Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 446: Becoming a Better Version of Yourself

Episode Date: January 30, 2017

In the high speed world we live, it is easy to go on cruise control and do life the same way year after year. But if you are not getting what you really want out of your relationships, career and life... it may be time to upgrade your approach to these things. In this episode Sal, Adam & Justin discuss actionable ways to get more satisfaction out of this journey. Get our newest program, Kettlebells 4 Aesthetics (KB4A), which provides full expert workout programming to sculpt and shape your body using kettlebells. Only $7 at www.mindpumpmedia.com! Get MAPS Prime, MAPS Anywhere, MAPS Anabolic, MAPS Performance, MAPS Aesthetic, the Butt Builder Blueprint, the Sexy Athlete Mod AND KB4A (The MAPS Super Bundle) packaged together at a substantial DISCOUNT at www.mindpumpmedia.com. Make EVERY workout better with MAPS Prime, the only pre-workout you need… it is now available at mindpumpmedia.com Have Sal, Adam & Justin personally train you via video instruction on our YouTube channel, Mind Pump TV. Be sure to Subscribe for updates. Get your Kimera Koffee, Mind Pump's first official sponsor, at www.kimerakoffee.com, code "mindpump" for 10% off! Add to the incredible brain enhancing effect of Kimera Koffee with www.brain.fm/mindpump 10 Free sessions! Music for the brain for incredible focus, sleep and naps! Please subscribe, rate and review this show! Each week our favorite reviewers are announced on the show and sent Mind Pump T-shirts!

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Starting point is 00:00:00 If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go. Mite, pop, mite, pop with your hosts. Salda Stefano, Adam Schaefer, and Justin Andrews. This episode that you're about to hear, we started with zero, zero direction. It got real deep. We talk a lot about, you know, the real root motivations behind just being a better person, which includes things like fitness and nutrition. Looking at the programs that we offer, one of the reasons why we don't do these, get fit in 30 days or get fit in 10 days or whatever programs, although we know that it would sell
Starting point is 00:00:43 like crazy, the reason why we don't do them is because we know it's not a long-term approach. We've worked with people, thousands of people, and we know what works, and what works is a process, and it takes time, and it involves changing adaptations, it involves learning about your body, which means you have to try and do different aspects of exercise. It means training your body according to its individual needs so that you can correct and balance this, identify dysfunction, work towards correcting those things. And at the end of this long process, not only are you, the side effects are your more fit, you've got more muscle less body fat, you look better, those are side effects.
Starting point is 00:01:23 The real effect is at the end of it, you have now learned your body at a level that you just simply weren't out before. You now have a stronger connection to long-term fitness and health, real fitness and health. And the program that we have that offers, that is the, we think the best way for you to get there is our maps super bundle, which includes all of our maps programs But really gives you the tools to go on a long journey about a year You're looking at about a year's worth of exercise programming literally broken down to you weak by weak There's nothing else out there that's like it Each segment takes you through a different form of adaptation. Each program geared towards a different form of muscle function of targeted adaptations
Starting point is 00:02:12 like strength, endurance, mobility, self-awareness. It's all in there in this map, Super Bundle. It includes maps prime, which is about as individualized as any kind of program you'll find on the internet can get because it includes a compass where you assess your body. And based on that assessment, it helps you program what you do before and after your workout, vastly changing the adaptations targets that you can do with your workouts, making them much more individualized.
Starting point is 00:02:42 It's included in there. And we also have a nutrition guide and a fasting guide, which you can get separately, which will also help you with your nutrition and your approach to food. It's all there, it's all available. It's the MAP Superbundle. You can find it at mindpumpmedia.com.
Starting point is 00:03:00 Justin, what are you gonna do for your birthday today, man? Yeah, it's a birthday, dude. I'm not even thinking about it. Birthday sex. Birthday is happening. media.com Justin what are you gonna do for your birthday today man? Yeah it's a birthday dude. I'm not even gonna think about it. Birthday sex. Yeah, that is happening. You gotta be careful, I'm lucky. Yeah, you gotta be careful because if you build it up too much
Starting point is 00:03:13 no, I'm not gonna. No, I'm not gonna. Well, both of you guys being married. Both of you guys being married guys. I'm not married. Well, was a married guy. He's what I meant. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:23 Correct. Is it guaranteed? Is it guaranteed, like, on the birthday, you're getting sex? Or has there been times that you can recall not getting sex on your birthday? You never guaranteed Adam. Really? It's never guaranteed. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:37 But it's, would you grease out today? It makes its way in, you know, like, on moments like that. Yeah. Like, you sneak it in and it's like, Hey, it's my birthday. Hey, you're gonna take this. I'll do you remember what date is? You know, like some little, like, you know, reminder.
Starting point is 00:03:52 You put a little, little, like gift wrap on yourself. Yeah. Yeah, it's like a boat. Open this present for me, please. What about you, Sal? Did you always get sex on your birthday? Um, yeah, I don't know if I want to answer. I think considering, come on, you're,
Starting point is 00:04:07 considering my marriage dissolved, probably, I guess you could probably get the answer to whether or not I got it. Wow. For certain thing. You know what it is, here's the thing, you don't want someone to give you sex because it just caused.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Whoa, no, no, no, it sucks. Good, well that makes it even worse, right? Exactly, it's pretty sex. Hey honey, it's your birthday. It's me, I have a moment. Here you go. It's right, and everything lines up, dude, let's party. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:34 What, okay, so. Your best bet is, here's what you do, if you want, if you've been with your, and again, I'm giving advice like I'm an expert on this, I'm not, but I'm gonna give advice anyway If you're in a long term relationship Your best bet is to get make sure that shit is that normally causes anxieties taking care of so shit is clean Kids are you know, whatever fed off the school dishes are done
Starting point is 00:05:03 There's no stress surrounding the situation. Then you throw in some type of Consciousness altering substance like alcohol and then you play nice music Yeah, and then there's a formula and then it's wow. It's great. Mm-hmm. Yeah, mm-hmm. I you know actually I Like I still to get their wives drunk. No, no, no, I think there's something to be said about that. So I think that- That's things up, man. No, I think we're in an era right now where it's really, really challenging to be present.
Starting point is 00:05:38 And I think as, and this is coming from a guy who's not married. So you guys- You're getting all spiritual in the day. No, no, no, not at all, not at all. No, listen, listen, let hear me out here So and you guys you guys have been married or are married so you can you can disagree or agree or or put your two cents and afterwards, but I feel like You know even being the guy who's just in a long-term relationship Katrina, I've been together for six years
Starting point is 00:06:00 So even though I'm not married to consider so consider ourselves married I just have different views and opinions of marriage. So I feel like I am. And I feel like something that after being together for a very long time, we just recently were discussing this that, you know, it's really easy to get distracted by life. And there's all these tools as far as our iPad,
Starting point is 00:06:24 our TV, our phone, and children, and your guys' case, and work stress, and family issues going on, it's very, very difficult to be mindful of where you're currently at at that moment and being present. And, you know, so Katrina and I have recently started doing some things to practice, you know, or getting ourselves into this state of present. And I tell you, man, sex is... It makes sex better, yeah. Yeah, sex is epic. For sure.
