Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 311: Chris Illuminati Interview

Episode Date: June 16, 2016

Sal, Adam & Justin interview author and comedian, Chris Illuminati. Chris has written several books (find them on amazon.com) and is a contributor on brobible.com. Get the Mind Pump Build Your Butt Bundle at www.mindpumpmedia.com Please subscribe, rate and review this show! Each week the best reviewers are announced on the show and sent Mind Pump T-shirts! Learn more about Mind Pump at www.mindpumpmedia.com.

If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go. MIND, MIND, MIND, UP with your hosts. Salda Stefano, Adam Schaefer, and Justin Andrews. Well, Chris, yeah. Hey, how's it going? Good, brother. You can hear us okay? Yeah, yeah, I can hear you all good. Excellent. Where are you at, by the way?

I'm in New Jersey. Oh, it's a good place. Never been there with a big sigh I hear the women are good out there though. I hear they're a little bit sluddy you're out there than they're in California is that true? You know, I think it's a different kind. It's like a different kind of slutty you know i think it's a different kind it's it's like uh... different status-letting that it's like the real is going for a different lake you know they're spying to be in new york in california where they're expiring to be

so it's kind of like you know six one-half thousand a year iroh i might my ethnicity is a tie and i'm actually born here in america but uh... people always talk about new jersey to me like i'm supposed to know what it's all about over there Yeah, because every every Italian in the world comes from here for some reason I don't know why that's yeah damn Jersey Shore

Yeah, how's your fist pump and grease headed? Actually, wow that was racist. Yeah, Chris when did you when you do start? Stand up when you start? I actually started a couple years ago. I've done it on and off when I can with a family and being so far from New York. It's kind of not as much an option anymore. But I still do it here and there. Were you writing before you started stand up? Yes.

Oh, okay. So you started. I've been writing since like, want to say i started on the internet like around 2006 ish i see it's uh... new work is uh... hotbed a comedy that way you're saying it's tough because you don't live there anymore yeah i mean like um... for me i'm in jerry i'm about uh... with the express i'm about an hour away on the train that's not bad so if you stick around and do open mics or whatever,

if you're on a show, by the time you get home, you know, it's pretty late and you've got work the next day, and I could only do it one or two nights a week. So comedy's one of those things where if you don't grind and do it every single night, two, three shows a night, you know, they say that in comedy, it take like ten years to make it well the rate I was going it probably would have taken me twenty-five

so I would have been the world's oldest guy so I'll tell you like big jokes so I originally found you through bro bible how did you connect it with that and what role did that play with your whole journey uh... actually i started uh... i started writing on the web uh... originally wrote freelance for like ask men and uh... all those like men's lifestyle websites and then one job let do another and i became editor in chief of this other men's website that actually folded and then i was like out of work and i just

sent out a bunch of email to places in bro bible was uh... accepting of my stuff and then one thing let do another and they had an opening and i just sent out a bunch of email to places and bro bible was uh... accepting of my stuff and then one thing that do another and that opening and i ended up there i would if i had to think of one of the most difficult jobs in the world i would think it would be a comedian no joke i mean you're standing up there and your job is the you know that people are looking at you like make me laugh

that's got to be incredibly incredibly difficult especially today with all the political correctness shit. How do you deal with that? Yeah, you know, it's not really so much to that, because when people go to a comedy show for the most part, they kind of let go of that a little bit. I mean, if you're still going to a comedy show and you're getting offended,

you're either looking to be offended or you just didn't realize what you were getting into. That's so true. I think the hardest part about comedy, like what I found to be the most difficult is, so in the beginning, you're grinding and you're doing open mics and stuff, and I guess the best way to relate to it is, imagine you just started working out for the first time, and within the first two weeks, you had to enter up like a bodybuilding competition so you're gonna get your door blown off so with the comedy like you're doing

these open likes and you're in a room of twenty people and it's twenty other stand-up comics who've all been doing it anywhere from you know a month to like five years they're not gonna laugh they're not gonna you know because they're either like thinking of their material in their head or they're just not even there or they're waiting to get done to go to another show.

