:43:40 And I get mad at myself when I engage. Like there's times where I feel like I want to engage, and then I do it. And then once you start to pull that thread, it just goes. It's so hard if somebody gets at you, and then you go, okay, I'm gonna send a zinger back, or I'm gonna say something, or I'm gonna tell them, or put them in their place, or check them,
Starting point is 00:44:01 or correct them, and you do it. And then an onslaught of more people come on and then you're just now you're going after this one and defending this one and it's like, before you know it you're like, and it's just why? There's those are net, those people in the real world, I wouldn't even give them the time of day to talk to them. Those people in the real world,
Starting point is 00:44:20 nobody would wanna talk, nobody would wanna talk. Yeah, they're not likable. At all. Like yeah, they would not, it would. They filter their way out of the conversation. Yeah. It's like, oh, okay, I see where you are. I'm over here.
Starting point is 00:44:30 And nobody wants to hang out with you. Yeah, they wouldn't, you would never take that person serious, you would never allow them in your conversation anywhere else. And so yeah, and then I allow them to do that. And it's like, God, I have to, that's why I hate them. It's wild, right? I'm outta there soon.
Starting point is 00:44:43 There was this young lady that did, she must have was a kid, actually sent this video to Jessica because it was profound. It was this kid and she was doing like a, I don't know, it's kind of like a poem. You know when they, it's kind of like a poem and she was reading it and the title of it was
Starting point is 00:44:57 Our Parents Were Right, It's the Phones. And she does this whole poem about, oh, I didn't believe my parents, they said it was the phones or whatever. She talks about how it's affected her. I'm a shell of myself. I compare myself to other people. I feel terror, this and that.
Starting point is 00:45:10 And it was this young kid. She must have been like 15 years old doing this whole thing. And it was going viral with other kids watching it. So there's hope. I think a lot of kids are becoming aware because there's a generation right now that's coming up whose parents, this is my older kids,
Starting point is 00:45:27 my older kids were part of this generation where we gave them devices not fully understanding what the hell we were doing. But I think the younger, the generation even younger than them, I think now people are starting to become aware and the kids themselves are starting to say things like, oh I don't know. I mean, there is an optimistic side to all this
Starting point is 00:45:44 and that is because of things like Moore's Law, because of the ability to connect and reach with anybody across the world instantaneously, we do tend to learn these lessons faster. So like, you know, when we, you know, 100 years ago, when, you know, cultures adopted bad ideas, and I mean, it would permeate a society for 50 to 100 years before you realize, oh, that's a bad way to run the family.
Starting point is 00:46:10 Where here, it's like, and it seems so awful to us, but it's like a decade, that's it. It takes a decade of fucking up and we see enough. Do you think it gets, like it's faster, but it hits a higher, quicker extreme? Well, you had to ask yourself, is it a quicker extreme or are you just aware of all the bad stuff right away? That's a good question.
Starting point is 00:46:28 You know what I'm saying? That's a really good question. If it was just things like- So many data points at once. Maybe the pendulum just bounces faster now because of- Which is optimistic, that's positive. Yeah, yeah, that's not a bad point. So there is that side to this, is this side-
Starting point is 00:46:41 I gotta think about that, that's interesting. That we tend to, I mean, I would assume that's why we sense this feel of like we're off kilter. We're like out of, it's like, because it's all at once. Like we're trying to like course correct on so many things at once. Well, yeah, because it's only been that recent. Are we that connected that fast, right?
Starting point is 00:47:00 Well, the world's problems and shit. Well, I'll tell you what, just in our space, health and fitness, I've never, I see the crazy information getting posted and promoted about diet stuff, which has been, since I can remember, I've seen crazy stuff being put, like the food pyramid and all these official guidelines that were just opposite of what was healthy. So they're still doing that, but what's
Starting point is 00:47:21 interesting now is when I see a post on social media of like, here's a plant-based burger, enjoy it, it's good for you. The comments underneath are not supportive. Most of the people underneath are like, no, you're crazy, real meat's better. No, this is, whatever, this is much better. Like a company like ButcherBox, for example, you know, that company's exploding and it's gotta be the awareness that social media is creating. Because the awareness of health around the grass-fed meat
Starting point is 00:47:55 and all that stuff. No, I think, I 100% think that that is the positive side of what we're seeing right now is that- That's a good way to look at it. You might be right. I mean, back when we used to have this debate a couple years ago, that was kind of how I would always lean on it. It's like, you know, I believe the pendulum will always swing back and it does feel like the pendulum is swinging faster.
