Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth - 597: Best Ways to Speed Up Your Metabolism, Ideal Time to do Cardio, Animal Flow & MORE
Episode Date: September 16, 2017Organifi Quah! In this episode of Quah, sponsored by Organifi (organifi.com, code "mindpump" for 20% off), Sal, Adam & Justin answer Pump Head questions about their thoughts on Animal Flow, properly s...peeding up metabolism, whether to do cardio before or after weights and the most embarrassing things they were ever caught doing. The guys talk about The Defiant Ones (3:10) Have to adapt or die Sal talks about his favorite Four Sigmatic products (14:50) Chaga and reishi mix Quah question #1 – What are your thoughts on animal flow and how would you program it? (16:31) Primal movement patterns MAPS Performance Quah question #2 – How do you properly speed up the metabolism? (24:58) Achieve optimal health Prioritize muscle Do cardio for health Quah question #3 – Cardio, before or after weights? (33:25) Depends on your goal Quah question #4 – What is the most embarrassing thing you got caught doing? (44:12) Related Links/Products Mentioned Organifi Coupon Code "mindpump" HBO | The Defiant Ones | Homepage - HBO.com Hit Makers: The Science of Popularity in an Age of Distraction - Derek Thompson (book) Blue Ocean Strategy, Expanded Edition: How to Create Uncontested Market Space and Make the Competition Irrelevant - W. Chan Kim (book) Four Sigmatic (website) Discount Code "mindpump" MAPS Prime/Prime Pro – GET NOW People Mentioned: Dr. Dre (@drdre) | Twitter Dr. Justin Brink Premiere Spine & Sport (@premiere_spine_sport) • Instagram Jimmy Iovine Steve Jobs Trent Reznor (@trent_reznor) · Twitter Aaron Alexander (@alignpodcast) | Twitter Mike Fitch (@mikegbt) • Instagram Melissa Wolf (@meliwolff) • Instagram Would you like to be coached by Sal, Adam & Justin? You can get 30 days of virtual coaching from them for FREE at www.mindpumpmedia.com. Get our newest program, MAPS Prime Pro, which shows you how to self assess and correct muscle recruitment patterns that cause pain and impede performance and gains. Get it at www.mindpumpmedia.com! Get MAPS Prime, MAPS Anywhere, MAPS Anabolic, MAPS Performance, MAPS Aesthetic, the Butt Builder Blueprint, the Sexy Athlete Mod AND KB4A (The MAPS Super Bundle) packaged together at a substantial DISCOUNT at www.mindpumpmedia.com. Make EVERY workout better with MAPS Prime, the only pre-workout you need… it is now available at mindpumpmedia.com Have Sal, Adam & Justin personally train you via video instruction on our YouTube channel, Mind Pump TV. Be sure to Subscribe for updates. Get your Kimera Koffee at www.kimerakoffee.com, code "mindpump" for 10% off! Get Organifi, certified organic greens, protein, probiotics, etc at www.organifi.com Use the code “mindpump” for 20% off. Go to foursigmatic.com/mindpump and use the discount code “mindpump” for 15% off of your first order of health & energy boosting mushroom products. Add to the incredible brain enhancing effect of Kimera Koffee with www.brain.fm/mindpump 10 Free sessions! Music for the brain for incredible focus, sleep and naps! Also includes 20% if you purchase! Please subscribe, rate and review this show! Each week our favorite reviewers are announced on the show and sent Mind Pump T-shirts! Have questions for Mind Pump? Each Monday on Instagram (@mindpumpmedia) look for the QUAH post and input your question there. (Sal, Adam & Justin will answer as many questions as they can)
Transcript
Discussion (0)
If you want to pump your body and expand your mind, there's only one place to go.
Mite, op, mite, op with your hosts.
Salda Stefano, Adam Schaefer, and Justin Andrews.
In this shocking episode of My Impumps, so for the first 13 minutes we do our fun talk.
We talk about the show, the Defiant Ones on HBO, HBO, highly, highly
recommended, awesome, very motivating series. We talk about Beats headphones, the necessity
to adapt in business and in life. And Adam talks about the book, Blue Water Strategy. I also mentioned four sigmatic. I like to take
Chaga and Rayshi mixed them together for a incredible well-being
mix You can go to four sigmatic.com forward slash mine pump. That's four spelled FO you are
Sigma to SIGMATIC dot com
forward slash mine pump and enter the code mind pump at checkout for a discount
on all of their products.
Then we get into the questions.
The first question was, what are thoughts are on animal flow and how would we use animal
flow in our training?
The next question is, what is the best way to properly speed up your metabolism?
Everybody wants a faster metabolism.
It's easier to be lean when your metabolism is hot.
There are ways you can train to speed it up
and there are ways you can train that will slow it down.
Then we answer the question, when is it better to do cardio
right before you lift weights or after you lift weights?
There is a right answer. You'll find out in this episode.
And finally, we get a little bit,
it's a little cringey, right, little TMI.
Oh, oh, weird.
God, we talk about this.
Chastin' always gets a little,
goes a little too far.
He asked you ahead of time,
like should I go with like the one that's like not so crazy
or like crazy, so you, anyway.
I went crazy.
It gets sexual.
The question was, what's the most embarrassing thing
any of us have ever got caught doing?
And it starts with mine, which is bad.
And it gets progressively much worse.
That's at the end of the episode.
Also, this month, in rolling any maps program
or any bundle and you're going to
get something for free. So this is how it works. Enrolling any maps program, we're going to
give you maps prime for free. This is true for all of the bundles as well, except for the
super bundle, which already includes prime. So if you're enrolling the super bundle, which
is one year, is worth of exercise programming. In other words, your entire year is planned out
with different phases, different training adaptations,
everything, we will also throw in the correctional maps
prime pro for free.
And lastly, if you enroll in the prime and prime pro bundle,
then we're going to give you maps performance for free.
So this month, everybody gets something for free
to complete their program. The place to find it all is mindpumpmedia.com. I just finished the
fuck the doctor. I'm fine ones. The defiant. I've just finished it. By the way,
highly recommend if you want any if you want any motivation at all or anything
I don't give a fuck what you're doing.
Watch that shit, because you and my girl
will watch it at the end of it.
My girl's just like, I need to write.
I need to do my writing.
I need to do a lot of things.
You just get so motivated, but,
the whole beats thing and how they just turn that into this,
they sold for $3 billion for these headphones,
and the way they made them popular was
by putting them on celebrities, because that Yovini guy, he's got all connections, it's just funny that
you're wearing beats that are fucking disintegrating off your face.
And I have these cheap sonies that look pristine.
Well, I mean, the sound quality is amazing though, so you can't take that away.
Well, that's what they did so well, right?
They put so much money into that right making because it you know
Dre was behind that right he was behind the and he's a guy that was is known for his ear and a sound and of course
He's gonna put something together. It's awesome
But probably not thinking about all the other things right making it cool and hip and not oh wait
This might not be as functional right because function is not the most important piece to these right
No, and you probably do what I do which which what's ruined them is working out and sweating
in them.