So basically you don't even really know if your stuff is working because you're doing it to a room of other people who probably aren't going to laugh anyway. So it's really tough. So that's what I always down the hardest. Like you know, it's a lot of work for being up there for literally five minutes and not even sure if it's they have this up You're doing is working or not so Chris you have to tell me because I'm actually a little listening to you talk right now I was actually expecting more of an asshole. I'm a little bit disappointed that you sound like a nice guy

Nice. Yeah, you're not the first person to say that but I always say say this. Well, every person that doesn't write murder mysteries, they don't actually kill people. So I'm not actually, because every time I do interviews, they're like, wow, we really thought you were going to be an asshole. I think if I was an asshole, I wouldn't have written the book, or it would be a completely different tone. It's more of like, these are the assholes that I've encountered over my life, so let me explain how I dealt with them. It's more of like these are the assholes that I've encountered over my life. So let me explain how I dealt with them is more of it. I mean, I could be

actually. I totally connected with it. That's why I was like, dude, this guy fucking knows me. We have to get him on the show right now. I'm totally, I'm listening to you talking. I'm like, dude, he's way too fucking nice right now. He doesn't sound like an asshole at all. Yeah. Well, part of it too, like a lot, when the first, when the book first came out, a lot of people like what email me and go, I don't know why I was. Well part of it too, when the book first came out, a lot of people would email me and go, I don't know why I was in the humor section. It should be in the self-help section. Because it helped me and I'm like,

do wherever you bought it, I don't care. Whatever part of the book is there you've found it in, I'm cool with. So. Well, I think assholes make the world go around. So honestly, God, I think we need them in the world. When everybody acts too nice, it's just, it's like, come on, man. Well, I love how need we need them in the world uh... when everybody acts to nice is just c'mon man well i just look i love how you he breaks it down in the book to i

just think it's not as simple as you know just you're just an asshole i mean there there there i feel like there's a little more to it what what inspired you to write that word it where did that come from well actually what happened with the first book um... there was three quote-unquote authors on it but i'll get to that in a minute so what happened was the other two guys who are on the cover on they actually pitched a different book

to the publisher and the publisher wasn't really into what they were you know trying to sell so they're like what we have this other idea that we thought maybe you guys would be interested because they were actually both from california they did acting, they're like acting coaches. So the publisher had the idea of being an asshole, a book about it, and they gave it to you guys and they sent back the manuscript and the publisher really, it wasn't what they were looking for, but they were already so deep in the process that they couldn't like kill the book. so actually the guy who's in charge of it

you know did a web search and actually found my original stuff and i think one of the first articles that kind of like turned them on to my writing was uh... like years back i wrote this thing with the argument against yoga and why men shouldn't do yoga and it had nothing to do with the actual like health part of it it just to look like a douche doing it so that kind of and you know what at the time and rest of the now i really had

nothing personally you'll go but i used to always get the assignments where they're like all crystal probably right something like the you know jerkish about it you know like i just knew how to write in that tone this is so i'm talking like internet two thousand six where not everything was like someone trying to troll or be a jerk about something like to read an article against something was a little bit more rare.

So they found my stuff and then they were like you want to be a ghost writer, I said sure and I ended up like rewriting a whole book and they're like well they got to put you on the cover and then it kind of took off from there. So for our audience and our listeners, the book we're talking about right now is Assology. I want you to kind of talk about all the books that you've done because you've done quite a few and you didn't get a chance. I try to search around and find which was the best seller for you, which you've got the most notoriety for.

What would you say has been your top seller or either that or the book that you're most proud of? Well, the top seller has definitely been the first astrology book because it was one of the first of its time or its kind, I should say. Another reason it did really well is, you know the guy from the Twilight movies, Tellum Luff. Okay, yeah.

He was like one of the bigger vampire dudes, well, like when the book first came out, like a month afterwards, he was spotted in a tree reading it and like a ton afterwards he was spotted in a tree reading it and like a ton of pop rotsie took pictures and it was in like us weekly and all you need is a celebrity to be holding your book right placement that's crazy yet and that kind of like me to take off

uh... so that's been the best seller the one i'm most proud of i probably say the second one the cheat, because that was me by myself. And it was kind of, the first one is, the first book is kind of like the why of the why you'd want to be an asshole. The second one is kind of like the how, the how to pull it off. And at the time, I was just kind of like, I was really deep in my own head.