Starting point is 00:48:17 It does feel like it's swinging harder too, but I think part of why it feels like it's swinging harder is because you're aware of all of it right away. Where before it would be happening states across or worlds across from you, and you wouldn't even know about it, and then you hear about one scenario, but you didn't hear about the million that happened leading up to that one situation
Starting point is 00:48:37 once it finally made your town. Where now it's like, instantaneously, you see every town and every person that's struggling with that thing, and then it feels like wildfire But then people like wait a minute. Yeah. Yeah, so I mean that's probably the most positive thing about that I think we're gonna I think we will adopt a Healthier relationship with tech. I think people are starting to wake up and you know
Starting point is 00:49:01 It'll be when the schools start picking up on it and it's something that we start to teach all children on. I think we have to, I think for kids, we need to be regulated, like drugs. Yeah. I'm very anti-regulation for the most part, but when it comes to kids, I definitely see value in regulation. I don't think alcohol should be illegal,
Starting point is 00:49:22 but I definitely agree with it being for someone who's 21 and older. So I do think regulations for children are a good idea. I do think it's gonna spread too, I think especially with social media and technology, you're gonna probably see more regulations because people are starting to see. I mean, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:49:38 Remember I brought up the whole Disney thing with them, like starting to do more in-person things. I think you're gonna see community and in-person,. I think, I think you're going to see, you know, community and in-person, like, I think it's, it's on its comeback. I really do. In fact, if I had to make a bet like on like, you know, if you're in a business, like I would double and triple down on community on in-person things on stuff like that, because we went so hard in this direction of work from home and virtual and
Starting point is 00:50:02 zoom and all this that like, that was so cool that we could do all that, that we're starving. Perhaps the pandemic was a gift in that way. Yeah, like it accelerated. It kind of forced everybody to go real extreme in the way that we were going anyway. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:14 And then everybody was like, uh-uh, this sucks. It isn't working. I don't like this. I need to be around people. Hold on, Hunter. Yeah, interesting. All right, so today's shout out is one of the new free guides that we have out there.
Starting point is 00:50:23 Our partners at mphormp hormones calm put together a Peptide guide it's free and it covers all of the popular Most effective most used or well-known peptides and it goes over what they do what they don't do how to take them that kind Of stuff and it's free. It's at mind pump free calm and it's a peptide guide. It's totally free You already know the benefits of probiotics. They reduce anxiety. They can help some people with depression. Of course they help with digestion. They help with your skin. Well there's a company we work with called Seed. They make the world's best probiotic hands down. They actually have a device that
Starting point is 00:51:02 shows the capsule going through what would be simulated as the digestive tract and delivers live bacteria to your colon. Other probiotics don't do that. They get destroyed in the gut. So this is the leading company when it comes to probiotics. That's why we work with them. Go check them out. Go to seed.com forward slash mind pump.
Starting point is 00:51:20 Use the code 25 mind pump for 25% off your first month's order of seeds daily symbiotic. All right, back to the show. First question is from SkullsOfKings. How much volume is considered too much? How many sets per muscle group should we aim for? 6, 8, 12? So this one's hard to answer because of the individual variance, but the data does show that per muscle group per week is probably around nine to 18 sets. That's a big range, right?
Starting point is 00:51:50 Between nine to 18 sets is what's gonna be considered. It's a big range, Sal, but it's a good, it's important. I love that, I like talking about this because I didn't know that as a kid, first of all. Like I didn't know that there was like a sweet spot for that, I assume more is better. And so I think understanding that falling somewhere between nine and 18 total sets for the week
Starting point is 00:52:12 is just a good goal for most people. And if you're way under that, there's lots of room for you to potentially scale up in volume. If you're over that already, you probably need to bring it down. Yeah, the things that should be considered with this, well, there's the obvious, right? Your recovery ability and lifestyle,
Starting point is 00:52:28 your experience, fitness, that kind of stuff. That's an obvious one. But the other things you want to consider are what kind of sets are we talking? Like, I could do a lot of sets of cable laterals way more than I could of standing overhead barbell press. Like, set compared to set is not the same. way more than I could standing overhead barbell press. Set compared to set is not the same.