Starting point is 00:07:03 And I find it, like there isn't this push and pull of, you know, trying to get each other to have sex, one wanting it, the other one not wanting it, it's a very natural flow. And I've found we've had some great deep conversations lately. And, you know, we have some exercises that we've, and this was the crazy part for us, right? We kind of like realize that, wow, just because we have this awesome relationship and we've been together for a long time and we know each other inside and out, I think sometimes that can work against you in your relationship because you start to take that for granted and you forget to connect on these deeper levels and to get back to the roots of what made you guys fall in love together
Starting point is 00:07:47 and strengthen the relationship early on. And for us, I think because we're both go getters that we were. We were finding ourselves, and it's weird because it's like we totally communicate. It's not like we don't communicate. We talk to each other every single night. We're in bed together next to each other all night long, and literally talk to each other every fall asleep. But a lot of times it's about work or you know what's going on tomorrow and make sure we have this covered and we got this coming up next and It's all about what's coming or what we have to be ready for and what we have to do and Recently been practicing some stuff to get us
Starting point is 00:08:21 mindful and present and wow what a difference to get us mindful and present and wow, what a difference. Have you guys ever experienced that or do you notice that with your own relationship? Like, where's your head at with that? I think most of the time, the thing that's convenient enough, it depends, I think, where you're at, as far as responsibilities and distractions are concerned.
Starting point is 00:08:48 So if I have all these things happening, as I get home, all these things are, it's chaos, to break away from that, is like, that's a huge win to break away from that. So I totally see what you're saying with, you've had a pretty chaotic, like past few weeks, right? Yeah. With the theater breaking and yeah. Yeah. So it's like there's there's always something that I don't know. I feel like I'm always addressing. And so for me to
Starting point is 00:09:16 like, yeah, to have that kind of intimacy, you know, and like regain that, that's, that's a challenge, man. Well, you know, that's why couples will take like time and like get the date each other. You have to like make time. Absolutely have to do that. Make a huge difference. Well, is it crazy? Yeah, this is something that, so in the past,
Starting point is 00:09:36 this is what would happen, okay? This is like, I'm gonna share a little bit of my relationship, which I don't normally like to do on radio, but I'll give you a little bit of like, my challenges and struggles that we've had in our relationship before. And one of those would be this is, I'm the one who's notorious for being the least present. And if, you know, and Katrina's really good about being very patient, and then she'll
Starting point is 00:09:57 say to me, after a while, like, she'll give me like little, little jabs, like, hey, you're gonna, are you gonna talk to me? And I'm like, what do you talk about? We've been talking, like, no, like, aside from work and this and that, I'm like, hey, are you gonna talk to me? And I'm like, what are you talking about? We've been talking, like, no, like aside from work and this and that, I'm like, okay, so. And then if she gives me enough of those after a while, I'll eventually look back at her and say, listen, get me outta here.
Starting point is 00:10:14 Book a trip for us. Get us out of fucking Dodge. Take us to the mountains or the beach or let's just go somewhere and book a trip. So we used to be really good about doing that. Well, this last year and a half, two years of mind pump, we've been so committed to being around here that we haven't done a lot of it like we used to. And so it's required me, just like Justin you were saying right now, is I feel I have the same, even though I don't have the kids. So I can't
Starting point is 00:10:42 say I know what that's like, which in my mind just says you have it to a more extreme than me, that we actually have to put systems in place or start to make an effort to practice the first step, then the other stuff comes, right? So I can't always just get away every single weekend and have this time just her and I. So now I have to do other things, other exercises to get us in that state. And I'm finding that we're having huge success with that. And it's opened my eyes to a lot of the things
Starting point is 00:11:19 that was happening in the past because I was not allowing myself to become completely present. It feels like a lot of this is coming out of your goal for the beginning of this year, of meditation and just spending that time to be more mindful of reflection and making more space for you to kind of like work with, right? So yeah, no, it's a, and I always tell people that your greatest strength is your greatest weakness. And I know that a lot of, one of the things that we all kind of have in common is we're all go getters, we're all visionaries,
Starting point is 00:11:54 we're always thinkers, we're very cerebral. And sometimes that gets in our own way of being present at that moment. And so, you know, the beginning of the year, I did. I said, okay, I'm going to be doing more meditation, turning the electronics off earlier and things like that. And, you know, that was my own personal one. And that kind of led into some of the practices that Katrina and I have been doing, which is okay, you know, at least, and we set reasonable goals because you got to be reasonable with yourself. So you get to understand,
Starting point is 00:12:23 you got kids, you got responsibilities, you responsibilities you can't all send just say I'm not going to think about tomorrow you know well so so this is a subject that I've been very very interested in and I've done a lot of thinking about and reading on probably for the last I don't know three maybe three four years and it kind of started when you know someone very close to me got sick and I had to go through that whole situation. And when you encounter a truly life-altering experience where you realize how much something like that
Starting point is 00:13:00 can destroy your well-being, even if it's not you. I mean, when you see someone close to you dying or when your home is being threatened or when things happen that have real threat to you, because believe it, I mean, the truth is, for most people, most of the things we stress about really aren't things that are immediate dangers. You know, most of the things we stress about
Starting point is 00:13:24 are things that we should think about, but then we should stop stressing about, like, oh, the house is a mess. You know, okay, you thought about it, you plan, you're gonna do something about it, but like, stop stressing about it. It's not gonna kill you, it's nothing crazy. But there are those moments when you'll have
Starting point is 00:13:38 those situations that really challenge you. And I was very cognizant of the fact that I needed to maintain my health because my family at that point really needed me to be strong for them. And the only way I could be strong is be healthy. So I did a lot of reading and research on this and I did a lot of practice of this. And one thing that I realized that was through this process, one thing that I really realized that was truly transformative in that regard in terms of mindfulness was that mindfulness, mindfulness, and being present, you don't need to do anything special for it, although doing different things helps a lot, but you
Starting point is 00:14:19 can practice it with anything. I'll never forget there was two moments that really hit me. One was, and I talked about this before in a previous podcast, as I was driving with my kids and at the time my wife, and we were on our way to Disneyland, and we hit just ridiculous traffic. So if anybody, you're a parent, and you've been stuck in a car with kids and it's there's traffic and you've already been on the road. I happen to meet with the flash floods and all that. Yeah, when you're stuck in the car for four hours with kids and they're complaining and I got to go pee and what are we going to do? And then you all you want to do is get where
Starting point is 00:14:58 you want to get where you're supposed to go and the anxiety and stress that are related to that. I mean literally I want, I wanted to take my steering wheel, rip it off and throw it out the window at the car next to me. That's how angry it was. And then I was thinking about this whole mindfulness practice and I was like, wait a minute, hold on a second. I'm angry because I'm trying to get somewhere to be with my family.
Starting point is 00:15:20 I'm already with my fucking family. We're in the car right now. Like, what am I doing? What a waste of this present moment. And at that moment, nothing changed except for my perspective. And instantly, it was the strangest feeling. I'd never experienced anything like this before. Instantly, I went from anger and anxiety and stress to,
Starting point is 00:15:41 oh my god, I'm enjoying myself. I'm with my kids and my family, and we're gonna have great conversation, and we're gonna sing, and we're gonna joke around, and like, I'm here with them right now. And it was this real, just life-changing moment. And the next time that that happened was, when I was doing, I was washing dishes. And there's certain things I can't,
Starting point is 00:16:02 I used to hate doing, like washing dishes, vacuuming the floor, doing laundry, like, just fucking mindless bullshit that I hate doing. Can't stand doing it, gotta do it, find whatever. And I go to do the dishes, and I'm doing the dishes, and I'm irritated about it, like this sucks. Can't stand at that I'm doing this right now.
