Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 326: Adam's Golden Shower & Other Mind Pump Tales
Episode Date: July 11, 2016The Mind Pump vacation is about to end and it is about damn time! Today's episode comes from the Mind Pump vault. Be prepared for some big laughs as Sal, Adam & Justin regale you with random stories. ...Get MAPS Anabolic, MAPS Performance, MAPS Aesthetic and the Butt Builder Blueprint (The RGB Super Bundle) packaged together at a substantial DISCOUNT at www.mindpumpmedia.com. Please subscribe, rate and review this show! Each week our favorite reviewers are announced on the show and sent Mind Pump T-shirts!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go.
Mite, op, mite, op with your hosts.
Salda Stefano, Adam Schaefer, and Justin Andrews.
You guys watch that show, Silicon Valley.
Yeah, I've seen a couple of them.
Oh my God, it's funny.
So the latest one with the tall, nerdy guy who does does all their organ organizing and finance and like business and all
They're all like trying to hook up with girls and he's the one that's like, oh, yeah
Maybe I should start dating again, and then all of a sudden
He's just like tying his tie over the door and hov and he's like bringing all these girls in and out
They're like, what the hell man?
Where that come from that's duck
So I'm getting at.
Doug's gonna slay that pussy.
Yes, it's gonna be like,
you're gonna slay it.
He's gonna slay it.
I think we'll start getting it more.
So once we get to the fantasy factory mind pump academy,
I think that's when we will.
Do you guys think that Doug,
you guys want one of those, right?
We're all on the same page with that horse. Oh, but a fantasy factory. It's all the bells and whistle. Yeah, like that like that's but a mind pump gear to it would obviously we don't need to
We agree that we each say one. I don't we don't need to support driven stuff. Yes, you can have your arm wrestling thing
No, I was gonna say we totally yeah, we all get one request bro. We'll have an exercise arcade, right?
Well, that would be perfect in there
Oh, you like have that one punch the punch. Yeah, exactly. And it measures your. Yes.
Yes.
You will have cool.
Saddam will have dance dance revolution.
Yeah.
You know, he wants it.
What?
No, really, what's your request?
What would be your one request?
Besides dance dance revolution?
For reals, you would want that.
Are you good at that game?
No, I'm not.
Yeah, I couldn't imagine.
That was a joke.
Oh, it's a fuck is that paper?
Yeah.
That was heavy.
Have you seen them dance?
Big old ass. He's got all hands, dude.
He's on a roll with the insults with me.
He's been picking on my outfit.
You know what?
No, I was giving compliments on you.
This guy finally starts matching his socks
and also he thinks he's tucks shit to me every day now.
He's growing into his confidence.
It's all that abuse I got from you.
Off air, I'm throwing at you on air.
Nobody knows what's like. Nobody knows what it's like when we turn the mics off. Adam is the
biggest asshole. He makes fun of me all the time. Hey, I know. No, I'm just kidding. That's a joke.
I don't want to be serious about that because some people might actually think that's real. Yeah.
He's a very nice guy. We went through that. Remember the beginning of this, the show.
I know. The first time. Watch out. He'll get some more reviews. I did.
I just barely got over that.
Yeah, he sounds like an asshole.
Let's get him.
Take that, get him.
Mine, but we'll be so much better
with just just an in-sale.
And fact, I say Doug could probably take Adam's butt.
You know what?
Yeah.
Whatever.
Don't even joke like that.
Yeah, stop.
Don't even joke like that.
This is, this was formed as a, as a, as a three-sum on the mic.
Yeah. You know what I mean? four sum without the mic. You know,
I'm saying, yeah, you can't take it. Once you start it like that, you
can't take it away. You know, I'm saying, it's like you, it's like,
it's like you had a three sum with two hot chicks and you guys have
three sums all the time. It's great. And then you're like, I think I
just want to date you. That's why I never, that's fucked up. Every
tripod needs a stand. Well, and everybody has this. This is why
people always ask that would a tripod.
Yeah, but you know, it's a top tripod Top part of this is a good topic right here sometimes not everybody gets you know what I always get your humor
Not everybody gets you real it's like he did it post
Did you still post he did like two weeks ago on my the my book page?
Yeah, we're just talking about the two the two the two guys that were obviously dating and they have like a mullet and he's like,
they're like a rat tail.
And like, they just looked so uniquely hilarious to me.
He had lips one guy, and lipstick on.
Yeah, he was just like,
cutting each other.
Like, portrait.
It was like a glamour shot.
Like a glamour shot.
Yeah.
Come on, on the Mind Punt page.
I don't know.
Oh, I see it.
This one, I see it.
Right?
But it's Mind Punt right for us.
But, like, do you get it? And it's mine pup right for us, but
Like do you get it? And I like that a lot of people get it and like I told just like it again
I like my dude
People I know there's people that got that there feed like I do well
I like this guy not like this. Yeah, and then I start thinking like about filtering
You know like oh, no, that didn't work. Yeah, I thought it was hilarious, you know, like, oh no, that didn't work. I thought it was hilarious, you know.