Starting point is 00:52:49 Free weights tend to be more damaging than machines, even if the exercise is the same. Compound lifts more damaging than single joint lifts. Higher reps within the range of what's considered, I guess, normal or appropriate. Tends to be more damaging than lower reps. Of course, intensity plays a big role. Are these hard sets or the easy sets? So, so many factors that need to be considered.
Starting point is 00:53:19 I think the important thing though is you're better off not trying to seek what your max is. You're better off trying to not see how much you could tolerate, but rather how little can I get away with and still make progress. That'll guide you in a much better way, right? I mean, you guys, if you were like,
Starting point is 00:53:38 let's look at just the major lifts. You would never do 18 or more sets of squatting or deadlifting in a week. I mean, it would have to be like low intensity sets. Even then I wouldn't, because 12 sets of squatting in a week is a good amount. That's four sets three days a week. Yeah, yeah. And even then I'd modify intensity.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Totally. I'd only have one really hard day. I would not do 12 hard sets of squats. No. No. So having 18 is like crazy amount. I mean, unless. I'm averaging right now and I'm very consistent.
Starting point is 00:54:11 Now granted I have a lot of stress. I have kids, the whole deal, I'm 45. But I'm also on testosterone and numerous peptides and more supplements than. And eat very healthy. And I eat very healthy. I do on average, I would say, uh, probably I'm probably closer to 15 sets per body part per week.
Starting point is 00:54:31 So between 10 to 15 sets, I don't even go up to 18 per week. When I start to push it past 15, then I start to notice, um, you know, it's, it's too much. I start to get sore and not really, um, not really able to recover very well. For most of my training career as a trainer, my clients typically did best around six to nine per body part per week. My consistent clients. Also consider this, that there are other ways to increase volume with less risk. For example, like you are increasing volume if you did the exact same amount of sets as you did the previous week, but you slowed every exercise down by two
Starting point is 00:55:11 seconds on the intensity went up. Yeah. Intensity went up on that time under tension went up on that volume. So technically volume is up, right? And, and you're not moving the bar more times. You're not putting a bunch more weight on there, you're just slowing the tempo down. And so there's things that you can do to increase volume that isn't just the straight formula. Now Adam, when you, because you tracked all this, and I don't know if you remember this,
Starting point is 00:55:37 but when you were competing, obviously you were even trained for a long time, you also were on anabolic. What was the peak amount of sets you were doing per body part 20? 20 per week. See, and that was pro. Yeah, that was pro.
Starting point is 00:55:50 And after three years of like never missing it. And running some gear. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I was taking way more testosterone. I wasn't just taking testosterone too. I was taking steroids that enhanced my recovery process and things like that too. And you were trying to get good sleep and a whole deal.
Starting point is 00:56:04 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I mean I was, and you could argue looking back that I probably was still doing more than what was necessary, right? I probably could have scaled back. But that was at my absolute peak. I mean I don't. Another thing to consider with this in my experience
Starting point is 00:56:20 is the sets, if they're spread out throughout the week versus all in one workout, tend to be far better. So instead of doing 15 sets for back on Monday, I tend to get way better results. When I do. Way better for recovery and just overall performance as you're doing the exercise. Way better, because if you try,
Starting point is 00:56:41 and that's why I was such a, once you converted me over to full body routines, I never looked back because I used to do body part splits, so like that, where 15 to 20 sets of a muscle group in one workout, and you hammer it. And when you're really honest with yourself and you look back at the quality of that workout, it's like you do two maybe really good exercises,
Starting point is 00:57:02 and then worry that you really can push it, you're really making gains and strides, and then all the rest are fillers. Nonsense, finishers. Yeah, exactly, finishers, pumpers, doing machines and you're already gassed. I already gave it everything I could on those deadlifts and those big rows.
Starting point is 00:57:21 Now all these other exercises I'm doing, I'm not getting much out of it other than just pumping blood in the muscle. Whereas, if you divide it up over the week, it's like I have an opportunity to go hit a compound lift on each one of those that will really move the needle. And I'm fresh, because it's a new workout, so it always made a big difference then.