Starting point is 00:16:21 And then I thought to myself, like, okay, why don't I just be try being present in this moment and let my mind just relax and just focus on what I'm doing. Like look at the dish, feel the water. You know, see what you know, pay attention to this moment right now. Rather than thinking about how much I hate it and thinking about all the other things I could be doing. Let's just focus on what's going on right now. And within an instant, it actually became enjoyable. I actually started enjoying what I was doing because rather than it being something that...
Starting point is 00:16:50 Wax on, wax on. Yeah, rather than it being something that stressed me out, it actually became kind of this relaxing, meditative thing that I was doing. And then when you really talk to people to understand meditation, they will say to you weird things, like it's just about being present or you don't have to sit down and meditate
Starting point is 00:17:12 at any moment, you can do anything. My girlfriend explained that to me. She went on one of these retreats, which at some point I wanna do, it just sounds very, very frightening to me, but they're these silent retreats. I don't know if you've heard of these before, where you go to these. You've talked about it. It already sounds very, very frightening to me, but they're these silent retreats. I don't know if you've heard of these before, where you go to these...
Starting point is 00:17:27 You've talked about it. It already sounds scary. Dude. You go to these silent retreats. You're not allowed to talk. Yeah, Katrina's been on them. Nobody talks. You're there for a week or whatever.
Starting point is 00:17:38 So like seven days of no talking and no listening to people talk. Actually, that sounds awesome. And most of the day, and you're not allowed electronics, you're not allowed to do anything, all you do is you meditate all fucking day. You just sit there with yourself and meditate,
Starting point is 00:17:53 which sounds terrifying to me. And so she did that and she came back and one of the main things she learned, which is like, south she goes, you can meditate at any moment, you can be present any moment. She goes, and she gave me an exercise. She said, every day when you get in the car,
Starting point is 00:18:06 and put your seat belt on, put your seat belt on, and be very mindful of the two breaths. Just breathe twice, and all you're doing is thinking about breathing in, what it feels like, what your lungs feel like, and breathing out, and what the air feels like coming out, and what your lungs feel like when they're aware, and then do that a couple times and then drive off.
Starting point is 00:18:24 And I started doing that, and I was like, whoa, it makes a huge difference. You just don't realize how much you're not here and how much you're in the future of the past. I'm glad you said that right there because just a few minutes ago, you said something else and I was going to kind of say something because you said like, you know, you don't have to practice or make a big deal about it or anything like that. And I agree. But what I realized, and this was kind of the epiphany that Katrina and I had was, even
Starting point is 00:18:52 though we have this great relationship, great communication, how easily you can take those things for granted and become not mindful, and that, you know, who am I to think that just because I'm such a great communicator and we have such a great relationship that there aren't things that we should help or that we should do to practice to enhance being mindful or do that. And so I felt the same way was like, you know, these little things, these little breathing techniques or you know, brain FM and meditation and meditation and a recent one that we started doing too was like, we'd go through an audiobook together. It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:19:33 We're horrible at getting through the book though. What's great though, because what ends up happening is sometimes that happens. Sometimes we get three minutes into it and then we pause and then all of a sudden all this great deep conversation happens because one of us has an opinion on what we just heard and the other one does and then we... Bro, you know what's so good about that? There is nothing, I know we joke around a lot
Starting point is 00:20:02 and we're guys and you know guys say, make a lot of comments about, oh, she's hot or this and that, and we tend to be very visual creatures. There is nothing more stimulating than having that kind of connection with someone where you can talk about things very deeply and expose things and feel comfortable about time.
Starting point is 00:20:19 There's nothing more stimulating, and that shit will last a lot longer than the physical aspects of things. Because when you're, you know, 70 years old, like, I hate to break this to everybody, but you're girling it be hot no more, and either you, you're not gonna look at somebody and be like, damn, you're really turning me on now visually. Yeah, they don't look like they did when they first started dating them, but can they
Starting point is 00:20:41 still turn you on? Fuck yeah, they can't, and it's what you're talking about. Well, you know, this is what I find. So, so fast. Unless they're like, just like the old ones. Is that this just shows you too, you know, and I think each person's different, right? Cause some of us are more visual than we are cerebral,
Starting point is 00:20:56 but I know I'm more cerebral for sure, because, you know, I have a beautiful woman, I have someone who's incredible shape, she walks around naked in front of me all the time and you would think the guy and you would be like, just turned on right away when this naked body, but no, I've seen it 10,000 times already in front of me, so you take it for granted, you don't think about it.
Starting point is 00:21:16 But the moment that I get inside of her brain and we're thinking about the same thing and we're discussing something, I mean, that's just unbelievably attractive to me and it does, it turns that switch on. And you could tell it does for her too. I think it's such an important thing that when you get in a relationship for a long time,
Starting point is 00:21:37 it's not my first rodeo. It's not the first time I've been in a relationship for more than a year or two with a girl. And Katrina and I have been together for six years and I've always had great communication, but great communication doesn't always mean that we're being present too. So I think it's important that when you have a relationship
Starting point is 00:21:57 and maybe you're having like a hard time whether it be in the bedroom sexually or arguing and fighting or just lack of communication that there's practices that you can do to stimulate that. And, you know, this has definitely been, maybe it's not for everybody. I'm not saying that this is the answer for everybody. I'm just sharing my work. Communicate through my body.
Starting point is 00:22:19 Yeah, you do. It's great. But I think that I think it took a lot of humility for me to to recognize it because I take a lot of pride on being somebody who communicates really well and to think that, oh, I actually need to do an exercise to talk to my partner better. That's what it sounded like to me at first when in reality, that's not what I was. No, man, you're just dedicating some time to it. I mean, it's like, you can't expect to be like fit and healthy if you don't go put work in to work out.
Starting point is 00:22:48 I mean, how can we expect to have these great long lasting relationships if which just coasts, doesn't work that way? You got to constantly make an effort to do those things. Let me ask you guys this, what was it that, because obviously you, you know, all three of us are with women that we want to be with for long
Starting point is 00:23:06 period of time. They're not just flings, obviously. What are the things that initially made that connection for you where you were like, man, I really want to be with this girl. What was it for you? Personality. What else?
Starting point is 00:23:19 What do you mean? Oh, I just mean like, what was that thing that drew you in? Right? Yeah, because I mean, you guys keep talking about mental stimulation You know that it's great to have you know obviously the attraction level there and like you know They got a you got a connect on that level on some degree and if you if you deny that it's like come on You know like it's that's that's primal but it needs to be further than that and you need to know what their values are So the other thing for me was just that the loyalty and then the The compassionate sort of nature, right? So she was taking care of her grandma like when nobody else was
Starting point is 00:23:56 You know she was just very nice to people like had this like the way that she carried herself was like an immediate thing that I like was Responded to like and it it resonated with me because you know you start to think of those things. I don't know how much this is sort of wired in our DNA but like I could see her like being more of a mother than I could you know anybody else that I've dated you know what I mean and that was attractive. Well that's cool. Yeah. How about you Adam? So it's funny you asked that because we literally were just talking about this last night. And it was last night we were listening to, I just picked up the rise of Superman. So Stephen Kotler's other book.