You do have a weird sense of humor.
Yeah, it's definitely, it's definitely, you know,
I pick up on my people though.
You know, when I find my people, we're like, yeah!
We high five and do weird shit like that.
So do you guys have like a sense of humor
that you let out in public and a sense of humor
that you don't really let out too much of public?
Of course, because my true sense of humor
is fucking your dark.
You know what I'm saying?
That's what you guys have to say.
You are the darkest.
Yes.
And you know what?
You were the darkest by far.
He's got, yeah.
And that's the funny part is just.
I love it.
It's funny, but Justin's on front street
because he's the one running the Mind Pump page all the time.
So when his humor comes out and it's off like that,
which I love that disturbed side of him,
because I think I'm even more twisted and I think you're all the time. So when his humor comes out and it's off like that, which I love that that disturbed side of him. Cause I think I think I'm even more twisted
and I think you're way more fun.
Remember the one I tell you sometimes I'm like,
I feel fucking bad looking at it.
Right.
Yeah, exactly.
See, you're all like suppressed, I think.
You haven't like brought it out to the surface.
I'm like, I'm going straight for the, the cat noise
with the insertion of the pill on the butt.
You know, I'm just like, I'm going for it.
Yeah, that's, you know what it is?
It's the more, the more talkin' of,
bro, you love the talkin' of.
The more taboo something is, the funnier it is to me.
Yeah.
And I think it's, I don't know, I just novel to you.
I seek novelty and same thing with comedy.
Like if it shocks me, I'll probably laugh.
Well, I think this is why we all get each other's humor too,
because I think we do all appreciate that to that point too.
Or I like that too, because I can take something like that
that is totally taboo and be like, listen,
I'm not gonna get offended by that.
You shouldn't get offended by that.
You're the same, but I would never say it,
but we'll laugh at it.
I just like laughing at things that you're not supposed
to laugh at.
Or making jokes, like if you're in a room full of people
and you know, poor, you know, I don't know,
old guy falls down and hurts himself
and everybody's like, oh my god, is he okay?
And then you're checking he's okay.
And then like two seconds later,
make a joke about it.
Oh yeah.
That's a horrible thing to do, but it's hilarious.
Oh, like the funniest thing ever,
like it was the most, I'm laughing right now thinking about it.
Like, okay, so it was very somber.
Like somebody's family, like something happened,
some tragedy, whatever.
And then like, there's this group of guys,
there's a football team, they're all praying,
everybody's praying, you know, and like everything's great.
And then one guy, like in the back, just rips the loudest fart.
I heard my life, and it was so inappropriate.
Like at the time, you know, because it was just like,
so you just started laughing.
I said, I was dying laughing dude,
I felt so bad.
I felt like, I was like the worst person on the planet.
I couldn't help it dude.
But then you probably laughed hard or knowing
that you're at a like a horrible event.
And you shouldn't be laughing.
Yes.
And you're laughing.
That's what it's most funny though.
I can't let you know.
I can't help it. It's most funny when it's That's what it's most funny though. I could. Let's be honest.
It's most funny when it's like that.
But you know what though?
I feel like too, this is like a generation thing too.
What do you mean?
Like the generation now are so easily offended by things.
Oh, I can't be started.
I find this.
I find that it's almost trendy or cool to like find,
to pick that apart.
Like, oh, that's race. Oh, that's sexist. Oh, that's this like oh, that's race. Oh, that's sexist
Oh, that's this. Oh, it's that it's like oh, that's offensive like everybody is so quick now to just assume somebody is trying to be
Just
hurtful it doesn't have to there's there's there's it's okay to make a joke right but then there was the fine line
Where do we draw that? There's a delivery too, you know, so it's like people like want to
Yeah, like they'll have that reaction before even listening to the delivery
Well, I feel like it's gone too far when you have comedians like what was it was what comedians just recently had to pull off their college tour
I think Sin fell those one of them. Yeah, there was a there was like there was like four or five big names that that started to do it first
I think in fact
I believe they kind of band together with all of them and say listen
This is this is what's happening on college campuses,
is you've got big name people getting booed
because they have a racist joke inside their skid
or they have something that's sexist or they have whatever.
It's like, dude, it's comedy.
Like really?
It's really off the wall.
If we can't laugh at ourselves,
and who we are as humans,
but I think it's pretty sad.
And I think if we're always so concerned
about the other person, we're just trying to do
a bunch of pluses.
When I think into it, it challenges us socially.
Why, I don't know, if it's not funny,
you're too serious about it.
There's serious issues that you can poke fun of
in order to promote change.
That's how I look at it.
I love satire.
I love to point out massive issues going on, but throw some sarcastic humor behind it
in order to deliver it.
Hey, this is fucked up.
Let's think about this.