And I just came up with some crazy scenarios. And so that was probably the one I'm most proud of. And I mean, I'm proud of everything I've written, but I would say the second one of the assholeology is probably up there. So what's it like writing for BroBile? Do you interact with a lot of those guys? I mean, tell me that whole scenario. I've been a fan of BroBile for a long time and someone like you who writes for them.

Do you interact with everybody else? Is that all done online? How does that work? We used to all be in New York. We always used to be in an office. And then we all kind of branched out because the way the company was moving, they wanted us to branch out. So one guy moved back to home of Florida, one of the girls moved to back to Maryland.

I was in New Jersey so they just told me to stay home. So we kind of like, we started in the office, then we branched out. A couple of guys are still in there. But we constantly talk all day on the Slack, the chat thing. And some of the stuff we say in there is The stuff I wish could go online Because we kind of really get into like if we put an article up and we like really say the stuff that we want to say But sometimes you can't really do that

Yeah, I kind of like interacting that way It's a chat. Well comedians. I mean to make a comedian laugh this true? Comedians probably have like the darkest sense of humor. Is that true? Yeah, I've heard some stuff like doing an open mic. I mean, the great thing about open mic is you can just go up there and you can work out your stuff and say whatever you want. And yeah, you don't have a receptive crowd, but at least you can hear yourself saying it on a mic.

Like I've heard some things where i'm like i can't believe that guy just said that on an open mic or phone in front of thirty people because and it's not even like it's that i can't imagine where the joke is going to be in there it's like so offensive you just like okay that guy just had to get that out of his mouth and because it's like wow wow and then you worry about the guy you like wow

but yeah like i mean can you enter someone will screw up people in the world i mean to get up there like you like you guys had before like to get up there and your whole soul purpose is to make a loop of strangers laugh it's really a demended kind of like fall process that you think yourself i'm going to say on this stage and i i'm gonna make it you the laugh or at least like me

it's really twisted way to think about that what's that uh... well she can believe i forgot his name right now what's the dad's name from full house that he's a comedian about that blew my fucking mind so i watched i grew up watching full house and then i watch some documentary is called the risk of rats i remember but there they're telling the same joke and they're really getting twisted and demented.

And he fuck it. Some of the shit he said, apparently he's like one of the worst like comics out there. He's a filthy bitch. And I find that hilarious. Yeah. You know what's funny? I've always thought about that because I remember when I was a kid that there was something like, I want to say like, national choir, tabloid kind of thing on the cover where like they did go over some of his material

that he was a comic that worked kind of like it's called working blue when you're like kind of like a little dirty and I wonder if that would have went over well like if it was a TV show today aimed at kids and this guy is like a filthy comedian like I wonder if it would have worked now. No, I don't I don't think so not with the web because it would have been exposed more right? I feel like that Disney would have felt the pressure to take them off the show and you know that's what I feel the same way because I feel like Back then I could most all of us. I'm sure if we're in Earth mid-30s or more We probably went at one point watched watched full house. And I had the same, I had the same situation too, where I watched it forever. I had no idea that he

was like that. And the first time, because you know, he did the other show too. Remember the, uh, he did the, the home videos. He did America's home videos. He did so whole stuff. Yeah. He had these wholesome shows. And then you watch his first standup. And I don't think the one thing that came out of his mouth that wasn't a swear word or vulgar and you're like, holy shit. This guy is a fucking maniac, I love him. But you would have never, you would have never pictured that with full house going. And yet, I'm sure that's how he started his career was standing up and, and doing comedy like that, but he was casted a total different way.