So, if you didn't work out in some time, yeah.
Well, the, the, the, what's wrong?
Because yeah, you're right sometimes, because my, I've gone through four.
So I've snapped one up here.
I've had the speaker go out in another one, and I've got one disintegrating like yours
right now.
Those are the one, the one that I made the longest.
It took me forever to get him to charge again too,
because I had to like, like, Jimmy it and Jockey it.
And I finally found a cord that'll work.
And I'm like, yeah, I can charge my headphones again.
Yeah, that was a problem too.
Yeah, that documentary, what do you guys think about?
We'll go ahead.
You know, along the lines of what you said,
in regards to that, reminds me of the book Hitmakers too and how it's funny how
once you read a book like that too how you start to see all these other things like in life where
it's like oh that makes so much more sense now when you see that for example what you said about
how he made every famous person that came through his door put those on and he snapped a picture
of him and got it out and you know this, this is this whole idea of, you know,
people are this generation now.
And even our generation, you see people
that are trying to get into the social media world.
And everyone's trying to look to hack the system
to create a video or a post or something that goes viral.
And you just don't realize like the likelihood of that.
It's like winning the lottery.
Like going viral.
No, but if you get a bunch of influencers,
right, but if you get,
if you have a solid product, right?
A solid product, which it is,
it's maybe lacking on the functional side,
but it's cool and it sounds awesome.
Well, we're not built for longevity.
So they use like plastic parts here and there
and they kind of skimp on that kind of stuff,
but it looks amazing, presentable,
you know, it sounds great, but then stuff, but it looks amazing, presentable, you know, it sounds great,
but then it just disintegrates.
Well, the story is become as much fashion as it becomes.
It is, and the story behind it,
what's so fascinating about it was at the time,
because a lot of people, or young people, may not realize this,
but our generation knows this that the industry of music was so strongly disrupted
by technology that it literally threatened to completely ruin and change fundamentally
what it looked like.
If you were in the business of music, like Dr. Dre was and like Jimmy Yodine or Yovine or
whatever was, those guys, especially Jimmy, I mean, or whatever was. It's is Ivy.
Ivy.
Those guys, especially Jimmy, that guy's a,
he's a fucking mogul.
Like he's developed talent and produced talent,
going all the way back to like Bruce Springsteen
and the Rolling Stones,
all the way moving forward to Primus
and Marilyn Manson and Dr. Dre and all those.
He sees this, he sees this wave, right?
Like, oh shit, this is for the first time ever,
something that literally is going to threaten our business
and could put us all out of business easily, very easily.
You know, here's a technology that allows people
to get music for free.
Why would anybody buy my shit?
And what does he do?
He adapts.
He adapts and says, okay, we're not going to be able to fight
this. So let's how can we adapt and work around it and what he did is he created Beats and the
the model where they get music, which is kind of like iTunes, working with iTunes or whatever.
And partners up with streaming. Partners up with what's his name from Apple, Steve Jobs,
Partners up with what's his name from Apple, Steve Jobs,
and creates this product that makes them more money than all of his other products.
Do you know all the...
Combined.
All the greats do this, right?
All the greats.
It's about adaptation, dude.
All the greats have this ability,
so I'm actually reading a great book right now
called Blue Ocean Strategy.
And the idea behind it is that,
all businesses are in blood- infested waters full of sharks.
And the whole idea of the book is you should always be searching for your blue ocean.
And it's inevitable that even when you find blue ocean sooner or later that gets shark infested in bloody water also.
And the people that end up getting gobbled up for businesses that get gobbled up by sharks and end up dying are those that stay in that blood infested water forever and they're constantly trying to figure out versus pivoting to
blue water, which all year. And they give examples of some big companies. And I think
everybody that you've ever seen that's a huge mobile on that level, they're always
reinventing themselves.
And then there's examples of hard-headed
Companies and businesses that refuse to adapt and change right and just fucking die like blockbuster
Blockbuster is with Netflix even approached them right blockbusters one of the best examples
I can think of like Netflix wanted to partner literally went in there said hey, man
We got this great idea. We want to partner with you blockbuster Laft them out of the room and fucking three years later
You know, they're they're they Netflix won't even let them give them a blowjob like that's you know
I mean that's that's where they were and just a few years it's just a few years like this
And this is funny because it's like it's almost like a parable for life like
Life in is business life your body diet whatever it's going to throw shit at you.
You can look at it like where you're trying to hold on to dear life and be like, I will
not change or you can look at it as opportunities because all these disrupting technologies
and business are also all opportunities.
Anytime you have something with your body, you know, with exercise diet,
hey, you know, my knees kind of tweaked right now. Yeah, I can look at it and say,
oh, it sucks, I can't squat, have anymore, or I can look at it as an opportunity to
change my training and direct it in a particular way. Same thing with diet, same thing.
Just if you have that attitude, it seems like you're just gonna kick ass.
Because every time there's change, there's opportunity.
How you do anything is how you do everything.
God, man.
I mean, watching that documentary was just, and Jimmy, I mean, he's just the fucking,
yeah.
That guy's a maniac.
And he just stays true to, you know, like, he sees things and he, like, immediately takes
action, you know, like, a lot of people are very hesitant, you know, when they see all these
signs and warnings and all these things but like you know and he had this like gift of
Even seen like other people's songs that were just sitting on the shelf and presenting it to another artist
He knew would just kill that song and he was right, you know most of the time but like
You know that's a fragile situation you have artists and you're trying to like, you know, like present it
So it's interesting man. It's interesting to see. Well, I love to unpack
I created that unpack that exactly and how he created that like how did you get that point and it starts with the building of your
Your net circle and all the hard work and laborious hours that he put which I love the documentary because it shares the grind
Dude it shares and how how he felt like insignificant,
like he didn't feel like capable to take these jobs on
as he's doing them.
Like he admits, like, I'm not your guy, you know,
but I'm gonna do whatever I can to learn this.
Right.
You know, like I can totally identify with that.
Do you guys, so I was gonna ask,
what parts of that,
because there was some parts that really resonated
with me that were really interesting.
Like one of them was, I don't remember his name,
lead singer of Nine Inch Nails.
Trent Resner.
Yeah, cause he was part of, of, of inner scope.
And he was with another label and wanted to leave that label.
And the reason why he wanted to leave
is because he was being kind of micromanaged.
And he's like this artistic genius.
And then he goes and works for Interscope.
And they're basically, and he's like,
I want you guys just to leave me alone.
Let me do my thing. They're like, done.
What else do you want?
Let me bring in artist, I feel, you know,
I'm interested in it and let me manage that.
And Jimmy's like, the label.
And Jimmy's like, done, done, done.
You got it.