I think a lot of it's just the intention behind, if I'm going to send you guys a very horrible
meme, my intention isn't because I, like if I'm gonna send you guys a very horrible meme,
my intention isn't because I actually, you know,
I hate whatever I'm making fun of or whatever I'm laughing at,
it's that my intent is I hope you guys get shocked by it
and so then we laugh, but that's not my character.
I love it when women have that sense of humor
where they can go and just shock you with,
I had a client one time, she came in.
I'll never forget this gym was full of people.
She came in and she had kind of like a shiner, right,
under her eye.
So, my God.
Yes, so she likes it.
So I'm like, oh, what happened to your eye?
And she's like, oh, my husband hit me.
And like the whole gym was like, oh,
she's like, I'm just kidding.
And I was dying of laughter. That's a horrible thing to joke about. Obviously her husband didn't do like, oh, it's just like I'm just kidding. And I was dying of laughter.
There's a horrible thing to joke about.
Obviously her husband didn't do that,
but I love the fact that she could make that joke.
Oh no, I just did a joke with Katrina today
that I was sharing with somebody
that was part of our forum and they were saying,
like are you guys trying to have a kid over there?
I'm like, no, no, no, we practice birth control.
He's like, oh really?
I thought you guys weren't into that.
I thought he said she doesn't do that.
I'm like, no, no, no, just once a week,
I push her down the stairs.
Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm like, no, no, no, just once a week, I push her down the stairs. Oh my God. Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Jam bad.
Adam, it's one thing to say that we like those kind of jokes.
That was in the text for us.
And keeping it for ourselves.
It's another thing to put it on the podcast.
Now people know.
Now people know.
No, no, darkness.
You let a little bit of the darkness out.
I just wanted to know that as he, I'm worse than Justin.
And just so you guys know, Salis worse than me. Yeah. Well, that's why I'm of the darkness out. I just wanted to know that, I'm worse than Justin, and just so you guys know,
Sal is worse than me.
Well, that's why I'm probably the most vocalist.
I'm just like on the surface.
What's funny though,
what's funny too is I'm probably the most,
like I'm very aware of how to filter it
in certain surroundings,
whereas Adam will let his out a little bit sometime.
But that doesn't mean that I'm not I'm not thinking it. It gets horrible.
It gets really really bad.
I love it.
Huh?
I love it.
Yeah.
Far far more.
To me, Farts are always funny no matter what.
I if you can't admit that you have a problem.
Yeah.
I have.
It might be the good easy one, you know, low hanging fruit or whatnot.
Dude, it's still funny.
Clients that far is like my favorite.
That tends to be a highlight, you know what I mean?
Well, I'm sure you get it the most too.
I imagine you get it.
I'd say train the older people.
Yes.
He's got a lot of incontent.
They tend to have a harder time holding it in.
It depends.
Yeah, so I would think you'd probably deal with it.
Have you ever had like a normal, like a normal,
like a normal aged, like a middle aged or like a younger,
I know, like a middle aged or like a younger, like a middle aged
or younger, like woman, like bus ass while you're, like a cute one, the cute young girl.
Oh, that's, that would be, that would be the funniest thing I think ever.
Is that it?
Yeah.
That would actually make me a little uncomfortable.
If a hot, if a hot chick farted, I don't want to see that.
What?
You want to ruin it for you?
I kind of would ruin the mystique. Yeah, I kind of, I'm going to see that. What? You want to ruin it for you? I kind of would ruin the mystique.
Yeah, I can.
I've got to adjust that.
I don't want to see the trucker come out just yet.
You know what I mean?
No, I was training.
I was training a lady.
I'll never forget this.
And we were doing, what were we doing?
We were in the cage.
So you were squatting or deadlifting.
And it was empty.
It was like, I don't remember what time it was.
It was no one in the gym.
And it was, she was a cute younger girl. She was like early remember what time it was there was no one in the gym and it was she was a cute younger, you know, girl She was like early 20s attractive and we're sitting there and we're resting between sets and
Then she like walks off she's like oh, I have to get some water and she kind of walks around the corner and
It was sit there and I'm like and then it fucking smell hit me. Oh, yeah
Yeah, yeah, the smell was it sound. No, no sound. Oh, just to smell hit me and I was like
This and I know it wasn't me because I know it. Just the smell hit me and I was like,
and I know it wasn't me because I know it wasn't me, right?
So I'm like, this bitch.
Just like this.
You just blasted me.
This happens at least once every other week
at Orange Theory for me because I mean, that's,
I mean, like a box of food.
Yes, I'm in a small little room, right?
And the odds are, right?
There's 30 something people in each class.
Some of them in a farm.
You teach four classes in a row.
It's like sitting on an airplane,
we take a lot of them.
And you're asking to do intervals.
So they're in a vault training,
you know, they're going from a slow pace,
to a slow bicycle bicycle.
So, and it's always the worst, bro.
When I'm, so they have the treadmills
and you have these rowers, right?
And then I can have them both going on there.
So it's just like, and then I have this narrow walkway.
It's literally only about two and a half, three feet wide
that I walk down between them.