Starting point is 00:24:35 How is it, by the way? Awesome. Awesome, awesome. So we're going through it. And we only, you know, have the same thing happen. We get in like 15 minutes and then we start talking about what he was talking about and going back and forth. And I told her, I said, you know, it's really crazy that, you know, we weren't, we haven't been doing a lot of this lately until recently. And this reminds me of how I fell in love with you.
Starting point is 00:25:04 And when Katrina and I first met, we were friends. We both were in other relationships. We met a business-wise first. So her business, she owned a massage clinic, was providing a service for my business, and I was paying her weekly, and I would go and drop off the check. And when I drop off the check, we talk a little bit and you know, then we got to know each other a little bit and we'd talk and I'd share books with her that I was reading and she'd share books that she was reading and send quotes to each
Starting point is 00:25:33 other. I'll check this out. That was how I fell in love with her was I was so attracted to her, so attracted to her desire to grow, her intelligence, her ability to communicate, like all these things, and it's funny because, like I said, you take those for granted that, and we don't revisit that.
Starting point is 00:25:55 It's like, I fell in love with you for this stuff, but then I don't go back and practice all those same things. Like, why wouldn't we be reading books together? Why wouldn't we be sharing this stuff? If that's what it, and that's what sparked up this, the crazy sexual chemistry too, is that, wow, like that turns me on, and even though it has nothing to do with something visual,
Starting point is 00:26:15 like it's something that I have to make sure that we always practice in the relationship, if this is gonna be something that we're doing for the next 40, 50 years together. And so us revisiting, you know, going through books together made me realize, like, wow, this is one of the, this is like, as I love her for many reasons,
Starting point is 00:26:33 like that was the main reason. That was the first thing that like, grabbed me and attracted me. I mean, we could go on all day about all the stuff about her, that's why she's so special. And I'm sure one day we'll introduce her the audience. But, that was definitely a big, big thing for her and I, about her that's why she's so special. And I'm sure one day we'll introduce her the audience. But that was definitely a big, big thing for her and I,
Starting point is 00:26:49 and it was like this a-ha moment that I had when we were sitting down talking last night. It was like, God, it's crazy that, you know, we haven't been doing this when this was a main reason why I fell in love with you. That's great, yeah. See, I was in a situation where, you know, obviously, I had gone through or been going through a divorce, which is very difficult.
Starting point is 00:27:11 I think they consider, it's funny because I've done a lot of reading. My typical style is if I'm going through something, I'm going to do a lot of reading on it, just so I can try and figure things out. And divorce is one of those things that's up there with death in the family or being a caregiver for someone else that's considered one of the more stressful things you there with death in the family or being a caregiver for someone else that's considered one of the more stressful things you'll ever go through, especially if you have children. Very difficult situation, but I think a lot of people don't realize is when you go through one, there was, for the most part, unless something horrible
Starting point is 00:27:38 suddenly happened, there was a lot of disconnect for years before that. So it's not like it just happens overnight, right? It's like, okay, there was years of disconnect for years before that. So it's not like it just happens overnight, right? It's like, okay, there was years of disconnect for a long time and I respect my ex, my ex and she's a wonderful mother and she's not a bad person but we were disconnected for quite a while. So when I had finally made the decision or when we had finally made the, it was actually mutual,
Starting point is 00:28:00 they made the decision to basically end our marriage. It was a very difficult one, both coming from very old school, culturally Italian families, and you just don't do that. So it was all this guilt behind it, and then on top of the EF kids, it's very, very difficult. So when I finally had left the house, the furthest thing from my mind was dating another woman. It wasn't even, it wasn't like I consciously thought to myself, I do not want to date
Starting point is 00:28:35 women. It was just not, I just, I didn't have space for it. It was done, I didn't, not something I even thought about. You know, I know a lot of people are like, oh, I'm gonna get, you know, divorced, I'm gonna go party, I'm gonna, I didn't even, wasn't even on the radar whatsoever. Right around this period, young lady starts working in the gym
Starting point is 00:28:54 that I'm training clients in, totally new. And I noticed her because I noticed that there's someone new and I did notice that she was attractive, but again, my mind was so not in that space that didn't even register. Like thinking back, I can totally, you know, hindsight's 20, but at that time,
Starting point is 00:29:13 it didn't even register. I just saw a person knew here and introduced myself and that was pretty much it. And had a few conversations very short with this individual in the gym. And I have this thing, like when there's new people working in this facility and I had just at this point, I had sold the gym to another trainer. So I'm still working in there, but it's really still kind of feels like mine because it's
Starting point is 00:29:34 kind of new. I had owned the place for 12 years. So anybody that came in there, I always wanted to get to know because I like that environment in there, right? So here I am now at this point, it's probably, you know, I don't know a couple months since I've left, like we finally made the decision, we're not going to be married anymore. And I'd left. Again, remember, years have been leading up to this moment, but this is just like final decision. And I, you know, this young lady comes in, where, you know,
Starting point is 00:30:02 I see her and we talk every once a while and me and the The new the new owner who was a trainer that I had brought on board years ago we're gonna hang out and She invited this other new trainer say hey, we should all hang out together. No, yeah, that sounds like a great idea Let me invite my brother. So now it's me my brother and These two other trainers one of them one of them being this young lady who had started working there. And so we were all supposed to hang out.
Starting point is 00:30:30 Well, last minute, one of the trainers had to back out. So now it's just me, my brother, and this new trainer, and this is Jessica I'm talking about. And so she comes over and hangs out with me and my brother, and we're just chilling, right? So it's like, I don't know, maybe seven o'clock at night and we're having these conversations and they start to get real deep and we're talking
Starting point is 00:30:51 until about five o'clock in the morning, which is, I haven't done that, I don't think ever, you know what I mean? Where you're just talking with someone so much that you lose track, I mean, it was a weeknight, I had to go to work the next, I had a client in the morning, 5 a.m. We're talking till 5 a.m. See now, when you look thinking about, sorry, interrupt you,
Starting point is 00:31:09 but I think this is cool because this is like what Stephen Kotler talked about with, like, group flow and getting in a state of flow, right? It was totally that, right? It was the strangest feeling ever that to be in that state where we're just, we're just really, I'm really into what she's saying and she's really into what I'm saying. My brother has passed out. He falls asleep about 2 a.m.
Starting point is 00:31:30 He's out snoring and we're still going. We're talking about all kinds of different subjects. Right around 4 o'clock in the morning, because I'm again, I'm completely oblivious to the fact that I'm extremely attracted to this woman because it wasn't, I had no space for it. You know what I'm saying? So about 4.30 a.m. I'm looking at her. And this is literally what goes through my mind. These are the words that go through my mind.
Starting point is 00:31:53 Oh fuck. 100% is what I said to myself because I had just realized, don't do this dude. You just left the house. Like you've been married forever, it wasn't the last five years or whatever, totally disconnected, like the last thing you need to do is date somebody or be with someone.