Starting point is 00:57:38 Next question is from smithdog416. Do you build cheat days into your nutrition plan, especially around birthdays and holidays? The whole concept of cheat days is so stupid because all it encourages is this I'm on a diet, off a diet, mentality and behavior that is not, uh, it is not conducive to a sustainable approach when it comes to nutrition. It just isn't.
Starting point is 00:58:03 Um, you, sometimes you eat food that doesn't, isn't great for you physically, so what? Maybe it's good for you for a different reason. I'm hanging out with my friends, we're enjoying ourselves. Or I'm at a birthday party. Scheduling cheat days means, number one, you tend to white knuckle it until you get to the cheat day and tend to overdo it.
Starting point is 00:58:23 Two, you have the cheat day whether you maybe need to or not. I noticed this, people are like, oh, it's my cheat day. I guess I have to have a cheat meal. And again, it encourages us like, like I'm on or I'm off. Overindulgence. There's no balance. Oh, and it also implies you're doing something wrong.
Starting point is 00:58:37 Yeah. You're not doing, so we just had Easter, right? Not that long ago. And I chose to have a drink of bourbon, you know, and that was like my choice. And I didn't go like, I'm going to schedule a couple of drinks and a cheat day that day. There was all kinds of candy and all kinds of desserts. So that, and I was like, you know what, today I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm barbecuing all day long. I'm going to enjoy the tri-tip meat and some of the sides
Starting point is 00:59:01 and I'm going to have a glass of alcohol. It wasn't like I planned it. And it really was about the moment of being there with my family, enjoying all that. And I think that like, there's no need if, and by the way, too, I think it's important that we didn't clear, make this clear too. If I'm talking to normal people, like if you're a competitor, this is a different, different story. Cause you're tracking everything you're measuring. Right.
Starting point is 00:59:24 So yeah, maybe that person you're measuring. That's an extreme anyway. So maybe that person, you're scheduling these kind of- Because you have to track. Yes. But everybody else, no, I don't think you should schedule cheat days. They will naturally happen. Holidays will happen, social events will happen. You'll probably have to learn to not indulge more times than not.
Starting point is 00:59:44 And I think that's a better practice to have is like, do I really need that? Or do I really want that? Like, back to the Easter example, like for me, I really didn't want the dessert that bad. I wasn't going to do it just because it was a holiday. And I was like, oh, I'm just going to go buck wild and eat everything, drink and do everything.
Starting point is 01:00:00 It was like, no, no, that's not good. But you know what did sound good? I'm standing out by a barbecue for four hours smoking meat, a glass of bourbon sounded really good while I'm hanging out with my brothers and my girl and stuff. That sounds way more enjoyable. Totally, yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:14 I think scheduling cheat days, it's really, I've never seen it lead to a good, balanced, relaxed relationship with nutrition. The ideal or the goal is to be able to eat in a way that serves you, where you're healthy, generally healthy, not extreme, but healthy, and it's not stressful. If it's stressful, if you're constantly stressed about it
Starting point is 01:00:38 and you have to schedule these breaks where you break a free and you're able to go out and, ah, I get to finally eat these foods that I'm thinking about all day long, then you're doing it wrong, and it's gonna be a very, very hard road to sustainability. The odds are you're not gonna be able to do it. Too much intensity around food in general.
Starting point is 01:00:56 I mean, it's like, relax. You're gonna have some flexibility there, and it's not always gonna go according to plan, but as long as you just as your intention's always there of trying to make the better decision, eat the whole foods, these interruptions happen. Instead of putting all the intensity and focus on go buck wild this one day and schedule it,
Starting point is 01:01:16 it just adds more fuel to the negative fire. I mean, I kind of feel the same way about even days off from the gym, too. I think life organically happens. It's just like, there's going to come a time where it's harder to get to the gym. And so it's like, yeah, it's your day off instead of like, Oh, I'm going to take this day off all the time. It's like, well, no, my goal is to try and actually do something. It's flow, man.