And while I'm doing that, my headphones are on music's
blasting and I'm coaching yelling at them,
whatever that to go faster, whatever, move their incline.
And while I'm like coaching and I'm walking at the same time,
when I walk behind the motherfucker who just this crop tested, you know?
And I get it right in my mouth when I'm stuck.
Who can't really go in the middle?
Yeah, so many times I've been so close to just calling it out on the loudspeaker video.
Yeah, keep the masses puckered up.
Call those sons of bitches.
I had a lady, peer self working out.
Now that we're on the subject, yeah.
Would she do in jump and jack?
No, we were, I think we were squatting and I don't think she kind of noticed it because it was it like a
It was like a like you see the little before huh? Yeah, that's actually more common than you think I've had a lot of clients
I like with that or after that I gave him a pass yeah, I'm making fun
I'm just saying your 50 plus you've had multiple kids like that like the plumbing isn't the same down there and sometimes jumping jacks and
Jump boxes do that.
That's a note to my trainers that are listening right now.
That if you do, you have it.
Being in all that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They let out a little dribble.
But sometimes it's more than that.
But I know it's just, I don't even think she noticed because it just, you could just
see a little bit.
It's like, what do you do?
I don't know if I would wreck, I would say because I, no, how do you know she doesn't
have this big bush down there and she's sweating
It cuz it happened right before my what a visual you just have where she was naked. No, no, no
What kind of training you doing yeah, we were doing make it
You're not you naked yo, let me give you a spot
No, I know she had yoga pants on or whatever and she was squat, and then I was watching her form, and I was watching her hips,
and then you were watching her vagina.
I was watching her vagina.
And then you could see,
and then like you saw, like,
he's to the other.
He saw her show.
I was waiting for him to say,
okay, we're watching your squat.
That's not where the vagina sweats.
And then I watched her do.
At one point, we're watching the vagina,
and at this point, you watched her pee,
is what you're saying.
So you literally watched your pee.
But it wasn't on purpose, it was an accident.
The peeing or you watching.
Watching the pee.
It wasn't like we planned it.
You know what I mean?
It was like, they couldn't turn away.
I wasn't like, hey, do you like doing something we are?
There's some things happening.
There's some things happening.
No, no, no, no, she was doing the squat
and as she was coming up, it's like,
you, it just popped up there.
You and I didn't say anything.
Yeah, I don't think I would Yeah, I don't think I would.
I don't think you could.
I don't think you can.
Hey, look, one of the social situations,
men aren't perfect.
We get the post-P dribbles.
Oh, hey.
You know what I'm saying?
That's where you gotta keep shaking it.
You got it.
If you don't, man, you can keep shaking sometimes.
Shake it, keep shaking sometimes.
I don't know what I'm talking about.
Just bust the frickin' porcelain.
Oh, you're doing what that mean that you post this?
Smash the most shit.
We're going all over the place today.
Let's do it.
And we don't care.
I think we're gonna bolt this episode, Doug.
No, I think we save it.
I feel like we just needed a stretch.
I feel like we had, we had gone through a string of like fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness,
fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness,
fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness,
fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness,, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness,, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, So we're gonna talk about nothing.
We're gonna have a side-and-fill episode.
The episode about nothing.
There's some things that are important to us
that we brought up.
I think there's stuff to learn about.
Being farting when you were in the...
No, no, no, sorry.
When I mentioned the whole generation gap of humor
and understanding that,
I think we're heading in a...
I think we went from a really bad place
to a much better place to now and extreme.
I just thought of one of the worst things I ever left at.
There's a video of this guy,
I can't even believe I'm admitting this,
but you guys are laughing here.
There's a video of this guy giving a speech
and he has a stroke while he's giving the speech.
Oh my God.
Yeah, it's fucked up, but some,
but some, what's the music to it?
So, see, that is dark, bro. Yeah, it's fucked up, but someone but someone but some music to it
See that is dark, bro
So dark dude, and so worse than what I said It's so fucked up. I don't know who the guy is. I hope he's okay. I mean, that's that's why I can laugh
I don't know but this
He comes right back
I got weird for a second someone put music to it and it was the it's fucked up dude. Yeah, no shit
I feel so bad laughing
Yeah, cuz you shared that was it cuz your picture yet. How could you get on what I just said?
I don't even know what I said forgot what I said
I'm pushing your own girlfriend down the stairs
That's a lot worse that is not what you beat him on if you guys see the boat the boat video where they're liking a speedboat
And it's got that like build up to that song It's a lot worse. That is not worse. You beat him on. Have you guys seen the boat, the boat video where they're liking a speed boat?
And it's got that like build up to that song.
Turned down for what?
That one song?
And it's showing them in the boat.
And then all of a sudden they hit a fucking wave.
And the music hits at the same time.
And these people fucking bl-
Like they hit the deck because the boat
must have hit a crazy wave.
And you know every single one of them got super injured.
But it's the funny speed.