The part of that that resonated so strongly with me is as I get older, I'm recognizing that a lot of what's like, done, done, done, got it. The part of that resonated so strongly with me
is as I get older, I'm recognizing
that a lot of what I do, if not everything I do,
is completely driven by passion and spark of creativity.
It nothing else.
And if somebody forces that on me, it's gone, it's dead.
And it doesn't, it's dead.
It doesn't make, and in fact, it makes me run the opposite way.
So when I heard him say that, and I saw how they worked together,
I was like, oh, fuck, I really resonates.
Yeah.
And then the other part that resonates with me was Dr. Dre.
Dr. Dre is very different than the rest of the guys in NWA
and how we approached business.
He's also very much a passionate creative individual.
But what's funny about him is you think of Dr. Dre
as being like this mogul and hip hop.
And he talks about
how he wears the same fucking clothes every single day and he really doesn't care about fashion,
doesn't care about any of that shit. He just cares about his one passion which is creating
music and that really resonated with me also because there's definitely things about me that
I just don't care about and I don't care that I don't care about and it came out and so when
you see someone that you look up to, say the same thing, makes
you feel better about yourself.
Did you guys resonate with anything in that?
I'm more on the Jimmy side, dude.
I saw a lot of parallels with just the way he gets after work, man.
And I feel like I had the same attitude in business where like, okay, I knew maybe I was in
over my head or I don't know a lot about this, but it never scared me away
from being thrown in the fire.
Like bring it on, I'll figure it out and I'll bust my,
and no one will hold myself, no one will hold me
to a higher standard than myself.
Like I have that, nothing is good enough until I feel like,
I'm killing it and even when I'm killing it,
I still think I can improve on it.
I'm always reflecting on my stuff like that.
So I feel like I can become,
which I think you can become very manic, too.
You could get into your stuff where I've tried to learn
to balance that.
I think you just need to learn to take advantage
of how you're naturally feeling.
So what I mean by that is, we've all experienced this,
I've worked with you guys long enough
to see this happen in all of us,
where we get into a phase either as individuals
or as a team where we're just on fire,
we're just fucking on fire.
And at that time, it's good to fucking work
a shit ton of hours and do everything
because you've got it, you've got it coming out of you.
And then there's moments where you feel a little bit more tired and you a little bit more
balance and you a little bit more whatever.
Take, and that's the time to do those things as well, because it'll help bring back those
moments of spark and energy more quickly, versus trying to fight it all the time, trying
to push it, when then that'll just kind of extend how long it's gonna take before you get
that other spark of creative energy.
So now I know I'm supposed to
Doug's waving at me to mention our sponsor,
ForSigmatic. So I will and I want to tell you guys actually I had you try Adam and I had
Taylor try it a combination and I want to share with the audience of what I've done with some of their products.
So the ForSigmatic products that I am most familiar with the audience of what I've done with some of their products. So the four-signatic products that I am most familiar with, the ones that he's the most,
are the cordi-ceps, the reishi, the chaga, and the lion's mane.
And I like all of them for different reasons.
But there's two that I've combined that I feel 20, 30 minutes later, amazing.
Like I feel so good.
That's the one I had you try.
Was the chaga and Raishi mix.
I don't think you've tried it yet, just then.
I haven't.
I'm gonna, I'll have you try it too.
I gave some to Taylor.
Taylor same thing is it's like, I feel great.
Both of them have EnzioLitic property.
So, anti-anxiety properties.
Both of them have adaptogenic properties.
Both of them seem to have this kind
of acute properties that give you kind of a sense of well-being.
It feels like together I get this kind of the synergistic effect.
So now I don't even take one or the other by themselves, I always mix them.
Love them, great combination.
So if you get a chance, give them a shot, try them out.
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Okay, our first question is from Miss Kelly Kristen.
What are your thoughts on animal flow
and how would you program it?
Ooh, animal flow.
So you guys are a little more familiar than I am.
I'm familiar, I'm not certified.
So you can are a little more familiar than I am. I'm familiar, I'm not certified. So you can actually get a certification,
an animal flow, and I believe your buddies over at
NorCal, all the stick guys.
Yeah, Dennis and all of them, yeah, they're very versed
in animal flow and that's where I was more exposed
to animal flow, just like talking to them and watching what they do
with their clients and also Dr. Brink as well
as another person that I know is very fluent
with animal flow and like what that's all about.
Primarily, it's just like, obviously,
it's very focused on movement.
It's very focused on the intent of the movement
and to express, take your joint through full range of motion,
but in a way that combines movements together.
So it's kind of an interesting type of way to train
because it involves a lot of mobility, obviously.
But now we're creating tension and we're trying to slow down but do it in a way that is
graceful and you can flow through these different positions and rotations.
Are these movements inspired by animals?
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
So like a duck walk would be considered, like, so they have, you have the duck walk in
there.
Bees position.
Yeah.
So you go from beast position, you kind of move forward.
So um, yeah, you go into, yeah, like, it's kind of like a hybrid of yoga meets, you know,
dynamic kind of stretch.
And is it continual movement?
Or is it continual movement?
Or is it a piece of...
We take bits of this and we've actually shared
some of it in our prime and prime pro program
where we take kind of pieces of this.
Like I know we've shot a couple of YouTube videos.
I do like a walking lizard with a rotation
which would be kind of considered a animal flow.
You know, in mind you too, like,
well, I'm talking in general, right?
Because there's a certification,
which I do not have that I'm sure has a protocol of,
like, you know, breaking it down,
like Justin was starting to.
The idea and the concept is you're doing all these
animal moving patterns that require different mechanics.
And like Justin said, you're focusing on the tent,
the intent.
So it's not just getting down and bare crawling,
just for the sake of bare crawling,
like you did in football practice when you were a kid.
It's like actually paying attention to
what foot gets picked up first,
how the toes strike through the ground,
and you're focusing on every bit.
It's very appropriate, receptive, based.
So the whole time, you're just being hyper aware
of where you're in space, what your body's doing,
what you're capable of manipulating.
So, you know, with your, even with your vertebrae and, you know, with your, you know, your
shoulders, your elbows, your wrists, your fingers, like everything has a purpose and an intent
in the movement.
So, yeah, it's like slowing down and like that is like the pure intent of, you know, the protocol.
No, it really depends on your goal on how somebody would decide if this for me or not, right?
Because I know guys and there's a few IG pages. I can't think of a name. I'll talk my head,
but that this is all they do. I was just going to say, has this turned into camps?
Yes, absolutely. This is the part that the knock I have on it
or what I don't like with it,
is I think it's got, there's incredible positive things
about it.
Like our boy Aaron, I know is a big animal flow guy.
You see him move that way a lot intentionally.
And so it has tons of benefits from it.
Mike Fitch, I believe, is somebody.
Yeah, he's the creator of animal
flow. But yeah, and somebody else said, you know, there's always this sort of, you know,
like, I don't know if it's like a fight or it's like some kind of dispute as to who came
up with the concepts and who created like certain part of these movement patterns, because there was,
you know, there's certain like,
type of foundational type movements that, you know,
certain people claim that they created.