Starting point is 00:32:12 But that's what I thought, like oh shit, like I really like this girl, this is not good. So she leaves, it's 5 AM, she leaves, and I literally think to myself, like I am not gonna talk or call this person anymore. Like, I'm not gonna, I don't wanna be in this space, right? So I go to sleep, I wake up like two hours later because I have a client,
Starting point is 00:32:31 and I really wanted a texture, super bad, this crazy urge to texture about the conversations we had, but I didn't let myself, so I get up, I, you know, go to the bathroom. Because you're living by the three day rule. Not even the-day rule. I'm living by the fuck this rule. Like, I don't want to talk to anybody, right? Check my phone and she texted me. Well, we ended up hanging out every single day
Starting point is 00:32:53 since then. And the rest of history. But it's very interesting when you have that kind of connection, how strong it is. And it's really, like you said, you know, so in the moment I was in that that you know Where you're being mindful that that that that space and now that we've been together for a little while You definitely have to remind yourself to to do that for your relationship, but it extends beyond that I think it extends to everything you do like it's so easy to Think about like when you're at work, right and you think about all the all the things that we're doing and all the growth that we have in mind, all the new programs we're developing.
Starting point is 00:33:28 It's very hard to remember how awesome it is right now. You know what I'm saying? We just keep thinking about all the shit we're gonna do. And sometimes you just gotta sit there and be like, man, it's fucking cool right now. You know, I'm glad you transitioned out of the even the relationship thing because this has got major carryover into all of your relationships, not just the one that you're sleeping with at
Starting point is 00:33:49 home. It's unbelievable when you start to apply these tools to everything else. And I'll give you an example. And I've talked, I think I've briefly talked about the book One Minute Manager and how it was a, you know, paradigm shattering moment for me because previously before I had read that short book, I had been taught just by other bosses and people peers that I've been around that when you get into this management position, it's this you know, you authoritative position and you know, if you see people doing things wrong, you correct what they're doing and you teach them the right things and this is kind of
Starting point is 00:34:27 like what leadership looks like. And it totally flipped that idea on its head and basically taught, and I was reading another book too and I can't remember the name of the other one that I remember reading this study that they did with a Fortune 500 company, all these top CEOs. And they interviewed them and they said, if you were to ask all your employees what they thought of you as a leader and if you praise them and tell them what a great job they're doing and this and that and what would you rate you on a scale of one to ten and like they were all ten.
Starting point is 00:35:04 You definitely got to praise your this, this and that. And they asked all the employees of these CEOs on a scale one to 10, how well does your boss praise you? And it was like, they all the average, I think, was like 6.5 or 7. So the moral of the story was that we can never praise, we can never do these things enough, right? And I was like, wow, okay. So if this is true and I, because I consider myself one of those type of leaders that like everybody loved to work for me. If you like, if you work for me,
Starting point is 00:35:30 you'll love to work for me because I thought I was a really good boss and praised my employees and did stuff. And then when I realized this like, wow, like, people need that, need that constant affirmation. So I did this and my employees didn't know I did this. So I'm out seeing myself here, but it changed my, it literally changed my leadership, changed my career.
Starting point is 00:35:50 I used to put these, you know, reminders in my phone. So I had all my employees, at this time I think I had 20-something trainers working for me. And so every day I had a couple of them, a alarm would go off at different parts of the day. And so I said my my phone would buzz, and I'd look at it and say, you know, salad the Stefano, you know,
Starting point is 00:36:09 salad never worked for me. So it's salad the Stefano, and then I walk over, and I would find salad somewhere in the gym, and look and stop, stop, whatever I was doing, that was the deal was, I had to stop what I was doing, put it down, go find salad, go watch what he was doing, and find something to compliment him on.
Starting point is 00:36:26 And I would walk over to you and I put my hand on your shoulder and I'd say, hey Sal, I noticed that the way you were with your client right there, that was fucking awesome, and I just want to tell you doing a great job. And then I'd walk away. And really when I look back now and what we're talking about as far as it was really just learning to be very present and mindful and going over to that same person and giving them a piece of that Being present and mindful and thanking them for the job they're doing When I started managing this way where I stopped looking for the things that people were doing wrong and looking to correct them and I started Paying attention to all the things they were doing well and complimenting them. It's forever changed the game for me
Starting point is 00:37:03 You know if you think about the things that people really love to do, that are really passionate about, what they do is, what these things that people do, do for them is it puts them there at that moment. Like, I thought of this the other day, in fact, I was having a conversation with someone about riding motorcycles and how people are so passionate.
Starting point is 00:37:24 Like, people who ride bikes tend to be very passionate about riding motorcycles. And so, and I've never ridden a bike before and I'm one of those, you know, kill joys who's like, it's dangerous if you crash, you'll die whatever. And it's funny because I was talking to someone and I said, man, it's dangerous, you know, I don't think you should be riding bikes. It's super dangerous. And he said to me, he says, you're right. He said, it's very dangerous. He goes, you cannot lose focus for one second when you're riding a motorcycle. Unlike a car where you can think about shit, you can play with your radio, you can fucking do whatever you want. He said, when you're riding a motorcycle, man, you have to constantly be aware of everything around you all at all moments.
Starting point is 00:38:06 And then I realize something like, that's why you like riding motorcycles. Yeah, it's the thrill of it. It's just like a roller coasters and why there's theme parks, why there's like going to a movie, there's entertainment, or whatever, like you're so focused on that one thing that's going on right then.
Starting point is 00:38:24 So Stephen Collar talks about this Yeah in the rise of Superman So in the rise of Superman he gets into this about why your thrill seekers are The the most advanced level of people that can get in the state of flow. Yeah, because they have to it's easy for Extremes or do or die. It's either be the most fucking present as you possibly can at this moment or you could possibly die. So it's an extreme practice of that. And once the people that actually are get it
Starting point is 00:38:54 and figured out become very addicted to it and really what it is, it's the most ultimate state of flow and being present. It's because you are riding this thing 140 miles an hour, darting in and out of traffic, you are motherfucking present. Just like when you take a dirt bike and you hit a 60 foot jump
Starting point is 00:39:12 and you do a double back flip in the air, you can't think about what you have to do tomorrow. You can't think about your kids getting a good grade in school yesterday or the argument you got with your wife. Did I forget to lock the front door? Oh, shit. Oh my god. Damn.
Starting point is 00:39:28 Yeah, so the real talent then is to be able to get that kind of state without putting yourself in that kind of a danger. Yeah, I mean, that's like the ultimate sort of thing to aspire towards, right? Because you don't need to go out there and parachute and shit just to feel alive and feel like, I mean, I mean, the moment right now, like you just have to work on being able to compartmentalize everything around you and stay focused on what's right in front
Starting point is 00:39:56 of me. So, you know, for me, like the most, most of what I was kind of listening to, where your guys were going with this because I didn't know with all the relationship talk and all that stuff that makes me uncomfortable. We finally got to kind of a point here where I see like, you know, there's a process, there's a reason why everybody wants to feel that feeling. It's because it's exhilarating. It's, you tap into a different state of consciousness
Starting point is 00:40:27 just as far as how he talks about it, right? And that part is, it can be addictive because it feels good, but it's also it's a tool to tool for you to really accomplish great things and have purpose and just just optimize your life and all kinds of asses in the news. I just realized something. You know, it is very exhilarating to be very present. And I just realized something right now. It isn't the thing that you're doing necessarily that's exhilarating. It's the lack of you being in the future or in the past. Yes.
Starting point is 00:41:10 That's exhilarating. Absolutely. In fact, in fact, it's almost as if that is your natural state of mind. And what we do is we constantly take ourselves out of it. We constantly daily take ourselves out of it. We constantly daily take ourselves out of this natural, exhilarating, present moment that feels awesome for everybody because we're constantly thinking about what I got to do tomorrow, which is fear. The future is riddled with fear. Anytime you think about the future, a lot of times fear accompanies it. Or if you think about the past, a lot of times fear a company is it. Or if you think about the past, it's regret.