Because the music goes to it and they're like, blah, and they hit the ground and they keep replaying it. Yeah, well, I believe there's
There's everybody hates me. There's a lot. There's a lot that we can't show that right? There's their law about about what like it like
The person that people are always okay, right? Like all your TV shows are like what? You don't know like they don't show
There's a law you can't post a video if someone gets her face is there no, no, I think it'll get pulled down
I believe that's like any broadcasting.
So you two would have to pull it down
if you showed, if you killed somebody
and you fucking showed it or somebody had a stroke
on stage and they died from the stroke.
If they lived and they were okay and everything was fine,
like they leave it up.
But if they end up dying from something like that,
stuff like that gets pulled up, right?
Am I ducking?
This sounds like producer time stuff.
I'm pretty sure I could find,
I'm just bullshitting people dying on the internet easily.
Yeah, but short live though, right?
I don't think it'll be up there longer
than maybe that.
Maybe not on YouTube,
but dude, you could find anything on the internet.
That's a freaking black hole.
I'm not saying, yeah, or you can't,
you can't, or I'm talking about broadcasting systems.
So YouTube, like ABC, NBC,
any sort of news channel.
I don't think there's any laws governing, especially the internet, but I think YouTube is
a matter of damn, and I wish we had a producer for this right now. He's gone. He's on it.
He's on it right now. Poor dark today. He's been a bad day for dark. Yeah. Let's talk about
getting him laid again. Ooh, we should. Let's let's talk about health. Fucked up. That
is it sounds like he needs help. He doesn't need help. He does it. I said he just like
everybody has the idea to get laid in and boom.
Everybody seems to want to fuck Justin first, then Doug,
then me then, then Sal last.
Yeah, I'm last.
Cause there's still a mystery.
I'm not last.
There's no last.
You're taking me about me.
I put you, but I put you.
There's certain categories of people
that that that tend to say things to me, right?
You guys have noticed?
Yeah, yeah.
The categories of people.
Yeah, the teenagers to the world.
No, Paul.
God, 25 year old.
Steadiest.
We're never gonna air this episode.
At least.
No.
Well, I don't know.
I don't think it's against the law.
Doug's looking for it.
I think it is.
I think if Doug had a guess, what would you guess, Doug?
If you had a guess, your producer educated guess.
My guess is YouTube might pull that down.
But not because there's a law.
No, I don't think there's a law.
I just think they might keep things going.
It's bad taste.
Yeah.
Really, because I think they would give them tons more views.
So then it would be smart for them to leave it.
They would have backlash.
They would have a lot of backlash.
Here's what it is.
YouTube would get a lot,
that video would get a shit ton of views,
but advertisers would pull.
That's a good point.
So, and YouTube makes a lot of money through advertisement.
You know what I'm saying?
So you cannot post your video of you.
Killin' that pussy, Adam.
Cause they'll pull that.
God.
We gotta keep it alive.
We gotta keep it alive.
All resuscitated.
We gotta keep it going.
This way nobody likes me, bro.
You make me into an asshole.
Huh?
You make me into an asshole. It? I'm gonna do an asshole.
It's natural.
All right, well, I think we gotta keep going here.
I'd like one of you guys to come up with a subject
to talk about now.
Is that even possible?
Is this life support?
What?
Life support.
No, we gotta keep going.
This episode's too short.
You guys gotta come up with some shit right now.
Come on, man.
Ready?
First thing in your mind, pops in your mind pops your mind ready. Say go Justin
Bicycles so so what's what if you if you had if you had five grand to spend on a bike
What kind of bike would you get? Oh, I get one of those cool trek ones
I
Know it's like a five thousand dollar bike. I could spend I could easily spend five grand
I knew I'd stump you guys. So what would you get to get the cruiser?
Yeah, it's cruiser bike.
I like one speed.
Really? That's all I like.
One speed.
You don't even smoke up a tree.
You don't even smoke up a tree.
You only get one speed, and you just
try to try really hard to get up a hill.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I think I'd want the bike with the disc brakes.
Yeah. You know what I mean?
And disc brakes, okay, cool.
All right, first thing to pop in your mind right now,
you go, Adam, go.
Elephants.
What?
I don't know how to kill first thing.
My sister just got a tattoo of an elephant under shoulder.
Oh, did she?
Cause she never forgets.
Probably.
Is that what it is?
Well, no, that's what elephants.
They have, that's what makes sense.
That makes sense.
Yeah. They actually symbolize a mix. So that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah.
They stay they they actually symbolize like strength
and something else.
I forget what else.
I think strength and loyalty and something else.
Look at it.
We had a producer.
You could look at something else.
Something else.
Yeah.
Oh, you never mind the movie.
I just watched a nice guys create movie.
Is it really?
Yeah, yeah, give me a movie.
I watched what was that one shit? I forgot the name of it. It's the one where they live next to the sorority. Oh
neighbors neighbors two you forgot the name second one neighbors two
They they the first one was hilarious the second one they tried way too hard. Oh, yeah, I'm sure I hate that comedy
Happen that almost hard. Yeah, he can't do a sequel of a comedy.