And so there was some dispute as to,
even with animal flow, where there,
there, origination can be.
I'm sure on our forum, we'll get schooled on it,
because we always, we have enough people now
with that there's some probably some certified animal flow
people and people that know the history of it better than even we do. But what I
can tell you where I was heading is that you know it can turn into a camp just like mobility camp and
just like CrossFit and just like every other modality. I think there's incredible pieces that you
can take from it. We use different stuff, I'm sure, in all of our routines
indirectly. But again, it's not the end all be all unless that is your goal that you
want to move like an animal. Do you want to be have the ability to move like a duck and
then be able to move like a lizard and to be able to transition back and forth between
that. And that's really cool to you. And because you see the carryovers how it makes you
feel, because let me tell you, if you can do that, you're going to be extremely connected to your body,
and probably not have a lot of aches and pains, because it requires so much mobility and
connection.
Now, do the animal flow people, the camps, where they're like, this is the B-all end all,
do they then, is she like resistance training and kettlebells, are they like, no, that's
stuff, all you need is animal flow, do they talk like that? Do you know?
I'd not, you know what I'm saying?
I could, I could, I could, I could,
I could, I could, I could, I could,
I could, I could, I could, I could,
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I could, I could, I could, I could,
I could, I could, I could, I could, I could,
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I could, I could, I could, I could, I could,
I could, I could, I could, I could, I could,
I could, I could, I could, I could, I could,
I could, I could, I could, I could, I could,
I could, I could, I could, I could, I could,
I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could,
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I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could,
I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could,
I could, I could, could, I could, I could, could, I, could, I could, I could,
I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, could, I could, I could, could, I, could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I, I could, I could, could, I, could, I, could, I could, movement patterns, which is what I was alluding to is,
there's a couple different gurus out there
that clean the ones that came up
with these primal movement patterns
that everybody's sort of replicating
in their specific modality.
Well, here, you know what's,
what I like about it from what I know is I like the name
and I like the way that they've used animal
movements as the basis from a marketing perspective. It's brilliant, but there's also a history behind that
the some of the oldest if not the oldest
forms of martial arts and philosophies
Concluses are based on animals
even the most ancient religions,
the zodiac signs, the constellations,
were all, and I can't remember the term that they use
to describe things that are based on animals,
but they are, they're based on animals,
all the symbols of the, many symbols of the zodiac,
of course Kung Fu, they would watch animals
and try to mimic their movement
and develop fighting styles around them.
There's definitely some interesting information
in observing our animal, you know, friends or whatever,
and how they move and then applying some of those things
to humans and what that does for our movement and mobility.
I think it's brilliant from that particular perspective.
Yeah, I mean, it's a very interesting concept.
And I mean, as far as applying it into your programming,
like anywhere so, like, maps performance has days
where we just focus on mobility and like,
really the movement is the focus that day,
even though it's stretching,
you're actually going through these mobility flow
so you could replace some of these mobility patterns
that we have in there with animal flow
or even like working on certain
like very specific primal patterns
like we have in our Maps Prime Pro
which that way we can at least start to activate
certain parts of your body that may be not so active.
Quick commercial break, hey, people ask us all the time how they can support MindPump.
Here's what you can do.
You can go to www.brain.fm-minepump and get 20% off BrainFam for meditation or focus.
You can also go to audible-trial.com-min mind pump and get a 30 day trial plus one free audio book.
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Next question is from X E F R E N X X. How do you properly speed up the
metabolism?
Yeah, good question.
Nothing will do a better,
nothing will do a better than probably.
Oh yeah, I was gonna say that maybe you're right.
I was gonna say, did them building muscle blood?
Yeah, that's a great, I'm glad you said that Justin.
Because you're probably, I mean,
that's probably a better way to say it is.
Just get healthy.
Yeah, because a body that's in poor health,
you're gonna have all kinds
of hormonal and metabolic issues. So that's the overarching, like that is the priority is to achieve
optimal health. A body and optimal health will store body fat the way it's supposed to. And will
you know, it'll burn a little bit more calories. Your cravings will match what you need in terms of food.
So we all know this with proper health,
but even if we break it down even more,
one thing you wanna consider with your metabolism is this,
you can pretty much take your activities
and the decisions, the things that you do every day
that affect your metabolism,
you can put them into two categories.
Things that do a good job of burning calories manually
and things that teach your body
to burn more calories automatically.
So, and here's an example.
Cardio burns more calories than weight training typically.
So if I go for a run for an hour,
I will manually burn more calories running
than I do during the same hour of resistance training,
maybe even twice as many calories or more.
However, only one of those forms of exercise
is teaching my body or signaling my body
to burn more calories all the time.
Only one of them is accelerating the automatic calorie burn,
which is what you want from a fat loss perspective,
because manual calorie burning is tough, it's hard work,
and it's not effective.
How many calories do you think you can burn in an hour
with a really hard workout?
I don't know, maybe a thousand if you're pretty fit.
Wow. A thousand. Yeah, maybe if you're fit and you're fucking going nuts, but most people
with 500, 600 calories, you know, that's still high though. Yeah. It's not my 100 for your average
person. How many, how many, how easy is it to eat 500 calories? Yeah. Everybody listening
right now could eat 500 calories in five minutes,
no problem. So what you want to do besides being healthy is you want to gear your exercise around
signaling your body that it's in its best interest to burn more calories. And the best way to do that is to prioritize muscle, because muscle is an expensive tissue
on the body.
The more muscle you have and the more condition that muscle is, the more calories your
body will burn automatically to support that muscle.
If your body does not think it's in its best interest to have that muscle, then it won't,
and you won't speed up your metabolism.
And an excellent way of doing that is to tell your body
to be extremely efficient with its calorie burning
and just to have endurance, which is what cardio does.
So cardio actually does the opposite of speed up the metabolism.
Cardio, besides if doing cardio to improve your health,
once you go past that, like the healthy aspect of cardio,
once you go past that, all the healthy aspect of cardio, once you go past that, all extra cardio,
slows you in the tablet.
That's such a contradictory bomb that you just play.
It's so subtle, but like a lot of people
think completely opposite of that.
You know, their go-to is cardio,
to rev their metabolism, I think that's gonna be the answer.
This is why I can't wait till the revision
of the nutrition guide is out,
because I know you get into this
and we talk about intuitive eating and understanding,
you know, we talked off air the other day
about the body systems and how, you know,
we separate all of them.
And it's really crazy that we do that,
because it's really all one system.
You know, we're one body.
Yeah, we talk about it all these separate systems, but it's really, we separate them for learning
purposes and teaching purposes, right, to understand an area of the body that works together.
But in reality, it's all one big one.
And when you think of it more like that, you have all these different parts of this one major system
that's not operating correctly.