Starting point is 00:41:48 What I could have done, what I should have done, I shouldn't have done, you know, done those things. Rather than, you know, this particular moment right now, which, of course, of course, there's going to be times when this moment sucks, right, where you don't want to be present. But I think a lot of times, it doesn't. I think a lot of times, it's great. Like, you're sitting, let's just say you're sitting on the couch, you're stressed out because I don't know, you get some project
Starting point is 00:42:16 to you in a week or whatever, or you get stuff going on. But at that moment, you're in the couch and feels comfortable and I'm healthy. Ooh, I like the way this breathing feels. This breathing feels. And, you know, or maybe I'm really into this conversation I'm having or maybe I'm writing something. And I'm in that flow state.
Starting point is 00:42:35 Like, what a pleasurable, exhilarating feeling to be in the present. And it's almost, it's like that's almost like our natural. It's funny. I watched this video once where it was talking about animals versus humans and it was like, you know, animals worry for short periods of time
Starting point is 00:42:54 because they don't really know they're supposed to worry. Otherwise, like, oh no, I don't have food right now. I'm gonna worry, got food, I'm cool. You know what I'm saying? Whereas we're like, I'm gonna worry about all this arbitrary bullshit that's probably, I should worry about a little bit but then I should stop because it's not really serving me anymore.
Starting point is 00:43:11 Now I'm gonna just think about, you know, what's going on right now. How many times have you thought back to times that you were nostalgic about like, oh man, I remember back when I was in college, best fucking time in my life, but at that moment when you were in college, you were like stressed out about everything. Right. Oh man, this final, I can't wait to get out of college this sucks. And then you look back and like, whoa best time in my life. Well, this is so I'm saying like you didn't enjoy it while you were there. It's so you kind of wasted it. Yeah, the direction, the direction that we're going right now is what is exactly where Katrina and I were last night when we were listening to. Are we going to have sex at first? Maybe. I think we should. It is your birthday.
Starting point is 00:43:53 Daddy's got needs. But this is the direction we got into and this is also where I told her now this is what my favorite part of experiencing microdosing LSD microdosing shrooms and MDM was like for me. I said you know it wasn't like people always ask like oh were you like is it like this and it's like crazy scary or this I'm like no what it was like for me was I was super hyper focused and in the moment. And each one had a little bit of a difference of what they felt like, but I thought that was the coolest part. And then I said, I also could see
Starting point is 00:44:34 while there are some people that become addicted and then they make it, they're world, that everything centered around that. And they have to do Ayahuasca 15 times and they have to, you know, they're doing LSD all the time or they're always they have to do Ioska 15 times and they have to, you know, they're doing LSD all the time or they're all addicted to that feeling. Exactly. And you bring that up also reminds me of why I enjoyed that reunion football game so much.
Starting point is 00:44:59 Oh man. And it's everything dissolved. I bet you were just fucking out. Nothing even matters except for where I was right then You know just kind of just dropped me like out of like a time capsule all of a sudden like I realized right then like I didn't I didn't appreciate playing as much as I did that game because like You know I went through all the rig and morale of practice and you, it just created this whole distraction in my mind of like, okay, well, I gotta do this play
Starting point is 00:45:29 and I gotta study up on this guy and, oh man, my technique isn't really good here and the guard pulls here, so I have to do this and I'd literally like spent zero time planning for this. I just, like, they asked me on a whim, like, hey, you wanna play in this? I'm like, yeah, you know, my friends are going to do it. I was like, I don't know. Should I do it? Should I not do it? There was like this thought, like, why wouldn't I do it? You know, my best friends are in there. They're doing it. You know, why
Starting point is 00:45:58 not? I'm just going to literally look at this as just an activity. I'm going to just involve myself in an activity. You know, barely did like one practice. Barely even remember how to play. I'm not even gonna lie. Like I got out there, I was like, wait, I'm an inside back okay, I do this this. And then I just reacted.
Starting point is 00:46:16 And once I started reacting and I was on the field, it was like the most euphoric, crazy like whirlwind. So. So I could totally see how that translates because you think when you're younger playing football, the pressure to be a starter, to make sure you don't mess up, you're competing against your rival team,
Starting point is 00:46:35 there's this animosity, oh, I'm sore from there, there's all these other thought process that's happening where like you said, you were just so present in what you were doing. It's like you were more appreciative of just being there and being a part of it. And I think also he didn't do it. He hadn't done it for a while and then he kept thinking back to how great it was when
Starting point is 00:46:55 you played football in high school and how you probably missed out on some of how awesome it was because you were kind of focused on other things. And so you got another shot at it. It reminds me of when like grandparents, well, the here's a common phrase you'll hear from grandparents. I love my kids, but I enjoy my grandkids more. And we all joke around and say, oh, it's because you get to send them home afterwards or whatever.
Starting point is 00:47:19 No, the truth is that they're more present second time around. Because your kids grow up so fucking fast and you're stressed out about paying the bills and cleaning the house and all the other bullshit that then they grow up and you're like, oh my God, I didn't stop to enjoy it. Oh, you see that difference just in parents from I'm the oldest of five.
Starting point is 00:47:36 So you could see the way my mom is with the two younger ones versus with me, it's just like, where was all that kind of love? Well, that's what I mean. I think you realize it and you're like, oh my God, I'm going to be more present now. And even when you look at exercise and nutrition, when people treat those great transitions,
Starting point is 00:47:56 I was just going to go there, great transit. Well, I think when people use those two things as tools to be present, you find less harmful practices. Like, if I'm sitting here, less of a punishment. Yeah, and I'm eating something that, let's just talk about something that's not a good food, let's talk about cake.
Starting point is 00:48:19 I'm eating cake right now, but let's just imagine for a second that I'm very present with this cake, and I'm eating it. I'm really savoring and enjoying this cake and what it represents, and it's someone's birthday, and I'm here for this particular moment.
Starting point is 00:48:31 I got my pants off right now. I'm far less likely, probably, to eat a shit ton of it, to blow through it, to binge through it, to eat where I'm hurting myself, my stomach hurts where I'm just, I'm probably gonna have less of it because I would have savored it and gotten out of it what I needed to and then it was done with, same thing with exercise.
Starting point is 00:48:54 If I'm in the gym and I'm working out and I'm like, fuck, man, I just need to build muscle. Oh, I'm fat. You know, I'm in there and I'm kind of thinking about the future and I'm hammering myself for that. I'm not saying myself. Yeah. But if I'm in there and I'm kind of thinking about the future and I'm hammering myself. I'm not saying myself. Yeah, but if I'm in there and I'm like, what, like man, this feels amazing.
Starting point is 00:49:09 Like I'm in my zone, I'm just me. Like this feels so good, things feel so connected. The decisions I make tend to be better. I tend to grab a weight that's more appropriate. You know, not too heavy, right? I tend to do cardio in a way that feels good rather than I need to just beat myself up because I feel like I'm too fat or whatever.
Starting point is 00:49:30 I tend to make decisions that serve me a little better because I'm in more present rather than thinking about all these other things. Yeah, I think it also relates to when we were talking about signing up for a gym and like finding the right environment for you and making that part of the process of something that you can really find that ability to get present in, right?