That's like impossible.
To do a sequel with anything.
True.
I mean, and let's be honest, the ones that do
end up being like epic classics, right?
Like the Godfather's and your rockers.
Yeah, because part two of the Godfather was awesome.
Well, you know what that is?
It's just a longer story.
Like it's more epic.
Like you have to have a super epic story
to be able to draw it out.
For exactly versus these comedies are like,
oh, it killed it in the box office.
Let's do another one.
Yeah, exactly.
It's all just money driven.
Hangover five.
I felt the same way about the hangovers.
Like the very first hangover was awesome.
The first one was brilliant.
It was genius.
It was hilarious.
Did you guys find yourself totally relating to them?
Like, oh, fuck.
This is kind of how I go.
That's why I was so awesome.
It's up not as experienced. Yeah. That's what was so awesome was that I think the Thailand one but yeah.
They pointed out all those things and I think everybody could relate and connect to
and thought it was hilarious but then you did it again and then it again. What is it?
It's three right now right? Yeah, it's three four. Yeah. Did I ever tell you guys about the time
I went to Vegas and didn't even get a hotel room? Did I tell you about this? We landed. Such an awesome.
We landed like 9 p.m. and just went nuts till we got on our next plane at seven.
The next morning.
Yeah.
And I will recommend that nobody ever do that.
It was a horrible idea.
I thought it would be fun.
This would be awesome.
Do you know how horrible it is?
It's so sensitive.
To get on a plane after not sleeping anywhere and parting.
And by the way, by the time 4 a.m. 5 a.m.
It's, you're kind of done parting. You're like, I don't want to part anymore.
Yeah, but I don't have a room. It's sucks. I can't go crap.
I then you throw up on the plane. I thought I should bear this.
This Vegas story very similar to that where I was with Baker. We were out there and we went to
just just throw people out of the bus. Like you don't ask him if you could talk about him.
No, what he knows about that dude. You know? You got to really know us to put that together.
You know what I'm saying?
If you're one of the homies,
it probably knows the story.
You know what I'm saying?
If you know that, right?
So I've even know who Baker is.
You worked as a baker for anyway, glad.
That's right.
So we were, we were, we were, we were getting through.
We're out in Vegas for two or three days in a row.
And I didn't, yeah, I didn't sleep pretty much the whole trip.
And then the last day, my flight, you know, because I was trying to save a buck, was flying
out of Vegas, I think it's 630 or whatever the early is flight was out of the Vegas, I think
it is 630.
So I was like, fuck, you know, and at the time, you, the way you're thinking, you're like,
oh, you'll just, you know, I'll just go straight from the club.
I'll just go straight from the club.
That's exactly, you're so, you feel so strong before you go into it.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
And so I went, we went after irritated at all.
After I was raised and I was partying all night long till about 3 30, 3 45 rolls around.
My car, it's time to go to my hotel room, pack up my stuff, get up there for four, four
30, then I'm like, okay, 5 AM heading over to the airport.
And then I'm like, I'm over the party now.
You've come down from everything.
I'm ready to fucking be in my bed.
And I'm sitting waiting for my plane to come.
So I and I had a priority because I was there so early.
So I put my head at like the Southwest line and the A thing
and my my double bag.
And I woke up to people stepping over me to get on the plane.
That's how I woke up.
And I was like, oh shit.
Time to get on my part.
Get on.
Yeah.
I was dead.
Oh man, I'll never forget that weekend.
That was rough.
I woke up in a bush one time in Chicago.
What?
I did.
What?
You know what?
If someone has us, you know, that would be a great trivia.
Like out of the three boys, who's most likely to have
woken up in a bush?
Who's most likely to have slept in a airport in Vegas?
Just all night.
Like it was like industry night.
And so I got off work at like one o'clock or something.
And then, you know, we were trying to find bars that were still open.
So you go downtown, they're open to like five, sometimes six a.m.
And so we're just still going, still going strong.
And then I'm like, yeah, like, I'm supposed to go to my friend
because he lived somewhere down there.
And we had like, I missed him.
He left and I couldn't find him.
And so I was walking through this park and next thing,
you know, I just woke up and a bush.
I had slept there.
He slept in the spiderman.
And a bush.
Fucked that.
Yeah.
That's gross.
Is that the, you know, I had this.
This is a problem.
One time we had a kid, this is where we're like,
God, you're just talking to Justin about this type of stuff,
takes me all the way back to like,
when we were kids, bro, doing this.
I know.
See, when Adam wakes up in a bush.
See, that was in college, but still, no excuse.
When Adam wakes up in a bush,
it's totally different.
It is totally different.
Oh, I was down here so long I fell asleep. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It is totally different. Oh, I was down your soul
on that fellow sleep. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's okay. Keep napping. Yes. I have a bush
experience of being drunk, but it's a little bit different. It was a cactus. So you're snoring
is enhancing this. No, listen, so we had this party at this. You woke up in a cactus. I was in
college. And it was a Friday night, Friday night party.