You're, that's gonna affect your metabolism
almost more than anything else.
So, and that's definitely a conversation of mine
that has changed from the old trainer
to a much older or wiser trainer.
You know, now when I talk to people,
I speak way more to sleep and stress and stuff like that even more so than diet like diets always up there
Of course and exercise because those are very very important to keeping yourself healthy and strong and burning fat and building muscle
But you know what if you're if you're not sleeping you're stressed the fuck out like there's wheels otherwise
Yeah, you're not you're never your body, the nutrients that it needs.
You have a major deficiency somewhere.
I mean, all of these things are going to have a play
and a factor in your metabolism overall,
even if it doesn't seem like it affects it directly,
it does indirectly affect it.
And getting that all squared away first,
well, I think have the greatest change
on your body's composition
or what you were probably in search of
to help build the metabolism.
I mean, hormones have a major influence on
how you store body fat, how much body fat you'll store,
and you know, your food cravings,
and where you store body fat.
So you can see this very clearly.
It's actually interesting because I have a daughter
that's almost eight years old.
And within the next few years or so,
she'll be going through puberty, right?
And it's a very clear thing you can see,
especially in the female going through puberty,
is how their body changes how they store body fat.
And this is the direct result of changes in hormones,
just what happens.
Well, as an adult, your hormones should be
at a particular healthy optimal level. But if you're not healthy, just what happens. Well, as an adult, your hormones should be at a particular
healthy, optimal level, but if you're not healthy,
they're not.
Your hormones are then playing ketchup to keep you from dying
or to try and keep you, you know, with some more energy
because you didn't sleep well or whatever,
and the last thing your body's thinking is, like,
you know, better fat storage and all that stuff.
That just ends up becoming a bad side effect,
and so if you're not healthy, hormones are off,
that'll affect fat storage.
But to go back on the cardio thing,
I wanna repeat myself, when you do cardio,
besides trying to get endurance and cardiovascular fitness,
if you're an athlete or you really want
cardiovascular endurance and performance,
then what I'm about to say
doesn't necessarily apply to you.
But if you do cardio for the purpose of health and fat loss,
then listen to what I'm about to say.
Do cardio for health.
Don't do any more cardio.
Every bit of cardio you do over that
is telling your body to become more efficient
with its calories and its slowing your metabolism down.
Period, end of story.
So again, cardio for health and that's it.
Anything above that, you are now teaching your body to become more efficient with calories
and you are slowing your metabolism down.
So if you're viewing your workouts as I want to kind of be lean, I want to be functional,
I want to have muscle, I want to have a faster metabolism, I want to be healthy,
then that's how you treat cardio.
Do enough to keep you healthy, don't do any more.
Resistance training hands down bar none.
There is no form of exercise period
that will positively affect your metabolism
in the context of trying to be lean
like resistance training.
And incidentally, resistance training also has
very favorable effects on your hormones, especially
if you train properly.
This is one of the reasons why some of the most surprising comments that people will send
me when they start on a maps program is they'll say, well, I did maps and I reduced cardio
like you said.
And after about two or three months, like, I'm leaner ever, and I'm eating 500 more calories than I was before.
I get this a lot from women in particular,
because they tend to fall for the cardio-finatic paradigm.
And they're always shocked,
like I'm doing so much less work.
And it's like, all you've done is your body now has decided
that it needs muscle more
than it needs to be efficient at burning calories.
So you have a faster metabolism,
and it makes life a lot easier.
Sarah gone sane. Card cardio before or after weights.
Right into the cardio.
Right.
You want some more cardio?
If you weren't done with South cardio,
here's some more cardio for you.
This all depends on your goal.
If you're prioritizing cardiovascular endurance
and performance, then cardio before weights.
If you're prioritizing strength and muscle adaptations
in that particular sense, then do weights first.
Really, that's about it.
What you do first tends to be what your body will prioritize
for adaptation.
But what do you guys feel about combining cardio
and weights in the same workout versus having them do separate?
So I'll tell you how I had you train your athlete. Yeah, I'll tell you how I train competitors and myself.
Cardio is after weights and here and I'll tell you the the idea and the theory behind this, right?
So and when I say theory, there's like some of this is supported by science and some of this we just don't have a lot of studies on.
We just know it seems to work right
So let me preface with that first
Because I know when you do straight up studies on separating and I know get this from somebody
They go. No, they show that it's pretty much the same thing. It's like well. Yeah, pretty much is but this is
the the theory behind
Why I do it this way. I'll take clients that know cardio whatsoever.
The first bit of cardio that I introduce
is 12 to 15 minutes a hit, post weights.
And the idea behind this is this,
is I want most all of your energy going to weight training.
I want you to be able to hit the session hard and heavy
and send a loud signal to build muscle
because that's a priority. Obviously,
I'm getting you in competitive shape. We care about sculpting the body so muscle is a high
priority. And I want to do as little cardio as possible because the more cardio I do, I know
I'm going to start sending a conflicting signal to your body because the main signal I want is
build muscle because that's a high priority when you're presenting a muscular physique.
So that's the main signal.
I don't want to convolut that with all kinds of cardio signals.
So the little bit I do put in there,
I put post workout 12 to 15 minutes.
And the reason post, instead of pre,
is the idea is that, and these are rough numbers.
The body uses up about 85% or so of the glycogen
that you have stored up in your body during that workout. So I still have a little bit left in my
reserve because I didn't really push the body that hard to tap into all of it. So finishing off
with some cardio afterwards, hoping that I've completely depleted myself. Now when I go home,
or I'm walking to my car
and then I go shower and I kind of do my stuff around the house,
my body's still now metabolizing fat
as a primary source of fuel.
So that's the idea and theory behind why I order
the cardio like that is for those reasons.
And then as I get closer to stage,
or they get closer to stage,
I would slowly increase the recommendation of cardio
But it would be very slow and gradual and it would be as little as possible because I know the more and more cardio
I make that person do the more I'm saying. It's very reflective with sports like you know any sport like I
The same sort of mentality being that you know resistance training
You want that to be the priority. You want that to be the focus you want, you know, resistance training, you want that to
be the priority, you want that to be the focus, you want to, you know, utilize all of your
energy sources towards, you know, the resistance training portion of the day. So, when we used
to do workouts, a lot of times, too, we'd schedule conditioning, just, you know, within
like the parameters of practice. So I always tried to steer.
If I was training like clients,
and I knew that they had practice,
it was more like the skills days.
We tried to organize it where it was more of the skills days
or it was lighter on the conditioning,
but they would do that after.
Like they would see me first,
we would do their workouts, then after that,
they would go through their skills in conditioning
and stuff like that throughout the week. It's not necessarily ideal, but that's the way that, you know,
I would prioritize it that way. And, you know, it's like, it degrades otherwise. If I'm
in the gym and we're lifting weights and you're already taxed, you know, like conditioning-wise,
you know, like the benefit of it, I'm not going to receive.