And in nowadays, with the way things go viral and Twitter's and social media and stuff, I'm, I think that would get exposed and we'd be put out there too much for him to be able to do that. I would think that would be my guess. I don't know, man. Today, college, college students get offended for everything. I forgot, there was a couple of comedians that were like, we're not gonna do colleges anymore,

fuck them, they keep, you know, people get offended with everything we say. Say what? Say what? Jerry Seinsel was one of us. Oh, was he? Have you ever done a college? I have not done a college yet i've done college crowds but i never done anything

like on a college why are they such pussy's now what's going on here you know i i i don't know i just feel like you know it's funny because i i want to do this thing i i never ended up writing an article about it but i did this thing where i i did a call out on bro bible for people like it was like i want to get like a snapshot of the college experience today

because i and i graduated uh... fifteen years ago sixteen years ago on a lot of change and then i mean you kind of you had cell phones we didn't use them to lay did you kind of had my space and stuff like that, but you didn't use everything the way you do now. So I kind of put a call out like what college like today. Like tell me everything that I need to know if I'll probably go to college tomorrow.

And I remember more than a few emails that I got back. People were like, honestly, I'm scared shitless to do anything. Like, if you go to a party and you're kind of drunk and you start talking to a girl, like you're afraid that if you go back to the room, like, you're going to do nothing, but she's going to call out something that you did and then you're going to look like you're a sexual offender. I'm afraid to like drink a little bit too much because if I get blessed and do something dumb, it's all over the internet.

So it's like kind of like this twenty four hour fear of doing something even when those are the years to like screw up and do something jesus i i read this one i don't remember what university was but they basically classified any sex under the influence of alcohol was considered uh... like it was against the law of the of the college

campus that's like sex Who the fuck has sober sex in college remember the member when Joe Rogan had that girl Had the Corona show we all listen to is one of the very first things that first Joe Rogan's I listened to with you guys and she talked about What they were doing on college campuses were girls were able just to say they were going around taking surveys that if If you had ever been raped and the way they would lead it. But the way they would word it was, the way they worded it was a very misleading. Well, it's like, have you ever, as a guy ever, made you feel uncomfortable?

And so they counted that all as sexual assault. Yeah, but that's a scary. Super scary. It's super scary to me that college is, well, you know, we'll make comedians feel, especially a comedian like Seinfeld, feel like he shouldn't go to perform. College is used to be where shit gets, was said. That was where you went and that's where the shit hit the fan. It wasn't like, that wasn't like, it wasn't like a daycare like it is now.

It seems that way at least. I don't know. I never went to college. So you better try that raw. Great, Chris, do you intentionally take like opposing views or do you enjoy riding that way? Is that kind of how you are or how does that lay out? Do you see the business side of it and you know that's smarter for you to do business?

What goes into the thought process with that? You know, I used to until, like, if you do anything long enough, you kind of like get thick of it. But I used to kind of enjoy that to get a ride out of people and kind of like it's sick of it but i i i used to kind of enjoy that like to get it kind of get a ride at people and kind of like work up a little bit but now i feel like that's all the internet is it's just people getting offended being offended offended people and it's kind of like

or even that just kind of getting old right you you read an article on within a paragraph you know okay this guy is one hundred percent doing this just a fuck of people ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha course you work on it. Oh yeah, unfortunately. You got it. You got it. I mean, that's gotta be just a hotbed of just comic material right there. I actually worked in a gym.

I was a trainer and a manager of a gym. Yeah, that in here. No way. Yeah, I was. So you managed a health club like you were in charge of the sales and all that stuff? Yeah, you know what, it was small. It was kind of like I ended up being the manager

because I was the only person that they could trust to like Show up and not to deal things and I sort of got I swear Like I was the only person they could trust it and not to deal things not to show up on time Did not do anything stupid to like jeopardize their business. It was a smaller club. I would say at the peak of their you know their best year they might have had maybe 400 members, 450 members. It wasn't that huge, it was big enough, but yeah, but I was a trainer and a manager. Yeah, there's no assholes and jams. Oh, no, not at all.

How long did you do that, Chris? How long did you do that for? I would say maybe about a year and a half or so. Yeah. Is that all, was that your entire fitness career too, or did you dabble in personal training other places and do stuff besides that? I did personal training on the side for a little while, and then it was just kind of like, okay, I need to go out and maybe get, it's not legit, but like, I needed a, I was like, you're talking about free personal trainers. knowledge it but like it needed it needed a as i was like it's like a mario it's i prefer it's like a free personal trainer