Starting point is 01:01:36 Yeah. My goal is to do something physical and active every day. What happens? That doesn't happen. So it's like, I just had to schedule that same thing with the food. Next question is from Sarah Maya. Can you discuss the differences between processed unhealthy foods
Starting point is 01:01:49 versus non-processed unhealthy foods? I notice there is a massive difference in how I feel having a homemade dessert versus pre-packaged and processed. Okay, so one thing we have to understand about food is, yes, there's foods that are better for you physiologically than other foods. But the thing that you really want to pay attention to and manage with food, there's two things. One, your relationship to that food. Why am I eating this? Am I anxious, stressed, tired? Am I trying to distract myself, whatever.
Starting point is 01:02:21 But the second part is, and this is for people who struggle with overeating, okay, which is a lot of people, it's most people, is does this food help or is this food something that makes it very difficult for me to not overeat? The reason why processed foods fall in the category of the types of foods that make it very difficult to not overeat is because they are engineered precisely to do that.
Starting point is 01:02:49 So when you homemade, when you make a pie from scratch, you're doing the same thing that the scientists are doing with processed foods, except you're not working with all the chemicals and ingredients and you don't have the tool kit. The technology, yeah. Or the technology. You're using things like sugar and flour and cinnamon
Starting point is 01:03:06 and fruit and stuff like that. They're using that, plus they're using all kinds of chemicals that you don't have access to in perfect, precise measurements tested through with millions of dollars or billions of dollars if you think of the whole industry, of how to make it so irresistible that it makes you really,
Starting point is 01:03:26 it really drives you to overeat. So, you know, a pie that you made yourself, it's still going to make you want to overeat because it tastes delicious. Stuff you buy at the store that's in a package, like they spent a lot of money, time and energy, and they've got access to things. You don't have access in your cupboard to make that food just so so Desirable it's hard to not overeat. Yeah, I think it's important to make it clear to that both both foods are considered processed One's just more processed. Yeah, if you if you make a bunch of things and add together, that's a process, right? That's it's now processed food. It's not you've added this this this and this and so to make it more palatable And so just to your point, it's like you're you're doing the same thing They are you just don't have access to the exact things that make by the way to make it more palatable. And so just to your point, it's like you're doing the same thing they are,
Starting point is 01:04:05 you just don't have access to the exact things that make you. By the way, here's a hack for quote unquote unhealthy foods that you make yourself. Make them yourself and make them with a family member. Because now what you've done, yes, you're making pie or cookies or brownies or whatever, not necessarily healthy for you physiologically. But what you are doing is deriving value from the connection with the people
Starting point is 01:04:28 around you in the process of making it. So now I'm going to eat these brownies that aren't necessarily physically healthy for me, but it was healthy for the time I spent with my kid making them or with my wife while we were hanging out in the kitchen, putting these together. And it adds a whole nother element to the food that you're eating. Because food isn't just about the nutrients and the macros and all that stuff. It's also what it means and what it represents.
Starting point is 01:04:53 And if you made the pie with your aunt together and you spent two hours doing it, the conversation around it and the work around it, yeah, you still got pie at the end. But that two hours you spent with your aunt, it was very valuable, very healthy thing. So now you've made that food, there's a whole nother element of health that comes with it. Next question is from Fulvio Castle.
Starting point is 01:05:13 Is it better to move more and eat more or to move less and eat less? Isn't that a good question? That is a good question. Yeah, I think the extremes are both terrible, right? If you're just moving so much and eating so much that you're just, like that's not good. If you're just going crazy with it,
Starting point is 01:05:29 and if you're like not moving at all and not feeding yourself, that's also terrible. So, but if we stay within the confines of, I guess what would be appropriate, I'd say move more and eat more. I mean, I think, like, try and answer this question if you were talking to yourself. So if you were assessing where you're currently at
Starting point is 01:05:51 with your, you know, life. Oh, I see. And like, what would you? Would it be better for me to move more and eat more or move less and eat less? Yes. For me, move more and eat more, I do work out most days, but that's the activity I do.
Starting point is 01:06:05 I work out for 45 minutes or an hour, and then the rest of the day, I'm sitting. That's my answer too. Like, I don't move enough. And so I think that's how I would, I guess. That's a good way to do it. To start this question or try and answer this best as we can, because obviously we're, always the individual variance
Starting point is 01:06:23 is so important, right? I know I don't move enough consistently anymore, not like I used to, you know? So like I need to move more and it would be like I don't even hit 10,000 steps consistently. So that right there in itself- I'd be surprised if I hit 6,000 steps. Yeah. So that right there tells me like I would be far better off moving more and eating a little more food than I would be like, oh, I'll just eat less because I'm not moving very much because I'm already eating a low amount of calories. What do you think, Justin?