The weights become an extension of cardio.
That's what it feels like.
I've done it before.
You know, where you exhaust yourself with cardiovascular activity, then you go lift,
and it's basically just more cardio with weights at that point, because you're so tired,
you're still working on endurance.
From a fat loss perspective, after weights, way and I'm gonna I'm gonna back up Adam because I've seen in Met
Some of his athletes and some of the people he's trained during compative before during after competition
And I've also I also know other competitors that have done things on the run and worked with other coaches and all that stuff
Adam's athletes
Look amazing and do way less work.
Way less work and the rebound is way less severe.
Way less severe.
In fact, I don't have a rebound.
They come out of it and they come out okay,
they don't get the metabolic damage that comes from,
you know, the crazy cardio sessions
that some of these other athletes have.
Well, and that's also something cheating.
This is another thing to keep in mind, right?
So I'm always telling my athletes or even clients as I'm training them and we're, if
we're dieting and training hard and kicking up cardio and stuff, is always being the back
of your mind thinking about what you're having to do to maintain this look, you know?
So you have, you have this awareness of this is what it takes.
And when you decide that you no longer care
to try and keep your body this lean this low,
you gotta understand that what you were doing
to keep it there and at each level.
So, you know, when all of a sudden you cut out
this cardio that you were doing twice a day,
well, well, be careful because you have got the body
so adapted to that for so long now that when you all
sudden cut that out and which most competitors do after they're done training
super hard for eight, 12 however many many weeks. So of course the body starts to
put on fat like crazy like you admit you told it that it's supposed to do two
hours of cardio every day. So I never want to give them more than more than
something that they can't really manage as they get out
So it's only 12 to 15 minutes. That's not really hard to manage and then like Melissa's in her peak week right now
So the most we ever got up to was an hour cardio
She got up to an hour cardio about five days a week in addition to her 12 to 15 minutes post workout
And this is how how when did she start that before the contest?
Like at what point?
What should you do in the hour cardio?
Just last week.
She had, I know it's funny about this.
She never did any, an hour cardio before that competitors will do an hour
cardio starting off day one, starting off their 12 weeks to my contest.
Day one hour cardio at 14 days.
Ridiculous.
At 14 days out.
I looked at her and I said, okay, here's where it
becomes a sport. Here's when you turn on the extra activity more than you're every day.
We're trying to do a little bit more than we were doing the day before and you're only
doing that for the next, you know, not even 14 days because really peak week. This today
was her last workout. So she's not even working out anymore. She's done working out. The
work is done. So and again, trying to explain that to her to you
She's like how come we're not training all the way up into the show so listen the real work has already been done
Like you're not in three days
We're not gonna build five pounds of muscle and we're not gonna burn five pounds of fat
So really now we're just trying to the body that we built on you
We're trying to present it as best possible. And you actually moving
a bunch, actually makes it more difficult for me. Because now what I have is I'm filling her body
up. I'm wanting to assess after every, you know, meal and amount of calories and carbohydrates,
she takes what she looks like. And a lot of that is feedback from her telling me like, okay,
I feel tight right now. I feel the best I've looked and then she'll eat another meal and I'll ask her,
do you look better?
Worse or the same and she looks the same or worse than we know that that's her amount to kind of fill her body out and that's kind of and again these are all
You know theories case by case because everybody's unique and different like everybody's metabolism's different
So you know people always want me to talk about this piece and I don't share it a lot because it's so individual
It's so individual.
This is her.
You know what I'm saying?
I, I, I, someone else,
another client I'll take will be totally different,
but yeah, this is where.
But the cardio advice is I think fucking gold
and that applies to pretty much everybody.
Yeah, we actually, and I,
and I didn't even prescribe the cardio.
I gave her the option.
Basically what I did was, you know,
we started nine weeks ago and every week we monitored her her steps her neat
So just how much she was walking and when we really turned on the let's start leaning out
Which was about six weeks out. I started to increase her neat by about 20% every week
So she I increased her from let's just say she was doing 10,000 steps every day to now doing 11 to 12,000 steps.
And then we just kept building upon that through steps just walking.
And I actually said, I don't want you to cardio only walk, just move.
The final 14 days, what I said to her, I said, okay, every day, step more if it requires you to maybe
do cardio to get to your target, then do it.
If you can do it without doing cardio, do that. That would be ideal.
Ideal would be not even having to do the cardio,
but if you need to, which I knew she would probably
end up having to, because nine weeks
of slowly increasing steps a week, every week,
every week, every week, she's not got a nice little workload.
And it was all, I took her from burning on our,
and again, these are all arbitrary numbers
because it's her fit bit, it's what we've tracked,
but obviously what we're showing is the difference, right?
So when she first started, she was burning between 1600 to 1800 calories a day.
And now she's all the way ramped up to burning up to 2500 calories a day.
And so very cool.
Slowly progress that.
And then when we when we come out of the show, we'll slowly reduce it.
We'll go back.
I don't want her to go all the way back to what it was day one.
I want it to go.
Yeah, rebound.
Yes, slowly.
And it won't be that hard because the first thing I just
have to get rid of is just get rid of the running, but stay
active.
Move.
Walk, just as much you were, but now we just drop off the cardio.
And her, she won't rebound that hard because it wasn't like
she'd been sending that signal for that long.
Excellent.
So I guess the short answer for most people, cardio,
after weights. Quick commercial break, you guys. We keep getting asked all the time,. So I guess the short answer for most people, cardio after weights.
Quick commercial break, you guys.
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Next up is the Lesniac Vera. What is the most embarrassing thing you ever got caught doing?
Oh my god. I got one that's horrible, dude. I got a horrible one. I can't, yeah.
I'm horrible ones.
Oh no, but it's bad dude, it's really, really bad.
So go on vacation with my family.
So I had to come back early because I had to work.
So I was at least 19 or 20, at least 20 years old
because I was still living at home, but I know I have to get back to manage Jim. It was at least 19 or 20, at least 20 years old,
because I'm still living at home, but I know I have to get back to manage Jim.
So I'm still, I'm young, but I'm not a kid.
I'm an adult, right?
So I get home, my parents were still,
the rest of my family's still on vacation.
So I'm home by myself because I couldn't stay
on vacation as long as everybody,
because I had to work.
So I get back, and so this is 18 years ago,
so the internet exists, and one of the greatest things
about the internet that I've talked about this many times
is porn, especially for someone who grew up during a time
when you had dirty magazines, and they were very hard
to come across, and they were very hard to come across and they were
embarrassing to buy and when you had one that was the one you used forever because otherwise you
have to work up the critical buy another one so you just didn't right. So I'm like I get home,
I've been on vacation and I'm like oh fuck like no one's home. I get to get on the computer and
just look at like. Oh yeah. This is gonna be great like candles. I get ready to choose everywhere.
Close the blind.
Cause I don't have a computer in my room.
This was like the computer room for the family.