that that that that that you know what you know the real job it was that i was at the point of my life where i couldn't like i couldn't bank on people showing up all the time to pay me the fifty hundred bucks to like to train like you know yeah the town i was working in it was like kind of flighte or the people were like you know to have a son and it kind of so like you'd have like three clients lined up and all of them would bail on you and then you know you're out a couple hundred bucks for the day that you were like banking on so you decided you decided to go the more conservative consistent

round and do comment you know I was gonna say I was a training is already yeah yeah last safer bet I was a training is already that 80-20 rule we say we're around to comment i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i think i top three percent make money the rest kind of do okay and then there's other people who just do it you know after their nine to five job that they hate. So I've been I had a I opened up one of the first cannabis clubs, medical marijuana clubs in the Bay area about four years ago and across the street was a comedy club, San Jose Improv and I got to know the GM and owner really well became good friends. I was actually in a comedy club probably three nights

out of the week for a couple of years there. I love comedy. And it's definitely a different breed. Listening to you talk right now, you don't even sound like one of them to me. And I feel like I've been around literally hundreds. And there was very routine for most of them to come over to my cannabis club and get high

smoke and then they go into their thing. And they just, personalities seem very aloof and, you know, they, you sound different, just talking to you. You don't sound like a normal community. Do you get that a lot when you, when you meet people? You know what? I, I have gotten, okay. So this one guy that I, that kind of like, he was running like a couple shows here there,

like he was like building a comedy business. He had done stand-up for like 30 years or so, and then like he was, he was hosting all these open mics around the city, and I was like helping him out doing like social media, and he told me like flat out, he was like, well first of all you're too good looking, you're too normal to do comedy people are going to hate you the minute you walk on the stage and i was like okay and it kind of blew me away but i kind of understood it

because i don't know like you feel like if you walk on stage and people already assumed don't like you they're not gonna laugh no matter what you say and then i started thinking about it and the more i did it with other people i found a way to find normal things funny or like things happen my life funny

but like the people that are truly the best at it their lives are completely fucked up that's really fine the funny and sometimes i'm like maybe my life isn't fucked up in the that it is some crazy you have made me to pick up some drugs i need to get some drug habits you have it that i need to like admit some things are good to hide your stuff that maybe i'm

like hiding some shit i don't know we had it through like there's some really demanded people what what's the biggest uh... or the most epic fail you've seen done by uh... somebody you've worked with in comedy in general i mean you probably you're probably around a lot of different she liked that so what's

what's been the most epic fail or you just like oh fuck trying to think um... i there is one guy that went up there and i i thank god don't remember his whole routine but i do remember the words playground rate it's like like you've never heard a crowd like it was it was not only dead silent but it was dark and i just felt like everyone's face looked exactly like mine

like what the fuck did you say it was like really really so started to deliver I'm starting to have to act tomorrow. Yeah, you know what I don't even remember because here's the thing and I always say this about comedy but I always feel like no topic is off limits as long as you make me laugh. There's a joke to it that's fine but if you're saying it just for the shock of saying it, it's obviously not funny. So, like, if his jokes were good enough that I remembered the punchlines, then, okay, I get it.

But, like, when you're just sitting there and you're just like, when you can't wait for it to be over because you feel uncomfortable for the guy, you feel uncomfortable for yourself because you're listening to this guy, and you're just like, you know, so that kind of, that right there and you know what's funny is for that guy, there's like seven other guys that are exactly the same way. It's not like this is one rare guy, like I've seen many. Oh no, I've had that happen. Being like I said, I've been in there three times a week. I remember like so many times talking to my buddies, you know, like, God,, like I've seen many. Oh no, I've had that happen. Being like I said, I've been in there three times a week,

I remember like so many times talking to my buddies, you know, like, God, dude, I felt so bad for that dude. I just wanted him to get down because it's just that constant, every time they throw a punchline and nobody is laughing, it just, I feel so awkward. It's got even 10 times more awkward for the dudes that come fully owned what it is you're talking about, right? It's like everybody's like

all into what you're saying and so if you just say something that's a little bit off you just gotta eat it right and those are the guys that never go away like that guy will go do it five nights a week you won't get any fun here but we're doing it like that wait there's a people where you see them and you're like all my like there was this uh... those are those friends with and she still does it occasionally but she was a comic and she was hilarious

and i'm just like god i hope she keeps doing it because she's funny now but she really works on it she's going to really be something and but then like just the grind of it just get to you and she doesn't do it as much now but the guy told me awful jokes there's like for him there's nothing else life there's nothing else and she's like oh she kind of had a podcast going

and then she did some writing for some shows and she kind of took off in that way but the other the the guy telling the like playground rape jokes there's nothing else that's kind of fun and then it's going and telling offensive jokes and that's all they've got. So what do you say you enjoy more of writing or actually getting out in front of people and doing your stand-up comedy? Which one do you prefer?