Starting point is 01:06:52 Same thing? Yeah, same thing. Move more, eat more. I mean, it's just like I'm trying to think of who would benefit from moving less and eating less other than a super hard-working, hardcore person that's just already burning, you know, good, Julian calories. Yeah. That'd be that person.
Starting point is 01:07:10 Maybe like the 18 year old version of you. Yeah. You know, yeah. Like that. I mean, I take a break. Honestly, I, in order for me to kind of gain my first bit of muscle when I was younger, that's kind of what I had to do. I had to, I had to move less. I just could not keep up with the amount of calories I needed to consume in order to put mass on my body. And so I had to reduce the amount of activity that I'm doing. But movement is, and here's the thing too,
Starting point is 01:07:33 because we're kind of addressing this question from the aesthetic or like body composition. But just moving more in general is healthier for me. I think that's where my conundrum is. Like really, it's like move more is like everything. Like eating more, yeah, sure. But like, you know, eating less, I could even put in with moving more.
Starting point is 01:07:55 Like I just think the movement part of it, we're engineered to move. Like it's like a responsibility we have with our body. And so it's like, for me to say I need to move less Like there's a downward spiral to that that I don't want to be a part. I I mean I agree if you think of the average person in Modern society they simply we simply do not move enough. No, I think the only I think people in in cities that That are really really inconvenient to drive in. Like New York or San Francisco.
Starting point is 01:08:26 They tend to get a decent amount of movement. Like I have a cousin that lives in San Francisco and he walks a lot because if he wants to go to the grocery store. Yeah, so he's structured. He's gotta walk. If he wants to go here, everywhere he goes, he walks. He doesn't even own a car
Starting point is 01:08:39 because it doesn't make any sense to own a car there. But aside from that, the average person, what's the average life look like now? You wake up, you get your breakfast, you drive your kids to school, drive to work, sit down, all day, get up to the bathroom, and then that's it. And then get in your car, drive home, pick up your kids, come home, sit down again,
Starting point is 01:08:59 eat dinner, sit down and watch TV, go to bed. And even if you're a fitness fanatic, you consider yourself and you train every day for one hour, you still ain't moving that much. No, my activity, I'm still sedentary, because I literally work out for an hour, and then we're in here, and then I go home. You're better off than the guy
Starting point is 01:09:15 who doesn't work out at all for sure, but you definitely. This is why I like strength training so much, is for the average person, because. Protecting. Yes, because having muscle really does protect you or buffers you against the negative effects of not moving more than not having muscle.
Starting point is 01:09:33 So movement is better just period across the board, but if your life means you're not gonna, like if you have a desk job, like there's only so much you could do, building some muscle really does protect you quite a bit against that stuff. Look, if you like the show, you got to head over to mindpumpfree.com, check out our peptide guide. It's a free guide, teaches you about the most popular peptides. Also, you can find us on social media. Justin is
Starting point is 01:09:58 on Instagram, MindPumpJustin. I'm on Instagram, MindPumpDeStefano, and Adam is on Instagram, MindPumpAdam. Thank you for for listening to mind pump. If your goal is to build and shape your body, dramatically improve your health and energy and maximize your overall performance, check out our discounted RGB super bundle at mindpumpmedia.com. The RGB super bundle includes maps, anabolic maps, performance and maps, aesthetic nine months of phased expert exercise programming designed by Sal, Adam and Justin to systematically transform the way your body looks, feels and performs. With detailed workout blueprints and over 200 videos, the RGB Super Bundle is like having
Starting point is 01:10:38 Sal, Adam and Justin as your own personal trainers, but at a fraction of the price. The RGB Super Bundle has a full 30-day money-back guarantee, and you can get it now plus other valuable free resources at mindpumpmedia.com. If you enjoy this show, please share the love by leaving us a 5-star rating and review on iTunes and by introducing MindPump to your friends and family. We thank you for your support, and until next time, this is MindPump to your friends and family. We thank you for your support, and until next time, this is MindPump.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.