But nobody's home, so it doesn't matter, right?
Oh my God.
It's like in the family.
Oh God.
Are you dirty?
I close the blinds.
I'm like, oh, this is gonna be here for at least a couple hours.
So.
Get his comfortable slippers on, his favorite lotion.
So I sit down, right?
I sit down, I pull it up, and I've got my shorts down
around my ankle that I'm sitting there on this chair.
And I'm going through, and I'm taking my time.
Oh my God.
So what I didn't know, this is a true fucking story,
and it's unspoken to this day, but I'm disforable.
What I didn't know is that my parents gave my grandfather
keys to the house because his job was to come check
on the house, water the plants, no shit.
So the computer room is a room that is next to the garage.
So the computer room is a room that is next to the garage. Okay, and that's where my grandfather came in the house through.
So as he's trying to, and I don't know about you guys, but when you're doing something
you're not supposed to or whatever, you're about to get caught doing something embarrassing.
Your mind, you freeze for a second because you don't know what to do first.
So I hear the door start to unlock the garage door yeah do you turn the the
porn off the computer do you pull your pants pack of I'm like what I call
the lotion I'm not here all over what's one of these situations do I have
your first move yeah that's exactly what happened in my head I hear it I hear
it first that the red is panic is inside me now as a fucking 20 year old man by the way. Okay, which is way more embarrassing.
So I hear the fucking garage, you know, the doors are open. So first I have to register what's going on.
And I'm like, oh shit. Gotta pull the pants. Gotta be my grandfather. Yeah. No. That's not the first thing I do.
First move. No, because I had some horrible shit on the screen.
That for sure.
You had to get rid of that.
But without your pants on.
Now, how'd I known?
So you get up.
How'd I know that I, like, how'd I done this?
Cause we're all, we're all guys.
Yeah.
There's two modes that you go into when you're a guy,
when you're jerking off.
There's mode one, someone can walk in in at any minute.
So you're already in a mode.
You already have your plan. And then there's mode two. Ain't walk in it in 80 minutes. So you're already in a mode mode. You already have your plan.
And then there's mode two, ain't nobody gonna come in.
Total different style.
Total different style.
Oh, you're cranking on it.
Yeah, you're anger.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
Total different relax you.
Otherwise, you're just kind of like looking at the door.
Yeah, always careful.
And yeah, we're gonna do, yeah, it's a little, yeah.
You know what I'm saying? You can speak you in. You know what you're gonna do? Like, this one's like full display. Yeah, always careful. And yeah, you know, you know, you know, you know, we're
gonna do like this one's like full display. Yeah, exactly. Otherwise, I know what I'm
gonna do. Someone might walk in your feet were like, up a little. So I have fucking no,
nothing, no, no person. I'm not expecting anybody to come in. Oh, it's me all day for the
next week. I hear this thing opening. I don't fuck, I freak out because I don't have a plan.
Now what I should have done is just turned off the screen,
the computer screen, but instead I go to click off
the website because I'm like, I'm on the internet.
I'm gonna make noises too, like we do here.
And the internet wasn't fucking fast.
Yes, it was doing that too.
So I go to click off.
I click on, I don't remember what I did.
I went on Yahoo or some fucking page.
Door opens, because I hear door creaking open.
So now I reach for my shorts and I try to fucking pull them up.
Okay.
Oh, got the jean shorts with zipper.
The jean shorts.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, god, you didn't get any sack in there, you know.
I couldn't get them up in time.
Oh, my god.
I couldn't get them all the way up in time. So what I did was I'm sitting, imagine me sitting
in this fucking chair with my shorts.
He's like, cross your legs or what?
I pull them up as much as I could without standing up.
So I didn't stand up.
So I pull them up so my ass is hanging out the back.
But the front is covering just enough.
Just enough legs and sobs are kind of making their way out.
So I'm sitting at the chair dude.
Wow.
With my ass hanging at the bottom, my pants pulled up a little bit,
my shirt kind of covering it, and I look over
and my grandfather's right there and I'm like,
hey, how you doing?
Thank you, bye bye.
Now in my culture, okay.
You get up and hug, right? You get up and you gotta give them a kiss. You gonna give him a kiss. Oh my God. But I didn't. No. Because if I got up, I'm fucking naked, dude.
Like, yeah.
But I'm sure from the side, you can see my ass hanging out anyway.
My grandfather normally would get pissed off and say something.
Like, you better get up and give me a kiss.
He didn't say anything, because I know he saw my ass hanging out.
He's like, oh, this boy has been.
He didn't even come say hi to me, dude.
He walked in.
He goes, oh, you're back.
He's back.
He's back. He's back. He's knew my ass hanging out. He's like, oh this boy has been
He didn't even come say hi to me dude. He walked in he goes, oh, you're back. I'm back
And he goes, okay, he goes he looks at me kind of funny goes, okay I'm gonna go in the back here and water the plants and he walks out the and I and it's never been spoken
He's ever said in, it never happened.
I don't think it's ever happened.
Both of us, but for sure, he saw my ass hanging out.
Delete file.
Easily most embarrassing things.
I don't know like in top that.
But I, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
you did remind me of something.
Cause I was like, well, I'm trying to think of something
but the first thing that comes to mind where I was,
I, to this day, like still embarrassed about it
because it's like that.
It's still unsaid.
Yeah. Right?
So I am 17, I'm a senior graduating high school, or I graduated from somewhere around
that range, right?
And it's my high school girlfriend.
And we're hanging out in her place.
Now remember, I was the good kid, right?
I didn't do any drugs. I was a virgin, right?
All through school.
Holy child.
Totally, yes, totally holy child for sure.
And so it was my girlfriend, so she was good girl,
but we fooled around.
And when we couldn't petting.
Right, there's a lot of heavy petting going on.
Whenever we could, when there's no parents around
or what are we with that. So she used to live out on this ranch and they had this really long driveway
that was gated and it was great because if her parents weren't home, even if they just
went to the store for like 15, 20 minutes, we had time to full around and you could always
see them coming up the driveway, right? And we'd have plenty of time to, you know, act
like we're watching TV
or whatever.
So it was the perfect situation for a teenage boy
who's trying to get some all the time.
So her parents are going out of town.
So I'm like, similar situation.
So there's another myself.
Yeah, I got a girl.
I mean, I bring the flowers over, everything I'm all excited
for this weekend of lots of heavy petting, right?
So this is coming to me and I'm excited
and she calls me up and says, you know,
hey, my parents left, so I head over there
and just like any other teenage boy,
you waste no time right away
and we're already starting to fool around.
We're in her room and I did,
I just brought her a bunch of flowers and stuff
and we're in her room, we're fooling around, and her door is closed, and I guess her parents forgot
something, and they turned back around to pick something back up at the house.
And-
So you didn't even expect them to come back?
I'm not expecting them to come back and see it normally, like exactly what you said,
I would be on messing around high alert.