Definitely doing the stand-up. is good but you know you write something and you put it out there and you can't like I can't hear somebody in like Idaho laugh. I put a bit out there but like when you go out and you actually hear a room full of people let like one of my best experiences and it's gonna sound like the worst experience but it was probably one of the best. So like I said before I couldn't find, I couldn't go to New York all of a sudden so I was trying to work on myself around here. So I would just go to like any open mic in my area. The problem is like a lot of the open mics around here are mostly music. It's like music and maybe one or two like poetry readings but like no stand-up comics.

So you ever do a hybrid of all the three? That didn't. Just a fuck with him. Do a little hybrid of all the hybrid and little scene. Oh yeah, they don't know it. A little magician thing and then a joke. Well, so they have all these those kind of little mics. So I called up this one bar that was in like this like

the C-Dearport town. And they're like, yeah, we have a comic going down. So I caught up with this one bar that was in like this like the C-Dier bar and they're like, hey we have a comic going down. So I go down there. There's probably like, 30 people in the bar and it's one of those bars where so you walk in and on the right is like an open table area which looks onto the stage and then pushed against the side is the bar which kind of runs the length of the room. So there's probably like ten people sitting in seats and then the bar is like full, all kind of like half-facing the stage, half-facing each other. So they do like about an hour of music where everyone just jams and stuff, sometimes they're sitting there drinking beers, you know, like hanging out. out so i got you and now we have a comedian

and like whole place like kind of like turned around stairs and walk on the stage i go in and i'm like i don't even made you know ten seconds into my routine it felt like it probably wasn't all it wants but it felt like all it wants everybody at the bar just turn their back to me

what went the other way and look at the way the crowd paid no attention there was one dude up front watching and laughing and i don't know if he was laughing make me feel better or like genuinely laughing so long story short i do ten minutes guy comes back up the day thanks man that was great and went back to my back to jamming on rafael twenty minutes and i left that night was more exhilarating than anything else really because you're

kind of like you know what fuck those people i'm gonna go back there one more time and i'm gonna make a blaster they want to or not not care if they want to hear commoner not going to do it again so it's just kind of one of the things where that high you don't care if they want to hear a comma, you're not gonna do it again. So it's just kind of one of the things where that high, you don't get that from writing. Oh, right. You look at writing and you're kind of like,

oh, that was pretty good. And then you enjoy it for a minute. And then you're like, oh God, the rest of my stuff is good. Well, that's, you can actually watch people, you can win them over in a sense. Well, it sounds like you have a little bit of a competitive spirit to you. That's what that sound, I mean, that's kind of how

I feel about stuff too, when I fail at something, I'm just like all it doesn't piss me off i just i look at it as a challenge like okay mother fucker i get i'll get you next time i'm type of deal so do you are you and i think that you did you play sports growing up that's it sounds like you know i played the baseball i ran some track i just kind of like i don't know i i feel like i know when i'm right. And if I thought I wasn't funny, I would stop.

Like, it was one of the things where I tried it once or twice, but I've been up there and I know I'm funny. Like, I did one show. It was like a weirdest experience because it just kind of like happened. A guy reached out on Facebook. He's like, hey, I saw it. Why don't you read your clips online. We do this show.

It was in New York. We can give you like five or six minutes we like to like have new people come on would you like to do it i'll be sure you like to bring one or two friends there's no like it's no bringer thing which is bring one or two people so that okay so i brought you friends down the place was like packed uh... i did the show there was eight of us um...

of the eight the other seven people have all gone on to do in faintings like one guy was like the second i left on last comment standing the next guy was like uh... you know he's writing on a tv show it was like all the people on to do in faintings at least i had that one thing that i could say that i did that but that at that night i was like you know what? I can kind of hang with these guys.