Starting point is 00:49:55 So for me, and we're talking with our friend Stephanie that came in here the other day and she was talking about working outside and like having to step out of the gym environment completely. And you know, that was something she had to figure out for herself that she does better and thrives better in that sort of a backdrop. So for me, I have like, I have a little bit of both of that.
Starting point is 00:50:20 Like I really enjoy going into the gym. And then like you see the barbells and it brings back the sort of, I don't know, I have this kinship with it that I've built over the years. I really enjoy picking up a barbell. That's something I enjoy to do. Same thing that I've found with Indian clubs and kettlebells. But then I found that I like those more outdoors and I like to do a lot of my trigger, you know, my mobility type movement days. I like to do that outside in nature and I like to surround myself in, you know, just that kind of environment where there's no distractions.
Starting point is 00:51:01 So this is really focused on it. This is why some, this is part of the reason why I think practice is like yoga can be pretty popular for people because especially in the beginning, it's a form of movement that is very much focused on that because if you take a legit yoga class and I'm not talking shit about the ones that aren't like this, I mean, they've got benefit too, but I'm talking about the more traditional type yoga class They they make you think about your breathing and think about intention
Starting point is 00:51:31 In fact, they will actually say the intention of today's Practice is in something that you know, I know when I first did else like I roll my eyes like all right Let's get with the stretching. Yeah, I started to appreciate that kind of stuff. For at the end, you lay down flat and they'll read something to you and then play this kind of this music. What you find is you end up finding yourself kind of being there. And it's always, it was funny when I did when I did yoga and I'm not by no means proficient in it.
Starting point is 00:52:01 I must have taken a grand total of 20 classes at the most. But I would always start the class off, anxious, because I'm not someone that likes to sit still and breathe and do, I'm like, I'd be crawling out of my skin. Dude, yes, that highlights my uncomfortable level. For me, I tend to be totally self-aware. I have to know that I have these inner,
Starting point is 00:52:24 bro, bully like tenancy is where it's like somebody starts with the now we're gonna breathe. And we're gonna be my own and we're gonna have a cast on you know being one. Oh my god. And I just want to punch him. I'm just like stop. Stop. And I'm trying to squash this thing. I don't know how to get rid of it, so. You know what that means, right? It means that's what you need. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:50 I know. It literally means. No, I know that. It's the same reason. I know it. So it's like a bunch of a struggle for me. I was like, ah! That's why you have us, though.
Starting point is 00:52:57 I mean, it's the same reason why you even have been here right now. The first 10 minutes of this conversation is an uncomfortable conversation for you. It's horrible for me. I'm trying to tell you that what's beautiful is, I think I'm the middle of the two of you when it comes to these type of topics is,
Starting point is 00:53:09 yeah, you know, I think Sal's one side of it, I think you're on the other side, and I feel like I'm kind of in the middle of both directions here, and I can tell you being someone who's a lot like you that, you know, I don't think I really needed any of that shit because I'm, I feel that I'm a good communicator and I'm very aware already this and that, like so I didn't feel
Starting point is 00:53:32 that this was necessary. And it was, it really hit home for me with in, in my relationship with Katrina because I feel like we have such a great relationship that there's nothing that needs to be fixed. And it's not like I'm fixing something, I'm just becoming more present with you. You do awesome relationship that I already have. So you do realize that it's what you're experiencing right now is a natural progression and it's easy for me to see on the outside. It's always hard for you to see it when you're on the inside. I don't see my process nearly as well as the people who are close to me around me do because
Starting point is 00:54:04 when you're in it It's very difficult to get it like you can bullshit other people pretty easily But you can bullshit yourself the best absolute best like I can I can Totally fool myself to the point where I believe it and then only later if I ever get out of it Do I look back and go man? I really fooled the fuck out of myself at that particular moment. And this is a natural progression. And a lot of this starts with, you know,
Starting point is 00:54:31 when we started MindPomp, it was, okay, let's look at mobility. Let's look at movement. Let's kind of move away from, you know, building muscle or let's move away from these types of things and that's kind of where it started. And it's almost like it just starts to bleed into everything else where then you look at your relationship. That's the next important thing, right? Then we look at relationships with other people.
Starting point is 00:54:57 Maybe difficult relationships like maybe like relationships with our parents or with our family and people that we don't realize that we may not be very present with at all and it may be just you know You know, marred with all this you know resentment and old shit that we really it's in the past and we really shouldn't even Have you know in the present so I think it's just it's funny because it just continues to grow and challenge you and It just continues to grow and challenge you and exercises a great place to start with it, I think, because it's actually well, for some people, exercise is probably more difficult. I would say people who really, really struggle with body image issues, they might need to apply this mindfulness practice in other parts of their life before they move it to exercise. Well, that's a very difficult way for people to do that a lot. I mean, let's be honest, if we were to, this is why,
Starting point is 00:55:46 for us, it was easy, exercise is easy, because that was a lot of fun. Yeah, but I think why, and this is why I enjoy talking about this type of stuff is, and I hate to be a dead horse because we've talked so much about I, if I am lately, but really, this is the part of it that doesn't get addressed in something like that, is there's so much more going on than just calories and macronutrients. There's so many things going on.
Starting point is 00:56:11 And in my experience, of all the people that we've trained, a majority of them struggle more with the psychological things than understanding the mathematics of things. And I'm not saying there's not an importance to that. There's definitely an importance to understanding the mathematical part of eating correctly. I agree with that. But there is a much deeper and more troublesome and I think challenging thing for people they deal with than just that piece of it. And in my experience, you know, clients get so much more out of helping
Starting point is 00:56:47 them figure that part of the equation out than anything else. Totally. You know, you got it. Totally. We've been told now, look, information on nutrition, there's a lot of it. There's nutrition facts on the back of your food. You know what calories are. We've heard it's been hammering into us that if you eat too many calories and you don't burn it off, you're gaining weight, we know all the information it's there, but it hasn't worked and the opposite has happened. There's still low fat diets that exist, which is hilarious. None of it's worked. And so you gotta ask yourself why? Well, we're not looking at the real reason.
Starting point is 00:57:29 And people can point their fingers at different causes, but when you have wealthy celebrities who've got anything that they want at their disposal who have issues with body weight and gaining weight and eating a certain way, not taking care of themselves. And then you've got people who look like they seemingly have everything together, but they can't deal with that one part.
Starting point is 00:57:51 It's really not, the problem is not the calories and the macros. It is the other underlying issues that go along with it. Because if we fix that, the rest is fucking easy. And then it's just, then it's like, oh, okay, I eat this and I'll eat that and that's pretty much it. But if we don't address those issues, I mean, look, we work in the fitness industry. The fitness industry, you would think,
Starting point is 00:58:17 would have largely by this point solved, bad relationships with food and exercise. I mean, for fuck's sake, it's our industry, right? In fact, you will find more issues with food and exercise when people in the fitness industry then you will with everyday people. I can't tell you, I mean, if I meet 15 personal trainers, I can tell you with full confidence, most of them
Starting point is 00:58:44 will have issues, deep-seated issues when it comes to food and exercise. It's just, the bottom line is, I don't think we're looking at what the real reason and causes for some of these issues that we have. And I think it starts with just, like we're talking about, just kind of being here, being where we're at right now. I mean, approach your exercise that way, approach your nutrition that way. And I think the rest starts to follow.