There's messing around high alert, just like they're jerking off high alert versus I have no care in the world. They're
leaving for three days. I've got the next eight hours. I'm not even worried about it.
You know, so we are in we're going and she's loud and her parents came back in and the
only way I actually found out because she's so loud. I didn't hear the car. I didn't
hear the door. Oh my God.
Her dad is walking down the hall and he used to do this thing
when he was coming down the hallway.
He would knock his knuckle on the wall.
He was a big old six foot, six, a lawyer guy, right?
And here's this, the poor Mexican kid
that's dating his daughter.
He fucking didn't like me, right?
And he's coming through and he's knocking with his finger and then like 15 minutes later
We're like in the we're still in the room like I'm afraid to fucking leave the room
So you hear that sound and you're like oh my god. Oh, yeah, and she was
Moaning super loud and I barely tore I heard that after after after she had already knocked multiple times
It was right right at the door and so we're in the room. Of course, we've pulled everything up.
They didn't walk in yet, but I'm like, his, her mom starts vacuuming.
She's vacuuming the hallway and shit like that.
Trying to make sound.
Yeah, they're trying to make sound to let us know we're there.
And I am scared to fucking death to walk out of that room, man.
And it took me so long till we finally, and I didn't know what to expect.
Like, is this guy guy is he gonna grab me
My fucking throat and like strangling or this is and by the way, this is the baby, right?
So it's his youngest daughter, you know, and we're 17 years old and he just heard her moaning at the top of her lungs
And I'm scared to death to walk out and they never said anything to either one of us
But Jesus was that so scary for me.
Now when they left, let me ask you this,
when they finally did leave, did you finish?
Yes.
I scared as you are.
I scared as you are.
Of course.
I feel like I've gone through three different stories
in my head, are you?
I'm like, which one do I tell, dude?
Like, do you want me to tell like the worst one?
Or like the...
Of course I want to hear the worst one.
This was like, literally just came to me now.
I think I totally repressed it.
You know what I mean?
Like it went like into a dark file space
in the back of my head.
So, you know, along, cause, cause, you know,
you guys are kind of bringing up
a little bit more of the sexual sort of,
you know, embarrassing things.
So this is along those lines on some level.
I was like, I had not experienced anything yet.
I didn't even know how to jerk off.
No, this stuff.
It was probably when I was maybe like 8, 9, 22.
So I went, yeah, it took a while.
It took a while to figure out all that stuff out.
The mechanics.
Anyway, I would have nocturnally emissions.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a thing.
It's a wet dream.
Yeah.
It's a real un-scientific, by the way, people.
You were probably like 12 or 13.
I don't think you could have that even younger.
Fine.
You were late, Bloomer.
It's okay.
Fine, let's talk about that.
No, it was probably like 11.
Oh, this is like youth group. It's okay. Fine, let's talk about that. Yeah. No, it was probably like 11.
This is like youth group.
Oh really?
Like before like,
Yeah, I didn't get nothing like that that early.
Yeah.
So, yeah, so I had like reoccurring sort of, I had this happen a couple times and I decided
to sleep naked, you know, because I was like, I don't want to keep messing this up.
My mom does my laundry is getting awkward.
You know what I'm saying? But you didn't know what was this up. My mom does my laundry, it's like getting awkward.
You know what I'm saying?
But you didn't know what's going on?
What?
You had no idea what was going on though.
What do you mean?
Like, you didn't know what it was?
Oh no, I knew what was happening.
You know what I mean?
Cause I had those dreams.
Yeah, that shit was fun.
You know what?
But yeah, so I woke up and it's just a mess.
You know what, wait, wait, we gotta back this up here.
Okay, so you've now put this together
because the fact that you have this memory,
I wish I had this memory, so I don't remember.
I didn't have any wet dreams, so something,
I guess that's normal, right?
It's dirt off too much.
Yeah, maybe that's what I'm talking about.
Exactly, yeah, I didn't even know how to do that.
So, yeah, so because you don't,
I do it like titties.
You know, you like, well, you do it like stuff like that.
So you have this dream, now did that encourage you to start exploring
with yourself and trying to figure it out?
Or did you not really?
Which is weird.
Okay, it actually took a girl to kind of coach me through.
Like did you think you wet the bed at first?
Did you think you like pissed the bed at first?
Or did you like, yeah, I didn't know what it was.
It was first time I had a problem.
So I was weird.
Yeah.
I thought you had a jack off. Yeah. Oh, it was great. No, she didn't know what it was, it was first time I had a book. So I was like, yeah, it was weird. Yeah. I thought you had a jack off.
Yeah.
Oh, this is great.
No, she didn't teach me.
She did it to me and I was like, oh!
And then after that, I was like, that's how you do.
Your first time of actually manually
ejaculating was from a hell job.
Wow, that must have been amazing.
It was the best.
Like literally beautiful. That was an best, like literally, that was the most amazing.
flew out of my deck.
It was like this magical eruption.
You know what I mean?
I'm actually, we'll get back to the story.
We're back to the crazy, yeah.
So, God, this is so embarrassing.
So I was like, you know, having this problem,
I decided to sleep naked.
And this is back when, you know, I was, I was like, you know, having this problem, I decided to sleep naked. And this is back when, you know,
I was heavy into church and we were going all the time
and I was part of this youth group and all this stuff
in this pastor, you know, back then,
they're trying to make it all cool.
And you know, like bring your friends
and we're gonna have a great time, we're at pizza
and you know, like watch movies and all this kind of stuff.
And so like their thing was to like,
videotape and videotape, like pranks and all these kinds of things.
And they would watch it.
In the youth group, you go there and you'd watch,
like, this is what, so their thing was to wake people up.
Oh no.
Right?
It's so, I was like, of course this is the night where I said,
see naked and I was having, you know,
what dreams?
You're way, you're at the church camp function.
No, listen, they're, they're, they're,
you're a church camp.
It was like you've been punked.
You know, like they would go to people's houses
and try and wake them up because they look like shit.
You know, when you wake people up and they're like, ah-ha.
And so they're bringing this guy, this like youth pastor comes in.
He fucking rips open the sheets.
I'm butt naked.
You know what I'm saying?
He's got the camera.
He's like, ah, he's like, oh no.
Like you didn't even know what to do.
And I was just like, I tried to cover up.
And I was like, oh my god, what's going on? Like I didn't even know what was going on. I was just like, I tried to cover up, and I was like, oh my God, what's going on?
Like I didn't even know what was going on.
And like, so it needs us to say, they didn't use the footage.
And like, that would have been the end of like,
all of my social like existence.
Oh my God.
But I couldn't believe I was like,
I got really mad at her.
I was like, what the fuck is going on?
Like, start swearing and like, you know, being completely.
What kind of church girl is this?
Let's get the fuck out of this.
Oh my God.
That's so pissed.
That's horrible.
Yeah, that's horrible.
Yeah.
I got punked.
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