Like I got a couple laughs. You know, I, my stuff did well. I didn't, I wasn't as huge as them, but I still, at least made the audience laugh. I wasn't like a dead spot in the middle of the show. So it's like kind of one of the things where that, that competitiveness kind of has to be in there. I didn't get it this time, but I'm going to get you next time.

How long do you feel like you were really grinding away at your craft before it started to pay dividends for you? You know what? I was lucky where I can't they're they say you should really bomb you have to really bomb before you really can get into the economy i can't ever have besides of the bar thing i guess you can call that by i think that i think i never really had

that bad of an experience where i'm like i've never had that one experience where i'm like oh my god that was a worse night of my life i can't believe i've done that like from the beginning i kind of did okay and maybe that was my problem, maybe I should have bombed, and then I could have learned from that. So it wasn't that awful. There was never anything that made me go, oh man, I'm never doing that again. So at least, even if it was like a terrible night, I would at least get one or two solid, like a couple of laughs from the crowd. And it was just one of the things where you just look at it.

And my own fault, I started too late. I got started doing it when I was in my early 30s. When I really should have been doing it either in college or after college, that one had a ton of time on my hands and didn't care and were already poor so didn't matter. But it's just one of the things you just put off and put off until one day you're like, okay, I'm going to try this and then you're like, damn it, why didn't I do that 10 years

ago? Well, you have kids, right? Yeah, too. That's got to give you some material. Yeah, it did. I mean, being a dad is hilarious half the time. Yeah, you know what, it gives you material, but the hard part about that, at least for me, is like there's this fine line between making fun of parenting and making fun of them

and you try not to do the make fun of them part. So that part gets kind of rough, but yeah, there definitely a ton of material because kids just don't give a shit. That's a unique perspective. I've never really thought about that, right? And that's something that you have to take into consideration, right? but yeah, there definitely a ton of material because kids just don't give a shit. That's a unique perspective. I've never really thought about that, right? And that's something that you have to take into consideration, right? You don't want to get up there and demolish your family and make them feel like shit.

At the same time, too, there's hilarious material that I'm sure you get. That's definitely a fine line to get a probably dancer. Yeah. Like, I'll make one of myself. You know, all I want, but I don't, I don't want my kids, because they didn't ask for it. You know, they didn't have to be pulled into now sometimes like it drives me crazy when i see people like the makeup that like instagram accounts for their kids are like start twitter accounts and it's like he didn't ask for that when you

write doing people squat people squat on like twitter names for their kids i think the twitter is going to be around when your kids hold them up the care that's funny i didn't even think about that people do that. Yeah, oh yeah That's where you get a lot of weirdos on the internet anyway. Why are you posting all kinds of I don't know It's just yeah, but don't you find that's even create to squat on a name just so your kid has his Instagram These are the same parents that use leashes. Yeah, yeah, you're right, dude Those are the same fucking parents stuff. You got to fucking leash on your kid too Well, hey, hey Chris before we sign off here you want to plug some of your some of your

stuff for our audience where they can find you and check out yourself sure the easiest place to find everything is just my website it's Chris womanoddy dot com and i'll spell that out and it's ph r i s i l l u m i n a t i dot com and i'll put it out there it's my real name i did not make it up to get it's not i get that question all the time uh... it's legit it's not a pen name it's my family name i'm not part of the alumni you're not a lizard person now i would have been kicked out if my took it you don't like to be bobby

kooklok's clan running around you don't take the name You don't see the name of the secret society if you're in a secret society Yeah, so it's not it's my legit last name so that's where you find No, we don't all right brothers been a pleasure talking to you all right. Thanks guys. Take it easy Thank you for listening to mine pump if your goal is to build and shape your body Thank you for listening to Mind Pump. If your goal is to build and shape your body, dramatically improve your health and energy, and maximize your overall performance, check out our discounted RGB Superbundle at Mind Pump Media.com. The RGB Superbundle includes maps and a ballad, maps performance, and maps aesthetic. Nine months of phased expert exercise programming designed by Sal, Adam and Justin to systematically transform the way your body looks, feels and performs.

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