We used to go out to my cousins.
He had this rooster farm out there
and had all this like land and had a cake.
A bunch of cocks.
A gate, yeah, it was a bunch of cocks.
And we'd throw these big old,
Kager parties out there, right?
And we're out there and it's a double wide trailer, by the way.
And we'd throw like five K-girds out here.
So hundreds of people will be coming out here and just party.
It's when you're 22, three years old
and that stuff sounds totally awesome.
And it was, total K-gird party.
Let's go.
And you know, and you don't think about
how am I gonna drive home because I'm gonna be smashed
out of my mind and or where am I gonna sleep.
You'll worry about that stuff at three.
You'll figure it out.
You'll figure it out.
So figuring it out that night turned out me and my two best friends sleeping in my
accurate integral.
So it's a hatchback, accurate, so we had all the seats laid down.
And it's mid-winter too, by the way, and it's flocking freezing.
And we're all using my car cover that was in the trunk.
It's a sleepwhip.
So you're all on the same bed.
You're all in the warm. Oh, Yeah, it was so bad, right?
And the next morning, one of the one of the one of the warmest
they were one of the other two guys that was sleeping in the car with me had we both had
traffic school the next day.
And we were there's nothing like showing up for traffic school.
Oh, wrong, dude.
I get out in the middle of the night.
So my car is parked in front of his is double-eyed and he's they have like this little cactus
Little like fucking farm right in front of their house, right?
And I get out I get out of the car right I get out of the car
It's a get roll out of my car to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night to go pee
And I'm going to go pee and because I'm so drunk
I lose my balance and I go and I see him about the fall and I go to praise myself and I stick my hand in the cactus and it's one of those the
ones with all the little ones so I I must have had 10,000 fucking little red
pricklies like porcupine. Yes, in my inside my hand and I'll never forget like
screaming in a prickly hand and I fell asleep like with my hand in my lap picking
them picking all these things out
From the morning time when I got up to go to this this class
I had this this fucking puffy swollen hand with all these little red dots all in it
Oh so much for the no-sleeve
swollen ass hand and shit driving to
Having school the next morning. This is great cuz it's making me think of all these stories
There is a guy there one of my buddies a good friend of mine. I won't say his name, so I don't want to throw him under the bus, but
I got him to just say it. Yeah, so my friend me my friend that we went to we would go to Vegas and
He was kind of like my Vegas buddy like we we went like four or five times and this guy
He's a maniac and he pulls the maniac and me out
So we had a lot of good times over there,
but I'll never forget, man, one night, man,
we were crashed out somewhere
and there was like a bunch of people,
some room, there was a bunch of people crashing out.
Wasn't our room, we weren't necessarily staying there.
We just fell asleep.
And middle of night, I hear like water running.
Sounds like water's running.
I'm like, what's going on?
Look, and he's just taking a piss in the middle of the floor
Just in the middle of the room. Oh God, I got a story and he's half asleep
He doesn't that guy. He didn't know what's going on
He's just and he's like pissing over like people's like yeah people's laptops and shit like that and I'm like bro
Bro, we got we got sleepwalkers and he looks to that he kind of opens his eyes and looks at me like
Shush, you go. Don't worry and he goes back to bed and I'm like I'm too drunk to really care at this point
Don't do something like this will be hilarious when we wake up yeah wake up in the morning
And yeah sure enough everybody's it but I kept calling them a rockstar so I'm like you're like a fucking rock star
Like you don't even care. You just piss on people. She don't even care bro
The only time I've ever been pissed on before
The only time I've ever been pissed on before
Now this turns into Adam's golden shower story That's the title, though. You guys are just the only time I've ever been pissed on it. I hope so listen
I hope you tell us a piece story and it's the only time that's ever happened
I hope we're not live. Yes, remind it's like the fifth time that's happened
Oh, dude, we were we were junior Definitely the first time juniors in high school in
this happened. And that was, I think I don't know about you
guys, junior and senior year in high school. The only thing that
was cool to do was you spent the whole week during school
week, trying to find out who's house you were going to go to
and party for the weekend and the rest of the time it was spent
trying to figure out how you were going to get alcohol
because you were under age. So that was like the, you know, the
bulk of junior, senior year.
And we would go to my buddy's house a lot
because his parents used to travel.
It's good students, just great students.
That's all we did.
Hey, we were all honorable students and athletes.
We were all good kids.
Smart motherfuckers.
We still took care of business.
But anyways, we throw this party.
Well, the first time I found out that one of my best friends was a sleep walker
was when he pissed on me and what happened.
I was passed out on the couch sleeping on the couch, dead asleep, and there was a coffee
table there.
It's a good thing you didn't have to do number two.
And I wake up.
None of you got in your mouth.
And I wake up to the pee.
He's peeing on the coffee table and it's bouncing off and it's splashed onto my face and that's what's woke me up.
Are you in the sprits?
And so I jump out and I fucking wig out.
I start yelling at him at first and he doesn't budge.