Starting point is 00:59:09 Yeah, it's always been approached more from placebo and from, you know, people's experiences and then they wrap around some sort of study to promote whichever sort of experience that they felt. And, you know, the science behind it is just not, they haven't taken enough of a real sort of critical eye to really study in the human body and its complexities with nutrition on the level that a lot of other science has. And I feel like that's something that we're paying for.
Starting point is 00:59:45 We all have paid for that as a society, is like this bad information that's been easily just spewed out there because now there's whole organizations and there's whole companies wrapped around that train of thought. There is, and there's lots of money that goes into that, and there's very little money that goes into the emotional component
Starting point is 01:00:09 and connect, you know, when it comes to nutrition, there isn't a whole lot. Not at all. You know, when this really hit home for me was, when I had felt like I had really figured out the macro thing really well, I figured out the programming thing really well. I was motivating. I once I figured all that out as a trainer, and then if I honestly went back and really reflected
Starting point is 01:00:33 on all my clients that came through me, how many of them still maintained health and fitness for a long time. Sure, I got lots of people in great shape over the course of three months, six months, or years worth the time of working with me, but how many of them maintain that and continue on and then pass that on to their family members and stayed healthy and stayed fit, less than probably 25% of them. And when that happened,
Starting point is 01:01:03 and I really started to look at it like that, I went, fuck, this doesn't make sense. I've given them all the best advice nutritionally. I'm motivating them. I'm working them out good. I'm inspiring them. Why the fuck are they, why am I getting less than 50% of them
Starting point is 01:01:19 to fix this for the rest of their lives? And that was the big light ball for me. It's also why I'm so passionate about when we talk about this nutrition thing and we get into these debates about You know this being of the best way or not the best way is that listen man one There's so much more going on there than just some macro micro nutrients and if you're, and I love what you said the other day on the show, Si, when you talked about training because you love yourself, not because you don't love yourself, that is fuck, man.
Starting point is 01:01:54 I mean, really, I wish I could go back and have that little, that piece of advice to say to every person that ever stood in front of me and was ready to purchase training for me started every every every session every workout first with that because that in itself is the first step is just understanding why you're here why are you working out why are you making these decisions and if you're doing it because you're unhappy with yourself, you need to first address that and fix that because otherwise you're setting yourself up for this vicious cycle.
Starting point is 01:02:33 It's true because I've never heard anybody say when I asked them, why are you here with your goals? I've never heard anybody say, oh I'm here because I love myself. Never. It's always like, I gotta get rid of this. Yeah. And I don't like the way I look and I'm sloppy or well love myself. Never. Never. It's always like, I gotta get rid of this. Yeah. And I don't like the way I look and I'm sloppy or what. Well, you see how like even on that Tony Robbins, like documentary how like they would bring up something like that. Like, oh, I wanted to lose weight or, you know,
Starting point is 01:02:58 oh, I think it's, you know, my relationship with my mom or this and that and he's just like, is he think that's what it is? You know, all it is, it's that and he's just like is you think that's what it is? You know, it is it's like he just like You know right from the from the go is just like okay, you know Have you evaluated how you how you look at yourself? You know, what do you how do you feel about yourself? I mean that's what it always revolves around it doesn't all this motivational stuff Yeah, and if you combine that god, I tell you what if you get good
Starting point is 01:03:24 information If you combine that, God, I tell you what, if you get good information, solid information when it comes to nutrition and exercise, which is easy to access, and you fix that other part or you work on, I hate to say fix, because you never fix it. I hate to, you know, I hate to burst everybody's bubble, but it's a process that I think will probably last. It's never ending forever. It's never ending. There's so many layers here.
Starting point is 01:03:43 But if you're constantly, you know Thinking and working on that particular aspect and then you've got good information. You now have a solution You have the solution and no longer becomes a problem. It's something now that you can see yourself doing Forever and that's one of the that's the real test, you know if you're a personal trainer And you get people in shape the real test. You know, if you're a personal trainer and you get people in shape, the real test is when they're not training with you,
Starting point is 01:04:09 have they made this something that they've done forever? If you're a manager and you are very successful manager, how well are those people doing now that you're not managing, now that you're not there for them anymore and they're on their own? And those are the things that really tell you how effective your methods are, and if you've really made a truly made an impact.
Starting point is 01:04:28 I think of it like it's like the same way we talk about dysfunction with our muscles, right? We all have, we're all connected to our muscles and they work, okay? When we walk, if you walk, you pick things up, you put them down, all your muscles are working. But but yet we still talk about there still could be dysfunction there that causes all these aches and pains and problems I feel like we have a lot of dysfunction in our brain. Yeah mental dysfunction. Yes, mental dysfunction Sure, you're working sure you're getting in shape sure you're working out all those things with that the body's working
Starting point is 01:05:01 The brain is working. It's not not working Well, there's an optimal way to do this and And that's what we're all trying to see. And just like Sal said, like it's this never-ending journey. And that's like what I'm trying to share today, I feel like with everybody is that, you know, I just connected another dot with my relationship of where I had some sort of dysfunction. It was working. It was good. It was fine. There was nothing. Was it not working, but it wasn't running optimally. And I just connected another dot to enhance that. And I feel like the same thing. See how that kind of trickles into the rest of your process and your nutrition, working
Starting point is 01:05:35 out, relationship, everything like that. Makes a big impact. Nobody. And I think that's, and I want, I want people to understand that that's the stance that mind pump takes. I know everybody wants to pit us against other people and it's like and they and it's like you're you doing that you know is you're creating a camp we don't want to be dogmatic. I don't want to be it's us versus them they're wrong we're right and I know people thrive off of that and they love that we want to be inclusive not not exclusive. Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 01:06:06 As long as people are open for discussion, we'll always be open for discussion. It's, you know, nobody would, nobody should be. Nobody should be sure of mine, that'd be great. I would love that. Are you kidding me? Oh my God, if I talk to somebody and I'm like, you know, I have my position and then they have their position.
Starting point is 01:06:20 And at the end of that conversation, I change my mind. I'm better. I change my mind, obviously, because I learn some I change my mind. I'm better. I change my mind, obviously, because I learn some new shit. I'm better off. So with that, if you like Mind Pump, leave us a five star rating review on iTunes. If we like your review and we pick it,
Starting point is 01:06:36 you'll get a free Mind Pump t-shirt. You can also check us out on Instagram at Mind Pump Radio. You can find my personal page at Mind Pump Sal. Adam's page is at Mind Pump Adam, Justin's at Mind Pump Radio. You can find my personal page at Mind Pump Sound. Adam's page is at Mind Pump Adam, Justin's at Mind Pump Justin. And you can find Doug the Eagle at Mind Pump Doge. Thank you for listening to Mind Pump. If your goal is to build and shape your body, dramatically improve your health and energy, and maximize your overall performance,
Starting point is 01:07:00 check out our discounted RGB Superbundle at MindPumpMedia.com. The RGB Superbundle includes maps on a ballad, maps performance, and maps aesthetic. Nine months of phased, expert exercise programming designed by Sal, Adam and Justin to systematically transform the way your body looks, feels, and performs. With detailed workout blueprints in over 200 videos, the RGB Superbundle is like having sour, adamant, and justine as your own personal trainer's butt at a fraction of the price. The RGB Superbundle has a 430-day money-back guarantee and you can get it now plus other valuable free resources at MindPunkMedia.com. If you enjoy this show, please share the love by leaving us a fine star rating and review
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