And this happens to be one of my friends too that we used to joke about because he used
to not pee in public.
He wouldn't even pee in the restrooms next to somebody else.
He was so private.
But yeah, now he's got his dick out and he's pissing on the fucking coffee table all over
my face. So I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.
I'm ready. The spritzes ready with the face. Oh, I'm splashing up and he's going. I thought
I was hitting like your arm or something. That's how won't be up. Yeah. That's horrible.
So I was fucking live in bro. I was about to kill him. But as the more I yelled at, he didn't
budge. He was completely out of it. So it was I to kill him. But as the more I yelled at, he didn't budge, he was completely out of it.
So it was, I literally let him finish peeing on the coffee table.
He puts his shit away.
And then I like shook him and woke him up like he shook him dry.
But it's a trip that someone does that where they will get up, they walk like that.
Totally, if you, it totally looks like they're coherent and they're not.
And he was out.
So is he a legit sleepwalker?
Oh, legit.
100% I actually seen somebody in that state before either.
Advote, that was my first experience with it.
And you know, we were best friends.
So I had seen this many other times later on when we, as we would hang it.
I mean, I'm gonna pee a lot.
Honestly, no, no, no, no, last time he ever peed on any of us.
And it was not, yeah, it was a night of, I mean, we were heavy drinking that night.
So it was probably a combination of that.
That's what he was.
And then we drank a ridiculous amount of alcohol back then.
And since then, we're all pretty much grown adults.
And he hasn't done anything crazy like that.
But it started.
That's a way back to that kind of stuff.
You just realized how big of a pussy you are now.
Like I could not do that shit.
No way.
I could, I mean, maybe I could, but I just, I don't want it.
I don't, I'm so, I'm cool.
Sounds like like the worst thing I'll have, I'll have half a beer
and I'm gonna go to bed at 10.
Whoa, you guys, you know what?
I mean, it's part of it.
That's why sometimes I really think it's neat like in Germany
and so without, they're drinking ages like what,
13 or something like that.
It's really neat.
Well, I find it fascinating that they have as little
or less problems that we have with underage drinking and things like that over here
The more taboo you make something that's it. That's what I mean at that day and if at all ages right 15
That's why you should give kids cocaine a little bit
Doug
He has a button and airing you need to use it you just took that
Not say that here kids. I just did that. Not say that. Care kids.
I did not say that.
No, never.
But I just think things like that, I think when we make such a big deal about it so bad,
so wrong that you have this desire to do.
And then when you're a kid and you find out, oh, it's kind of fun when I'm drunk and it's
so new and different, then I'll send you, feel like you have this need to do it all
the time because it's so wrong and so bad and you're being sneaky and when really it's
not that bad.
And if you think about it,
you really should drink younger
because then you can handle it.
Like, oh great, I can fucking drink as much as I want now.
I don't want it, I can't handle anymore.
The buzz doesn't last as long.
Have you noticed that?
Have you guys noticed that?
Like before my 20s, I could get buzz going.
I was like, all night.
Now the buzz is like one hour and after that,
just feel shitty.
Well, that's because the buzz was worried
about the feeling afterwards.
Yeah.
Oh, how unproductive I'm going to be in all that. And you just, it's, it's convenient
because you got no responsibilities. Well, we couldn't talk about this on an episode
before, right? Like, so, you know, I would say, just like you, I, I think when, when it goes
into the night, I'm like, Oh, contemplating, should I drink tonight? Oh, maybe I'll have
some drinks and let loose and have a good time or whatever that. If I'm committed to doing that,
I'm already thinking, okay,
what do I do tomorrow morning?
Do I have a certain time this and that?
Now, somebody else might say,
oh, you're just a pussy,
I feel fine when I have alcohol.
This is that, well, you can look at it like that.
I look at it like you also have an issue
because you've conditioned your body
to where it doesn't recognize
when an over amount of toxin is inside of it.
It doesn't feel bad. So I think you just feel shitty all is inside of it. It's not it doesn't feel bad.
So I think you just feel shitty all the time.
Well, that's what it is.
That's what it I mean by that is that you're so used to you don't know what it's like to
feel really healthy and clean and good.
You know, if you knew what that felt like the one you did do that, then it wouldn't feel
so awesome.
So maybe instead of looking at like lucky me, I can drink every night and not feel worse.
We have yet, we have yet to go straight, balls out crazy together.
We have not done that.
None of us, we have not gotten together and just, because when we get together, we tend
to want to work.
But I will say this, the time is coming.
I know it, I can sense it, I can feel the tension, I can feel that there's going to be
some crazy shit and I hope we all survive.
We like to die.
I don't want anybody to die from that
because I have a bad feeling that's gonna get ugly.
On that note, please leave us a five star radio.
We have skyddeparting.
Yeah, it's coming.
Check us out on Instagram, my pup radio.
You can find Adam, my pup Adam.
And you can find Justin and my pump Justin.
And me, the best at my pump cell, I can self and that would it and check out my pump media dot com
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